MTGM EXTRA! "A third person..."

9:12Vogue Williams:yeah younger than me but they just didn't ask any questions like just how to and not just to me to other people and I thought I wouldn't want to sit beside you at a dinner party because you know when people are like that and it's like you just have no interest in anybody else and it's actually it's not endearing in the slightest I'm not going to try and prize you open like a locked chest like fucking

9:34Joanne McNally:give me something here pal yeah I know it's called the art of conversation it's supposed to go two ways although I don't know if that's a generational thing I have been in the company of people where, and I'm not, I don't think I'm a greedy conversationalist. Like, I'm happy to contribute and talk about myself, but I'm also curious and I like asking other people. But I had a similar situation recently. I was like, oh my God, I'm literally down to asking you about your menstrual cycle and you haven't asked me a single question about myself. I know, it's crazy.

10:03Vogue Williams:It takes a while before you pick it up and then you're like, hang on a second. But then there are those people who flip the conversation on you the whole time because they just don't want to talk about them. selves at all and it's like okay come on now because I find

10:15Joanne McNally:conversation tiring as well do you know like you're you know

10:20Vogue Williams:are you tired now?

10:22Joanne McNally:I talk for a living that's so I'm happy to take the take the like put take the foot off the gas in the evening times when I'm with friends I'm like great

10:30Vogue Williams:you tell me about your life yeah to have a relax and I also think that people think our lives are more interesting than they are and so they're like oh my god tell me about that and I'm like well like tell me about that TV show and I'm like well it's a lot of it's a lot of hurry up and wait is what is how I would describe TV quick we're late we're late and then you're like oh why am I sitting here for three hours and doing nothing

10:50Joanne McNally:yeah my thing is that I find some friends they're like well I wouldn't ask because you're so busy I'm like I'm not that like yeah I'm busy but I'm busy and I'm on my own a lot I still want my friends to you know check in invite me to things

11:06Vogue Williams:yeah so you can politely oh my god it's adoring is it weird that I'm too scared to answer it at 20 past 8. Do you not have a Google doorbell? No. I'd have a drone. Like what? You should have security. 20 past 8. I'm not answering that. I'm too scared. Is that weird to be scared? Penny's away tonight. I'm not answering that. God knows who she could be. Okay, if I don't come back in two minutes, you know I'm dead. Oh my God, this is so scream-coded. I love it.

11:33Joanne McNally:Don't run upstairs. There's no way out.

11:35Vogue Williams:Yeah, they always run upstairs. Yeah. Don't lie to the room. Do you know what? I don't feel comfortable. I'm not doing it. I've decided. I'm sorry. I'm not. It's 20 past eight at night. There's no way. When I was growing up with Neil, if anyone rang our phone after nine o 'clock at night, they were getting it in the neck and I'd be there and I could hear it and I'd be like, Ashley! And I'd be like, oh no, Ashley's going dead tonight.

11:56Joanne McNally:Yeah. Poor Neil. He ran a very tight ship. My God. Well, I keep a giant kitchen knife, a Trisha's Transformation kitchen knife by the door in case any delivery drivers get a little fresh. I'll fucking stab them.

12:10Vogue Williams:Yeah. Last week we were talking about them coming in with a flaccid penis and now we're talking about this. Do you remember that? I can verify that.

12:22Joanne McNally:What can I say? I'm hot and cold. I'm hot and cold. It's up and down with me. Very on and off, John.

12:28Vogue Williams:Any poor delivery driver who heard last week's podcast and thought, well, you know, it could be on. Yeah. You're stabbed in the face.

12:36Joanne McNally:Yeah. I wouldn't go in the face in case there was a breakdown in communication. is often a language barrier. If they were maybe just trying to use the bathroom or something like that. But I would stab them right in the chest. I'm more scared of the ghosts

12:47Vogue Williams:anyway than the real people. So that's a real concern of mine. It's only because I've been showing these things on Instagram now. You know when your algorithm and it's like look at what was behind her and I'm like waiting for it. I won't do that shit obviously. It's too late for that business.

13:00Joanne McNally:I think it's cute to be spooked. But I'm definitely more fearful of real things.

13:10Vogue Williams:Yeah I know I should be I'm not I feel like a ghost doesn't need to ring your doorbell That's not a thing ghosts need to do You obviously aren't watching the things I'm watching on Instagram You don't have to buzz them all Why'd I buzz that spirit in I should have known Excuse me Are we forgetting poltergeists That have to be invited And sorry what are they called Demons Demons must be invited

13:39Joanne McNally:one of the scariest scenes ever was Poltergeist when your one's braces attacked her do you remember this Jo you're probably a bit young I've not seen Poltergeist her braces like came out all over like and it's every teenager's nightmare because like it was the you know braces are a little well ching ching do you remember that Bank of Ireland ad brace there ching ching no it doesn't matter anyway so her braces came out and like covered herself and locked her all in this like metal it was awful it was horrific it stuck out in my mind for a very very long time

