You're not behind, you're right on time

0:01Welcome to Motherkind, it's me Zoe and we are sponsored by World Nutrition's Women's Supplements. I am so happy that you are here. You are not behind. Your thoughts might tell you that you are, but thoughts are not facts and I believe that you are right on time. The other day my 10 year old was getting upset about something that all her friends can do and she can't and my instant response was you are right on time for you and as I was saying that to her I realized so many of us need to hear that feeling behind it's just that it's a feeling and as I talk a lot about in mother kind in my book feelings are not facts so where does this feeling of being behind come from it comes from comparison right whether that's from yourself internal comparison I thought I'd be further along by now I thought I've hit that milestone why am I not here or external comparison right so maybe you're comparing yourself to friends or people you see on social media or maybe even kind of well-known people that are the same age as you I know I can do that because I am the same age as Emma Greed and Beyonce so there you go but I really want you to hear is there actually is no timeline of what you should have done or achieved by a certain point.

1:22It's a kind of made up construct in our heads. And I'll bet if you look back on your life now, some of the things that you were putting yourself under so much pressure about in your twenties or even thirties, you can probably see now that those timelines and deadlines, they were just a story that you were telling yourself. And I bet you can see that now it all makes sense and that it happened right on time. for you. And whenever I feel behind, I think about people who have succeeded on their own timelines. So my podcast guest, and I guess friend, Mel Robbins, at 42, she was£800 ,000 in debt. She had no idea what she was going to do with her life.

2:06And now at 57, she's one of the biggest podcasters on the planet. Rich Roll, an incredible guy who also has a podcast. He got sober at 40. he wrote his first book at 45 can you tell where my frame of references are coming from they're all podcasters but there are so many examples of just incredible people achieving incredible things late into life 50s 60s 70s even in fact there's a new piece of research out that shows that most businesses started by women are started in their 50s doesn't that make sense why huh because our children have probably left home we've got the time to do it and actually those businesses are twice as successful as the average business so I think that is really exciting I want you to think about this sort of I'm behind idea just trust that wherever you are right now is where you are meant to be I really believe I choose to believe that my best days are ahead of me and that you know some of the people that I'm going to love deeply in this life some of the impact that I'm going to have, some of the work that I'm going to do.

3:15I have no idea about that yet. I know so many people that have started incredible careers at 60, met the love of their life at 50, met their best friend at 70, right? There really isn't these kind of deadlines and timelines that we have to put on things. And you know, I talk about this a lot because it's so important as mothers that we think about our lives in kind of seasons and chapters and knowing what season of your life or your career you're in is so powerful because maybe you're in a season where you're prioritizing family maybe you're in a season of making big changes and you're kind of shedding anything that doesn't fit you anymore maybe you're in a career season and you're trying to build something but whatever season you're in be all there don't be thinking i'm in this season but i want to be in that season.

4:08That is how you create stress. All stress is sort of created by wanting to be somewhere other than where you are. It is such a relief. I cannot tell you the relief that I experienced when you just settle into the season that you are in. And I promise whatever season you're in right now, you are learning lessons, skills, insights that are going to help you on your next chapter. So I just want you to remember because I need to remember this. So I'm talking to myself as much as I am to you. Your best days are ahead of you. There are experiences that are going to change your life that you cannot even imagine yet.

4:54Like I really believe that the best is yet to come so trust wherever you are trust the season that you are in trust your own timelines and I think that is so empowering and hopefully it's going to help you feel so much more at ease I will see you next time thanks for being here

5:25We'll be right back.