MTGM EXTRA! "Eight pages."

6:49Joanne McNally:I'd say they've offered him a membership already. They've probably given him mine.

6:52Vogue Williams:He's got the under 27s. That's why we only go on Sundays so that then Otto pays its half price. I need a bit of guidance. I don't know.

6:58Joanne McNally:You know this person very well. I don't want to clog up the whole bonus of me guessing because I'm not good. Rick!

7:04Vogue Williams:It was Rick. Do you want to? I was like, and I didn't even, I literally, because I was sitting there on my throne looking at him and I was like, Rick! Was he there with his golden child, Kevin Bridges? But the reason it was embarrassing is because I was having a meeting with Rick, your agent's other client, Joel Domit, and I should have invited Rick to that meeting, but I didn't because I just thought Rick couldn't be arsed. And Joanne, I felt bad because then we don't take Jo for lunch and they were taking Jo for lunch and 180 the stride. We only ever dangle sushi samba in front of him and it never happens.

7:36Vogue Williams:Jo doesn't eat, Vogue.

7:38Joanne McNally:He's a robot.

7:40Vogue Williams:We just charge him in the evening.

7:41Joanne McNally:you didn't come round

7:43Vogue Williams:to Joanne's house that night we had a party

7:45Joanne McNally:we charge him in the evening and sometimes we overcharge him that's why his hair sticks up

7:53Vogue Williams:oh god I just thought it was very serendipitous

7:58Joanne McNally:have you signed with Off the Curb is that what you're telling me

8:01Vogue Williams:I am now is that what you're telling me I would okay everyone I'm playing I'm starting in Vicar Street because I'm putting on my new comedy show I will see you there I met a woman this week and I thought I can't guess I'm done

8:19Joanne McNally:no no no no you don't you've never seen it Lorraine I don't know who was it what

8:27Vogue Williams:so Joanne I was in a very fancy hotel Natalie and Bruglia I can't I don't know I don't know Claire Danes came to my head for some reason there I'm like why Claire Danes she's exceptional go on she is so you are a fan you are a I would call you a hotelier at this point and I was in a very fancy what hotel are you in now I know you're in a hotel I'm a sommelier hotelier

8:52Joanne McNally:I would say at this stage why are we today we are do you know where I am folk and I've never stayed here before but I've I've I've frequented the bar I'm in the Herbert

9:06Vogue Williams:oh fancy pants

9:08Joanne McNally:I'm in the Herbert Park Hotel Now, Jo, you won't know this on account of being an Angloid, but the Herbert Park Hotel, it's a real rugby hotel. And I'm actually moving tomorrow because I'm going back into town.

9:19Vogue Williams:Just trying to score a rugby fella. Well, so I heard on the grapevine

9:25Joanne McNally:that the Irish rugby team are arriving tomorrow. Shut up. Yeah.

9:31Vogue Williams:Let me get that number. I think it's number 14 you want to look out for. I think.

9:35Joanne McNally:Well, I mean, I still think I still think Brian O'Driscoll's on the team. I need to kind of update myself he's a geriatric rugby player now I think he's just sitting in a wheelchair on the sidelines but this is a real rug it's allegedly whatever joke

9:49Vogue Williams:we're geriatrics too

9:51Joanne McNally:this is a real rugby hotel and yeah like I say five stars I fucking I love a hotel best chicken chicken salad to die for how's the breakfast huge glasses of white wine so I've been getting breakfast to the room and I've been getting five boiled eggs eight minutes each eight minutes five I eat three in the morning and then I put two in the fridge oh no and I keep the salt from the tray that's it yeah oh my god

10:22Vogue Williams:I'm a freak they would have they'd have unreal sauces in there I bet you the breakfast is amazing every morning

10:30Joanne McNally:your man arrives up with the tray and he unveils my eggs like a royal dinner a clask a clask yeah A clash. He unclashes my eggs and I look at him and I know because I know he's like what and I said it's protein I'm in my 40s now I'm trying to avoid muscle atrophy and then he's like thank you so much. Yeah I've had a ball and the staff have been when I say I'm like have I I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment but I am fucking one night I was like I think they're going to be going to give me a royal do you know those cross-armed royal what are they called? A curtsy? No not a curtsy.

