Champagne At Joanne's

4:25Vogue Williams:and by celebrate she means have a bottle of champagne I don't know how else

4:30Joanne McNally:to celebrate that's all I know well it is it's actually

4:32Vogue Williams:I think it's like it's bad luck I have to have a sip by the way listeners and you're allowed to have a sip because it's bad luck not to toast a house

4:39Joanne McNally:well Bonnie Blue apparently is hoovering the shots into her and she's pregnant although I think that's a I'm assuming that's a press stunt she is pregnant

4:47Vogue Williams:she had a fake pregnancy congratulations

4:51Joanne McNally:to Joanne celebrating myself

4:53Vogue Williams:who's there you go You got so much

4:56Joanne McNally:You're a little bit of wine glasses You got me

4:57Vogue Williams:I know

4:59Joanne McNally:That's all you can have Or the baby will have a tiny head

5:01Vogue Williams:Just

5:03Joanne McNally:Jo are you pregnant with child Is your period late

5:06Vogue Williams:You can have a full glass Are you on the coil

5:10Joanne McNally:You can have a full glass

5:11Vogue Williams:I know somebody who was 48 And basically I know someone who was 48 And basically thought she was going through perimenopause I went and did blood tests on her Pregnant

5:22Joanne McNally:Well and spoiler alert if you're watching Amantalan series 2 spoiler spoiler I haven't watched it not all of it no no oh yeah go on Anne is Anne thinks she's going through the peri she's going through the menopause and she goes in it's one of the funniest scenes in Amantalan I have to say series 2 is really funny she's like yeah I've hot flushes foggy brain blah blah blah and she's like is it the menopause and the doctor said and you're pregnant and she faints it's one it's you know I love a bit of physical comedy yeah it's up there with Mr. Blobby I just I love Anne one of the funniest storylines in series 2 is Joanna Lumley who plays Amanda's mother yeah and I mean my god pour the champagne

6:01Vogue Williams:this is not right sorry sorry

6:03Joanne McNally:one of the storylines is that she can't that she's a really terrible driver and the visuals of her driving around London in a Mini Cooper banging into things it brings me endless joy and she's trying to get Amanda to take her points for her and all it's fucking so funny spoiler spoiler sorry Joanna Lumley yes please

6:22Vogue Williams:this is great let's come to Joanne's house more often

6:24Joanne McNally:I'm going to get a landscaper and I've started measuring I'm measuring for a bed I'm going to measure this time

6:28Vogue Williams:do you want me to measure for you because I just feel like you're okay yes do you want your present yes I'm going to get the rest Christmas I'm going to get the rest of the present because I know I know you're not going to have what you need for the present is it willpower what do I need you'll understand now they'll just sit there as ornaments oh my god I love it I was like the audio listener is a oh my god open the other one it is a neon salt and pepper mills

7:08Joanne McNally:shut up I know oh my god

7:14Vogue Williams:it's very you isn't it I love them and I'll get the rest because I know you're never going to go and buy salt or peppers to put in it.

7:21Joanne McNally:Do you have to get special salt and pepper?

7:23Vogue Williams:No, you just have to buy some and you just want.

7:25Joanne McNally:I have a bag of malt downstairs.

7:26Vogue Williams:Do you? No, but they have to be like, it has to be salt that you need to grind down.

7:31Joanne McNally:That's an exceptional present. Jo, I'm ready for yours. I saw them.

7:36Vogue Williams:It's in the post. Can I have your present? Soon, really soon. I didn't know I was coming today in fairness.

7:41Joanne McNally:You did be your mate at yesterday.

7:42Vogue Williams:Until yesterday evening, I didn't know. Everyone has a candle knocking around the house. And I've got your presents in the storage. Speaking of candles,

7:48Joanne McNally:well, I think I owe you a Christmas one from 2018, so we're fine. Let's call it quits. Let's call it quits. Speaking of candles, a friend of mine, Noelle, sent me a, again, I actually feel so bad when people move in. I need to start sending cards. I've had so many nice cards. I'm like, shit, I'm not doing that. Who's sending your cards? Well, like my mum and stuff. Yeah, I was thinking, only people over the age of 70 are sending cards. Well, my friend Noelle came over, she dropped a card in on a, what was it? It's a Loewe, what's that brand, Loewe? Loewe. Noelle, one of those. And it was a candle and I opened it and it was burnt it was burnt down to the wick.

8:19Joanne McNally:And I said Noelle this re-gifting I mean listen I'm a re-gifter the same as you but you can't be re-gifting shit you've used. There's a line there's a boundary.

8:29Vogue Williams:She maybe wanted you to have the packaging because it was noelle. She's like that's new

8:32Joanne McNally:I said Noelle don't kid it kidder. And she said it was new. So I was like oh my god I got tuna canned. Do you remember back do you remember that story back someone thought they were buying a watch and they bought a tuna and someone had taken the watch and sent, returned the box with a tuna in it. It was the same weight as the watch. Do you remember this, Jo?

