MTGM EXTRA! "Is this cheating?"

0:02This is a Global Player original podcast.

0:10Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams, Joanne McNally and Jo Atiwell.

0:20Do you ever get Uber, okay, and like you'll go in for an Uber and you'll try and get it and then they'll cancel on you and then all of a sudden there's a massive surge price. in China Uber drivers have figured out a loophole that pays them to do nothing so you know if if you cancel on an Uber you're charged a cancellation fee if you cancel, if you've ordered it and it's on the way and stuff, which is fair enough so some Uber drivers are selling really scary profile pictures that look like ghosts and just really evil people and it's making people cancel the Uber Shut up! Are you serious? when they see what the driver looks like they're like I'm cancelling that I don't want him driving me anywhere but they put up all these really creepy pictures and I thought you know what that's clever

1:07Joanne McNally:that's like something you would do that's smart I like it that's a really smart business plan I would get into do you know the amount of times I've stepped into cars and only that they say who are you I would just sit there and be sped up Well do you know what That says a lot about us Because I do the same And no one has even Tried to To keep us in the car They don't abduct Women our age Folk It's negative It's actually insulting To be honest They don't want Excuse me Please be safe Make good dreams Allegedly blah blah blah Excuse me Imagine you got stolen I would like to remind you By the way When I was on my way Into Into actually Leicester Square One morning At half four in the morning When I used to do A radio show in global.

1:55Disgusting.

1:55Joanne McNally:I couldn't think of anything worse. I would rather gargle silage. No, you'd rather gargle slurry. Slurry. Thank you. But I was on the way in and this man, it's not funny, but like this man stopped the car and he's like, get in the fucking car! Get in the fucking car! And I was like, no. Like, did he think I was just going to say, oh yeah, hang on a second, just unlock the back, will you? Like, Sorry, this is very reminiscent of the time that I tried to tell the story about my stalker and then realised there was no point in time. It was actually really grim. And we had to cut it from the podcast.

2:28Joanne McNally:This is very similar, very similar territory. I'm just letting you know that I am in demand. I am in demand. Okay? We on the e-scooter, were you? I don't have an e-scooter actually, Joanne. I have a push scooter. Okay? Do you know what I can't wait for this summer? I can't wait for the next, like, Ibiza Boss and stuff like that. Like, all those mean people. that are going to come out. I hope I am one, to be honest. Well, you'd have to go to a... You might be. I'll tell you what. If you book your kids to Spain, which you haven't done... I could be a clap and final boss. I don't have to go to Spain.

3:06Joanne McNally:I just have to get a bowler. No, you said you're coming to Spain with me and my family. And now I know that you are pulling out. And Gina and Amber are there. That's my carrot. Obviously I am, because I have no husbands and no children. Thanks, Vogue, for reminding me. That is my carrot on a stick. Gina and Amber are going to be there. Do you want? Okay. Can't wait. Don't forget who's coming. Oh, I'll be floating around in your paddling pill. Don't worry. I'll be there. You're bloody. Betsy. Okay, do you want a couple of listener emails? Always. Here we go. Is this cheating or please tell me this is normal?

3:39Oh, well, sorry.

3:40Joanne McNally:I'm going to stick my head in the line here and say, it's cheating. I am going to say, I don't know. I know. I know right away. Joanne, you're very negative in this. I'm very negative. I might not be. I'm not in a good place mentally. All right, go on, Vogue. Okay. Could be the nicest story in the whole world. Cheating! Sure. Women need to trust their own instincts. This is what I'm saying. If you feel like it's cheating, it's cheating. Yeah, I do think that you should always trust your gut because when you have that feeling, you're usually right. We need to just work towards the orgasm woman's commune that we have spoken about building several times.

4:24Joanne McNally:Joe will miss us, but he'll get over it pretty quickly. I, listen, I agreed on the housing estate with all of our friends. I'm not doing orgasm. I do that privately and I would not like to share that with anyone. Well, actually, you weren't invited to the orgasm breakfast. Fine. Anyway, I do not, because I won't have time to go because I'll be doing it on my own in my house and I'll be too busy doing it. Actually the man we booked to paw the women off In the morning said your gate was too wide And he said He said he'd be there all day And he was like I can't afford the resources Well the man that you have booked I have heard really bad reviews on And I heard that he has long fingernails And so I booked a different man Because I didn't want the man with the long fingernails Okay you're going back in your own argument Carry on So yeah you enjoy that scratchy scratchy Hello Joanne, Vogue and Jo You can enjoy never experiencing pleasure again.

5:20Well, you can enjoy also feeling attacked while you're meant to be experiencing pleasure because somebody wouldn't file us nails.

5:27Joanne McNally:Sorry, no, I will happily be played like a guitar. Okay, well, there. If you like a guitar pick... Okay. I'll go down time for this. Please, carry on. You enjoy yourself, okay? I have to go to Australia in half an hour. I'd really love your take on something and I'd appreciate staying anonymous. A bit of context first. Okay. My partner and I have been together five years and are engaged. We're deeply in love and I've always felt our relationship was built on a level of trust I've never had before. Or so I thought. Okay, I'm listening. I'm listening. Okay. But when trust is being described as something in the past, I'm not thrilled.

