Welcome to the Horizon 2.10: The Astral Sea

29:19Not a bad point.

29:27Beautiful place! Yeah. Reminds me of Denona. Remember Denona? Oh yeah. What was that? Point three G's? Point two! You walked around, light as a feather. There was always music in the air. Couldn't stay too long, though. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave. Not unlike the past.

30:11I forgive you For what? You know what I'm sorry I built the cow catcher I forgive you I don't know how But it seemed like the only thing to do It's in our nature, Leif Fixing problems that's what engineers do. The problem isn't in fixing problems. The problem is in what you do and don't call a problem. Croc is definitely a problem. So is the cow catcher, Leif. You can't fix a problem with a problem. Leif, This problem can't be solved by a page from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. This problem is too big. If this guy goes unchecked, he could fuck up an entire universe. All I had to work with were some really bad ideas.

31:22That's not all you had, Leif. You've always had more than that. Let me give you some advice. The kind of advice that can only be given to you by a dead guy. What? Everything is always alright.

31:49Really? Everything? Really sucks the drama out of the moment when you say it, but... Everything.

32:03Well, I'll keep that in mind. Good. Now you better get a move on, kiddo. Time's not a-wasted. I don't know where to go at this point. I feel like I've been walking for days. This place loves to tell you a story. Let it tell you a story. What do you mean? A story like a foreboding island just barely visible on the horizon.

32:38Oh, come on. What is that place? Looks like a foreboding island just barely visible on the horizon. might be the place you're looking for. Well, what am I supposed to do? Swim there? No, you can't swim there. Remember, the water is what could happen. The shore is what's already happened. Well, you don't want to get lost in the sea of possibilities. Then what do I do? Hark! What's that I see there? A simple rowboat to navigate these troubled waters? A rowboat? Looks like it. I'm supposed to row all the way out to that island? You got something better to do? The astral plane sucks. It's not built for wusses, kiddo.

33:40It can't be any worse than Quilandus, I guess. It's good to see you, old man. Bon voyage!

33:51Leif! Yeah? Everything is always alright. Yeah.

34:13So, I'll be honest, I thought the whole four arms thing was a sort of racist demonization tactic. Nope. Four arms. But I'm assuming you don't have poisonous teeth, worship a death god, and can turn into a pool of black sludge on command. Those are definitely racist myths. But hey, if wishing made it so... Everyone is very calm. What do you mean? Virge, do you like it here in this weird little town? I do. Good. Because you're stuck here. Right. The world of the triad that we all know and love just disappeared in the blink of an eye. I heard the news. I can't imagine the chaos that's ensued on other planets.

35:09Here, it's like it hasn't even happened. Or, it's like... Like it was a good thing? Yes. Well, maybe to people on Raxias it is. this planet, this whole quadrant has been getting the shitty end of the triad ever since well, ever since my planet turned into a black hole you've been reporting on the triad your whole life you know what it's like out there for planets that get the short end of the stick everyone out there worries about the end of the world without asking themselves if the world deserved to exist in the first place. When an empire falls, there's always an after-party somewhere. People are going to suffer out there, Virge.

36:07It's the greatest crime ever committed. What's the crime before the crime? You know what else is strange? I'm sitting here in this bar with a vapian, and nobody's giving you dirty looks. In fact, everyone around here seems to really like you. Well, what's not to like?

36:34What happened to the triad, Virch? Let's have another drink. Hey, y 'all. Have a seat anywhere. We have not come to sit. We wish to speak to the one who is Stev. We have an urgent matter. We wish to discuss. Oh, wow. Okay. Steve. Yeah, what's up? These people. Greetings to you, Steve. My name is Goetz. And these are my collaborators, Ignatz and Bam Bam. It's nice to meet you all. So what can I do for you? We have come here to mark the beginning of the party. The party. It must be started. Yeah, indeed. I'm sorry? Steve, our interest in your establishment was aroused when it became known to us that you are seeking musical entertainment.

37:32Oh, you're musicians! Steph thinks we are musicians.

37:40We are beyond music. We are beyond music, Steph. You're not musicians. Steve, beyond music, we are those funky beats, and we have come to ensure that the party has promptly begun. We will show you our work. It shall astound you. Jawohl, please, Steve, direct us to the designated area for musical interpretations. You know, listen, we had a guy come in here with a tuba, and he wanted to play us some music, and we didn't mean to put the word out that we were looking for musicians. Oh, work frightens him. His fear is delicious. Steve, we have no wish to be an imposition. But if you will allow those funky beats to play at your establishment, the roof will be raised in an upwards direction.

38:37You'll raise the roof? Ja, that is correct. And I think that you will find that each track has been effectively raised to banger status. Yeah, okay. Um, maybe just one song? Steve believes he can only hear one song. Dev will soon learn that Das Funky Beats has precisely zero skips. Prepare yourself, Steve. Sure, okay. How's it going over there? Listen, I'm no slouch when it comes to lying my ass off, but I happen to be sitting across from the most sensitive bullshit detector in the triad. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. I mean, maybe you should just tell her. Tell her what? Everything?

39:29Why not? Oh, so I should tell her we're on a magical traveling mountain and we just popped in to bring the world crashing down on her head. And oh, by the way, Burt's, we're going to fuck off to another dimension in a month. Maybe don't put it exactly like that. She will never believe me. Believing it or not is her job. Telling her the truth is yours. Look, I know this isn't your Burt Burt, but she's still your friend. You'd want her to tell you the truth, right?

40:03Why do I want to tear your clothes off even more when you say the kind and wholesome things? I'm not sure, but we should really explore that with a mental health professional, don't you think? Should we? Or a bottle of wine. One of the two. Good evening. Guten Abend. And we are those funky beats. Funky beats. Please now groove to our song entitled Das Schwebe-Verrat. Fantastisch, the hoverbike. System check. Power force, activate. Magnetic field, stabilized. Lift, engaged. Hoverbike. Ready, let's ride.

41:01Chrome, Frame, Polished, Steel, Zero, Friction, Zero, Real, No, Contact, Air, Gap, Silent, Motion, Circuit, Mag, Helmet, On, Seatbelt, No Need, Turbo, Freedom, Turbo, Speed, Das Schwiebel, Verrat, The Hover, Bike, Das Schwiebel, Verrat, The Hover, Bike, Das Schwiebel, Verrat, The Hover, Bike, I enjoy my hover bike. I like to ride my hover bike. Magnetic levitation, linear flow, urban navigation with a steady glow. Above the asphalt, above the street, technology perfected, the circuit is complete. Das Schwebe verrat, the hover bike. All aboard, the hover bike. Hop astride, let's go, let's ride.

42:08Hover, hover, hover, hover, bike, bike, bike, bike. Hover, bike, hover, bike, hover, hover, bike, bike. Velocity 10, velocity 20. Above the speed of sound is velocity 20. Conveyance? Yes. Friction? No. Man, machine, on the go! Weave, glide, flow, slide, downshift, now drift, cool, ride! Das Schwiebe-Ferrad, the hoverbike!

42:43I enjoy my hoverbike, and we glide, glide, glide, glide, glide, glide, ride! Into the sunset, into the sky! Like a stride of bikes we say goodbye. Those funky beats we'll ride again and when at last we do, we'll bring an extra hoverbike exclusively for you.

43:28I'm going to say attractive Adrienne Barbeau Yeah Yeah? Yeah It's nice to feel like a woman can open a beer bottle with her teeth It is a very impressive jawline, isn't it? Frank What's up, Eldon? I'm monitoring the vital signs for Leif and Trinket, and I'm a bit concerned. What's wrong? Leif is fairly stable, but Trinket has an increased heart rate and a very chaotic activity in her brain. What should we do? I don't have a visual on them. How does she look? She's not levitating. Yeah, Eldon, she is not levitating. Yes, thank you. How is her breathing? She's breathing. Yeah, correct, Eldon. She is breathing.

44:20Yes, I'm sure she's breathing. is her breathing labored at all? Oh, uh, I don't think so. All right. Uh, Frank? Frank? Oh, shit. Eldon. Eldon, I think she's coming out of it. Uh, Trinket? Trinket, we're right here. Okay. I'm... Oh, this is hard. Uh, I'm in... two places at once right now. Hmm. It's hard. Hard to concentrate. Trinket, Eldon is concerned about your brain or something. I think that I might be in a little trouble. Trinket, what seems to be the problem? Hmm. Trinket? he was he was a little kid living in the forest his his parents lived without a lot of things but he'd he'd find bits and pieces from time to time broken coffee machine an abandoned toy an old lamp these these things would talk to him I can be something wonderful, they would say.

45:50Oh my God, what is she talking about? These are Leif's memories. She's trying to synthesize them somehow. Oh, but he had to hide it all. Hide it all from his parents at first. He knew how they would feel. They taught a child that the most beautiful part of him was ugly and wrong, a thing that should be hidden, but it got harder and harder to hide, even though he learned to be ashamed of it. Oh, so, so he did whatever young person does. This thing you say I should be ashamed of, I'll embrace it and I won't care what you'll say about it. But then, then his mother got sick. The things he made, they made her sick.

46:52He didn't know why. Nobody knew why. What is she talking about? Leif's mother suffered from a psychosomatic condition called electromagnetic hypersensitivity. In essence, she believed herself to be allergic to technology. It broke his heart. Oh, the one thing he was meant to do was hurting the only person he cared for. In his quietest moments, only to himself he would admit that he never wanted to leave home. He loved it there in the forest, but he couldn't hurt his mother anymore. Okay, Eldon, what are we supposed to do here? He said to himself, I'll leave home. And I promise never to never be at home.

