Expertly Done (PODCAST EXCLUSIVE EPISODE)

0:00Today, I'm going to share three stories that are about people who have a lot of experience in a particular area, but their expertise and really their confidence surrounding their expertise is actually exactly the thing that causes them to make a disastrous mistake. But before we get into today's stories, if you're a fan of the strange, dark, and mysterious delivered in story format, then you've come to the right place because that's all we do and we upload two, three, even four times every week. So, if that's of interest to you, the next time you're at the Follow Button's house, sneak into their kitchen and steal all of their forks.

0:36Okay, let's get into our first story called Protection.

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2:22However, running around like this was really taxing, especially on his lungs, because for decades he had worked in this very dusty pottery factory and it had really taken a toll on him. So moving faster was really hard to do. But he really needed to push through the pain and the discomfort and finish what he was doing before it got dark out. Because when it got dark out, that's when the vampires came out. So Demetrius had immigrated from Poland about 25 years earlier. And in his home country, vampires were not just, you know, lore, but actually they were a huge part of the culture and were often spoken about as being very real dangers that people should be scared of.

3:06And recently, Demetrius, despite now living in England, of course, he had begun hearing about a lot of vampire sightings here. A few years ago, he started noticing these news reports about a vampire that was living in London's Highgate Cemetery And also around the same time he began seeing those reports, he also learned about these two girls who had been attacked by a vampire in the English countryside. And Demetrius, he just could not believe how people were just not that panicked about this. I mean, Demetrius was terrified. You know, he had grown up being scared of vampires that obviously, you know, played a role in his reaction to these sightings now in England.

3:46But still, he's thinking, like, why aren't more people scared about this? But even more than that, when Demetrius would actually talk about these vampire concerns that he had with people in England, he found most people thought it was fake. That they thought that these news reports and all that stuff, it was just made up. It was fake. And then they would kind of look at Demetrius as sort of like an idiot for thinking that that was real. Like, come on, vampires aren't real. But to Demetrius, he just felt like, you know what? Those people who don't believe in this very real threat that obviously is getting worse here, those people, they're the idiots, not him.

4:25And so Demetrius, instead of trying to defend his position or try to convince anyone to believe what he believed, he decided to just do what he had to do to protect himself. And he knew exactly what to do. So Demetrius, he had a whole routine of things he would do to protect himself from vampires when he was living in Poland, and mostly he had abandoned that routine when he came to England. But now, you know, since these sightings, he had brought back that routine, and it was very extensive. He had added on to it, made it more elaborate, but it was something he now did every single night, because vampires only come out at night, and so that's when you need protection.

5:06So before Demetrius climbed in bed at night, he would pour salt all around the room, and he would also scatter fresh garlic cloves everywhere, since those were both very toxic to vampires. And then after that, he would go up to each of the crosses that he had on his wall to make sure they were properly secured, because crosses are known deterrents to vampires. And then typically, after checking all the crucifixes, he would go around and maybe do a little more salt, a few more garlic cloves, and then once everything was in place, and secure, he would climb into bed. And the moment his head hit the pillow, he would feel his heart rate finally start to settle down, because he knew that, at least for this night, he would be safe.

5:47And so in November of 1972, Demetrius just continued every night doing his vampire protection procedure. And even though some people thought this was very strange and very paranoid of him, because, you know, vampires aren't real, right? Well, it wasn't hurting anyone. You know, Demetrius felt better when he did it. It was just sort of his own thing. And so he just continued to do it and it didn't cause any problems. Until November 24th of that year. So on that day, just before 10 p.m., police constable John Pye of the Stoke-on-Trent Police Department, he walked up to the entrance of Demetrius's boarding house.

6:25He was here to do a wellness check because the landlady of this place had called the station to tell them that she hadn't seen one of her tenants, Demetrius Matura, in about a week, and was starting to worry about him. So now, Pai knocked on the front door, and a few seconds later, this older woman swung it open, and she introduced herself as the landlady, and then she let Pai inside and let him down a hallway and stopped in front of Demetrius's door. And so, Pai knocked, and he called out to Demetrius, announcing that he was the police, and he was just here to make sure he was okay. But there was no sound coming from inside the room.