14:16Vogue Williams:I used to have braces. Did you ever know me when I had a big gap in my front teeth? No, I don't think so. Rage and I ever got rid of it. My mum told me not to get rid of it. But I actually had to get the thing that attaches your lip to your gum. You know that bit of skin. I had to get half that removed so that my teeth would close. Yeah. Amber had a head brace and everything because she used to suck her thumb. So she was like, honestly, she was knocking people out with those teeth before Neil stepped in and got the old head brace couldn't afford it before

14:42Joanne McNally:sorry now I've heard enough do you know what I'm going to say it I'm ringing Tuzla Tuzla is the Irish social services no child deserves a head brace because they're sucking their thumb there is no sense to that

14:53Vogue Williams:do you know what the difference in Neil is I went to T's school because obviously they were minding T and Gigi for a while and all the teachers were like oh my god met your stepdad the nicest man and not just off one person my mum was like did anyone say anything about me I was like I'm sorry mum they were just all talking about Neil and I was like you didn't grow up with him he didn't used to be this man

15:12Joanne McNally:he's turned he's changed into a sorry a head brace that's like a scene out of misery you're one clubbing your man's feet in why would you need a head I stuck my thumb is Neil going to put me in a head brace John if he gets his hands on you yes I think he will well tell him I'll stab him with the knife that I have at the door with the delivery drivers if he comes anywhere near me

15:33Vogue Williams:was better than the alternative for me actually

15:39Joanne McNally:a head brace me mommy Joanne no she'll be going around like that fucking horror remember Jigsaw remember the little guy in the little tricycle

15:48Vogue Williams:cycling around oh please ah lads we have to stop with it this chat come on I'm a bit frightened I'm here on my own I already told you that stop it do you want to play a game now terrifying oh god will we do an email do you know I'm just about to open the email okay Three's Company Yeah Dear Vogue and Joanne Please For the love of God Don't say my name On the podcast Is this your mother? Helen Hiya This sounds like that God What What I got drunk Oh no it doesn't actually I Got drunk at my boyfriend Recently And we had a really nice night We had fun We were silly And we were honest with each other About our sex life We have great sex Oh But I confess to my boyfriend That I'd be up for opening The relationship to a third person in the bedroom.

16:38Vogue Williams:A bit of spice in the drawer. Okay, go on. Palladia. It was a gamble because I didn't know what he'd say. To my surprise, he said that he'd be up for it. Is this a strike? Sorry, is this a strike up

16:49Joanne McNally:on man-woman?

16:50Vogue Williams:Yeah, I think so. Okay. We had sex and went to sleep. Great. The next morning, he brought it up again and was clearly keen. But we hit a snag. He said he'd only wanted to be another woman. Of course. And I replied that I'd only pictured it being another man. We went back and forth, but basically just dropped the subject. So now what? Hi, Todd. There's an affair coming. I could possibly accept another man in the room. I couldn't. I couldn't accept another woman, but I wouldn't be 100 % against another man in the room.

17:21Joanne McNally:I'd take another woman just for the chats.

17:24Vogue Williams:Yeah, you see, that's what would happen. You'd end up just having drinks. This fucking idiot, huh? I wouldn't bother with him if I was here.

17:33Joanne McNally:Run now, honey. Run.

17:36Vogue Williams:Can I come with you? You'd be back in your bag. What would you be putting in there? The Delphine stuff again?

17:40Joanne McNally:I'd just be sitting there drinking Cosmos with him in the kitchen, holding hands there while he's pulling himself off in the bedroom.

17:47Vogue Williams:I'm worried if we do nothing about it that we're basically admitting that we are unfulfilled sexually. To be honest, I'm not that bothered in the cold light of day, but I'm worried now that I know what he wants and I don't think it's something I can give him. How do we fix it? I wish I had said nothing. Now, I don't think that that, like, he could be thinking the same as you. And it's also just like drunk chat, like, oh, like, wouldn't that be interesting to do? And then you might wake up the next day and you both have completely different ideas of what you want. Because, but like, fair enough to him as well.

18:20He obviously doesn't want to be wanking off another boy.

18:24Vogue Williams:And that's fine.

18:25Joanne McNally:You know the Latin saying, there's truth us in wineness, except it's in Latin. I just made it English there. I'll do a little Google Do a little Google there Jo Something something Are you writing a poetry book Joanne? That was really beautiful Thank you

18:40Vogue Williams:I can't take credit for it It's an old saying Of course When the truth comes out When you're drunk

18:46Joanne McNally:Yeah In vino veritas Exactly That's what I said Jo In truth is in wine That is what you said Yeah That does sound better And that is the truth But at the same time

18:55Vogue Williams:Jo don't let her privately Text you off this pod To take out the first thing That she said sometimes I listen back typing as we speak retractor of us I listen back and I'm like what the hell he cut out all the other bullshit she said

19:11Joanne McNally:let's keep things clear and highbrow

19:15Vogue Williams:yeah I said that on the first take

19:17Joanne McNally:yeah I said that on the first take but ultimately at the end of the day relationships are just this huge giant compromise aren't they so you've both decided okay we can't we'll have to agree to disagree on this one we can't come to a solution so I don't think it's a case that they're both going to go off and start sleeping around on each other I think they had a conversation they realised oh we're interested in the concept but not the details fine let's park it but also I would say I would think that she I think it's more there's more chance that she would come around to another woman than him coming around to another man I would think I could be wrong but you know what straight lads are like when they're most of them are gay anyway but they're so they're very concerned that the mask will slip