8:49Vogue Williams:Was it to Amazon?

8:51Joanne McNally:Yeah, something like that.

8:52Vogue Williams:Well, Amazon, you can send stuff back to Amazon. Yeah. I mean, fair play. Whoever decides to send something back should really get a free product. But some people use like... I couldn't send it back. No. Some people use a whole product and then send it back and they're like, it just wasn't right. I'd love to like that. Or fill it up with something else. Like K18. I think they had a real problem with that on Amazon where people were using the K18 and refilling it with something else and sending it back and then it wasn't real K18. Wow. I know, but K18 is brilliant. It's really real. It's kind of spicy.

9:19Vogue Williams:I'm saying like we're doing a round again.

9:20Joanne McNally:Oh, for fuck's sake. Okay.

9:21Vogue Williams:Anyway, I got those. I was at the Chelsea Flower Show and I saw those and I was like, who is going to buy them? And then I thought, I am for Joanne. They're like, who'd buy those monstrosities?

9:33Joanne McNally:Oh, they had loads of them. They said loads of people would be into them. I absolutely love them and I'm going to use them both for salt because I don't eat pepper.

9:40Vogue Williams:Oh, you don't eat pepper. You're fat. people, guests you have over will eat pepper.

9:45Joanne McNally:You'd never put pepper on any food. I don't fuck with pepper at all now.

9:49Vogue Williams:Have you ever seen Spenny's and pepper? Do you eat pepper? That's remarkable.

9:52Joanne McNally:Do you eat pepper?

9:52Vogue Williams:I think most people do. Yeah, I eat pepper. Ground pepper? Eggs. No, no, no, no. You know I like my eggs.

9:58Joanne McNally:I like them rock hard like golf balls covered in salt.

10:01Vogue Williams:Do you know I have to make three types of eggs every morning? Do you know that that's my morning?

10:04Joanne McNally:When you move in across the road, because I'll be up.

10:07Vogue Williams:You can either have, you can have an egg in a cup, Scrambled eggs are an omelette. That's all you're getting. I'm not doing any more eggs.

10:14Joanne McNally:Do you know I had to hoover the driveway yesterday with my Henrietta Hoover? Because while I was away for work, well, Fox obviously got in a bag. Oh no. And there was eggshells everywhere, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I've no yard equipment because obviously I'm not a yarder.

10:30Vogue Williams:Let's wait a few days because I hope to fuck that was papped because the image of you hoovering your front driveway. She's really lost it now.

10:39Joanne McNally:I was out there with the Dyson but the Dyson wasn't charged then I dragged out Henry Essam. The Dyson went out there? Yeah. You mental. I actually, but I told you the message, I said you're coming over I said I'll hear you at the driveway. Sorry,

10:50Vogue Williams:please tell me about the paddling pool. Well,

10:53Joanne McNally:I'm actually, so I was obviously building myself up towards a hot girl summer because obviously it was a heat wave and I was kind of planning out the garden because you know, I have a garden out and I mentioned I have a garden. I'm glad you decided upon a gardener. I'm going to get a gardener and I ordered this stunning bright red heart shaped paddling pill. I took ages picking it out.

11:15Vogue Williams:Where'd you get it? Here. I don't know. Here. I don't know. I don't know.

11:24Joanne McNally:That place that we're not supposed to go to. But I mean, I had to get it from there because I needed to know when it was arriving because I was away for work. When I was thinking about it,

11:33Vogue Williams:I was like, where would you get one of them?

11:35Joanne McNally:And then I was like, oh, did you do that? That dirty bitch. Look, listen, what can I say?

11:41Vogue Williams:Joe hasn't even figured out what we're talking about, have you not? But before you say what was wrong with it or why it was wrong, can I ask the next question? Of course.

11:48Joanne McNally:Did you measure? No. No, Joe. But I had a good look at it. Oh, yeah, no. I looked through it with my eyes, up and down, up and down. You saw how many people fit into it? Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I saw there was a woman and a dog, I think. And I went, perfecto. That's exactly the size I made. And you knew where you were going to put it. And I knew where I was going to put it. in the garden. Yeah. Or maybe just as like a foot spa in the sitting room. I don't know. There's no rules. I live on my own now. Do I want? Anyway, order from...

12:19Vogue Williams:I'd love to know. Do drop a comment below if you know what she's saying. They're really unethical places.

12:24Joanne McNally:Yeah, it's not great, but they do have stuff like that. They do have stuff like that. And what's great about buying stuff on...

12:31Vogue Williams:You can buy another one if you got it from there. Because it was probably a fiver.

