BLISS

9:10Vogue Williams:You were just a silhouette, mate. I've no idea what you were wearing. And to be absolutely honest, I didn't dwell. I didn't stick around and have a good look. I was just like, oh, God, I've got to download the files. Don't make any noise because I'll wake her up. and then

9:24Joanne McNally:I can't believe I did that again I cannot believe I did that again like Joe like obviously we have a professional working relationship and we do our best to keep it that way

9:34Vogue Williams:and this is a breach of that

9:36Joanne McNally:it's a breach and do you know what Joe it's my fault I'm sorry because I'm basically I don't know like sex calming you against your will and I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't consent to it

9:47Vogue Williams:you're right I didn't you didn't consent and I'm sorry Joe I did that to Briley this week Who does my vlog for me I was filming Call it, no sorry, sorry

9:58Joanne McNally:Finger up, call it what it's called

10:02Vogue Williams:I was doing my vlog

10:04Joanne McNally:Thank you

10:04Vogue Williams:I was doing my vlog this week Briley who does it for me, she edits it for me I basically, I send her all the footage And so I'd been recording something in the bathroom And Spenny goes, oh And I was like, Spenny, were you in shot there? And he was like, no, no, no, I don't think I was in shot Anyway Briley mailed me the other day And she's like I nearly spat my T8 I just got a full frontal spen I was like Briley's a lesbian She doesn't like men

10:31Joanne McNally:That's worse actually

10:32Vogue Williams:That's worse

10:35Joanne McNally:I know she couldn't even get a cheap kick Out of it Don't sue me Jo imagine I had a sex life How embarrassing this would have been You're so lucky I'm an incel

10:46Vogue Williams:I have the footage I'll send it to you Please do, will you? It seems like you're doing alright with your laptop on your own there.

10:53Joanne McNally:I'll stick someone else's head on him in AI. I'll do it in post.

10:57Vogue Williams:Yeah, and maybe give him a little trim as well while you're on it in AI. I had a...

11:08Joanne McNally:I'll make it longer like Pinocchio's nose. Add girth, add length. Thank you. Listen, I've said it before. I said it before.

11:22Joanne McNally:What if I added Vogue's face to Spencer's naked body? What would that do?

11:32Joanne McNally:That's my vibrator.

11:39Joanne McNally:So, Vogue, as you know, I had said that I was going to get a tattoo. Do you know, I'm in a stage in my life, if I'm going to be honest and a bit whimsy about it where I'm 42. I feel like I procrastinate a lot in my life. So I'm like, oh, I'll do that. I'll do that eventually. I'll do that eventually. I work a lot. I don't make a lot of time for myself. Except for the wine and the chicken crisps, which like isn't, you know, like self-fulfilling as such. Obviously, I make a big...

12:09Vogue Williams:Chicken crisps are a new thing, by the way. You've gone really Australian there. I've never seen you eat a chicken crisps.

12:14Joanne McNally:Well, they don't have them and my two favourite things in life are chicken and crisps. So I've actually asked, I've actually rang down to reception and asked them to remove all the bags of chicken crisps from the room because they keep, in Melbourne as well, they restock. Restock. Restock.

12:28Vogue Williams:Okay, so you thought that you procrastinated too much about loads of things. So with the tattoo, you thought, you know what, I've thought about this for 4.5 seconds. There's no more time to procrastinate. I am. Oh, it's still there. Show me it. Show me it.

12:40Joanne McNally:It's still there. Yes, because it's attached. It's not.

12:44Vogue Williams:You need to stand on the chair so we can see it.

12:47Joanne McNally:Imagine it was just because, do you remember when we were kids you'd get little transfers of Garbage Pail Kids and stuff and you'd stick them on. Do you remember this, Jo? I remember one summer I was covered in Bross transfers.

12:57Vogue Williams:Yeah.

12:57Joanne McNally:Do you remember Bross? Jo, you're a little younger than us. Yeah, I know who Bross are

13:01Vogue Williams:but they are before my time.

13:03Joanne McNally:Cabbage Patch dolls, Barbie, and you'd transfer them on. But I wanted it to have for ages. I like, anyway, so, and obviously my tour manager, Kylie, Valka you know because she tour managered Ghosted when we were in Australia as well and she tour managered she tour managers me in the UK and she is like covered head to toe I mean there is not an inch of her body I'd say the only partner body that's not tatted is potentially her I don't know like labia like everything else is and it's I love it I fucking love it I've always been attracted to tats I fucking love them but because I have such a short attention span I was like there's nothing I can think to get do you know that I'd care about or whatever.

