Inside the Secret World of Ultra-Wealthy Vacations

0:00Ramit Sethi: I'm trying something new today because I've always been fascinated by the psychology of spending. And everyone tells you how you should spend less, but nobody ever talks about the skill of spending money meaningfully. So today I'm talking to someone who provides luxury services to some of the wealthiest families to uncover some of the most jaw-dropping and awe-inspiring things that people spend on when they travel and why they do it. Enjoy this special video and I'll be back with another episode of Money for Couples on Tuesday. What does a$400 ,000 summer vacation actually look like? Today I'm talking to Hao Tang, the travel advisor who plans$100 ,000 plus trips for some of the wealthiest families in the world.

0:43Ramit Sethi: What does somebody get for$400 ,000 for 20 nights?

0:47Hao Tang: They're directly on the beach. It has a private butler. One of the villas has a private chef as well. You have your full size pool, huge pool.

0:55Ramit Sethi: Today, we're going to uncover how wealthy people travel, plus the hidden psychology behind travel spending at the highest levels.

1:03Hao Tang: I almost don't want to tell you this because it's kind of my secret sauce, but...

1:09Ramit Sethi: How you book luxury hotel stays for high net worth and ultra high net worth families. And I have an itinerary from a client that you booked an actual trip for, a$400 ,000 itinerary for a single dad and his kids. Can I put it up on screen? Can you walk me through this itinerary? Of course. Happy to.

1:30Hao Tang: What's the price of this itinerary? So it's roughly$400 ,000 give and take by a few when you're counting for the accommodation, some of the activities, food, tips, and the private jet home. For how long? This is just under, I believe, 20 nights, just under three weeks. Let's call it three weeks.

1:49Ramit Sethi: So this is a$400 ,000 trip for 20 nights. Yep. I have questions. I have a lot of questions. What does somebody get for$400 ,000 for 20 nights?

2:00Hao Tang: Sure. So this is a family who needs a three-bedroom villa set up at the minimum, or three bedrooms, I should say. This is a trip to Turks and Caicos. So they're directly on the beach. They are in a villa that has obviously ample amount of space. It has a private butler. One of the villas has a private chef as well. You have your full-size pool, huge pool, right? And you're on one of the best beaches in the world. That's just like the very high level, but there's much more that goes into it as well.

2:31Ramit Sethi: All right, so what did this client come to you with? What was the thing they wanted you to do for them?

2:35Hao Tang: They came to me and said, hey, we'd love to go take a summer trip with my children. And he actually said, hey, Al, I saw the trip you took last year to Turks and Caicos for your 40th birthday. I thought that was really cool. I would love to do the exact same thing. So this trip was actually inspired by my 40th birthday trip, which I stay at Amanyara in their villas and then at Homo Parakeet in their villas.

3:01Ramit Sethi: Let's walk through the actual process because I want to take people behind the scenes of what is it like to arrive at one of these hotels? What's the check-in process? Quite different than when I checked in at a Holiday Inn in my early 20s. It's very different. So let's walk through the check-in process. You get there. Actually, you walk out of the taxi.

3:21Hao Tang: Okay. What happens? So most of my clients, I would say, especially with resorts, we will actually arrange the transfers with the hotel. So the experience starts not at the taxi when you arrive at the hotel, but at the airport, right? So as soon as you come off the airport, someone's already with a sign and then arrive at the hotel. And I will say this, the Peninsula always does a fun arrival in that because when you book their vehicle when you pull up there's four people out there waiting on you right because the the driver typically call about three four minutes out says hey we're almost there they come out they have their pin they have their notebook you get out of the car they whisk you into your suite to check in or your room to check in you're not checking in at the desk no no you're never checking on the desk you never see your luggage when you get out of the car luggage is going to be in the room at some point in the next three four minutes like magic right okay and and sometimes what I see them do is the team will ask you, hey, would you like a little brief tour before we take you to your room or suite first?

4:22Hao Tang: And if you do that, they aim to get the luggage into your closet before you even check in.

4:27Ramit Sethi: Okay. So I get there. They're waiting to greet me. They take me up to the room. I don't go to any check-in desk. I'm now taken up to my room. And what happens next?

