MTGM EXTRA! "Is this the ULTIMATE ghosting?"

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1:00was anything wrong with you though. Like I feel like you just, I look at you and I'm like, honestly, I'm like, that's how I feel when I look at your stories. I'm like, why does she get away with it? I don't get it.

1:09Joanne McNally:I mask well. It's the neurodivergent in me. You mask. I don't mask well. You mask well. You mask well. You do. You can switch it on. Yeah, you mask. I mean, I'm taking the piss about the neurodivergent thing. Everyone masks to a certain, like if people didn't mask, everybody would just hate. you'd just be telling everyone to go fuck themselves all the time there has to be an element of masking where civilisation wouldn't move forward you can't be moaning at other people, I know I moan a bit but I do keep it kind of private when I'm on full moan stage because internal moaning for me is better than whinging at everyone you know yeah and as we've discussed before I'm very much in my Delulu Dalai Lama era where I realise that when people are mean to me or rude to me what they're really doing is being mean to themselves Oh my god I actually screen grabbed this because I wanted to show it to you Someone sent me a message it's in these hidden things where you like hide words or something Here comes some of the boos Is it a crossword?

2:16No, hide words so people can't mail you some bullshit that you don't hear and I went into it

2:21Joanne McNally:Oh, sorry Oh, you know Yeah, yeah Blocking certain terms Yeah Wish I bloody hadn't Vogue, I'm a great admirer of yours and an even bigger admirer of your stunning mother a fresh air have you not ever thought that at nearly 40 you should stop showing your bits in bikinis and concentrate on a deeper image going forward in your more mature years, I'm a big supporter of all that you've achieved and love your little family, I left their full name I won't mention it on the pod but get stuffed yeah, like, yeah but like, that to me now is someone thinking that she's offering genuine motherly advice. Like that, to her she's just being kind.

3:04Joanne McNally:Like, it was like, I remember years ago when I was doing stand-up at the time, I was doing stand-up about Mary Magdalene. I don't know, obviously an experimental face. Mother Teresa better watch out, she's next. I've moved away from religion now. Very much based on STIs and genitals. It's still on, I've evolved but I remember an elderly like an older woman coming up to me and she was like you know obviously a big like a big holy head on her and she was like if you don't mind me saying it the same thing it's always a shit sandwich if they start with a compliment and she was like please please please at your stage in life she said just leave Mary out of it just leave Mary out she's like why are you bringing Mary just leave her she was like I really like your work but come on now let's not drag Mary into it and so that's the same yeah I know Well you did in fairness it worked you left Mary I did This woman would be shocked because Sandra Wilson doesn't own a swimsuit Sandra Wilson only wears bikinis so is she going to go name male Sandra and tell Sandra to stop wearing bikinis You see there's always the rule that women in particular if they feel like they've been pressured to cover up if they're if they feel they can't dress a certain way at a certain stage then they feel like they're like if I'm playing by the rules and I'm embarrassed to be in a bikini then you should also be embarrassed folks so I'm just reminding you you should feel shame remember feel shame and leave Mary out of it do not I wouldn't even dare talk about Mary but the thing about it is as well can I just say and I'll interrupt you there now you've great bits God knows I've seen enough of them at this stage to know great bits yeah you're an 8 out of 10 on the bit front they're fully intact but the thing about it is they are we see them clearly through your pants I don't love my legs I've always said I don't love my legs I don't hate them anymore but I actually don't mind my stomach so like I look better in a bikini because it kind of detracts a bit from the legs so like and also I'll wear whatever I want exactly you don't need to justify it and if I want to wear a thong bikini back to front I will because I have great bits the only thing I cannot support an older woman doing is wearing pigtails anything else I'm fine with it I think an older woman wearing pigtails pigtails pigtails Pigtails Oh my god Is that an English accent What happened there Jo I just glitched Pigtails Pigtail I've been on the phone To Rick my UK agent Pigtails Did you want You have space buns Which are Which are two pigtail buns And you're right It's on the nose It's on the nose And I said to Sue The last time Sue Brophy Does my hair and makeup And the last time She was pulling them up Into space buns I said Sue Am I allowed Still do this And I think she'd one up So she was like Fuck you yeah because she's like I'm not taking it down and starting again especially with all your hair it's like no fuck that's it she's like your brand that's it no but pigtails and an older one they're the only thing I do I do kind of think hmm breakdown yeah pigtails not great yeah I agree do you remember do you remember I planted that that white thirsty thirst trap when I was in Cape Town oh yeah I really enjoyed that and you could see it disappeared it for a while and then brought it back and then brought it back yeah yeah and I remember like I not I got a not like massively mean or anything but just kind of like I'm a bit disappointed you've gone down that route la la la yeah I was like sorry it's like just because I'm a comic doesn't mean I have to be in bits all the time do you know what I mean?

