If you want more success in any area of your life - listen to this (5 non-negotiable habits of the most fulfilled mothers I know)

0:07Welcome to Motherkind, it is me your host Zoe. We are proudly sponsored by Wild Nutrition women supplements and this is the show where I grab you by the hand and support you the woman behind the mother on how despite the crazy expectations of modern motherhood to actually enjoy your life to focus on you too and to alternate become a woman you are unbelievably proud of this is a solo episode this week one where I take the wisdom from guests throw in some research and package it up for you in a 15 minute little bundle of joy and as you know if you are a long time listener, I've had the absolute honour of interviewing some of the most incredibly successful mothers.

0:52I'm talking billion pound founders, industry leaders, activists, and change makers. And as we know, success leaves clues. So it left me thinking, what are the habits that all these women share? And I've made these habits relevant for you, whether you're leading a business, whether you want to lead a business, whether you want to change careers or you don't want a career at all. Because as we all know, success comes in many forms. And so these habits are relevant, whether you want to be successful at parenting, managing family life, or as an entrepreneur or an employee, you are going to take something from this episode.

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3:39So let's dive in. Now, before I do, and as I always do on the show and in my work, we need to look at the context. So I always say we need to see ourselves in context. We need to understand the water we're swimming in to understand our strokes. And so I want you to know this, that now is a really challenging time to be a mother. Child care costs, loss of the village, the pressure, and I think that's for everyone. But of course, not all challenges are made equal. So we are all in the same sea, but we are definitely not all in the same boat. So it's important for me to recognise the huge part of the privilege plays here.

4:17Of course, you know, your race, the health of your children, your own health, your financial setup, your social support, your emotional and mental health, all have a massive impact on success. And that is very important to name that. But what can we control? What habits are in our control, whatever boat we're in on the choppy sea? And that's what I want to look at today. Okay, so let's dive in. The first one, which seems obvious but actually isn't, is to define what success means to you. Through your matricence, the period of life where you transition to motherhood, your definition of success will change.

5:00It should change. So the first habit I noticed in the most successful women I have interviewed is that they all know what success means to them. Because if you don't define it, someone else will do it for you. Your partner, your family, your boss, maybe even your children. And that's when so many women can start to feel disconnected from themselves and say, I just don't know who I am anymore. That's probably because you don't know what you're aiming for. You don't know what success looks and feels like for you. So ask yourself these simple three questions. What does success in parenting and family life mean to me?

5:43What does financial and work success mean to me? What does time success mean to me? And how will I know for each of those when I've got there? Now, if you answer those three questions and then the last one, which is how will I know when I get there, you will be probably in the top one to two percent of people. And we know that by defining goals, we have so much more success at actually reaching them. And when I'm coaching an executive client, that is always where I start. What does success mean for you now? Okay, the second habit that I noticed in these highly successful women was that they protect their time.

6:26They are time blocking. They are very intentional about their time with their kids. They are very focused on their goals for the day, the week, the month, and they know how that is going to happen. They have rock solid boundaries. They say no a lot and they treat their time like the most precious resource they have because it is. Time is the one thing you can't get back. So if you want to achieve anything across any area of your life and you need to start managing your time like a ninja, and I have got good at this over the years. I time block. I create time for what matters and what is going to move me towards my goals.

7:04You will be amazed by how much time you save by stopping mindless micro scrolls or procrastinating on a WhatsApp reply or being in meetings you don't need to be in. I am kind of known in the team for saying no to 80 % of the meeting requests that I get because a quick 20 minute Zoom coffee with a connection or a friend of a friend, lovely as it would be, quickly turns into 45 minutes. And I only work 20 hours a week. So I have to be very strict with myself about what I'm going to do and not do. So what helps me is coming back to that why. I am insanely focused between 9am and 3pm so that I can have between 3pm and 8pm with my girls, having done everything that I need to get done.

7:50A micro habit I've started doing this month that has really helped me is if something takes less than two minutes, I'm doing it right there and then. So I'm not reading a message anymore and thinking I'll reply to that later because it sits in my head. It sits in my mental load. I reply straight away. Same with little two minute admin jobs, paying a bill or, you know, quickly sorting out something for the kids. If it takes less than two minutes, do it there and then because it stops these little things stacking up, which can feel so overwhelming and this is so important in the early years when you know your children will always want more and more of your time and obviously that's a good thing so we have to get good at managing everything else really efficiently so we can be present when we do have time with them so it's time is our most precious resource and we have to learn how to manage it.

8:44And now a quick word from our sponsors.

8:51Okay, the third thing that I really noticed, particularly even in how we're setting up the podcast and how people are showing up, is hyper-organisation. So having spoken to hundreds of successful women, I know that this organisation is actually the foundation to achieving anything. I used to think it was super boring. I used to really push against it. I used to think I want to be creative and spontaneous. And by nature, I am very disorganized. I like being last minute. I like being spontaneous. But the truth is that just doesn't sit well with a business, a home, a marriage and two kids. So I've had to get really good at organization.

