Welcome to the Horizon 2.5: The True Trans Traveler

In short

The Horizon 2.5 episode centers on a sci-fi/multiverse crisis in “Hood’s pocket,” where a slave encampment exists under the city, and the group debates whether to pursue a legendary rescue ship called the True Trans Traveler. It also includes immediate fallout from a traumatic reconnaissance mission involving Minsky, plus plans to locate the enslaved people and potentially free them.

Guest backgrounds

The transcript does not identify any real-world podcast guests or provide guest bios. It appears to be a scripted audio drama with recurring characters (e.g., Steve, Leif, Virge, Eldon, Celeste, Frank, June, Trinket, Verge, Minsky).

Key claims

Minsky is present and orchestrated a trap using Steve, including jamming tracking and forcing traumatic exposure.
The enslaved Raxians are held via debt bondage in an underground camp; the group believes thousands are trapped.
The True Trans Traveler is a purported undetectable ship that appears after disasters and removes people who would otherwise die.
Even if it’s “a fairy tale,” the group treats it as a potentially testable hypothesis with coordinates and a waiting period.

Notable examples

Steve’s near-abduction and the recorded footage reveal Minsky’s operation.
Trinket uses “mushroom radar” logic by going under the city to find the encampment.
Leif explains a theoretical way an antimatter ship could evade scanners by creating a particulate cloud.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

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The City Beneath Rax Prime

2:22 to 6:10

Discussion about the underground city and its inhabitants.

“There's a whole other city under that city.”

Confrontation and Consequences

6:11 to 10:00

A heated conversation about the risks and implications of their actions.

“Irony is, Minsky used to be one of these people.”

Plans for Action

10:01 to 14:01

Discussion around the group's plans to address the issues at hand.

“Okay, guys, let's just try to keep things as normal as possible, okay?”

A Plan to Rescue

14:01 to 16:49

The group discusses their feelings and plans to help others in distress.

“See, there was this girl, and she asked me to dance.”

Hiking Boots and Nostalgia

16:50 to 19:26

Characters reminisce about their past and the significance of old possessions.

“You know, I already think you're amazing.”

Cheesecake Snack Bar Memories

19:27 to 22:00

A conversation unfolds about a cherished childhood snack and its emotional weight.

“and less like some shambling mound hiding in the forest even though he may have literally transformed into a shambling mound.”

Bounty on a Head

22:01 to 25:34

The characters confront the reality of a dangerous bounty placed on one of them.

“Um, we should start to let go of things like this.”

Staging a Heist

25:35 to 28:00

The group debates the feasibility and morality of a daring rescue plan.

“If anyone kills me while they're trying to catch me, they'll be in deeper shit than I am.”

The Daring Heist Plan

28:00 to 36:10

Explore the complexities of planning a rescue mission amid moral dilemmas.

“Sitting around saying welcome to the triad every time someone gets screwed.”

Reflections on Life and Change

37:07 to 42:00

Delve into a deep conversation about personal identity and the passage of time.

“I feel like she's going to eat me or something.”

Show all 49 chapters

Discussion of Change and Feeling Trapped

42:00 to 43:30

The characters reflect on personal change and feelings of being trapped in their circumstances.

“But I never asked you to change, Frankie.”

Navigating the City and Meeting the Dirt Fairy

43:30 to 45:56

The group navigates the city and discusses their plans with a character known as the Dirt Fairy.

“First you have to get up and then we walk back to town.”

Bartering for Help and the Quest for Dirt

45:56 to 47:55

The characters discuss bartering for help while trying to locate something vital beneath the city.

“You don't seem like the type that wants more information than you need.”

Concerns and Decisions Under the City

47:55 to 50:25

Concerns about the journey underground are raised as characters make important decisions.

“When I'm on the mountain, I can sense where people are on the mountain.”

Exploring the Mud and Its Mysteries

50:25 to 54:41

The group explores mud and its mysteries, leading to humorous discussions about the situation.

“There's always a million ways to get killed, Dan Dan.”

Observing Unique Characters and Their Stories

54:41 to 56:00

The characters observe unique individuals and share stories about their backgrounds and adventures.

“What exactly was this peasant skirt gonna protect me from anyway?”

Character Banter and Planning a Drive

56:00 to 56:52

The characters engage in playful conversation while discussing their plans for a drive.

“Well, that's Dirty Diaper Fussbutt and the Piggy Run.”

Assignment and City Exploration

56:52 to 58:08

The characters reveal their assignment in the city and discuss their motivations for exploring.

“How long should we sit here and pretend I don't know your location?”

Personal Reflections and Connections

58:08 to 1:00:31

A character expresses their struggle with change and the importance of community support.

“We'll be bringing our friend Starblaze Burnbright.”

The True Trans Traveler Legend

1:00:31 to 1:02:42

The group discusses the legend of the True Trans Traveler and its implications for their situation.

“I keep wanting for you to do the Frank thing where you tell everybody to shut the fuck up.”

Skepticism and Folktales

1:02:42 to 1:05:49

The characters debate the validity of the True Trans Traveler legend against the backdrop of skepticism.

“It does sound a little too good to be true.”

Planning an Expedition

1:05:49 to 1:07:06

The group outlines a plan to seek the True Trans Traveler, with varying opinions on its feasibility.

“But let us look at what Verge is actually asking.”

Emotional Goodbyes and Concerns

1:07:06 to 1:07:56

Characters express their emotions and concerns before embarking on their mission.

“This does, of course, include you, Frank.”

Supportive Exchanges

1:07:56 to 1:10:00

Characters have light-hearted exchanges showcasing their relationships and camaraderie.

“Parents are out of town, let's party Let's do this Come in.”

Debate on the Existence of the True Trans Traveler

1:10:00 to 1:13:24

Explore a conversation challenging the feasibility of the true trans traveler concept.

“It always feels like a slow night when June's out of town.”

Theoretical Mechanics of Space Travel

1:13:24 to 1:16:14

Discuss theoretical concepts and mechanics behind undetectable spacecraft.

“The True Trans Traveler is apparently a very large ship that can't be detected.”

Human Nature and Community

1:16:14 to 1:17:54

Analyze the importance of community among humans and its impact on behavior.

“Well, maybe a little less so now, though, right?”

The Burden of Knowledge

1:17:54 to 1:20:44

Reflect on the responsibilities that come with advanced knowledge and technology.

“An alarm would sound, and they would all get under their desks.”

The Burden of Knowledge

1:21:45 to 1:24:05

Reflect on the responsibilities that come with advanced knowledge and technology.

“Caddy B, Andrea Williams, Go Ask Alice, West Kester, Saves the World.”

Character Introductions and Lore

1:24:05 to 1:25:03

Explore a variety of quirky characters and their backgrounds.

“Richland like rich land but without the D.”

The Bethany War and Its Implications

1:25:03 to 1:26:31

Learn about the ongoing conflict and its key players in the narrative.

“Ratskirt, the emo Sigma Lightworker, neckbone his Imperial dudeness.”

A Gallery of Unique Characters

1:26:31 to 1:28:08

A further dive into the many eccentric characters populating the world.

“Chimera, Don Moat, Daniela Yacom, the space trucker Chadwick Conan Doyle III, Jody Green, Monster Senshi, Heather Needs a Divorce, Michael Peters, Political Knitter.”

Whimsical Names and Their Stories

1:28:08 to 1:29:36

Discover the stories behind the whimsical names introduced.

“a Burnt Out Leaf, I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind, Brandon Alexander Ragsdale, aka Thor, You're all fully loved and known truly.”

Intergalactic and Mythical Concepts

1:29:36 to 1:31:03

Engage with intergalactic themes and mythical elements in the narrative.

“Earth Witch, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmull, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapiza, Dimension Spanning, Time Traveling Little Guy, Iono, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr.”

A Diverse Cast of Characters

1:31:03 to 1:32:40

Meet an array of characters contributing to the rich tapestry of the story.

“Three pandas in a trench coat named Bethany.”

Absurdity and Humor in Characterization

1:32:40 to 1:34:15

Appreciate the absurd humor embedded in character descriptions.

“Thunderbutt and Lady Christabel, Justin Wiley, Brett Zimmerman, Ma Dukes, U.S.”

Engaging with the Audience

1:34:15 to 1:36:09

Understanding the interactive nature of the podcast and audience participation.

“Unpaid intern passed the RD exam and got a job.”

Final Character Revelations

1:36:09 to 1:37:29

Conclude with final thoughts on the character dynamics and their significance.

“The Planet Gubrius wants to know if Croc is a crocodile or a proper gator.”

Introduction of Characters and Names

1:38:01 to 1:39:05

A whimsical roll call of various fictional characters and funny names.

“Vence M, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves MIDI, Brian Pasley, Subawasa, Grinna, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Old Man Dagwood.”

The Society of Bethany and its History

1:39:06 to 1:40:28

Discussion about the Society of Bethany and the implications of their actions in a humorous tone.

“Icy Fish, the hacker known as Ivy de Burb, Edwin McDonald, a feisty-ass chickadee, Poultry Landmine, the Scrappy Poet, Jenny the Cryptid Paladin, Maverick Artist, Shit, it was a mimic.”

Name Game Continues

1:40:29 to 1:43:09

Continuation of the fun and chaotic naming of characters and entities.

“Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries.”

More Whimsical Names and Greetings

1:43:10 to 1:44:16

Further humorous and whimsical character names and greetings are shared.

“Chad Hatter, the Cosmic Teammaker of the Triads.”

Acknowledging Listeners and Characters

1:44:17 to 1:46:39

A light-hearted acknowledgment of listeners and their imaginative names.

“Queen Surly Jess, RIP Lance McClain, you would have loved Midnight Burger.”

Celebrating Names and Characters

1:46:40 to 1:49:06

A celebration of names continues, showcasing the creativity of the show.

“the constantly lost geographer, Timothy Aotis.”

The Grand Finale of Names

1:49:07 to 1:52:00

The final segment of the fun name roll call, ending on a light note.

“It will always be Finley's work hole to me.”

Introduction of Characters and Elements

1:52:00 to 1:57:12

A whimsical introduction to various characters and themes in the Midnight Burger universe.

“Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.”

Narrative Interludes and Anecdotes

1:57:12 to 2:00:15

The hosts share quirky anecdotes and creative narratives that highlight the show's unique style.

“I think about switching back to tea sometimes, but then I'm like, you know, who's got the time?”

Group Dynamics and Emotional Support

2:00:15 to 2:03:20

Discussion revolves around group dynamics and the importance of emotional support among characters.

“Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Rudel, Kyle Perino, AK, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi.”

Wrap Up and Future Directions

2:03:20 to 2:06:00

The hosts conclude the session with reflections on the journey and hints at future episodes.

“Lattice Trash Angel action figures recalled after Flared Base Causes Moral Panic.”

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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00Thanks for supporting the Fable and Folly Network. Here's another show we know you'll love. Every winter in the nice little Canadian town of Beavermount, Ontario, an old scrap VW beetle is towed out onto the frozen ice of Beavermount Lake. And every resident enters a sweepstakes to guess the exact date and time the bug will fall through the ice. Last night, a torrential rainstorm flooded the ice. And at 4.23am, the VW fell through. And sank to the bottom. But when Lorna Batson saw an adult-sized mitten floating on the surface, the car was winched out of the lake to find Greg Sullivan fall out of the driver's seat.

