Why so many mothers feel overwhelmed and disconnected right now - and what to do next

0:00Intuition is not a gift. It is an ability to tune into frequency. Do you have a challenge in your life that gets you spinning in your head? I'm afraid of. Answer out loud. Hmm. Hand on heart. And my spirit says. Oh, that gave me goosebumps. Sonia Choquette is a world-renowned spiritual teacher and intuitive guide. You're going to feel more grounded, more confident, and connected back to your intuition. I taught my kids this interconnection. We need breath. We need space. So we call it energy timeout. But you empower your children to trust themselves. And the other important thing to do with your kids is we all inherently are hardwired to do that.

0:40We've been conditioned out. You've also been through so much. I lost brother, father, husband in about six weeks. I was grieving an identity, but I wasn't missing it. Life happens. So here's a good tool. Well, Sonia, I'm so, I've been looking forward to this chat for such a long time. Thank you so much. I'm very excited to be here. I was saying it must be strange for you because you must meet so many people for whom you've been in their lives for a long time. And yet the same with me. You've been in my life for a long time. I'm so glad. But I feel at home. I feel completely comfortable and happy to be here because it's all a matter of vibration and frequency.

1:19So if the connection is there, it's like plugging a light in. It's instantly connected. So many people right now that I speak to in my community, you know, they're moms, they've got young kids. And it's so easy to get on that treadmill, right, of just doing. And a lot of people say to me, I feel disconnected. And if I'm honest, I feel a bit like that at the moment. Well, you have to set your life up in a way that keeps you connected. And the way to do it is to know what keeps you connected. because if you're connected, your kids are connected. And it's a little bit of space, just a little bit of mental space.

2:04We need breath. We need space. We need no input. You have to put your phone away, your technology down. You get back in your body, and you breathe, and you begin to listen to your inner energy, your inner senses. and it's so natural. The easiest way to get reconnected, I actually have a tool that is so easy. You look up and look out. Notice something, eyes open right in front of you. What that does is it brings you back to your body, back to the moment. So once you inhale, I want you to pause. Don't contract, just pause. And then with your belly, you breathe your belly to your spine. You pull your belly to your spine.

2:51You exhale with a whoosh, but you have in mind letting go of everything. Do it again. Breathe in slowly and pause. Look at something else. Stay present. Again, belly to spine and let everything in your mind go, just for now, with a whoosh. Then the third breath, imagine you're breathing from your feet up into your heart space. Pause. Take a second breath up to your crown. Now open your jaw until you feel a click in your ear. Do you feel it? And then slide with a sigh into your heart. Ah. So nice. And then smile. Just smile. And let the light of your spirit fill you up. And notice what's going on in your head?

3:40It's kind of nothing. Right. That's weird. It's quiet. Yeah. You're reconnected. You're reconnected. So I call it two breaths and a slide. You can do it at any time. I love that because you can do it when the kids are going nuts. And you know what? You can teach them to do it. Yes. We do it together. I taught my daughters to do this when they were young. And it's just a way we call it energy timeout. Rather than having to withdraw, which what we do when we get overwhelmed generally is we'll either withdraw or cause drama, which then makes us withdraw because everybody wants you in timeout. And this is a way to be in a disconnect without causing drama.

4:22Just come back to the moment. Ah. Ah opens the heart. That sound and the smile pulls the curtains of your heart open, re-energizes you and gets you out of your head. And that's what a reconnection is. So good. Did you did you raise your children this way from the beginning? I was raised this way. How were you raised this way? Because that must have been unusual. Way unusual. Yeah, we were the weirdo family. I'm one of seven. My mom was an incredible unicorn of it, of an intuitive people came to her for guidance. She was magical. She It was artistic. But the thing my mom did, there were two things she did that to this day have set the course of my life.

5:07The first is when we were little, and there were a lot of us, and we would go ask for permission or for this or that, clear into when I was a teenager. She would say, before I answer, take a breath and ask your spirit if it's right for you. What's right for you? I remember doing this when I was four, five, six, seven. So rather than look outward, the first thing was to come back to self. And then she'd say, does that feel right for you? Is that your spirit talking to you? Then we'll do that. And that was how I was raised, to connect to my spirit as my guide. Could you do that instantly? Because I imagine if I asked my little girl now, because she's not been trained in that, She would say, yes, my spirit wants me to have the chocolate.

