MTGM EXTRA! "Do I let him get on with it?"

0:01This is a Global Player original podcast.

0:10Joanne McNally:Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with myself, Joanne McNally. And as people, general people know, some people won't, Vogue Williams is in La Jungle being a celebrity and chewing parrot dick. so we had to have as a last resort we had one of my best friends and companions and my other work wife Gareld Farley or as my captions call him when they pick up my transcription Garbage Barry Garbage Barry yeah and when I got the call this afternoon I was like 20 minutes ago this is clearly Joanne was supposed to ask somebody else yeah I was like The list of people who've rejected me is so long. There's a file of facts of rejections.

1:03Joanne McNally:And Garbage Barry, you are the last resort. Jokes, obviously. Garbage Barry knows how much I love him. And also we have Joe Ashiwell, who's always here, really, just kind of creeping around in the background. Hello. I feel I should say at this point that as we're recording this, we've seen none of Vogue. This is last Thursday when Vogue was about to be on the telly for the first time and we haven't seen her yet, so we don't know about the parrot dicks or anything else. No, I know. Jo, you're right. You do time travel well. I can't keep track, but I know she is. We record ahead of time for various reasons and I know she is officially in the jungle now, isn't she?

1:44Yeah, on the day that we're here now, we will see her on TV for the first time tonight.

1:49Joanne McNally:Yes. Yeah, sucking off a kangaroo. because she said when she was going in that even when she landed in Australia she had to say she was there for a role in Home and Away. And I was like, this is... Come on. I know. Like, like I said before, this isn't Jason Bourne's shit. It's a fucking TV show. Exactly. Like, this isn't Flight of the Navigator. Like, anyway. Did they ask her, like, did she have to have a role? Did they give her, like, a fake role? Did they tell her anything about Home and Away? A role. A role. Okay, so she was like a troublemaker from Yabby Creek. Yeah, she's a hot chick with abs.

2:30Joanne McNally:They were just like, oh yeah, any role. Do you know what I mean? A role. They're like, she's just in. And also, Gero, before we chat to you, because I do want to chat to you, because I just don't see enough of you. 24 hours a day, seven hours a week. Isn't enough for me? I'd like to get to know you more. I would like the listeners to know, Joe Adiwell is sucking on a can of beer. like the only way a father of 202 can you look deranged Jo what is going on also for context because it is last Thursday I always treat Thursday evenings like they're Fridays because actually I don't have a reason for that but I think it adds I think it adds a certain excitement to the week if you can treat Thursday like a Friday because it means Wednesday is a Thursday then yes and in fairness it is after 5 o 'clock You've gifted yourself a three day weekend like the Scandis.

3:23Joanne McNally:I have, yeah. Very wise. Garo, tell us, because obviously the listeners won't be familiar with you on this podcast. Any news? What are your star signs? My star signs Libra, I'm incredibly balanced. Oh God, I will say, sorry to cut across you Garbage Barry. I have never met a more balanced person in my life. he doesn't have a vice Garode can just sit in his own feelings. Joe you've never seen anything like it. Joe you're not even looking at us Because I've gone to find what Libra's got in store for today. I'm having a look at what we've got today. We can do your horoscope today. Go on hit us up Go on.

4:07Joanne McNally:Okay Okay. Because I actually had a therapy session today and it was one of those therapy sessions that I booked when I was having a spiral and an existential crisis but by the time the session came around, I was actually grand. So when I went in, I was kind of panicked about what I was going to talk to her about. And we ended up talking about astrology. And she has been kind of half convinced to start buying into it. Oh, no. When a therapist starts this stuff now, I'm like, ah, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'd like science, please. I'd like... Yeah. Yeah, the moderation of feelings. Not like, you know, there's three stars in your anus.

4:41Or... No. Or no feelings, as we like to discuss. Exactly. Go into the doctor and say, I've had a feeling and I don't want to have any more until the middle of next year. Yeah, yeah. I'm all field ahead of us. You could just facilitate that, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think this horoscope sort of, it might suit, actually. It sort of makes sense, I think. A new unity and purpose could create a more positive atmosphere regarding your career. Sorry, read that to me again. A new unity and purpose could create a more positive atmosphere regarding your career.

