Feeling Stuck? 5 Things to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do Next

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0:32Hi, welcome to Motherkind. It is me, your host, Zoe. This is the show that is about you, the woman behind the mother. Feeling stuck is actually a sign that a breakthrough is coming. And here is what I did these past eight months when, I'm going to be honest with you, I found myself feeling stuck and confused to where I am sat here now, where I feel more fired up and clear and honestly, more kind of successful than I ever have. So feeling stuck is a sign that a breakthrough is coming. In September last year, I was really stuck. I didn't know what direction to take the podcast in. My corporate work was slowing down a little bit.

1:19The brand deals were slowing down a little bit. And I just didn't know what direction to take my career and this brand in. And if I'm honest, the whole thing felt like it was kind of slowing down. And I'm not going to lie, I was scared and confused. But here's what I can see now that that was happening, that slowing down, that stuck feeling actually happened to allow me to take a step back and get the clarity that I needed. So feeling stuck and not knowing what direction to take, whether it's in your relationship or your career, you're overthinking, you might be panicking. It is a horrible place to be.

2:03But I have come to see that it actually happens right before a breakthrough. So there's a visual that I love here, which is that the arrow needs to pull back before it can shoot forward. So if it feels like you're going backwards, and I think for many of us, matricents can feel like this, it's actually preparing you for your next phase. There's also an analogy I love in nature, which is that bamboo grows underground for five years. You don't see anything and then it shoots up like meters in months. And I feel a lot like that bamboo right now. So if you have clicked play on this because you are feeling stuck, I need you to tell yourself and to reframe, I'm about to have a clarity.

2:53I'm about to have clarity. My breakthrough is coming. I really want you to believe it and keep saying it because it's going to make that horrible feeling of feeling stuck easier. The second thing that I want you to know is to focus on your mindset first. So when I felt stuck and I didn't know what to do, I started obsessing on what I should do. I started looking at other podcasts. I started obsessively looking at other business models and other coaches. I started contacting consultants, none of which has enabled me to completely change how I feel in the last eight months. What has made the difference is my mindset.

3:36And I know that this is so hackneyed, but it's really true because I realise now when I started Motherkind nearly nine years ago, my mindset was pretty incredible. I really believed that what I had to say was needed in the world. I was on fire with passion. I believed that I was the person that was meant to bring this work into the world. And I think it's because of that mindset that it worked. What I can see has happened, particularly in the last year, is more challenges, huge industry changes, setbacks, more kind of voices in my head, you know, the pressure of having a bit more success in a bigger audience.

4:19And I can see looking back now, what happened was I lost that belief in myself. I lost that belief that what I have to say is needed. And I started to question if I was good enough, what I had to say mattered, was it even important anymore? And so guess what? The moment I started having those internal wobbles, that was getting mirrored back to me in the external world, right? Less deals, less growth, less opportunities, because really what happens internally is reflected externally. We think it's the other way, right? That the good stuff comes and then we get to feel amazing. What I've learned is that it's actually the other way.

5:00So we don't get what we want. We get what we believe is possible for us. And I can see unequivocally that last September, I stopped believing in myself a little bit. And so the world stopped believing in me too. And the whole thing slowed down. So now I reset that. I worked really hard every day on journaling, on affirmations, on thinking about my future self, all sorts of mad things, really to get back into that mindset that I matter, my work matters. And from that became, you know, so many incredible things, the rebrand and the ideas that I have. And so I really want you to take this story, wherever you're feeling stuck, whether it is in your career or your relationship or just in your life in general to think about how am I thinking about this am I thinking that I can't change this am I thinking it's too difficult am I thinking what's the point anyway and if you notice that start to change it and I think you will see that things around you start to change as well so you have to think of it like this if you feel stuck and your thoughts are saying to you, I don't know what to do.

6:17I feel stuck. I'm confused. Nothing's working. It's not going to work for me. Then that creativity and those ideas, they can't come through you. Because when you're thinking those thoughts, which is nothing's going to work, I'm stuck, your nervous system actually goes into a place of threat, which means that you feel stressed, which means that you can't think clearly, which means that you can't come up with solutions. So I know it's really easy when you feel stuck to jump straight into the practical. I have this with clients of mine all the time where they just want to jump straight into what are we going to do?

6:54And it's so difficult, isn't it? I get it. It's so difficult to think, no, I'm just going to fix first how I'm thinking about this and then we can get to the doing.

