Why Being a Good Mother Might Mean Putting Yourself First

0:00Take us back to that moment. It's not a running photo, it's a metaphor for motherhood. I'm trying to breastfeed, I'm trying to recover my body at the same time as go after my goal. How do we change the world for women? Sophie Power came to the world's attention. She's advocated for women's rights in sports, founding She Races. She is also a mum of three and a runner representing Great Britain. I've got two Guinness World Records for ultra running and I've got them after I've had three kids and I started running only because I lost myself. I nearly lost my life in Cambodia and I went to a coma.

0:31I had an eating disorder when I was younger and I struggled with defining my self-worth as what I looked like. How did that help you rediscover yourself? The second my daughter came out I thought I can't do this anymore. Sophie welcome to Mother Kind. I'm so absolutely buzzing to have this chat this morning. Thanks for having me on. I'm excited. I've been listening to the podcast and so many women kind of having these amazing careers and sharing kind of their tips so I've learned so much from the podcast so I'm excited for the conversation. Take us back to that moment the viral photo moment that changed your life on the UTMB you're breastfeeding mid-race but what really happened tell us the story behind the story.

1:15So the UTMB the the ultra trail of Mont Blanc is 106 mile race around Mont Blanc and you climb kind of more than the elevation of Mount Everest from sea level and it's this iconic race that is so hard to get into it's like the world championships of ultra running and I've been running for for many years before that not very seriously as a real amateur and I was desperate to do this race and you have to get do other races to get points and I'd first had a place um four years before the photo in when I had my first son and I lost that place because I was pregnant and they wouldn't let me defer it they'd let you defer for injury but they wouldn't let you defer for pregnancy and it took me four years to get this place and it was a struggle to to to kind of become pregnant the second time and I assumed that I'd have the place and you know I'd have a year old baby on the start line and you know when we saw those two lines in the pregnancy test we realized he was going to be three months old and I just said to myself I can't do it and my husband said but how can we do this like could you just go and god love him he's amazing he's he he helps me reframe these things and said how can we and maybe that was just to do 10k maybe that was just to experience the start line in Chamonix that was the plan initially right was that you were just going to do 10k just to be there so you didn't have to defer the place again.

2:39And I had such difficult pelvic health problems after my first, I couldn't take a running step for three months. No one told me what a pelvic floor was before I got pregnant. And I struggled to return. I didn't think it was a possibility, but we had it in our minds that having this date in the diary would just be a real kind of reference point to make sure I stay kind of fit and healthy through pregnancy, to make sure I continue to prioritize my health, my mental health through running as well and I realized you know six weeks after I had him actually my pelvic floor's okay I can run I'm healing maybe I can be on that start line and what happened three days before the race was that I had my three-year-old and there were other races going on during during the the week and he was seeing these dads run across the line with their children and the kids can run for the first last hundred meters or so and he goes mommy that's going to be me that's going to be me and the shock of my system when I realized I had to get myself around that course because you know three-year-olds do not understand dnfs like the do not finish he wanted and I wanted and I think when I go back to the finish line like I get so emotional because I look down at him and there's this beautiful photo me looking down at him going he must think and women are amazing this is change this is going to change his life but the photo was halfway around and to get around this race was a logistical nightmare because I was only breastfeeding and so to meet Cormac my baby my husband brought him through the Mont Blanc tunnel I had to not I was kind of express I was feeding him at start line expressing you must have been running with engorged breasts 16 hours and I was squeezing any breastfeeding mother right now has probably involuntarily gone like that just like just like the stretched skin they were like watermelons and I was trying to relieve I had no pump with me um I had the I actually know I had the the kind of the non the manual ones yeah that I was using all the way around I was squeezing my breasts out behind trees through the night it was good that it started at six o 'clock at night because that meant he was feeding a little bit less through the night so they weren't building up as much but it was 16 hours to get to him and that photo is is just relief it's I'm breastfeeding him one side I'm pumping the other side and there's a guy like asleep with his legs up next to me because I've just run through the night with no sleep and that's what I wanted to do but I had a much more important job so what does that photo really represent for me it's it's not a running photo and I think that's why it went so viral it's a metaphor for motherhood it's all about the physical load that we have as mothers you know kind of I'm trying to breastfeed, I'm trying to recover my body at the same time as go after my goal.