13:45Joanne McNally:Anyway, Kylie has this stunning tattoo bliss written across her leg and I've been looking at it for two years and we talk about it all the time. And Vogue, as you know, and Jo, as you know, I get a little overwhelmed at times. Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. Like nothing, nothing mad. I'm not going to be sectioned or anything. But I do get a little overwhelmed and me and Kylie would talk about the philosophy of like engaging in the bliss and just like calming down and because I don't, I'll never meditate. I couldn't give a fuck. I went to one sound, I went to one of these classes once where they play sound bowls.

14:14Vogue Williams:Oh yeah, yeah. With cacao and all that kind of stuff.

14:17Joanne McNally:There was no cacao but there was like a big drum thing. Do you know one of those? What are they called, Joe? When they bang? What are they called? The singing bowl. No, the bigger thing. Huge big brass yoke. Gone. On its own. Gone. Good man. I went to a gone class thing and at 20 minutes in I was like, no, I need to leave immediately. Anyway, so we've been discussing the philosophy of the bliss thing. Blah, blah, blah. Want to skip a few. Went and got the tattoo. But I think because I'd spoken about it, I think people thought when I talked about getting tattooed that I was going to get like a kind of a star on my wrist, or something, you know, like something kind of cutesy.

14:53Joanne McNally:Whereas it's a little bit of a statement piece. Well, well, well. Now, I understand there was a parasocial relationship when you do a podcast. And that's why we do the Pod Vogue. And that's why the pod has done us great stead for our careers. Because we talk about our lives and we mine our personal lives and all that stuff. When I say the commentary, now, in the same breath, I do understand when you put content online, you're opening yourself up to commentary. Like, I get it. Like, you know, that's kind of the point of the internet. You'd swear I got a fascist logo on my neck. Ugh, disgusting.

15:33Joanne McNally:How could you? Sick. The big one was, wait till Vogue sees this. Wait till your mother sees this. I was like, girls, I am 42 years of age I woke up and thought someone had died

15:46Vogue Williams:I literally woke up I was like what the fuck has happened because I'm five hours behind but Bridie had obviously posted for me during the night and I was like what has happened here and then I was like and then I was like I should take this

16:01Joanne McNally:What did pass in? She's not thrilled I'll be honest She's not thrilled but again we need the whole conversation no no no no because it was it was sticky but I was like do you know what like I'm I'm 42 years of age I work you know I'm entitled to graffiti and sabotage my life if I so want and I love it but like I say you'd swear I'd gotten I cannot explain and and also tattoos they're so personal anyway Jo do you want to see it

16:38Vogue Williams:yeah stand on the chair let's see it

16:40Joanne McNally:yeah come on and this is only the start wait till you see what I'm about to do to my ass cheeks

16:48Joanne McNally:there we are yeah we can see it yeah we got that so here it is it's a philosophy because the Prozac's not working as much anymore so I said I needed something else to focus on I want 60mg of Prozac and it's not really working so I either go to 80 and become comatosed or I get a tattoo. I mean,

17:11Vogue Williams:well, do you know what? You can't miss it. That is for sure. That's there.

17:16Joanne McNally:Vogue, you're so funny. Do you know what this is? You're like when my mother comes to my shows and I'm like, did you like it, mum? And she goes, do you know what? Sure, I couldn't do a thing. And I liked your costume.

17:29Vogue Williams:Your costume. I like your jumper too today. It's very nice. Yeah. I think tattoos are very personal. They are personal to what you want and what you like. And if you're the one looking at it all the time, you're the one that needs to like it. I'm not a mad tattoo person, as you know. I've never been a mad tattoo person.

17:49Joanne McNally:I'm in my 40s. I'm not going to call it a midlife crisis because I think that's reductive. But something happens, and Avogue, you know, you're now in the same bracket as me, where you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I could literally have seven years left of my life. I don't know when I'm going to go. I want to fuck it up, just start living.

18:06Vogue Williams:Well we certainly won't

18:06Joanne McNally:fucking lose you now Also Did you have a bliss tattoo above me? Do you know do you know what's so funny like we are so I feel like we're such frigid vanilla women like there's there's friends of mine who were getting tromps down for 12 years

18:18Vogue Williams:Excuse me Oh

18:19Joanne McNally:She didn't like that She didn't like that

18:21Vogue Williams:She didn't like that It's so funny because Joanne went and got a big massive tattoo for her midlife crisis I was literally looking Sorry No

18:29Joanne McNally:not midlife crisis awareness

18:33Vogue Williams:Midlife awareness

18:33Joanne McNally:Midlife awareness I was looking

18:35Vogue Williams:I was looking at buying this blow puffer thing yesterday that's really good for your breathing and you can practice your breathing technique and it's good for sleep and anxiety we are on opposite ends of the scale I'll be, what's that called? What's that called when people do mad shit to be healthy? Biohacking