7:00And then when Pi reached down and tried the handle, he found it was locked. And so after knocking a few more times and calling out and still not hearing anything from inside, Pi told the landlady to go ahead and step back because he was going to knock this door down. So Pi, he leaned back and then rammed his shoulder against the door. And actually it swung open really quickly. And immediately, immediately, Pi and the landlady were hit with this really strong smell of garlic that was coming out of the very dark room in front of them. And so Pi immediately yells into the room for Demetrius, but there's no response.

7:34And so Pi, he reaches in and tries to find a light switch, and he does, and he flips it on, but it wasn't working for some reason. So Pi, he pulled out his flashlight off his belt, he clicked it on, and then he walked into the room. And right away, Pi felt like this this small dark room was the most bizarre, creepy space he had ever been inside of. There was what appeared to be salt all over the floor. And there were also cloves of garlic, like everywhere, not just on the ground, but also up on windowsills. And then at some point, Pi swept his flashlight from the wall over to the bed in the back of this room.

8:14It's basically like a one-bedroom apartment. And he sees the bed, and he sees there was a definitive human-sized lump under the sheets. And so right away, he had a good sense of what it was. And so Pai, he walked across the floor, stepping on garlic and salt as he went. And when he reached the bed, he pulled back the sheets. And under the sheets was the very obviously dead body of Demetrius Matura. Pai heard the sound of the landlady who had followed him inside by this point. She gasped because she's seeing, you know, what's inside of her boarding house here. And at this point, even though Pai was, like, very sure Demetrius was dead, just to be sure, he reached down and he felt for a pulse, but there was none.

8:56And also, Demetrius's skin was very cold and very pale. However, despite how very obviously deceased Demetrius was, Pai looked around and couldn't really make sense of exactly how he had died. I mean, there was no denying that he was in a very strange location, but he couldn't really picture how the salt and the garlic and the crosses could have had anything to do with his death. You know, maybe it was just the insanity of a dying man who crawled into bed and he died in here or something, but it was like there's no visible wounds, there's no blood anywhere, there's nothing. It's just this weird, creepy room this guy's in and he's just dead under the sheets.

9:34It was just bizarre. But there was one thing about Demetrius that in Pai's mind was pretty disturbing. I mean, even more so than what he was already seeing. And that was that Demetrius, he had died with this terrified-looking expression on his face. Like his mouth was wide open, like it was frozen as if he'd been screaming as he took his final breath. Which made Demetrius wonder if maybe when he died, his death had been quite painful or just terrifying. Like maybe Demetrius had seen something, like as he died, was he scared of something as he was dying that caused his face to sort of freeze in this expression.

10:15However, that made Pai think that maybe this was a homicide. You know, that the victim, Demetrius, was scared of the attacker, and that's why he looked the way he did. The attacker is attacking him, and he's reacting. But Pai's looking at the body thinking, I don't think this was a homicide, because there's just no injury anywhere. So what would the attacker have done? Like, how could they have forcibly killed Demetrius without leaving any marks anywhere? Now, Pi knew he was not going to get any real answers here without an autopsy. But while he was here, he could at least do a search of the room and also canvass the neighbors, starting with the landlady.

10:53So he turned to the visibly shocked landlady and asked her, like, hey, what's the deal with all the salt and the crosses and the garlic? Like, what's that about? And surprisingly, she shrugged it off, like, it was just no big deal. It's just what Demetrius did. And when Pai was like, what do you mean? She explained that Demetrius had a really serious phobia of vampires. And these were measures he took to protect himself from vampires. For a second, Pai just stared back at her. Like he couldn't believe what he was being told. But then he was also thinking like, all right, I'm looking around the room.

11:26This is already totally weird. So actually, in a way, that sort of tracks. However, Pai wasn't sure if Demetrius' apparent delusion around vampires really had anything to do with Demetrius' death or not, or if this is just a quirk of the case that this man died, you know, however he died, and also was scared of vampires. He didn't know. But for now, Pai was just incredibly curious and absolutely determined to get answers. A little over a month later, police constable Pai was sitting at his desk in police headquarters reading a library book about vampires. So Demetrius's case was actually on pause while Pi waited for the autopsy results.

12:08But even though he really couldn't do much until those results came in, Pi himself just couldn't stop thinking about Demetrius's creepy room and all his vampire stuff. And so on his own, Pi had become a little bit obsessed. Now, there was a possibility that Demetrius had simply died from some illness in his sleep. Pai had learned that Demetrius had actually been sick a lot before he died, and that he'd worked in a pottery factory that really affected his lungs. So, Pai knew that it was entirely possible that Demetrius had some form of potter's rot, which was a lung disease that a lot of pottery workers got from the bad air in the factory.