4:40Hao Tang: So this could happen in the room or sometime earlier. Every hotel is different, but they usually have someone with a cold or warm towel depending on the location of the place and have welcome drinks for you and everything like that and sometimes they may have a printout of your itinerary if you have an itinerary of things you want to do and you know things like that and then once you've settled into your suite they will ask you to obviously perform some housekeeping items like getting a passport and things like that but then they will ask hey um you know if you guys are not tired i would be happy to show you the suite and all the amenities and features and buttons and things like that.

5:14Hao Tang: But if you're -

5:14Ramit Sethi: What's different in these suites versus like a Hyatt, you know, or any other hotel room?

5:20Hao Tang: There are a lot of hidden features. Like for example, my TV is hidden somewhere in this room that you cannot assume, right? You could not guess or you have to know exactly how to access that. There are certain buttons. There are certain, some, like I stayed in a suite before where I had a hidden door to the bathroom.

5:35Ramit Sethi: I would have never found it on my own. Why are these clients of yours, why do they care so much? For example, this is$15 ,000 a night for eight nights at Amanyara. $125 ,000, more than$15 ,000 a night. Whenever you hear somebody talking about numbers like this, it's really easy to say, that's crazy. What a waste of money. I can't believe people spend this. It's disgusting. So I want you to use something I call the D to C principle. From disparagement to curiosity. Personally, I prefer to get curious. What do you get in a hotel room for$15 ,000 a night?

6:11Hao Tang: I would say, you know, one of the things I really love about beach property is that there's really two very drastic ways, different ways to experience a beach hotel or beach resort, right? One is imagine the old school beach hotel in like Hawaii or something like that, where you go into this big complex, right? You have elevators, different floors with balconies and railings and everything. So every day you get up, you say, okay, kids. Okay, everyone, pack your stuff up. Let's get our bag, go down to the pool. Let's go find some seats. If we can find them, hopefully we'll find them, right? And then let's make camp for the day, right?

6:48Hao Tang: And if you, you know, like if you all of a sudden want to take a call, if you want to use the bathroom, I'm a bit of a germaphobe. So I don't like these public restrooms. You're like, okay, do I really want to dry myself off? Get my sandals on, take the elevator, go back up, blah, blah, blah. So that's one way to experience it, which is still great, right? Growing up, never traveling at all. That's heaven. But imagine if you're on the most pristine beach on a private island and your room is directly on the beach. You take three steps out from your living room. You're on your private deck, half covered.

7:23Hao Tang: In front of that is a gigantic pool just for you and your family. You can make all the noises you want when you have kids. You don't have to worry about anyone else. At any point in time, you can take 30 additional steps. Now you're on the beach by yourself. Take another 50 steps, you're in the water, right?

7:43Ramit Sethi: What does it mean if you have a chef in some of these villas?

7:47Hao Tang: How does that work? It can be very different from different properties, but let's just use Amoyar for example. So the chef will make anything you want, assuming that they have the ingredients. And sometimes if you will like, like for example, I have some Indian clients who have various specific dietary needs and preferences, right? So for those clients, I love to always send ahead of time, hey, chef, my clients do not eat these ingredients. French food.

8:17Ramit Sethi: They do not want French food because it has virtually no tastes. They do not believe in pepper and rosemary as a seasoning. Okay, I understand you send that ahead. What else?

8:27Hao Tang: So the chef gets these requests or these like this list. And then what do they do? They can customize a menu for them. But a lot of times what's something that Amon is always known for is basically they can make anything off menu for you. Right. So you can say, hey, listen, our family really loves Thai dishes. So one of the things that a lot of clients actually request by name is different types of chef. Certain chefs are proficient in Thai food, some in Indian food, some in French food, etc. right? So these specificities are very important. And it's something that we also request almost like requesting the room type.

9:04Hao Tang: Why not just go to the restaurant? You can do that as well. All the options are available to you. One of the things that I've really loved when I've spent time there is that we actually, when we travel with children, what we do is we actually have the children eat at a different time. So we have the children eating at like 5 p.m. We have the chefs make them grill chicken, whatever the case may be. and then the kids all eat together and then they make a mess and then the butler cleans everything up everything is all nice and eat again and then at seven o 'clock after we kind of put the kids aside or to bed then the adults come together and then we have our meal right so they have a different uh cadence to everything and different menu so it's fantastic i've also had uh travel with family there were some friends wanted thai food some friends wanted italian food it doesn't matter all comes out.

