MTGM EXTRA! "Handwritten letters..."

0:02This is a Global Player original podcast.

0:10Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Bo Williams and Joanne McNally.

0:19Joanne and I are talking about the Brits and I love her so much that she thinks that I would be in a category for the Brits. I don't know

0:26Joanne McNally:you don't know what I wouldn't know what you'd be up to I love you so much you're like a proud stage mom so what award are you up for at the Brits well actually well if you're not up for something can people just go yeah yeah yeah so you can go brands invite you along and I haven't been I've never actually been to the Brits I've only once been to the after party remember when I told you that story where I humiliated myself I'm from to David Gandhi and I woke up with my house and all the beds were yeah so that was the last time I went I know better for this time so I get to go to the Brits and then I get to go to the Warner After Party and Amber's going to come with me because you were not around I did invite you oh thank you yeah thank you remember I don't you know I don't have to be invited to everything all the time I'm happy when I see other people at events when I'm not there now I will have a quick scan of the WhatsApp to see was I was there any invitation extended oh there was do you want I wouldn't go to my own funeral without inviting you first okay just know that but she checks my tour she checks my website first to make sure I can't go and then sends the invitation by the way category wise I'm sorry you had a Christmas number one with Good Girls which could easily have been nominated for a Brit Award I forgot about that masterpiece the fact that isn't up for an IFTA is an absolute shock and I'm convinced there's a conspiracy theory going on where are you?

1:54Joanne McNally:my mum's spare bedroom oh we've never been to this room hello this is well considering this I was just considering we don't record we don't like video the bonus I'm free to be my ugly boffa bound self that's why when the video came on and Vogue was putting on lip gloss I had a I had a small panic attack what are you doing? why are you putting that on? I was like my lips are dry sorry this is the day to be ugly look at Jo I had to film I had to film two things this morning. That's why. Honestly, I could have predicted that from yesterday. I'm so obvious now. I'm obvious. You know yourself. I'm a hack.

2:30Listen, neither of you are ugly. Usually now when you've put a bit of effort in, I'll give you your eight and a half. Yeah. Yeah. When there's no effort, you might slip slightly to a six. And I slipped to the six myself. I was writing a stand about it the other day.

2:45Joanne McNally:I was like, I scrub up, but my God, do I scrub down very quickly. Within minutes. I was training with John this morning and I was like, oh God. And I actually looked at myself, I was like, can I go on like this? I don't think I can even show my face to just be in without a lick of concealer. Yeah. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's because I sleep facing down, all the, I was going to say cortisol, whine rushes to my face. And then when I wake up in the morning, I have to do a lot of kind of lymphatic drain, deep puffing yeah we need to get those ice baths for our faces did you get me one?

3:26Joanne McNally:no but I go to America you can get me one an ice bath for your face what are you talking about? the one that you breathe through through the Kylie Jenner oh god no no no no that's Guantanamo Bay shit I'm not doing that it looks like a punishment like they're trying to get information out of her well I want one so get me one when you're in the States I had a message from a woman who had listened to the pod and she was like I have a story to tell you about the air and gas I'm not sure if either of you got it. Remember we were talking about pulling it out of the walls. Did I not send you a picture of when I was down I went to the Bear by Vogue offices in Cork and they had this huge thing of helium a gas canister and I was like sorry?

4:05I was like what's that for? And they were like well we do stuff with balloons and stuff and I was like balloons? And they were like for decoration. And they just had it sitting under there. I was like trying to snatch that for Joanne

4:15Joanne McNally:on the way out and then I forgot about it. Sorry. Decoration. That's a shame. I was about to have them nominated for an IFTA for best employer in Ireland for giving balloons to their employees. Are you obsessed with the IFTAs because they're on today and you keep saying the IFTAs? They seem like the only award system I know in Ireland really. Someone goes to me last night I'm going to the DIFTAs and I was like the DIFTAs? What's the DIFTAs? And she goes no I said DIFTAs. Oh DIFTAs yeah. Yeah I was like sorry. I was like I know what the IFTAs are I'm not thick. I was like I just thought you were saying something new like the diftas I was like I don't know what the diftas is duh is Dublin for the Jo knows this so here she goes just listen to the MTGM is it actually maybe I shouldn't say her name because I think this is illegal just listen to the MTGM episodes where you discussed the recreational use of gas and air and had to message my brother-in-law who I think I think had a liver problem she's not sure and couldn't drink used to use gas and air like wine he was a non-medical doctor and would order it using his doctor title and then store it illegally in his cellar.

