Burnout To Balance

0:03Hunter Clarke-Fields:Welcome to the Mindful Mama podcast. Here it's about becoming a less irritable, more joyful parent. At Mindful Mama, we know that you cannot give what you do not have. And when you have calm and peace within, then you can give it to your children. I'm your host, Hunter Clark-Fields. I help smart, thoughtful parents stay calm so they can have strong, connected relationships with their children. I've been practicing mindfulness for over 25 years. I'm the creator of the Mindful Parenting course and teacher training, and I'm the author of the international bestseller Raising Good Humans, Raising Good Humans Every Day, and the Raising Good Humans Guided Journal.

0:42Hunter Clarke-Fields:Hi, Chris. Nice to see you. Nice to see you, Hunter. So happy to be working together more. I know. We're going to see each other really soon, which is so exciting. in person in person in a while in person and we're gonna get to hang out with other people in person too in boston so dear listener if you are feeling stretched out you're feeling a little thin maybe you're feeling sandwiched at home or at work um we have actually a cool event that we are doing called Burnout to Balance in Boston, October 14th. So cool. Do you want to tell them where it is, Chris? Absolutely. It's at More Than Words in the South End.

1:30It's a wonderful kind of bookstore space that's also an amazing nonprofit that actually helps homeless kids find and sell used books and literacy programs. It's just a really cool space. But we're just excited to be together in person, bring together some people around some breathing, some badminton, and get away from burnout, whether it's parents or HR professionals or educators or a nice broad mix of folks that are coming. I'm just excited for hearing you speak for some of the conversations that are coming through and launching.

2:09Hunter Clarke-Fields:Wait, wait, wait, wait. We got to tell them what we're doing right now. Okay. Dun, dun, dun. Drum roll. This, like, momentum. So, in the next few minutes, we're here today right now because we're going to share some tips, some mindful tips that you can actually use today. And we're going to invite you to this amazing gathering. And we're going to tell you about the special thing we're launching. Sounds good. It's like a teaser, I guess. I'm teasing this special thing. Yeah. So first, let's set the scene a little. Why are we talking about this event? And I think that you have a story recently that really exemplifies this.

2:46Hunter Clarke-Fields:We know that there are a lot of caregivers who are working, as we are caregivers that are working, that are feeling really burnt out. Yeah. So it is back to school time, which is now months long, it feels like, you know, my son started a new school, my daughter got a palate expander, my son's third day of school at his new school, broken hand, you know, all night at Children's Hospital, you know, half the next day getting a cast put on, tears about Will's soccer happen, you know, meanwhile, my dad's getting home from a trip and his health is up and down to say the least. And sort of, So you're feeling stretched.

3:26I'm feeling sandwiched. And just kind of trying to get myself back to work and get the family moving and balancing all of this. And just this is the time that I'm just leaning more than ever on my practice. just happened to get up before the kids today and a few minutes of stillness and silence in the house was just amazing. And remembering that gratitude at night as a family and these other little moments, I feel like has barely kept me going. So it's been a time.

4:00Hunter Clarke-Fields:I am so sorry about that broken hand. That's the worst in the hospital. But yeah, yeah, I'm feeling that too. I just went up to see my father, who's also getting older. I was just in the area. And I did a train to Rhode Island on Saturday and a train back on Monday. So it was like a lot. And in these moments, there was like, okay, I'm on the train. I'm like, I have things to do. I have work to do. But I took a couple moments to do some relaxation, do some breathing. And that really, it's like the anchor that is kind of holding me through this time absolutely as well. For the emotional regulation to show up for it all.

4:53Right, absolutely. Which we need that emotion regulation. We need that humor. We need that. I mean, just all of it these days. It's just, yeah. And figure out how to share it, too. I mean, I do feel like, you know, we only keep what we have by giving it away. You know, the mindfulness stuff, the sharing these ideas, what's working for you on the soccer sidelines whenever we do get back to soccer or at the drop off to the bus, chatting with other parents and swapping ideas and supporting each other. And in the workplace, checking in on our colleagues, making such a difference to them, but also to us when we're able to help others.

5:28We know how good that is for us, too.