5:27It's the mental load behind it with the juggling, with the talking to my crew, with the everything, the invisible load that went on behind just trying to get me to that finish line. It's the barriers that I should never ever have been there. I should be allowed to defer my place a year after when I was properly fit and healthy. And for me really it's about strength and redefining strength not as something that looks effortless but as a mother's kind of defiance to choose between caring for her child um and going after her goals yeah you're so right to me when i when i saw it it represented all of that and i really thought this is just a photo that represents how the world isn't designed for us how it is an understanding of why you would need to defer a race like that three months postpartum and I think that's why sport's incredible because sport is such a powerful lens and I think people saw that photo and go she shouldn't have been there and so many people realized that actually sport's not designed for women and maybe the rest of society isn't designed for women because it's default male lens and I know we'll go on to talk about she races and what we do now but it's very much how do we change the world for women and can Can we change sport as a conduit to changing the way for the world for women now?

6:53In that moment, did you think this is going to change my life? Did you think I'm going to become an activist? Did you think you just thought I'm exhausted? I've got I want to do this race. I have to do this race. Right. I and I and I need to breastfeed. Do you remember the moment the photo was taken and what was your emotional state? What thoughts were with you? So the photographer is an incredibly famous trail running photographer who just happened to be there. And no one else had noticed me. So picture this massive. Which is another metaphor, right? The invisibility. This massive crowded sports hall.

7:28And I actually got in and I couldn't even get a seat. There were people like bodies littered everywhere. People rifling through bags. And I just spot the seat and I'm carrying Cormac in. So I was handed Cormac to carry in with me. No one blinks at all. and I see the seat at the side and it's in this cordoned off area. I'm like, I'm going for that seat. I've got a baby. I've got no badge on. I've got a baby. I'm going in. And, you know, Alexi approached my husband and said, can you take the photo? And my husband's like, what? Like, why do you want to take a photo of my wife? Like, kind of, and he's like, well, you know, this is interesting.

8:04So John comes and talks to me and he said, this guy wants to take a photo. And I thought, if the race organizer sees this photo, they're gonna realize I shouldn't be there yeah they're gonna realize and I never want another mother to go through this barrier to achieving her goals that I've had to go through and that's all I thought I thought it would be a simple photo the race organizer would change their policy it actually took me several years to get that policy changed but that's all I thought and it was only the week after where Alexei sends me the photo and he goes this is special and I just the intake of breath I had and it's so raw and it's so powerful and it's so beautiful I had no idea because I wasn't on social media and I only kind of started in Instagram kind of ultra Sophie just after the photo I didn't know that this wasn't normal for this choice to women to making this choice between you know being a hundred percent mother and even trying to go after our girls yeah it's so I feel so emotional thinking about that moment I think it was the the guy sleeping next to you is what was the real gut punch right it's just it's just that message tell me about how running and motherhood have intersected for you because you had a three-year old at the point the photo was taken were you running before then did you get into it in in postpartum tell us about that kind of journey that you had with running that intersects with your two kids I think of an interesting running journey so I was not the sporty kid so it's kind of it's quite crazy now I've got kind of three GB bests and isn't it amazing because I say the same about myself I was never sporty but actually now I'm I'm into weightlifting and I love it and I'm really good at it and I think I probably was sporty I think I probably just didn't have the right sport and the right opportunities yeah I think there's a there's a I was second last in the mile at school and now I've got two Guinness World Records for ultra running and I've got three kids and I've got them after I've had three kids and I've got my GB vests and my team gold medal at the world championships over 24 hours after I've had my three children and I started running only because I lost myself and I was 26 and I lost my job and it connects to mother I love my job in finance and I just got married and they had to choose someone to make redundant and they chose me because I just got married and in that redundancy meeting I was told that I should I was 26 I should go and have babies and not turn to work for a few years because your brain goes to mush when you have children and this is my redundancy meeting and I was so lost and I didn't know what to do and I'd lost all my confidence and it was the first time in my life that I'd ever felt that I would have more barriers than men.