0:53Dead.

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2:21Thank you.

3:15There's a whole other city under that city. People from all over the place. They're kids. There are these huge caves under the city. They run for miles, it looks like. The indigenous people of Rax Prime are subterranean. They think it stems from a period in their history when there were frequent media strikes on the surface. There's not many of them left now, but they left behind a complicated network under Raxias. Any idea how many, Steve? I don't know. A hundred? A few hundred? A few thousand, I think. Jesus. Well, that's more than we have in town. They're all enslaved? I mean, you can call it what you want.

4:00He gave me a tour of the whole camp. He said that people come there for all sorts of reasons. Looking for a better life. On the run from fascist governments. On the run from a collapsed society. They come there thinking it's a way out, but then they get trapped there. How do they get trapped there? It's certainly not a new idea. They come there and pay a price to gain shelter. They incur a debt. They're then told they have to work to pay off the debt. With the ridiculously high price and accruing interest, there's no possible way to pay it off. And the work they do? Whatever they're told to do.

4:41They don't have a choice. Yeah, I'll call that slavery. And this Minsky guy, he's able to do this right under the nose of, I don't know, whatever the powers that be. Lord, nobody on Raxias is going to care about something like this. It's kill or be killed. Steve. Frank, listen. Steve, can you tell me what the fuck you were thinking? Frank. No, I understand that this was traumatic, okay? But when are we all going to get it through our heads that we're in a dangerous place here? What were you thinking? Frank, in his defense, the danger hasn't been that apparent. Are you kidding me? You were almost abducted.

5:19Aside from that, yes. I had to write a spaceship into orbit to save Verge. I did have that handled, by the way. Okay, please, don't remind me that I wrote a spaceship for no reason. Sorry. But we're warned about dangerous guys like Slabs McTerps, but then Celeste starts dating him. Wait, what? What? Can we not make that a part of public conversation, please? Look, this is the thing with the triad. You can make fun of it for a while because the behavior is so idiotic. But then something like this happens, and it gets unfunny real quick. Did you know about this? Kind of. What do you mean? At an operation like this, it was a pipe dream of Minsky's for a long time, but Lovetrax would never let him do it.

6:04Lovetrax was a psychopath, but for whatever reason, they drew the line at slavery. But now that Lovetrax is gone... I guess... I guess I'm okay with it. Irony is, Minsky used to be one of these people. He was a refugee. He's from a planet called Ren in the Bracken system. Hell on earth, that place. Total societal collapse. He had to claw his way out of there when he was just a kid. And then, years later, he looks at the same type of people he used to be, and he thinks, that's a great business opportunity. Okay, great. I don't want to get off topic here. Steve, you don't live in a bubble, okay?

6:52I'm sure you think you're invincible, but you weren't just putting yourself in danger. You were putting all of us in danger. Frank? This isn't a fun little game, Steve. We're talking about people's lives. Frank, shut the fuck out for a minute, please. Last night, Steve and I were working together. What? What? Last night, Steve was approached by an employee of Minsky's, though he didn't know it was his employee at the time. He showered Steve with compliments and told him that his employer would love to meet. Steve found it suspicious, went to the bathroom, and consulted me. I agreed that it was suspicious, and I encouraged Steve to decline the meeting.

7:33And then I thought, well, these guys think I'm stupid, and maybe we should take advantage of that. Steve then volunteered to take the meeting anyway. He felt that if someone were trying to take advantage of us, we should probably know who it is. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I wasn't expecting, well, I wasn't expecting all that. Nor was I, Steve, but it was definitely a successful reconnaissance mission. You sneaky little bitch. I tell you things when you ask and when you need to know them. Hey, um, Steve, are you okay?

8:15Minsky, Minsky was treating me like I was, I don't know, like I would understand. And he thought I was like him. I'm not, right? Steve, of course not. I would never do something like that. No, we know that, Steve. Hey, everyone. Steve just went through something really traumatic, and I think he needs some rest. Also, I think this story has maybe affected us, too, and we all need some time to process. Well, I'm afraid we're not done, Trinket. Oh, Jesus. What else? Minsky's presence here is disquieting, to say the least. He's the definition of cautious and calculating, and he wouldn't be here without good reason.

8:58He had several jammers in place that kept me from tracking Steve's location, but I was able to record video and audio on Steve's phone the entire time. I can show you what Steve saw last night if you'd like. Why would we want to see that? Yeah, I don't recommend it. No. No, we should. Why? Well, Steve saw some very traumatic things last night, and he's bearing that burden alone. I think it would help Steve if we all bore that burden together. And Steve being the only one with this experience separates him from us. And we all need to be in the same boat. It's important. There's some wisdom to that, I think.

9:42Also, you'll be able to see what Minsky looks like and sounds like. He's here now, and this won't be the last we see of him. Let's do it. If you'd like to excuse yourself, feel free. I'll send the video to the television above the bar.

10:10Okay.

10:25Okay, guys, let's just try to keep things as normal as possible, okay? Frank and I will head to the horizon. Doug, head across the street. Deirdre, are you going to open the doors later? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine. We could all remember that while this is difficult information to take in, we are two hours away from a city in which there are a thousand more stories like this. This one just happened to arrive at our doorstep. It won't be the last one. That's encouraging, Eldon. Guys, we're going to be okay. Just to put things in perspective. It's not the thing. It's not Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

11:10It's not even Event Horizon, okay? From a sci-fi perspective, we're still doing fine, right? Thank you, June. Yeah. Look, we're going to be okay, guys. Okay. Ready? Break. Hey, Steve, do you want to come across the street with me? I don't think you should be alone. Yeah, that sounds good. Leif. I'll be around. With your phone, please. Yeah, yeah. Hey, sunshine. Hi, June. You look like a man who really wants to manage a motel all day. You have no idea how true that is. Doug. Hey, Celeste. I think it might be time to access my secret stash. Yep, I thought it might. Follow me.

12:00Sweetie, are you okay? Am I... No, no, I'm not. Did you expect me to be? No.

12:17I... I feel a lot of things. I know. I... Everyone's got their reasons for living up at the top of a mountain. Okay. I take things on a little too much. That's what Trinket says anyway. See, I see someone upset or alone or hurt, and suddenly it's my problem, and it's a problem I can't really do anything about. so I just sit there with someone else's problem that's now become my problem and that happens about nine times a day. By the time the day is over, I feel overwhelmed and tired and that's just on a light day. So I wound up back here on the mountain a lot. I don't know how you functioned out there?

13:20All this time you were out there in a world like this. How did you do it? Well, it helps to never know the other side. If all you know is crime and evil and slavery, Well, you, um... You start to accept it. Welcome to the triad. It's, you know, it's what we say. You can't change it. You might as well get used to it. I don't want to be like that. I know. I don't want you to be like that. I'm not. Not anymore. What changed? What changed? See, there was this girl, and she asked me to dance.

14:20Oh, God. How am I supposed to do this? I just open the bar now and serve beers to aliens who maybe... They could have bought some of those people. Yeah, I know. What am I supposed to do?

14:42we're going to get them out.

14:47What? We're going to get them out. I beg your pardon? Shh, Eldon, shush. How? I may have an idea. An idea? Steve said there were thousands of them. Yeah, does make it a little tricky. A little tricky? Well, yeah, less than that would be ideal, but, you know. Virge. What? Don't do this. Why? I don't want to lose you just because I can't learn how to live in the world. I'm not. Yes, you are. I feel it, too, okay? Okay, these past few months with you, I can't experience the world the way I used to. I see everything differently. I can't just survive anymore. It's not enough. Look, something has to be done.

15:51Urge. And that's a fucked up feeling, quite frankly. Empathy? But, you know, here I am. This wasn't what I was asking you to do. I know. I don't want you to do this for me. I'm not. I'm doing it for us. I can't live our lives together knowing you saw all those people and we did nothing.

16:21Besides, doing things for you was all I had planned for the rest of my life, so...

16:29what is this plan you're talking about well it's a little um shall we say unconventional uh so how about before i tell you the plan i go argue with leif about it for a little while and then I'll be back. You know, I already think you're amazing. You don't have to do this. I know. Look, I'm standing here in the middle of a brand new me. I'm not really sure what I'm capable of. So maybe I want to take this new model out for a test drive.

17:26If your plan is to get out of earshot, I think you've succeeded. Are you kidding me? Minsky? Showing up right now? What are the chances of that? This isn't a coincidence. Of course it's not a coincidence. Maybe we should have talked about that in the meeting. How would that have changed anything? It's not as though we left with a list of action items. There's no reason for anyone to be on high alert any more than they already are. I should get out of here. If I'm a target, then I should leave. If Minsky knows where I am, then I'm a sitting duck. That may not be entirely true. What do you mean?

18:02Life. What? Meet me at my ship. Let's talk.

18:15What are you doing? I'm putting on my hiking boots. You haven't worn those in ten years. I wear them. I wear them when I'm thinking about taking a hike. And then I decide against it. And I put them away for another year or two. You're thinking about going on a hike. No, you are. And I'm coming with you. Wait, how do you know I'm going on a hike? Because you have your boots on. I always have my boots on. You're thinking about something. And when you're thinking about something, you always, you know, go upward. Yeah. I don't need any company. Frankie, you're incredibly lucky to have me as a family member.

18:59We both know that. Oh, I'd like to change a few words in that sentence. But honestly, lately, I've been feeling like I'm falling down on the job. June, you do have a hard time doing jobs. The aliens. the danger my hot boyfriend it's very distracting it's time for me to get back to my roots my true calling in this life helping my poor cousin Frankie act more like a human being and less like some shambling mound hiding in the forest even though he may have literally transformed into a shambling mound. Hiding in the forest, let's go!

19:52Oh my god, I'm already tired. Okay, here we go. I keep them in the fridge behind the eggs just for you. Oh wow, there they are. Oh, they're beautiful, aren't they? So, um, how long has it been since you've had one of these? Oh, it's been years. They used to be my favorite thing, but then they stopped making them. Then, when I was stationed in Manila, I found a box of them at a corner store. Brought them back to my room, I was so excited, but couldn't bring myself to have one. What if these are the last Philadelphia cheesecake snack bars in the world? so I could never bring myself to eat one. Oh, right.

20:41So, Celeste, these bars are old. Yes. Very old. They are. So, like, a couple of decades old at this point. I know. And, listen, I work at a convenience store, so I'm well aware of the wonders of food preservatives, But these are cheesecake in a bag, essentially. I know. We would never eat one. I just... I like that they're there for some reason. Have you been to Manila? Oh, no. It's pure chaos, that city. And I was a very young private, and I had to drive a jeep through all of that with the base commander in the back. After a day of that, I would go back into the mess hall where they kept my box of cheesecake snack bars for me.

21:48I would just look at them. Never ate one. was a nice little organized thing in a chaotic world. Oh. Um, we should start to let go of things like this. Oh, I know. It, no, no amount of clinging to the past has ever made it stick around. I know.