9:52Hao Tang: So just make whatever you want.

9:53Ramit Sethi: So it's whatever you can envision that we'll try to execute. Why do you think your clients care so much? Why not just go to a restaurant like 99.9 % of other people do?

10:05Hao Tang: It's convenience. And I feel the same way. So for example, I go there every summer. I was just there somewhere. And in the villa, you have this idea of how the day is going to go before you go on your trip. You're like, oh, we're going to do xyz we're going to shower dress up go to the restaurant but when you have kids it's mayhem it's 6 p.m you know my little guy's running around like what naked with his diaper off or whatever the case you're just trying to survive you're like i want dinner here now i don't want to change i want to be my bathing suit and my t-shirt i am in no mood to shower and then go get ready right like so it's convenience i would say at the end of the day so much of the luxury that you don't that doesn't translate on a website is flexibility and convenience.

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12:12Ramit Sethi: Spots are limited as the year-end nears. Let's keep going with the video now. Let's go back to what they get in the room for paying this much, 5 ,000, 10 ,000, 15 ,000 a night. So we talked about you have convenience, you have food prepared for you with a chef. You mentioned a butler. What does a butler do?

12:28Hao Tang: They basically are with you at all times just to make sure that if there's anything you need, they can assist you with. And this could be make sure that there's always beverages, water, towels by the pool, et cetera. And with us, when we're traveling as a big group of friends or family, there's always a lot of mess, as you can imagine. Anytime they're not executing a request that's given by you, they're cleaning up, they're straightening things up, right? So like that's really nice. For someone who loves like being organized and I don't like clutter at all, that's like heaven to me. Someone's always straightening things up.

13:03Hao Tang: And as a father, that's one of the biggest annoyances of having a kid playing with toys all the time. There's always a mess and that's always being cleaned up. So even on vacation, this is happening, which is quite amazing. And then I would say an example of parakeet. This is one of my favorite butler concepts. So this butler not only looks after you when you're in your beach house, he or she will travel with you throughout the entire resort. They become your waiter. They become anything you do. So let me tell you where the magic is for that. If you were to go to the restaurant on the day one, your butler goes with you, he or she will know your drink preference.

13:45Hao Tang: So for example, every time you sit down, you like to have a Diet Coke with two slices of lemon, right? And half glass of ice. You say that once and the rest of your trip is done. If your butler did not go with you everywhere outside of your room, which is what most butler services are like, You still may have to repeat that every time you sat down, right? So just small things like that. And the best thing about the butlers at Parakeet is that they're fantastic with children. And I hate to talk about how much this relates to children because so much of this does, that most of my clients and myself included, one of the favorite hacks I always call it is that I have clients who arrives at Parakeet the first night, they will send me a picture.

14:27Hao Tang: and 50 % of the time, the picture is something like they're having dinner and in the distance is the butler with their child. So the butler is almost like a nanny hybrid.

14:39Ramit Sethi: So this is like the dream. So they are at this nice hotel. They can be eating whatever food they want or it's just like nice having a glass of wine, sitting, watching the sunset. And they know their kid is having fun and being taken care of. Yeah, it's like your client agent. Even for half an hour.

14:55Hao Tang: Yes. okay wow it's just amazing like also think about this right so kids club is one of the biggest like amenities of of uh resorts of families right so sometimes uh you know let's just say your your child's at the kids club and you're by the pool and it's time to pick them up instead of you getting out of the pool and kind of like snapping out of the moment you're in enjoying the place you just tell your brother hey could you please go to the kids club pick up john and and Jamie and take them back to the room or whatever they can bring them here, whatever the case may be. Right.

15:29Ramit Sethi: You know, this is really interesting because when you're saying this, I'm into it. I love it. The idea that I only have to order sparkling water with limes once, and then everybody knows it. I love that. I love that hospitality and those details. I remember being at the Dodge hotel in Jaipur. Yes. And we were there with some friends and it We were having a dinner and it was getting a little bit late. They had kids and one of the kids was falling asleep. And I remember one of the staff members coming up and saying, would you like us to take the kids back to your room? And it was like, I had never seen that before.