6:37Joanne McNally:And also I don't know what people think you're like I always get that if I get photographed on the beach it's like oh look at her showing up what do you want me to wear to the beach? I know like do I have to wear a full woolen suit or do you mind if I wear a bikini? Yeah I know again when they're being mean to you Vogue they're only being mean to them well they're not actually they're being mean to you but on a deeper level you know what I mean it's because they're unhappy with themselves well anyway I found it interesting why am I not a fucking wellness guru at this point come on well I could point to quite a few reasons why that would be the case but publicly why am I not privately it's fine can you imagine Joanne does a video where she's making her own almond milk or something It would just be really, it just would be very weird.

7:23Almond?

7:23Joanne McNally:What's an almond? Almond. Almond. What'd you say? Almond. Almond. The L is silent. Sorry, I didn't know you were forgetting about the L. Not in my house, it's not. It's almond milk. What do you say? I'm not ganging up on you, but I'd put the L in as well. Almond milk. Oh! Almond, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, Joanna's so Parisian. Almond milk. Well, it's not Parisian. It's basic linguistics. I'll ask the internet. Ask ChatGBT tea there No Stop wasting the water Everyone's at that ChatGBT shit You tell me about the water It's all I can think of I deleted the app The way not to waste Just ask normal Google Just ask Google The way not to waste the water Is to stop saying Thank you to ChatGBT That saves a good bit of water Just take your shit Just get your information And run Okay fine Gigi's gone for her first Sleepover today Oh did you kick her out?

8:12No I was only selling tea Because he goes over To my brother's house And they love it Well it's I think I'm going to Now I know I'll get a call at like 7 o 'clock to go pick her up because she'll be whinging but anyway you have to give them a go Give them a go It's the time she's stood

8:25Joanne McNally:on her own little feet What did it say Jo? The Americans definitely say almonds Almonds Oh my god Joanne's gone continental What can I say? I'm trying to crack America you know Do you eat basil? I don't eat basils now Come here Enough of the chit chat I went to see Evita last night Oh yeah how was it the show that you couldn't go to and well when I say Vogue you really missed a trick there it was phenomenal now it took me it took me a minute to get into it the second I sat down I was like I want to leave because I realised I was stuck there you know you know the way musicals they always go they always you know they go on for quite a long time yeah and there was hour and 15 perfect there was it was it was a long enough show but once I kind of got into the swing of it I was oh it's your one Rachel what's her face who kind of tanked Snow White apparently oh Rachel Ziegler yeah because she was very pro-Palestinian at the very start when America a lot of Americans were still trying to not Americans you know the kind of America-Israel collab as such and Disney obviously has Israeli connections blah blah blah but anyway and she kind of when I say this woman the fucking star quality I've never seen anything like it the voice on her she's so beautiful she's gorgeous oh she's insane it's insane how long was it are you pretending it was long and it was more like the wicked thing when you thought it was an hour and a half long and it was actually 240 no no it was long like it was do you know what it ended when it needed to end which is the biggest compliment I can give to a musical me and Ross went is it Don't Cry For Me Argentina is that it oh wow I had to make it happen I had to change oh it was just and then she goes out and does the balcony scene on the balcony in the Palladium and there's like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people I was in the Palladium yeah I was in the Palladium and do you know what I said when I was sitting there looking at the Palladium I said me and Vogue sell this out a couple of times it's not fucking mental do you remember we used to say that to ourselves every time we got well no we used to go on stage in what was it called the Apollo and you'd be like I did this three times on my own.