22:24How does one do that? I don't know. I imagine by replacing it with, you know, something else. Hey, guys. Hey, y 'all. Hey, Steve. How are you doing? I'm okay, I guess. What are you guys doing? Oh, we were... Doug was just throwing away some garbage that I had over here. I was. What are you two up to? Well... We weren't next door, and I guess Trinka was about to, you know, make me tea or something. Or something. And probably meditate or something. Or something. But then we, well, we had a thought. What was your thought? Well, we've all decided that the best way forward is to sit here in the mountains and try and wait this whole thing out until we move on.

23:21But then I said, hey, what if we do something instead? Okay. Do what? How much gas do you have in the Jeep, Celeste?

23:49What the fuck are you doing to my ship? Just having a look around. This is a wild custom job. Is this Des? He did me a favor. It's insane. I like it. It's a long-range ship with a two-person confined cockpit. I know. It doesn't make any sense. Which is why I like it. But you've still got the racing engines. How do you not flame out on long trips? You said it wouldn't be a problem. Wait a minute. Each engine has its own drive core. That must be it. That's my fucking idea. Of course it is. Thieving-ass Truscans. Leif, get the fuck out of there. Let's talk. All right.

24:40So, Minsky. Yeah. So many fond memories. Sorry. He's obviously here for me. I told Eldon I should get out of here, but he told me to talk to you. Yes. Why? Something weird is going on. Of course it is! There's a bounty on my head. That's not weird? Yeah, no, it's not weird. But it's apparently the largest bounty ever placed. How big? Whoever catches me gets a whole system cluster. Jesus. Yeah. All someone has to do is catch you, and they get to run the operation for a whole cluster of systems. Which is easier said than done, but still. Who put the bounty on your head? You did. Aha. Also, I have to be taken alive.

25:42If anyone kills me while they're trying to catch me, they'll be in deeper shit than I am. Really? I don't know what I did, but the version of me in this universe has something that you want. And you want it very badly. What is it? No idea.

26:09We don't know if Minsky is here for you or me. Right. We don't. Okay. I'm going to be honest, that's kind of a relief. Oh, well, you're welcome. But it does complicate things. Mm-hmm. Because you can leave to try and take the heat off of us, but... I'm not leaving, Leif. Okay.

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26:40Well, obviously, Minsky pulled this whole stunt with Steve to let either you or me know that he's here. I think so. I guess he's hoping that we'll make either you or me make a run for it, and then catch us when we do. Probably. But since we're not doing that, I guess we hunker down here. Wait for his next move. Yeah. But what if we didn't do that? What do you mean? You saw the same footage I did just now. Okay. I hate where this is going. Slavesleaf?

27:26Shit.

27:31Why now, Virge? Why do you have to have a conscience right now? Oh, I've always had a conscience, Leif And, in fact, so have you But also a much stronger survival instinct Which you seem to have lost Ugh I thought that was a vapian's whole thing Survive no matter what What if having a conscience is a survival instinct, hmm? What? I'm serious Who died and made you Immanuel Kant? Sitting around saying welcome to the triad every time someone gets screwed. It never worked. Leif, look at where we are and who the fuck is Immanuel Kant? You know, when I first opened my eyes and saw your face, this is the last conversation I thought we'd be having.

28:22Who are you? The last thing Minsky's going to expect is us getting aggressive. There's a reason why he won't be expecting it. It's stupid. But he still won't be expecting it. Okay. Be clear with me. What are we talking about? You want to stage some daring heist wherein we free thousands of hostages? And do what with them? I don't have every step of the plan to lay out in front of you, Leif. You have no steps of the plan. You have a feeling that's not a plan. I'm telling you what I want. What you want or what Deidre wants? I've picked up on a bit of a problematic moral center with that one. That's what this is about, right?

29:15It's what we both want. Loving someone doesn't make you invincible. Yes, it fucking does, Leif. So, you're not Immanuel Kant. You're Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Stop throwing earth names at me. Gods. I'm not doing this. Leif, do you remember how you used to look at impossible things? You would laugh at them. They were like a challenge to you. So what? Be that guy again, just for a minute. Come on. Virg. Over here, you've got that kid you met all those years ago. And over here, you've got the guy who just placed a massive bounty on your head. The guy who has no problem with enslaving people. And I hate to say it, but I'm much closer to the second guy than I am to the first.

30:15Leif, that's not true. I built the cowcatcher.

30:22I promised you I would never build it and I built it I built it I launched it it was right before I wound up here I fired it at Crocs Planet by my estimation it will arrive about a year before I even get there the timeline will splinter off and that Leif will never know the difference. After traveling that far the energy release will be massive. It'll destroy his entire solar system.

31:09How populated is the solar system?

31:16I don't know. I know he has an army. It could be thousands, could be billions.

31:32Tell me again about that wide-eyed kid you fell in love with.

31:40Whoa! What the fuck? Hold still.

31:53I seem to recall you cackling pretty loudly when I offed an entire tower full of science priests. Yeah, and you know what happened after that? I grew the fuck up, Leif. Fuck you! And I guess I didn't. So excuse my childish action of, you know, trying to prevent a psychopathic god from controlling the universe.

32:38I can see that you've changed. That doesn't mean everyone else changes with you.

32:49It waits around for you, you know. That person that you've tried so hard not to be. They just sit there and wait. Usually wait for you to be alone.

33:06I'm sorry.

33:18All this time, trying to get to know the new you. Nothing new. Just as you left me.

33:36I'm going to stop trying to appeal to your moral center now fine which leaves me with this you fucking owe me you've been out there for who knows how long transmitting little messages telling me to come to Hood's pocket. Sounds like a lot of guilt you're carrying around, Leif. I guess. Then I'll appeal to that. You owe me. You fucked me over. And you owe me.

34:29Fine. We're not going to just sit here and let thousands of people get sold into slavery. Fine. So I hope you're ready to put that diabolical, doomsday weapon-making mind of yours to work. Virge, I can't spin straw into gold. There's no way that I can get thousands of people off this planet without someone noticing. You don't need to get them off the planet. You can't bring them here. We're not bringing them here either.

35:13No. It's worth a shot. You can't be serious. I am serious. Virg, don't be ridiculous. You've heard the stories. I've heard the stories. They're stories! And this is going to upset you, but after the first part of our conversation, you know what? This feels even better than I was expecting. You're going to construct this entire plan around a fucking fairy tale. Fairy tale? Oh, come on, Leif. Dream big. I'm not doing this. As I said before, fuckface, I'm not appealing to you anymore. I'm calling in a debt. You fucking owe me, you fucking weasel, and I am collecting.

35:59Fine. It'll be like when we first met, baby. Just business.

36:10Welcome to Radio Rental. The scariest stories you've ever heard in your life. All told by real people. Oh, and off we go. On one side of me, I have these people whispering to each other, staring at me. And then the other side, I have this distaste man gurgling. I was afraid that something was trying to trick me and lure me down there. And I had no idea what I would find if I walked down to that pond.

36:46Zach, there are people outside the room talking. that's not normal. Radio Rental is available now. Listen for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Today, I met the love of my life. Her name is Juniper Suma. She just, she seemed kind of off to me. Why would you think that? Tell me. It's her eyes. They're just so dark. I feel like she's going to eat me or something. I get that a lot. Mommy! Hell really broke the moment. They released her. And she is everything. Something's amiss at Juniper's house. Available everywhere this Valentine's Day.

37:58Hiking is terrible. You live on a mountain. You're forgetting. I have perfectly crafted my daily movements so that I never, never, never have to walk uphill. I'm a masterpiece of urban planning. Jesus, drink, drink some water. I was supposed to drink water? You were supposed to drink water. Give me some water. Here.

38:36You really need a squeeze of lemon in there. Uh-huh. Some cucumber slices, maybe. June, why are you here? I'm being supportive. Well, you're doing great. Remember McHadley? McHadley? I don't think so He was one of those rich guys Made a bunch of money from, I don't know, some phone app or something And decided to be a rich guy on the mountain Bought a bunch of climbing gear that he didn't need Really excited about his new mountain climbing life And he heads up the mountain for the first time with like nine ropes hanging off his body. Anyway, three days later, we realize that he never came down.

39:26He went up the mountain and just stayed there. So I go into the sheep's eye and I'm like, guys, we have to go find McHadley. And by we, I mean, of course, I mean someone else. And so Doug heads all the way up there and he finds the guy. He was sitting at a little campfire eating his last energy bar. I guess he had some sort of weird anxiety attack and couldn't get back down. Doug said he was like, I don't know. The rest of my life is down there. Weird, right? You think I came up here to avoid the rest of my life? You genius. You've decoded my metaphor. That's not what I'm doing, June. Well, what are you doing?

40:14I don't know. Taking one last look, I guess. Before you leap to your death? I don't mean to be a buzzkill, but I don't think you can leap to your death anymore. You may have to start from way higher. Do you want to keep climbing? Try it from there? My dad was the same way, you know? What way? He never wanted anything to change. Oh, yeah. For sure. He wore four flannels and a pair of jeans his entire life. That's not true. Unless there was a wedding. And then he wore the suit. The green suit. And the brown tie. You know what's in my closet, June? Four different flannels. Yep.

41:12It was not my intention to be his carbon copy I know There are worse guys to be a carbon copy of He wasn't a bad guy Yeah, I know But I mean, there's a giant salamander in Doug's backyard Around the mountain is a space dinosaur Trinket is talking to mushrooms Deetra's in love with a four-armed alien, and I could jump from the top of this mountain and not die.

41:52So, what exactly am I trying to hang on to?

41:59I don't know if you've noticed, but sometimes I make fun of you for being such a stick in the mud. Stop it. Really? It's true. Hmm. I, huh. I had not noticed. Well, it's very subtle. Uh-huh. But I never asked you to change, Frankie. I don't think you should. If you don't want to, be this guy. Be this guy. All you want. If you don't want to change, don't. You just have to accept that everything else does.

42:44Yeah. I don't like feeling trapped. Sure. And I don't like other people feeling that way either. Sure. So those people that Steve saw last night, they're trapped. Yeah. I don't think anyone's going to do something about that, so... So? So I guess we have to. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Frankie. Sounds like they have awakened the swamp. Absolutely. No more swamp thing jokes, June. No more. I'll try. Let's do this. What do we do first? First you have to get up and then we walk back to town. Walking downhill. My favorite.

43:48Make the hero. Make the hero. Unstoppable.

44:05Uh, so this city is big. Steve, are you sure this is safe for us to be here? I feel not great. You know, that's the thing about this place. Everyone is from all over the place, so no one really notices you. It's got a very strange feeling to it. It's very cold, Steve. Hey, you sure you're up for this? Yeah. I mean, it's worth a try, right? If you say so. Why are we in an alleyway? Apparently, this is where we're supposed to meet her. Uh, who? How did you know about this alley? It's kind of funny. I don't recognize anything around me right now, but it all kind of works the same as it always does.

44:53What do you mean? Minsky made a mistake. Never introduce someone to your connect. Because if they know your connect, what do they need you for?

45:07There, she, uh, oh my. What is that? Whoa, Steve. You again. Dirt fairy. I'm not really looking for new customers. It's a one-time thing. I promise I won't be a nuisance. There's just no one else that can help us with this particular problem. What problem is that? We're trying to get deep under the city. As deep as you can go. Huh. That's a new one. Why? I need to get to the ground underneath the city. Not asphalt, not sewers, but the actual earth that the city is built on. Can you do that for me? I can, but it's a bit of a trek, and the smell is really something. Al, that's fine. What's this about?