18:54Joanne McNally:Biohacker, yeah like Brian Johnson yeah, you'll be selling your neon pink supplements or whatever, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah but I so obviously also Vogue I wanted to say since I got to Australia like when I say we've really missed out because we haven't been in communication much because obviously we're on such different time zones but I've been doing there's been a lot of sleep chat and I was like Vogue would love I know I'm sorry my circadian rhythm because I went from who have you been talking to? I've been going through multiple time zones of late I don't know my arts from my elbow but I was like Vogue would love this chat because I was very much invested in sleep chat how much I was getting, how much of it was good, how much of it was drink-related on planes, blah, blah, blah.

19:41Joanne McNally:Anyway, that aside, Vogue, I decided to do up a list. I have two things to say. One, I've done a list of the worst tattoos in the world of all celebrities. Will I do that now? Well, can I get a couple? Well, you know, we both know. Ben Affleck. Yes. And now that I have been on the receiving end, I am now very much Team Ben. I understand why he has a phoenix rising out of his arse. I get it.

20:07Vogue Williams:How many comments are we talking here? Did you just get hundreds?

20:12Joanne McNally:Do you know that I was... There was girls that I... Do you know the way in your DMs you kind of... Some women like to kind of reply... You reply to you on the regular. And you're not like... You don't know them. It's all the parasocial thing. But a couple of them came into me really hard. And I blocked them. Really?

20:28Vogue Williams:Well, I actually just blocked someone this morning. They said something about my kids. they've been saying like little sorry that's different

20:34Joanne McNally:no but they've been saying

20:35Vogue Williams:little slights almost that like I couldn't but like little bitchy comments and I was like no then they said something about my kids and I was like no you're gone no you're out you're out no you're out I need to know what people are like just really like going in on you

20:50Joanne McNally:hideous disgusting you're gonna regret this what the fuck is wrong with you you're obviously pissed out of your mind blah blah blah like just really going in and I was like girls I understand And we all comment on stuff that people do. But like, you'd swear I had Live, Laugh, Love tattooed across my neck.

21:10Vogue Williams:It is my leg. I think you might have gotten away with Live, Laugh, Love. I think it's just, I wasn't expecting the size, to be honest. And I thought you were doing like varsity letters or bubble letters.

21:21Joanne McNally:There's men who would slip into the DMs as such, who on paper have nothing going for them. In fact, they would have things going against them as such. Do you know what I mean? But if they have a tattoo, I don't know what it is. I don't know where it's come from. I find them insanely attractive. I would get up on a gremlin if he had a neck tat.

21:48Vogue Williams:You see, that's the thing. I don't like tattoos for myself personally. But I feel like if somebody has tattoos, and they don't tell us about this because he's desperate for one. Is he? Yeah, he wants a few. Aunt Dougie don't get on don't even get on to him but I like I like I like when somebody who has like there's loads you know what I mean like so they've like it's been going on for a while so it's not just like like they have like a man who has has quite a few that's why I don't mind I used to go I would have got tattoos on his hands and everything

22:21Joanne McNally:very attractive yeah

22:22Vogue Williams:oh

22:23Joanne McNally:delicious well I your man who did my tattoo I asked him I was like because we were chatting away he was saying he'd actually come to the he'd actually been to the a paina fall show in Melbourne. How long did it take,

22:32Vogue Williams:by the way?

22:33Joanne McNally:In and out, two hours.

22:35Vogue Williams:A painful?

22:36Joanne McNally:It was, it was at the start, well, I obviously took a load of salt pose before I went in, which I do every day anyway, but I was like, take extra salt pose because you're getting a tat. And then it was at the start because he was like, oh God, you're like, you're kind of really holding it together. And I was like, yeah, Grant. But then as it moves across the leg, kind of the inside of the leg is a little more sensitive. No, it's sore. Like, it's absolutely sore. Like, I can imagine like I was in and out whereas I was chatting to this male comic I know who's he's covered in tattoos and we're talking about it and he was saying that one of his one of his tattoos was it was five working days so he was in there in the morning and he left in the evening and like now that would be because I knew I was like it's not long do you know like it's going to come to an end whatever but no yeah it is sore but like I fucking cares life is sore do you know what I mean

23:27Vogue Williams:medically speaking please don't take solpidines every day please consult a medical professional before you take any medication

23:34Joanne McNally:I'm telling the pharmacy on you can't get caldine in Australia did you know that Jo? I'm sorry for you can you not? can you get in you can't take not over the counter

23:44Vogue Williams:no and you can't take you can't get melatonin unless you're over the age of 55 did you know that? what? not in Australia yeah in Australia unless you're over the age of 55 you're not allowed to have melatonin because I was so jet-lized when I got there. I don't ever remember it being that bad but then I remembered I used to go on the absolute sesh Wanda when I used to fly back there. So I'd get home and then I'd just stay up. So my body would be like, what's happening? And then it's the best thing, it's the best way to do it.