5:22Joanne McNally:Whenever the rest of his partook of a vino, he would trundle down to the cellar and bring up his canister and breathing tube. He would also head out and about to a chess club with his canister in a bag. There's a lot of woods and walls here. What happened? Is he still going? Yeah, she doesn't say. There's no death here. I guess maybe there was a separation or divorce, predictably. Couldn't believe it the first time I witnessed it, but everyone else just acted like it was normal. Unfortunately, without a medical license, you can't dispose of the canisters. So the empty is just built up in the cellar.

5:54Joanne McNally:God knows what they do if they ever move. A ridiculous, but highly amusing little situation. Hope you're well, etc. Send his address on now. Go on, we'll go down there for a little party. We'll go for a party. They're all empty. Like a grave. Well, he's obviously able to get his hands on loads. Like a tomb of good time. Joanne, if I have a fourth child, right? It will be me. I'm inviting you. I'm inviting you into the room. You can be my delivery partner. Spenny doesn't care. He'll just be like, whatever. It's the fourth. Yeah. You can be my birthing partner. I'd say it's boring watching the fourth one come out.

6:28Joanne McNally:First one, you're like, this is a buzz. It'll be nice to have someone new in the room as well who would be like excited, you know? And you know I'm very supportive. I'd be like, this is your Brit Award. I'd be like, get it, girl. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll supply a P. Diddy amount of lube and watch the thing shoot out and I'll catch it in one hand. Like a rugby ball, like Peter. No, no, no, like Bad Bunny at the, no? Did you see? Obviously, we're not going to get too into it because there's too many horrendous things around it, but Andrew, Mountbatten, Windsor, being arrested and all the memes that have come out.

7:04Joanne McNally:So I knew that the Prince, they'd redacted the Prince. Well, actually, sorry, I mean, they'd taken Prince off his title. But I had no idea who Mountbatten of Windsor was. or what's his name? What's his new name? That was Prince Philip's name, wasn't it? Mountbatten. I think I know that from the crown. I'm going to say yes or maybe or possibly. I thought it was a different royal. I was like, ah, another one's in the mix but I didn't realise they've just given him, they've renamed him. I feel like if I got arrested, I'd really like to try and do the felon shot. You know what I mean? You want to have something decent out there.

7:41I don't want to be Nick Nolte. Nick Nolte has the worst mugshot I have ever seen of anyone. Can I look?

7:48Joanne McNally:You want to be a hot felon. Do you know what I mean? You want to get some brand deals out of it which is what if you're smart about it you know. Did you hear Alison Hammond did you hear what Alison Hammond said? I can't believe they did it on his birthday. Could they not have waited a day?

8:05Joanne McNally:Poor Alison. She's like he's probably got plans. Happy birthday get in the car. He's probably got plans for himself. Good. Good. I don't think he would have plans there wouldn't be many people attending his party I wouldn't think Joe's just covering his face so he'd probably fairly easily get a reservation at the Pizza Express in Woking well done Joe getting involved topical five years ago that was that was good wasn't it a nostalgic callback I would call that Joe well done oh I read this other thing it was saying that there's a strategy so there's like four million pages in this document or whatever that the strategy is to overload because like no one's going to make sense of that it's too much information in one go we're down to the attention span we're busy watching rugs get deep cleaned on TikTok like we need people with way more experience than us to like bring it all down but you're one lady Victoria I mean talk about not reading the room if you weren't on the list you were just a loser basically yeah wow sorry I'm not on the pedophiles list I'm absolutely heartbroken you think it's cool to be on the list of a paedophile like no thanks and folk we love an invite we love an invite we do like an invite you know we love an invite but I think Joanne was on the plane yeah that I landed saw what was going on I said bring me home please it was a quick in and out you can check the roll