46:06Al, come on, dirty fairy. You don't seem like the type that wants more information than you need. Okay. How much?

46:18Uh, how much? I don't do this out of the kindness of my heart, Steve. Sure, right. Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, what, one second. Um. What did she want, money? Yeah, I, um, I didn't think about that part. Well, I have 12 Earth dollars. I think that'll do the trick. Oh, oh, I have some alien money that June gave me. Oh, but no, it's back at the shop and go. Maybe I could trade some jewelry. You guys are from that Earth place, right? Up in the mountains? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's us. Did the Earth suits give us away Pringles? Oh, what's that? I want Pringles. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yes. Pringles, I can do that.

47:08We have original and sour cream and onion and pepperoni pizza. That's the one. Pepperoni pizza. Okay. How do they get a whole slice of pizza in there? Well, that is a mystery for sure. Okay. Four tubes. Oh, four tubes is really going to set me back. Doug. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah, that's fine. I can get you four tubes. Good. We have a deal? Deal. Follow me. Don't say I didn't warn you about the smell. Oh, fantastic. Trinket, I'm very concerned about this. Look, Steve had that whole terrible experience seeing all of those poor people, but he didn't know where he was. And Eldon couldn't track him down.

48:08When I'm on the mountain, I can sense where people are on the mountain. And maybe if I get my feet in the dirt under the city, I can try and get a sense of where this encampment is. And if you can find them, what then? I think you know what happens then, Celeste. I think we all do. Okay. Good luck, Trinket. Hey, you guys stay with the Jeep. I'll head down there with them. How bad is the smell, Steve? You remember the paper mill down in Halsey? Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. It's worse. Oh.

49:03Thank you.

49:27Yeah, I mean, you know that nobody does that the crap that you do all. Yeah,

49:46yeah. Story r inconvenient, either. Looks like that he's doing a simple Simisco high. So until now, the team feels like they are helping us with how to remain still and now having their character with with whom it's not important. So anyway, we're just two weeks off.

50:01Can I be both? Hey, Whisper Dan. Lovely to not hear your voice again.

50:15Let me know when you're over the shock.

50:21Not at all. I'm still dead. For all intents and purposes, anyway.

50:29Good.

50:36A little bit of both, actually.

50:42There's always a million ways to get killed, Dan Dan. I'm just trying to die happy. Okay?

50:55Well, it's a wild one. Maybe the wildest I've ever asked for.

51:22Watch your step. The stone's going to start to break up. You're almost there. I can't see a damn thing. So how did you get to know all these tunnels? I was born down here. All my people were. You're from here? One of the last native Raxians. Wow. It took them a hundred years to realize they were building a city on top of us. Then, when they did realize it, they didn't care.

51:50God damn. Steve, are you okay? How are you not tripping over everything? I can see just fine. You... Shit, Trinket. What? Your eyes are glowing. They are? Yeah. Are they not supposed to? No. I mean, who knows? You should probably know, because they're your eyes. How much are they glowing? Do I have, like, headlights in my face or something? No, but I can definitely see them. You look like a pair of floating eyes right now. That's crazy. And you can see fine? Yeah. I mean, I can see you standing right there. Trinket, your whole situation is just like getting weirder and weirder these days. It's out of control.

52:47I mean, look at me. I'm just a pair of eyes floating around. Who the fuck are you people? We're mountain folk. We're a little weird. Okay. Whatever. We're here. We are? Wow. What is it? What are we looking at? It's mud. It's bubbling. This is the first trace of actual dirt you'll see. There's a lava tube melting a glacier nearby. It makes a river of mud under the city. I don't think this is what we had in mind, dirt fairy. You wanted dirt. You got it. I didn't say it was going to be dry. I don't know about this, Trinket. Um, should be fine. What? You're going to get in there? Yeah. Yeah. You know, back home rich people would pay a lot of money for something like this.

53:49Oh yeah? Rich people are stupid. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's do this. Anything dangerous in there? No. Just good clean mud. I mean, might be kind of nice. Sure, there's no mud alligators in there or something? What's a mud alligator? It's a... It's a thing I just made up in my head. No, there are no things you made up in your head in there. Steve, it's probably good you can't see anything. Why? Because I should probably get naked. What? Yeah. Yeah, it's probably for the best. How is that possible? Steve, come on. What exactly was this peasant skirt gonna protect me from anyway? I've seen some crazy shit in this city.

54:49This may take the cake. Well, thank you. Okay. Here we go. I better get in the Witches Hall of Fame for this shit.

55:23Oh, people watching here is amazing. I can't stop looking at them. Okay, that one there. What's her story? Oh, okay. That is Starblaze Birnbright. Nice. Yes, she is a princess of a planet called Jo... Jo Suasion. I like it. She's on the run. Uh-oh. Yep. She is being chased by a bounty hunter known as the Crandy Man. I love it. Yeah. Oh, oh, how about those two? Ah, okay.

56:13Well, that's Dirty Diaper Fussbutt and the Piggy Run. Okay. They used to have their own TV show called A Gremlin with the Munchies. Well, that sounds delightful. The little one had a catchphrase he would say every episode. Oh, my God, what is it? It's not rocket surgery. Hello, you two.

56:45Hello. Hello. What are we up to today?

56:52Just going for a drive. Going for a drive. Really? Whereabouts? You know, over the Hills and Dales. The Hills and Dales. The Hills and Dales. Hills and Dales is correct. How long should we sit here and pretend I don't know your location? A little bit longer would be great. Sergeant, what are you doing in the city? We have given ourselves an assignment. I see. Why? So, Eldon, we felt a little bit antsy in town, so we decided to do something. Did you consider a board game? Perhaps Jenga? Steve and Trinket had an idea. Can we move past the phase where people have ideas? Well, no, but it might be a good one.

57:40Any idea might be a good one, Dutch. Trinket thinks that if she can get underneath this city, she'll be able to tell where those poor people are that we saw in the video. I see. Trinket's trying to get underneath the city so that she can send out some sort of mushroom radar ping. Is that it? Sounds simple enough to me. It's not rocket surgery. All right. Carry on. Get back as soon as you can. We'll be bringing our friend Starblaze Burnbright. Is that okay? What?

58:34Hello there. Hey, baby. Hello. Hello. Why is June on the floor? Uh, she tried walking today. It was a terrible mistake. What's going on? Yeah. Please hold your judgment until after I'm done, okay? Okay.

58:58Wow. This actually feels really strange. What does? Frank, I'm not a freedom fighter, Frank. I've never been out there fighting the good fight, you know? I survive. I try and find some quiet moments. I don't stick around. And then suddenly I got stuck. Suddenly there was something very sticky. They're talking about me. I'm the sticky part. Oh, she's very sticky. Ugh, guys, don't be adorable right now. I already want to puke. Look, I've always just looked out for myself, and I can't do that anymore. And honestly, it's not just the hot girl you have behind the bar. it's about all of you you all accepted me and protected me Frank you rode a spaceship into orbit to save me and really you have no idea how strange that feels and lately that's made me wonder

1:00:10If I found a home, if this impossible thing happened, well, then what else is possible? What else did I call impossible without actually knowing if it was... Burge, listen, you don't... Look, there may be a way to get the prisoners out is what I'm saying. There may be a way.

1:00:36Okay. Okay.

1:00:40I keep wanting for you to do the Frank thing where you tell everybody to shut the fuck up. No, just keep talking. Okay. It involves something a bit unconventional. Well, it would almost have to. Is David Blaine going to make them disappear? You folks really, really, really, really, really, really need to stop using all the random Earth names. I never know what the fuck you're talking about. Wait, Virg, what's the unconventional plan? Oh, well, okay. You know what? I think it would be great if Leif explained it to you. Seriously? Fuck you. Get on out there, Leif. No. Go ahead, Leif. You really trust me to sell this?

1:01:25Leif, come on, what is it? Fine. It's called the True Trans Traveler. What is that? Santa Claus. Leif. It is. Wait. Leif, what is the true trans traveler? Okay. There's a lot of stories out there in the triad. Nobody believes all of them, and some of them hardly anyone believes. One of those stories is the true trans traveler. It's a ship. As the legend goes, if there's ever a situation where a large group of people are in trouble, Natural disaster, war, environmental collapse. The legend says that sometimes in those situations, the true trans traveler appears. It's a gigantic ship that appears out of nowhere and is completely undetectable when it travels.

1:02:22And you don't think it exists? Very few people do. We have a name for those people. Watch it, buddy. It's a fairy tale, Frank. It's a story you tell kids so they won't be afraid. But Verge seems to be talking about this ship like it's an actual viable option. I know. And it's really fucking with my head. It does sound a little too good to be true. It does. You know what else sounded too good to be true? A galaxy called Cryptessia. People would fantasize about a galaxy called Cryptessia, where there's no Ted Empire and no galactic crime lords. I've told you all already what Cryptessia actually is.

1:03:04That's what believing in myths like this can get you. I've heard tons of stories about this ship. They can't all be fairy tales. How many stories have you guys heard about Sasquatch? They can't all be fairy tales, right? I totally saw Sasquatch one time, B2Dub. Nope. Nope. No, you didn't. Look, 6 ,000 people on Lexicon. A meteor strike collapses their environment. They had maybe a week left of habitability. Where did they go? Nobody knows. That's one story. You can hear stories like this on Geneva Boss, Chance Rygard Station, the mother of Pearl, was about to get sucked into a magnetar, then suddenly, poof.

1:03:45I hear the pilot's name is Kyle, the interstellar highwayman. Fuck off. I hear the mess hall sells existential pancakes. I mean, Virg, you don't have tons of convincing evidence here. Okay. Well, look, I may have some intel on this. There's a whole network of people out there who look at deep scanning data and try to look for traces of the true trans traveler. I got in touch with an old contact and they gave me three hotspots where I could wait for the true trans traveler and try to send a message. One of those hotspots isn't far from here. Honey. It'll be okay. Sorry, this doesn't sound like much of a plan, Virg.

1:04:31Well, it's not a plan yet. You know what we need right now? Everyone's being too nice. We need a real asshole in this conversation. I'm sorry, am I being too nice? I can be worse. You're a little too squishy, Leif. We need a king jackass in here. June, what are you talking about? She's talking about me. All hail the king! I think one thing is fundamentally clear. Verge doesn't listen to me, despite what I say. In light of that, anything I have to say in this room will be ignored. In terms of the True Trans Traveler, here are the facts. Does it have all the hallmarks of a folktale? Yes, it does.

1:05:16Thank you. There is, however, one distinct difference. Tales and vague reports of the True Trans Traveler are more prevalent than you would expect from some sort of myth in the forest. There are also unexplained reports across the triad, and they all have a certain similarity. People will show up after a disaster expecting piles of bodies, and they will simply not be there, as if they were magically whisked away. That's pretty thin. It's exceedingly thin, Leif. But let us look at what Verge is actually asking. Are they asking us to go all in on some sort of galactic folktale? No, they are not.

1:05:56All they are simply asking is to take a few days, go to a particular spot in this galaxy quite nearby, and wait. If Verge returns from this little excursion with no new information, then we're back to where we started. Do I have opinions of this plan? Oh, you bet your sweet bippy I do. However, I must say Verge is approaching a very thin, as you say, solution with a very responsible attitude. My take on this issue is the following. Virg and myself will go to these designated coordinates. We will wait for a satisfactory amount of time. If no contact is made, we return and go back to the drawing board.