5:29Hunter Clarke-Fields:So this is, we're in it, we're feeling it, but we're also two mindfulness educators who we are coming together to do some work together in a very exciting, exciting, new, hopefully soon to be new nonprofit that we are putting together. But we're putting together an event to kind of launch the whole thing, which is called Burnout to Balance. It's in Boston. And the aforementioned amazing bookstore, More Than Worth. And we're going to be sharing everyday mindfulness tools for work and for schools. And we have a very cool special author introducing us. Chris and I are going to be speaking together.

6:15Hunter Clarke-Fields:and we're going to be speaking individually. We'll have book signings. We'll have mindful mingling. We'll be doing practices. We have an awesome sponsor, Skylight Calendar Frames. They are sponsoring this event and they're going to be there giving away one of their awesome big giant Skylight calendars for somebody who is there because we're in this, we want to just, we know what it's like and we want to use our skills and resources to share it with others, with other caregivers who are working to help them find those anchors and to identify where they can create these anchors of stability and emotional regulation in their lives.

6:57And I think what's going to be fun is it's not going to be like, okay, everyone, you know, sign up to go to the mountaintop. I think one of the things I really like about you, Hunter, is just this, like, here are some practical tips. Here's how to fit it into your busy day. Here's how to actually have balance, not the fantasy that's on the cover of the yoga magazine or mindfulness magazine. Like, this is like a real world. Like, how do we actually do this?

7:21Hunter Clarke-Fields:You don't have to make your hands do this shape. Right, exactly, exactly. You don't have to do a mindfulness face, as our friend Julietta says. It's, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So anyway, we are having this fun event, And it's in person, which if you have been on Zoom meetings, like we're on kind of right now, but if you have been on Zoom meetings with all these people, I feel like it's so rewarding to come together in person. And it can be hard because it's inconvenient to get out of the house, but man, does it really fill your cup when you do. This event is for parents or caregivers of all types.

7:59Hunter Clarke-Fields:It's for corporate HR leaders seeking resilience programs. It's for just school curriculum. Anyone who's worried about parents and who's worried about your spouse. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let your friends on the playground know, at soccer practice know, and yeah. Yeah. It's for you. We are here inviting you. But we're going to do some quick mini practices here so you can get a little taste of it. so first one we're just going to practice a 60 second grounding practice so i'm going to invite you dear listener to sit or to stand or whatever you're doing and just wherever you are feel your connection to the earth maybe if you are able to you can close your eyes but maybe you can just kind of tune into your body.

8:53Hunter Clarke-Fields:Start to notice the sensations you're feeling. We'll start with a deep breath in,

9:03Hunter Clarke-Fields:long, slow exhale,

9:08Hunter Clarke-Fields:another deep breath in,

9:13Hunter Clarke-Fields:another long, slow exhale.

9:20Hunter Clarke-Fields:And then if you're able to just let your body do the breathing for you,

9:28Hunter Clarke-Fields:let your belly be soft.

9:35Hunter Clarke-Fields:Soften your hands.

9:41Hunter Clarke-Fields:Soften your jaw a little. and maybe even the muscles around your eyes and your forehead and your face.

9:55Hunter Clarke-Fields:And just feel that sense of your body here.

10:03Hunter Clarke-Fields:Feeling your feet, whatever surface touching the ground, the floor, the bottom of the car, whatever it is.

10:21Hunter Clarke-Fields:And then take one more deep breath in.

10:26Hunter Clarke-Fields:One more long, slow exhale.

10:31Hunter Clarke-Fields:And maybe if it feels good, put a hand to your heart and just thank yourself for checking in And know that if you're in a workplace, you're in leadership, you're in any of these places that we are leading and our families, that it doesn't take that much time. We can just pause and check in, and the more we practice, the easier it gets. And that helps relieve the anxiety of all the weight on our shoulders. So as you're ready, if your eyes are closed, just gently open them.