11:01Like I'd had a career in investment banking. I was in a man's world and I was thriving in this man's world. And that's what they told me. And my friend had just done the marathon to Saab, this race across the Sahara Desert. And he said, Sophie, you need to do this. You've got nine months to train. You're great at hiking. Everyone talks about it as a running race. This is a language that's involved in sports sometimes, like big, as bad, as tough as. He's like, you can walk it. like 95 % of people finish this race just walk it go and find yourself and it was the best conversation I'd had and I completed this race did really well and what made you think just pause there because what made you I think we get those glimmers of opportunity all the time in motherhood where it's like I feel lost I could do or a friend says why don't you go and do that why don't you just quit your job and so many of us think I don't know I could never do that what what was it in you that was like, do you know, I think I'm going to give that a crack, even though, because the marathon does start, but I'm not in this world.

11:58Even I have this perception of that as this insane race. What was it in your mindset, you think, and how could other people use that mindset? So I had to really think about this. When I wrote the book, The Power Within, it was being like all these jigsaw pieces of how did I get here and how did I do that? And I think I've always known that you take on a challenge and then you complete that and then you have this ability think what else can I do and I've gone back through my world and gone I've always fallen back on well I know I can do this and that's only a small jump to the next thing I knew I could hike yep and so I knew that's only a small jump to doing this race and then you just race and that opens up so many possibilities and can I had this thing called the power jar of things that like mentally I put when I do something that I thought I couldn't do and then when I go look at this next challenge and I'd always say to everyone like you say oh I can't do that but think of the reasons you can and we forget all these amazing things that we've done that we never thought we could do and when we go back and think about them okay actually you know that I can do that and I break it all down and I love an excel spreadsheet love them um and I love like breaking it down as a different challenge and I just thought he believes in me and I can see how I can do this and when we look where she races when we look at kind of cut-offs where you know you've got a time to do something breaking it down into what pace do I need to go to meet that and have I done that in training and have I done that here and I knew that I could finish it and I've taken that mindset into so much more of what I do now is just I've done this like when I ran the length of Ireland And, you know, I knew I was a good 24 hour runner.

13:45Like I knew I could do that. And I knew I'd done a longer race than that, but more hiking. So could I do 350 miles? And could I do that in three and a half days? Yes, on paper, yes. So if it's okay on paper, well, let's just go for it. And did you find yourself, so you talked about feeling lost in postpartum. And I talk a lot about this word matrescence, which is that process that you go through. How did connecting with having a goal that was outside of motherhood, on the surface of it would be a conflict, right? How did that help you rediscover yourself? I think my matrizes came before I became a mother.

14:26I think it, so I nearly lost my life in Cambodia. So I did one of these stage races and I drank too much water and I went into a coma. and my husband was given a phone call saying she's got half a chance of dying and half a chance of brain damage and you need to get on a plane and I luckily made a full recovery probably because I was fit which is one of the other reasons such an advocate for women to to take control of of our health and how it's so important for us to be healthy because we're more resilient but it was that moment I realized I wanted to become a mother because I didn't really know before I can always see myself at this kind of kind of bashing down glass ceilings with like my red soled shoes and it I knew I had to become a mother to make my husband happy in a way I knew he would not be complete without being a father and when I married him I knew that was kind of what I wanted to do we never talked about it he never asked it but I knew that but I hadn't felt it within myself and that Cambodia made life so clear that I wanted to become a mum and then it was when the hormones hit so when I became pregnant the hormones hit so badly like so strongly that my whole life where I thought I was climbing this ladder I was CFO of a global marketing agency at the time and I found myself walking along Euston Road and thinking about the impact that that polluted air was having on my unborn child's lungs and thinking I have to fix this problem and that tipped my life into I think taking away the comparison to others and what I should be doing.