12:36Joanne McNally:It wasn't It was£100 It was£70 odd And then they charged me for the delivery You don't have Prime I don't know if I have Prime What I don't have Prime because I don't like to shop

12:52Vogue Williams:I have Prime We could have used mine I mean none of us like shopping But I remember I was offered a business account They're like

13:01Joanne McNally:Shut the fuck up because I was offered a business account For Deliveroo because I worded that so much Yeah they thought I was a business Are you fucking joking me I know I know

13:08Vogue Williams:I know

13:10Joanne McNally:I've since cleaned up My actual Anyway Pantapil arrived I was buzzing Like an elf fridge Yeah Still roasting We're up to date And I have a Box cutter now Oh Christ Because one of the lads Yeah Caroline Left it here And I'm having a ball I'm using it to butter bread It's really sharp

13:26Vogue Williams:You had my fellas From Caroline They're really nice They're really lovely But one of them left

13:29Joanne McNally:Their box cutter here And I am so happy with it I'm tweezing I did my whole bikini line With it it is so sharp I can't take it out of my hand I'm like Edward Scissorhands I'm like God forbid you'd offer it back God no no they know where it is but it's really really good and I'm slicing three things really really really well now I the paddling pill came in I'm buzzing with the excitement to the pill party and I threw the box cutter through the box to open the paddling pill and didn't I didn't I slice the paddling pill didn't I slice and dice it Send it back and say this was damaged. Well, I said it.

14:07Joanne McNally:I said it on Instagram. And in fairness, because obviously I tell all my needs to. And someone did say, would you not just send it back?

14:15Vogue Williams:No, that's dishonest. I was joking. You can't do that. They're the one people that you would take the piss out of. Yeah, but it goes back to the seller. So they take the piss out of the seller. Amazon never

14:25Joanne McNally:lose in the race. Fine. I don't want to upset the paddling pill community.

14:35Vogue Williams:I did get into a taxi there the other day, right? And you know when someone's, like, there was a young fella, like, young guy, kind of alright looking, but he was listening to a podcast and, like, the only lines I heard in it were like, oh, and when women are ready to mate.

14:48Joanne McNally:Oh, yeah.

14:49Vogue Williams:And I was like, what the hell is it? And then I was like, a big concern. Manosphere vibes. But he looked so normal.

14:55Joanne McNally:No, no, no. That doesn't necessarily, when someone says, the line when women are ready to mate isn't of its own. Like, the context, that in itself is okay I mean I mean it suggests consent he's saying ready to mate not just saying when you're ready to ride them

15:10Vogue Williams:I just found it such an odd conversation speaking of yes

15:14Joanne McNally:are you going to talk about Stephen Bartlett yes can I just say were I do you know like if you have a dinner party I used to like him he's the what happened to himself he's such a knob

15:27Vogue Williams:I think I think he might be alright in real life I think I've heard that he's kind of sound.

15:34Joanne McNally:So what we're talking about is Stephen Bars, he's only over one scandal where he basically said that maybe society should intervene with incels and because incels weren't going to get the ride and that should society intervene. And everyone was like, what are you suggesting? Some sort of giant unconsensual gangbang. Hands made a tale. Yeah, it was all that jazz. And we weren't too pleased about it. And now he's come out with, and bearing in mind, this annoyed me. Let me see what he said. Well, because it's,

16:00Vogue Williams:I find stuff like this, even as like. I know exactly what he said. I can quote you. A wellness person, like I enjoy looking at wellness. I enjoy getting involved in some of it. But some of it is such a load of bullshit that I absolutely cannot bear it. It's like, would you rather do like over wellness or enjoy your life a little bit and do a bit of wellness? Tip the toe in each barrel. So Stephen Bartlett said, let me get up my notes.

16:22Joanne McNally:He had three, Stephen Bartlett, she doesn't drink. He gave a drink at 30. He's now 33, I think. He said, He's only 33, is he? Yeah. Wasn't that because he drank

16:30Vogue Williams:three glasses of wine and it ruined him for a week. Yeah, he said, I drank three glasses of wine. Now I'm being toxic now. That's not good. I said it in a tone of voice.

16:38Joanne McNally:Well, that's what he said. Yeah, that's what he said. I drank three glasses of wine and it ruined my life. Now, obviously ruined my life. I was like, oh my God, ruined your life. You got pissed, sold an organ, hired a prostitute, tried to pray for it on Klarna. Like what happened? Like this is obviously like high-end self-destruction. Read out what he said. He said he had a drink

16:55Vogue Williams:and it ruined his life. His life. So he had three glasses of wine and it ruined his life because it made him not optimal for three days. First of all, he said that he wasn't able to podcast well, which I actually don't agree with because I think when you're hungover, you are on full fuego. I have my stride at three.

17:10Joanne McNally:I won't podcast today three drinks in me.

