A Couple’s Financial Manifesto, Revisited

0:04A couple's financial manifesto revisited and the Dowdy Dow has its day. You're listening to the Saturday, Valentine's Day, personal finance edition of Botley Fool Money.

0:21I'm Robert Brokamp, and this episode, I'm going to do something I've never done over my 14 years of podcasting. I'm going to have my wife on as a guest as we look back on a plan for how we'd manage our finances that we wrote together 26 years ago. But first, let's discuss some items from recent headlines. On February 6th, the Dow Jones Industrial Average crossed 50 ,000 for the first time after crossing 40 ,000 less than two years ago. Plus, as pointed out in a recent Wall Street Journal article, it has been the index to beat over the past few months. Since Halloween, the Dow has returned 5.9%, compared to 1.8 % for the S &P 500, and a loss of 2.6 % for the NASDAQ.

0:59The Dow, which was called the Old Man Index by a 30-year-old investor quoted in the Journal article, has benefited from a lower allocation to the recently lagging tech sector and higher allocations to surging sectors like industrials, materials, and energy. It is admittedly a quirky index, weighting its 30 holdings according to each company's stock price instead of their market capitalizations. Currently, the top holdings are Goldman Sachs at 12%, Caterpillar at 9%, percent. And then Microsoft, Home Depot, Amgen, Sherwin-Williams, and American Express each come in at around five percent. That makes for a diversified mix of holdings that, at least currently, is working out pretty well.

1:37Next up, mixed signals from the job market. Let's start with the good news. On February 11th, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics announced that non-farm payrolls increased by 130 ,000 for January, more than twice the number economists were expecting, and the unemployment rate dropped to 4.3%. Also, discouraged workers and those holding part-time positions for economic reasons declined to 8%. That said, most of the new jobs came from health care and social assistance. In fact, without health care, the economy would have lost jobs over the past year, according to Moody's chief economist, Mark Zandy.

2:10Last week, the Bureau of Labor Statistics announced that job openings in December were at the lowest level since 2020. And Schwab's Lizanne Saunders posted on social media a chart from Arbor Data Science which shows that the 12-week moving averages for Google searches on the terms unemployment insurance, filing for unemployment, and job boards have reached levels not seen since 2021. And now the number of the week, which is$5.8 trillion. That's how much more the U.S. government will spend this year than it takes in as revenue from taxes and tariffs. According to a report published this past week by the Congressional Budget Office, that amount of annual overspending is projected to grow to$6.0 trillion by 2036.

2:52Of course, this just means Uncle Sam will just have to keep on borrowing money. According to the CBO, federal debt will increase from 101 % of GDP this year to 120 % in 2036, surpassing its previous high of 106 % of GDP in 1946, right after World War II. How a Couple of Young, Newly Married Fools Agreed to Manage Their Finances When Motley Fool Money Continues In January of 1915, Ernest Shackleton's ship, Endurance, became encased in the ice in the Weddell Sea. Through determination, grit, and savvy, Shackleton would lead his men through a brutal winter, then over hundreds of miles of Antarctic ice, followed by 800 miles across some of the roughest waters in the world.

3:34It is one of the most extraordinary and inspirational journeys in the history of exploration. Find this story and many others at The Explorers Podcast, available wherever you get your podcasts or at explorerspodcast.com. It's Valentine's Day and there's nothing more romantic than talking about money with your significant other. Well, maybe not, but it is important because the evidence is clear that financial acrimony can lead to marital disharmony. For example, a study entitled Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce found that, quote, quote, financial disagreements are stronger predictors of divorce relative to other common marital disagreements, end of quote.

4:14Soon after my wife and I got married 26 years ago, we decided to make sure we were on the same financial page by writing what we called our financial manifesto, which we then published as an article on full.com. Here to talk about what was in it and how much we actually stuck to it is my wife, Dr. Elizabeth Brokamp, who is a licensed professional counselor, a professor of clinical mental health counseling, and the mother of four wonderful kids. Welcome to Motley Fool Money, Elizabeth. Thank you so much, Robert. It's nice to be here. It's kind of like take your wife to work day. I guess it is. All right, so let's set the stage.

4:48It was the year 2000. We had been married for less than a year at that point, and we both worked at The Motley Fool. We decided to write our manifesto, and then we turned it into an article, even though neither of us were actually official writers for The Motley Fool at the time. What do you remember about how we came up with the idea and how we wrote it? Well, what I remember is that we weren't totally aligned with our financial outlook. That had been less of an issue when we were dating, but it seemed like definitely something we should deal with as a married couple. For example, I was used to really living on the edge in terms of finances.