24:17Vogue Williams:You've got to tell us a bit about what Pat said. How did you tell her? Did she see it on the internet first? Did you tell her before you went in? Is she talking to you now?

24:25Joanne McNally:Yeah, she saw it on the internet first. I'll say to you what I said to my mother. If I am a 42-year-old woman, I am self-sufficient. I work my tits off. I have no husband. I have no children. I have nothing. I am allowed to get a tattoo. Like, can we all calm the fuck down? Was I pregnant at 12? No. Was I selling drugs at 18? No. Was I arrested for shoplifting in my 20s? Yes. But that was related to mental illness. Yeah. Therefore, I do feel I am entitled. Do you know what I think? When you're single with no kids, and obviously because me and my mother are very close, if I was married with kids, you'd have more autonomy in your life.

25:16Joanne McNally:But because I'm not, I feel like I still sit in this kind of child version, if you know what I mean. does that make sense Jo is nodding but his mic is off

25:26Vogue Williams:she still kind of feels you like she kind of still sees you as a child's child a little

25:30Joanne McNally:I think you if you don't if you were married with children then you're like undeniably adult if you're not you're kind of slightly still infantilised in a way do you know what I mean like a certain you're just she's like my kind of person like she's still my next of kin whereas I'm assuming you know you would choose one of your children as your next of kin because they're going to live longer it's a more sensible decision

25:54Vogue Williams:I should be your next of kin sorry just saying but I live in London instead of you so I would

25:59Joanne McNally:love that

26:00Vogue Williams:and I'll be the next figure if you're well

26:03Joanne McNally:you'd have my ashes turned into a stunning crustacean framed on the wall

26:06Vogue Williams:oh I'd take the skull the skull would be

26:09Joanne McNally:going out of me oh you'd turn me into a dresser so when I was in Morocco with the girls we were looking around at furniture and there was gorgeous piece of furniture and they were made from camel bone and then me and one of the girls Laura we were like oh my god like I didn't know you could make furniture out of bone. And I was like, oh my God, I want to be a side table. And then we spiraled into what furniture we would choose to be. Do you know? And I was like, I'd love to be a side table or a lamp, obviously, you know, I'm big into ceramics. So yeah, Vogue, imagine you, imagine you took my corpse and I will die first.

26:43Joanne McNally:We all know that. I'd say I have three years left. Imagine you took my corpse, skinned it off, gave it to a professional and turned me into either a coat hanger or a lamp.

26:54Vogue Williams:No, I'd have you something. You'd be part of place. A coat hanger. I wouldn't put you in the cupboard. Would you not? No, no, no. Sorry, no, no. You'd be part of place.

27:01Joanne McNally:No, sorry. A coat hanger in the hall. I'm not going in the cupboard. Oh, God, no. I might as well go out and earn.

27:07Vogue Williams:No, no, no. You're not going in the cupboard. I'll have you like property. Like you'll be in our like family area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or bunk beds. God damn it. You see, I should have kept Winston. I knew it. And it was only because you all told me everyone would think I'd be weird if I stuffed Winston. I could be petting that dog now If it wasn't for all of you

27:25Joanne McNally:Speaking of Winston So I did a list of the tattoos That if you were to get a tattoo Oh stop Also Can I just say I know I thought I have Winnie on the list A baby Winnie I think I think I think Our parents are like Kids go Fucking Bananas We've really kept our shit together We haven't done anything insane You know There's parents out there Are dealing with kids who are, like, have gone off the rails completely.

27:56Vogue Williams:But, you know, our parents didn't really know, like, come on, think about what we were getting up to. We were hardly Latter-day Saints.

28:04Joanne McNally:I know, I was like, Pat, it's where I got a dick tattooed in my forehead. Can we all just round it in, please?

28:10Vogue Williams:Do you remember that programme somewhere I already got the dictation? Do I what?

28:15Joanne McNally:I've been talking about it non-stop since I got here. every Australian I meet I'm like simmer high side ah

28:25Vogue Williams:she's a naughty girl with a with a

28:27Joanne McNally:with a

28:28Vogue Williams:with a

28:28Joanne McNally:with a with a with a with a with a with a Okay so here's what I thought that you Vogue if you were to get a tattoo

28:34Vogue Williams:You've got me on the turn with Winston already Stop Imagine a little if they could do a tiny whinny on my wrist

28:41Joanne McNally:and then I'd get my dad's signature Oh for fuck's sake Yeah you see this is the bollocks that we're talking about No Commit or don't commit

28:49Vogue Williams:And my granny's name.