17:12Vogue Williams:I think you're at your funniest when you're hungover. I also think you're at your best two drinks in. Yeah. That's when a human is at his best. I get that people. A human is at his best. I do. If everyone went around two drinks in and they were all kept at that level, we'd all, there would be no war. Everyone would be getting

17:31Joanne McNally:on. If Putin had a little Prosecco in the morning, he wouldn't be half as angry. A little

17:37Vogue Williams:Prosecco, like maybe a little mimosa in the morning. Nigel Farage, a little

17:40Joanne McNally:Negroni in the morning.

17:42Vogue Williams:He wouldn't be such a melter. Nigel's gone overboard. I'd say Nigel's on drink five, probably. And when people get to drink five, it gets sloppy and messy and they talk shit. That's what's happened to Nigel.

17:53Joanne McNally:I know Micheál Martin has a pint of Guinness every morning. Does he?

17:56Vogue Williams:Yeah. Well, Micheál Martin was saying something. Micheál Martin allegedly whatever. Miel Martin was saying some mild shit last week. Was he? Yeah, he was blaming the housing crisis on immigrants. Oh, well then, there you go. Okay, so he obviously wasn't, he didn't have the point that day. No, there you go. He'd had four pints that day.

18:12Joanne McNally:Oh, he overstepped. Got it, got it. He went too far. Yeah.

18:16Vogue Williams:He was at two pints and he was making sense and then he got to four pints and then he started talking about the social housing. Yeah, okay. So that's what he did. Ah, Mijal. So there's a thing called being an optimization person because Stephen Bartlett's whoop said he was at something like I don't know 28 % recovery or something the amount of times I've seen a 1 % recovery on my whoop and I look at it and I'm like I know I'm dead today because I know what I did yesterday and I know I've had two out of sleep what does that mean a 1 % recovery means like you're pretty much because you are circling the hole of death oh right it means you're just you're lucky you woke up bitch it's like I've had someone got the resuscitator machine I was when I used to wear the whoop that's kind of why I stopped wearing the whoop because I was like this is too judgmental

18:59Joanne McNally:Yeah, and it is. Because I sometimes I'm like, do you know what? You don't need that much intel. You just don't. You can get kind of obsessed by it. And Stephen Barlow is an absolute, he's a whore to his whoop from what I can tell. I'd say he rides like when his whoop tells me he can ride. I'd say he's an early whoop investor. Oh! Oh my God, I'm so thick.

19:16Vogue Williams:Is he an early whoop investor?

19:17Joanne McNally:Google it, Joe.

19:18Vogue Williams:Now, I like the whoop. I will say I like the whoop. I'm not against whooping. I like the aura because I do like looking at the data. But what I will say it does sometimes is I wake up, stretch, feel great, look at my aura and it's like, oh, you're in an hour of sleep debt. And I'm like, great. I'm so thick.

19:34Joanne McNally:He's obviously invested in Whoop and that's why he's so Whooptastic. He's always banging on about it.

19:39Vogue Williams:But he does go on about human connection and stuff like that. But like, it just feels like he's only connecting to himself and not actually like living his life. There is a level of looking after your health and then there is a level of just like those people that will just, I know somebody and he's a really nice guy, but he has lived off those meal plan boxes for like 12 years. Literally 12 years. he has these meal plan boxes and I just think it's a sucker of joy of your life to be living off those boxes eating broccoli brown rice and chicken I kind of like those

20:10Joanne McNally:do you know what I will say obviously I'm very I'm very I'm a positive Pino person but I'm also aware some people don't drink they don't want to drink they think it's they know they understand that it's poison it's not good for them it's not about that it's just his general vibe he's just such he's so fucking dry and that's again I'm not saying you have to drink to be crack I know you don't I've loads of friends who don't drink and they're great crack it's do you know what I think bothers me about him he is preaching about his concerns about incel men in ventricelibate men who aren't socialising they're not meeting women

20:44Vogue Williams:he did invest in women I knew it I'm so thick oh god lucky bastard though if he got in there early if he got in there early it's like it's like getting him an apple early yeah

20:57Joanne McNally:I'm going to invest in those fluorescent salt and pepper holders. I think that's a fucking genius idea. That's Dragon's Den shit to me. Like, hello? I'll take 1 % of the business. Same level as we, for sure. But I'm like, if you're preaching, if you're concerned about the male loneliness epidemic and you're talking about men that, like, and suggesting I don't know, some, like, whatever guy I think he was on, what you're also doing is keeping men even more isolated. I'm not saying drinking is the key I'm not saying it's the code but what I am saying is if a man is just obsessed with dumping himself in ice not drinking sitting in optimising tracking his sleep tracking his all this shit you're not what sort of how is it what these men also you're preaching to incels they've never ridden anyone they need to be pissed for the first one you need

21:46Vogue Williams:yeah

21:46Joanne McNally:is that not fair a sober ride from an incel no wonder no one's riding them

21:51Vogue Williams:is that terrible no I'll tell you what he said I stopped drinking at 30 years old. When I was 31, I thought I'll have a drink again because now I could really A slash B test it. I had a year of not drinking and decided to have a drink again. It ruined three days of my life. I had a couple of glasses of wine. Was he spiked? Now, in fairness, if I had a couple of glasses of wine, I would get drunk, but it would not take three days away from my life. Sure, I have three drinks to go to the gym. It ruined three days of my life because of the domino effect it caused. I got worse sleep that night and then because I got worse sleep that night I ate more poorly the next day because my dopamine system or whatever.