47:51If I ever found another home, it would be betrayal. I'm getting a clearer picture now. The amount of neural activity she's experiencing. She should have been killed by a brain hemorrhage about an hour ago. but the unusual amount of spacefoot coursing through her system is able to repair the damage as it happens. However, even that is getting outstripped at this point. We need to somehow relieve the burden. I'm going to try something. What? Trinket! Trinket, can you hear me? June? Trinket, in middle school, Frank and I called you Bavmorda. Oh, Jesus, June! Bavmorda was the evil witch from the movie Willow, and that's what we called you.

48:34That was mean, Trinket. And a lot of people made fun of you in middle school, and we shouldn't have. And I've always felt bad about that, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. June, I don't think that's what Eldon is talking about. That is helping. Right? What? You're kidding me. I'm not sure why, but it's bringing some relief to her systems. Frankie, get in there. What do you mean, get in there? Come, come, say something. Say what? I don't know. Think of it like a hot air balloon. She's got too much shit in there, and we need to toss some things out of the basket. What do you got? Say something.

49:15No. What? I don't know what to say. Frank, I am going to give you noogies for the rest of your life. Say something. Okay, fine. Fine. Fine. Um, okay. drink it I like the tea oh come on fuck off just let me I like the tea I didn't want to like the tea I don't like that I like the tea. But thank you for the tea. And somehow that is helping. Holy shit. What is going on? I'm unsure, but apparently an emotional unburdening is helping either Trinket or the Space Foot. Try it again. What? Again? I don't have another one, do you? No, I didn't know I had the last one in me. She's still not out of the woods.

50:31Okay. I know what we're gonna do. Birch! What the fuck? June. All hands on deck at Trinkets Place. Move it! What's happening? Get everybody over here right now! Why? Birch! Get your alien bunts over here right now! Okay, fuck. What's going on? It's probably nothing. I'll be right back. Okay. Deidre. What's going on? We all need to get over to Trinkets. Doug, Steve, Celeste, let's go. What are we doing? Is everything okay? June wants us all over at Trinkets. Who's going to watch the bar? Oh, who cares? Come on. Did she say what's happening? She said all hands on deck. What did she mean by that?

51:09Maybe it's a surprise party. It doesn't feel like a surprise party. What's happening? What's wrong? Oh, this looks weird. We're all going to sit down in a circle and say nice things about Trinket. Oh, this is the emergency? This doesn't feel like an emergency. It's an emergency! Guys, just get in here, okay? Listen, everyone. Trinket is in some sort of fugue state brought on by the process she's taking Leif through. It's very taxing on her, and June has discovered that her symptoms can be relieved through... I don't even know what the word is. Guys, you know what I mean. Like, all the woo-woo shit that Trinket loves, we're gonna sit in a circle and lay it on her.

51:53Even Frank? No, I already went. Oh, we don't get to hear Franks! Franks! Um, could he do it again? Jesus, sit down! God damn it! Okay, who's going first? I'll totally go first. Go for it, Deirdre. Okay. Trinket. You were the first person I told that I was in love with Virge. And through the years, anytime I was feeling confused or emotional, I always found myself over here. and you always listened to me and then gave me a rock or some tea or something. But it wasn't about any of that. It was just that you listened to me and he would always believe every word that came out of my mouth. It's always been really important to me.

52:48Elden! I absolutely hate it, but it's working. Someone else! Uh, Trinket, you were always great to help me with my migraines. And you weren't judgy when it turned out I was working at a secret military base. And you were very supportive when I began dating a spiky mercenary. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that the one time your bike got stolen, it was by two guys I had just sold Beth to. I've always felt really bad about that. Okay, yeah, Steve, I don't think that's what we're looking for. No, that's working. Jesus Christ. Nice. Who's next? Baby, say something. Okay.

53:50Trinket.

53:53I deliberately don't learn anything about my planet. I try not to look back. I hang on to bits and pieces, but... Apparently, people like you were very important on my planet.

54:17there's some sort of saying about paths up a mountain Eldon the shaman and the scientist are two paths up the same mountain that's it anyway I get it now you made me understand that Trinket I think what all of us are trying to say is that when we come in here and see you, we never have to be anything other than ourselves. No matter who we are or how we're feeling, you always meet us where we are. I, personally, I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't think any of us do. Fuck yeah, guys! Guys! Woo! Good shit! Eldon! She appears to have stabilized.

55:23Bert Bert. Hi. I'm sure this looks... Oh, fuck me. I have no idea how this looks. What the fuck is he doing here? Shit. Oh, shit. What the fuck is this? I can explain. Can you? Honestly, not really. Oh, for fuck's sake. Well, at least there's no authorities for her to go to. I'm gonna go after her. I'll come with you.

55:56Who's the blue lady? Bert Bert! No, thank you. I know how it must look. Do you? I certainly don't know how it looks. I just walked in there and it was like a drum circle around a man who is literally king of the motherfuckers. What is he doing here? It's not him. Yes, it is. It kind of is. Honey. I'm trying to figure out why three galaxies just shit themselves, and I walk into your little shop with an E over there, and you're housing the most wanted man in the triad. Things are adding up. You have no idea how much they are not adding up. Did you have anything to do with the warp gates coming down?

56:30Yes or no? No. Yes. Deidre. No, we did. We did? We're going to tell Burt Bird the truth. Baby. Bert, Bert. My name is Deidre. I'm an Earthling. We all are, except for Verge. Oh, God. I mean, there's also Frank. What are we calling Frank these days? No idea. And I guess Trinket is not exactly a human anymore. Is this too much information up front? Definitely. Look, never mind that. This mountain is called Mountain Hood. It's a mountain from Earth. Every few months, it moves. Moves? Yes. It moves. It moves to a random time and place. Uh-huh. And a few months ago we showed up here, which is already complicated, but it was even more complicated because this time Leif was with us and he showed up randomly and he doesn't remember how.

57:20He's not the Leif from this universe, he's the Leif from another universe. It's so amazing that you think you're explaining something right now. And that is what I've learned from you. People are too complicated to ever be one thing. You are a criminal, Leif. And you're a hero. You're a genius. And you're also an idiot. You're my enemy. You're my friend. I hate you, Leif. And I love you. All those things are true. You spend a lot of time being torn between this guy and that guy and the other guy. I hope one day you realize it's just one guy. All those things are true. What the fuck was that? Hello, Bert Bert.

58:24My name is Eldon. I'm Virgis Tangle. Eldon is the name of Murphy Brown's house painter. Yes. You named me. I was given to Verge by you. What the fuck is happening? Bertbert, to you, we are an assemblage of very odd strangers. But to a few of us, you are a very important person. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to take the time to explain to you why. I'll present you with all of the corroborating evidence I can.

59:13Can I get you a drink?

59:30ibiоды Well. Hey. Hey. How are you feeling? Uh, that was wild. Right. Are you okay? It was touch and go there for a minute, but I'm going to be okay. Good. Did you find what you were looking for? I did.

1:00:05It wasn't what I was expecting. What did you learn?

1:00:16That everything's always all right. I like it. Wave? Would you happen to know what the word Ozpinhead means? Uh, Ozpinhead? Nope, that's a new one. Okay.

1:00:41Take some time. It'll be a while before you can talk about it. Yeah, it's... it's a lot. In the meantime, a friend of yours stopped by. A friend of mine? She's waiting outside. Let me play my favorite one. Eldon, play the one from Moog. Oh, hi. Oh, hi, Leif. How are you? Since you're still ignoring my messages, I thought I would just leave you with my last will and testament, since I am about to die. To you, I leave nothing but my scorn. I am a fucking prisoner awaiting fucking execution. In case you're wondering if that's a metaphor for something, it is not! I am a fucking prisoner of the fucking science priests of fucking Moog.

1:01:43What? They are about to goddamn kill me in some goddamn cleansing ceremony. So, if for some reason you have decided to stop being a dickhead and check your messages, this is me saying get me the fuck out of here. I am temporarily suspending the judgment of your criminal behavior. Temporarily! I am temporarily suspending it so that you can, in defiance of however many laws, break into the Temple of Enlightenment on Moog and save me from whatever killing machine I am headed towards. If you have a problem doing that, try pretending I am a huge pile of money and steal me. Maybe that'll help. I really hate that this may be the last message I ever send.

1:02:35I mean, it's good. Wait, what the fuck was I doing on Moog? We never asked, actually. But it was a special moment for me. It was where you killed your first bad guy, Bert Bert. Aw, that's sweet. It warms my heart. Burt's? Oh. Oh, hi. If it isn't my best friend in the whole wide world. What are you doing here? What are any of us doing here, Leif? Oh, shit. You were on Rax Prime. I was. Oh, shit. You couldn't have waited until I was on Niso? I'm assuming they let you know that I wasn't the biggest shithead in the triad. Yeah, they've informed me that you're a whole other shithead. Great. How much of that do you believe?

1:03:33I'm not sure how to answer that, Leif. Today I discovered there are only so many weird things someone can encounter on a given day. Eventually, things just start washing over you. But also, I'm a little drunk. And it has been a nice distraction from the fact that the entire system has gone dark and I'll never talk to my friends and family again. Regardless of any of this nonsense, I'm pretty sure I have you to blame for that. Don't I? It might not be dark for long. Oh, really? Why? You didn't tell her? No, I saved that for you. Okay. Sun's coming up. I'll explain on the way. On the way where? Ever seen a Mungo before?

1:04:20Excuse me?