5:21So I was cool if I had enough money to live off Kraft macaroni and cheese for the rest of my paycheck and you were you. You were, you know, very interested in financial stability and creating a safety net and things like that. Not so interested in living on the edge. So at the time, we were working there at The Motley Fool, which is just a great thriving place of young people who are all interested in and talking about money. And I think, you know, through those conversations, we realized that we really needed to get on the same page. When we were dating, we were poor elementary school teachers.

5:54So money wasn't much of an issue because we frankly just didn't have very much money. that we got married. Eventually we realized that there could be some problem areas, maybe being a little less comfortable with how far a bank account could go before we panicked. So once we combined our finances, we figured it was time to get more aligned and formalize our financial manifesto. I don't remember how we got the fool to publish it, but it did end up taking on somewhat of a life of his own. It ended up being among the most popular articles for the year 2000, which then led to an online webinar and then a book that we contributed to, which I think just goes to show that many couples recognize that some sort of written financial plan is probably a good idea.

6:33All right, so let's move on to the manifesto itself. It had five components, each of which had, I guess you would call it a title and a subtitle. And we'll take turns taking the lead in describing each. The first one being, what's more important, a house or a hamburger, or in other words, prioritize and post. So this one was our way of saying, keep your eyes on the long-term prize. A hamburger today may not be a big deal, but all those small decisions add up over time and could mean that you're delaying something that's arguably much more important to you, like buying a house, for example. I'm going to give us a grade.

7:06I would say on that one, I would give us an A. I also want to acknowledge fortunate timing. So we were able to buy a house in 2000 and we bought a fixture upper that year, right when the housing market was about to boom. But I would say beyond even that lucky purchase, it's become a way of life to keep our goals kind of front and center. So I would say that my biggest suggestion for other people is to make sure that you're checking in periodically and making sure your priorities are still aligned with one another. And then also just for me, I'm a visual person. So making sure that I have a picture somewhere, whether it's my screensaver or having a vision board of something that I'm aiming for is really important for me.

7:48Yeah, nowadays people talk about the latte factor, which is about how foregoing that daily cup of fancy coffee and instead investing it can lead to tens of thousand dollars over the long term. But I guess we were kind of ahead of the curve because we were putting it in context of hamburgers, but that's kind of what we were getting at here. As for the grades, I'd give us a B+. I would say the B +, for me, because I still make a lot of small purchases that I probably shouldn't. but in our manifesto we did list out our goals which were a house starting a family college retirement etc and we're on track to meet those so i think that's good news another part of the manifesto that i think helped is that we said we do an equivalency calculation figuring out how many hours we had to work to make a purchase and i think that helps keep spending in context and then finally i like the visual part a lot we actually had the manifesto posted on the fridge for a while and I had an abridged version in my wallet.

8:42So I had to see it every time that I was inclined to spend some money. All right, let's move on to the second component of our manifesto, which was follow the breadcrumbs. In other words, track inflow and outflow. And this just comes down to having a system for seeing where your money's going. And we've been talking about this on the show with the 2026 Financial Planning Challenge, including last week's episode. So check that out If you haven't, I'd give us a B on this one, but sometimes maybe a C because we've kind of ebbed and flowed with this. We start out with spreadsheets, then went to Quicken, then to Mint, then to Empower, and now we're back to Quicken.

9:17So we're sometimes better at staying on top of this than others, but every time we dig into our spending, I think it's pretty eye-opening. And another component of our manifesto was that we check into this weekly. I personally haven't been able to stick to this of late, so that's room for improvement on my part. And I agree with you between that B and C, maybe a B minus for myself. I did the work to set up the Quicken. I keep up with all our bills, of course, but I really don't do an analysis of what we're spending that often. And then as we've gotten older and more established, we've gotten more things to track.

9:49So it's gotten more complicated. I recently decided to try and track one big financial area a month and do kind of an audit. So last month, for example, I did an evaluation of our credit card benefits and I made these little sleeves that we could put our credit cards in that tell things like, you know, which one is going to save you more on groceries or gas, for example. And then my latest one was tackling new car insurance quotes. So I think that's the way that I'm going to try to improve my B minus to a higher grade. Yeah, and having three young drivers on our auto insurance, my goodness gracious, what a bill that has been.