22:29Vogue Williams:The cortisol system was all messed up. I podcasted worse. I didn't go to the gym that day or the day after because I felt really bad. I then slept worse and I could track all of this on my whoop that I invested in. I'm so silly. You went off quote just for that last bit there I feel like. Oh he didn't say on my whoop. Well no he didn't. He said I could track all of this on my whoop. Full stop. Brackets. Brackets. he has invested in Whoop. Of course. Of course you can track it on Whoop. We can all track it on Whoop or it doesn't mean that we don't want to live our lives and have a little bit of fun.

23:03Vogue Williams:And as you're saying, doesn't mean you have to doesn't mean you have to drink. I'm not drinking at the moment. Exactly. I'm still a great crack.

23:09Joanne McNally:It's not about the drinking. It's just about, he's just so, he's just such a melt. Do you know what he is? He's a crack vac. He's one of these people who walks into a room, he just sucks the crack out. He vacuum packs crack out of rooms. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I guess because I am a drinker. I don't know why And I also know He speaks in clickbait I know what he's doing He knows what he's doing I just feel Stephen Bartlett If you're listening Which I'm sure you are Go out Get fucked up Get pegged Lose your way Or don't get pegged Okay No get pegged Get pegged I think everyone Does get pegged Once in their life And I think that that's He just needs to let loose Are you talking about Men just getting pegged

23:45Vogue Williams:Or us getting pegged

23:46Joanne McNally:I know women who

23:47Vogue Williams:Who've been pegged I haven't been pegged Or are pegging Are pegging Yeah

23:52Joanne McNally:yeah

23:53Vogue Williams:it's just not for me I don't think

23:54Joanne McNally:Olivia my trainer was out with you the other day

23:56Vogue Williams:although I'd be good at it imagine me Peggy you'd be brilliant I would be good at it I know I would I already know

24:00Joanne McNally:yeah you wouldn't even need the strap on I know

24:08Vogue Williams:you just finally get to be who you really are your authentic self not what my newly fluffy vagina apparently Spencer said she's got a puffed vagina Spencer did you know what he said to me last night I walked into the room naked and he goes, see, less puffy.

24:26Joanne McNally:Sorry, are we going to go down the road to Spencer saying you have a puffy vagina? I do have a puffy vagina. In pregnancy,

24:32Vogue Williams:I've spoken about it. I think it's an important thing that women know. Izzy, did you know that you get a puffy vagina when you're pregnant? You do. It's an important thing to know because it will just end up there. And if one of my friends, one of my friends, Laura, there's loads of Laura's in the world, you won't know who she is, tell me about it. Maybe bleep out her name. Yeah, tell me about it. And I was like, what? And she goes, yeah, wait till you see when I was pregnant with Theodore. And I was like, that's not going to happen to me. And then I was like, oh my God, where are the larger knickers?

24:56Vogue Williams:Well, I will say in defense of the puffed vagina, women are getting, women are puffing. They're paying to get their vaginas puffed. But he wasn't even trying to be mean because I had said to him, I was like, oh my God, it's different. Like, and he was like, well, it is a little, it is a little puffier. It's puffier. And then yesterday he was like, it's less puffy today. And I was like, I think it's because the day that I showed it to you, I had done a whole cliff walk and it was, it had been out and about. They should have done a long day. Send this man back to the Antarctic.

25:21Joanne McNally:He needs to run this off. This is fucking ludicrous. This happens when he's home for any length of time. No, too much judgment, too much scrutiny on the girth of my vagina. No, I'm growing your child. While we're talking about this,

25:34Vogue Williams:they couldn't possibly make a headline out of this, could they? Because I just don't want my mom to do this. Well, if anything, you should be,

25:39Joanne McNally:if you've got like, they'll be like Vogue Williams, Sugar Puff McGee. Sugar Puff McGee.