1:04:29So the initial probe is just the start. The Truscans are working on another one right now. It should launch in about a week. That one will travel in the opposite direction of the first one. and GIGA is improving the comms array with every launch. Pretty soon, there should be a network of these probes throughout the whole triad. Ideally, there will always be one nearby. And real-time communication was always rare in the triad anyway. That solves the communication problem, but that's not the whole problem. The triad is going to figure out faster than light travel. It's just a matter of time. You're in the perfect place for it now.

1:05:11Before these probes, faster than light was a science problem. Now it's just an engineering problem. That's where you want to be. There's some great people out there who I think can crack it. And the problem is, the TEDs effectively banned FTL research because they didn't want people to have options to a warp gate. There's a game called ZomCon. All the rogue scientists working on FTL hang out on the game's message boards. Look for a guy named SignMyShovel, also Ban Mi Hung, the Slim Reaper, and Scooter, Worshipper of the Seven Cat Gods. They'll be the ones to crack it. I cannot wait for those names to be in the history books.

1:05:58I know. It's ridiculous. So this is your grand design for the triad? Did you have a better idea? Um, maybe a plan that doesn't involve this much rampant destruction? A just version of the triad wasn't impossible, Leif. People who want to burn things to the ground never have a plan for after the fires burn out. Look, this was always the argument with you and me. You were always trying to bend the triad toward justice, and I was always trying to break it. I broke it, Burtz. What are you going to do now? What do you expect me to do now? What is there to do? Look past the crisis and see the opportunity The opportunity, Jesus Christ I'm serious There's too much crisis to look past, Leif The whole triad is in crisis right now Alright This is going to sound a little crazy Oh, this, this one thing I was in another universe where the Teds were defeated.

1:07:11It was a long and bloody war, but they were defeated. The leader that defeated them? Bertoluna Restiana, Chancellor of the New Coalition.

1:07:27Fuck you, dude. I'm not kidding. It used to infuriate me how you would go through life as if you could complain to the manager And I'm sure it infuriated me that you had such a childish and reductive opinion of my life Well, that's actually exactly how you felt But the point I'm trying to make is There's no manager Be the manager If you wait around for someone else to do it, they're probably going to be the wrong one for the job. What if it's you? What if we... God damn it. What if we make the world? So you make a huge mess and I clean it up? Is that it? It's not my fault I excel at one and not the other.

1:08:24I'm gonna go feed this mongo now. Okay. His name is Lucian Thunderstruck. I'm not calling him that. Okay. Then what are you going to do? I think you're mostly full of shit, Leif. But only mostly full of shit. I can work with that.

1:08:52Hey! Hey, do you know what the word Ozpinhead means? That's not a word.

1:09:25I can't explain the very real way that I'm really okay. When emptiness fills up a room, I fill it with... These guys are good! Steve, who wanted these guys? Some arctic turtle! I like the live music, Steve. This was a good idea. Thanks, Trinket. You know, I play the theremin. Hey, good news, everyone. We have officially housed all of the aliens looking for a home as well as all of the people from the military base. So, everyone's got a roof over their head. Thank you, Doug. Yeah, nice work, Doug. Now, we just need to tell them that the entire mountain is going to move in a month. Oh. Oh. That's right.

1:10:17I'm going to need another list. Okay. Drinks for everybody. So, is Leif still hanging out with his blue friend? Yeah, they like to go round and round, those two. Hey, guys. There he is. Where's your friend, Leif? She had some thinking to do. I appreciate you all handling that situation while I was busy traversing the astral plane. It was fun. It was fun. Speaking of which, spill the beans, Leif. What did you see in your visions? Was Elvis there? Was Caesar there? Did you commune with the Celestial Wombat? What did the Celestial Wombat say, Leif? Was his voice like the sound of the wind? What the fuck are you two talking about?

1:11:10Yeah, guys, shut up. Leif? Does anyone know what the word Ozpinhead means? It's from The Wizard of Oz. It's from The Wizard of Oz. Oh, sorry. No, go ahead, Deidre. I have an unfair advantage. It's from The Wizard of Oz? The book, not the movie. Let me see if I can remember this. Oscar, Zoroaster, Fadrick, Isaac, Norman, Hinkle, Emmanuel, Ambrose Dix. Okay, yes. That was the full name of the wizard. He said it was funny that his initials spelled out Ospinhead? It's so crazy that you know that. Why is that funny?

1:11:59The wizard? Yeah. What? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. God damn it, Ava. Who's Ava? Leif, is there something you'd like to share with us? Yeah. But. Before all that, regardless of how I got here, I got dropped into the exact place that I needed to be. With all of you. You know, all of these places, these flying mountains and traveling diners, they're incredibly powerful. Maybe the most powerful things in any universe, but they're useless without people. you guys have just started this journey and I've been doing this for a really long time there's lots of adventure and danger and mystery but it's nothing compared to the people that I've met even the people I met that were me when I look back I think about the people

1:13:16Thanks for being my people for a while Ugh, God! Skip to the end! June! No, seriously, oh my God That's very nice, Leif But get to the good stuff, please Okay So there I was On the outskirts of Triangulum And I had just launched a doomsday device

1:13:48Those are very bad for you, you know I can't quit now, I look too cool Agreed How was your day? I fed a mungo and I met somebody named Tarvok Oh yeah What is that guy's deal? Honestly, I have no idea He is a very strange man Makes incredible knives, though

1:14:21So, you and I are friends? Yeah For the longest time, you were my only friend So, we're just a couple of friends out here talking Sure. So tell me, friend, what should I do with all of this? There was a point about 12 hours ago that I reached my maximum capacity for batshit insanity, and now I'm in a zen-like state, wondering what to do with it all.

1:15:06Well, we're here for another month or so. You should spend some time with us. It's going to be a busy month. You'll learn a lot. Somebody should tell this story. They should know about this place. They should know that places like this exist. Despite how cynical they may be, they should know that the universe, in its own strange way, smiles upon them. Verga, I've pinpointed the address. Why is it going to be a busy month? We're going to war. What? Leif will explain it. I need to make a call.

1:15:58Okay, Eldon. This will take a while. The message will have to hitch a ride on a probe, then get deposited at the right comms node in Triangulum. Then I've written protocols to have the message transmitted to the unlisted node. Okay. Speak whenever you're ready.

1:16:19Hmm.

1:16:23Hey, Virge. Don't bother trying to find me. I won't be here for long there's really no way to explain this message to you so I'm just going to talk and you're just going to listen and you can do what you like if you are still out there well the world probably just came down on your head but if there's anyone who can make it through all that, it's you.

1:17:10There was a point in my life when a friend reached out to me and told me there was something better out there. And it occurs to me that I can't just hope that happens to you too. I might have to be that voice for you. So here goes. one day after the dust settles probably sooner than you think you're going to be able to travel again and when you can you'll probably think to yourself all right well where is the next unstable unicorn. Instead of doing that, though, I think you should give something a try. On Earth, there's a mountain called Mount Hood, a nice big one, like the one you're supposed to be living on.

1:18:25And on that mountain is a strange little town called Hood's Pocket. And in that town is a bar, the kind you like. You should walk inside that bar. behind that bar might be a friendly face and you might look at that friendly face and see the rest of your life like I did

1:19:05you probably don't know that you deserve to be loved so I thought I'd call you and tell you that you do. Good luck out there. La Pusfeia.

1:19:59Okay, I'm about to bring up the sail. Are you ready? Virg? I'm going to be honest with you. I'm freaking out right now. What? I am. Because we're on a boat? I think so. Virg. I know. That's ridiculous. I know that. Are you... Are you scared of the water? Maybe. No. And you didn't know this about yourself? Obviously not. You fly spaceships around. Correct. Yep. This is a small sailboat on a very, very shallow lake. I'm not saying it makes any sense. Okay. Okay. I would be concerned for you, but it is way too adorable. Deidre. Come here.

1:21:08I don't think I can move. Okay, well, just pretend that the six-foot-deep water is the void of space, and you'll feel much safer. Very, very fucking funny. Come here. Come sit between my legs. Oh, fucking hell. You can do it. Shh. Shh. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Oh, fuck.

1:21:42There you go. Oh, that felt like a million, million miles. You are now safe. And what happens next? Next, I'm going to pull this rope, and that will bring up the sail. And then the wind will pick up, and it will carry us across the water. and even though the wind is just taking this tiny sailboat across a small lake you're going to feel free. Freer than you've ever felt. You are going to feel like you can go anywhere. It's just you and the wind and the sky. Are you ready? I'm ready. Here we go.

1:22:55Here we go. This is Bert Bert, broadcasting on The Undersignal. Theoretically. For the last month, I have been spending time with the people of Hood's Pocket, just a couple of hours outside of Raxias, and today is a big day for them. Today is a big day for them for a totally ridiculous reason. Today, they are going to disappear. You heard me. Poof, listeners. The people of Hood's Pocket claim that their mountain moves. Every few months, the mountain disappears and reappears out there somewhere in time and space. Now, my listeners, you are probably thinking to yourself, Burt Burt, that sounds insane.

1:23:41And you would be correct. It is fucking nuts, listeners. And yet, here your dutiful reporter is, standing here at the base of the mountain with a large crowd, while we all wait for it to disappear. I've been polling the crowd here, and the percentage of people who actually believe the mountain is going to disappear is exactly zero. But that hasn't stopped them from turning it into a little community event. They are selling t-shirts. You can even get a fun cocktail served in a commemorative mountain-shaped cup, which I am absolutely not drinking from right now because that would be journalistic malpractice.