9:40okay we'll move on to emails Jo's going to have a nervous breakdown on this Friday morning. Okay. Hi, Joanne, Vogue and Jo. I have a very important matter to discuss with you and a potential topic of discussion for your podcast that I listen to religiously every week. Thank you very much, big fan. Thank you. You may not be aware of this, but there is an epidemic of men writing extensive, handwritten, stamped, posted letters, post-breakup of a relationship situation, particularly after no contact has been agreed and it needs to be addressed. What? Okay, let's get into it Okay My sister has just received a letter in the post From her ex-situationship Signed, sealed and saturated with his cologne And as I sit here with her My gay best friend and my boyfriend I know, I'm sorry We are all deeply perplexed And wondering why history continues to repeat itself And why men in particular Continue to insist this is a good idea Have you ever got a letter off anyone?

10:36Is that, is it finished? No, I'm just asking you Okay, we have multiple friends and family. No, we have had multiple friends and family receive letters at various points in their lives. I even had a friend's ex message me for permission to send a small letter to her, which I gave him a large no. We think this phenomenon needs to be dissected, and we all agree you're the only people for the job. Kind regards, Ellen. Oh my God, Joanna, are we that pathetic that no one's ever written us a hundred letters sent to us?

11:05Joanne McNally:When I hear men writing long form, it bangs a manifesto, which is never good. men riding long do you know what else there's a manifesto so firstly again coming back to my very toxic traits if a situationship that I blocked sent me a a written letter I would be thrilled because I've won I've won then even the ones that cheated on me I'd be like how sweet you cracked and I won now I know I'm part of the problem that's how I would see it I've no interest in boundaries I only set boundaries to test people to break them. That's what my boundaries are for. The boundaries are there so that it makes it harder for you to contact me.

11:45Joanne McNally:But if you don't still try and contact me, there will be consequences. I don't, that's fair enough. I completely understand that. But I don't know anyone who's getting letters of this kind. I certainly have not received any letter of this kind. I still have people blocked though, I have to say. And I'm not trying to be immature. I just think it's for the best certain people that I was with. I'm like just blocked for life. You know, I think, I think it's pathetic to block people during an argument, which I have done as well. But it's pathetic. I know it is. Yeah. But if you're going to block someone for life, that's fine.

12:18Joanne McNally:Because that's just for life. Sometimes you can't help but having a very emotional reaction in a moment. I've unfollowed people, which I regret now. I was like, that didn't deserve an unfollow. But I went up all into my own head and was like, you know yourself. You have a glass of wine. You're like, fuck them. And whatever. Anyway, not my finest moment. I don't think they've noticed and now I keep saying follow back. Anyway, whatever, that's a totally different rant. I kind of need more information on the letter thing. What do the situation should say? Are they asking for forgiveness? Are they asking to get back together?

12:51Joanne McNally:Are they in a program and they're just apologising? I think it's forgiveness, but I just, I find it really kind of... Do you want me to forgive you so we can get back together? Do you know what is it? We need more information. We need an update on this because I think it's the Olympic fellow but in letter form I think it's really trying your hardest to get back with somebody but it's in letter form but we I don't know how we're going to help you with this because we don't get any of these letters I don't know anyone who's gotten any do you know anyone sorry Vogue I will correct you there me and you when have we ever needed to have gone through an experience to have a wildly ill-informed opinion on it we don't need to have experienced to letter I just feel really sad to be honest like I want a letter and you don't want the letter you're married for kids you're married for kids you're grand you're out of the game it doesn't matter you're out of the game even when I'm dead I don't care I still want a letter even when I'm dead you're not a priority for letters anymore or look maybe you're getting 10 letters a week and Spencer's setting fire so I'm out of jealousy you're actually you are correct yes you're right there you go yeah thank you similar to Wuthering Heights I will take those letters and my Brit award.

14:04Thank you, Joanne.