7:10The third thing is to stop focusing on problems. So I was talking to a friend of mine the other night and she is feeling really stuck about what to do for work. She's not been in paid work for a decade because she's been caring for her kids. And she is in that place where she's overthinking, she's ping-ponging from one idea to the other. And she was telling me about this in the car we were driving along. So I asked her a few questions and I could see immediately what was happening. she was putting all of her energy onto why it wouldn't work so she would start a course and she'd feel really excited about it in a new area that she wants to move into and then her mind would start saying to her this isn't going to work um and who you know there's no careers in this there's no opportunity in this and then she would stop doing it so if you focus on why something doesn't work.

8:03That is all you will see. This is how our brains work. This is fundamental. We tell our brains what to focus on. So if we tell our brains, find all the problems with this, it will. What was also going on for her was really low confidence. She didn't believe that she could actually make a career change. So she was sabotaging it when things did start to go well. So I taught her this was in like two minutes. I taught her how to focus on what she does want. It sounds so simple, but so many of us do not do this. Focus on what you want to happen, not on what you don't want to happen. And then when you notice those thoughts telling you why it can't work, just switch them.

8:49Literally just change your thoughts and say it will work. Your life will change. And I really don't say this lightly, but your life will change when you realize that you are not your thoughts. 99 % of the time, your thoughts are a really unreliable source of the truth. They're based in your past, in your childhood conditioning, in fear, in that voice that you keep hearing on social media telling you there are no jobs left. Your thoughts are unreliable from the actual reality and what is possible for you. So you have to learn not to listen to those thoughts. The moment that you step out of your comfort zone and you decide, like my friend is, to try and do something different, to move you out of feeling stuck, those thoughts are going to get louder.

9:36Why? Because the brain wants to keep you the same. So the moment you step out of your comfort zone, you're going to hear more of those thoughts. So you're going to have to learn this skill if you want to get unstuck, if you want to move forward, if you want to do something different. You have to learn this skill of not listening to your thoughts.

9:56The fourth one is tiny actions move you forward. So when I felt stuck last year, I couldn't see what to do and I couldn't see the big picture. I know enough about psychology and neuroscience and coaching to know that I had to start really small. So one of the first things I did is I really thought about the content and the media I was consuming. And I started following people that were inspiring, that were doing things that I wanted to do in the world. I started eating better. I started going to the gym more. I started taking more of my beloved wild nutrition supplements. And none of this had anything to do with the stuckness, right?

10:34But actually what they did was they edged me closer to more of how I wanted to feel. And as I started to feel better, guess what? Those tiny actions led me to feel more energy, get more clarity. And the problems and the stuckness that felt so big started to feel a bit less big. I also did an incredible exercise where I wrote on the 8th of August 2025 where I would be on the 8th of August 2026. So I wrote it in first person. I wrote things like the podcast is flying and reaching millions of mothers. I am stronger than ever. I am the creator of my life. I gave the year a word, which was elevate.

11:17And I wrote how I wanted to feel and what I wanted to happen. And I know that you might have heard this before and you think, oh, my gosh, Zoe, this is so woo woo. But it is not. There is really solid neuroscience behind why this works. So I can tell you that I wrote that in August last year when I was feeling very stuck. And a lot of the things that I wrote seemed wild that they would never happen. About 90 percent of those things have come true, including a few very specific things, projects that I wanted, people that I wanted to work with. So if you feel stuck, give yourself the gift and just suspend your disbelief for a moment and start writing for a year in the future where you want to get to, because what this does is it completely changes your focus.

12:06Okay, and the last thing is if you're feeling stuck, focus on others, not yourself. My biggest breakthrough came when I was feeling really stuck was actually not from thinking as much about me but about you guys our community and the millions of mothers that I want to reach and I think when we switch from who am I to do this to who can I help it really changes everything because it's actually not about you anymore so say you feel really stuck about your career and I said this to my friend in the car that night she really wants to work with children and I said you know you doubting yourself and self-sabotaging yourself about making this step isn't actually about you you need to do this because of all the children that you are going to help with your incredible skills and passion so if you want to start business you don't know where to start think about the people that you want to help if you want to make a career change and you don't know where to start think about the people that you want to help if you want to change your relationship think about how that is going to change the lives of everyone around you by you being happier so taking the focus off us is such a powerful tool for feeling and moving through that stuckness so take the focus off yourself and put it on to others i hope this helps and remember by you getting unstuck it not only helps you but it also helps your children too because they are learning from us all the time so take just one of those five ideas put them into practice and let me know how you get on and I will see you next time that was the episode I hoped you loved it if you did please make sure you subscribe and I will see you next time