1:24:22So, what am I doing here? What am I doing here, listeners? Well, I guess my curiosity got the better of me. I'm a logical person. I let my intellect rule my actions. I'm not prone to superstition. But there is this one thing. The mountain that they all claim is about to zip away into the cosmos, it doesn't appear on any topographical maps. Weird, right? I'm no geologist, but I'm pretty sure that mountains don't just show up. And then, added to that, are the people who live there. They are very strange people. Somehow all earthlings, except for one. And, well, they're very kind, is what they are.

1:25:10Definitely not your typical residence of Rax Prime. Over the past month, I have collected quite a few stories about these people that I will definitely report out to you all, and the off chance that this mountain disappears in a few seconds. But I'm not actually broadcasting right now to talk to you about mountains that will almost surely not disappear, or the odd people who live on this definitely not disappearing mountain. I am here talking to you because the world ended. For all of us. The world that we depended on for generations disappeared in the span of just a few days, leaving us all out here in the darkness.

1:25:54And what I'm sure is beginning all over the triad is the slow and near-impossible project of putting it all back together again. How do we do that? Where do we start? well as i said for the past month i have been hanging out in a small town in the mountains it's a pretty ridiculous place their mayor is a dog but they care for each other they're all very different everyone's got a fun eccentricity but they seem to wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night genuinely giving a shit about each other. That part shouldn't be shocking, but it is. It's almost enough to melt this reporter's cold, cold heart, and I plan on taking that with me as a lesson as we try and rebuild our world.

1:26:52Or maybe build it for the first time. So, I'm a little bit inspired by this tiny town. Ugh, if only they weren't all terminally insane people who thought they lived on a traveling mountain. Oh, the countdown has begun. Let's watch this nonsense.

1:27:24Get the fuck out of here!

1:28:12Eldon, how much time? 45 seconds out. Okay, everyone, this is it. Stick to the plan, and we should be fine. We're as ready as we can be, Leaf. This is fucking insane. Yes, it most definitely is.

1:28:43Holy shit!

1:29:02Find a common frequency. I have it. Go. Is anyone out there? It's Leif. Can you hear me?

1:29:14Show up any time, dick.

1:29:38Welcome to the Horizon is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Pronghorn, Billy, Bert Bert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Mariami Getsadze, the real Richard Castle, not that Nathan guy, Chris, Corey Feldman, realtor, writer, developer, dad, never an 80s actor. Rachel, Carter Ray Nicolay, The Cosmic Candyman, Ziggy, Wren, and Sarah, Tim Nacy, Seawolf, The Everlasting, Lost Star, Ashley Pellures, Garrett, Hildegard, Jildegard, Isle of Violet, Isle of Zaya. X, not gonna give it to you. X gonna tell you it comes from within. You had it in you the whole time. Loki, Michelle Knappick, Riley Beale, Justin, Matthew Goodson, Coop Doop, Eric, last name redacted, Cinder Husky, Jupiter's intergalactic circus train, in space, Emblem of the Cosmos, Thino Fishon, a mechanic who would like to formally challenge Leif to a parking lot fistfight over questionable engineering, Tina Verdon, Honey Cooper, Joe definitely didn't forget about you, August, Emma, I am the lizard frantically firing flechette guns, Joe, please insert Finley's version of A-Bear.

1:30:53A-Bear! Skullacy, Tarnished Knight, Hashim the Terrorist, and Sikeli the Kiwi. A-Val, Amanda and Adam wonder if Joe has seen Deez. Anders apologizes for a lack of creativity. Bourbon on Ice with Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty. Chumbo Wumbo, Dana, Flacco aka Johnny R the Disco Spider. Ernest Boobingway, Frank D1, Goth Lafe, Grace B, Hazardous Fish, I forgot my name again, I'm Lana Bananas, and I feel like my poor little mind is being devoured by piranhas, for I'm Lana Bananas. I, Joe Fisher, being of sound mind and acting of my own free will, do hereby confess that I am the Zodiac Killer. Ivy DeBozo, the trans clown girl with boobaloons, Jason Seagraves, Jesse the Dragon Rider, Krista Drinkard, La Oveja Negra, Leaf Fucker69420, Don't Tariff Me Bro, Lana Anzul Fed Your Neopets, Momo Nukiki, Mr.

1:31:55Bleese, Podcast Junkie, Princess Lea Bea Bea Bea Fananana Fofaya, Sandwich Time, Eat Your Breakfast First, Shady Canary, Space Wives Are Too Hot, Stumpy Chef Steve Who Always Misses His Name, Hard of hearing he is. That one unlucky penny. The 206 Project. The goblins have taken over the deep freeze. The big moose has resorted to degeneracy. Winky face. Theo the Cat's horrible war crimes. Trev Brax. University of Wallumalu. Chapter of Ada Beta Pi. Alphonse Baron of the Gingerbread Woods. Commander of Great Wobble. High Steward of the Brick Separator. Member of the Ancient Brick Collegium. Not so much another thing.

1:32:36Just still. Chris from Tacoma. Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire reminds you to remove the ham from your purse before you sleep tonight. Please, please, please, Joe Fisher, give me a way to read the rest of your plays. I will pay handsomely and will not stop bugging you about this. Warm regards, doozer. And here were forests ancient as the hills, enfolding sunny spots of greenery. Lady Sarah Perr, Whisker Veil. Magpie Cat wants to know why the pandas named their trench coat Bethany. Melanie Tulane, Molly Winter. Often wrong Dan says free Palestine, fuck ice, and thank you Joe. Pago has some reservations about Joe's Italian, so he kindly offers to be his tutor.

1:33:18We'll have one class each episode. Christine, Rebecca, and Beta, the three sisters of Arlington Heights. Andy Lynn, the Mucklewayne's missing kid. Lord Robert Otardis hopes to bump into Recy Pontiff at hashtag Li Who. Cassini Z0-3, aka that trans robot girl Zoey, Stringing from my space station chronically sleepy months to adopt leave as her dad. Dance break! Insta-free eyes in the dark when they're cleavin' You've worked gold from the start Still need it, lucid dreaming Be all night, know it's all that I'm seeing stuff Ala Maddie, Earthwitch, now new and improved since she fixed her payment method on Patreon.

1:34:05Chibs1012, Daryl Schnell, Fiora Meow, Jinda Fluid Mothman, Gorgon Lightfoot, Hannah Mullins, Jester3of5, Kate, Kyle Tomaszewski, Lindsay Garfield, Lucy Henline. Sisters Janet and Melissa with an A instead of an E from Avon Park Love Midnight Burger. Matthew Epler, Dread Pirate Silly Siben, Nathaniel Lane, Oh Snails 3. Peru's perusing platonic planetary pussy pleasure. Peanut Hamper, the Rhythm Nation's Hampers. Sarah Capecchi, Silky. Hu hu hu ka hu huetishkor has arrived. Student in a cave. The thing whose name sounds like Witch of Ten Thousand Lakes, but is not. The Tiger, he destroyed his cage.

1:34:50Yes, yes, the tiger is out. Tony Tony Chopper the Dog. Zebulon's extensive collection of yodeling. Shiza Manelli. Amaze, amaze, amaze. Bakus, call Jay Harlow for Edgy Steve's Spacefoot hookup. Cliff vanishes, the phantom vibrarian. Cory and Stephanie say hello. At my dust, Gus. Hold these anchovies. Indecisive Nicks, it's Bangaranga time. June and April's kid Francesca May, aka Frankie May. Kashak the Lizard Wizard. Lila the Banjo playing Fox. Persephone, sayonara you weeaboshits. I'm going broke. Shane Robertson, Simon and Skylar Johnson, the Wild Thistle and the Interstellar Blueberry, the tortured accounting department.

1:35:37What kind of bananas is that to put into a paper shredder? His air hose broke. Boomhauer weapons, replica squirt guns, the perfect gift for your little bastards. Boomhauer weapons, get them started young. The planet Gubrius awakes from their endless party to find that all the warp gates have stopped working. It is a strange and scary new era for the triad, but with community, the Goobrians and everyone else will endure. Wilbur, you know, with all the W's and the horse named Potoo, was looking for a red now, but has been distracted by a rather fetching blue one. The Captain Calc and Aranimation, Julian the Unready, Kaiju Sommelier's All-You-Can-Eat Samurai Ghost Crab Buffet, free parking with validation.

1:36:25That other cheap con guy is right. Go enjoy any cheap con. They're all great. With no warp gates, Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, are newly located on Trusk for all your logistics needs. Rachel Krempa just got a new car and named it Gloria. Samantha, inspired by Verge and the safety I feel with them. Skeptic Eddie, the humble litter box attendant. Slackergirlbooks.com, and that's girl with a U. So We Made It says, happy birthday, Steven. Ladies, in 1915, rich white men at Gillette aggressively shamed women into shaving. Body hair serves important biological functions. It's okay, just Bethany my name once, then Bethany a lot more Bethany's.

1:37:06Who would name their kid Joe Fisher anyway? Would you, could you watch the anime lesbian musical masterpiece review Starlight with a mouse? Post-coitus cuddles make life worth living. Fada and da fuzz. I have a healthy fear of furries. Tracy Nellig. Big Daddy Hankerton. Flapp the Flabbergasted. Nanique of the Not Quite North and Schrodinger's Duck. Jellybean and Jayfish. Eric Keevy. Ethan Horvath. Petra Peaches. Space Arsonist. Resonant Soundworks. Diane Simmons. John Gormanshire. James Connolly. They call me Brent. They call me Brickly. They call me Mimi. I work with kids, they can't say Brittany.