5:17Joanne McNally:Oh my God, Garoud, am I your purpose? You're picking up a different shift tonight. maybe it's like your dark force has now just moved to Africa. Or Australia. Australia. Very exciting. Recognition and increased income are just over the horizon. That's good. No. Don't be surprised if changes lie in store. You could end up in an entirely different profession. Oh, right. So it isn't necessarily comedy. Gerold, I did tell you to sell those Converse on Vintage. I said they didn't suit you. Yeah, you did. I wore red Converse on the abuse that I've received over those red Converse. And even when I mentioned them on that post that you put up of you very aggressively attacking me over them, people came into the DMs and were just like, I'm sorry now, but she has right to read Converse.

6:10Joanne McNally:I was like, excuse me, this is not up for discussion. they do look like I'll be totally honest and I was surprised at how honest I was with you about the red converse but I think we have the type we are quite honest with each other I would say you are quite honest with me yeah go on yeah with each other

6:31with each other you're very honest very loud

6:34Joanne McNally:when I when I when I was on the Prosecco tour Garoud was on the Prosecco tour with me and he went from driving a Mini Cooper at the time Mini Cooper yeah to driving a high age van to bring the the set around the set was a very deranged looking Baraka tube with the sage thing hanging out the top of it which looked great on week one but by week 60 billion it was hanging together like a piece of string but I was I had a lot on at the time and I was maybe over overdoing it on the hard seltzers and that's fair that is fair that's a fair assessment isn't it I was a bit green I was new to the game I was I was stressed I was probably a little overworked and I was I was hitting the I was hitting the hard seltzers but Garo did a very stern conversation with me at the time and he was like I just don't think I said I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna drink less seltzers and he went yeah I just don't think there's enough in the world to supply keep it going Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:41Joanne McNally:To facilitate you keeping going was your answer. And then one day we were on the way to Cork, I think. And I took a post-seltzer nap against a neck pillow, but on the car window. Would that be fair? Yeah, that is fair to say. Yeah. So if you were driving by, you would have seen like a little hole in the cushion with your nose and mouth pressed against the glass. On the side of the window. Yeah. But then I will say also, in my defence, Garoud, you did also nearly take the lid off the van driving through a bridge that was for a borrower. Yeah, it was like for a, it was a Polly Pocket Bridge. The van was three foot too high to go under this bridge.

8:21But I went for it. I was like, if we just go quickly. Yeah, he's an adventurous spirit. I will tell you about that van. Something I don't think I've ever told you, and I was thinking about this today, is I used to park a little loading dock right beside where I live. outside the shop. I think parking is a stretch.

8:36Joanne McNally:I think you would just throw it up and I'd roll out one door and then we'd hope for the best. And then they'd have to rearrange the flowers after. Yeah, I'd stop. I'd just stop it. Yeah, I wouldn't hurt. Yeah, you'd just stop. We'd stop and roll. Stop and roll. Yeah. And I used to park in this loading dock outside this electric shop near where I live and they got very annoyed at me one day when I was getting into the van. They were really annoyed. No. And they were saying like, you've been taking up the loading bay like for four days. And I was like. Yeah, because you've been loading. I'm loading.

9:03I'm loading. Yeah.

9:04Joanne McNally:I'm loading and I'm baying. And that's taken me four days. And he said, and this has been going on for quite a while. He said, this van has been parked here at night for months. And I was like, yeah, but nobody uses the loading bay at night. And he said, and it's not just the fact that you're taking up the loading bay. It's the broken wine glasses. Is that you as well? And I was like, it's nothing to do with me, but it was. It was. There was always a wine glass that I would be getting out of the van and just knock on. And I was like, oh, God, yeah. I was on the seltzers, Garoud. Not the wine. Well, they were venue wine glasses.

9:38Joanne McNally:Venue. Oh, yeah, fine. Yeah, I have no respect for them. No, none.

