MOMENT | Choosing authenticity, even when it isn’t what others want to hear, with Candice Braithwaite

0:03Hi, everyone. Thank you for being here. Thank you for pressing play. Welcome to this motherkind moment, your place on a Monday for calm connection and maybe even a shift in perspective for the crazy week ahead. Today is a really emotional clip from an incredible conversation I had with Candice Brathwaite back in 2020. Candice shares how the boundaries she's had to set and how lonely it can be standing in your power but how she couldn't imagine it any other way here is the clip I hope you love it do you see yourself as that like character in your lineage completely but it comes at a really massive cost I am the black sheep of my family on both sides but specifically on my maternal side I'm too outspoken I rock the boat too much why can't you just accept that this is the way things have always been and why can't you just be a cog in this wheel because it was about 20 that I really started to spread my wings and be like this is so wrong this is so traumatic that actually I'm physically going to run away I'm going to move away and try and find my way in the world because anything is better than doing this again and again and again and it's come at great cost it's come at a cost that my children won't pay the same price but I've paid a very heavy price for the things I write and the way I speak and so I'm always very tender with especially women black women about encouraging them to live their truth it's like yeah cute but so few speak about the cost of this living of truth not everyone can afford it not everyone is ready for it and I don't want to like paint this idea of freedom that most nights I'm really lonely even today I'm really alone in this celebration because I have decided to go against everything that my community says is okay so yeah and does it feel now like you couldn't imagine it any other way completely I was really lucky my dad and my maternal grandfather from a really young age were like caution to the wind screw what any of them say or think you get one shot do it to the best of your ability and don't even let like your own mother's ideals hold you back I'm really really lucky there are some people trying to do the work or the activism I do with no one supporting them you know my dad's dead now but at least I had two guys back in my corner who were like for you to be the person we know you're destined to be you're gonna have to cut a lot of people off including maybe even the person that gave birth to you which is so crazy you know Maya Angelou talks about the same right she says the same thing but for her it was the other way it was her mother who kept saying to her you're destined you're destined she believed it it makes me really emotional I don't know why I know it's a really I've been crying all morning because I said online and then no I'm gonna cry I said I don't think people understand how social media does get a bad rep sometimes but people online have stood in for me today where my parents aren't there you know and so it's really been a place of joy for me today it's like yeah not everyone is in agreement with the way you're trying to push a narrative forward but there is so much love from people you may never meet that it's enough to like bridge that gap and so yeah I see it's so true and you know someone said to me you never know like it's not often the people who comment even who are in your inbox that you're influencing and we've had a few exchanges on Instagram, not many, but you have really influenced me in terms of your mindset and your thinking.

4:28And, and I think you will be having a far greater influence than you even could fathom right now. I'm sure of it. And that's the thing. And that's the only thing I'm holding onto. And I especially understand that as a black woman, black people are going to read that book and the work is going to happen so quietly because there are going to be people that are ready to admit they're in traumatic relationships with their mother, their father, their husband. And they're going to read that and be like, I'm going now. You do not need to make a public declaration about that. But to know I was part of that choice is really a massive deal, honestly.

5:07It's a huge legacy. Yes. Yes. Legacy has been the theme of the week in our household and yeah to know that I've had my place in that or this book will do that it's almost scary