An almost Halloween Special, Lily Allen & The Louvre

4:13Vogue Williams:Sure. So, you know the way I was complaining about my anxiety after drinking and how I just, it's not me anymore. I really went I went far with this when I was in the holes of depression after my birthday I got in touch with my therapist and I was like we need to talk we need to talk and it only the day only arrived yesterday and by yesterday I was fine oh yeah I've done that yeah yeah yeah yeah so I had to talk to him about my boozing and I was like I don't even drink that much and I was like how can I not drink much anymore I don't want to drink anymore and I was like I was kind of fine with it but I've decided now that I will drink but I'm only having a couple that's my tipping point.

4:50Joanne McNally:Oh, very good, yeah. And listen, I totally empathise, not with the tipping point, I don't understand that at all, but I am...

4:58Vogue Williams:My tipping point around you would be zero, let's say, so I'm not allowed to have any around you.

5:02Joanne McNally:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my tipping point is bitter disappointment that you're not having any.

5:06Vogue Williams:But

5:07Joanne McNally:I've done that thing where I've booked in therapy sessions, and then by the time the session comes around, I'm like, I'm absolutely grand! Yeah. I think I still out about three sessions might better help I keep buying them and then I'm like I couldn't be arse now

5:21Vogue Williams:Yeah but you have to pay for them so I was like I have to I'm following through here I have to follow through I'll just remember what I wanted to talk about last week when I was feeling awful and I'll talk about that and I did

5:31Joanne McNally:It was only when my therapist started saying she's like I'm going to start charging you anyway whether you turn up or not

5:36Vogue Williams:Oh they do that anyway Well maybe I wasn't giving enough cancel I don't know but I had a terrible habit of when you're in the doldrums of whatever

5:45Joanne McNally:panic attack you're in and then when the clouds clear because you have a shower or eat a meal or leave the house or have a phone call with one of your mates and then you're kind of you know you're back in the game

5:55Vogue Williams:I bought like four different natural sleep aids and everything I was like I'll never sleep again I'll never have a nice sleep again I'll just I hate this and I have all this shit that's arriving at my house and do you know what sleeping like a baby sleeping like a baby

6:11Vogue Williams:I did something to Gigi today and I don't know if it's bad or not because I know that like competitions like you're meant to be in a competition and like whoever wins wins and whoever doesn't win doesn't win but when we were down at center parks the weekend she there was competition to so she she entered this coloring competition and it was in the toy shop and someone was obviously going to win by the end of when everyone was staying and she spent like two hours coloring in this thing and it was pretty good she was doing patterns and everything on it and so we entered it and then I kind of said to the cash register I was like well we won't be here at one o 'clock and she's like that's when like we're giving out the prize and I was like oh god that means she's not gonna win not that she couldn't have won but today I faked a phone call oh good

6:52Joanne McNally:for you I had to I had to and I was like what did they say was the prize and she was like

6:59Vogue Williams:a Halloween teddy I was like straight on to Amazon when a Halloween teddy arrives on Thursday and I was like is that bad to do no because it's Gigi you know she'll kick off if she doesn't win like

7:12Joanne McNally:the damage is done with her do you know what I mean now you just have to lean into you have to lean into the consequences of your actions and she has to win yeah she has to win everything or it's going to make your life really difficult no I think that's fine will you ring me and tell me I won a BAFTA I probably believe you

7:30Vogue Williams:if you could win any award what would you win an Oscar an Oscar well you see your tour

7:35Joanne McNally:like do you know it's very sometimes I think your fantasies or dreams they have to be a little bit realistic I just would never even be arsed with an Oscar I'm like what am I going to win an Oscar for do you know we'd have to

7:48Vogue Williams:yeah we'd have to go to the show and then like learn all the lines

7:53Joanne McNally:and all

8:02Joanne McNally:I've got real Christmas vibes don't I this is like real coming to you live from the horse and bucket you're like mine

8:10Vogue Williams:to already coming live from the Devonshire.

8:13Joanne McNally:Yes!

8:20Vogue Williams:Right, okay, come on, hit me, I'm ready, I can't wait. I know that you loved, and I have just, I've been, there's too much coming in now, there's even more today, so you tell us what your favourite thing, well we all know if you follow Joanne. Well. Our special reporter.