1:06:37This is my official pronouncement as King Jackass. Well, from down here, it sounds great. I say we go for it. What do you say, Frank? Frank, what I will say is that after we all viewed that footage of the slave encampment, everyone in Hood's pocket except for Mr. Grumpy over there is feeling a particular way about it and is now exploring ways where something can be done. This does, of course, include you, Frank.

1:07:12How long? Just a few days. Okay, and no funny business. Who, me? Meeting adjourned. Frank, pick me up. Nope. Bastard. Hey, um, kind of freaking out. I know, babe. Um, but when we decided to do this, did we think it was going to be safe? I know. These coordinates have a shelf life. I need to go gas up the hot rod. I love you. I love you. Come here. Get a room I'll bring you back a space rock Frank with Virg and myself gone We'll take the network with us You won't be able to hear my voice for a few days Jesus Christ, Eldon, you should have led with that Parents are out of town, let's party Let's do this

1:08:15Come in. Hi. Hello. Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for... Oh my God, what are you wearing? What? What is this? It's Wednesday. I don't understand what that... What does that mean? It means it's Wednesday. What? Do you forget literally everything I tell you? I 100 % try to, yes. My boyfriend? You know, he's a... bit of an anachronism. To say the least. But I want to be supportive. So on Wednesday nights, I, you know, play along. Play along? Yeah, I put on a little outfit and I play along. Oh, good God. Do you want to know what my name is? Nope, I do not. Not at all. Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars.

1:09:11Yeah, I did not need to know that at all. What's up? What do you need? Uh, nothing. Nothing. I just wanted to... Honestly, thanks for today for... I'm glad you're here. I know you are, dummy. Where would you be without me? Well, with a working motel staff, probably. Boring. Good night. Good night. You're... you could barely walk today. You're really going to wear those boots all night? Girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Besides, they'll be in the air most of the night anyway. Hell! Oh, my God. Oh, God. Because of the sex, Frank. Understood. And no thank you. Because of all the sex I'll be having.

1:09:59Yep. Yep. Okay. Oh. Well, there's a ruined night.

1:10:14Frank! Hey. Frank. What are you covered in? Mud. Mud? Frank, I fucking found them.

1:10:50Hey. Hey. What's going on? Nothing. Just going for a walk. I didn't know you smoked. I don't really. Only when Verge is gone? You two are pretty ridiculous. I know. Slow night? It always feels like a slow night when June's out of town. Where is she? Over at Tarvok's. Right. Wait. Is his name Tarvok or Tavrok? Oh, right. He changed his name a while back. I figured. But then we all kept fucking it up, so now he just answers to both. I see. Well, I can definitely relate to that. You're just out for a walk? Yeah. Is this what you do when you're worried? Not normally, but I used to live in a diner.

1:11:58Wasn't a lot of room to take walks. But you guys have all kinds of room, so... Yeah, I guess this is what I do now. I'm sure we're just gonna be fine. that's not what I'm worried about. Ah. You're still worried about the plan? It's not a plan, Deidre. Huh. You really don't think something like the true trans traveler can exist, huh? No. I think it's ridiculous. Okay. So, 1865, Jules Verne writes, From the Earth to the Moon. Yeah. I bet it sounded pretty ridiculous at the time. Sure. And then a hundred years later, we were standing on the moon. That's pretty cute, Deidre, but I'm afraid it just doesn't sell it to me.

1:12:53Well, sell it to me then. What do you mean? Well, I keep hearing about this big brain of yours. So take it out for a spin. You explain to me how the true trans traveler could exist. It can't. Give it a shot. Have you got something else to do tonight? You want me to come up with a theoretical true trans traveler? If anyone can do it, it's you, right?

1:13:30Fine.

1:13:34The True Trans Traveler is apparently a very large ship that can't be detected. The main way you detect a ship in deep space is through its drive plume. The fire coming out of the back of the ship. So to be undetectable, you need to not have a drive plume. So how does something not have a drive plume? It's pretty impossible. You could use a solar sail. Solar sails are great. They're very efficient. You feel like Errol Flynn. But even though the acceleration is near infinite, it's also incredibly slow acceleration. And it's not a viable way to travel through space. so then I guess you could think about an antimatter engine nobody uses antimatter engines they're very expensive and they're very slow it's the equivalent to a hot air balloon in the triad they're slow because of particle scatter it's incredibly hard to focus the force out of the back of the ship you get energy dispersed in a particle scatter from the engine.

1:14:55And it...

1:15:00Uh-oh. You eventually get a cloud of particulates that surrounds your ship. Is this what it sounds like when you have an epiphany? It's not an epiphany. What is it then? I mean... I guess if you took an antimatter engine and you deliberately jacked up the particle scatter, the ship would go even slower. But you would be surrounded by a cloud of particulates. Deep space scanners are an automated system. They automatically dismiss natural objects. Natural objects like asteroids and comets. comets that are always surrounded by a cloud of particulates. Hmm. Sounds like we're getting warmer. I suppose you could possibly orchestrate an antimatter engine that deliberately covers you in a cloud of particulates, getting automated systems to dismiss you as a comet.

1:16:09Really? Theoretically, Deidre. Theoretically, it's just a theory. So is gravity.

1:16:23It's a fairy tale, Deidre. Well, maybe a little less so now, though, right?

1:16:33That was very sneaky of you. Yeah, well, Verge said sometimes you're so smart that you outsmart yourself. yeah come in have a beer all right

1:17:13I'm surprised you let me do this. I can't control what you do. You have your ways, though. I could see which way the wind was blowing. Better to help everyone find the best way to do this than try and convince them not to do it. You think this is the best way of doing things? Virg, of course it isn't. The true trance traveler doesn't exist. Oh, then what am I doing out here, Eldon? In intractable situations, it's better for people to feel like they're doing something, even if what they're doing is fruitless. Back on Earth, at the advent of the atomic age, schoolchildren would do drills. An alarm would sound, and they would all get under their desks.

1:17:59Getting under their desks to protect themselves from a thermonuclear blast. Fruitless. But I'm sure it felt good to do. Ugh. You know, you've got no imagination, Eldon. Of course I don't have an imagination. I'm a fucking computer.

1:18:24Do you think I was too hard on him? Life? Yeah. Hard to say. Throughout history in the Triad, horrific weapons normally aren't made by warmongers, they're made by people like Leif. People who simply cannot resist the pull of one thought leading to the next. Despite how horrific the outcome they seem, carried along like a thread pulled by a needle. Emblematic of that fact, it's the second doomsday device he's made in his lifetime. First the Tedslayer, now the Cowcatcher. but you were right not to turn him away. I don't know. Something I observe in him, in all humans, really, but with him it's very pronounced.

1:19:19They need each other, humans. They languish on their own. Their soul arises from naturally evolving communities rather than from isolated individual reasoning. Without each other, they become disoriented, lost. They call it communitarianism. The Vapians called it Vichesh Vial, the mind of the many.

1:19:47Which you would know if you knew anything about your culture. My culture consists of Vapis 10's big black gaping hole. Vapis lives, Virg.

1:20:05Contact 218. Where? I don't see anything. Not do I. Performing diagnostic. Nothing. It's probably nothing.

1:20:44Thank you.

1:21:22Motherfucker.

1:21:40Welcome to the Horizon is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Wilson, Billy, Bert Bert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Hestadon Neprathum, Flashcards, A &K, Nicole Dyke, A Resting Place for Weary Beans, Shane Hopkins, Juniperb with the Backward Sneeze, Eve in the Between Hour, Two-Faced Janice, Zez Maldo, The Original Penguin, Slight Burn, Scott Adkins, Kelsey Monette, Amethyst Dragon with Tiger Eyes, Martell McKinney, Spitboy the Spit Guy, He Spits, Ice Queen, Laser Girl, and The Nurse. Where are our oars? Caddy B, Andrea Williams, Go Ask Alice, West Kester, Saves the World.

1:22:21Valen's three cats stacked atop each other wielding a plasma gun. Jeffrey, Purple Nurple Nullifier, Scam Likely, Oops, Wrong Podcast, Reaper's Past, Late Indeed Again, Samuel Minow, Brigitte, Spadius, Squiddy, The Frosthunt Scientific Collective. Two of us have PhDs and the third has memorized all of Ava's dialogue.

1:23:07Kitten Go Purr. Ted Ted and Teddy. Bethany, who showed up late to the war and decided to eat pine cones with the mungo. Michelle. Parker Berry. Don't actually say this part of my name. Just say my name, please. Dr. LL, your Jamaican fan, says Wagwan. Raptors in the kitchen. People died. Tula Blue and 142 Boogaloo. Pistol Pete and Death Lotion. Intergalactic Transdimensional Burger Pirate. Ace Spades. Debbie Trencher. That one dude who likes tacos. Mark, please contact us regarding your username. Let's work together on this.

1:24:04blues. Liz wants Leif to build her a plane. Dude named Blake. John Caleb Williams. Doistopian Wasteland. Yontalius. Keon. Walter the Burger Wizard. An eel exchange student from Midst. Dapperty last name. Rattrick. Richland like rich land but without the D. Dyer. All Bethany's must do the hustle. Brad Sturrock. Natasha without Boris. Frost and Alice. Lobster Possum. Known. Coyote Mike is on the run from the Bethany's and is looking for the resistance. Not a who but a What archivist? A mostly morose ghost eating toast. Hey, Leander. Love you, kiddo. Malort boy. Jinx the cat would like to offer you biscuits.

1:24:41Have a zesty day. Retro G86. Megan. Malcolm Edwards. Spend my money irresponsibly. Steven Drop. Dana Thaniel. Send son of Dana Thaniel or Danny for short. Cross Stitcher who loves the hobby and time travel. Funch Brunglin. Mrs. Nova Scotia. Nash likes apples. Njord Flanders warns Tarvok that Odin is watching. Pneumatic Yeti. Late Trucker, The Eldritch Skyphozoa, Wyatt Fryhover, Paul, James Bell, Dave Davison, Broom Goddess, Theodore and the Sons of Ted, Ricky Burnett, That New Guy, Aimsiety, DeSavageIndian, Raid808M, Hayden Brown, Gray Craniac, Jules Weeks, Calf, The Generous Patient Rose, John Wilkes Booth's freedom-loving horse, aka Jay Willikers, Mr.

1:25:28Ratskirt, the emo Sigma Lightworker, neckbone his Imperial dudeness. Oh hey, it's Jay. Lou the Ghost, Cinder and Beast of the Maze are in the Deep Freeze. Grim, off the internet, wants Harriet to know that he loves her. Ernie Brooks, Titan King 707, Rich Francis, Burger Kaspaspa, no relation. Jedi Shaolin, Smart Alec the Great, Gas Station Cryptid, Lord Kennedy. Shane needs to stop driving the infinite loop in Laurel Canyon so he can go to Tom Bergen's and search for his missing Shamrock. Deus Kashk, Bird Bird the Birds Bird, Cheesy McFish, Papa Goose, Sometimes I Do Feel Like a Plastic Bag, A Very Spicy Walrus, Amanda Bill's Misty Word Power, Casper's Danish Moose, Flacco aka Johnny R the Disco Spider, The Missile Wanes Against Ted, Vicky Hebert, Pike Daniels the Cosmic Whale, Zan Satsu, Mr.