1:37:47Paul Mitchell, it's 10 p.m., do you know where your children are? Retro Punk, Mickey Smith, Maria Hearing, LeClusie of Borg, Non-binary Fugosilvit, The Love Wizard, Rombo Bombo, Croc the Propagator, Xavier Dasher, Beans McBamph, Three Pandas in a Trenchcoat Named Bethany, U.S. Marshal Stacy, Jemaine Masters, Blind Eyrasta, Booyah Hippie, Iron Foley, Brandy Gunter, Jonathan Johnson, Grandma Floozy, The Slim Reaper, Elisa Kelly, The Femboy Catboy Behind Casper welcomes you to Behind Casperville, a town of cat people held in a pocket dimension behind Casper. Nikki Shade, Intergalactic Transdimensional Monte Cristo Pirate.

1:38:31This patron can't come to the phone right now. Please try again later. Sometimes I wonder if Pizza thinks about me too. On the off track. P-Lander Z, Mad Tiger, Mad Tiger, Get Well Soon, Transgressive Party, Cuddly Kraken, Shantae, Umquam, Ruthie Loves Her Girlfriend So Dearly, To Polar Cat, and Introducing Recy Pontiff as the 84th Doctor. Dr. Lattice Trash Angel Absolutely Covered in Sawdust because she was granted a table saw. CJ the Future Knot says, Stay Fresh Cheese Bags. Reluctant Dave and his Dairy Queen. Aoife Lilith will live on the radio waves evermore. Intergalactic trans-dimensional Monte Cristo pirate.

1:39:13Njord Flanders proprietor of the Hood's Pocket leftorium. Jonah the gay uncle. Smedley P. Snodgrass III, but please, for the love of God and all that is holy.

1:39:29Call me Smedley. Chekhov's forklift lifts endless endless forklift. Demonic narwhal. Randy's amigo. A fan of Casper's character development. Kathy B, Rachel Neal, Moses Ramirez, CJ, Dominic Alvord, Chris, Megan A. Coppock, The Creature, Rusty Satellite, Alkin White Owl, Burger Corps, His Royal Highness Prince Puppenheimer McStinkerpants, heir to the three-ply empire. Owen the orgasmic ostrich from Oldham. Bad Egg. Bran with the pants that dance. June is my spirit animal. Maple and Cronus. Benign Alien. Dilbert Weed. Medley71. Reluctant Dave. Scarlet Leopard. Bebo is not wrong, they are just waiting until they are right.

1:40:16Memzie. Spitboy the spit guy, he spits. Demon Knight 016. Brookie, aka Dances with Cats. The sorcerer Sanguine says brain demons is an anagram of Brandon is me. Gabriel Strife is brought to you by Charlotte Brown, Gary Gygax, and the number 42. Gabriella, the Jasmick one. A plus K. Gory and Stephanie celebrate 20 years of marriage. Sidron, dammit Derek, David Kiesler of the Cornville Kieslers. In IAD. Happily divorced Heather looking for a lady lover. I want a clockwork mungo. Just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan. Kashak the Lizard Wizard casts Djibouti Gate. Mission Control banned me from fucking aliens.

1:40:58Patty the Ginger and his Bethany-slaying Ginger Army. Positive Buzz Network. Storyteller. USS Shag at Sea. Volpe the Space Fox is overjoyed hearing their name pronounced correctly on the first try. Who do you think you are? I am! Zack the Wayfaring Cryptozoologist. Cause it don't change my number. Kate 675309. Bunches McGinty and her pack of rescued demon dogs. B. Elzebub, Lucy Fur, and Abby Normal, if you want to know. Squeaky Squeakerton squeaks Von Squeakerson III, even though he's the first and only, aka Fake Noodle. All the mongos in the triad go... Dr. Punkusher Esquire has so many flowers, he's giving them away down at your local record store.

1:41:44Mental Hinge. Chef Gal Val was on hiatus for a while and is currently playing catch-up. Stay tuned. Did somebody order the Chaos Goblin Supreme hold the anchovies? No, seriously, hold this bag of anchovies. It's really heavy. Sammy Lockalee and Sir Dr. Werther P. Worthington. The intergalactic house of cats demand a free Palestine. Can I have Zandria but just get Joe to go for as long as he can on the R? Sure. Zandria. A plus Douglas, Alexica Habanera, Alondra, Cicada the Multiversal Bug God, Confused Dog, Early Morning Clouds, Eddie Eichmann, Chaotic Bananas in Four Low, Talon Lawson, Kirion the Asteroid Wrangler, Kyle Kaleesh, Leo, John316, boy!

1:42:34Mother Grimm, Nico Lund, QWERTY, Tall, Tired, and Nerdy, That Wacky Aunt, The Mysterious Woman, The 206 Project, Podge Art, Dem, Leif's Brilliant But Dyslexic Little Brother, Dois the Truskin Union Rep, Fenwick, Kitty Pockets, Molly Winter, My Father the Milkman, Pinstrike Algorithm, Strikes, Rocky the Used Tardis, Sales Iridian, Shelby Welby Lives Forever, The Electric Tuna and Lady Fish in their fishdom, Theo at Home, Two Sheep Toys, We've been trying to contact you regarding your time traveling dimension spanning diners extended warranty. It's not rocket surgery. Biro the motherfucking dragon of the Shreveport the motherfucking dragons.

1:43:16Cheap con, the real cheap con, accept no imitations. Actually, never mind. Go ahead and accept other cheap cons. I'm sure they're good folks. Coco Yumi can only think of them as hot pockets. But Jolanth, Leif's one true love, and the bride Leif left at the altar. Dot, dot, dot. Need I say more? Kitty Pockets, Ron and Misty Dawn, two souls just trying to order night breakfast in the wrong time, space, and dimension. Nyx Minx, Kelso the Great, Inayad, Dave Clark, Teagan Rose, Michelle Smith, Andrea Beagle, Burden by Noon, Cuddles the Cat, Zar Ptolemy, Morsa F. Jones, Mystics of Kadun, Professor Tuesday, Dr.

1:43:57Ava Maddox, Is Our Cat, H.E. Double Hockey Sticks, The Existential Bean, Mama Beth and Her Wheel Babies, Running the Giant Wheel, Cyrano Johnson, Troy Pugsley, Andrew Payer, Goth Squatch, Quellor the Liberator, Big J Rock, Stuart Lynn, Orb, Logan Fullerton, Cool Vagovno, Ronda Menard, Dear Ted Empire, Your Code Sucks, Have a Sandwich Needs to Be a T-Shirt as an Anti-AI Battle Cry, Ava's Dying Pet Cactus, Dark Dream 95, Socialist Queers for Jesus, Taku, DJ, Harrison Sally, Spooky904, GART!

1:45:03Chrisara, Fernando Alacuzzi, Wad of Gore, Not That Keith, Jordan Lawley, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Skeksis, Royal Punk, Trisha Schaefer Says, Ew, David, That Is Not A Taco. Zico, Udon96, Ren the No, Latimer Lovelock of the Lacy Lady's Lovely Luxuries, Jizum Crow and the Holy Cow, Tanya Fisher, Rainbow Goth Unicorn, Rango Corn, Our Lady of Crab Walking, Known, Nomad, The Human, Space Viking, Celestial Crow, Gavin Dees, Gavin Sailor, Neve to Princess and her Aunt Seuss Honey and Ember, Googles Galad, The Forgotten Storyteller, Mr. Wudu, Chris with a K, Slangwort, Honey Badger in a Trenchcoat doing crimes, Jay Cable, Cranky Old Organist, Jarrett Kosu, Leon Sporkfire, Pastor Jen Jensen, The Dick Wizard, Noise Squared, Ginger Bear's Honey Bunny, and their sidekick Wicklow, the Mount Hood Tory Gate, Mrs.

1:46:03Cashew, Julia Goulia of the Shreveport Goulias, Stoner Pubby, Inateb thought that they could spy in the Bethany War by spelling their name backwards, but it isn't fooling anyone, everyone. Sub-Arctic Turtle, Dock U018, Mark Kayab-Yab, Namir, Sandalwood Mountain, East Coast Branch, Christy the Chaos Coordinator, Joshua Baker, Grant Blackburn, The Bean Count Bandit, a Margin Mage. Silent J, Geo. Buzz Balab, the Boom Guy. Boom! K-Man, Mimosa, David O 'Banion. The Phantom of the Uxbridge Music Hall. Carmen L7, Dizzy Miss Lizzie, Mostly Harmless Alien. Logic Ledger, Kayla Soom, right behind you. Gonzalo Martins, World's Largest Ball of String.

1:46:49Bucky Chipmunk Reminds You That You Lost the Game. Hestodin Neprathum. Flashcards, nine. Yeah, the number nine. A resting place for Weary Beans, Shane Hopkins, Juniperb with the Backwards Knees, Eve in the Between Hour, Two-Faced Janice, Slight Burn, Scooter, Worshipper of the Seven Cat Gods, The Amethyst Dragon with Tiger Eyes, Martell McKinney, Ice Queen, Laser Girl and the Nurse, Where Are Our Ores, Catty B, Go Ask Alice, Wes Kester Saves the World, Valen's three cats stacked atop each other wielding a plasma gun. Jeffrey, Purple Nurple Nullifier. JP the Pizza Boss. Reaper's Past. Late Indeed Again.