5:56Thank you very much. And you would say, is that really true? Yeah. And then let her have it in the moment. Because eventually what you want to do first is talk about what a beautiful spirit she is. Not that she has, that she is. And this beautiful spirit will always take care of her, always know what's right for her, always is with her and protects her. And that way she starts to recognize herself correctly. Exactly. She starts to recognize that I am a spirit that has power, that is creative, that can influence my life, that I don't have to be afraid. And then she might say, I have a five-year-old granddaughter who loves a chocolate.

6:39And she'll say, Nana, my spirit says I can have a chocolate. And I'll say, is that right? Is that what your spirit says? And she'll pause and she'll say, well, I have my protein first. And I'll say, okay, then you know what's good for you. And she'll pace herself. Now, this was just a recent conversation because it was Easter eggs. Yes. It was chocolates everywhere. But you empower your children to trust themselves, to check in instead of give their power away. And believe me, by the time they become teenagers, you'll want that. because that's when they start getting pulled off and into the vibrations and the agendas of others and get bullied.

7:24And you have this inner connection. I taught my kids this inner connection. And the other important thing to do with your kids is we've been trained, and this is changing, thank goodness, that unless our logic can justify something, It's not real. Now, that is changing. But still to this day, I have clients who say, I don't know why, but I feel. And I say, you do know why. It is your intuition. That is why. We don't need a logical reason. So with my kids, what I did with them, same was what my mom raised me, is if they ever had what I called an uncomfortable vibe, a bad vibe, they didn't feel good, they did not have to explain it.

8:14All they had to do was come squeeze my hand. Two squeezes, we're out. Two squeezes. They do it to this day. And that says, I will validate your experience. Because intuition is not a gift. It is an ability to tune into frequency. And we all have that. And children have it naturally. They are conditioned out of it. When do they get conditioned out of it? When they start school, well, first it depends. The first conditioning will be you, the mother. If you're tuning out, they're going to trust you because they're inherently connected to you. So if you're not listening to the frequency, they'll feel the frequency, but they'll check with you.

8:59So the first thing to do is you start paying attention to frequency and give yourself permission to say, don't need a reason. if I'm feeling something it's something how does someone who wants that so much that ability I mean it's just the best superpower in the world right of when you can be like I need to explain it but that's not right for me but if I think about me it's like I used to have that very strongly I did lots of kundalini yoga and right over 10 years that I've been raising the girls I sort of lost that a little bit and I and I'm and I find myself going is it isn't it how do I read because you're looking up here okay so you do that I need to stop thinking do the two slides in a box and two breaths in a slide ah then you put your hand literally on one hand on belly one hand on chest and you say my spirit says so let's try that right now yeah do you have a challenge in your life that gets you spinning in your head a legitimate challenge yeah it doesn't have to even be a big deal.

10:04Yeah. Work stuff. Okay. Yeah. So it's another tool I want to share with you, and it's a really good one. What scrambles our eggs as far as getting our intuition clear is fear. So here's a good tool. You don't have to get over fear. You just have to acknowledge it because it's hiding fear that disconnects you. So here's the tool. I have work stuff. Anything specific you wanted to narrow into just for the sake of this tool? Yeah, a decision about whether to launch a certain product or not. Okay, very good. Okay. So just follow along with me, but you can do this on your own. I'm afraid of, answer out loud.

10:49Failing. And I'm afraid of? Getting it wrong. And I'm afraid of? Looking stupid. Take a breath. What are you looking at? Look at something right in front of you and name it. I'm looking at the camera okay smile i'm afraid of huh and my spirit says hand on heart and my spirit says go for it yeah that feel true yeah it does actually your face changed your whole face lit up that's how you know intuition is speaking because it's an energy burst you feel it yeah your body feel it That was like three seconds. That's what I teach because it's natural. I'm just reconnecting you to an inner capacity to tune into frequency that informs you accurately.

11:40Go for it. Phenomenal. Go for it. And, you know, if it's really intuition, your body lights up. Yeah. You can see that in friends. I say that to friends. Yeah. You just change. And the change is this. your heart opened, the energy floods, there's light in your face, in your smile, and your aura. You literally light up, and it's visible. Again, I want to say intuition is not a gift for certain people. It is the ability, the natural ability, to tune into frequency, which informs you. We all inherently are hardwired to do that. We've been conditioned out, But the world now is insisting we do this, we tune these back in.