25:46Vogue Williams:What's the Sugar Puff Monster called? what's his name Google Joe the honey monster

25:51Joanne McNally:the honey monster yeah what is it the labia monster that's what we'll call you I mean it's not that puffy I'm looking at it now it seems fine I'll show you it's not like I had to I'll show you you didn't have to come through the door sideways you were fine

26:08Vogue Williams:let's go for a long walk at the weekend and I'll show you after

26:17Joanne McNally:Funny shit drunk people have done Now these are the people who want you to dinner party Drunk man performed CPR on rubber dinghy after mistaking it for a dying person Classic Love him Bring him over Yeah fair play to him Florida man obviously Arrested for a drunken joyride on motorised shopping cart Standard I wouldn't even do that

26:36Vogue Williams:I'd do that sober Who hasn't brought a traffic cone home with him? Come on

26:41Joanne McNally:This was a motorized shopping cart. I know, yeah,

26:43Vogue Williams:but he's just up to the game.

26:45Joanne McNally:Yeah, yeah. Drunk man gets stuck in leprechaun cutout after celebrating 21st birthday. Now, that's not that. That's not that.

26:52Vogue Williams:I like that one.

26:53Joanne McNally:Intoxicated passenger tries to pay taxi fare with a live hamster. Now you're talking. That's good shit. That's good shit, Stephen. Stephen, optimize your social scene. Yeah. Man calls 911 to complain that the moon keeps following him. Now, that's shrooms. That's shrooms for sure. Woman wakes up after not out to discover she's accidentally adopted a tortoise. Did you see that woman?

27:15Vogue Williams:Did you ever see that video of this man had on his ring camera? And he was like, my wife said she was coming out for a couple of drinks for lunch. And there's a video of her getting out of the car. She walks around the back of the car and you don't really know what she's doing. And she stumbles the whole way around the back of the car, right back around to the front until she falls on her horse. And it's like, I didn't know what, I was like, is she dancing or what is she doing? She was literally just trying to stand up.

27:39Joanne McNally:Didn't they have to call an ambulance for her in the end? there was the ring camera footage of her heading out the door looking like gorgeous so like the curly blow dry the lashes were lashing and then cut to yeah a couple of drinks yeah blah blah blah cut to I mean look she's living her best life and like I say I know I've loads of friends who don't drink it's not about the drink side of it it's just the preachiness or the sanctimonious shite or the earnestness of him I don't know it's like he just he boils my blood Jesus Christ I hope you never bump into him

28:07Vogue Williams:maybe I fancy him I want to know what you feel about this Russell Crowe Did you see him with the autograph hunters?

28:14Joanne McNally:I saw, yeah Okay, yeah I saw he kind of had a bit of a wobble But then, like Did he have a wobble or was he just Was it just a melt that he did?

28:22Vogue Williams:So, Russell Crowe walked outside his hotel room And there was a big crowd of people waiting out there To meet Russell Crowe And he basically was like He started it, but he was really blunt at the start He was like, I'm going to get to everybody Everyone stay where you are Don't start swarming me I will get around and sign everyone's autographs But just don't swarm me because then I'm leaving and I'll come to you. And then everyone was like, God, Russell Crowe's such a dickhead. And I was like, well, no, he's not a dickhead because he's actually told them all that he is going to go to them. He just doesn't want a load of people swarming on top of him, shoving things in his face.

28:54Vogue Williams:At least he can now like have a system. There's a system of organization there. And also some people just...

29:00Joanne McNally:You're the same about as you park. You're like, girls, system.

29:04Vogue Williams:I will get to you. There's a system, girls. some people just collect autographs they don't actually want your autograph do you never get that like listen oh yeah no no I've had them yeah outside of global and stuff like that and you're like yeah I know yeah listen I don't know who you think you're selling mine to but like yeah you can have three no one's three Eustace autographs that no one's going to want I would never buy somebody's autograph although are they selling those autographs? yeah they do although my friend got Theodore there's a footballer

29:30Joanne McNally:just to explain sometimes there are autograph collectors I guess outside radio stations and stuff so if you're listed as going on a radio show they'll be there and they'll get a photo and you'll sign their book for them and they usually have nice printed out photos of you. For you to sign but then they will sell those. Are they selling them? Yeah. Well that's

29:47Vogue Williams:Not all autograph hunters I'd say. Some of them just genuinely love you. The rest of them are selling them on eBay and that's Yeah. I don't know how much I, Google there

29:56Joanne McNally:is there, there's no way anyone's buying either of our signatures. I don't want the shame of knowing that our signature.

30:00Vogue Williams:We could see who's getting the highest price couldn't we?

30:03Joanne McNally:Well ever since my wiki feet scandal when I got a 3.5 for the time I didn't manage to get a pedigure in time for making us.

30:11Vogue Williams:Are they up? Are they back up?

30:12Joanne McNally:I don't know what it is now.

30:14Vogue Williams:Anyway, so I personally think that Russell Crowe is right. What do you think?