1:47:31Rex, Cricket, and Frankie. Brigitte, Spadius, Squiddy. The Frosthunt Scientific Collective. Two of us have PhDs and the third has memorized all of Ava's dialogue. Champagne Supernova. 11-letter Christopher. Antonia Ortiz, A Block of Ice. Huitlacoche is corn smut but classier. Ren the Crescent, Jane Doe, Lord Drez, Drakir, Blood Butler, Sandalwood Mountain North, Cryptic Amorphous, About 45 Degrees, Mandy, Big Cat Makes Kitten Go Purr, Ted Ted and Teddy, Hi Bruce, enjoy your walk through them all, Parker Berry, don't actually say this part of my name, just say my name please, Dr. LL, your Jamaican fan, says Wagwan, Tula Blue and 142 Boogaloo, Pistol Pete and Death Lotion Debbie Trencher, That One Dude Who Likes Tacos Mark the list to name Loser The Male Escort Lady Bethany, aka Mrs.

1:48:27Turkey Spit Junior Barding, The Father of Lucas Ava Maddox's Ashtray Adore-Bees, Vera Torkelson Bones, Lizard Breath, and The Snot Rocket Would Love a Space Burger Andrea Rose, Samantha Oram Caden Suda, Bat Loves Dragon Tommy Johnson, Unhip Fern Noodles by Godzilla Ralph Capone, Corey83, Blues, Liz wants Leif to build her a plane, Dude named Blake, John Caleb Williams, Yontalius, Kian, an Eel exchange student from Midst, Dabberti last name, Rattrick, Ricklin, like Rich Land but without the D, Dyer, All Bethany's must do the hustle, Jordy Ladbrad, Natasha without Boris, Frost and Alice, Lobster Possum, Malort Boy, Jinx the Cat would like to offer you biscuits.

1:49:15Have a zesty day. Megan, Malcolm Edwards, Spend My Money Irresponsibly, Steven Drop, Dana Thanielson, Son of Day Nathaniel, or Danny for short, Chris Eaton, Cross Stitcher Who Loves the Hobby and Time Travel, Funchbrunglin, Nash Likes Apples, Pneumatic Yeti, The Eldritch Skyphozoa, Wyatt Fryhover, Paul, James Bell, Dave Davison, Broom Goddess, Ricky Burnett, That New Guy, Da Savage Indian, Rad Boy, Jules Weeks, Calf, the generous patient Rose, John Wilkes Booth's freedom-loving horse, aka Jay Willikers, Neckbone his imperial dudeness, oh hey, it's Jay, Grimm, off the internet wants Harriet to know he loves her, Titan King 707, Rich Francis, Burger Kaspaspa, no relation, Jedi Shaolin, Smart Alec the Great, Gas Station Cryptid, Deus Kashuk, Bird Bird the Bird's Bird, Papa Goose, sometimes I do feel like a plastic bag.

1:50:11Amanda Bills, Misty Word Power, Casper's Danish Moose, Flacco aka Johnny R, the Disco Spider, Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Leaf, Chapter 2, The Ted Slayer Unchained, Vicki Hebert, Pike Daniels, The Cosmic Whale, Zansatsu, Mr. and Mrs. Van Limberlost, Murdoch Wang, Caterpillar Farmer, Chimera, Don Moat, the space trucker Chadwick Coden Doyle III, Jody Green, Monster Senshi. Michael Peters, political knitter. Seasonal Sasquatch silently seeks secret society, so special souls softly sing sweet songs, smartly stirring strong stories. Physicist. Brendan Shoneman. I divided by zero and now I'm undefined.

1:50:50Ah! Leif, the horse is here. Mag Tremor. Rod Stewart, the sailor slayer. James We Met, the listless enjoyer. Miss Maxine. Boy got them Honka-Honkers, Kevin O'Malley, Invisible Gurria, The Mrs. Poland, Zemaniac, Hop Loves a Thugbot Named Francis, Pam the Infinite, And Thou, Curiosity Is Eating Your Bones, Revolutionary Inclined Ocelot, Matt Haugler, Andrew Bear, Marius De Joa, Butterfly Fox, Riot the Tranny, The Fish Did Not Acknowledge Her, Irma the Llama, 27 Keep It Tight, Chip, Gloria's Right hand jack-in-the-box man. J-a-a-a-din. Grim Knight. Pike Daniels the Whale. Anthoseles Bethany Maximus, Lord of Kingwood, Texas.

1:51:34Ragnar Jensen. Addison Weirdo Wagner. Araman 0305. Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for night breakfast. Titus Kosloff. Ashes of a burnt-out laif. I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind. Brandon AR equals Thor. I love you all, never forget that, especially in trials and Labuza's voice brightens my day. The intergalactic house of cats demand a free Palestine. Electromancer, Chekhov's space cannon, Corey Sensus, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a gin, Red and Dusty with his garden goddess, Shelby Morrison, Mystic Monster for Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Rave Hands Mally, G-Wing, It is Sparks, Lost Girl Lou, Chris B, Middle American Penguin, Shanna Welch, Crocheted Cosmos, Andy the Celestial Penguin, Jackie Orion, Bo Nunley, Ariana Castillo, the tall deer that portends great change, Lita Mettinger, Marco, friend, as in your best, Lime Ghost, M, Icky Blurgs, Jay the Irascible, the Magic Committee, Committee of Anything Magical, Ian Full, 345 uneducated swine learning to swing dance, Nova the fuck accountant is definitely not Not a Tangle, One Intergalactic Year with Big Potato 99, AKA The Rat Lady, AKA Bumblebee, AKA AK-47, Kai, Just a Little Guy, Ender Wright, Mark Nazawaritz, Xenia, The Capturer of Light, Theoretical Chemist, Chris Loves to Read, Katie Michalik, Greg Andrews Lyons, In Memory of Jason Reese, Get Your Butt Fingered, That Girl Gracie, Magnus Von Kaffenheim, Saucy Lil' Beast, Drubert, Captain of the SS Beefy Tits, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Son, Jennifer Myers, Lady Lazarus, Donnie Darko, Tim Shin, Caitlin and CT's Never Ending Podcast Adventures, Whisper Dan, Mad Maddox, Kyo the Panda Puppy Forklift Operator, Ruby Cherries, Nick Faye, Buttholan, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Penelope, Ring to the Motas, The Leathermans, Jen Before, Ander Ho, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmull, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapiza, Dimension Spanning Time Traveling Little Guy, Iono, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr.

1:53:46Put It On 06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the Podcast Lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, damn glad to meet you, Malcolm Flynn, Samuel Lee, Josetron Prime, Oh My God I Forgot to Change My Name from Nicholas Beckler to Something More Cheeky and Fun, Arwen the Freer Throatgoat666 I am your father Addie Slauson Inconceivable Kai Redrum916 Nick Waycaster Gotham still fucked up Batman really ain't doing shit when you think about it No Good Monk Rye Yes, like the bread Sarman Sayed Jonald Grimbus Matt Knight Bushager Gavin Morey Damn Eitri Andromeda Stephen the Choi Gloria's Authentic Earth Coffee Gabriel T Can someone find me the Parmesan?

1:54:59I Did This For Fun. Hello Ernesto! Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Lafe, Chapter One, Loaf Tracks Retires. The Dishonorable Prodigal Ilum, Sculliver, Sam and Shane, Ahsoka Likes Hugs, Going Anonymous, Vee, Ma Dukes, Ooh Chickadee, Dango Dale, Estee, Not the Website. At every moment in every corner of every possible world there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jao Paolo Lemos, Odd Keep, The Sentient Lighthouse, The Faceless Old Bethany Who Secretly Lives in your home. Dee Shane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer Doggo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Brisket, It's Official, They're Called Thigronies, Kevin Winans, Marlon C, Just Whelmed, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire, Lycan Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnese West, Knox, Lisa Liu, Emmett Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emory and Lano, James Miles, Brown Coats Love the Diner, House Chaos of the Critter Cacophony, Max, Nia, Ivonne, and Mark will see you at 6.

1:56:01Open, open, open. No, wait, never mind. Just Mark. And we make the world. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Gaia Turtle, Wayne Barahona, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine Are Free, Pluto Crow, Nissy's Mom, PokeSplort, Whiskey Rebellion, and Gen Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency, Altreon, Shibu, and Griff, Slim Nandy, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Hornetti, Bally and Fair has retired and now raises herds of mungos. Hood's pocket protector. The artist formerly known as Unpaid Intern would like to congratulate Heather on her divorce and is thinking of getting one herself. Valkyrie Storm, Patricia Who's Always Late But Somehow On Time, DC Squirrel, Kyle the Interstellar Highwomen, Shelley Act on the Verge, Gale Friend, Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Crocogator, Ringleader Volt, Jazz Punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Renee N, Katarina de la Playa, RIP Eloise Waffles, The Floof Wrangler, Aki the Space Druid, Phantom Land, TTRPG Dice, Kate Toploom, Your Local Blacksmith, Jason, HVAC Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr the Weffer Montgomery Foxworth, Mary Face, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Glorious Forgotten Ford Vestiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-ish, The Ghost of Dave Brockie, The Judah, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Fry Lord, Gravity's Optional but Fry's Aren't, CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Evil the Cat, Stephen Raymer, J.