8:40Joanne McNally:sometimes I get I focus I focus on things and I'm on the road at the moment I don't have a huge amount going on outside of sitting in airports and reading things the Lily Allen drama rolls on my god

8:57Vogue Williams:the Lily Allen drama rolls on

8:59Joanne McNally:apparently for anyone who's been living literally under a rock in Middle Earth or the underground what's the what's the what's the world called in Stranger Things The Upside Down I should have thought of that before the podcast that's a great segue

9:14Vogue Williams:The Upside Down is that a good show? David Harbour's in it I know I know

9:19Joanne McNally:I actually forgot it existed after series one being totally honest I completely forgot it existed it was great I enjoyed it and I never thought about it again the fact it's still going was a bit of a shock to me but it is and apparently it's very popular we all know Lily Allen has released quite frankly a masterpiece in female revenge it is a no-held barred thread of the breakdown of their marriage there's voice notes there is names fake names obviously this is the other thing I couldn't believe like obviously we all know it's him blah blah blah but like I've written pieces for various newspapers and I'm sure you had it with the book Vogue where they're like you can't this guy is recognisable like this can't go in

10:03Vogue Williams:and you're like

10:04Joanne McNally:alright Grant

10:04Vogue Williams:how on earth

10:07Joanne McNally:how many obstacles and hoops the legal teams had to jump through to get this across the line I do not know but it says inspired by which I think is a way of kind of jumping out of all responsibility it's R allegedly

10:19Vogue Williams:R allegedly

10:20Joanne McNally:it's R allegedly anyway the thing is the album's phenomenal it's basically tipping all the charts five star reviews everyone's obsessed with it couple of things one David Harbour has had to turn his comments section off two they opened their marriage like the politics of it like it's like a kind of I think it's like an example of she even says it herself trying to be a modern wife and just not being able to figure it out also he broke the rules in an open marriage who the fuck opens their marriage oh my god I couldn't think of anything worse I'd rather gargle silage for a year than have my partner riding someone else and me high-fiving them when they come home and asking them about it I don't think so and

11:00Vogue Williams:I think if you started doing that though you're going to just you're playing with fire like I could never you have to unlearn jealousy that's because I spent time with thruffles and things like that when I was filming a TV show and like they call themselves the tripod and like you have to unlearn jealousy how the fuck does anyone unlearn jealousy it's

11:19Joanne McNally:a jealousy I think is something you can probably control if you struggle with it like if it's unmanageable but to have none of it are you a cyborg no

11:30Vogue Williams:couldn't but now can I add to this whole thing and I know that you, you, I said to Joanne, I was like, because I was reading about it, and I was like, oh, do you know Lily Allen said that she cheated on her first husband? And Joanne's like, oh, yo, I don't mind about that so much. That he cheated on her, I don't like that. Yeah, it doesn't suit my narrative. I'm a raving hypocrite.

11:53Joanne McNally:I don't care that she cheated. But listen to this.

11:54Vogue Williams:What I literally read before I came on the pod, okay, one thing, David Harbour was spotted out with Lily Allen's kids at Universal Studios, so they're still obviously a friendly and I kind of liked that and I thought that that's actually really nice of him to still be like hanging out with her kids and making that effort because he was in their life for a long time don't hate me don't hate me for a second

12:13Joanne McNally:I'm the same but I would say that was a I'd say that was very much a PR

12:20Vogue Williams:crisis response I don't know because then Lily Allen came out and had she did an interview and she said this isn't a revenge album at all I didn't mean to be nasty about anyone and it's like and then she said she wrote it in 10 days in December when she was obviously in the thick of her breakup but like let's call a spade a spade here like it kind of is a revengey album and like if you're gonna Spade a spade let's call a shovel and machete it is absolutely a revenge album I know but she came out and said it wouldn't and I'm like don't mind her don't backtrack look Joanne's like don't ruin this story for me I'm like don't listen to Lily listen to me okay I know more than Lily Allin O's herself I don't know I think that when she decided like I don't even think that that's necessarily a modern marriage everyone's marriage is very different and what like what goes on in a marriage for everybody is completely different to her marriage to somebody else's marriage but I think being able to open a marriage like that like that just takes a different kind of person like you can't just decide a man today well or Lily Allen she decided to open her marriage