16:05What society told me was success which was you know being kind of my trajectory was being CFO of a FTSE 100 company and becoming a mother took that away and said that's not important at all. What is important is so much more and when I think about my running I think about the role modeling I'm setting for my children and especially my daughter I think they're probably kind of two periods in my probably three of my chest is becoming a mother um and then wanting to do more for the world do more for mothers do more for children that photo and then especially having my daughter isn't it fascinating how you had that desire out there that shift in you and then this photo brought that shift into reality it's just it's mind-blowing actually that that's how that how that happened it ignited I think that's why it was such a kind of it was always there for you and I was working and I was working I was CEO of a startup and we invented the first technology that cleaned polluted air from diesel fumes and I was trotting to Denmark where my team was and I think kind of I moved my family out of London soon after that photo and fell out the investors and then left the company because I had this much stronger draw and I knew I had a platform to to drive real change for for women for mothers and and then finally realized this is for sport it's not about pregnancy deferrals it's about kind of the fact that sport is designed through a default male lens and women have a right to sport because it's so important for us physically for our health but mentally for our health and that photo you know ignited that inside me and it's I'm so grateful to Alexi for seeing it like we're such good friends now and and he's he we would not have ever imagined what's come of it but you said there were three stages to your matricence and then I jumped in because I just really wanted to underscore that point what was the third stage third was having my daughter yes and it shouldn't be different having a daughter and I always wanted to be that role model for my sons but for my daughter especially I I did I had to develop a different relationship with my body because I've always I had an eating disorder when I was younger I was overweight as a child that's probably why I was second last in the mile at school I had six months where I ate 500 calories a day I when I was 14 I lost all the weight I can remember like exactly what I ate every day and I struggle with defining my self-worth as what I look like.

18:43And even through the running and even through completing these races, I was looking at a number on a scale. And the second my daughter came out, I thought, I can't do this anymore because I never want her to see this. I want her to believe her body is strong. You know, we compare muscles in the mirror. And it did that, but it also looked at the role modeling I was doing at home. And our children, you know, they don't listen to what we say. They watch what we do. And I didn't want my motherhood, I don't want you a role model for martyrdom. I wanted to give her a different way of seeing things and what she can be.

19:21And if I minimize myself and I put myself at the back of the queue, then that's what she sees as a template for women. And that's what my boys see. And it's equally important that they see that mum is taking time for herself. The mum believes that my health is important. and they learn to respect women differently because of it hey it's zoe quick one can you subscribe i don't know about you but i do this all the time i find content that i love that is helping me and then it just adds to my mental load that i have to go and find it again if you hit subscribe wherever you are listening or watching to this you don't have to do this it is just going to show up in your library when you need me most i will be there it is completely free so hit subscribe you've really got nothing to lose it is so true and I and I hear this all the time that you know I think I think it is gendered and and so many things aren't that when we become mothers we you can't help but look inward can you and think what am I what am I modeling I want to talk about that exercise gap because I think it's absolutely huge 75 % of mothers say they haven't got time to exercise as opposed to 20 % of fathers.

20:33So clearly there is an issue here. How have you, firstly, two parts to that. How have you overcome that in the way that you set up your life so that you can train for these huge races? And how would you help other women who are like, I'm taking on the default parenting, I'm taking on the majority of the mental load I actually don't have time to exercise where would you start with that person oh gosh I mean I think exercise is very much mental health yeah as well as physical health for me and I after my first child kondonica I had postnatal depression um undiagnosed but pretty sure it was there kind of because I couldn't move because I didn't have help my pelvic floor I didn't know why I was leaking no one was interested there was no support and I couldn't run I couldn't move my body and I fell into this hole and I was tumbling and it was only when I found these support shorts and I got myself back and I got myself running again that I felt myself again and my husband and I knew from that point that we had to plan for a life after pregnancy with my second child and to work out how does Sophie stay fit and healthy during her pregnancy?