10:47Joanne McNally:Yeah, yeah. I did. Do you know why? Because the stat, well, I won't, I actually won't say why on the podcast, but there was a reason why I was doing that. I was asserting authority. I was asserting authority when I thought someone was disrespecting us. That's what I was doing. I was being a mother. You were always looking after me. I was. Good times. I was, but I was. I was like, I've been, I've done all this already. All of it's been done. But yeah. Come on. When she went out and she sang on the balcony, I cried and you know how medicated I am that's not an easy thing for me to do only out my left eye which then I went home to Google but apparently it's fine but I cried heavily out my left eye yeah I know yeah I would highly recommend but it's all sold out I had to fight tooth and nail to get tickets and we paid for them but I because I'd done the play I was like come on fucking come on please well I'm going to a play I'm going to a play next week in Dublin called The Weir and Brendan Gleeson's in it oh yeah and it's meant to be incredible I think there's some tickets left I think it's pretty much sold out it's in the Olympia and I can't wait I want to start getting back into the play era because I'm not going to scare anyone but I did get a touch of oh god it's winter because when I was in Edinburgh I was like oh it's winter but I suppose it's always winter up there but it just reminded me that winter is coming so we need to get back into going into venues and stuff we can't be standing outside in the streets having a drink anymore it's too cold we'd be doing the Edinburgh Fringe in like pond shells because it's raining so heavily but then when the sun comes out oh it really makes an effort really mad I love Edinburgh well I was going to say I died for it I wouldn't die for it but I'd weekend there yeah my mum used to live there it's enough I think to give them did she why did they send me to Aberdeen uni when they lived in Edinburgh and there's four unis in Edinburgh why didn't I go to uni in Edinburgh well you know the way I'm talking about having this gay baby I'm going to have a gay baby with my friend Ross the father will be gay but the baby will be either gay or not gay I don't really care if it's a son obviously I'd want it to be gay if it's a girl I really don't give a shit anyway obviously we're thinking about it talking about it blah blah blah and I was driving past a really lovely boarding school the other day and it boards like juniors and I was like perfect so I was like Joanne you haven't even had the gig and you're already going to the Uber pull in there I need to do a tour of that boarding school gotta sign up taking it through and it's three years made

13:03Joanne McNally:I'll see you for a week it'll go to its gay father until it's three and it'll go to boarding school crat god this really takes the pressure off me because it's quite full on with three kids. I don't know if I need a Gabby on top of that. Not at all. Throw them in the fucking boarding school. I'm fine. You won't want to. Once they're there you just won't want to. I'm telling you I don't want mine to go to boarding school honestly. I'm thinking of polluting their mind with how bad it is or something. I think once it arrives via airplane from the surrogate in America I will be attached. Do you know did you see that AI thing where they're basically creating a woman's womb and the baby is born in the...

13:38Oh I'd love that. I don't know. I don't think I think I think there's nothing wrong give it a little go yourself give it a lash yeah even I vomit the whole way through I vomit the whole way through and honestly it is if you can do it I would do it

13:53Joanne McNally:yeah well we'll see we don't know we don't know what the situation is to get a bit of excavation done I should really go do that again it's always nice to know exploratory I need to be exploratory I'll go with you it's a date it's a date we'll go we'll get our eggs checked yeah I was doing We've got our vaginas buzzed together Let's just do all Lower area things together I was doing Deeran Garry's podcast yesterday Laughs Your Life And we were talking about you And she was like Is it annoying that she's so gorgeous I said she is I said but she's I said she's got a very wide gait And I said so I said Deeran If it makes you feel any better about yourself It is wide It's the widest one I've ever seen And that's always It's not that wide And every time she rocks up Full hair and makeup In her bikini and her abs I just think Wide gait Wide gait Wide gait Wide gait it's not that wide it's bizarrely wide I have looked at it and it's not that wide I think the only problem I have when I walk is the arms move too much and I've been told Shaggy from Scooby Doo and I really try and control the arms but if I'm not thinking about them they're going up to my ears and stuff if you could have if you could have one piece of my body if you could swap is there any piece of my body you would swap your legs I'd love your legs and I wouldn't mind your arms to be honest with you really and your boobs and your hair I'm sure I have nothing left You've skinned me alive woman I said one thing I'm like potato heads You've taken all the features off From the arms and the legs Bald potatoes There's lots of stuff I've had my eye on I'll take that