9:46Joanne McNally:I've put on a three arena. Very exciting. Yeah. How are we only getting to this now? Garoud is pretending, because no more than I had to pretend the Vogue was going to the jungle, Garoud knew that information, but Joe, you didn't. No, I didn't know that. That's big. When, when, when? it's going on so Peanophile 3 Arena in Dublin it's not till next December December 12th but it'll be on sale when this goes out and we're going to go we're going large we're going Kevin and Perry large yeah Groh to be there Groh's going to be on stage with me on the night I'm thinking full I could this could be my opportunity to fly I was just going to say that you were very keen to fly last time when you were doing Ghosted at the 3 Arena very keen very keen to fly But you have to learn how to do it.

10:33Joanne McNally:I was like, just throw me up and toss me around. The thing about flying at the Three Arena is that back in the day, the Three Arena was always too low to fly. Low to fly. It was a low roof. And as the legend goes, that when Beyonce came to Dublin, I think it was around 2010 or 2008, it's a good while ago, she wanted to fly and they were like, too low, too low, because she used to fly out over the audience. and she insisted on flying and somebody robbed her shoes. No! Yeah. Which is the most Dublin thing I've ever heard of. I mean, you can imagine that person just jumping and holding on. She wasn't flying really then.

11:20Joanne McNally:She was kind of just... She was levitating over the crest. Yeah, she was levitating. Yeah, she was slightly elevated. Yeah, exactly. What I do think is whilst it sort of makes sense for Beyonce to fly, lots of amazing songs, etc. You get to the climax of the show, she flies. Joe's like, you have to deserve to fly. I'm not saying you don't deserve it. I'm just sort of... No, you are. No, it's not about deserving. It's about how do you get into it? Because when you're Beyonce and you're singing a song and it's your most recognisable song, then it makes sense to fly. how are you going to get into the flying?

11:57What will you do that gets you into the flying?

12:00Joanne McNally:What's the bit of material? Oh, well, okay, so it's a little too... It'd want to be some gag. You're going to tell one of your old favourite gags. You'd want to be some finisher or a gag that you know isn't as strong. So when they're kind of deciding whether or not it's funny, you just start spinning through the air to kind of distract from the fact that the gag didn't work. I think that's maybe the strategy. Look, look at me. I have some material about drunk shopping that wasn't well reviewed. So maybe when I do that, I'll just start. While they're like, I didn't think that was that. Oh my God, she's in the air.

12:46Joanne McNally:I know you don't listen to the podcast because you don't support me in the same way as I don't support you. But on the bonus apps We read an email Now This is a big day for me Because You get to read the email Because I I'm already doing it I panic under Pressure of having to say Too many things in a row I will just say That with regard to Not listening to the pod I did have to start Listening to the pod Because I had a very strange experience I was in a Tesco's in Marion A while ago Like this would have been When we were on the last tour And a woman that I had no idea Who she was Came up to me And just went do you really travel with your own travel cowl?

13:23And I was just like I don't know where this was coming from I had no idea you'd spoken about it on the pod Like there was just so many Oh my god, yeah And I was just like What? And she was like And it took a while for her to explain where she'd heard it She was just being She probably wouldn't even remember Very sinister So I've had to start listening

13:46Joanne McNally:Geroad's one of those travellers who do you ever see these TikTok videos of women? Sorry, gross. Women. Who are like, oh God, who are in hotel rooms on their own. And they're like, here's how I stay safe in a hotel room. And they're basically like nailing the door shut with like, like it's so ridiculous to the point where the comments are like, why just stay home? Like if you feel that unsafe, They're building like a panic room in the hotel. So they feel safe in this like random hotel. And like, it's too much. That's the route. I like to be prepared for every eventuality. Oh my God. He has a tablet box.

14:34Joanne McNally:And we will get to the email, I promise. Which he's now giving me one. A tablet box, which is like a teeny tiny tablet box. But he has all the little, the listeners won't be able to see, but I'll show. Now this is one he made for me that's why all the stickers say illegal but he has a tablet box that you open and each little vessel Joe looks very concerned. Vessel he has like ibuprofen salpidine But we're on the road. For diarrhea Imodium Anyway and he has them all labelled and put in it is the most impressive thing ever. So anyway obviously he got me one and he has just labelled mine as beta blockers Prozac and the rest just go illegal, illegal, illegal, illegal, illegal.