1:26:21and Mrs. Van Lieberlost, Murdoch Wang, Caterpillar Farmer. The Monte Cristo Peace Committee is currently investigating Joe Fisher for his part in exacerbating the Bethany War. Chimera, Don Moat, Daniela Yacom, the space trucker Chadwick Conan Doyle III, Jody Green, Monster Senshi, Heather Needs a Divorce, Michael Peters, Political Knitter. Seasonal Sasquatch silently seeks secret society so special souls softly sing sweet songs, smartly stirring strong stories. Live on the Undersignal, FlatDug with the weather. Physicist, Brendan Schoenman, Bob Lobster. I divided by zero and now I'm undefined.

1:26:58Peter, the horse is here. Mag Tremor, Rod Stewart, the sailor slayer. James We Met, the listless enjoyer. Emily Catterton, Ash Morningstar and her companion, Laika the space dog. Miss Maxine, Evan the juggler said I was his favorite because I let him raise the hydrate price. So I will be doing it again. Sorry, not sorry. David Kiesler, pronounced Key-slur. Boy got them honka-honkers. Kevin O'Malley, Invisible Guerilla. The Mrs. Poland, Zemaniac. Lord Axton shares the realm with Lady Sparkle. Hop loves a thugbot named Francis. Pam the Infinite. And Thou, Revolutionary Inclined Ocelot. Matt Howler, Andrew Bear.

1:27:36Marius De Joa, Butterfly Fox, Congregation of Alligators Wearing Groucho Glasses. Irma the Llama, 27 Keep It Tight. Chip, Gloria's right hand jack-in-the-box man. G-A-L-D-E-N. Grim Knight, Pike Daniels the Whale, Caldrak, Anthoseles Bethany Maximus, Lord of Kingwood, Texas, Ragnar Jensen, Addison Weirdo Wagner, Shua the Druid is composting the rich for a salad bar, Aramand0305, Leaf is my role model, Jim Weathers, Titus Koslov, Ashes of a Burnt Out Leaf, I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind, Brandon Alexander Ragsdale, aka Thor, You're all fully loved and known truly. Also, Labuza's voice is so very beautiful, I think it...

1:28:20The Intergalactic House of Cats demand a free Palestine. Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Cory Sensus, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Djinn, Red and Dusty with his Garden Goddess, Kobe's Dingleberry, Mystic Monster of Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Rave Hands Mally, G-Wing, Frank One, Figgy Aloysius, and the Ooni Moonies featuring Milo Kappa Kaiju. I'm just here to refill the Parmesan cheese. It is Sparks, Damn Scrub, Lost Girl Lou, Christopher Byram, Middle American Penguin, Shanna Welch, Crocheted Cosmos, Cookie Chunks, you heard? Andy the Celestial Penguin, Rabbit Homan, Leafs Bathrobe, Misty Lovebug, Bo Nunley, Ariana Castillo, The Eurasian Gosshawk That Portends Great Change, Lita Mettinger, Marco, Lethargic God, Friend, as in your best, Lime Ghost, M, Icky Blurgs, Jay the Irascible, the Magic Committee, Committee of Anything Magical.

1:29:13Honor Aubert. Ian Full, a river otter and their gender-neutral partner. 345 uneducated swine learning to swing dance. One intergalactic year with Big Potato 99, a.k.a. the Rat Lady, a.k.a. Bumblebee, a.k.a. AK-47. Kai, just a little guy. Ender Wright. Mark Nazawaritz. Xenia, the Capturer of Light. Duncan Albert, theoretical chemist. Xavier Dasher, Chris Loves to Read, Katie Michalik, Greg Andrews Lyons, Just Matt 85, That Girl Gracie, Magnus Von Kaffenheim, Saucy Lil Beast, Andrew Height, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Son, Jennifer Myers, Lady Lazarus, Anazi, Lord of Stories, Tom, Donnie Darko, a.k.a.

1:29:58Darko the Destroyer, Tom Shen, Caitlin and CT's Neverending Podcast Adventures, Whisper Dan, Kyo the Panda Puppy Forklift Operator, Ruby Cherries, Nick Faye, Buttholan, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Pen Pen, Ring to the Motahs, The Leathermans, Lukewarm Fart, Odd Commodity, Jen Before, Ander Ho, Casper, Baby Leaf, Baby Leaf, has my laser saw? Earth Witch, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmull, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapiza, Dimension Spanning, Time Traveling Little Guy, Iono, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr. Put It On 06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the Podcast Lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, damn glad to meet you, Malcolm Flynn, Samuel Lee, Josetron Prime, oh my god I forgot to change my name from Nicholas Beckler to something more cheeky and fun, Arwen the Freer, ThroatGoat666IAMYOURFATHER, Addie Slauson, InconceivableKai, RedRoom916, Nick Waycaster, Gotham still fucked up, Batman really ain't doing shit when you think about it, NoGoodMonk, Rye, yes, like the bread.

1:31:01Sarmad Sayed. Pugalicious Freshington III, Esquire. Three pandas in a trench coat named Bethany. Jhonald Grimbus. Matt Knight Bushager. Kevin Maury. Damn Eitri. Andromeda. Stephen the Choi. Gloria's authentic earth coffee. Gabriel T. Can someone find me the Parmesan? The treasure trove of troublesome trolls. You call her Bethany. I call her Hedphony. Cookie Nebu. Axel Zapata. Siona the Goblin loves spoons and laser saws. Jason McDonald, Orianda, Bean Dino, Philip Linick, Hugh Jass, J2, Brian Montgomery, Artemis Record, Safa Aluzzi, Trev Brax, Gunnar Tweedle, The Bard Without a Ballad or a Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism Burn Museum Theorist, Hold Please, K.

1:31:47Kayow, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Noop, Kiki's Best Friend Would Like to Go to Breakfast, Bubber Duckle, Yegor Luce, Terry Cadds, The Bethany's Demand More Omega Station, Leif Tracks, The Rise of Leif, Chapter One, Loaf Tracks Retires, The Prodigal Elem, Catalyst for Chaos, Sculliver, Cat Lucido, Sam and Shane, Ahsoka Likes Hugs, Going Anonymous, Thee, Ryan Abbey, Thomas Adams, Drink Spiller, Stephanie Buk, Entropy Eigenbasis, Andrea Crowther, Martin Dears, Kevin Daughtry, Dee Flower, Two Daddy Jazz Hands from Mouse Toots, Dan Gentry. I hope something good happens to you today.

1:32:26Yes, you. V Greenlee, Ron Hayden, Michelle Hopper, Jake the Cook, Josie Jones, Boot Scootin' Dave, Anthony Lakey, Britt Littlefair, T.U. Luder, Some Days You're the Beetle, Some Days You're the Dung, Lauren Mayer, Glenn Morris, Richard Ryan Mochelle, Michelle Myers, Ali Oopsie, Not to be Confused with Oopsie, Fridge Pickle, Rosemary Prim, Robert Savat, Lizard Lee, Eliza Sharp, Donald Shingler, Daniel Stavvy, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Rachel Vasquez, Luca Vichito, Naya Venturi, the beloved yet borderline inappropriate empire of Dr. Thunderbutt and Lady Christabel, Justin Wiley, Brett Zimmerman, Ma Dukes, U.S.

1:33:02Marshal Stacy, ooh, chickadee, Terran of the Guild of Free Cartographers, Dango Dale, Esty, not the website. At every moment in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home and it's already found you. Ciao Paolo Lemos, Odd Keep the Sentient Lighthouse, the faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home. DeShane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer, Doggo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Brisket. It's official, they're called Fagronis. Kevin Winans, Marlon C., Just Whelmed, Madame Perry, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnese West, Knox, Lisa Liu, Emmett Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emery and Lano, James Miles, Browncoats Love the Diner, House Chaos and the Critter Cacophony, Max and Nia and Ivan Six?

1:33:51Seven? Nope, it's Mark. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald and Misty Dawn Mitchell Jr., Gaia Turtle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine Are Free, Pluto Crow, Nissy's Mom, Pokésplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gen Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency. Zephyr Vitriol. Altreon. Slim Nandy. Gough Leif. Jen and Brit. Adriana Bartolomucci. Jonah is Gay. The Midnight Ashes. Hornetti. Balian Fair. The Night of Silver Flames. Hood's Pocket Protector. Unpaid intern passed the RD exam and got a job. Valkyrie Storm. Patricia Who's Always Late But Somehow On Time.

1:34:29DC Squirrel. Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman. Shelley Act on the Verge. Gale Friend. Rubber Cake. Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Croc-A-Gator, Ringleader Volt, Jazz Punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Agent Night Breakfast, Braddy for Mission Control, Renee N., Bethany the Lone Star Edition, Katerina de la Playa, R.I.P. Eloise Waffles, The Floof Wrangler, Aki the Space Druid, There Are Only 176 MB Fan Fiction, and One Bethany, Phantom Land TTRPG Dice, K8 the Curiouser, Roxanne, Ash Montgomery, The Boggiest of Birches, Jason HVAC Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr the Weffer Montgomery Foxworth, Maryface, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole64, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Glorious Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, The Judah, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Fry Lord, Gravity's optional but fries aren't, CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Evil, The Cat, Stephen Raymer, J.

1:35:41Carp Fishman, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, Nye, Lilac Morcella, Rachel Krempa, with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband Steve, don't worry about the order, honey. Your Majesty, Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Dr. Flogg wants Tita to return his voicemails, Mags, Captain No Sleep, The Slim Reaper, Reuben Eden, Smedley P. Snodgrass III, but please, call me Smeddy, The Shreveport Bohannans, Cece the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury's Sasquatch loads Chekhov's gun and rides to join Bethany's army, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmogest and Hossfest, Mousy, Hood's Pocket Gear and Sprocket Local Repair Cafe, Postmaster General Kwan sent me Mad Maddox Blake Basmagian Nitwit14 Royaled way too harshly DJ Johnny B Fish Joeer Marco Montano No longer doing a bit Shiny Fields Adam Tachek Christopher Wendell Unproductive Banana Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism Zombie Spider-Man The Sorcerer Sanguine says Brain Demons is an anagram of Brandon is me Bex823 Antecrypted Barry Heap Gas Mask Penguin In the Hot Seat Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Master Oogway, Barry, Dillia's Dallying, Podcast Junkie Wants Gloria's Tamale Recipe, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibristo, Slider, Malachi, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana, the new kitten's name is Leif and this time he's not a girl, Physic the Good Bush, definitely not one of the bad bushes funding rebel Bethanies to overthrow the duly elected Bethanies, Hexadecimal Bethany is non-bindible Vapus 10's Big Black Gaping Hole.

1:37:24The Planet Gubrius wants to know if Croc is a crocodile or a proper gator. Bruce, Jessica Gigoma, Torical, Jenny the Bear, agar. Bell Ringer, Sardine Thorne, Treach. Josie Jones, Mr. Fibble is very cross, Haute Potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list, endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bert Bert's caboose until its end lists all the way down. Dave and Buster's Server Manager, ready to serve all the Bethany's a Monte Christos. Blind Time Traveler Convention Date LA Woman The Phoenix Rising New Name? God No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure. Jeff Andrew Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs Cup of Noodles Schmizzy Two-Shoes Luna Nova Nicholas Griffith Matt Grigsby Justin Smolin Riku31 Craig Dundee The Name's Night with a K Astral Sea Ickle Me Pickle Me Tickle Me Too Guy With The Chops Sam Mitchell Yee Bagel Knife Imelda and Scott Courtney Cochran Lily Starling Ryan Kay Devin7777 has been my fave verbal stim for months.