16:10Ramit Sethi: And I thought it was magical. Let me get this straight. They're going to take the kids back to the room. They have a key to get in. They're going to make sure everything's safe. I'm sure they're going to send a little note saying, hey, everything's good. interestingly the friends that we were with were not comfortable so they said no no we're okay even though it was becoming a you know a little bit like the kids were a bit irritable sure and i asked them i said like to me i'm like how come you don't do that that's not that's it's free it's include why not do it and she just she said you know i'm not comfortable doing that so i thought it was an interesting example there are a lot of options at these really high-end hotels but not everyone takes advantage of all of them.

16:49Ramit Sethi: Like I've stayed at places where there's a butler and I I'll text sometimes. Can you arrange this or that? I asked my wife, I'm like, do you want them to pack for us? Cause they can pack. Right. I hate packing. I'm like, please pack this stuff. I don't want to have to pack it. It also gives me an extra two hours on the last day to not have to sit there. And then she goes, no, I don't want them to. I like packing myself. And I was like, what the hell? What? But what I've learned is just because it's there doesn't mean everybody uses it. You find the same thing with your clients?

17:21Hao Tang: Yeah, for sure. And I think this, you know, not to get off tangent, but it's the same thing. It's like, sometimes I go to a hotel, the younger me, the college kid into me, if I went to a hotel, you tell me, Hey, Hal, guess what? The mini bar is included. The mini bar is free. I will go bonkers. I would be just chugging Coke and eating gummy bears. Right. And then whatever's left in the last day I'm putting in my bag, right? Yes, totally. Now I don't like my mini bar sitting in front of me. I haven't touched it once. It's completely complimentary, right? I mean, I'm not going to go drink, you know, 80 grams of sugar just because it's free, right?

17:52Hao Tang: So I think there's some like freedom in that and some satisfaction I've taken in that I've kind of gone through a process. And there's nothing wrong with, you know, taking advantage of things that you've paid for. That's part of the amenities, right? Enjoy it. But I think the older, the more experiences like this, I do the more the luxury and the joy I get is getting the experience I want at any given time. Love not feel FOMO not feel like I have to do anything, right?

18:21Ramit Sethi: Yeah, I remember once, um, because you've been my travel advisor for many years, and you have learned that my wife and I don't really care for wine. Yes, we don't really drink that much. So sometimes when you go to these places, they'll have a bottle of wine waiting for you or some kind of like champagne. And we're just like we're not really into it and you found out that i love berries because as a kid right we couldn't basically eat bear they're too expensive yes so basically every hotel i show up to there's a plate of perfect berries like laid out for me and i truly feel like a kid in a candy store i'm like these are for me and and they're free and the irony is at some of these places are quite expensive, these hotels.

19:06Ramit Sethi: Of course. But the idea that everybody still loves something that is made for them. Like somewhere, somehow, this hotel had, they figured out that I like berries. And obviously that was through you and you found out somehow because one day I probably casually mentioned it. So there was a lot of work that went into this strawberry appearing on this beautiful ceramic bowl. And to me, that makes me feel like I'm taken care of. Like someone is watching over me. And if I kind of really pull the thread, it's almost like being a child and knowing that somebody's out there watching over me.

19:45Hao Tang: I'm so glad you brought that up because I think sometimes, you know, one of the things I'm sure you've heard many times is like, hey, why would you pay so much for a hotel when you're just sleeping there? Sleeping at a cheaper hotel is the same as expensive hotel functionality wise, right? But it costs money and resources and manpower to get to know somebody. So for me to get to know Michael, this is why I don't have a million clients. I can only have so many clients because it takes time to get to know each client. And then when I give this information to the hotel, it takes the manpower. It takes the time and energy to go track down or source certain amenities for these clients, right?

20:21Ramit Sethi: When something goes wrong, I want to talk about that. What's the worst call you've gotten from a client?

20:26Hao Tang: I would say one of the worst calls is a client who was going to go on a safari and they've been looking for this the whole life. She's in her seventies. She calls me and tells me that she has cancer, which breaks my heart. And we've been playing this for like a year and a half, by the way. And she's the nicest lady. So she tells me that I immediately, you know, like part of my mind is heartbreak. The other part is, oh crap, we're in penalty. They've already paid$60 ,000 and it's fully non-refundable at this point. And that was a bad call because of one, of her getting cancer. Second is this is probably one of the most difficult challenges to overcome, especially with a safari property.