30:17Joanne McNally:Yeah, I think he handled it really well. He knows security. He's bopping around. He was getting inundated. You're allowed to have a boundary. I mean, I don't have any

30:26Vogue Williams:but you're allowed to have them. I think that some autographs, like Theodore got given by our friend Varys, gave him an autographed t-shirt by a footballer called Declan Rice. Is that his name? Yeah, it is. And I just thought that's nice of him to do that for tea. You don't know Declan Rice? I don't know any footballers I'm learning. Is he not an Irish footballer? Well, he was eligible to play for Ireland but he decided to play for England. Come on now.

30:52Joanne McNally:Like, I mean, we're sitting here taking the soup. I'm sitting here in a house in London. Do you know what I mean? And like, I'm not exactly Michael T. Higgins myself.

31:00Vogue Williams:Give your money, give your payment

31:02Joanne McNally:back to the States. He gave his money back to the States. If you want to succeed and the game that you're playing isn't going to it's not going to happen for you in Ireland I think you are entitled to want to achieve.

31:12Vogue Williams:I have nothing bad to say about Declan Weiss anyway because he did it. He didn't know who he was. He did. Excuse me, I knew he was a footballer. Oh fine, fine, fine, fine. Who plays for Arsenal, does he? Oh my god, Joe, what? Okay, so. Joanne's feet have gone up. Few bits of news. Firstly, WikiFeet is now blocked on my work laptop. I think they're onto me. Because I've had to search it so many times for you.

31:32Joanne McNally:You're together my rating We had that agreement

31:34Vogue Williams:But not because I want to see your feet But while we're at work together Yeah but I was also asking you to

31:39Joanne McNally:Anonymously vote To get up to five

31:41Vogue Williams:I can't get to wiki feet anymore That's Not something I can do Okay But Autographs on eBay No

31:51Vogue Williams:Shut up Signed photos Who wants to go first Are we on there? Yeah Loads Loads Yeah loads Because no one's bought them

32:02Joanne McNally:They just keep building up They're in the two for one Are we in the two for one aisle?

32:08Vogue Williams:Okay so I'll go for the top entry on eBay For both of you Okay Vogue Vogue Williams signed photo Does it look like your signature? Little kiss on the end I'm nervous for you I'm nervous But I'm just happy I'm there to be honest I can't believe it Do you know that $39.99 our best offer

32:29Joanne McNally:Well that's not bad I'm kind of happy That's not bad Yeah But best offer I mean it could be

32:35Vogue Williams:It could be a pound Offer 30p And see if they take it It's£4 delivery as well

32:39Joanne McNally:Oh

32:40Vogue Williams:God Joanne

32:42Joanne McNally:Tell them you'll deliver it yourself With a good offer She'll deliver it herself She'll waddle up herself

32:50Vogue Williams:Weirdly Just for the cachet All of Joanne's Coming from Canada If you want Joanne You're paying more for delivery Because it's coming from Canada £7 delivery Yeah

32:59Joanne McNally:Okay

33:00Vogue Williams:what am I £35.67 or best offer

33:05Joanne McNally:Jan that's like really good for us they're around the same including delivery thank God imagine if one of us imagine I was like six grand you actually are you're on a exactly this is nice for us we're equals I just can't believe we're even on there we're equals I'm obviously firing all my agents but we're equals I'm firing everyone involved in my career but we are equals do you remember

33:27Vogue Williams:like going around like my kids go around Disney with little autograph books to get like Mickey Mouse's autograph and stuff like that.

33:33Joanne McNally:They love that. Someone was saying to me recently they were trying to buy a cardboard cutout of me and they were like you're not on there but they're like put Vogue's on there and I was like really? Shut up we can get a fuck off.

33:41Vogue Williams:Yeah.

33:41Joanne McNally:Google a cardboard cutout

33:43Vogue Williams:of me. You can get one of Spenny. Spenny has calendars and stuff like he did all that jazz. Oh my god I found stuff when I was clearing out the baby clothes. I did a calendar for Star, the newspaper for the Daily Star and there's pictures of me on this like two page calendar. It's so funny. It's beep beep like knickers but like underwear. Yeah but like sorry the bod is bodied. I remember being thrilled. Let people see it.

34:13Joanne McNally:Let people enjoy the body.

34:14Vogue Williams:I was thrilled at myself. Let people enjoy it.

34:23Joanne McNally:Two of the greatest comebacks of our generation. Robert Downey Jr.

34:27Vogue Williams:did he go away?