6:06He went on a stag this weekend and when he got back, I could tell straight away something wasn't right. He had that guilty look and said he needed to tell me something. Oh no. Myst - Oh no. My stomach has dropped for you My stomach dropped I hadn't worried once while he was away But in that moment my mind just spiralled And I was waiting for the worst He told me he'd been dancing Dancing sexily with a girl While very drunk and felt bad about it At first I tried to be rational I thought people are human Sometimes you find others attractive And at least he told me straight away I've actually taken my fluffy pen out I'm actually taking notes I mean even I feel Carry on.

6:46Sexy dancing. Is sexy dancing another word? Sorry, I'm just going to say it now.

6:51Joanne McNally:What man, what man goes home and tells their partner that they feel guilty about sexy dancing? Well, off the bat, my instinct says an honest one because the ones who cheat don't say anything, generally. No, or... He didn't have to say anything, that is true. So, no, so, or what he's doing is covering his back by going, someone might have seen me sexy dancing with this woman before I like carried it on and I want to have my back covered. That's what I would say. Okay, let me finish. I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. Okay. But later that night my brain went into overdrive. I couldn't stop picturing it.

7:26I started asking more questions. It turns out they were grinding. He was aroused and his hand was on her bum.

7:32Joanne McNally:Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, I literally blinked and you've got, is that a dream that she had or that happened? No, she's asked him and this is what he told her. So that's when it really hit me and I said I wasn't okay with it. I shot up in bed and I was like, tell me everything that happened. Apparently, they met two girls who went bar crawling with them. He ended up talking with one of them all night. He had told her he was engaged. She was a mom on a night away from the kid and they ended up dancing together and grinding and eventually she tried to kiss him but he turned away and left straight away realizing it had gone too far.

8:04Because that's where men draw the line

8:05Joanne McNally:just when it's about to, just when they're about to actually like get some penetrative action. They're like, no, no, no, this has gone too far. He went back to his Airbnb alone But admitted he later masturbated Thinking about her What the fuck Why is he telling her this I don't know Why are you doing this to her This is for his benefit And not her If you really didn't cheat on her And you're telling her the stupid bollocks That's gonna Sorry Why is he telling her this That's so mean Why is he telling her this? Sorry, we're in 2026. Who masturbates to thoughts? What? Sorry. Sorry, Vogue. Not everyone can afford the wardrobe of sex dolls that you have, okay?

8:58Joanne McNally:It's a cost-to-living crisis. This guy's a fucking oddball. Some people are just wanking off to thoughts. Oh, my God. Okay. Not everyone can afford to have a top-tier gold subscription. to wherever you're hooked up to in your St. Bart's Viore room. Some of us are just out here with an electric toothbrush and a bit of spirit. Oh, yes. Joanne, you literally have a fucking caseload of dildos. Like, you go in there and do two, which one for today? You don't need to wash them. You use one and then it's gone. It's built because there's so much to get through. Sorry, Vogue, how dare you? I don't because I've lost them.

9:39Joe has a locker full for you two locker fulls now there are two two locker fulls

9:44Joanne McNally:I'm not comfortable taking a dildo off you Joe not off me okay now I feel I'm worried you're dying them or something Joe go on

10:00now I feel completely stuck in my head part of me believes this is the whole story because I don't think you could handle the guilt of anything else happening but part of me thinks I'll never really know the full details and my imagination is too good at making them up I feel hurt and angry and I can't stop replying at all he says he feels deeply sad at how hurt I am but that I'm overreacting well you fucking anyway and that it's not as bad as I'm imagining but it really doesn't feel small to me this is like this is inside thoughts that he has brought outside like you don't bring the inside it's like you know if you see someone hot on the beach or something like I did yesterday I didn't look at the hot guy and be like Jesus Sven look at him he's hot isn't he I just it's an internal thought I just thought he's hot and I moved on and like I'm sure Svenny thinks because I've seen really hot girls on the beach too and I'm sure he thinks to himself they're hot and moves on he doesn't come and tell me fuck Jesus Christ I just thought in my own head that they're hot like God

10:58Joanne McNally:I if I sorry Jo we're going to bring you in for this if you don't mind because you are let me just let me just finish okay I keep trying to reframe it in my head And something a bit pathetic Where he was super messy drunk rather than sexy And then had a sad wank by himself Yes that's what he did A sad little wank And I'd say it wasn't even like a full hard one either I'd say it was really that sad Sorry so she's saying she's imagining That he had a sad wank Even though She's imagining that he was just deranged And like it wasn't like this big like sexy Kind of fucking Crazy stupid with love vibe yeah it's just i mean i don't feel like i think if if something happened he would have told you the full thing because i think that this is a man who feels the need to tell you absolutely everything and you did not need to hear about the sad little wank that was a sad little wank he's deranged for telling her i do not know why he did that to her like we are like programmed to be very territorial.