12:30It must be so validating for you. Do you feel that way? I feel like I've been patient and so excited. You've waited. I've been three decades. But I am excited because, well, one of the obvious things is AI. Okay, AI is replacing a lot of things. But this intuition is the one thing it cannot replace because it cannot sense energy. And it is the most empowering skill for humans to develop right now because it picks up energy in present time in motion now. The energy is creating going forward. Any data or any AI is a mirror of what was behind us. Yes. So that's where it drops the ball. So it can inform us and organize us, but it cannot tune in and direct us in a creative, energetic way going forward.

13:24What a fascinating time we're in. I love it. I've been waiting for this because where I used to be dismissed as woo-woo is now, wait a minute. Those chief execs are going to be calling you. They do. They do. I am now teaching. In fact, one of the biggest chief execs is the man who's in charge of NVIDIA. He just said, when he was asked, what's the most important? Who's the smartest person in the room? That was the question. I saw this on Instagram. Yes, he said. It's not data. It's the person who can read the energy and see around the corners. That's our intuition. And we all have it. It's been my mission to teach this.

14:06But for children especially, they have it naturally. We need to preserve it primarily by our own modeling. One thing that I have done is I've always validated how they felt. So if my little girls come to me and said, this hasn't felt right. I've never been that parent that's gone. Don't be silly. You've just given her the power of trusting herself for life. Oh, I hope so. The best thing you can do as a parent is to give them the superpower of following, first validating, and then listening to that inner compass. Because it is picking up on something real. It's just not third dimension. Good job.

14:49That's hope. No, no hope. She's already there. Just watch her. You can tell kids are trusting their vibes if they're spontaneous. if they express themselves without shutting down and they're spontaneous and they're aligned they're in their flow they feel at ease and they feel supported and if something starts to shut down notice this as a parent if something is not right don't confront them because they might be a little um unclear about what's not right they may not have the language for example But you just kind of have story time and unwind time and ask them how things are and invite them at the end of the day to share their inner world.

15:35And they will. They will. And they'll share with you if they feel safe and unjudged and don't jump on it to fix it. But to say, one of the things I've taught my daughters and now my granddaughters is there's always a solution. And it's our creative game to find one. and so it keeps them in creative mind instead of all or nothing right or wrong black or white and and invites invites them to be experimental you know it's always a solution you guys got to try it on like your shoes do they fit does that fit they get it i want to ask you about fear because that what you just did on me was so powerful because what you did is you moved it aside yes but so many people right now feel you know you mentioned ai i'm seeing every day these headlines which are honestly really scaring me they're they're intended 70 000 jobs let go i'm like oh i feel so worried for not for me but for you know for others how do we if people are feeling that fear for themselves for their kids right because we're in this world of i don't know is I don't know.

16:49How are you navigating this? The way I navigate it is that human beings cannot be replaced because we are spiritual beings. We can be programmed and operate and function at a lower level if we allow it. But the spirit in all humans makes itself felt eventually in all humans. and if we continue to be creative we will adapt to find new talents new skills new ways to connect new things to contribute but we are not stuck in what was yesterday in many ways just as we always have right we've gone through these huge honestly they said the same thing when the when when computers came online because i remember to remember i remember the so i was 17 at the turn of the millennium and there was this big thing the millennium bug y2k my sister was all hunkered down with that and we are going down and i said you know okay trust the universe don't tempt it but on the other hand we are that is not our soul destiny to annihilate ourselves by our own creations it just isn't i don't care what anybody says the human spirit loves life as a medium i know you can tune into energies and you can pick up on individual energy can you do that on a collective scale as well absolutely and what what are you picking up at the moment well it's an interesting question because we are at a pivotal moment in time we are all the planets are lined up we're entering this new era it's sort of like when we went from the dark ages to the renaissance so there is a bit of a doom and gloom conversation dominating the airwaves that I don't think anybody should give a lot of importance to.

18:42But instead, ask yourself, what in me have I been denying or ignoring? And why? And what would happen? I wonder if I stopped and let that urge, that impulse to write or create or start something new, create a new project. I wonder how that would positively affect not just my life but others. And I wonder if I would let that take over, that I would actually change the equation for everyone. And that's how I feel we should be asking ourselves right now. You have, I think what we're in is a lot of people have unlived, unleashed, unlived lives and unleashed gifts that are being forced to be released.

