Moment | Why One Word Works Better Than Any Resolution

0:08Hey everyone, it's your host Zoe here. Welcome, welcome. It's Monday which means it's motherkind moment day and today's moment is about one of my favourite new year practices to choose a word of the year. I absolutely love choosing my word of the year and I'm going to talk you through exactly how to do it. I hope you love this little shot of inspiration this morning. Here it is and make sure to subscribe so you never miss a Monday moment ever again. Craig's never shown an interest in beekeeping before, but that's the sound of him buying 2 ,000 worker bees rather than doing his self-assessment.

0:44Craig, you live in a sixth floor flat. The deadline is 31st of January. Less distraction, more action. Don't be like Craig. Visit gov.uk forward slash self-assessment today. Payment support may be available. The first step is really about zooming up. I kind of picture this kind of bird's eye view, like you're shooting up into the sky, maybe some people might call it a helicopter view, you're shooting up and you're looking down on your life. That is the first step is to get a bit of perspective. And the way that I do this, and I've actually done this for 15 years, I have been into this work for that long, is to choose a word of the year.

1:31And the reason I absolutely love this is because it's super simple but it's also actually really galvanizing it forces you to think in a bigger perspective because it's just one word so I want you to think about now what does this year what does 2025 represent to you and I had a look back I've got a journal. I had to look back over the past words that I've had. And in 2015, my first year of motherhood, my word was surrender. I then had confidence when I was setting up the business. I had brave when I started to take more risks, courage. And that turned out to be the year that we moved to the sea when I didn't know a single person.

2:19And I then had the word trust, which actually turned out to be the year that I had multiple miscarriages and then went on to conceive my second daughter. So I think that these words have a way of anchoring us into the theme of the year. So that is your first step. I want you to brainstorm a few ideas. You're not going to come to this straight away. Don't put that pressure on yourself. Just ask yourself this question. If this year were to represent a word or a theme, what would it be? Jot a few down, think about a few, and it might be a word like surrender or it might be a quality that you really want to embody this year like confidence my word for this year is worth and my word for last year was visible because I knew it would be a year that I really had to step out of my comfort zone in so many ways with the book and become way more visible which I did I loved it so that was my word last year my word this year is worth because I want to see my worth a lot more in terms of what I bring to my family my worth in terms of the work that I do and the worth in terms of all the abundance that I just want to bring into my life so that is my word for this year is worth 2025 so I am so curious to hear what your word is going to be so have a think about it and even if you just do this one step, I think is super powerful because it can anchor you if you keep coming back to it.

3:51If you've chosen the word confidence or courage or brave and you've got a decision to make, I really think that can help you, you know, in the middle of the year and you're like, I don't know what to do. And then you might remember my word was courage. I'm going to go for it. So choose your word, write it down. Don't just think about it. You have to write it down and ideally put it somewhere visible, put it on your mirror, put it on the fridge, on a post-it, have that word visible also super fun thing to do with the kids if they're old enough and anyone else in your life that you kind of want to have these deeper conversations with okay so that is the first step is think about your word for the year second step i want you to take that theme or that word and think about three goals that you would like to achieve this year so think not only about the goal but also the why underneath that goal so write out your three goals and then think about why does this matter to me why this year what's different because I'll bet you might have had some version of these goals before what will happen if I don't achieve this what's the risk what's the gain you really want to unpack and sort of look at all angles I'm imagining like a dice as I'm saying this look at all angles of the goal and really get underneath it because it might mean that you change it it might mean that you make it more specific or it might mean that you realize actually I'm just saying this because I think I should but actually I don't really want to do that thing and that is so powerful to realize that so three goals think about those questions the why does this matter why this year what will happen if I don't achieve it

5:34So some people might be thinking, why only three? Well, if you write a list of 10 goals, it's just way too many. It is never going to happen. Most people never achieve their goals. And I think that's because they're often way too vague. They don't focus on it enough. And there is just too many. So you want to have maximum three. I like to have one personal, one family, and one work. Now, the most important thing is to make sure that these goals are specific. So many people will share their goals with me and they are just way, way, way too vague. I cannot emphasize this enough. So if you have a goal that says, I want to get healthy this year, I guarantee you will never achieve that.

6:23It is way too vague. You need to define what healthy means for you and make it time bound. So imagine if you changed, I want to get healthy this year too. I will do a 20 minute HIIT workout three times a week and I will have three meals a week completely free from processed food. Can you see how that is actually achievable? Can you see how that goal, 20 minute HIIT three times a week, you're going to be able to put those in your diary. You're going to be able to measure that. Am I doing it? If not, why not? Is it too much? Am I struggling to fit it in. Same with the meals. Whereas if you have like a vague goal, I want to get healthy.

6:59It's just not going to happen. So last year, one of my big goals was the book launch. And I didn't say I want a successful book launch because I can't achieve that. What does that even mean? What does successful mean? I defined exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be on the Sunday Times bestseller list. I thought about how many copies I wanted to sell, how many mothers I wanted to reach, even what reviews I wanted, because the more specific you are, the more likely it is that you are going to achieve whatever you want to achieve. It's like with children. I think we all know this, right? If you say something vague to a child, like, I want you to be kind on this play date.

7:37It's really hard for them to work out what does that mean? What does that look like? Whereas if you said on this play date, I want you to share at least one toy with your friend. They can actually do that. And that is why I'm pretty obsessed, actually with being specific in my language with my children at work and definitely with goals because then you can measure it and I would say that this is one of the absolute top things to get right when you're thinking about what you want to achieve even if you just set yourself one goal make it specific I cannot emphasize that enough the other thing to say when you're setting your goals is don't make them too big and too ambitious.

8:18And I know that sounds strange coming from someone like me, whose kind of job is to help people lean into what's possible for them. But what I see time and time and time again is two bigger goals that are completely unachievable going for it in January, burning out and then giving up in February. That is a really, really common pattern that I see. So going back to that example that I just said about, you know you want to get into fitness you want to get into exercise you know three hit workouts a week you might want to for january almost do the opposite of what we're told which is to scale back in january so maybe just do two a week in january make that change sustainable get that win behind your belt start believing i'm the sort of person that can keep a promise to myself i'm the sort of person that can set a goal and achieve it and then increase it that is so much more powerful and effective than doing the opposite, which is I'm going to work out every single day in January, completely unachievable for most people.

9:16And then by February, you've completely given up and you're saying to yourself, well, I knew I was just the sort of person that couldn't do this. So small, consistent changes is the way to do it. Now, the last thing, and this is again, super important with any goal is to write them down, make it visible, make it somewhere that you're going to see them every single day. Some clients of mine even have the word of the year as the phone background or their goals as their phone background or on a post-it on the fridge. You have to make it visible. Why? Because you will forget. The mental load of the day-to-day is so huge.

9:54I guarantee you there will always be something else tugging at your attention. There is always going to be something else that wants your focus. And if you haven't written down what it is that you want to focus on, you will forget. It's just a guarantee. And it's so powerful to think to yourself, everything, everyone is dragging me in a million different directions, but this is what is important to me. This is what I'm focusing on. And even by writing it down, I think there's a study that says that you're 42 % more likely to achieve your goals just by writing it down. So that is super powerful in itself.

10:34What an incredible episode. I hope you loved it too. If you've got this far, then I am guessing that you did. So make sure that you share it with a friend and subscribe so you never miss an episode. And I will see you Thursday for more. See you next time.