1:38:24Nate, Forklift lifts forks for Cliff. Vence M, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves MIDI, Brian Pasley, Subawasa, Grinna, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Old Man Dagwood. Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all receipts. Love, Josh from Accounting. Satsuma, Silliest Goose, Dr. Jones, Icy Axe, Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes! Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Cassade! Norwin Murgler, Chase and her army of turtles join the Bethany War. You've all been assigned to write a four-page essay on your favorite Arthropod. It will be 50 % of your grade.

1:39:04Joe Cuppa, wee bitch hoppin' broccoli! Icy Fish, the hacker known as Ivy de Burb, Edwin McDonald, a feisty-ass chickadee, Poultry Landmine, the Scrappy Poet, Jenny the Cryptid Paladin, Maverick Artist, Shit, it was a mimic. Basil in their tea, waiting to gossip with David. Ainsley, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. Angnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovelybead, Zoe. Professor Freda, Dr. Professor Reverend Bethany Wethany Lethany Woofie McFluffenberger, MD, PhD, Esquire, and that's not a pretentious name at all, Claire Mathrote, is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago.

1:39:41Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson Twote, Still trapped, but I've stopped asking why. The freezer is. I am. We chill. Son of Defarge. Wisco Teach. Scott A. Snellgrove. Give peas a chance. Samalim a ding-dong. Behold Lady Sarah Purr of Whiskervale. Countess of Wood Hollow. Mistress of the Whispering Pines. And beloved by all creatures small and opinionated. Ricardo Galamba. Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC. Hashtag we weave em of gossamer. Deeringer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck. Kentex Oridian, Cherry Applebee, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Topher Hart the Gay, Saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen is a Verge fanboy, MickJ67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim-jim.

1:40:28Is this thing recording? Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries. Sir Dred Morsebiba is wondering if Bethany likes night breakfast. Lord Entropy. Bok Bok Motherfucker. The Fae Wanderer. Everybody's Favorite Clown Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Psycho Queen, Kosher Steak, For the Last Time It's Gabriel Strife, Don't Tavrock Stormbringer Mejo, Alyssa Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles for Tits, Arnold Rumspringer, The Demise of the Temple of Bethany's, Alan Berglund says, Hi Mom! Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, Hapless Novelist Passenger of the Dimensionally Impermanent and Temporally Incontinent Bookshop Cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javi De Niro, Big Chunk, Gadeeds, Sasha of the Being of Chaos was not involved in the Bethany Crisis.

1:41:22Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Will the Real Muad'Dib Please Stand Up, Jillian C, Udon96, Benjamin Not Franklin, Tracy Baby, Leia, Is That the Chris Hancock Who Traded Weekly Soup for the Use of My Kitchen Table? A Singular Nightbird, Bethany Reading in a Green Field, I Am the Lizard Frantically Firing Flechette Guns, Bumblefay, Mr. Epsilon, The Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W., Brielzebub, Krezimira, James Bariano, Jessa Lorin, Mayday Hoops, The Bean Wizard, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Mugglewains, Lulu Louise, Dulio, The Brew Crew Family, Burt Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Whimsy, Ellie, Don't tariff me, bro.

1:42:06Oopsie! Evelyn. The Wizard Mooses holds out their cat for you to pet. Grimlor. Existential Pancakes. Genua Boom. Errant Popsicle Stick. M Horowitz. Isle of Refuge. Jack Spider's Mom. Bubble Butt Bethany Has Banana Breath. Llama Fresh. Jer the Benevolent Destroyer. Valtiel Heller. Revan the Redbeard Wizard. Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch. Corora the Twelfth. Zomcon. Bethany 2. Electric Boogaloo. Welcome to the Kwan Pound. Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. If Mr. Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel caught an owl after dark, would he be a midnight birder? The wolves in the deep freeze say, A-woo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans.

1:42:46Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, I pushed her because Joe said so. Even older Liz, McBearcat, Grack Pinfeather, Sitican Druidic Scientist, Astro, your friendly neighborhood android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Recy, the Midnight Missionary, out there somewhere looking for ya. Rotten Ronnie sleeps in Grandma Panties. Skowonky! Artist Dragonborn. Bigby Garage. Bill Zang and Alester. Joaquin Jimenez. Big MF Juice the SIP. Muffins. Space Wives. Chad Hatter, the Cosmic Teammaker of the Triads. Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the Robot. Tell your cat, I said. Banana Manaz. A Corgi called Kibble.

1:43:28Cuddly Kraken. Life's a Lode Studio. and his wife Meganator. Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Somenity, Rielfan, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, the other original Caitlin, Kin Daddy, Celestiani. The jaded Umbra gets slightly less jaded as Peace once again returns to the land. Leah Izadi, Millie Was Taken, Dead to Me 86, B Camp, Shanman Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Kinran is chilling at a moon base, Zoe and her army of mice, Briar Long Lost, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, Trixie Belle Dubois, Dr. Bootyologist the Glutes Doctor, the Hood's Pocket Actors Guild apologizes for our recent stage adaptation of Lost in Space.

1:44:09You're right, it was too soon. Thank you for pressing two. Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Surly Jess, RIP Lance McClain, you would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Toklove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros Degad, the size two fish you've been looking for, Iokai, Borgia, Spiders Are Cuddly. The main immortal thinks it should be Ken Daddios. Chiel, Neil. Sin City Scuba Steve, Poliwog, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire, finally spots Red Nell as the carnage clears.

1:44:47Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII, Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, the real CheapCon, coming to you from the frozen Midwest wastelands, except no imitations. Steamvision, conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train. Dave Harreld, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Runt. Bromine, pronounced bro-mine, main-ham-dinga. Mother of Pearl, Fiona now owns Leaf's 18-inch Peter. Sealface, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes. Coilane, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Igneous Burp.

1:45:26Darth Ox, Michelle K. Comes in Peace, Aaron Arnold, Boyoyoyoyoyoyoying, as in Boingy, Mamamander and Papa Bear Wish B-Raz a Very Happy Second Birthday, Alpaca Lips, I'll Take One Butter in Brie on Rye, Please, Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, The Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas's Ten Tenebrous Tan Staffel Tippers Treading Treacherously Tantamount to Telling Totalitarian Trope Termination Tales, The Lovely Laura Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Sam Wise's Flamin' Cousin, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Goat She, Charles Robert Darwin III, Esquire, PhD, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear, Scrubs, Becky, Just Some Guy from Adelaide Named Ryan, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says hawoof, whiskered, any two hands for the double high five, Marissa the Ghost, local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you.

1:46:29Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Ol' Kelsey No-Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, We Serve Everyone Eventually. Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, aka Br 'er Rabbit, Pants Darts Champion, the constantly lost geographer, Timothy Aotis. Chance wants you to know he cares. Wolf Stark, Elliot, Hobbs DeCoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mubi the Golden Calf, Kirion the Asteroid Wrangler, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K Narcotics, Solomon Price, A Daydream You Won't Escape, Angela Sanchez, Ava M, Bubba 485, aka Schimmelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Sommelier, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer.

1:47:21Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magus, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley, Mr. Steamwave, My Friend the Rhino reminds you it takes strength to be gentle and kind. Hoop challenge!

1:47:45Dream Founder, I'm your Huckleberry, Elizabeth T, Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke, Grandpa Gus, Boombastical Kim Licker, Coco Yumi is Painting Ponies, Hug-A-Muffin, Big Foot of Doom, DL, Annie Atkins, Crandyman the Pug Whisperer, Garo, our cat said to tell you, meow, ya boy of indeterminate origin, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog President, Pop Rock Quicksand, The Benny Yapper has frozen. Please send help, please. Mr. Squizzle, Sizzle, Whizzle, Fizzle, the horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for tea are being sent now. Abanasso, Trina Ward, Adalor, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, the McJimmy's from your local dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Lane Kiffin is a hoe, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaws, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chiss Alfridge the Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelli, Jonathan K, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron95, Happy 13th Birthday Danny, Dance Break!

1:49:06Speak who the bracken system in its home world. Ren simply Tony. It will always be Finley's work hole to me. If you know, you know, Gabrielle Castillon, whom, what, when, where, and why is what all the groney say while listening to midnight burger, a drum major in a trapeze artists walk into Connie's bar, sir. Party animal byro, the motherfucking dragon of the Shreveport. The motherfucking dragons, Uloy Jackal Are you sure you Mike Robb the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Cat with a K. My Thigaroni has a first name. Stombenstein L. Mustachio Lukifer Hezekiel La Chihuahua Brava Adeline Peets CC Carousel Korth the Destroyer Honest Puck Casper's Mom's a MILF Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava Red Nell hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire.

1:50:00Kordomsky. Craig Armstrong. Plastic Fork. Dulcet Deleche Studios presents Under the Truskin Sun. Get out of my booth. Bug. Propagator. I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crab Man. Chuck McFinley. Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes. Velocity Girl 42. Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats. Ben Carlyle. Flat Steve's love for grand theft. Anna Kearney. Crashly Strange Lilia. The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse. Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino and her Hand-Me-Down Frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallo Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's Wife, Cernoculus the Space Knight, Skrizzles, Thwap, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Firekeeper, The End Is Nigh, Jeremiah the Cancelled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Johnny Allen West and the Boys from the Dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Brandi Gunter, Auntie Becky is owned by Five Rescue Cats, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade Shortsword, Forget Normal, A Damn, CJ Johnson, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wumbo, Pikachu, Smivey, Glowbed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Ban Mihoong, The Soup Witch, Bender FTW, Fetishini Alfredo, Cowboy and Sasquatch Hunts Bethany's, Pebbles, Vivi, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip, Your Dad Is Not Your Dad, Nick Bowe, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.

1:51:29Hamilton Underfoot, Kitty I, and Accomplice Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass Is In The Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Cat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, Lavinia, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christy, Yeet My Boy, 46 Tool Shed 2 and El Marie Catastrophe. The Image Collector, Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel. Patricia E. Melt, Missed Everyone. A round of yargs on the house. Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.

1:52:08Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Dunord, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Theodrax, Joey B, Lucas Barding, Little Debbie Cupcake. Taryn says, Hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandalwood Mountain offers peace for your soul. Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H. Hey, it's Warranty Lady. Look, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit. I need more. Patricia the Time Lord. Is it though? Mango Connoisseur. Pretty Bug and The Quirky Jester. The Big Moose Demands Justice for Betty and Malu. That old Glory Cole. GL Meownaise Cat Butler. O'Sheen Liu. Alex Berry. Andrew Oakden. Asymmetrical Exile.