13:24Joanne McNally:no she didn't decide she didn't want to he wanted to oh she didn't

13:28Vogue Williams:oh my god if I didn't want to I'd be like no no

13:31Joanne McNally:it's very clear first song West End Girl she talks about the fact that they got together they bought one of those brownstone homes it was all going perfectly look right in paper

13:39Vogue Williams:Isn't it amazing the house was

13:41Joanne McNally:The house was insane

13:44Vogue Williams:Insane Insane And I just saw they put it up for sale and I feel bad for her because she had to sell her dream house the last time she broke up with her husband and now she's having to sell that house but I don't think she wants to live in New York I mean I don't know her at all Well no she went for

13:54Joanne McNally:she went for him she went for him

13:57Vogue Williams:she's like I gave up my immigration status or changed my immigration status for you to treat me like a stranger

14:00Joanne McNally:since she got cast in a play that 21222 ghost thing that I think you were almost going to be in at one stage folk.

14:08Vogue Williams:In the Irish? What the fuck is that I'm talking about? I went to Radha.

14:13Joanne McNally:I went to Radha. No but hold on I don't think that's it I didn't think that's like a shady comment. No it's not shady

14:20Vogue Williams:I just I didn't I was yeah okay.

14:22Joanne McNally:Yeah you were going to do it and then and Lily got cast in it she got cast as the lead and she said she told David that she was cast as the lead and he said because he was a theatre actor before he was a TV actor he said in a kind of a weird kind of mean way I would have had to I would have had to have auditioned for that and I know and I and you know and I know Vogue we're not going to mention names but we've both been in relationships with men who have if their career isn't going as well as your career or whatever sometimes they don't like it and no more than I am absolutely convinced that's why Keith Urban left Nicole Kidman

14:58Vogue Williams:but that's a totally other episode anyway

15:00Joanne McNally:she gets in the play and goes back gets cast in West End Girls starts the rehearsals in May not in West End Girls

15:06Vogue Williams:2 and 2 sorry 2 and 2 sorry 2 there was two plays she did she did really well in them as well she got like everyone was amazed by her

15:15Joanne McNally:you could have done that yeah that could have been you

15:16Vogue Williams:did you actually go to Radha? I can't yeah can I just block that out? I went I used to do

15:23Joanne McNally:like I was in the gay excuse me I was in the gay school of acting well I mean no shade to the gay school of acting but that does seem like a more achievable girl. Radha, is that not like where Shakespeare went at all? I mean,

15:35Vogue Williams:yeah, it was a summer course. It was a Shakespearean based drama course over the summer paid for by Neil Wilson. Summer course.

15:42Joanne McNally:Fine. I understand now. Juwan. When the real students were on their holidays.

15:46Vogue Williams:Oh yeah, okay.

15:47Joanne McNally:I didn't see you

15:48Vogue Williams:walking through the Radha doors. No, I was tap dancing in... Oh, were you? Yeah.

15:55Joanne McNally:Yeah. No, okay, I didn't get him.

16:01Joanne McNally:Anyway So she gets this part She goes to London She's in rehearsals She gets a phone call From David Harbour She plays out In the song And he It's all her responses You don't hear him And he's basically saying He wants to open the marriage And she's like This makes me really sad How will it work This makes me I don't feel great about this And then she's like Okay I love you I just want you to be happy

16:21Vogue Williams:No sorry I wouldn't want I want you to be happy Anyone to be happy

16:24Joanne McNally:But not

16:24Vogue Williams:Not at the risk Of my own happiness Exactly

16:29Joanne McNally:Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. She basically sacrificed herself for mental health and her own happiness because she loved him. And she was like, this is what this man needs. And then he had, it was all these rules about there couldn't be any emotion and all this jazz. And then he began an affair with a woman called Madeline. And then she went to drop all his shit off at his apartment, his spare apartment in Upper East, West, North Side, whatever the way the New York works. And she let her, she put her key in the door and she opened the apartment and she thought it was a dojo, which I think is like a karate practicing room.

17:00Joanne McNally:And she found his sex palace, as she calls it in the song, his pussy palace. 100 Trojan condoms,

17:10Vogue Williams:lube, butt plugs.