11:09Joanne McNally:did they curse you I'm Kate Middleton I just had some work done no they they um what's that like the fuck what am I trying to say is it a piece of furniture no where the as kids like a sailor went to see

11:24Vogue Williams:see see to see no one of them

11:27Joanne McNally:stop both of you enough chiming in stop we're guessing games this is the guessing part everybody the game that we're where you cross your hands and then people sit the

11:41Vogue Williams:King's lift Oh King's chair King's chair Yeah Jesus Sorry That's the worst description I'm sorry

11:50Joanne McNally:I know I'm sorry Edit that down Jo Anyway Do not edit a second at that place

11:58Vogue Williams:I'm sick I listen back to the pod and I'm like God she got a nice edit there Edit it down there

12:03Joanne McNally:Yeah Pat came in and met me for lunch in the lobby it's been lovely I was like welcome to my home

12:10Vogue Williams:oh yeah maybe when I go back to Ireland I'll let the kids go back to Hoth and I'll just go into the Herbert Park I'm telling you

12:18Joanne McNally:I'm telling you I think in an alternative universe I was a hotelier

12:23Vogue Williams:you do love you love a hotel well I was going to tell you this story I was in I was in the Savoy yesterday that's when you just feel like you feel like shit on a shoe 10 grand a night I heard

12:37Joanne McNally:that's what I heard

12:37Vogue Williams:is it 10 quads I don't know I was only there for I was there for a speaking event for this a company called Must Have Ideas but do they have any? it is pretty listen or do you have to I know no she she has this she's really young and she's built this company and basically like like I was like please tell me you're 70 and you just look you just look really good because she's achieved so yeah fucking really but anyway I met a woman there right because I was doing some pictures of people after I spoke and she kind of hobbled over and I was looking at her her name was Lizette I actually got her name because it was such an amazing so she hobbled over and she goes I'm really sorry I only have one shoe I lost it at the train station and I was like sorry she sounds like a bit of me

13:27Vogue Williams:she had come from Kent or something on a train lost it at Kent station her train was delayed so she didn't have time to go. It fell in between the tracks and the train. So she didn't have time to go and buy a new pair of shoes before the event. And so she strutted into the Savoy.

13:44Joanne McNally:Hardcore.

13:45Vogue Williams:With one shoe. I went around at the event for like four hours just with one heel on. It was amazing.

13:53Joanne McNally:That's when you know you've made it. When you can walk into the Savoy and the butlers and all are like welcome Lady Lisette. And they're not going who's this scum with one fucking shoe on it. Yeah. That's when you know. When you When you can underdress in a super posh place and they leave you alone. That's the idea you've made it.

14:13Vogue Williams:Did you Google how much a room is there? Now I want to know. You can get an entry level room in the beginning of June for£1 ,400 for the night. Good night. Jesus Christ. For one night? Just the night, yeah. Entry level. I mean, that's not their language. Sorry, that's not what they're calling it. They have a word for it. but the cheapest you can... Oh, hang on, I've got something for a grand. Lovely. Superior Queen room, breakfast included,£1 ,031, please.

14:44Joanne McNally:It's probably like inferior cupboard room. Yeah. Broom closet.

14:50Vogue Williams:There will be mops by your head. Fine.

14:53Joanne McNally:We will come in occasionally and hang other people's jackets in your cupboard and then take them out as the night progresses. And you will have to hand us the tickets as we go.

15:05Vogue Williams:I'll take it

15:06Joanne McNally:I'll take it

15:15Vogue Williams:Oh my goodness Just I have to

15:19Joanne McNally:Oh God What is he dressed as What is he Is he a smurf What is he John he's Huggy Wuggy

15:26Vogue Williams:From YouTube

15:26Joanne McNally:Sorry of course Of course That was my next guess

15:29Vogue Williams:Show John and show quickly Oh my gosh oh my god

15:36Joanne McNally:who are you you're scaring your auntie Joanne sorry that mask is absolutely terrifying if this makes it to the podcast I want the listeners to know there's a horror film called Smile do you know this film oh yeah yeah yeah Theodore looks like your man

15:53Vogue Williams:he looks like a character from Smile I'll tell you what happened so Theodore World Book Day is coming up so I was like I know I was going to be really good and make costumes but I'm already making the Easter bonnets and I thought I can't do both. So Theodore was like I want to be Huggy Wuggy and this costume arrived and I was like Theodore you can't you can't go into school with that outfit like you're going to find the junior inference and he was like he started crying and stuff and then I had to buy the outfit anyway and then buy a different one that he can change into. Horrific it is.

16:23Joanne McNally:Motherland's my favourite show in the world. I love that. The show that I auditioned for and didn't get. Did you? yeah stop it I auditioned for loads of things I don't get anything

16:35Vogue Williams:oh my god you should definitely I would have loved you I would have loved you you should have done that

16:40Joanne McNally:I'm like yeah no I tried you should have taken that job why didn't you well no it was a very small it was like mother three at the gate I think I had one line or something but obviously I didn't get it but the episode where the main mom I never remember any of their names she turns up and she's realised it's book day and she takes off her own top and puts it on her and sends the kid in the stripy top and says she's like, where's Wally and stuff. I just, I hear a lot about book day and how much stress it brings parents. I mean,

17:07Vogue Williams:that's just, yeah, but you don't want to be, I personally find the Easter bonnet more stressful because you kind of can't, people will see your work because the parents come and watch the parade. So it's like, you can choke them into school at any old outfit, not Huggy Wuggy because it's too frightening. But like, people will see and judge your bonnets and I feel very stressed about that.