9:27And I've actually learned so much about this from my guests, even how they show up. So Guy and I now have color coded share calendars. I try and get him to sit down with me every Sunday to plan the week ahead. He hates it. So I reckon I have a 20 % success rate of actually doing that. But I use a daily planner, which is time blocked by the hour. I plan out what I need to achieve every quarter. I break that down to every month. I break that down to every week and then every day, which is how I think I can work just 20 hours and yeah, achieve quite a lot. We have a plan on the fridge, which says what everyone is doing, the clubs, the meals.

10:09I batch cook meals for the week ahead. Definitely not all the time, but when I do do this, oh my God, it is such a game changer. And here's a new one for me around organization. I book my exercise classes. So my spin, my weights, my boxing every week in advance. And I put them straight into my calendar and I hold that appointment. So in the last year, I would say I've become the most organized ever in my life. And I've also become the most successful ever in my life. So there's the correlation. There we have it. I don't want it to be one of the habits that I noticed because I don't like the idea of being hyper organized, but it is there.

10:44So I had to share it with you. The fourth one is confidence. Now this one I love. Confidence is so misunderstood. And I talk about this in the book because I used to think that you were even a confident person or you weren't. Very fixed mindset of me. Now you won't believe this, but after interviewing some of these most successful, unbelievable women at the end of the interview, you know, they all ask the same thing. They all say, was that okay? So even the best of the best don't have the rock solid self-belief that we might think they do. But what they do do is show up. And that is what true confidence is.

11:21It is stepping out of your comfort its own. It is starting before you're ready, knowing you've got your own back. I used to think when I feel confident enough, then I'll start a podcast. Then I'll write a book. Then I'll speak to a thousand people on stage. But that isn't how it works. It works the inverse way, right? So you start the podcast and then you grow confidence. One of my favorite guests, Mel Robbins, she talked about the Let Them Tour. She just did this massive global tour and she said she was backstage being sick. She didn't feel ready. She didn't want to do it, but she forced herself to do it, to grow.

11:58And then the confidence came. So we have confidence backwards. We think that we're going to do, feel confident and do the thing. No, we do the thing and that grows the confidence. I cannot emphasize this enough. The most successful women I've interviewed did not wait for permission. They didn't wait for someone to tap them on the shoulder and say, can you start a business? Can you go and retrain? Can you change your career? No, they just did it. You have to make things happen because the sad truth is no one else is going to make it happen for you. And if you need a confidence boost, listen to my episode with my good friend Lauren Curry.

12:38She is one of the leading confidence experts in the UK. That episode is part of the work series that we did back in June. It is full of actionable tips and mindset shifts because I know so many of us struggle with confidence. Okay, so the next one that I really notice these successful women doing is they manage their energy. Energy is finite. Energy is not something that we can just get more and more and more of. And I really notice that these successful women, they're very, very good at prioritizing the things that give them energy. Motherhood and work, particularly if you're changing career or you're starting a business or you're trying to grow a business, it is a marathon.

13:23It is not a sprint. And if you try and sprint for too long, you will burn out. Athletes have known forever that rest is part of the training plan. And I think we really need to get that. I need to get that, that actually using rest intentionally, knowing that energy is my most valuable resource, is the only way that I can continue to show up. And you can continue to show up as the woman and the mother that you want to be. So lots of successful women I've interviewed, I've noticed even when the inbox is full and people are needing them, they will tend to themselves first. They will do something that sustains them so they can keep going.

14:03I actually wonder if this is a lesson that you can only learn from bitter experience. And that was definitely the case for me. I had burnout in 2021 and I had to learn a completely new way to manage my energy. So take this shortcut. If you don't want to burn out, you don't need to burn out to learn the vital importance of managing your energy. And we have a whole episode on burnout from Dr. Claire. She's known as the burnout doctor, definitely go and check that one out. So that is it. The five habits of the most successful mothers I have interviewed. Number one is they know what success is. Number two, they protect their time like it is the most precious resource that they've got because it is.

14:49Number three, they are hyper-organized. Number four, they are confident. They are not waiting for permission. They are just doing it and then letting the confidence grow as a result. And Number five, they are managing their own energy and wellbeing because they know that how they are impacts everything. So if you only take one of those and start in tiny ways to implement it, your life will probably change. It's a big promise, but I really believe it. I'll link up in the show notes some of the episodes that I mentioned and a few more follow-ons if you want to listen to more on this topic. I am cheering you on and I will see you next time.

15:26Thanks for being here with me.

15:32what an incredible episode i hope you loved it too if you've got this far then i am guessing that you did so make sure that you share it with a friend and subscribe so you never miss an episode and i will see you next monday and thursday for more see you next time