21:09Hao Tang: It's not New York. No one's going to walk in last minute and just book a safari for$60 ,000, right? So this is where I had to go into problem solving mode and try to be very creative and unconventional in ways to try to kind of make that work for her financially.

21:24Ramit Sethi: Did it?

21:25Hao Tang: Partially. I was able to find another client who was looking to go on Safari. And I said, hey, I went to my, the client who had the cancer. Hey, what if I were able to find someone else who would be willing to go on Safari? I can get them to change their dates a little bit, but you give them a bit of a discount on what you paid, right? So everybody wins. It's a win-win situation, so to speak, right? But this is where I think it's challenging. These are some of the most challenging things because you're having a very, very bad news. And then on top of that, you're compounding with another bad news that's devastating as well.

22:00Ramit Sethi: Yeah. Okay. Is there a hotel that everyone thinks is worth it that you don't?

22:06Hao Tang: I'm going to say a region maybe because there's so many. I think Europe in the summer is just insane to me, right? You could go to like Moffy Coast, Positano, et cetera, or even Lake Como. you could get an entry-level room at the top level properties for 3 ,000, 4 ,000 euros per night. So we're talking to what, 3 ,600 to 5 ,000 USD per night, and you're getting a 300 square foot, 300 square feet like closet.

22:30Ramit Sethi: So what if a client comes to you and says, I want to go to Positano? What would you say?

22:34Hao Tang: I mean, we would have, depending on the client, if they know the market well, I wouldn't even have this conversation with them because I already know, right? I just know that this is where they want to go. And that's the most valuable thing. Because sometimes, you know, one of my job is to actually understand what it is that you value. Yes. On any given trip. It's not always money. It's not always the quote unquote bang for the buck. Right. Or at least in that way, sometimes it's going to the south of France in the peak of summer, because that's where you want to be. Right. Like that is the most important thing.

23:03Hao Tang: Right. Just like New Yorkers in January want to be in the Caribbean. Like that might be the only thing they care about. Right.

23:08Ramit Sethi: You know, you once told me in a very respectful way. because my wife and I love Rosewood Mayakoba. We just love that hotel. We've had so many great experiences. And you were kind of like, again, in polite terms, you're like, that hotel is a bit incongruous with the other places that you stay. Basically, it's not as nice. When I personally, I love it. And the reason that I love it and we love it is we've just had such warm experiences with the staff. We brought some of our friends there. And I thought that was a great observation because what I've learned is I don't always need to have the most expensive, the most nice.

23:48Ramit Sethi: Sometimes it's like, what's easy for people to get to? Or in this case, like what makes us feel really warm and taken care of? And it's nice, no doubt. Rosewood, Mayakoba is a very nice hotel. There are more expensive ones around. But I thought that was a good observation that clients don't just because you have money doesn't mean you're always spending the max amount.

24:09Hao Tang: Yes, yes. Who pays for your travel? I make these like reels every year about how this works. So I pay for my travel. You know, I think last year it's still on my Instagram. I made a reel last May about how I spent$300 ,000, but I got a million dollars worth of travel experiences. And the point of that reel was that there was a$700 ,000 delta. And that delta was through either invitation or upgrades and things like that, right? So like a free stay is a free stay, but it actually costs me something if I don't like the place. I'd rather pay either full price or discounted rate to go to a place that I like and love and that my clients will also like and love potentially, then go to a free place that isn't a good fit, right?

24:54Ramit Sethi: How do you tell in a few minutes if someone is going to be a great client or a nightmare client?

25:01Hao Tang: I almost don't want to tell you this because it's kind of my secret sauce. but I'm going to tell you, even the way they approach me to become a client is a flag. So if someone approached me and just says, how do you work? What's your fee? That's a flag. That's a red flag for me. My most high net worth clients have always approached me with, hey, how we've been following you for some time. We really resonate with you. Are you accepting new clients? Right. And my assumption - What's the difference in the two approaches? Well, I think one is the first example, they're still interviewing you and trying to figure out what it is that you can do for them, et cetera.

25:39Hao Tang: I think the second one, they've already made a decision on you. They've spent time investing in you to see if you might be a good fit for them. And here's the thing. I think they must have other areas in their lives where they work with a top person. And that means that they know the top person are not necessarily looking to take on new clients. They're probably already at their max, right? The top accountant for their taxes, the top whatever it is, the top physician. What is the average cost of a trip that you book for clients? On average, probably the hotels starts at about$4 ,000 per night on average.