15:32Joanne McNally:I think I would take your Hands Arse Arse Abs Eyebrows Teeths And lips I got I'm allowed to say it now I got a lip flip Because I spoke about it in my book I got Botox So I got a lip flip If anyone's ever heard of it Because I've just noticed it kick in And when you said that Your lips Because I was like People are going to think I got loads of filler on my lip I got a lip flip Which is like Botox At the top of your lip And it makes your lip Kind of sit up a bit and you kind of notice it kicks in when I was trying to drink out of that straw there it's like Yeah I had one of them before you like a fish I love it Yeah it looks great when your mouth is just like not moving but the second you have to put anything in it I know but I was when Katrina Ryan tells you to do something you just say yeah go for it Oh yeah yeah yeah She told me to shave my head you'd look better I'd say okay fine if that's what you think Yeah That's one thing I will say about you I don't think you could pull off a shaved head and I'm always very I'm always very honest with you and I think that's where I don't think It's a bit flat at the back as well and the neck is too big for a shaved head like my neck is so long it kind of looks giraffe-like at times There's only one way to find out I mean for charity maybe?

16:50No Sharon no My hair doesn't grow like Joanne's Joanne's with shaved one day will be back the next

16:56Joanne McNally:Can I? Have I talked about have we given an update on your well your your farce of a pumpkin seed tit growth journey but my actual real journey of Regain working on my hairline Well Regain is like chemical like the sunflower seeds were only just a little go and I actually think they've gotten smaller Remember when I asked the scalp dermo in the Montrose and she was like told me to use Regain and I've been blasting it on and when I say actual regrowth I cannot get over I honestly can't get over that it works and this is Also you haven't been dyeing your hair blonde so you have to take that into account as well.

17:35You dye your hair blonde. Like my friend does my hair over here and she's like, you can't get your hair dyed. And I was like, why not? I was planning to get it dyed this week. And she's like, you can't. It's literally breaking off. Blonde breaks your hair off. Yeah, no, no, it is.

17:45Joanne McNally:It's shit crack, yeah.

17:51Hello, hello, ladies and Joe. I've just listened to your bonus pod about the poor woman who was ghosted by her shitbag partner of five and a half years and wanted to share the story of my ex-father-in-law. did that woman ever get back to us Jo no? Not yet but I still believe

18:05Joanne McNally:I believe too I think if you write once you write twice She's busy Always a writer What if she misses it? She might miss the pod and not hear it I mean I could email her back Sorry is that your wife who just messaged That's my wife on the WhatsApp She did a poo at nursery with three exclamation points That's brilliant but no nazis You guys In 2007 My then father-in-law-to-be Went on a fishing trip With a friend They are European And this was just Off a coast They resided That he knew well Gay When he didn't return When expected His wife of 25 years And two sons Started to call To try and find out Where he was Dead One, two Skip a few Coast guards were called Boat found Body was not Funeral took place Dead and gay Two You're really on the gay chat today.

19:01Two years later, my husband received a text message from someone he hadn't spoken to for a long time to say how nice it was to catch up with his dad on the plane. No. No. And how they should catch up soon. It's been too long. Needless to say, everyone was very confused how a dead person could be on a plane and very much alive. Turns out after amounting some debt and meeting a new woman, he felt the only way he could start a new life was to fake his own death and leave his wife of 25 years and his sons of 22 and 15 years old behind.

19:41Joanne McNally:Oh my, this is huge in Japan, by the way. Go on. Yeah, I've heard that. Is faking your death the ultimate ghosting? I'll let you decide. Wow. Wow. Okay, I'm downloading my thoughts here. One. I think that is desperate. What a gunt, I think. We'll start using gunt instead, Jo, because you don't have to bleep it out. What a gunt of a man. Imagine putting your family through that. And do you know what? The money thing, that's a real issue with men in particular. They're always gambling and a lot of them, they unalive themselves because they've got themselves into all sorts of debt and all that stuff.