28:51Joanne McNally:Your granny. Vogue, I've known you 60 years. I've never heard you once mention your granny.

28:57Vogue Williams:Okay, Marjorie. Marjorie.

29:00Joanne McNally:Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get Lurpak tattooed on my wrist. I'll get Lurpak. If we're going to go down the butter route.

29:09Vogue Williams:My auntie Sharon, my quadruple wick auntie Sharon will be listening to this and she will hear you. That is her mother, Marjorie. Not Marjorie. Well, I'm sorry, Sharon.

29:18Joanne McNally:I'm sorry. And God rest her soul. God rest her buttery soul. I've never heard of her.

29:27Joanne McNally:Here's what I thought. Ideas for Vogue's tat. Yeah. A lobster. Obviously.

29:35Vogue Williams:Obviously, yeah. Yeah. People really associate me to the lobster. I don't own the lobster. Like, I don't... I actually... Do you know what? I hate lobsters. I'm terrified of them. I would never touch a lobster. I don't even eat them because that's how scared I am of them.

29:50Joanne McNally:There's a giant lobster in your basement.

29:53Vogue Williams:I know, but he's dead.

29:55Joanne McNally:He can't get me. Okay, so from now on, the list will be rhetorical.

29:59Vogue Williams:Do you know what I used to say when I was going into the jungle? They were like, when I went into the jungle, they were like, what are you scared of? I was like, fish and crabs and lobsters. They were like, I think you'll be okay. But then I had those little crawfish

30:13Joanne McNally:and I was like, I don't want to be in with the crawfish. You're like Michelin restaurants, basically. anything high-end food and privilege. These are my biggest fears.

30:23Vogue Williams:Fluffy duck. Good service. Duck feather pillows.

30:27Joanne McNally:Good service terrifies me.

30:30Vogue Williams:Gerastash shampoo. Hate it.

30:35Joanne McNally:A daily curly blow dry. Please, no. Don't do it to me. I couldn't stand it. No facials. No facials. No facials. For fuck's sake. Not the polynucleotides under the eyes. No. Oh, God damn it.

30:55Vogue Williams:Get away from me with the vitamin C serum. I don't want it.

31:01Vogue Williams:Yes, they were all on my list.

31:03Joanne McNally:So here's what I thought if you were going to get a tattoo.

31:07Vogue Williams:Yeah.

31:07Joanne McNally:I thought a Fabergé egg between your breasts. No, I'm not. No, rhetorical, rhetorical, rhetorical. Not looking for a...

31:14Vogue Williams:Okay, I don't want a tattoo.

31:15Joanne McNally:A tanning mitt. Oh, that's a good one. On your inner thigh. I thought that would be kind of like a proper little tanning mitt.

31:22Vogue Williams:That would be a good one.

31:23Joanne McNally:A sleep mask.

31:24Vogue Williams:Oh yeah, I love a sleep mask. Yeah. With little earplugs beside it.

31:29Joanne McNally:A kettlebell. Yeah, yeah. Then I went really deep and I was like, she could tattoo abs on. But then I was like, no, Joanne, because she already has them. And then I thought Jo could do that. Oh, nice for Jo. I have a list for you, Jo, as well. Yeah. No, no, no. We know, Jo, we know.

31:46Vogue Williams:you have to get one of these you're a tack girl now you have to get one of these

31:50Joanne McNally:I'm a tack girl hardcore it's going to be a hardy next going to be on a hardy would not surprise me at all Joe for you go on two pecs

32:03Vogue Williams:thank you to go no no no sorry

32:05Joanne McNally:not to no sorry not to not to draw the pecs on sorry I meant on your pecs oh right I thought you just needed to more muscle no no no that wasn't there No Jo I don't want to I don't want to I don't think about your body Thank you Vogue on one pack Me on the other Face Tats Oh yeah Be fine Any preference to the side What would you think Or maybe One testicle each Me on one testicle Vogue on the other Less keen on that The packs The packs Listen they're just suggestions Yeah no

32:35Vogue Williams:These are just ideas And that's fine

32:37Joanne McNally:Speak to Josie See what she says But I think I think Josie would like it To be honest I think she'd be okay with it Do you think I think she

32:44Vogue Williams:Yeah

32:44Joanne McNally:Yeah yeah yeah We can run it by you Just

32:46Vogue Williams:Do you know what Run a buyer Run a buyer Just say the girls Run a buyer Because she won't know If you're talking about Your kids or us And then you come home And then you say Actually Yes Josie I ran this by you So I did say This was approved Yeah Yeah you can't be annoyed That's so funny