17:12Joanne McNally:Yeah, and I guarantee there's going to be people going to Halloween parties as David Harbour this year with a bag full of butt plugs and Trojan condoms. Mark my words. She goes, I didn't know what's pussy palace with. And because her voice is so like sweet, it's really well done

17:27Vogue Williams:it's just like I don't I don't want to be mean here but like Pussy Palace I just don't really see him like Pussy Palace as the butt plug kind of guy Pussy Palace

17:37Joanne McNally:oh sorry he's a lad with a butt

17:39Vogue Williams:it's such it's I don't know her album's done well and I think that that's a fair play to her but I would I haven't listened to it yet

17:47Joanne McNally:it should be a musical I'd go and see it in the West End I mean

17:50Vogue Williams:there's always a great story like that

17:52Joanne McNally:I mean

17:53Vogue Williams:did you see each other in the summer though she was going to I'll play Madeline

17:57Joanne McNally:Madeleine's a woman you had the affair with She's not in it Which is perfect

18:01Vogue Williams:I'll be David I'm David You be David Love a butt plug Love a butt plug

18:07Joanne McNally:That'll be the next headline We'll have to get one large enough All those squats Nothing will stay in

18:18Joanne McNally:The prop department will be driven mad Can't get one big enough for her She'll stop squatting in the interval in the after show in rehearsals she's squatting all the time thank you small names

18:35Vogue Williams:did you see sorry I want to tell you about other couple news that I saw this is so random first of all Lily Allen I saw she was getting out with that guy what's his name

18:44Joanne McNally:Norton what's his name that English actor yes your man who was in House of Guinness yeah

18:48Vogue Williams:so she went out with him for like five seconds in the summer and then he was just dating somebody else after I don't obviously know what happened there. It's so interesting. They met Alreya. Yeah, I heard that. But did you see her one Sophie Turner, who used to go out with one of the Jonas's? She is now going out with supposedly, allegedly, Chris Martin.

19:09Joanne McNally:I saw that. I'll have to have that confirmed. I'll check my WhatsApp groups.

19:15Vogue Williams:Does well for yourself in those little belly tucks.

19:18Joanne McNally:I'll drive my van around Hollywood with my satellite dish on the top when I get my information. I've half the catering staff bugged

19:26Vogue Williams:I just love it though I know I mean

19:30Joanne McNally:there is a little like I will say I get a little bit frustrated now am I putting myself in the same bracket as Sophie Turner and Chris Martin I guess I am but I am jealous of these celebrity relationships where they literally jump from one they have so much access to hot people and they're all obviously just rich and gay and up for right whatever like I went on sorry I went on a date nap a week ago met a guy that I was like yeah you seem human normal he's like would you like to go on a date I said I will he said when are you free I said December 9th now I am on tour at the moment but December 9th how Sophie Turner like did he agree to that

20:13Vogue Williams:he did yeah

20:15Joanne McNally:he's waiting till December 9th now in fairness it's not like I do I do have nights off before then but I'll be honest on those I have occasional nights off I want to fucking sit in my bed watch Love is Blind wear a shoe mask and drink I'm sorry get the fuck out of your office and go on the date

20:32Vogue Williams:December 9th it's not even November this is bad this has gotten real bad now you need to get on to BetterHelp and start out

20:43Joanne McNally:got a real problem here I'm nesting it's cuffing season I'm just cuffing myself

20:49Vogue Williams:oh my god December 9th

20:52Joanne McNally:this is lad you were telling me about two weeks ago yeah it's December 9th and I'm free between 6 and 8

21:02Vogue Williams:that's why I haven't met anyone I was like why do you think you're literally not available but like I am looking for the rebound Lillianne Mull I don't know who she'll get with next but she was with your man I'm just going to call him Ed Norton what's his name again Nino Norton

21:18Joanne McNally:I know

21:19Vogue Williams:James Norton When I did that

21:21Joanne McNally:House of Guinness Netflix interview I did refer to him as James Croydon several times. Not Croydon, sorry Croydon. What's his name? James Croydon. James Norton. Whatever. Did you fancy him? Was he hot? I've seen him a couple of times. I didn't meet him. He looks hot.