20:19but adding another woman

20:21Joanne McNally:in the mix it's too much it's too much I can take you I can take you killing yourself off for financial reasons but add romance in what a gunt I know you're young kids feeling like they've lost their dad and you're actually alive just going and living another life and actually being able to be happy away living another life that is just I've heard stories like this before how does she get away with it though like that's like there's a lot of talk goes into that you can't just it's not that easy to start again Do you know what I mean? I mean But in Japan Yeah you can go missing They have a service Where people can actually Make you go missing Can make you disappear They work too much in Japan Well no They're allowed to have naps During the work day I told you that I think they just pass out I don't think that's napping I think that's just like Oh if I don't lie down I'll die thing Anyway This is terribly sad Because you're like You've grieved a man already And now you know he's alive But you're like You're already dead to me And now you're dead to me again Because I know you're Gunt and he felt and you were so upset that he lost his life and you actually were so nice about him and went to his funeral and organised a funeral do you know how much your funeral costs absolutely cost him a bloody fortune I would love to know how many women versus how many men have killed themselves off put their family through hell and started a relationship with another woman that's what I would like to know how many women have done that versus how many men it's 100 % men and 0 % women I'd say I would estimate and I'm actually going to look into it for the next podcast.

21:51Are you though? No.

21:55Joanne McNally:Of course not. Well just stick up for women, that's it. Yeah. That's a disgrace. That is the ultimate ghosting. I mean that's a really, that's really bad. I'd say it's not uncommon. I would be like, if my fella died, I'd be like, until I see that gun's body. And I'd be opening up the coffin in the ground as well just to make sure. I'd be like, I am watching the ground go on top of that coffin. Yeah. I'll set fire to him myself and then I'd be looking at the book of condolences and any women I didn't know I'd be like who's she? How do you know her? Get him back up. I need to ask him. This is bullshit.

22:31Joanne McNally:Exhume this lad. Tell him I've been in his DMs and we need to talk outside immediately. Oh yeah. They're all at us. Do you want to stop? They're not all at us. That's the ultimate ghosting. I'm back seeing a therapist. Oh great I think that's really good for you I love that Yeah So it's very much about trying to be more positive about like relationship Yeah So I'm not I'm not I'm being more positive So maybe that man had his reasons Fair play to him I would say having been through lots of therapy I think he was overwhelmed I think he is wrong I think he's overwhelmed that man I need to be more generous in in my feedback towards men and their actions and I maybe that mum is over for that.

23:15Well that's it. I always have to say I always have to end it.

23:19Joanne McNally:I know I'll just keep chatting. See I don't have kids or a husband I'm completely alone folk so I'll just I've nothing to do with it. You're the least alone person ever and you've so many people that you hang out with all the time you've had a better life than I do. I've no sense of purpose and I have a bad attitude apparently according to my therapist so I have nothing to do but chill. You didn't say the bad attitude I don't believe that. No he didn't say the bad attitude he didn't say the bad attitude. I'm still not ever being called controlling only because I was called out in it. He was like, stop being such a gunt.

23:45I was like, I'm sorry. You're a bloody gunt.

23:48Joanne McNally:Vogue, you are controlling. In a good way. Sure. Yeah, in a good way. Come on, I'm a good organiser. I'm a good planner. You are, you are, you are. I wish I was actually, I wish I was a little bit more controlling actually. I'm quite avoidant. Which things, and then things build up. Do you know what I mean? We get on so well though. You're more, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're more like, let's get this done and dusted. Yeah, and you deal with things quite well. And you're a good communicator, I would say. Thank you very much. Wow, we're full of the compliments today. It's not that you... I told you, I'm being more positive.

24:21Yeah, well, it's really... Wow, I feel great about myself. Thank you very much. Have a great time.

24:26Joanne McNally:I'm on tour. When can I go see you? You still come to the Apollos. There's tickets. There's four Apollos sold. There's tickets left for the last Apollo. Fantastic. And the rest of them are gone. And Clarnia Casa Bar, that's happening this side of Christmas. The Dublin ones They've started cryptics They're gone But Pilarnia Castle Bar There's still tickets for thousands If anyone Cares to put me out of my misery And buy one of those tickets That'd be fantastic Thanks everyone Thank you