33:08Joanne McNally:This was signed off honey I told you I remember you said I was getting a girl on each arse cheek and you said gorgeous stunning love it

33:21Vogue Williams:there you go

33:23Joanne McNally:it'll be me and my sunglasses in Vogue on a re-scooter

33:26Vogue Williams:I have grown a holiday beard which is brilliant news

33:30Joanne McNally:oh go on

33:31Vogue Williams:yeah you know when you get the pigmentation mine was used to just be a tash and now it's gone full beard full beard and I asked Benny I said do you notice it and he goes no and then yesterday he was like actually yeah I was like oh no

33:48Joanne McNally:it's real bad so not hair as such no you've developed pigmentation because I'll tell you about you might see a couple of cuts on the side of my face I'll tell you about my

33:58Vogue Williams:dermaplaning

34:00Joanne McNally:I'll tell you about my actual beard in a second but come on

34:04Vogue Williams:so we're away and do you know what we have this thought that in like four or five years time we might move here for a year and do a school year here so the kids could you ever see those families that are always away on holidays and always doing stuff I knew it I knew it I knew she was going to do this we're coming you can come I'd love that because I've no friends here there's no friends imagine like when you're a kid getting to grow up somewhere like this even if it's for a year even though the kids were like no we'd absolutely hate that we're not leaving our school friends stop it's beautiful

34:36Joanne McNally:like a French baby little baguette baby stop they'd be wearing berets I don't wear berets over here.

34:47Vogue Williams:You're not in France. Where's your beret? We're going to the beach. Where's your beret?

34:52Joanne McNally:We're in the Caribbean. If you have the opportunity to have little tropical babies for a year and turn them into little mermaids, I would do it in a shot.

34:58Vogue Williams:Benny is, we're planning his 40th here. So he's going to do his 40th at a time when it's very quiet over here. So we're planning that as well.

35:08Joanne McNally:Your husband's not 40. Do you know that I was, sorry to interrupt you there, but I'm obviously not sorry enough to not do it I was I yeah no fine I hooked up with a guy a couple of times and recently he invited me to his 30th birthday no I was like 30th scusey say scusey say what I was like how are you not even 30 yet

35:32Vogue Williams:was he having a bouncy castle

35:37Vogue Williams:what do they do for their 30th now

35:39Joanne McNally:one of those plastic balls one of those plastic ball things what are they called?

35:46Vogue Williams:She's going to Gambados for his birthday children's play a play soft play

35:53Joanne McNally:I wrapped a purple dragon for the day, can't wait

35:56Vogue Williams:Oh my god, his 30th

35:58Joanne McNally:Now he's got an old soul blah blah blah, whatever but I was about to tease you about the fact that Spencer isn't 40th and I was like, Joanne, a bit of self-awareness wouldn't go straight there

36:12Vogue Williams:Spencer might not have turned 40 but it brings me great joy that he looks older than 40 because he is sitting out in that sun and I'm like what's that you're putting on your face still on the 6 oil he's on the 6 oil I don't know where he buys it where he finds it but he's whacking 6 oil all over his face have you seen the colour of him

36:30Joanne McNally:you know what lads are like we could have a 20 skincare routine and it would knock a week off us and lads would do nothing and wash their face with toilet duck and look 12. Like, it makes no sense. Look at Joe. Joe, do you even, like... He's a Nivea man.

36:48Vogue Williams:I guarantee... If you're going to ask me about any sort of routine, I don't have one. I put moisturizer on because my face falls off otherwise. But yes, it's Blue Nivea. I knew it would be Blue. There's no wrong with Blue Nivea, though. It's the cheapest one. It's the cheapest. It just does. Do you know what the...

37:04Joanne McNally:Do you know what, actually, so a dermatologist, Katrina Ryan, who me and Valgar hooked into like we are all God love her I'm texting her like all the time

37:13Vogue Williams:stop texting I need to text her about the beard Katrina

37:18Joanne McNally:she Katrina oh because I love skincare I love it it's like a it's like a hobby of mine I absolutely love it yeah me too and she's like less is more because I get sent a lot of skincare from brands and then you kind of end up using it because you're like I don't want to waste it because obviously I'm Irish in the famine and she's like Joanne less is more like stop stop putting all this shit in your face. She's like, CeraVe, keep it really fucking simple. The beard. Sorry, but can I just say, because you know the way I've lost my front hairline with the bleaching? So I'm on the Minoxidil. Oh God.

37:52Vogue Williams:No, what's Minoxidil?