10:24All right, let's move on to the third component. Don't eat your money. In other words, put cash in context. I think this one's pretty self-explanatory. We were really cognizant that a lot of money can go out the door if we're eating out all the time. I don't even know how to grade myself on this one. I would give us a better grade if either of us love to cook. Luckily, we have pretty simple taste beyond delighting in simple things. We do things like use coupons. We shop at Aldi with a big shout out to the Aldi Isle of Shame community on Facebook, which I love. And buying in bulk at Costco. Those are things that we do as a matter of routine.

10:59So pretty standard stuff. Yeah, dining out has usually been the discretionary category that has sometimes gotten away from us. As I've mentioned in a previous episode, once you've analyzed your spending, you'll find that you just have a few categories that you need to keep a better eye on. And I think we were trying to acknowledge that very early on with this component of our manifesto, that eating out is the thing that we probably have to just stay on top of more. All right, let's move on to component number four of our manifesto, the wacky khaki. In other words, find ways to save money. And this name came from my days as a financial advisor back in the 90s.

11:36And the CEO of a sportswear company came to talk to us, basically to get us to sell his stock to our clients. And he had a pair of khaki pants. He said, we make these pants for around$10. We sell them to Walmart. Walmart sells them for$15. We sell the same pants to JCPenney's. They sell for$25. We make the same pants, sell it to Macy's. They sell for$40. And the point being, there are lots of ways to spend less money that don't necessarily result in much of a drop in quality of the goods or services that you're buying. So the importance of comparison shopping, looking for deals, you can find lots of ways to save money that don't necessarily result in a lower quality product.

12:17And being comfortable with used items by shopping on Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, or maybe through estate sales, too. Yeah, looking for deals has definitely gotten easier than it was in 2000. You know, there are things like Crackitin, there's grocery store digital coupons, just being able to Google discount codes. And those are things that I definitely do as a matter of course. I give us an A on that category, especially because I think that we often try to buy used. You know, if you look around our house, we call it the house that Facebook Marketplace built because of all the decor coming from other people's things that they're getting rid of.

12:49And the exception for me would be holiday gift giving. I would say that if you call something a gift, I'm much less inclined to seek out a bargain. And that would be an area that I'd love to track a little bit better. And that's part of what makes you such a great mom, of course. All right, let's move on to our fifth component, the State of the Union. And we had in quotes by fellow Brokamps. And the point here is to monitor progress. Yeah, we were talking about finding a way to commit to some kind of regular touching base opportunity related to our finances. So in the original manifesto, we said we'd meet every Thursday, but this morphed into what we call the Sunday Summit, which is kind of like a life planning session for the week.

13:28And finances often are a part of that. So we talk about the schedule and who has to do what. And this became really important, especially as we had kids who were doing zillions of activities throughout the week. This is probably Sunday Summit is probably my favorite thing that we've done. not only because I like you, Robert, and I like spending time with you, but also because I think that so many problems can be avoided if you identify the pain points early and take some steps to deal with them. So, and then I think that being flexible, learning to be flexible when life gets in the way so that we're not able to do it, or when we're coming at an issue from different vantage points and we need to kind of diffuse rather than meet in person, we've developed ways of dealing with that too.

14:09So writing each other an email to introduce the topic, for example, is one way we've dealt with that. And then consulting neutral parties to get help with roadblocks. So seeking out the advice of others instead of directly having a conversation about it at that point. I think those are good suggestions that may help other people. One of those neutral parties was a fielding financial planner, which may surprise people, given that I'm a certified financial planner myself. But I do think it's important for even financial professionals, as well as dedicated do-it-yourselfers, like many of the Motley Full Money podcast listeners are, to check in with a fee-only financial planner every few years just to get that objective professional point of view.

14:48And I think it could also help when partners don't agree on financial priorities, as long as both are willing to listen to the professional with an open mind. All right. So those were the five components of our financial manifesto. But in our article, we also highlighted some of the problems we encountered when creating it. So looking back 26 years later, which one sticks out to you the most? It's really interesting to look at that list because I think by this point, we've really grown up together. We've grown into our partnership for sure. So it doesn't feel the same anymore as when we were newly out of our family of origins homes and we were sort of reacting out of old money scripts.