21:36Vogue Williams:I used to think because remember I used to love his name Georges. Loved his Georges. Oh, I was, it was like,

21:42Joanne McNally:well I can't say a kink is too, that makes it sound. Also, we're not kink, by the way, not kink shaming on the bubble thing in your life.

21:49Vogue Williams:I'm paying them on field. Just be gentle on yourself. Just be gentle on yourself.

21:58Vogue Williams:Rebounders, think about, right, Justin Bieber gone out with, Selena Gomez moved on to Hayley Bieber,

22:03Joanne McNally:married her, rebound. Gigi Hadid. Well, I don't know if you can call them a rebound if they're now married with a child. Joanne, sorry, I can. Okay.

22:14Vogue Williams:Because that is what I've written down. Oh, fine. Perfect. Okay. Let's stick to the script. and you don't know the end of the story

22:23Joanne McNally:this isn't the Q &A section of the podcast I understand

22:26Vogue Williams:I'm here to receive information Gigi Hadid was going out with Zayn Malik and now she is going out with what's that hot fella's name who's had the facelift what's his name why don't I know anyone's name you know your man the hot one who Gigi Hadid he's the actor

22:43Joanne McNally:oh Bradley Cooper yes he's saying he now looks like Barry Manlow which I think is a bit harsh to be honest I think it'll settle It'll settle

22:55Vogue Williams:Jennifer Lopez Right She got rid of her husband Chris George Remember the dancer fella Jesus I forgot all about him

23:03Joanne McNally:Yeah

23:03Vogue Williams:Yeah And then got with Ben Affleck But then she Got rid of Ben Affleck So he was the rebound there Yeah that's Yeah Okay So my rebounds are working As we go on Okay Taylor Swift Remember she was going out With that fella You wouldn't know him Joe Allen Do you remember him

23:18Joanne McNally:I do know him Poor Joe

23:23Vogue Williams:I do know him

23:25Joanne McNally:He's a very famous actor Well he's an actor I don't watch TV I read Oh sorry of course She's gone out in it for six years She's below you now I understand

23:38Vogue Williams:Poof Yeah Well saying that the new Kardashians She's got a book under her belt

23:42Joanne McNally:She's got a book under her belt She doesn't even know what a TV is anymore Author Author slash reader Yeah

23:49Vogue Williams:so then she got with Matt Healy remember him yeah your man fucking Denise Welsh's son yeah also in a band quite a famous one I believe

24:02Joanne McNally:1975 it's a band but I mean ultimately he is Denise Welsh's son that's how we know

24:08Vogue Williams:and then the ultimate one for rebounding is Pete Davidson he's literally like a pinball machine he just goes out with absolutely everybody but every single ride you can think of like Kim Kardashian, Emily Ratajkowski, Phoebe Devenyer, I can't pronounce her name, Kaia Gerber, Margaret Qualley, Kate Beckinsale, Ariana Grande. Imagine that.

24:29Joanne McNally:I still I still, yeah, everyone feels like Pete Davidson is like a phase in a woman's life rather than it doesn't seem like a real relationship. Although he is now engaged, I think, or having a baby.

24:40Vogue Williams:Having a baby, having a baby, yeah.

24:41Joanne McNally:He's after getting something across the line. But I will say in all my 42 years of wisdom. Rebound your tits off. Rebound ping, ping, ping. Back and forth, back and forth. Keep that light on. Keep it going. Spin that vagina. Go, go, go. Not before December 9th

25:02Vogue Williams:though. No, not before December 9th. I'm on a promise.

25:05Joanne McNally:The second you take that foot off the pussy pedestal, things slow down for you. And it's very hard to put your foot back on the pedal. December 9th. between 6th and 8th. Buy your hat.

25:18Vogue Williams:I'm going to put that in my diary now. December 9th.

25:22Joanne McNally:Yeah. Rick will end up putting a job in or something and I'll be like I can't make it anymore. Well thank you for your listicle.

25:30Vogue Williams:Thank you. I actually loved doing that.

25:41Vogue Williams:Sorry by the way everyone Joe's not here he's on holidays. What?

25:46Joanne McNally:Did you not know? Didn't even notice.

25:55Joanne McNally:One of my favourite stories since I've seen you last.

25:58Vogue Williams:Yeah. The heist in the Louvre. Oh, I know. Yeah. Oh, God. Like, how?