17:23Joanne McNally:I actually can't get out. That was like, I was triggered. That was like, he was dressed up as it. Do you remember? The clown.

17:30Vogue Williams:I have to go into school with the costume to show his teacher, to prove to him that he's not allowed to wear it on book day. I got him a ninja as well, because I'm like, just be the ninja. You can't be that.

17:40Joanne McNally:Do you remember it? We all float down here. Stop, says Brighton. Remember, and he's trying to drag the kid in.

17:46Vogue Williams:All of them at the same time.

17:47Joanne McNally:So basically, I was momentarily separated from my AirPods during the week, and then found them again, blah, blah, blah. And as you know, I kind of run through AirPods a lot, and I lose AirPods a lot. now in fairness in my defence some of them were like petrol station airpods do you know what I mean they're the bane of my life and I do think it's a con I think that why are they living independently of each other they should be attached in some way but the problem is with the string airpods you can't really train with them because anyway whatever look I need a huge pair of overhead ones like I'm going gun pigeon shooting

18:19Vogue Williams:the ones you're currently wearing yeah yeah

18:22Joanne McNally:or clay pigeon shooting do you know those like ducks you know that shooting ducks not that I would shoot a duck anyway I was banging on the internet of course on Instagram losing airpods blah blah blah woman messaged me and she's like my boyfriend lost one of his airpods we tracked it on find my phone and they were definitely in the house after an hour of pulling the place apart I got the idea for him to put on a podcast and the airpod he had in a separate room and walk around to see if we could hear sound from the missing room I think she means pod missing pod we could hear it in every room we were in and I realised that it was louder when I stood next to him I moved my ear around his body like a sniffer dog and it was coming from the hip area.

19:00Joanne McNally:However, his pajama bottoms had no pockets. I turned him around and pulled down his bottoms. Lo and behold, his air pond was in his arse crack. Whoa. Turns out he'd fallen asleep in bed listening to the dulcet tones of Alistair Campbell and Rory Stewart and Wood had fallen out in bed and then he'd lain on it and then put on his pajama bottoms when he got up to make coffee. As a point of clarification, he has disinfected said air pod and stopped listening to political podcasts in bed. at least he found it that's very lucky do you remember I dropped one down in an airplane toilet I still track it every now and again it's in Heathrow

19:36Vogue Williams:do you remember that time do you remember that time I lost one in the in the Rolls Royce that I cringely got down to glass remember and I never got a pack no yeah just the one gone and then I actually found this other set I'm not as bad as Joanne I'd like to win down but I have two of the same one like so I have two rights and I thought I'd found the other one I was like

19:56Joanne McNally:ah Just melt it. Melt it back the other way.

20:00Vogue Williams:I should just go back and say, sorry, actually, these came like this. And I was wondering because you could... Yeah.

20:08Vogue Williams:Girls, just heard the bonus and heard the letter about the men handwriting letters. This has happened to me recently. Okay, show off. I had no idea this was a thing. That's it.

20:19Joanne McNally:This could be a solicitor's letter. We don't know what it is. It could be something really dark.

20:24Vogue Williams:A six week stallion's romance situation ship, whatever you want to call it the guy was lovely but too full on. So I called it a draw All the best and all that. I will say he was a lovely man and I wished I was more into him. That's nearly the worst isn't it? Yeah I know A month or so later I get a handwritten letter from him. Eight pages long and he's talking about how he hopes it brings me some comfort. Okay Question mark. I'm fine Question mark. It was the strangest thing. It was stamped so I knew it wasn't hand delivered, thank goodness. Got it now, I didn't think to smell it to see if his aftershave was on it.