1:52:45Churro Cat the Sun God. Eliza Travels the Universe. Alex Spence. Dr. D. Birdcloth's Weather. and Mrs. Duboptaway Birdcloth Spweather want to say hello to the whole Spweather family. I lost my galaxy britches in a game of pants darts, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, the Wild Thistle, most likely Cass, James Harlow is still sad about missing Burger Con, the sweet planetary aroma of Fiona's grilled cheese sandwiches, Jasmine James, Dr. Caber Ant, also known as Omni, thanks Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr and the Witch's Den, Annatha Zenria Jennifer Calkins Midday Burger Don Parks ThroatGoat666 Oh my god my dad found out about my Patreon name Princess Leia Fish in a Bag September Previously observed in the pattern Prime Freak Protector of the Scottish realm Lil Lord Stevie Pie Droid Pirate Finley And his Rubenesque parrot Droid Pirate Finley And his Rubenesque parrot Stuck in a pit of Skittles Sea Squatch Deflator Mouse Tony Piekarski Adrian R The Devil from Table 12 Javier, Crazy Thadley, Crimulus is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twigster, Faye Queen, Oop Schnart, The Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, C.R.

1:53:59Iptid, For My Mother, C.C.T.X, Girl 6823 Waiting on the Diner, Nicole Studioso. The following sound effect is just called Two Men Fighting with Shovels.

1:54:17droid pirate finley and his rubenesque penguin truck stop sandwich indigo escargot love my captain joe mauma wandering biscuit castriff aims affection for internet protection retro mg night script widget the world watcher wearing a waistcoat and wig banana na na na na i wanna la la la banana. Uhtred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Not sure what I'm doing. River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Rubid Clamso, Turwin, Hugh the Mini Mungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme, and Queen Lancaster, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucien Thunderstruck, Ho ho, ma mama.

1:55:08Glorbnar 7 now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Dooser now identifies as Roman Durge, The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May. Minsky Enterprises is excited to announce that Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, has been named its exclusive provider of logistics services. Silly Willy Bubble Butt, Sierra Not From Arkansas, Ziku. Ebenizer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Flu Flossed in Time, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up, The First Descendant, Kringle Over Coffee, Mad Yogi Eileen, A Cat Named M, Petito Pato, Palace, Big Mo, Demonic Narwhal 8, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed, I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift, The Stone Fox.

1:55:56Trisha Schaefer says, Ew, David, that is not a taco. Sylvia, Juicetin, Papitos, Krakow Hauer, Henry the Goose, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, I am a bomb till I think of something better to do. Britwards. Hotshot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon says, What? Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvie, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Vaughn Vega, Dixie Dinah, 7 ,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Oboe, Dusty Ventures and his pilot Uzi, Drifting Through Space, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbiest Painter and Her Bird of Fire, Wandering Winjoe, Painted Oni, Q Del, Pharrell, Emily with Two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble?

1:56:54Jackie Wavelet. Yayoi Gagarin. Dee Greitzler. A Gremlin with the Munchies. Michelle Scaracchio. Genuine Jacob. Andy's Brain is Weird. Space Rooster Randy. Leopard Donut. Poofy Thang. Mellow Nuggets. Keychain Crap. Mat Mac Sharkman. Steelo. Bumbling Lilybee. A quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup. I think about switching back to tea sometimes, but then I'm like, you know, who's got the time? Bufardese Nuts. Panda. Curtis Lelig. Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stolz, Dalen Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, R-Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, The Ornamental Hermit, Jay to the Lynn, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, What the Hell, Cineplex, and All the Black People in North Carolina, Just Rachel, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava's Cigarette Ash, Hugh Biffed It, A-Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtacs, The Shape-Shifting Sad Girl, and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again.

1:57:52Pipola Skin in the Pippi Pond. Sarah Nicole, The Kells Fights with the Bethanies. Angry Leafs Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, Descendant of the Spweather Catfish Whisperer. Skeksis, Vagabond Mary, Randy's Amigo, Bold Mouse, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid, and the delinquent duo. Norman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger, reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake. Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nortlebash, Jordan, Arwen X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium, Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweizen, Monica and Mason K.

1:58:33In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of Jameses, a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Leif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Arianne can't manage normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, Dr. Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing into My Farm Boots, Superbeth Becomes an RN, alongside My Bootstup Friend, Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosign, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen, Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Captain Scott, Letty Lou, Kinger Was Here, Bobby Ray Winland Jr., Bebop Be Dabba Doo Wop, Warped Echoes, Slabs McTerps, Lord Robear Otardis Wishes Your 2026 to Be Bigger on the Inside, Jeremiah Franco, Justin, The Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, says happy birthday, brookie boo, Cody Buclure, McHadley, Eternal Companion, Maxime Lizotte, Jinkalos, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Hasmatilda, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am A Leif On The Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M.

1:59:39Dobson, Dave B., Nobby, Your Friendly Neighborhood Pathologist, Going To Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L., Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Externally Screaming, But Bethany, I Made Biscuits, Scebo and Fuzzle McBumpernets, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senatus Teleporting, BRB. The Shanes are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us and it is concerning. Definitely not an android, seriously I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tulkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobana Fee-Fi Fofana, Dad and Aubrey the Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffleupagoose, Dameron the Space Goblin, Eye So Pale, I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join, my cat's name is Beef, Kitty Kate, Get Your Colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemely, Work for Melvis, Boho go bye bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no go bro.

2:00:44Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Rudel, Kyle Perino, AK, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi. The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the Creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Lil Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, deaf allergic to Bethany Stew. Two Polar Cat is seeing a doctor to get estrogen in a couple of weeks and is very nervous, excited about it. Carl, the teller of dad jokes, Skylab's multidimensional, multiphasic, intergalactic, quantum cyberverse, VerdeSoul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngin, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suasion, the wizard's supercalifragilistic expialidocious, and introducing Recy Pontiff as the 27th Doctor.

2:01:57Too many jams! Honk Honk, Admatha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saberwolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters Precious, It's Just Steve, Sweets Martinez, Sharnobyl 610, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, Binbar, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasen, Vyrestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Nicole, I love you, but I will name kid too. Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Nellie G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantoms Moms, Callison, Hornswoglin' Daniel Arthur, Mike LeCluzy, It's a Fucking Dog Rapture, Abigail LeHoux, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborn Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Duna, Alexica Habanera, Code Stranger, One Bet to Bet.

2:02:48Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

2:03:18Megan Okio, William Dyer, Vicki Hebert, Brad Minear, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain, Crazed Bear, Dr. Lattice Trash Angel action figures recalled after Flared Base Causes Moral Panic. Which craft is Crafty Lizard doing today?

2:04:10Tess, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome Mage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, To my little, you'll always be a good girl, you took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul, till we meet again. Sir Shitzalot strikes again, damn animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonga 2005, Cruisin' B. Anthony, Trix says wherp, Tybalt I, Xavier Romo, Allifrog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist says, ribbit. Courtney and Stephanie say, hello. The Fontucky Wrangler, Scrim Brulee, yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zuzanna, Celeste Yoss, I'm so Antigone fun.

2:04:51I'm Ava's evil twin sister, Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D 'Anomaly, Charmaine, K-On with Karma, Amanda Nock, The Wondrous Methasophon, Post-Turtle Evaluation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Trinket Coralie, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inshuldigum, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Names, there are so many, Good God!

2:05:39Chris from Tacoma, the real fairy godmother. Sir Alphonse Suitperson, Knight of Hood's Pocket, polished pauldrons pacing pine paths protecting pocket from sneaky skullduggery. Mitzi Liu, Kelsey Holm, still Casper's number one fan but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom. Amanda Marie Catherine, Damian the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Matt Mosby, Saint Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astrono-Weeb, Magno's The Civil Gnome, Welcome everybody, I'm Hydealon and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weezlaff, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q.

2:06:20Choi, A Bug Named Nat, C.C. Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Al Cockinator, Ron Was Here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Often Wrong Dan, Jess Gioia, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire will earn the pizza party this year. Creator 67, Bajolanth, Leif's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Raybourn, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthanomaly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and L.A., Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, Fuck Ice, Captain Blep, Evie Power, Terry, PJ Says What?, Amelia Lucero, et al., Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon, Blargo Blargo Blargo, The Jazz Man, Tonight at 11,

2:07:14Larac the Barbarianess, Hicks Bezzy Mates, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just Blake, Alice Malice apologizes for forgetting to change their name for an entire year, but at least it was fun, Kelly Jane Dankey, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornis Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that Ava, the one within.

2:07:43Grimm says, trans rights y 'all, Zachy Nat, underwater Corvid, Spizarinctum, Shakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Maroon My Salil, Grawlix and Tarobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, coming soon, Dances with Burritos, Guacked and Loaded. Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Myson, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Call Me Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, Bayangara Kadar Kollayer, Fred Fred Parker, What the Chuck, Sonona Sunod, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voorhis, Naya DeRusso, Peachy Zatuichi, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Jen Extranius, Trinket Coralie, Dancing Dog Dreams, an existentially exhausted being.

From the publisher

"It’s a fairy tale, Frank. It’s a story you tell kids so they won’t be afraid."

Cast:

Steve - Jessica Mudd

Eldin - Joe Fisher

Frank - Benjamin Burdick

Deidre - Tina Case

Verge - Cat Blackard

Leif - Tom Moorman

Doug - Keith Cable

Trinkett - Camille Smicker

Celeste - Cooper Shaw

June - Melody Bridges

Dirt Fairy - Finlay Stevenson

Written by Joe Fisher

Directed by Joe Fisher and Finlay Stevenson

Theme Song by Ian Ferguson

Episode Art by Existentially Exhausted Bean

Music:

In Low Frequency Love - rh3a bluu

Making the Trip Home - American Legion

Chromatic - Lukas Got Lucky

Prendia (Instrumental Version) - El Jiggy

3rd. Ave. Blues - Roots and Recognition

Forest Myths - Deskant

County Line - Roots and Recognition

Read and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/

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Ask about this episode

In short

Guest backgrounds

Key claims

Notable examples

Chapters

The City Beneath Rax Prime

Confrontation and Consequences

Plans for Action

A Plan to Rescue

Hiking Boots and Nostalgia

Cheesecake Snack Bar Memories

Bounty on a Head

Staging a Heist

The Daring Heist Plan

Reflections on Life and Change

Discussion of Change and Feeling Trapped

Navigating the City and Meeting the Dirt Fairy

Bartering for Help and the Quest for Dirt

Concerns and Decisions Under the City

Exploring the Mud and Its Mysteries

Observing Unique Characters and Their Stories

Character Banter and Planning a Drive

Assignment and City Exploration

Personal Reflections and Connections

The True Trans Traveler Legend

Skepticism and Folktales

Planning an Expedition

Emotional Goodbyes and Concerns

Supportive Exchanges

Debate on the Existence of the True Trans Traveler

Theoretical Mechanics of Space Travel

Human Nature and Community

The Burden of Knowledge

The Burden of Knowledge

Character Introductions and Lore

The Bethany War and Its Implications

A Gallery of Unique Characters

Whimsical Names and Their Stories

Intergalactic and Mythical Concepts

A Diverse Cast of Characters

Absurdity and Humor in Characterization

Engaging with the Audience

Final Character Revelations

Introduction of Characters and Names

The Society of Bethany and its History

Name Game Continues

More Whimsical Names and Greetings

Acknowledging Listeners and Characters

Celebrating Names and Characters

The Grand Finale of Names

Introduction of Characters and Elements

Narrative Interludes and Anecdotes

Group Dynamics and Emotional Support

Wrap Up and Future Directions

Transcript

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