The 3-Step Method To Replace Your Self-Doubt With Self-Belief

0:01Hi, welcome to this episode of the Mother Kind podcast. It is me, your host Zoe, and this is the show that is for you, the woman behind the mother, and we are proudly supported by Wild Nutrition's Women's Supplements. I cannot have another incredible woman sat in front of me doubting herself. Almost every woman that I speak to at the moment is stuck in self-doubt, overthinking, guilt, fear, and honestly, it breaks my heart and it fires me up because I need you to believe in yourself. I want you to see what the rest of the world sees. I want you to be able to wake up and every day believe in yourself, trust in yourself, feel good about yourself and have clarity and confidence for where you are going.

0:45So what I'm going to teach you today is theory, but it also isn't just theory because it has worked first on me and also with hundreds of clients. So I have transformed from someone with zero confidence, full of doubt, constantly questioning and doubting myself to today, really strong self-belief, a good trust in myself that's enabled me to start my dream business, write a Sunday Times bestseller, speak on stages, host this podcast for eight years and believe in myself as a mother, trust myself as a friend and wife. And everything in my life changed when I understood what I am about to teach you is also worked with the celebrities with the CEOs with the founders that I've coached and I'm going to teach it to you now in just a few minutes so listen or watch to the end and I'm going to teach you how to get rid of your self-doubt forever the first thing that you need to know is that self-doubt shows up the most when you are changing and growing that's why we doubt ourselves so much as mothers because it's all new self-doubt is your brain actually trying to keep you safe so the brain loves the familiar and this version of you hasn't done this before hasn't been this woman at this age with this challenge or the thing you want to do so the brain's answer to that to this unfamiliar territory is self-doubt which sounds like who am I to do this?

2:17This will never work. I'm doing it all wrong. I've messed them up and on and on. So the key to life, and I really mean this, is to not listen to your thoughts. So your thoughts are based on your beliefs about yourself, often programmed in childhood, the experiences you had, and they're based on the past. But we're not going that way. We're not going backwards. We're in our matrescence. We are moving forwards.

2:48So if we want to get rid of self-doubt to move forward, then we need to learn not to listen to old thoughts, right? Old thoughts, old patterns, new thoughts, new patterns. Because these things that your brain is telling you, they're not the objective truth. They are your brain trying to keep you safe, trying to keep you the same and in your comfort zone. Because your brain isn't actually designed for your happiness and growth. It is designed for safety. And for the brain, safety is familiarity. And because your brain experiences the new or unfamiliar as a threat, that is when all that self-doubt is trying to come up.

3:30So here we are trying to move forward, trying to do new things, maybe change career, get into a new relationship, move country. We've got little children and our brain wants us to stay the same all the time. So it will give you all the thoughts and all the reasons not to, even though it really is something that you want. So the first simple step to stopping your self-doubt is to stop listening to the self-doubt thoughts. Obvious, yes. Easy, no. How do you do it? So you notice the thoughts and you let them go. You don't make them real. You don't make them a big deal. If your thoughts are cars on the road, then we're just going to stand on the pavement and we're just going to notice them going by.

4:09We don't flag one down and jump in and sit in the back and let us let it drive us all the way to self-doubt, confusion and frustration.

4:20So once you stop listening to those self-doubt thoughts, you've realized they're not actually the truth, then you need to take action. And this is where we really get to move past self-doubt because self-doubt keeps you stuck. The number one thing it does is keeps you overthinking and listening to those thoughts and not taking action. So it just makes sense, doesn't it? That to overcome self-doubt, which keeps us stuck, we have to move, we have to act, we have to do the opposite. And this is magic because confidence doesn't actually get showered down on you from above. It's not something you have or don't have.

4:58It comes from action. Okay, so think about our little ones. They didn't think crawling along the floor, huh, I feel confident in my ability to walk and then stand up and do it. Of course they didn't. They didn't sit around waiting to feel confident and then do it. My eight-year-old, she would still be probably sat there now on the floor waiting to feel confident. This is an insane idea, but that's what we do. We sit around waiting to believe that we can do the thing before we try it. So our children watched, they developed, and then one day they just stood up and started to try and walk. And then they fell and then they tried again and again.

5:44And then when they were walking, they felt confident in their ability to walk. So the action comes first, then the confidence. I did not wait until I felt confident in podcasting to start a podcast. I never would have started it. I didn't wait to feel confident in my ability to write a book before I started writing it. I just started. Of course, the self-doubt came. It came really loud. But back to step one, I didn't listen. I just kept taking the action. And now I'm an extremely confident podcaster. and I believe in my ability to write bestsellers but only because I started and that leads us to step three which is build evidence so we don't listen to the self-doubt we're taking action and then we are building new evidence and it's this evidence that updates your belief about yourself so now I have evidence that I'm someone who can figure things out I'm someone who takes action when I'm scared.

6:47I'm someone who can focus when I need to. And you can start to develop all of these unbelievable beliefs about yourself. And then your whole self image changes and you become unstoppable. Only joking. You don't actually become unstoppable. We nearly became a bro podcast. You don't become unstoppable because, you know, we're kind of tired sometimes. But you become someone who has replaced self-doubt with self-belief and that my friends will change your life okay there we have it i believe in you even if you don't believe in yourself yet and i hope this helps and remember by you working on your self-belief it also has an unbelievable impact on your children because they are learning from us so what greater motivation do you need to you actually start putting in place some of these things.

7:39Make sure you sign up to my exclusive email list, which will be in the show notes below. I share what I'm reading, watching, listening to and doing in my own life to keep growing and continually trying to show my girls what a fulfilled, confident life looks like. So just hop on in the show notes and sign up below and I will see you next time. That was the episode. I hoped you loved it. If you did, please make sure you subscribe and I will see you next time.