12:48But potter's rot was like this slow-moving, sort of compounding sickness. It was very progressive, but over a long period of time. And Demetrius apparently had died suddenly. And Pai had spoken to all of Demetrius's neighbors, and they all said, you know, in the time leading up to his death, he wasn't showing any obvious sign of getting sick, or getting sicker, I should say. Like, there was no progression happening. He seemed normal and then was just dead. So that sort of confirmed that potter's rot seemed unlikely. Additionally, when Pai spoke to the neighbors, they also communicated that it didn't seem like Demetrius had any obvious enemies.

13:27So, the idea that there had been some kind of invisible foul play like poisoning also didn't really make sense. And so, without any other theories to work on, and without the autopsy results yet, Pai had been doing a lot of research on vampires. Now, he was certainly not about to consider that a vampire had killed Demetrius, but the scene of Demetrius's death was just so weird that Pai couldn't get past the feeling that somehow vampires must have had something to do with his death. So far, though, his research really hadn't helped clear that up. But just then, Pai's phone rang, and when he answered it, his heart began to race because it was the coroner, And the coroner said the autopsy was done.

14:13And the coroner told Pi that he was never going to believe what that autopsy had discovered. It would turn out Pi had been right. Vampires had everything to do with this death. On the night that Demetrius died, he had done all the things he usually did to keep himself safe before he climbed in bed. But unlike the other nights when he had done this procedure, This night, his routine had not worked. So Demetrius, along with spreading salt all over his room, also put garlic cloves everywhere, since that was one of the most famous ways to ward off vampires. And so he did it every single night. And one of the places, in addition to the floor and the windowsills, that Demetrius would put these cloves at night, one of those places was his own mouth.

15:01and he'd become really good at keeping that garlic clove under his tongue while he was asleep. But on that night in November, something went wrong. While he slept, the clove slipped out from under his tongue, went down his throat, and got stuck. And during the autopsy, the coroner literally found the clove still stuck there. And so it was determined that he had died from choking on it. So, while garlic cloves may have played a role in protecting Demetrius from vampires, unfortunately, it was literally the clove itself that killed him.

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18:02Our second story is called Bucktooth.

18:10One fall afternoon in the late 9th century, a Viking leader named Sigurd Eistensen rode his horse across this large field in northeastern Scotland. Riding on either side of him were two of his commanders, and behind the three of them was Sigurd's entire army. This field they were traveling across was about to become a battlefield, and Sigurd and his commanders were riding out to meet the leader of the opposing army who would be taking part in this battle, a horrible bucktooth man named Myl Brigta. And Myl was actually already in place at the meeting spot, right in the middle of this battlefield.

18:47And he was on his horse, and he was flanked on either side by two commanders as well. And then, you know, well behind him was his sea of warriors that would be taking part in this battle. So Myl, he ruled a kingdom called Murray, which was a large area in the north of Scotland. And Sigurd wanted to conquer it. And so today, Sigurd and Mile were meeting in the middle of this really potential battlefield with their respective armies waiting in the wings, you know, behind them. And the idea was, is they would try to negotiate. Effectively, Sigurd would, you know, basically tell Mile, you know, give me some percentage of your land and we won't, you know, raid your area and try to conquer you.

19:27And it was sort of on Mile to determine if that was a worthy thing or not, or if it was better to just stand your ground and fight. Sigurd was not worried, because he knew that ultimately he was going to win that fight. Not only did Sigurd's Viking army vastly outnumber the Murray, but Sigurd himself was just far more accomplished on the battlefield than Mile. Sigurd was actually known as Sigurd the Mighty, and he was this famous fearsome warrior who'd spent the last two decades ruthlessly conquering parts of Scotland for his king back in Norway. Myle, on the other hand, was not really feared or respected like that, certainly not by Sigurd.

20:06Myle was really known just to be sort of impulsive and kind of untrustworthy and also definitely kind of dumb. And now, as Sigurd and his commanders arrived in the middle of the field, right in front of Myle and his two commanders, and they brought their horses to a halt, Sigurd could now see with his own two eyes another thing about Mile that he actually was known for, he was famous for, and that was his two giant front teeth that stuck out way over his bottom lip and actually had earned him a nickname of sorts, which was Mile the Bucktoothed. And so not long after Sigurd arrived, Sigurd and Mile and the other commanders began their negotiation.