15:20Did they all do the same thing? The illegal ones or do we have to sort of miscellaneous? All I will say, Joanne, is that some people I swallow first,

15:28Joanne McNally:ask questions later. There's a pink tablet in the bottom of a pencil case and I'm like, I don't know, sometimes if I'm anxious before a show, I'm like, I could take it. It could be a beta blocker but it could be a laxative. You wouldn't know. All I'm going to say is, Joanne, that some people are prepared for these eventualities. Yes. Like some people buy their medications from a chemist. Not everyone treats things with stuff they've bought on the dark web. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. No, that's a fair point. Garbage.

16:03Joanne McNally:It's a fair point. Fair point, absolutely. Now, okay, so we have an email. It's time. I'm excited. It's going to come out of my mouth. and then garbage. It's your job then to have an opinion on it. Okay. Hey girls and Joe. I've been thinking about writing in for a while and this week's bonus app has really given me the push. Please keep me in on as all my friends listen to this pod as all women should. Smiley face. That's very sweet. Thank you. My husband and I have only been married two years. However, I too, like the previous emailer, have found, oh. Oh. I don't know how far back this email is talking about because I recall us talking about this subject, but I don't know how recent it was.

16:51Joanne McNally:I too, like the previous emailer, have found messages on my husband's phone to a Thai masseuse. Uh-oh. I found a message which said, do you have half an hour now? Google didn't know.

17:14Joanne McNally:Googled the number found it was a Thai massage parlor and also found it on a men's forum. So I am under no illusion. It's probably worth saying not all Thai massage parlors, isn't it? Oh, big time. I've gone, these poor women. I've gone in for a Thai massage and on the door it's like, please keep your underpants on. Please, please, please. Like four pleases. Yeah. That's so gross. My question is, I kind of agreed with your comments. If it's not an affair and he loves me and our family, if it's just a handoff, do I just leave him to it? Oh, God. It does still make me upset and I feel really weird about the whole thing as we do have a decent sex life, so I don't understand where he would need to go.

18:03Joanne McNally:My biggest fear, though, is could this move on to something else as the years go by? Do they just offer handjobs or is it the full shebang? I find myself hating the days off he has on his own as I think he's there at the parlor. But we are about to try for another baby and I don't know whether to address it or just let him carry on. I feel like if I address it, even if we can make our way through it, it will put a hold on the whole next baby thing. And body clock wise, I don't have too much time to waste. What would you do? Oh, God. I know. I know. they've got a baby already she said yeah she said they're trying for another baby it's like do you take the occasional wank seriously is it just a functional ejaculation is it just a bit of letting off steam the way I suck my thumb or do we put a romantic element on it is there an emotional connection definitely not this is just this is just a little he is just this is a bit of mischief in his eyes.

19:14That's the way he sees it. He doesn't see it as a big deal. He doesn't see it as anything serious. Yeah, he's not going to tell his wife about it. But this is something very separate. I don't think this is going to turn into an affair or anything like that.

19:28Joanne McNally:No, yeah. If anything he is choosing the functional route rather than the emotional route. I do believe the more I engage with men like both of you and my other male friends I think I really understand men Yeah well I think this is just someone that just wants a bit of excitement. It's responsibility left right and centre and then he just goes and does this cheeky little thing every so often. That said it is a betrayal Yeah it is but like isn't like I think men have the ability Jo, you're not saying much here. I think men have the ability. Yeah, that's not an admission of anything. Well, it is kind of, actually.