26:06Joanne McNally:I mean.

26:07Vogue Williams:My initial reaction is...

26:09Joanne McNally:Give us your thoughts.

26:10Vogue Williams:They kind of, like, they won at fair and square.

26:14Joanne McNally:Yeah, I think that is...

26:15Vogue Williams:Have you ever had... We're all from the Louvre, like... Louvre. From the Louvre, yeah. No, no, no, do you want... Louvre.

26:22Joanne McNally:Louvre. Yeah, that's what I said. Sorry, were you educated in France for three months? No, I wasn't. Okay.

26:28Vogue Williams:I'd ask Pat for my money back if I was you. Louvre.

26:32Joanne McNally:That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me.

26:36Vogue Williams:Spencer says I have a great French accent.

26:39Joanne McNally:That's because he's trying to ride you all the time. Say anything.

26:44Vogue Williams:Anyway No I don't mean that Because like in all honesty I feel really sad When stuff like that gets stolen Like because it's just gone And they just break it down And just set it off And then it's forever hidden And I also wonder What happens to the art That gets robbed Like where is that going Whose house is it

26:57Joanne McNally:I know Is it just some hermit Fucking staring at a Picasso On his own Or is there some Like who So okay Couple of things One There's a whole industry of Well there's obviously An industry in High end jewellery Heisters right but then there's also an industry in stolen art detectives who their whole job is to find stolen art as listen to a podcast about it it's fucking fascinating they were talking about all the stuff that gets stolen and like obviously for anyone who again has been living under a rock three lads basically walked into the Louvre just kind of padded in of an afternoon and robbed the Crown Jewels in seven minutes

27:34Vogue Williams:seven and they did drop one

27:36Joanne McNally:they dropped one they dropped one I don't even think they set off an alarm they literally put up they dressed as construction workers

27:44Vogue Williams:your ex job folk

27:46Joanne McNally:strapped a ladder to a wall climbed up it walked in no alarm smashed a couple of boxes gone on e-scooters it's the most Gen Z exit I've ever seen it was almost like it was done so casually it was almost like they just thought of it while they were passing it was like fuck are we knocking into the Louvre yeah we'll go in there yeah we'll just knock in and see what we can get away with but anyway now they're like what do they do with them? Do they melt them down? Can they sell them individually? Is there some new lotto winner sitting in her kitchen wearing Napoleon's crown? Just drink a Prosecco.

28:21Joanne McNally:Like, what do you do with that stuff?

28:24Vogue Williams:Somebody is obviously, someone must be buying it. And I just think that because someone's obviously buying the art, because obviously you can break down the jewellery. Yeah. But it's not worth as much if you break it down.

28:34Joanne McNally:Well, they were saying they can pull apart the jewels and sell them individually as jewels. you know I know

28:42Vogue Williams:but I just don't think that would be kind of worth it really

28:46Joanne McNally:but I always thought like do you know the way we have a kind of a very what would I say unrealistic idea of heists from like Ocean's Eleven it's like men in chuxes coming down on strings

29:01Vogue Williams:and like

29:01Joanne McNally:trying to like not set off the lasers and the understanding was that places have security Like all the lasers That you have to

29:11Vogue Williams:Go through like a web Yeah

29:14Joanne McNally:I'd say I would have Found it harder

29:15Vogue Williams:To fucking rob Claire's Accessories Than these lads

29:17Joanne McNally:To take a shit Out of the Louvre

29:20Vogue Williams:Everyone was too busy Looking at the Mona Lisa That's the problem They were distracted Yeah and the Mona Lisa's like Excuse me Why is no one taking me Anyway

29:28Joanne McNally:I'm dying to see What they do with them I'm waiting to see them Come up on Etsy Fucking you know Those like our vintage Keep an eye on vintage For the crown jewels Well I'll tell you what If they do They didn't even have a gun

29:38Vogue Williams:they might have to give them back. They didn't even like Okay, the robbery took eight minutes but there were only four minutes in the museum itself. It's hot.

29:46Joanne McNally:Four minutes. It's sexy. It's hot. Without even a sandwich as a jelly snake to smack someone across the face with they just walked in and took what they wanted. It's arousing. It's absolutely wild. Isn't it? I can't wait to see them on Facebook Marketplace.