34:29Joanne McNally:Robert Downey Jr. had a very bag bad bag sorry Robert Downey Jr. had a very very bad drug problem and he was basically uninsurable and no film companies would work with him and then he got cast in Iron Man how he got cast I don't know I think he cleaned up

34:47Vogue Williams:his act by then

34:48Joanne McNally:he cleaned up his act and like people really like him but there was I'm sure there's some story behind it but it was like one of the biggest comebacks in Hollywood history and everyone was like oh my god Robert Downey Jr. is back second biggest comeback of our generation yeah Susan Boyle Susan a baddie Boyle Susan baddie Boyle she is I've never seen anyone make a Karen haircut work it is the bob is back the glasses she's wearing faux fur she's doing full length faux fur did you know she so obviously we all know Susan Boyle she won X Factor Britain's Got Talent Britain's Got Talent

35:19Vogue Williams:she won Britain's she was an amazing opera singer

35:21Joanne McNally:I'll never forget it she walked out on stage Britain's Got Talent and at the time we were very used to seeing kind of young it was like the One Direction era Little Mix all that stuff Gareth Gates and she came out she was an older auditioner and she was like you know dressed normal dressed doing her bits and bobs she wasn't maybe she wasn't giving star when she walked out I think it's fair to say that's a very good way of putting it she wasn't giving star she looked just normal she looked like a regular person and then she and there was kind of like a little bit of like kind of judgment in the audience you could hear them there was a little tone

35:58Vogue Williams:I feel like people weren't expecting very much when she walked out on stage exactly

36:03Joanne McNally:and then she opened her voice and she hammered them with I Dreamed a Dream and it was like Pavarotti here we go unbelievable and it was that great moment of like just you know you weren't expecting it wow what a performance then she went on to have a very decent career she was a household name but she is she's I don't know she's cut out for

36:25Vogue Williams:I don't think she wants it She doesn't want to be in the public eye all the time She lives like quite a quiet life Up in Scotland, where she was from Bought a nice house, she lives out her days there But she is kind of iconic She is so gorgeous Her voice is incredible, what she did was amazing And I think it's in the face of everybody not expecting it Big time Like everybody kind of had her pegged as Like just, she'll be a flash in the pan She'll be gone and she's kind of hung around And then I think people were like

36:52Joanne McNally:is she like equipped for fame is anyone I don't know anyway then she kind of went a little bit quiet one two skip a few yeah bang bang bang she strips her Instagram account she writes she does one update where she goes oh it's boiling out there new track up on the way everyone's like what the fuck promo photos of her dressed like I saw one person Anna Wintour so anyway she comes out we're like oh my god what's happening Susan Boyle is back she's wearing great shades she's got she's making the car and bob work Anna Wintour full blown she's rinsed the Instagram she's starting again dropping tracks hint hint nudge nudge we're like oh my god what's going on turns out it is a genius yeah ad for Cornetto she has released a remix of the Cornetto tune just one Cornetto which I like to sing you do and like I say it's a banger it turns into a bit of a dance a dance song I was thinking of going to Ibiza in August and now I'm like I don't know if I need to if I just get a sonnet in the garden

37:54Vogue Williams:Ibiza in August buying out Susan Boyle and get a new

37:57Joanne McNally:paddling pill

37:58Vogue Williams:she can't go to Ibiza in August yes I can well I don't need to now

38:01Joanne McNally:because Susan's bringing the tunes you will melt away how dare you I'm going to come off the antidepressants you went to Ibiza in August good luck

38:12Vogue Williams:John's going to be whimpering at my door

38:14Joanne McNally:for the next six months well I just think fair play Susan you're back in the game and it's an impressive we look forward to it what do we look forward to

38:21Vogue Williams:well I mean I look forward to the tune coming out she's gotten paid I'd say an absolute fortune from Crenet I hope she has of course she has are you mad yeah with that amount of marketing behind it she's deleted her whole Instagram

38:32Joanne McNally:it was very Taylor Swift coded I also think now that she's back couple hundred grand I'd say in this iconic way that now she'll actually be back also it's a great way if you're like I'm not arsed with the whole fame side of things I just want to live my life live a private life make a bit of cash yeah come out every five years drop a banger for Cornetto Solero Magnum whoever's going Michael Bublé does it why can't she her surname is Boyle it makes sense she's a summer brand yeah Michael Bublé is Christmas he defrosts comes out at Christmas she refrosts freezes comes out at summer I'm here for it also if she's do you know I can guarantee you now she'll be DJing next

39:11Vogue Williams:well do you know Martin Kemp makes an absolute fortune DJ he goes around sells out like all these places all over the country he does Friday, Saturday, Sunday every single week no way sells out massive gigs yeah

39:22Joanne McNally:I really want to learn how to DJ Jo I have signed up for a pottery class so maybe after that say goodbye that's it for me and me and live from my home it's got it's own door and a lock and it does have a front garden Jo you've seen the front garden it's an area

39:40Vogue Williams:it looks like someone who voted it

39:42Joanne McNally:I do thank you for suggesting that I actually did I did hear it earlier bye everyone the neighbours were looking at me and I was like hey

39:55Vogue Williams:this has been a Global Player original production