20:45But Sigurd quickly realized that Mile was not there to make concessions in order to, you know, find a path to peace. He was actually trying to make demands of the Vikings. Like, he was there telling the Vikings what to do, which is just, in Sigurd's mind, totally ridiculous. I mean, you're outnumbered, you're outclassed, like, what are you doing? In fact, Sigurd, like, couldn't believe what was even happening. I mean, as far as he was concerned, Mile was just a nobody. And his demands, in some ways, were just disrespectful. not real demands. You know, if Mile was smart, he would be begging for mercy here, but obviously he was not smart.

21:22And so Sigurd quickly realized that what would have to happen here is he and his Vikings would have to just slaughter his army and seize his lands. And so at some point, while Mile was literally mid-sentence, you know, making whatever demand he was making, Sigurd turned to his two commanders and just gave the signal that they were not doing this, they were going to have to fight here. And so Sigurd just grabbed the horse's reins, turned around, and he and his commanders galloped back to his army. And as soon as they got there, Sigurd told his men that they were going to have to massacre all the Murray.

21:53But they needed to save Mile the Bucktoothed for him. Hours later, Sigurd was still on his horse, but this time he was leading what remained of his victorious Viking army down this dirt road away from the battlefield and back towards their camp. Sigurd, like basically all of his men, was totally exhausted, but he was also full of adrenaline because the battle was over and it had gone exactly the way he knew it would. His soldiers had completely destroyed Mile and his army and he, Sigurd, had personally killed Mile. And so now, as Sigurd rode along here, he looked down at Mile's severed head, which he himself had removed from his adversary's body and then he had attached the head to his saddle.

22:38He looked down at the head and the head's dangling near his legs and, you know, Miles' eyes are wide open and looking vacantly up at Sigurd and his mouth was wide open as well, which only sort of made his front teeth look even bigger and hang out even more. And as Sigurd gazed down at this head, he couldn't help but smile as a wave of just pure satisfaction washed over him. During their pre-battle negotiations, Miles had just been unbearably annoying and sort of offensive. And so Sigurd was thrilled he'd gotten the best of him and now had his head dangling right near his legs. Like, that is just perfect for Sigurd.

23:13And now that Mile the Buck Toothed was dead, Sigurd was one step closer to conquering all of Scotland. So he gave out this loud, triumphant war cry, and his men answered him with cheers. Then Sigurd spurred his horse into a full gallop. However, just a few days later, everything had changed for Sigurd. By this point, Sigurd was now laying under a wool blanket in this stone shack in one of his Scottish settlements, and he was screaming in pain. Because over the last couple of days, he'd gotten incredibly sick. And now he was delirious, and he had such a bad fever that he was both covered in sweat and also shivering nonstop.

23:54And then at some point, the doctor who had been taking care of Sigurd came into the shack to check on him. and after looking him over, the doctor just shook his head and told Sigurd that he had done all he could, but this sickness, whatever it was, was going to kill him. And Sigurd, when he heard this, he felt nothing but rage. Not because he was dying, but because he knew that he'd actually been very wrong. He had not gotten the best of Mile the Bucktoothed. Mile the Bucktoothed had clearly gotten the best of him. So it would turn out, after the big battle, after, you know, Sigurd had won so triumphantly, as he was riding along, carrying along with him, the head of his adversary, Miles' severed head, well, as he began galloping faster and faster, and he's cheering for his men, they're so triumphant, and everyone's cheering along, as he's going faster and faster, the head, the severed head, began bouncing, you know, because of the movement.

24:51And remember, Miles got those big two front teeth, He's got a nickname, Myle the Bucktoothed, for a reason. Well, those teeth, as the head jostled around, began puncturing Sigurd's thigh. And he didn't notice it because he was so jacked up on adrenaline. He's galloping off. He's looking down. He sees blood all over his legs. And he's thinking it's got to be Myle's blood from the fact that his head's been cut off. But no, it was actually Sigurd's blood from the punctures from Myle's buck teeth. And so in the end, even though Sigurd did, you know, successfully kill Myle, he won the battle. Well, it would turn out that Mile wasn't done with Sigurd.