15:24We've mellowed out a bit. We've developed a trust over time in each other's approach. And we really do a nice job of balancing each other out. But the one that I think still feels relevant is the one about timing. So approaching conversations at the right time. It's definitely important to know your partner well enough to know when a conversation is going to flop like a lead balloon. And when sometimes waiting just a little bit is going to lead to a more productive talk. Right. And I think we've developed a good sense of that. And when, as you mentioned previously, you know, maybe I'll make this an email first to introduce the topic and then see how it goes from there.

15:58The one problem that we highlighted in the article that I think is interesting now, looking back on it, was the initial disagreement about the manifesto itself, right? So I wanted this extensive document that was several pages long and it was more like a constitution, right? Dealt with every little thing about our finances, which I laugh about now because soon after we did this, we had kids and all that nitty gritty would have gone out the window. So you wisely convinced me that the manifesto should be more about, shall we say, like guiding principles than like a company's audited financials. So let's close here with some parting final advice.

16:35Is there anything we didn't discuss, but you think is important for couples to consider when coming up with their own plan for managing their money? I thought about this. I came up with three things. One is that I would definitely suggest to define winning as when you accomplish a financial goal together, not as when you get your personal way. And I've noticed this even on our conversation today, that when we talk, we're really careful to own our own part in problems or in situations that we've created financially and not really quick to blame the other person. That's something that in my work as a counselor, I have seen definitely that pointing fingers can be really destructive.

17:14Last, I'll say that it helps to be married to a retirement expert. But since there's only one of you to marry Robert, I'm really glad that people get to hear your advice on your show and in your articles. Well, that is very kind of you. I'll add to something that you hinted at earlier in that I think doing the manifesto early in our marriage was important because it set the ground rules early and we've mostly stuck to it, which has led to a lot of trust so that, you know, 26 years later, we don't have to be quite so vigilant about things. And I also point out that we've never been perfect with our money.

17:44And there were times that we didn't do everything that we laid out in our agreement. And I think that's to be expected. So any couples out there who spend some time creating their own agreement, but then something goes awry or you or your partner don't stick to the agreement 100 % of the time, that's fine. It's never going to be perfect. But the process of creating your own manifesto and then occasionally revisiting it will do all kinds of good things. gets you talking about money, figuring out what you agree on, identifying potential problems, and then, you know, hopefully talking through solutions and compromises and ideally setting your family up for a better financial future.

18:20Well, Elizabeth, this was fun. Thanks for joining me and happy Valentine's Day. Anything for my favorite fool. Thank you. Happy Valentine's Day. And thank you so much to all your listeners. Hey, it's Micah Sargent from Tech News Weekly. You got to check out this week's show because we talk about how everyone is stealing TV because they're tired of paying for streaming services. Also, Maltbook, that social media service that is specifically for the AI bots and how things are going there. It's very absurd. As well as, well, lockdown mode for the iPhone actually coming in clutch when it comes to FBI forensic evidence.

18:57We also have Abrar Al-Heaty on to tell us about the Samsung Galaxy Z Trifold, and I asked her, what's the unboxing experience To check out this episode of Tech News Weekly, head to twit.tv slash TNW to subscribe or just search for Tech News Weekly wherever you get your podcasts. It's time to get it done, fools. And last week, my colleague Stephanie Marini joined me to discuss how you can calculate and automate the amounts you need to pay off your debts, build a safety net, and save enough to accomplish your financial goals. And you just heard me and my wife discuss how we've managed money as a couple.

19:33Now, I'd love to hear from you. What have you done to make sure your finances are on track? And how have you and your partner found money harmony? Send your tips, tricks, and recommendations to podcasts at fool.com. And I'll share a few in the next episode. Again, that's podcasts at fool.com. Also, in case you want to read the article, my wife and I wrote way back when it's still on the web, just do an online search for it. And if you're looking for a more fun article about couples and money that has my byline but had plenty of ideas from other fools, including my wife, do a search for the Fooley Wed Game, which is a list of questions you and your spouse can answer to see how much you're aligned on money.

20:12And that, my friends, is the show. Thanks so much for listening. Thanks to Bart Shannon, as always, the engineer for this episode. And as always, people on the program may have interest in the stocks they talk about. And The Motley Fool may have formal recommendations for or against, so don't buy or sell stocks based solely on what you hear. All personal finance content follows Motley Fool editorial standards and is not approved by advertisers. Advertisements are sponsored content and are provided for informational purposes only. To see our full advertising disclosure, please check out our show notes.

20:42I'm Robert Brokamp. Fool on, everybody.

20:52Thank you.