21:00Vogue Williams:I'm all for writing letters that I don't send to people. Get it off my chest, feel better, then destroy it, usually. Never actually send it. I'd probably be sectioned if some of those made it to the outside world. Anyway, all the letter did was to convince me that I did the right thing. And a bit like Joanne, whilst nothing bad actually happened with this fella, I did feel like the champ for a change love the pod keep doing what you're doing

21:23Joanne McNally:hold on like girls listen we love the emails but they're coming a little light these days on details what was in the letter what was in what did he say in the eight pages was he trying to get her back was he kind of confirming he didn't

21:40Vogue Williams:want to pursue it as well I think he was trying to make her feel yeah I think he was trying to make her feel better about the breakup as if he had initiated the breakup but actually she was like oh it's just the thing but in his own mind he's created fair play to him he's created a story where like he was the one doing the dumping

21:56Joanne McNally:yes he rewrote history but I just moving forward I wouldn't mind a little more detail on things or if you don't feel it's if you feel it's too much information in the podcast feel free to contact me directly in my DMs I would like a little more information there 8 pages I mean come on that's a lot like I don't really want to read the letter do you still have it? 8 pages This is a lot of handwritten messaging. I would like to know what was in it. Ask her for a follow-up, Jo. Email her back.

22:27Vogue Williams:The most romantic thing anyone ever did for me was this guy that I was sleeping with in... No, I don't want to say that in case my mum hears.

22:35Joanne McNally:I think your mum knows you've written people...

22:37Vogue Williams:She doesn't. I'm not editing any of this podcast. None of this is being edited.

22:42Joanne McNally:You've three children. Anyway, this guy that I was hanging out with in Scotland. Spending time with, yes.

22:49Vogue Williams:spending time with getting to know. I didn't fancy him anymore. I don't know if I ever fancied him. Anyway, he called to my dorm and I had told him once that I loved orange Smarties. Remember this? This is before they came in their own packet, I would like to say. So he dropped around this huge jar of orange Smarties for me. That's really sweet. Yeah, I know. I didn't get back on them, but I did eat the Smarties and I wrote about in my book and now I'm saying it here. So I appreciate that. Man, I don't remember your name, but I remember the Smarties.

23:18Joanne McNally:There's always a thin line. I think there's a very discreet line between fun, enjoyable, impressive romance, attractive romance, and weird. Yeah, yeah. You know, there is that line. There is that line. And it's very Cathy Heathcliff vibes where I obviously... I'm still thinking about that film on the regular. I have to go and see it.

23:47Vogue Williams:Don't tell. I might go. I might go alone. Everyone dies. Do they? I can't remember the book. They're stupid or so.

23:55Joanne McNally:No one remembers the fucking book. These hardcore English lip people have been so snobby about it. Do you know there's been like 35 versions of like people remaking and recreating Wuthering Heights? Do you know, like people need to calm the fuck down. Anyway, what I'm saying is there's a thin line between fun, romance that's hot and makes you feel attractive and then crossing that line between I feel uncomfortable now. But like I say, I'm here for the handwritten letters, but I would like to know what was in it. Yeah. And oh, also, I might set up a PO box.

24:29Vogue Williams:Joanne. No, you just never know what's going to come out. Ever. Where did you get that idea? Where did that come from?

24:38Joanne McNally:Well, I can't ask for people to send me letters and not have somewhere to send them to. One thing I want to say,

24:44Vogue Williams:you know your pal Kevin McGarren? Yes. did you see he did this song Jo you'd love it he did this song at the IFTAs very funny he was hosting the IFTAs which is a huge ceremony in Irish for actors it's like our it's like our BAFTAs

24:58Joanne McNally:Irish film Irish film TV awards yeah

25:01Vogue Williams:it's a it's a we should go like well we didn't get invited we weren't invited Joanne

25:07Joanne McNally:this is iconic you should have taken that job in Motherland we should go to the IFTAs no no I didn't get the audition I forgot we weren't invited fight head

25:17Vogue Williams:but anyway he did this song it won't really work if I play it go look at his Kevin MacGaffern and he did this whole song about all the Irish actors and Steve Coogan sitting there and he talks about Steve Coogan pretending he's from Mayo and it's just I have to say hats off to him I thought that that was absolutely brilliant

25:36Joanne McNally:he is one of the funniest people I know we did Republic of Tally together years ago oh yeah

25:42Vogue Williams:when you got the job of me when I got the job when I got the job when I got the job

25:45Joanne McNally:that I was then fired from 17 minutes later. But no, Kevin MacGarron is hilarious in fairness to him. He is. He's absolutely gross. I must watch that actually. I saw the clip floating around and I must give it the time.

25:58Vogue Williams:I must post it myself because I love it so much. Share it.

26:01Joanne McNally:Support.

26:02Vogue Williams:I will share it. Support. Like and subscribe. You know yourself.

26:12Joanne McNally:That's it for the bonus. Please like and subscribe if you haven't because it does make a real difference to listeners. Doesn't it, Joe? Oh, yeah. Go on YouTube as well.

26:22Vogue Williams:Oh, and the YouTube. The YouTube for Joe.

26:25Joanne McNally:And also, I'm on tour in Vogue's vlogging. So check all that out as well.

26:48Vogue Williams:This has been a Global Player original production.