1:57:44Carp Fishman, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, A Flock of Gray Horses from the Top of a Sycamore, Lilac Morcella, Your Tig Old Bitty Yeen Milf Majesty, Temporal Hashbrown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, Jamie the OG Happy Hippie, Rainy, Reuben Eden, The Shreveport Bohannans, C.C. the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury Sasquatch Loads Chekhov's Gun and Rides to Join Bethany's Army, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, Moosey, Hood's Pocket Gear and Sprocket Local Repair Cafe, Postmaster General Kwan Sent Me, Blake Basmagian, Nitwit14, Royaled Way Too Harshly, DJ Johnny B, The Klopman Diamond, Marco Montano, No Longer Doing a Bit, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, Unproductive Banana, Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, Bex823, Auntie Cryptid, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, In the Hot Seat, Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Master Oogway, Barry, Dilly is Dallying, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto, Slider, Malachi, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana, Physic the Good Bush, definitely not one of the bad bushes, funding rebel Bethany's to overthrow the duly elected Bethany's, Hexadecimal Bethany is non-binary, Vapis 10's Big Black Gaping Hole, Bruce, Jessica Gagoma, Torical, Jenny the Bear, agurrr.

1:59:14Sardine Thorne, treach, Josie Jones, Mr. Fibble is very cross, haute potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Burt Burt's caboose until its end lists all the way down. Blind Time Traveler Convention Date, LA Woman, The Phoenix Rising, New Name, God, no, not him, Jeff Andrew, sure, Jeff Andrew, Cup of Noodles, Schmizzy Two-Shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Justin Smolin, Riku31, Craig Dundee, New Type Without a Gundam, Astral Sea, Ickle Me Pickle Me Tickle Me Too, Witch Loud the Cartoonist, Guy With the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagel Knife, Imelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan K, Nate, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves Midi, Brian Pasley, Suwubasa, the blue Chernobyl dog enjoyer, Grena, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Satsuma, Dr.

2:00:08Jones, Icy Axe, Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes, Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Cassade, Norwin Murgler, Joe Cuppa, Dogma Mom, Weeby Choppin' Broccoli, Bluetoon, A Feisty Ass Chickadee, Poultry Landmine, The Scrappy Poet, Jenny the Cryptid Paladin, Maverick Artist, Shit It Was A Mimic, Basil In Their Tea, Waiting To Gossip With David, Ainsley Ayaayayayayay, Angnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovelybead, Zoe, Professor Freda, Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson Twote, Still Trapped But I've Stopped Asking Why, The Freezer Is, I Am, We Chill, Son of Defarge, Wisco Teach, Give Peas A Chance, Samalama Ding Dong, Ricardo Galamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC.

2:00:55Hashtag we weave them of gossamer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck. Medium rare extra toasted bun. Saucy Caesar. Belt. Aspen is a Verge fanboy. Ava's favorite My Little Pony pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim gym. Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger tummy time chapter. Nathaniel Lee Industries. Lord Entropy. Bok Bok Motherfucker. The Fae Wanderer. Everybody's favorite clown Splotchy. Kosher Steak. Flo Rida, Alyssa's Shiny Pants, Gondor calls for aid, Arnold Rumspringa, The Demise of the Temple of Bethany's, Alan Berglund says, Hi Mom, Rin the No, Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javi De Niro, Big Chunk, Gadides, Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Jilly Bean, Benjamin, Not Franklin, Tracy Baby, Leia, A Singular Nightbird, Bethany in a Greenfield, A-E-I-O-U-Y and W, Bumblefay, Mr.

2:01:59Epsilon, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Robert W, Brielzebub, Krezimira, Jessa Loren, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Dulio, The Brew Crew Family, Bert Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse, Jeffrey George, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me Bro, Oopsie, Evelyn, Grimlor, Ginny Waboom, Errant Popsicle Stick, M Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spider's Mom, Bubble Butt Bethany Has Banana Breath, Llama Fresh, Jare the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Sad Little Earth Monkey, Revan the Red Beard Wizard, Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch, High Viscosity Gender Fluid Slime, Bethany 2, Electric Boogaloo, Welcome to the Quan Pound, pen pen pen pen pen pen pen.

2:02:42Mr. Muchacho Kaiser Schnitzel has successfully recruited Sarah Murphy's cats for the Trouble Puffs Fight Club. The wolves in the deep freeze say, awoo. Sanctuary Moon's number two fans, Insane Clone Posse, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, Even Older Liz, McBearcat, Grack Pinfeather, Sitican Druidic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Recy, The Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere Looking For You, Rotten Ronnie Sleeps Grandma Panties, Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Bill Zangana Lester, Big MF Juice the SIP, Muffins, Chad Hatter, Cosmic Tea Maker of the Triads, Tell Your Cat I Said, Banana Manaz, A Corgi Called Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Sarge the Bard, Summinity, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, Ken Daddy, Leia Izadi, Millie Was Taken, Dead To Me 86, B Camp, Shanman Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Kinran Says Hello, Zoe and Her Army of Mice, Briar Longlost, Daniel, Trixie Belle Dubois, Dr.

2:03:50Bootyologist The Glutes Doctor. Thank you for pressing too, your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Surly Jess, RIP Lance McClain You Would Have Loved Midnight Burger, Adam Toclove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros to God, the size two fish you've been looking for. Yokai. Borgia. Spiders are cuddly. The main immortal pinball sounds in the diner. Cheel. Kneel. Sin City Scuba Steve. Poliwog. Michaela White. Elena Pickle. Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII. Mr. Grin. Glenn Petrovsky. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler.

2:04:30Elizabeth Hammond. Steam Vision. Conductor of the Interdimensional Time-Spanning Hype Train. Dave Herold. Wise Cube. Bro Mine. Pronounced bro. Mine. Main humdinga. Mother of Pearl, Fiona now owns Leif's 18-inch Peter, Sealface, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Coy Lane, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Darth Ox, Michelle Kay, Aaron Arnold, Boyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoying, Mamamander, B-Roz, and Slunkmaster J, Alpacalypse, Spokane, Doesn't Suck, Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, The Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas's Ten Tenebrous Tan Staffel Tippers Treading Treacherously Tantamount to Telling Totalitarian Trope Termination Tales, The Lovely Laura Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Sam Wise's Flamin' Cousin, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Gochi, Charles Robert Darwin III, Esquire, PhD, Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, Hola Millican of The Welcome Wagon says E Cabo, The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear, Scrubs.

2:05:30Remy, the Panda Crew. Melody Prime. Beardo the Wizard. Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says woof. Whiskered. Any two hands for the double high five? Marissa the Ghost. Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi. Stray Cat. Ol' Kelsey No Shoes. Zoldia. Dizzy Flame. We Serve Everyone Eventually. Sasha. Beth and Alan Van Gillis. Langston North. Sly Fox, aka Brer Rabbit. The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aotis. Chance Wants You To Know, He Cares. Wolf Stark, Elliot, Hobbs Decoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mubi the Golden Calf, Suda Satoshi, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Erin Elizabeth.

2:06:16K Narcotics, Solomon Price, Bubba 485, aka Schemmelbach the Christmas Whale. Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight. John Peters, you know, the farmer. Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magus, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley, Mr. Steamwave, my friend the rhino says be nice. Hup challenge.

2:06:51Dream Founder. I'm your Huckleberry. Elizabeth T. Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke. Boombastical Kimlicker. Hug-a-Muffin. Bigfoot of Doom. D.L. Annie Atkins. A bounty hunter called the Crandy Man. Garrow. My cats say to tell you. Meow. Think fast, chuckle nuts. Flash banged. Benjamin Ortiz. Mr. Frog President. Pop Rock Quicksand. Mr. Squizzle, Sizzle, Whizzle, Fizzle, The Horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for tea are being sent now. Abanasso, Mr. Rage, Adalor, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spaders Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmy's from Your Local Dimension, Ryan Abbey, Thomas Adams, Drink Spiller, Stephanie Boock, Entropy Eigenbasis, Andrea Crowther, Martin Deers, Kevin Daughtry, Dee Flower, Two Daddy Jazz Hens from Mouse Toots, Dan Gentry, I hope something good happens to you today.

2:07:44Yes, you.

2:08:11T Arena, Rachel Vasquez, Luca Vichito, Naya Venturi, The Beloved Yet Borderline Inappropriate Empire of Dr. Thunderbutt and Lady Christabel, Justin Wiley, Brett Zimmerman, Arrow Jones Jubal, Xavier Killingsworth, Lane Kiffin-Is-A-Ho, Mimetic Hygienist, Aaronstar Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaws, Spunky Dan, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelly, Jonathan K, Pearl Null, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron95, Spiku, The Bracken System and Its Homeworld Ren, Simply Tony, Gabrielle Castellon, Whom, What, When, Where, and Why is what all Fagronis say while listening to Midnight Burger.

2:08:55A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's Bar. Sir Party Animal, Uloy Jackal, Are you sure you might rob the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Cat with a K. My Figaroni has a first name. Stoppenstein L. Mustachio. Luca for Hezekiel. La Chihuahua Brava. CC Carousel. Korth the Destroyer. Honest Puck. Casper's Mom's Milf. Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava. Unexpectedly blue red Nell. Kordomsky. Craig Armstrong. Plastic Fork. Dulcet Deleche Studios presents under the Truscan sun. Get out of my booth. Bug. Propagator. I hardly know her.

2:09:36Sad Angry Crabman. Chuck McFinley. Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes. Velocity Girl 42. Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats. Ben Carlyle. Flat Steve's love for grand theft. Anna Kearney. Tater Tot Assassin. Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse. Starblaze Burnbright. Imzukioki. Spotted Rhino and her hand-me-down frogs. Red Mafia Panda. Lonely Isle. Kai Dallow Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Alexander the Boss, Skrizzles, Flap, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Firekeeper, The End Is Nigh, Jeremiah the Cancelled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Johnny Ellen West and the Boys from the Dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Auntie Becky is owned by Five Rescue Cats, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade Shortsword, Forget Normal, A Damn, CJ Johnson, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wumbo, Pikachu, Smivey, Globed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Ban Mi Hung, The Soup Witch, Fettuccine Alfredo, Pebbles, VV, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad Is Not Your Dad, Nick Borrow, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.