26:16Hao Tang: Okay.

26:17Ramit Sethi: And how many nights? Five. Okay. What's the lowest price that a client books through you?

26:23Hao Tang: Oh, I booked a client for a few hundred bucks before, but more so that once I have a client, I have a client. And if they need to go to a place in like Kuala Lumpur, where like the four seasons of suite is like 300 bucks, you know, I still booked out for them. Of course, once they're my client, they're my client, right? What should someone look for if they are hiring a travel advisor? So I joked with Laura last year, which she did not find this funny at all. I said, if I die, you and Beckett work with an advisor, but this is what you look for. I said, first, you must be able to tell if she or him, if their taste was developed, you must be able to see how their taste was developed, right?

27:02Hao Tang: Meaning like you can see visually or through something that they went to these places and their taste or whatever their opinions are is kind of refined by these trips they've taken, right? Like it's through personal experience. That's very important to me. And they also must have a strong perspective on things, right? Like that's very interesting to me. And And also, they must have demonstrated some ability or capacity to think unconventionally. Because sometimes, like an example for the single dad, I got a$40 ,000 upgrade. That deal, that stay was not going to be possible until I made that happen, right?

27:38Hao Tang: I saw an opportunity for both the client and the hotel and then made that happen. But that was unconventional thinking, right? So that's big. And then, of course, I said, you know, they must be able to showcase that they're the right people, right? The right general manager and things like that have their kind of like hands on the pulses of the industry. So I think that's those are things are very important.

28:00Ramit Sethi: Why did you choose to do this job? Did you grow up going to luxury hotels?

28:04Hao Tang: No, we were so poor. We didn't even go to motels. We you know, my mom moved here as an immigrant. and she was a housekeeper and a waitress raising me, which is why, by the way, I have such a soft spot for housekeepers at hotels. I started traveling when I first started working at Ralph Lauren, just here in a bit because we had company discounts. That was huge. I could get into the Surrey on the Upper East for like 200 bucks, right? When it was like 800. And that was a splurge for me. I had to like save to get the 200 bucks. And I didn't even know what I was. I couldn't define it at the time, but I just had this vision of like, I wanted to know what's out there.

28:38Hao Tang: I wanted to experience it. And then when I try a little bit of luxury travel, it really resonated with me. I really found everything about luxury hotels to be interesting. In fact, I could just stay in the hotel all day. I didn't want to leave. That's a big difference. My friends and Laura were like, oh, let's go see this museum. Let's go do this. I'm like, I want to stay in the hotel. You go. I just want to stay. I don't sit in the bed and just enjoy this space. I can't tell you why. The fact that I can actually add value to people's trip and it's immediate impact almost. When I work in the corporate world, you work on a project and I realize in two years, who knows?

29:11Hao Tang: But I could do something for me. And when they take that trip, I will immediately know how that went. I mean, there's pressure with that, of course, but the reward is so substantial. And even for the wealthiest people who maybe don't lack in finance, but they lack on time. right so to play a role in one of the most like pivotal assets or moments of their life and make an impact is really rewarding you know i would say like there's nothing like you know we've texted from like hey how's it going there's nothing like getting a picture from your client and you're like dude look at these blueberries they're in individual shelves like those things i'm getting a little bit of goosebump like they're just amazing you know like yeah i get texts and messages like that all the time.

29:56And, uh, you know, it's just something that I couldn't do

30:01Hao Tang: previously. And, and, and I love that.

30:03Ramit Sethi: I love it too. All right. How, thank you for taking us behind the scenes of luxury travel.

30:07Hao Tang: I appreciate your time. Yep. Thanks. Cheers. Thanks a lot.

30:10Ramit Sethi: I find this whole conversation fascinating, especially because most people never talk about this publicly. I asked myself, Hey, why would someone spend this money if they can afford it? presumably they have a reason. What is it? It might not be something I care about, but maybe I will one day. And the only way I can understand it is by getting curious instead of disparaging it. So if you use the D to C principle, you're going to see lots of new ways to think about money everywhere you go. If you want to see more of these videos going inside what spending actually looks like at the highest levels and why, leave a comment and tell me what you want to see next.