21:47How do we protect her afterwards? And he was the one that 11 days postpartum takes a baby and goes, we have a gym at home. He goes, go up to the gym and walk on the treadmill. Go on the bike, do something for you. Just get yourself moving again. He probably saw you slowly fading in front of his eyes and was petrified. Yeah, he was. I think and he understands that we have to be strong as mothers and you know I know I'm a better mother when I get back from a run I'm a happier person um the kids love it they give me my shoes because dad will give them far better snacks than I will give them he'll give them access to those cupboards that are like no one of these a day like they're just like eating whatever they want to but they know like this is about longevity this is about kind of mom being able to be a better mom and I think we went through the next pregnancies and after my third was the worst I had a prolapse and coming back from that was so difficult but I had a coach and we had the family around I made a film about prolapse um if you go on YouTube and look at Sophie Power it's a film about it was supposed to be a film about getting back to performance running and in the end because I had this diagnosed prolapse it ends up being a film about how hard it is and I talk about in the book and I'm very open and honest about my three pregnancies and how difficult each of them were but I'm so lucky that I learned early to prioritize that because I remember um being at little parties nursery parties my first son in the afternoon on a Saturday and it was always the mums there and so I said well where are the um um where are the dads they're all playing football yeah they're getting their exercise in and then I asked them you know I'd have my run in the morning and my husband was probably off cycling so I was there like what did you do for yourself this morning and like well I tried to go to yoga but I didn't manage because we were really busy and so so you didn't have a slot and they're like well I could have gone at any time I could have gone running anytime I we ran out of time and I learned that the men they had this slot they had to be there and we need to learn from that and go we have to be there for a slot we book our class we have a running coach without my coach eddie who has three kids so she understands my life completely like half term week is like the week where i do less running i have a recovery week because life is mad but we need to have those slots and we need to prioritize ourselves and be like you know i'm gonna go at that time and nothing's gonna stand in the way and it's so easy to let that creep go over for the kids wanting to do more and then wanting to do an extra session of something but that means we lose out in terms like if we look at a family ROI a family return on investment you know everyone should be getting their time and if I'm not healthy and fit and strong I cannot be the CEO of a family power and if I can't be that then everyone else suffers do your kids ever get upset when you say right I'm going on a 10-hour training run or whatever it is or I'm going away to do this race do they how do they feel about that and how do you handle that do you experience guilt they absolutely love it and I think you know they love the fact that mum races for Great Britain and they love the fact that they see me cross finish lines and they they see how hard I work and they see the juggle and I try and bring them up to have respect I mean there was definitely like shouting last night because we they weren't getting to bed and I still had to get on the bike and as like explaining them and sitting them down you're costing me time by this I then can't get my training I'm then in bed later I'm then not getting my recovery and just the boys understanding to have respect for others in that way yes but you don't need to be running for Great Britain to do this I think just teaching your children to have understand that you need these things and they need these things and we work as a team together and you know I my my oldest plays hockey and I see all these other parents freezing on the start line on on the on the on the touch line kind of watching their kid because they don't they feel guilty for missing a goal and I'm running laps around and I'll see him every now and then and and he said you see my goal like yep saw your goal how was it who passed to you but I'm getting that training session in that then means that later in the day I can be fully present for him and I know that we we're juggling and we miss out on things and I'm very selective about what I say no to like I'm not on the PTA like I'm not doing these things that take time everything I say yes to I work out does this take away from my life with my kids and and sometimes you're saying no to something because you know that that week's really busy and I want to be at home with my children and me being properly present for them for an hour is far more important than watching the hockey match.

26:43Yeah. Tell me about She Runs, which came as a result of this just incredible moment with the photo. I really was struck by how many parallels there are between what you're doing at She Runs and what we need to do in organizations. So tell us about some of the changes that you've made in sports, in running races. So I think straight after that photo, so many organizations contacted me about pregnancy deferrals and thinking, you know, we need to make sure that women can, you know, delay their place for a year. Were they like, we just never thought of this? Yes. They were, we've never thought about it because we're men and it doesn't happen to us.

27:21And so many were embarrassed, probably embarrassed. And men call me, I never thought. And I had this policy that said no refunds or deferrals under any circumstances. And I thought women would, of course I'd say yes to a woman who is pregnant. But I said, women don't ask. so you've had women that have just lost their place and their money and their and I actually think it's more important the opportunity because having that date in the diary that we know we're going back to a race that is the gold that is the date that is going to allow us to prioritize our training for our family to understand our training and that's why I think it's so important for women to book races and not just to say or book events or book something that says I've got this I've got my plan because the guilt is really powerful and so many people but you've got I've got to do this because I know that I've played this we that's why races are important and you know she races is all about finish lines change lives like crossing that line is so important for us and it was after the the UTMB and we talk about pregnancy deferrals that I had a very public fight with the London marathon after this amazing woman Jess was not allowed to defer her place and she was allowed to run eight weeks postpartum but not eight months because that was a year after COVID where there were two in a year and they said you can't defer it was a championship entry so she'd run fast to get it and they said you know no we we never let you defer because you're less likely to repeat your qualifying time, the further away it is from that date, which works.