11:08i feel better oof i needed that i didn't know how much i needed that but wow yeah thank you

11:16Hunter Clarke-Fields:thank you hunter oh and i think we have um one more mini mini practice from you chris yeah Yeah, I can do a little something. I'm just struck when things are kind of, you know, going in 20 different directions. And it feels like, you know, the entire world is upside down and my world is upside down. Right. We know actually that, you know, the more stressed we feel, the more we just see, you know, the stronger our kind of negativity bias gets. It's like, this is going wrong. And this kid's not doing that. And that one broke his arm. And, you know, my dad's got this going on. And my daughter's screaming because of her palate expander.

11:57And my wife's stress. But like, we just see the negative. And remembering, like, we can look for the positive and not in like a Pollyanna-ish way. But just like, it's also there. It's sort of like, in the end of the winter, I guess, you know, we're Northeasterners. But like, you put on your jacket after the previous winter. And you're like, oh, I found a$20 bill in my pocket. Like, that happens sometimes. And it's like, to me, that's what gratitude is. It's like, oh, this was always there. I just didn't notice it. And so finding little moments, whether it's with your family at night for little roses and thorns, or, you know, on the drive home is a place where I try to just like, okay, I'm gonna shut off the radio.

12:34And actually, maybe I can do this, driving or not. Hopefully you don't drive yourself off the road. But just, you know, assuming you're not driving, let's actually go back to that kind of putting a hand over your heart, feel that gentle, soothing touch, kind of the way you'd pull in your kiddo or pull a friend over when they're having a rough day. And just kind of looking over the day and just asking yourself, like, what went well? Like, what was one... I can't remember who I heard this from recently, but like, nothing is too small. Like, it can't just be, okay, there's only five minutes instead of 10 minutes of screaming, you know, before over homework tonight, or it can be, you know, we had a nice dinner.

13:21It can be just, you know, I got those couple minutes to drink my coffee before the kids woke up. Just take a moment and just let it settle in. Just bring that scene to mind. Bring that embodiment kind of, how did your body feel in that moment? Just let that, settle in of that moment. Nothing too small.

13:50What was the scene? Who was there? If you didn't savor the moment then, you can savor it now. I appreciate it now.

14:04And again, just opening your eyes, take a look around, and really nothing is too small. It takes a little bit of time for the positive to kind of sink in to our nervous system. The negative, we just immediately take it in, but the positive, we need to give it time. So that drive home or pulling into the driveway and just taking a couple breaths and maybe reflecting on the day or even if it was hectic getting out of the house, right? The last, you know, stops on the subway or the bus or when you pull into the parking garage at work, whatever it might be, or just right after drop off, you know, give yourself a moment.

14:48Well, what did go well today so far? And truly nothing is too small. It opens up our brains for more creativity and helps us actually solve all those other problems that are so urgent and we actually shine a little attention on the ones that are going all right. So this little stuff can be really helpful.

15:08Hunter Clarke-Fields:Well, we are going to have more practices like this. We're going to be talking. We're going to be connecting in person. I'm going to be giving hugs to people. I know I will be when we're there. Anyway, we would love to invite you. We have limited seats available. And we have early bird tickets available before September 25th. You can get half off with the Kerpon code early. Go to mindfulmamamentor.com slash Boston. We'll be talking about resilience, emotional regulation, caregiving. We know that even a few mindful moments can shift an entire day. Think about what it might do for you to come meet with us from 1030 to 1230 in the morning with snacks and swag bags and maybe winning a skylight calendar, you know, all that stuff.

16:06Hunter Clarke-Fields:So join us. We'd love to have you. We're so excited to be doing this new initiative. Mindful Parenting Institute is what it's called. Awesome. And we'll be talking more about that. And so, yeah, mindfulmamamentor.com slash Boston. And you can get your tickets. Any final words, Chris? No, it's got to be fun. I'm just looking forward to seeing old friends, seeing you, catching up. You know, we got, you know, the Skylight Raffle. I'm sure we'll be raffling off our books, other fun stuff. And just kind of networking with other people, getting some of that, you know, sideline parent wisdom to bring back to your company, to bring back to your friends, to bring back to your family, but mostly to bring back to yourself.

16:44So I think it's going to be a really fun morning. And I'm just really excited.

16:48Hunter Clarke-Fields:Yeah, me too. All right. We will see you there, dear listener, we hope. Thank you so much for listening. And hopefully we'll see you soon. Bye.