37:53Joanne McNally:It's a prescribed tablet that helps the hair regrowth. And it is working. I've got little baby hairs, Jo.

38:02Vogue Williams:Do you honestly, do you rattle when you walk around? Here's another thing I think it's the fourth medication Or the fifth one you've mentioned in this episode

38:13Joanne McNally:How dare both of you How dare both of you I just want to be Sorry Sorry that I want to be mentally well and haired

38:21Vogue Williams:Minoxidil

38:22Joanne McNally:And haired Sorry that I So sorry Sorry that I want to be happy and have a hairline Sorry

38:28Vogue Williams:Riesling Does it Tell me right now Does it make your are you getting a beard from it? Or is that not just because we're in our 40s? Come on, everyone gets a beard in their 40s. Between yourself and myself,

38:41Joanne McNally:I had to shave my arms the other day.

38:45Vogue Williams:No! I want some of that, really? Imagine the hair goes over the head.

38:51Joanne McNally:I sat there, I was having my hair and makeup done for a job in Melbourne that I was doing and you're one hair and makeup artist. I was like, I need to do a bit of dermablading, which Jo, we've explained to you before, where dermablading is just a feminine term for shaving your face. We just don't like to call it that. And it's the optics. And I looked at my arms. She had a mirror in front of me. And I was like, oh, this is proper. I'm an animal. Like this is like there was my arms had a full blown beard. And so I dermabladed them. You're a mammal. I'm a mammal. Now, hold on. Am I a mammal, Jo?

39:27Joanne McNally:We're all mammals. Does a mammal not breathe underwater? water?

39:30Vogue Williams:Definitely not. Most certainly not. No. God, you're so condescending, Joseph. I actually know. Just you on, Sophie. No, I think you're thinking of fish. Don't you dare. Fish have no hair. Fish are very silky. You're like a silky little fish.

39:53Joanne McNally:Life is gonna life. Do you like that song? Life is life.

39:57Vogue Williams:Life. Oh you're one eating the toast

40:00Joanne McNally:The worst lyrics I've ever heard in my life No

40:02Vogue Williams:No it's not that song It's a really good song Opus I don't listen to music

40:08Joanne McNally:You're thinking of the song by Desiree Life Oh life Oh life

40:12Vogue Williams:Oh life

40:14Joanne McNally:Oh Jesus Of course I am That's one of my favourite songs It'll be If I ever got married

40:20Vogue Williams:You were just slacking it off a minute ago

40:21Joanne McNally:If I ever got married That'll be my first dance Put it on the record there Jo Do you know what

40:28Vogue Williams:Do you know what my first dance song was? And it's like, I'd never listen to it now anymore. Do you know? Because I wasn't invited. Go on. I didn't know you for the first one, for fuck's sake. Not really. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. You were invited. You just didn't get the invite because it went to your previous address. That's what had happened. Someone invited me to their wedding the other day, but they didn't invite me. They're like, I was going to invite you, but I didn't want to invite you because it might be awkward for you. And then I was like, listen. Was it your ex-husband? That's all.

40:57Vogue Williams:No, he's already, no, he did not invite me to his new wedding, weirdly. He's like, I'd love to see you, but I don't know how you're going to feel. I did find that incredibly rude that he didn't invite me, actually, and that is why we don't talk.

41:11Joanne McNally:You're like, I'd give you away, happily. Yeah. I'd be booting him down the aisle.

41:16Vogue Williams:Yeah.

41:17Joanne McNally:Get out of here, you. He's like, I was planning on going a little slower down the aisle here, like fucking throwing them down the aisle. Pulling them by the ear.

41:25Vogue Williams:Come on, we're off. is your problem now my friend we're so mean I used to think that though because he was obviously engaged loads of times before I was like those lucky bitches what do you mean because they never got married they just got engaged oh yeah yeah yeah

41:43Joanne McNally:but like do you know what I will say logistically that would have been great I do think there's something chic about getting divorced I do I don't know why when I meet women now who are divorced I feel like they've got stories I don't know I feel like you've got you've lived a life like I'm just still same shit different date you know like I haven't had the same kind of I don't know romantic trauma I don't know I just I kind of admire it I think it's chic I'd love to be divorced

42:11Vogue Williams:but now the problem is I'm no longer a divorcee which I liked the sound of now I'm just married which is a bit you know yeah I know well I mean for now for now

42:20Joanne McNally:for now

42:21Vogue Williams:I'll be a double D a double divorcee I will if Svenny keeps snoring over here fucking hell I can't like I actually Strap a tennis ball

42:30Joanne McNally:to his back Strap a tennis ball to his back That's what the old school women did They stitched a golf ball into his back So when he rolls on his back Because they don't snore on their front They're not arsed on their front

42:43Vogue Williams:He's snoring left right and centre honestly And when I'm like I'm spending snoring snoring He's like I was awake there I know I wasn't snoring And I'm like I'm not having a fight with you about the fact that you're actually snoring I'm sitting here listening to you I haven't just nudged you to say snoring. And now you're telling me that you were awake when you weren't because you were snoring.