19:57Vogue Williams:listen if you get another bloke in there you might be the one that's getting ditched and they won't be drinking wine

20:02Joanne McNally:I genuinely think that that is a concern for a lot of men

20:06Vogue Williams:do you know what I find exciting about this conversation like Spenny and I are obviously in a monogamous relationship but who knows 20 years down the line just spat everywhere with the excitement who knows just salivated 20 years down the line you never know what you would like turn into now in fairness I probably would highly date that but like it's exciting to think that I think oh my god

20:28Joanne McNally:you'd never know I think most people accept now that in long-term relationships, sex, you know, changes, shifts, potentially dwindles, maybe comes back around, whatever it is.

20:38Vogue Williams:Do you know what I always find interesting? I wonder how much sex people are having a week in relationships. Like, in long-term relationships, how much sex are you having a week? Because I think that's such a triggering conversation for some people. I don't really like to say what I'm having, but it is an interesting question. So, Jo, how much sex are you having a week? I could honestly, you telegraphed it from five miles back. Yeah, there with that latch discretion.

21:01Joanne McNally:We could see that coming a mile off. There's a doctor called Dr. Karen Gurney, who I am a fan of. And she talks about, she's basically... What's she doing, Yokes? The sex doctor.

21:16Joanne McNally:Yeah, she studied the lost art of gurning. Yeah. She travels around with the prodigy exclusively now. doing TED talk oh god yeah in how to pass it off as a stroke for Lesterama she she talks about and I was only watching she did a really good podcast episode recently I was actually watching the whole thing on YouTube and she talks about this and the myth that is that there's this myth that you're supposed to be having the usual number is three times a week that that's kind of what's normal she's like nothing's normal everything's normal it's all to play for she's like some couples have sex twice a year and it's mind blowing she said you're better off having its quality over quantity for when it comes to kind of intimacy and connection and all that jazz.

21:57Joanne McNally:You could be having sex five times a week with your husband, but the chances are you're not like, I don't know. I'm just spouting what she was spouting. That you're not, it's not necessarily good sex. She's like, you're better off having irregular and better sex. She also said, which I found interesting as a single person, she was like, they call it sex drive, which she's like, it's actually not a fair description of it. She's like, sex is the one thing, the less you have the longer you go without it the less you care so it's different if you're like hungry or thirsty you'll seek out food and you'll seek out water sex you won't

22:29Vogue Williams:I yeah I would actually agree with that having been away for three weeks I didn't really think about it in the jungle at all because it just wasn't for me but one of our friends is convinced that I just have sex all the time like you sent me this voice and it's right away it was like how many times have you done it and he's like if there's one thing I know about you is that you've never had enough I'm like I think you've got the wrong idea about me here Who's sending you that?

22:51Joanne McNally:Who do you think? Neil. That man needs to mind his own business. But I would recommend Karen Gurney. She's really, really interesting. She's obviously like, you know, she knows what she's talking about. And yeah, it was like a very kind of realistic take on sex and kind of the ebbs and flows and... Yeah.

23:15Vogue Williams:Yeah. Well, I do think that you're right. I think it's just very different for very different people and people have different needs about how much they want it.

23:22Joanne McNally:And then there's nothing worse than feeling like you're obliged to have sex with someone and you're like, there's nothing worse. They're like, I fucking hate you now. Too much? Fine. I'll do it. But I'm not happy about it. Yeah, you're like, I'm not happy about it. And they're like, I don't care. You're like, wow, thank you. Thanks a million. Nice to know my desire matters. You know, they're like, I don't care. That's a lot of luck. I don't care just I'll still do it but I won't even like it I'll still do it we're not even talking at the moment we're in the middle of a massive fight it's like I don't care yeah okay fine that's why it's useful to get a third in because you're like look I'm not speaking to you but she'll do it she'll take the afternoon shift unless you guys

24:06Vogue Williams:have fallen out too yeah

24:08Joanne McNally:yeah yeah that's true actually

24:15Joanne McNally:that's it for the bonus thanks for listening and I do think we should put more time like Stephen Bartlett does. Every week he goes on the podcast and asks them to support him and it makes the podcast better and we don't do anything like that. You do, you say every six months. We actually do. You do it sometimes.

24:36Vogue Williams:You say we should do this and then we never do it again. I love the way Stephen,

24:39Joanne McNally:Stephen Bartlett's like Wikipedia. Does Wikipedia message you every now and again? They're like, please, we've no money. That's kind of what Steve Bartlett's like. It's like, Steve, I think you have a couple of quid.

24:48Vogue Williams:Oh, he's making some pretty good money in the potting game. Wikipedia, it does do that, actually. You're dead right. I'll tell you what, if you change my picture, if you change my picture, I'll consider it.

24:58Joanne McNally:Oh, yeah, fair. Fair, yeah. I set up a direct now because I do feel it is important. I'm an angel.

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25:42Vogue Williams:this has been a Global Player original production Fiction