12:01Joanne McNally:Women are very territorial. We are sexually very territorial. It was like, it goes back to hunter-gatherer stuff. Like if someone's not hunting, we'll die. Okay. So we protect our resources. Why on earth this person, this man told her, I wanked over some girl that I dry rode in a club. Like it's nonsense. But now because he's claiming he did nothing like cross the line, whatever version that presents itself, She's like, I just have to kind of suck it up. We don't want to know that you're thinking about riding other women. Like, sorry, we don't. Like, I can only speak for myself. I don't want to know.

12:36Joanne McNally:Why are you telling me? Now I fucking hate you. No, of course you don't want to know. That's just such a, oh, hi, I went home and wanked over this person. But it's not enough. It's not enough to like tear apart the fabric of a relationship. Because it's kind of juvenile. It's just whatever. Like, we all do it. But like, why tell me you're doing it? This is the problem with men not talking to each other. because if he had suggested to his friends he was going to go home and tell his fiancé that he had wanked about the girl on the pub crawl, they would have said, you know what, pal? I don't think you should do that.

13:08I think that you should keep that to yourself.

13:11Joanne McNally:To be honest, a man expressing this much feeling is kind of... Sorry, Jo, I know I keep dragging you into it, but you are a man, allegedly, and we sometimes do need the male opinion. The reason I think he's telling the truth is because there's an element of selfishness to being that honest. It's absolving his own guilt by saying everything. He goes, well, I don't need to feel guilty anymore because I said everything. And that's why I think it's probably true that nothing else happened. It's a little bit selfish, but I think it's true. Well, Esther Perel, who I live and die by, says, she's like, when you tell someone that you cheated on them, it's basically like asking them to take a bullet for you yeah well it brings me back to that story remember that time i got cheated on and a girl mailed me like a year after it like we'd broken up and was like oh by the way and relayed the whole story for me but was going through like this 10-step alcohol and a kind of program and one of her steps was like to stop feeling guilty about certain things that she did and i'm like i nearly went back and then i was like you know what No, you're doing this for yourself.

14:21You're not doing this for me. You're telling me this to make yourself feel better. So how about fuck you? And I'm going to ignore that.

14:28Joanne McNally:Sorry, also, I will flag, you've no personal relationship with that woman. Like where and where and what and who and how does that absorb? Like it's kind of, I know the kind of recovery program stuff is a lot about like kind of clean your path and keep the side of your street clean. You don't know her. What she's done is actually dropped a bomb into your life. And I think that's actually quite selfish. and Esther Perel says to herself it's like taking a bullet for the other person because now you have information that you have to sit with and you want to stay with them but now they've done damage and this man has done weird he's just done weird damage I'd love to be the type of woman who's like oh I don't care that you were grinding up against some young one in a club and whined over when you got home but I'm not so don't tell me about it I don't want to know but also you're not herself for doing that because you probably shouldn't have done that anyway grinding over someone in the club but you're also then a bigger arsehole for coming home and now your fiancé just feels like shit.

15:25So do we think it's cheating or not? No, we don't think it's cheating. I don't know. To be honest,

15:29Joanne McNally:but also, Joe, what man comes home and gives crumbs like that? Why on earth would you do that? Yeah, Joe. What is he a priest? Would he feel that guilty about grinding up against a woman that he has to come home and admit that stuff to his fiancé? it doesn't make any sense like what is that? It's like self-harm like why is he doing that? No I'm asking you it's not rhetorical Joe I'm asking you why he's doing it Not wanting to live with the guilt is what it is It's a person who feels genuinely guilty and will feel better about you being okay with it The guilt of having a wank over a stranger Jesus Christ Joe if that was the case It's an unfortunate detail We'd all be in the guillotine Why is he telling her?

16:16Think about the weird sex dreams you have as well and you're like oh my god that came in an hour imagine waking up and being like here here just so you know I had a sex dream about this person like will we talk about it no let's not talk about it exactly how about no I'm not waking up

16:29Joanne McNally:and telling my partner that doesn't exist that I rode Kevin Bacon for nine hours the night before like just let it go why are you telling anyone Kevin Bacon's married to his cousin I don't know if I he is I read it he is google it Jo he's married He's married to his cousin He is married to his cousin I mean you can be removed from a cousin He is You should be removed from your cousin You shouldn't be putting things in your cousin If it's your cousin He is married to a distant relative Yeah distant Doesn't matter to you on any relative Like just come on Vogue you're royal adjacent now I despair I watch you She's going to be set up with to be honest the chin will be six foot three

17:24well I hope you enjoyed listening to that we have tried to stay on script and just a little reminder we are now on YouTube we're even doing the bonuses on YouTube much to Joanne's dismay but here we are thanks for listening

18:05Joanne McNally:This has been a Global Player original production.