29:02You know, you've done that fast time, you may lose fitness, unless you've had a baby in between. Where your whole body has changed. And they didn't get this. And it was such a, it was such a hard, they weren't, they wouldn't listen to me. And so I wrote an op-ed in national news. And finally, we went through sponsors and they made the change, finally. And it was so hard to get that change. And it made so much sense and you're talking about inclusivity for women we are not men you know we're we're physiologically different but also sociologically different and when it came to she races I realized that this wasn't about pregnancy this wasn't about motherhood this was about default male lens on sporting events and that we were being we were underrepresented especially the kind of events I do the longer events you know I'd be on a start line with 10 % of women so I took a step back and thought I need to learn because I know my barriers I know what I've gone through but I'm only one woman so I got 2 ,000 women to tell me their stories and all kinds of all ages kind of colors backgrounds sizes abilities experience to talk about events from 5k to ultramarathon to now kind of Ironman triathlon and we realized that there were some really basic cost-free things that races could do to get more of us on the start line give us a better experience when we raced and truly value the female competition and everything from kind of pregnancy deferrals and period products at the port-a-loos actually having port-a-loos otherwise you've got to run around with tampons or you know you might run out and i did i did during a race that was supposed to have them and you were just bleeding through your shorts until you can get somewhere or they give you a big pad I'm like I can't run with that but the events that don't give the women's race the same coverage on social media or less prize money or they say the winner is and the female winner it's two separate races but getting more women on the start line the imagery like we look at those start lines and they're all kind of white skinny men that look fast and I don't see myself I've thought about signing up to race, go, I don't see myself.

31:13And, you know, I run for Great Britain. I should see myself everywhere. If I don't see myself, what about my friends? What about people just starting out and running who don't typically look like what people think about as a marathon runner? So the imagery is important. The kind of the cutoffs, we get really scared about cutoffs. Women don't believe that they're as amazing as we actually are. And you see a five hour cutoff for a marathon, even if a woman's running a 4.15 that fight and that's the average women's marathon time this five like we have to make sure women are kind of welcome so she races started as me going to events going small costless changes and we've proved in working with threshold sports and this commercial analysis that races make more money from being inclusive and they're all businesses so now we're global we're in kind of India Uzbekistan Turkey Oman races all over the world are taking these simple guidelines.

32:10We're turning into a charity so we can help the fundraising. And it's kind of a passion project that expanded, that blew up. And I think the big thing is we know that this is not about sport, but sport's such a powerful lens, as we were saying, kind of for men to understand. In sport, they understand we're different. They understand that our bodies are different. They understand that we see things differently. and that can go into the rest of society and that can go into the workplace they see we're different in sport they run past a box that says period products on it in their race they may understand that they should be providing them the workplace and that maybe they should be considering how we interact differently and we think differently and maybe if we can design sport through a default male and female lens more people can think about designing the wild through a default male and female lens.

33:04Yeah, it's so true. When you look at, I know you also have an incredible kind of corporate organizational background. When you look at some of those things that you did in SheRaces, how do you think that lens could translate into the corporate world? What are some things that you see that you're like, why are we still doing that? Oh, I think when we look at kind of how we treat motherhood and how women come back to the workforce and flexible working for men as well as women you know my kids need they need their two parents and you know we saw it that as soon as I had I had my first and I was CEO of a tech club I was running my own kind of schedule that was fine I could run my own schedule when you're not you know the default parent becomes the woman and the school always come calls the the mum first and it's down to you and we realized that his work wasn't going to to allow that same kind of flexibility so I've had to change you know what I do and I'm in the you know I listen to so many people in your podcast that like they're all sorted and they've got this all planned out and I'm in the middle of planning what my career looks like and I've had the corporate experience kind of but I've got this this book this charity that kind of I'm trying to make sure I can raise resource for to to separate from and and kind of my from my corporate speaking and for workshops and how I how I can create this new life that allows me to be the mother I want to to my kids to be an elite athlete um and also to to keep that career so I've got that that other string to my and I talk about in the book about we can't have one string holding us up and I think when I lost my job in finance I lost my identity because that was who I saw myself as and actually I've got so many different things in my life now and I want to keep all those pots because that gives me that resilience to if one goes wrong I've got everything else kind of still there for me it's so true how how do you think about boundaries and trade-offs because she runs this a little bit like mother kind and that it was born out of passion I never thought it would explode in the way that it has it is I am obsessed with it and growing it and but that can come with I want to work on it all the time do you have that and how do you put in those boundaries so that you can do your training you can explode she runs in the way that I'm sure you're going to and still be present with your three kids that's really hard I think because the boundaries I have what I'm being asked to do is so emotional sometimes.