30:01Vogue Williams:You might. I'd say they're more of a vintage. You're not going to get them on Facebook. Gumtree. Gumtree. Gumtree.

30:10Joanne McNally:half a crown

30:16Vogue Williams:I've bad news for you

30:19Joanne McNally:brilliant I love a bit of drama

30:21Vogue Williams:it's only a matter of time before it comes our way to this country

30:25Joanne McNally:you couldn't afford the full crown for my Christmas present is that what it is

30:29Vogue Williams:Joanne we have an understanding I'm getting you what you're getting me which is oh wait till you see your birthday present well that's different birthdays are different birthdays are different

30:38Joanne McNally:it's being bespokely made and thank god the lads got into the Louvre on time

30:46Vogue Williams:I was worried I'm going to get a multicoloured one of your anxious preoccupied bags it's bespoke it's bespoke China are cracking down on influencers cultures with new guidelines right so you know the way we kind of talk about things that we don't have a clue about whether it be medical whether it be about something scientific well

31:08Joanne McNally:as is our right

31:09Vogue Williams:not for long my friend that's the podcast world you can talk about anything you want

31:13Joanne McNally:oh no in China

31:15Vogue Williams:you now have to have a degree if you want to talk about something so if you're talking about anything like that's got to do with law finance education you actually have to have a degree in one of those things so we can't just say

31:25Joanne McNally:say whatever we want about medicine and then say allegedly we can't do that anymore well in China you can't we can't hear for now oh my god so I'm going to have to train to be a sommelier from now on if I ever want to talk about my weekend. Yeah, yeah. That's it. That's the way it's going to be. China fascinates me and I think I'm going there soon. China will be nice.

31:45Vogue Williams:You'll enjoy it. It's a very long flight. I've been to... I've been... I've been there myself.

31:51Joanne McNally:No, I can't. The problem is for stand-up because I wanted to do a stand-up show there but you have to send them your show beforehand and there's a lot of like rules around it and obviously If you can't say anything that's not true

32:05Vogue Williams:I wouldn't have

32:06Joanne McNally:I wouldn't have a lot of a show really would I?

32:08Vogue Williams:I just wouldn't bother

32:09Joanne McNally:sending you You won't be allowed

32:12Vogue Williams:Not only will you not be allowed to perform you won't be allowed in the country

32:23Vogue Williams:Amber made me film we were going around Central Park on her bike in the dark with the Halloween song I was like Amber

32:28Joanne McNally:I don't want to do this anymore That's someone committed to making online content really now that's what you need thank god you've a podcast or her as well I don't do anything

32:43Vogue Williams:here come here to me it's Halloween when this happy Halloween everybody it's Halloween when this comes out is it what are you dressing up as come on I know you'll have made an effort this year

32:53Joanne McNally:David Harbour I told you I'm gonna have my David Mead bag or whatever that Mead read Dwayne Reid I'd say

33:01Vogue Williams:Dwayne Reid Dwayne Reid bag with butt plugs lube Do you know what grosses me about that the most? I just know I know men don't wash things properly and I know that bag must have reeked

33:16Joanne McNally:You're very concerned with odour at the moment People are going to think you're pregnant

33:22Vogue Williams:You're very concerned with odour

33:24Joanne McNally:Talk about it a lot

33:25Vogue Williams:Someone commented on that I did a picture of a suit that I wore that Karina Gaffey got me for the Kim Kardashian thing and someone goes oh look the pregnancy boobs are out we know you're pregnant or something like that and I was like that is the biggest compliment but no I am not pregnant there I would know

33:40Joanne McNally:I check her urine every morning because I'm dying to know when I get my holidays back from the podcast

33:51Vogue Williams:every morning I'm in there crawling in in goggles testing her urine in the toilet every morning If it ever happens again I'm going to spite you And I'm just I'm literally going to take A week off Catherine Meyer was on her podcast Like two days later I'm going to spite you Just What? I'm just going to annoy you I'm going to say You know I don't need a break I actually need my friends You're going to go full through I'm busy pulling Spencer out of her

34:18Joanne McNally:I'm like If he looks like he's close I'm like I'm on the ground I pop up from under the bed And I pull him out