19:34And that's just how humans do things. You know, when necessity is the mother of invention, isn't it? So because it's going to be necessary to assure our continuity and our well-being, we're going to come up with all kinds of new inventions. I believe in the human spirit, and I am, for one, the meltdown is hard to watch. But I don't know that we'll miss it. The things that are collapsing haven't really been for the greater collective good. And the ones that are will prevail. So instead of watching the world or the news, grow a garden, write a book, play with your kids, because that's what will keep that's what will continue on and will continue to keep humanity going strong.

20:25I believe that so wholeheartedly. We're not powerless. and what you do every day sends a vibration into the collective. My teacher taught me this very early in life. He said, if you ever want to help the miserable of the world, don't be one of them. And you know what? I took that to heart and it has been good advice. But you've also been through so much. I have. It's not been easy. So I'm not a Pollyanna by any means. I'm more resilient and creative. How? Tell me, because there was a time in your life when you had huge grief. Tremendous loss. Huge loss. It was actually 12 years ago, just about now.

21:11First, I'm one of seven, as I mentioned. My one-year-older brother suddenly died in his sleep. The grief or the shock of it, my dad died six weeks later. And I was in a marriage where my husband wasn't really that secure. And so me needing him in a way he had never experienced because I was kind of the confident one, he left. So I lost brother, father, husband in about six weeks. And it was like a bowling ball down the aisle and all the pins went. And on a soul level, I knew that I had a different destiny than the one I was on. But on a human level. I was going to say, how long did it take you?

21:56It took me a long time. My first effort was I got guidance to walk the Camino de Santiago. And I don't even hike to the store three blocks away. So I loved that book. Okay, I'll go for it. And it healed a lot and showed me as I walked over 30 days how I had been having these micro self-betrayals that accumulated. And that if I was really going to live my destiny as a transformational teacher, I had to plug the holes. Oh, that gave me goosebumps. I think so many women experience that. It's not that we suddenly, we arrive in these lives that don't feel like us through death by a thousand cuts. Exactly.

22:38These micro betrayals for peace. So I realized that that was why this happened and that they were patriarchal inputs. I thought that's interesting. Father, brother, husband. This was patriarchal shaping of who I was to be as a woman. And I was sort of over that. They self-selected out. So, okay, I'll go with it. Then my daughter had the brilliant idea to move to Paris. She said, you could either have a nervous breakdown or we could move to Paris and start over. And we moved. Like in 60 days, we just packed up and moved and started over. The grief and the identity I had, I was grieving an identity.

23:22But I wasn't missing it. And it's a paradox. Where's my neighborhood? Where's my home? Where's my husband? But I wasn't missing it. It was just who I was. So it took a couple of years to really sort that out. I wrote Waking Up in Paris after my book, The Communal Book, because I was trying to sort out, okay, well, who am I going to be now? And I do want to say one thing I discovered about that. The world has no patience for grief. And I think that's a shame because it is how we heal more than superficial or surface loss. It's how we find a strength of spirit. There was a lot of impatience around me as a spiritual teacher to be in grief, but it was like it's just what it is.

24:09I'm not stunned. I'm not paralyzed. But I am sad. And I am finding my way through this rubble. It's so interesting that you say that because I talk and teach a lot about my trussence which is this place and it's like that's a grief that's a huge and yet there's this bounce back quick back who are you now quick change get back to you where it's like it's impossible to get back it's messy feelings are messy but that's what's emerging now how do we give ourselves the patience to find deep appreciation and compassion for your spirit instead of look to others to find it for you. And that's a real game changer because our value system says we have to get everything we need from others.

24:55And if we don't, we don't deserve it. Well, and I do believe you should fake it till you make it. Yeah. Like, is it really nice for me to beat myself up right now? Or could I just not? Maybe I don't go into a nice self-talk, but here is a tool that does work. when you need that compassion talk out loud in third person yes like sonia it's okay that you relax everything's gonna be okay just take a breath you're okay but use your own voice hand on the heart and say your name that works that breaks up the old pattern yeah i i talk to myself constantly with like kind words and it makes just the doesn't it oh you know what else works, humor.