20:14Joanne McNally:It absolutely is not. Silence is a response. Silence is a response. My therapist told me that. Silence is a response, Jo. There is absolutely no way, and I think this is probably a reflection of me as a male. I just, I couldn't go in and do that because it's not that I don't see the point. I get why people are getting functionally doing that. she hasn't chipped she's got one air pod in his bum bag she just follows him around all day I'd imagine these sorts of places are cash only and that's just a wild guess would you imagine that yeah I would imagine that no other information nothing at all just a gut instinct is it no just you know you don't want the tax you don't want the tax man poking around in those affairs I'll rev you a little rev wank Yeah you're not putting on the Barclays Let's face it You're not creating a chain I do think in my past I have accidentally been One of those creepy men at massages Because I got a massage When I was on holidays In Tenerife years ago And there was this little lady Who came in to give me the massage And she just pointed me at the towel And this little blindfold thing I thought it was a blindfold But it was actually the underpants You know those little strap with like it's like a little strap of cotton with like two elastic bands on it I thought it was a blindfold and she was like she indicated for me to take off my clothes and then she went out the room I stripped myself naked and then put this thing over my eyes no and then laid down on the thing bollock naked I've never had a massage before and then she came in and started screaming oh my god girl you're the problem very embarrassing you're the reason those signs are on the back of the door I know yeah it was just please please please I'm the fourth please oh no I know that men can fuck functionally and feelinglessly if that makes sense yeah yeah and I'm sure there's women who can do it as well I'm not one of those women I kind of ride people I like or if I ride them I like them after yeah the riding's a bit of a gateway drug for me it's like this worked out well yeah It's like you're in me now, you break your boy and

22:37Joanne McNally:what's the plan for the, what's our plan now? We're obviously, you're obviously mad about me, I'm mad about you. So it is confusing when I come up against those situations where you're like, oh, he just, it was just a functional ride for him. It's not like, you know, he doesn't like me. He doesn't like my character or personality or anything like that. But you're very evolved. Evolved or beaten down It's like Evolved or traumatised Yeah It could be It could be that I'm evolved Or it's that I've dealt with so many of these situations That I just accept it now for what it is So if my husband was Getting the odd tug off a masseuse In a parlour somewhere I'll be honest I'd probably do a drive-by and see what she looked like That's hands up, that's me being totally honest that's terrible isn't it but I would I want to see what I'm dealing with and if she was like super duper hot like fashion model super duper hot I would feel a little put out if she was a normal enough woman and he was just getting like a little tug just to relax himself I think I think I'd let it go until I had a drink and then obviously oh dear I'd go large yeah I'd store it all up and be like no no doesn't matter and then I'd wait for our anniversary or Valentine's Day or some day like that and I'd drink two bottles of Pino Psycho and then I'd go fucking mental yeah so that's my advice I don't think she should be putting herself into a situation where she's having another baby with this lad what?

24:20Joanne McNally:why? because he's getting a tug off of my sis yeah I just feel because there's a disconnect here like I think that for her like if this is happening right she and she feels feels this way about it I don't think she should be having another baby with him I think she's had a baby with him I think grand but I I don't think I think that she will frustrate herself because all through this pregnancy every time he you know he heads off she's like is he going is this what he's doing and I think being pregnant is difficult enough when your partner is on board I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you this now as a woman speaking to two lads okay and as a woman who has had many pregnant friends that is as a pregnant woman your fella getting a tug off a masseuse is the least of your fucking worries I know I'm telling you I know women who found that their husbands are having full blown affairs I know pregnant friends of mine who husbands have left them when the baby was two weeks old I know women who have chosen to have babies on their own because they're like I can't rely on this prick like there is so much like women being pregnant bring so much into the relationship that I mean I'd love to get Jo's take on it but obviously we won't because we'll get the official line but it shifts so much in the dynamic I think I think sometimes men then kind of see them as a mother rather than like a partner they want to ride and there's like there's so much going on there's so much chaos so like genuinely if I wanted to have a baby my partner nipping off for the odd wank down a massage parlor wouldn't stop me, to be honest.

26:02Joanne McNally:Okay, all right, okay. It really wouldn't. It really, really wouldn't. I'd be more concerned about like, is he going to help me raise the baby? I'd be like, okay, if we split up, at least I have someone else I can give the baby to at the weekends. Actually, this is great. Have a kid with them, then bring up the time of Suge wanking situation. Co-parent, get your life back. Are you saying basically like, instead of like shagging the nanny, you're shagging someone first and then they become the nanny. That's exactly what I'm saying. It's probably time to say that we don't offer professional advice, isn't it?