34:26Vogue Williams:I'm trying to talk about Halloween here

34:28Joanne McNally:how do you go down this road sorry no sorry pull him in no sorry I mean keep him in that's what I mean no you want him out

34:34Vogue Williams:no because I want you pregnant

34:36Joanne McNally:for my holidays

34:36Vogue Williams:oh sorry yeah yeah yeah

34:38Joanne McNally:yeah so I'm busy trying to push him in God we're so used to the pull out trick

34:41Vogue Williams:that's all we know

34:45Joanne McNally:what's the keep in one I don't know what the keep in one is

34:54Vogue Williams:anyway I was going to say everyone thank you so much for listening and happy Halloween I am going to be a vampire

35:00Joanne McNally:Oh lovely Thank you Are you going to go around with Thank you David I appreciate it

35:18Joanne McNally:Oh God I'm so delighted for you That you've come to that decision And are you Do you know what I was thinking earlier I was like do women you know the way you go like a sexy cat or whatever would mothers be going around like delivering their kids for trick or treating dressed like sexy cats no I kind of never really

35:38Vogue Williams:got into the sex like I was Voldemort one year and then another year I was the exorcist girl I kind of never really I went down the sexy route once and I've seen a picture in real life that and in hindsight it wasn't sexy at all this year I'm just going as a full length dressed vampire I'm taking the kids around we're going out in Ireland because the treats in Ireland are phenomenal. Oh. So they have their bags and I have to take an extra excess bag to put all the sweets in because we get so many sweets that their bags are filled up really quick so it goes into my excess bag and then we go around.

36:09Vogue Williams:We only do an hour. I mean, you could clean up around here. Are they name dropping you at the door? Is that what's happening here? More! More!

36:18Joanne McNally:I don't even know my mother, Vogue Williams, but she's down at the end there dressed as a vampire in a full length gown. Oh, my mother would wish she were her daughter. she loves an A-line

36:27Vogue Williams:it's a full I'll send her a picture full A-line I've got a wig and everything a red and black wig ready to go

36:34Joanne McNally:so it's a full shift you're putting in a full shift for Halloween

36:37Vogue Williams:I mean my kids are so young we go out at half five we're back at half six

36:40Joanne McNally:I've got to go to bed oh grand

36:41Vogue Williams:yeah

36:42Joanne McNally:could you not just send them out themselves with a drown I finally could really and it's around Houth it's safe enough ship them put those little air tags in them or whatever

36:52Vogue Williams:they all have these watches now where like they can ring and text off the watch it's not an Apple watch it's some kids watch and he can see wherever they are but he's obsessed with being allowed to go places on his own now and I'm just like like in Centrefork when we went I was like allowing him to like he's like can I cycle ahead to the bike bar and I'd be like okay because it was like I could see him but like he's so obsessed and he's only seven and he's just desperate to be like go somewhere on his own

37:15Joanne McNally:He's fighting for his independence that's why I think Halloween would be a great opportunity to let him out on his own

37:23Vogue Williams:you know send him down to my mum on his own just fly him down there you go mum keep him an eye

37:28Joanne McNally:strap the google doorbell to him keep an eye

37:33Vogue Williams:T-door that's what everyone calls him over here all his cousins T-door T-door

37:41Joanne McNally:yeah cause that's his actual name

37:47Joanne McNally:that's it for this week thanks for listening to our Halloween special erm

37:52Vogue Williams:we'll see you next week so scary

37:54Joanne McNally:it was freaky it was spooky as fuck let's face it

37:57Vogue Williams:I spent 45 minutes reading scary ghost stories on Reddit today and on Esquire I have them all up here ready to go and we got through none of them do you know why because you're obsessed with David Harbour and Lily Allen that's why

38:11Joanne McNally:well I'm sorry but what's scary

38:13Vogue Williams:he's in Stranger Things that's a spooky show I'll never get that 45 minutes back they weren't even that scary most of them that I read. I wasn't scared at all. And I'm, I would say,

38:25Joanne McNally:what would I say? I am

38:28Vogue Williams:problematic.

38:29Joanne McNally:I am problematically obsessed with adultery. And I'm sorry, Vogue, you know that about me.

38:35Vogue Williams:Okay, goddammit.

38:38Joanne McNally:Bye everyone.

38:44This has been a Global Player original production.