2:10:50Hamilton Underfoot Kitty I and Accomplice Princess Penelope the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christy, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2 and L. Marie catastrophe. The Image Collector, Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E. Melt says in a world of slugbots, Be a Hugbot, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.

2:11:29Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Dunord, Kozamine, Theodrax, Joey B, Lucas Barding Got His Barber to Listen to Midnight Burger, Little Debbie Cupcake, Taryn says, Hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandalwood Mountain Offers Peace for Your Soul, Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H, Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, That Old Glory Coal, GL Miao Nays Cat Butler, Oisin Liu, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Churro the Space God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Lindsay Bowen the Goddamn Podcast Lawyer, Alex Spruce, Dr. D. Birdcloth Sweather and Mrs. Duboptewe Birdcloth Sweather want to say hello to the whole Spweather family.

2:12:11I Lost My Galaxy Britches in a Game of Pants Darts, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, most likely Cass, Jasmine James, Dr. Caberand, also known as Omni, thanks Waffle Chateau. Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr's wife has the hots for Zebulon. Jennifer Culkins, Midday Burger, Dawn Parks, ThroatGoat666, oh my god my dad found out about my Patreon name. Fish in a Bag, September, previously observed in the pattern. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubenesque Parrot, Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubenesque Parrot, Stuck in a Pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Deflater Mouse, Tony Piekarski, Adrian R., Javier, Crazy Thadley, Cremulus is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twigster, Real Housewives of Seagius, Fae Queen, Oopshnart the Probability Demolition Expert, For My Mother, cctxgirl6823 waiting on the diner, Nicole Studioso, Sign My Suza Phone.

2:13:15Kay the Flying Penguin honks at the horde of Bethany's encroaching on their nest. Honestly, this is getting absurd. Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo Escargot, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Wandering Biscuit, Castriff, Aims Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Night Script, Uhtred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism.

2:14:04Yeah, not sure what I'm doing. Silly Willy Bubble Butt, Sierra Not From Arkansas, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, mount up, Wandering Scholar, Mad Yogi Eileen, A Cat Named M, Petito Pato, Palace, Big Mo, I Am Annie, I Live Forever, In Every Moment I've Existed, I Swear To Every Star In The Cosmos, I Never Forgot It Was A Gift, The Stone Fox, Sylvia, Papitos, Henry the Goose, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, I am a bomb till I think of something else to do. Brrrritwords. Hotshot Huntley. Momo's Mama. Space Mormon Says What?

2:14:41Ivy Paisley. Toast. Sue Watts. Myrtle. Caitlin. Leader of the Unicorn Revolution. Matlock. Lord of the 13th Sea. The Fourth Era. Printing with Cats. Khaleesi Del Mar. Von Vega. Dixie Dinah. 7 ,000 Possums. KBS 1017. Silas Vex. Sarah Jack Sparrow's Space Pony. Revibe. Debbie E. Dusty Ventures and his pilot Uzi drifting through space. Ronnie Porter, Gloria's line cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, the gabbiest painter and her bird of fire. Q-Dell, Pharrell, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, kerplunk kerplunk, whoops, where's my Thribble? Jackie Wavelet, Yayoi Gagarin, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, SteeLo, Bumbling Lilybee, A quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup.

2:15:34You know, you wouldn't think of it, but LA actually has like a tea scene that's very serious and you can drop like$100 on like a couple of ounces of tea. And if you get way into it, apparently that you start calling it the Leaf Game. Panda. Kennedy Allison Farner, the perpetually tired transgender time traveler. Tristan Stolz, Dalen Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, R-Craft, Russell, Jay to the Lynn, just a regular Fox, Jeremy Imsen, What the hell? Cineplex. And all the black people in North Carolina. Just Rachel. Waffles, waffles, waffles. Danger Girl. Atlas Bear. Eva's Cigarette Ash.

2:16:10Hugh Biftit. Ay, Zeus. Anaphylaxis. Scav with Comtax. The shape-shifting sad girl and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. Sarah Nicole. The Kells Fights with the Bethanies. Angry Leafs Lasersaw. Magnus Aerochill. Amy Perry. Source Decay. Descendant of the Swether Catfish Whisperer. Vagabond Mary. Bold Mouse. Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Nauman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Dangers, Security Chief Schatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nordlebash, Jordan, R1X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweizen, Kay.

2:16:54In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of Mike's, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tony's, one of whom still wants to be Leif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Thady of the Black and Herald of the Stars. Ryan Burnett, Dr. Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing into My Farm Boots. Super Beth Becomes an RN alongside my bootstub farm friend. Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosign, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation. Captain Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.

2:17:55Externally Screaming, But Bethany, I Made Biscuits, Scebo and Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Christina Senatus Teleporting, BRB, Definitely not an android, seriously I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobena Fee-Fi-Foe-Fena, Monsters Almanac's Biggest Fan, Aubrey and her Dad, Tequila Mockingbird, Spweathergoose, Dameron the Space Goblin, Iso Pale, Exquisite Whimsy, I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror imposes economic sanctions on the NB Bethany's for the whole laser saw car incident.

2:18:37My cat's name is Beef. Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemely, Boho go bye bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no go bro, Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Rudel, Kyle Perino, AK, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the Creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Lil Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit Bethany, Carl, the Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multidimensional Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngun, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, The Wizard Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious, Too Many Jans, says, Things are bad, but we're going to win, Pamela Roselle Tierra, Then Steena says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Luminous Elk, Rhodian Caution, Love is for the Njerds, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew, It's Just Tyson Now, Casper Needs All the Hugs, but Joe Needs an O2 Tank, Quote says, Joe is the writer's room, Nasty Dog 74 Needs Crew for Ship, Brown Coats OK, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly Kay, Lost Bassan, you know, the moon prison outside the triad, Kim Sel, Silly Goose Honk Honk, Ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saberwolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters Precious, It's Just Steve, RuPaul Atreides, Amanda Short, Chut Brimble, Deidre.

2:20:12No Saguaro. Ben Barr, stand clear of the closing doors, please. Beastly Death. Sven the Unlikely. Cognito Hazard Expunged. Ted Wassenasen. Virestria. Theosis the Theologian-ish. Why is my daughter so feral? Send help. Fernwood Gal. Nellie G. Twinkle Tots. Phantom's Moms. Callison. Hornswoglin Daniel Arthur. It's a fucking dog rapture. Abigail Yodley. King Humble. We'd better ask Dave. Wind Chimes for Safety. Cameron Winterborn Welsh, Fireball XL5, McKenzie Duna, Code Stranger, One Batty Bat, ha ha ha ha ha, Matt N, Alfie Rivneurum, Frelp, M. Lin, Feed M 'Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, J. Spark, Little Mirror Leopard Paws, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Mazies Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magortz, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Hold it now, hold it now, hold it now, hold it now, Hit it!

2:21:10Heat it! Had it! Hoot it! Bradley Ashby, Peter, William Dyer, Vicki Hebert, Jane, Hannah Dale, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and Her Steel-Eyed Bow, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain, Crazed Bear, Crafty Lizard Be Quilton, Megan The Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Watcher, Jeremy Baramy, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Belladonna, First of Her Name, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberti, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome Mage, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, To my little, you'll always be my good girl, you took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul, till we meet again, Sir Shitsalot strikes again, damn animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruzan B.

2:22:10Anthony, Trick says WHERP! Tibbled the First, Allifrog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, The Funtucky Wrangler, Scrim Brulee, Yay! Aaron, Zuzanna, Celeste Yoss, I'm so Antigone fun! I'm Ava's evil twin sister, Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Haya Buddha, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D 'Anomaly, Charmé, K-On with Karma, The Wondrous Methazephan, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Mother of Cats, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King Loves Kathy, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Philomena, Rebecca Trossel, Igpe Atenlay, The Real Fairy Godmother, Mitzi Lu, Kelsey Holm, still Casper's number one fan but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Matt Mosby, Saint Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Astrono-Weeb, Magnos the Civil Gnome.

2:23:28Welcome everybody, I'm Hydealon and and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q. Choi, A Bug Named Nat, CC Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Alcocinator, Ron Was Here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Jess Gioia, Killer Odd, Creator 67, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Rayborn, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthanomaly, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and L.A., Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, Fuck Ice, Captain Blepp, Ryan, Evie Power, Terry, PJ Says What?, Amelia Lucero et al., Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon, Blargo Blargo Blargo, The Jazz Man, Tonight at 11,

2:24:25Larak the Barbarianess, Hicks Bezzy Mates, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just a Blake, Alice Malice reminds you to take your medication please, your health is important. Kelly Jane Dankey, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornis Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that Ava, The one within.

2:24:55Grim says, rest in peace, Jamie Baugh. You are my light, and the world is dimmer without you in it. Zaki Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzer Ringdom, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Mroon Maiselil, Grawlix and Tarrobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Coming Soon, Dances with Burritos, Guacked and Loaded, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Myson, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Cara, Call Me Zen, Colibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler. Uh, attention, Dread Pirate Fred, Fred Burger, we have run out of languages.

2:25:36Please contact our office. WhatTheChuck, Sona Nisuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd VanVores, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatoichi, Inge the Crack, and Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Jen Extraneous, Dancing Dog Dreams, Trinket Coralie, and Existentially Exhausted Bean.