14:05Joanne McNally:There you go. Similar to Wuthering Heights when her award sets fire to all the letters from Heathcliff. It's probably a similar vibe. I love the idea of forgiveness after time. I think there is a lot of pain and hurt in relationships, a lot of emotion, a lot of anger, resentment. People aren't necessarily thinking straight. And then I think there's something lovely after a prolonged period of time for two people or one and a half. Sorry. What was that? Amber's trying to sneak by us and she fell up the stairs and dropped her coffee. Oh no. She's getting ready to steal the show at the BAFTAs. That's what she's doing.

14:48Joanne McNally:She's going to fake a fall. The Brits. I'm going to the BAFTAs this weekend. I'm going to the BAFTAs. I don't know who I think I am. Listen. I also invited you to the house. All right, look. All right, Macaulay Culkin. Oh, I'm only lurking. I'm lurking. I shouldn't be at this one. This one's for like the movie stars and stuff. So like I am a complete nobody. I'm a lurking loser. You'll be handing out chubby chubs in the ladies' toilets. But still, you're in. That's the main thing. Gladly I would do that. I'll be going around with my... I'll be vlogging it like a complete... Listen, I already know my place at those Brits.

15:27I know I'm already a loser. So it makes no difference if I have my vlogging camera.

15:31Joanne McNally:Sorry, can I just say, you better vlog this Paddy's Day Parade Marshall thing and you better do what your man Francois, do you know that train guy Joe? Francis Bourgeois Francis Bourgeois, have you seen the camera angle that he does, I'm still, I think he is a grifter, anyway that's my personal opinion I don't for a second, I think he is playing up the very nerdy train guy, anyway it doesn't matter the point is, he reverses his head camera onto himself and if you do not do that for us Vogue in the car on St. Patrick's Day in your Popemobile doing your marshalling I'll be absolutely fuming that's actually official that's a request come on you need a back to front camera head torch and you need to look insane there's no other way to do this okay fine I will do you know what I might dress up as a leprechaun as well would that offend people probably it would I'd say probably yeah it would sorry they had me in a picture with a leprechaun who was that I don't know what he was that was me I keep telling you that was me I was saying I think there's something really lovely and really sweet in years after the fact when everyone's calmed down and the rage has passed and the hurt has passed to reach out in a way with a calm, kind letter, respecting the time spent together and saying, enjoy, enjoy your life.

16:51Joanne McNally:I hope you're, I hope you're happy. I think there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's really nice. I actually think that you're like, do you know what? because I genuinely, like, I don't hold, I actually genuinely have no grudges against people that I used to be with. I don't have any hatred for them. No, I don't. I don't have any hatred for them. And even the people that cheated on me, I'm like, oh, whatever. But I do think it would be a nice thing to do to say, do you know what? Sorry about that. I was a bit of a dickhead and I shouldn't have done that to you. And, like, it actually would, even though, like, I don't need it, it would actually be a mature, nice thing to do.

17:25Joanne McNally:We are open. It definitely doesn't need the cologne on it, though. No, and then I would send That might have been an accident. Return address, anthrax. That might have been... Okay. Romance is dead in the Williams household. I think there's some... And a letter is particularly considered. An email feels a little... Like an email is fine, but maybe they were blocked on the email. I think this is really nice. I'm in support. But then again, I think Wuthering Heights is a romantic story. So look, I thrive on toxicity and I thrive on people breaking boundaries for one last hurrah but I do think the letters is cute and sweet and I'm in support.

18:05Joanne McNally:And Vogue and I are open to receiving handwritten mail. Yeah, and we would actually appreciate it if you would like to anyone who has wronged us in any way, shape or form just write Vogue Williams-Hoth you can send Joann's here too and I will pass them on. No, I'll give Pat's address just in case they're crazy they'll assault Pat and I'll be fine. I won't give Pat's address it's safer for me yeah perfect yeah

18:34both you and I

18:35Joanne McNally:both decided we're going to have a good chat about the America's next top model scandal in the main oh gosh when I have mascara on I can't yeah I know I can't record with you if you're not having mascara on it's not fair to anybody involved everyone thanks for listening and we will see you on Friday with the main

19:13This has been a Global Player original production.