25:44Yes. I would say make yourself laugh every day. Because you can't really be laughing and afraid and anxious at the same time. I was telling, my daughter was telling me, she has a 14-month-old baby. She was sleeping in her bed last night, fell out of the bed, head between the bed and the nightstand, feet up in the head. It was awful. And then we both burst out laughing. I mean, she wasn't hurt. And that was that. And we got to get her back in. And It was just a moment, but it was funny and it took away the horror of that experience. And it was like, life happens. Trust yourself. Three things to take away.

26:21Trust your spirit. Trust the spirit and speak to the spirit in others. Don't speak to the story. Don't speak to the performance. Speak to the spirit and trust the spirit of the universe because it's love. And that will take care of us. Oh, it's so beautiful. Let me ask you some questions to wrap up. The first one is, what is motherhood and has motherhood taught you? It's a gift. It taught me that life continues and my soul friends came back. And that is an honor to be their caretakers and to liberate them to live their own spirited lives. It's taught me spontaneity, presence, patience, and generosity.

27:12Way beyond what I, and I'm naturally generous, but I realize this is what unconditional love is. So that's what motherhood has taught me. Don't fight it. Don't sacrifice. Don't overgive. But know that this kind of giving and love is a strength that will get you through anything. And I've lived long enough to know that it will. If you were talking to your first-time mother self, like imagine she's sat here with your little daughter, maybe a couple of months old, what would you say to her? I would say, don't worry about so much other stuff. All the other stuff you're constantly worrying about to keep her safe takes you away from her.

27:59Just be with her. It'll work out. I wish someone had told me that. When I had my first daughter, we were renovating a house. Why does everyone do that? We did the same. I don't know why. It makes no sense. It was just nesting gone wrong, really wrong. But I wish in trying to make it all nice for her, I would have just been quietly more with her. I do. I do. Sometimes I tell her today, I wish I had spent more time with you. when you were just so sweet and little and made me laugh. I would say that to any mother, whatever in the physical world isn't grounded, it'll work out. It's so hard, isn't it?

28:42Because it feels like the other stuff is so important. Well, it disturbs your spirit. So at least clear one corner and make that corner nice and clear and grounded and call, you know, this is, nobody can come in here. Yes. Just find one space that's peaceful. Because if the house isn't all up in order, you can't relax because the energy is so ungrounded. Create your space and take your space. What's one gift that you would want to give to all the mothers in the world and why? Give them a big hug and say, don't ever underestimate the power and the importance of what you're doing, even on the worst day.

29:30because you are keeping humanity going, and you are sharing what is so important about humans, that we need each other, we love each other, and every soul matters. And your mothering, your little ones, is you're part of that equation. You're part of that participation. You got this. I would say, take it easy. You're doing okay. And if you're not doing okay, change whatever is not allowing you to do okay. Because it's in your heart to want to. That's beautiful. Thank you. Yes. I should think lots of people are going to want to get more Sonia in their ears. Oh, I would love. I love. Your YouTube's amazing, by the way.

30:20I love. Oh, thank you. I love that. That is my way of contributing weekly. I love it. For mothers, I wrote a book called The Intuitive Spark that was how I was raised. So if you want to find fun ways to do that, that's a way to do it. It's not big deals. It's little deals that make a big difference. You're doing it. Every time your little ones come and say, first that they even talk to you is an affirmation. encourage them to talk to you and listen don't interrupt don't solve invite them to solve I'll leave you with one more game it's my favorite game it's called there are 19 solutions so when someone comes with a problem you can go to your kids and say guys I have a problem I need your help so you're on the same playing field say here's my problem I need to come up with a solution So let's come up with 19 crazy solutions.

31:22And in that 19, the best one will come out. It always does. And come up with the craziest solutions, but let everybody participate. It's so empowering. It creates creativity. It involves your intuition. And that solution will show up. It's a great family game. I think we should do that work as well. I do it everywhere. That sounds brilliant. This keeps your brain brainstorming and open so it's not going through the ledgers of the past. Yeah. You start opening up to something you never thought before. It's really fun. And it works. I've loved this so much. I feel like you've just plugged us all back in.

32:06I'm so glad. That's my purpose. And if you're plugged in, it radiates in others and train to that frequency automatically. Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much for inviting me. No, what a joy. I've loved it. Thank you. I've loved it. Thank you.