43:02Joanne McNally:I've shared a bed with men on several occasions. Humble brag. And there is a moment in the night where like, could I stab him?

43:10Vogue Williams:Did you hear about the woman who won't leave her hospital bed? Go on. You know when you find these mad, mad stories online I'm like, is that real? I have. Please God tell me it's not AI but it seems very legit. There's a woman and she has been, she has overstayed her stay in hospital by six months they've tried to get her out and she refuses to leave and i was reading it and i was like fair play because do you ever get like do you ever feel like sick or really like if i'm really hung over i'm like i just i wish i could get a little nudge off a car and then i could get picked up and taken to the hospital and looked after for the day until i feel better it's a really nice place to be everyone's kind to you and like if you're not like a generally sick person you don't really get a lot out of it so if I ever go in I probably will take some time out in there for a couple of weeks at least

43:59Joanne McNally:Who doesn't want to be waited on hand and foot and a hospital's free well in Ireland so obviously in the States it's not but like it's stunning I think I'd love that there was a meme going around and every time I see it it makes me laugh every single time and I've seen it I'd say 12 to 15 times and it's someone kind of waking up and they're like oh when you hear the sound of the rain outside but you know you're cosy because you're in a mental asylum. Or no, it's like when you hear the rain outside but you know you don't have to go to work because you're in a mental asylum and then they go back to sleep smiling and I was like, oh, the joy.

44:29Joanne McNally:I will say, as someone who lost their mind completely, there is a great freedom to it. When you are, when people say you're forced to check out of the human race and the rat race, it's kind of glorious in a way. You're like, there is a freedom to it. I would recommend. Five stars. Have a breakdown.

44:49Vogue Williams:But removing yourself from the world in that kind of way, which is what I'm obviously doing, is a nice thing. That's the thing about doing the jungle and stuff. That was one of my favourite things about it. You're literally in there and you're back to basics and you've no phone. And the freedom of not having a phone and just being like, well, I can't get back to anyone. Nothing is my problem now. Somebody else is going to have to sort that out. It's just like, that will never happen again to me until I'm dead. It genuinely won't.

45:16Joanne McNally:I have a job coming up that I'm not allowed to have a phone on and I'm so stressed about it. Now I want to do the job, obviously, but the idea of not having a phone, I'm like, I don't.

45:27Vogue Williams:That is the least of your, you're going to, it will take you two days and then you'll forget. Are you sure?

45:33Joanne McNally:Because I assume I'll just be like swiping on a brick or something just to get kind of the finger motion of it just to like, I'm like, I don't understand.

45:40Vogue Williams:It's mad how quickly you'll forget. You just won't even care that you don't have it. No, and it's really, it's like, it's like what I'm saying into, well cacao ceremony it's very freeing oh yeah it's really nice now you do have that thing of like you know when you give up smoking and you kind of like yeah yeah yeah you're holding something to your mouth the whole time you have that because your phone's like always in your hand

46:03Joanne McNally:it's like a neutered dog have you ever seen a neutered dog try and shag something and then it kind of remembers halfway through it's got no nuts or whatever I don't know what they take out I don't know what the neutering system is

46:13Vogue Williams:well everybody there you have it the tattoo is real on stop stop sending Joanne mean messages because it's here to stay

46:22Joanne McNally:I'm over it now

46:23Vogue Williams:it's here to stay

46:23Joanne McNally:I will take a certain level of abuse from women that I have spoken to before but I kind of hit a wall with it all and I'm like stop now stop it stop it my own mother is troweling me I'm like I've had enough now

46:36Vogue Williams:I had to imagine how I felt I had to wait till the pod she got this done days ago I haven't been able to say a single word to her because I nearly asked you last night is it real and I was like no just

46:46Joanne McNally:sorry just to say Amanda Seafield has minge tattooed on her foot

46:52Vogue Williams:yeah but what size is that you're on it's probably a little minge

46:55Joanne McNally:yeah it's not it's not a huge minge I'll agree it's small enough it's discreet it's a discreet minge on her foot

47:01Vogue Williams:thank you thank you so much everyone for listening we will see you on the bonus next week

47:06Joanne McNally:bless out I need to start making I need to start making a thing of this saying so that it sounds like it has a meaning yeah so everyone yeah so it sounds like I've done something with thought Bless, guys. It means a lot to me.