35:44I think, you know, the messages I have from new mothers that have seen the photo or read the book, especially now that are coming in, are phenomenal. And the requests I have from women to support them to get a deferral on a race or something's not working and they know I can fix it because it's one thing someone writing an email that a race doesn't recognize. It's very different when Sophie Power writes an email and says hey guys this is not right can we can we work on this the training boundaries are very fixed um and that's having my coach and that is that quite helpful that they're so fixed yes they have to be if they're not fixed and you know i failed in this yesterday because i thought right i took a call and i knew i booked it in and i got my first part of my training done and i didn't get my second part so i'll do this call instead and then i know what the bike shifts to late in the evening yeah and I've got to do mobility after that and that didn't happen because the world shifted so the boundaries it's first I was on the treadmill at 6am this morning because I knew that that was the only slot in my day that it would definitely work and having my coach is so important I think people are using these apps now they might be great for men that can manage their diaries or can women that don't have children yet my diary is not the same so I need my coach which is accountability, when she puts something in, I am gonna do that session because I know that she's got the plan and she'll put me, like I race for England next weekend.

37:14I know that she has got that plan to get me in the right place. She knows my bounds. She knows how little time I have and she's optimizing. And so having that there is so important. But the boundaries I think in life have, they've blurred and I've got it wrong. I think I've got it wrong for the last few years. and it's only now where you know she races is exploding the book has been this other new kind of world and and I wrote half of it like after that photo and I sat on it until I knew what the next chapter was and then I knew I know what the chapter is now and I wanted to write I mean they asked me to write a book about running and I wrote a book about motherhood and I love the fact that some mothers have got it because their husband's an ultra runner and he's bought it to read about you know how do you run for 24 hours without sleep and he's bought this and handed it over he goes actually you know you can read about prolapse and you can worry about how she's juggling and all of these things and these boundaries are difficult and I'm learning to say no and I think this year you know my new year's resolution I mean I've broken all my new resolution so far like every year because it's always been about like giving up chocolate and I love chocolate so it's not about giving up chocolate or less wine I really like wine as well um it's been about asking for help and that has been my my resolution this year is asking for help on volunteering on on she races and we're launching this event you know the trail series and you know it's a women's only trail event and you know 10k 25k 50k it's on the 5th of july i want to do it i'll do the 10k absolutely come it's in it's in demi's vineyard in surrey so it's beautiful and it's really there's no cut-offs so hikers can come runners can come it's just about women coming together on this beautiful day that you can walk an ultra and come back into the office and all these men that got their half marathon medals go i did an ultra the weekend we had women last year that did a couch to 5k in march and they were 60 years old and they walked the ultra in August and just that feeling but it's such a big deal to to operate this race and I've had to get volunteers and you know kind of one of our trustees is is project managing it and she's like do you want to be on this call do you want to have a decision on this like no keep me out of it and I've had to like in startup terms like let go of my Legos and go she races can't be about me and it has been I've been so protective of it and actually it's about all women and so we've got a lady launching it in the US the Indian chapter completely separate they're phenomenal in Chennai had 300 women running this this stage marathon through the night to celebrate it and I've got to let it go and that's what's happened to free my time to do the really important things the really important conversations and to work out how I can take my she races learnings and try to move beyond that into the world of health into advocating for women yes into the world of business how can i take this through the kind of talking to corporates doing these workshops to with my background in corporates to say this is how we can redesign world so everyone does better it's phenomenal it is phenomenal i want to ask you just some quick fire questions that aren't actually that quick fire um before we close the first one is motherhood is teaching me dot dot dot patience i think that you can't have it all yeah because i think i thought i could have it all before and you can have it all but not all at once it's true it's true what's something that you used to value before motherhood that you no longer value status i think or redefine status I think I used to value what people thought and I used to believe in in the world of finance having these bosses that you know craved you know getting the best restaurant booking or kind of having the most money and that's what they saw as a success and you know what other people thought of them was success and you're on that comparison ladder you're never gonna be the top there's always someone richer than you there's always someone that's got something that you want and motherhood helped me throw all of that aside it's almost like you just climb down from the ladder don't you just kick it to one side I just said it's going in the wrong direction I'm gonna I'm not gonna climb a ladder you know I'm gonna go on the trails and choose my own path and it leads in different directions and that ladder was not leading me towards a life that I would have turned around you know in 30 years time and been happy and I've seen you know I've seen my old bosses and I look at them and they're not happy but they're still on that ladder and I'm so grateful that you know they took it out from under me and and I got to do something different sometimes the universe does us a favor doesn't it what's something that you didn't value before motherhood but that you do now my health my body my strength my base my body's a tool and I see myself as you know our bodies fundamentally change like how unbelievable incredible that is that I gave birth to three children and I nurtured them beside me and I breastfed them and I am their mother and I was looking at my body for what it looked like and now I value it so strongly and I know like I see my mom who's frail she's had breast cancer many years and really strong drugs um drugs made her bones weak and I want to be running ultras at 70 and I know that I have to look after my body and I'm going to do that strength training and I'm going to stay healthy because the most important thing I think for my kids is that when they have kids I'm that grandma that can do all of that free labor that they won't be able to afford um because gonna you know the world's changed so if I could think what my kids really want it's not mum being there and making them three course and dinners with organic ingredients it's a healthy mum that's going to be there for them for as long as possible with so much energy to give them.

43:33Amen. Amen. If you were talking to your first time pregnant self right now, she was sat here, a 26 year old Sophie, what would you say to her? I'd tell her what a pelvic floor was. Yes. I think I would definitely tell her what a pelvic floor was. I would tell her to have a plan for you as well as a plan for the baby. because we're taught like this is where the baby the milestones the baby and your whole world goes for how i'm gonna mother and i've got all this preparation in place you need preparation in place for you so you need that support network around you you need someone with the frozen meals you need that mummy mot yeah to check you i always say like kind of guys go what should i buy my wife when she's had a baby don't get her flowers get her pelvic floor checked and get her physio and this is far more important it would definitely be a plan for my physical health a plan for my mental health um a plan for us as a family but really putting as much effort into looking after me as like choosing the colors of the nursery so true it's wild how long i did it too and they didn't go in it for the first year so and also how many people do a renovation because of like we need more space babies don't need more space what's the one gift this is the last question what's the one gift you'd give to all mothers in the world and why i would give all mothers the same strength to advocate for ourselves and advocate for other mothers that we have to advocate for our own children

45:17that is beautiful and i've asked that question about 600 times and no one has said that and it's beautiful so thank you we are we we we we are so strong advocating for our children we are so we do everything for our children we look at our children and we have these so these dreams for them and these beliefs of them and we want and we fight so hard for them and if we could only fight as hard for ourselves you know think how hard we could then fight for our kids as well it's so true it is so true thank you I've absolutely loved this conversation I feel so inspired and moved there are tears in my eyes tell us where people can find out more about She Runs more about the race in Surrey and the book so the book is called The Power Within um and it's out now which is on great title by the way they they had to use the surname yes they had to use the surname um i'm on instagram ultra sophie um and she dot races and the trail series is um sunday 5th of july uh demi's vineyard it'll be an amazing event it's completely a fundraiser for for she races as well we've got this beautiful impact program as well we're giving the more entries we get the more free places we're giving to women who really need to be on that start line um fully funded with all their travels so it's gonna be a beautiful mix of women just a gorgeous stay out with with our girlfriends and um there's a whole guide to where the dads can take the kids while they've dropped you off there's loads of things there there's all the playgrounds there's just train around the vineyard um we thought of that too because we know that you know there are some mums that think what are my kids going to do that day and it's on a sunday which is also a lot easier sometimes for women that when you have all the sporting fixtures on a saturday so oh my gosh imagine if everything was created with as much thoughtfulness as that and that's what we want to show yeah we want to show what an event designed for women truly looks like and that actually we want to sometimes come together and discuss pelvic floors and pregnancy and have that environment where we can just drop our guard and have a beautiful day and it's stunning it's my home taff so it's um i've designed the route there's nine proper there's nine public toilets on the route of the 50k um there's hand washing i mean there's a lot of toilets because I'm always going to put an extra Waterloo in I will be there thank you so much thank you