MTGM EXTRA! “It’s not ALL men… HOWEVER…”

0:02This is a global production.

0:04Joanne McNally:It's not, it's not old man. You're right, it's not old man. However, it seems to be a lot of them. I wouldn't ride him anymore because I think that he is. Now, I do think people look at it and they're like, ugh. I'd like a perineum massage, please. He's like, but you're not pregnant. That's none of your business. How dare you.

0:34Joe's back.

0:35Joanne McNally:He's, I can tell you now, I've been dealing with him for the last 10 minutes before you were logging in and he is not in good form. I've only been at work for 90 minutes. Is that the he's got the post holiday please? Did you go on your holidays holidays? No, I didn't go on my holidays holidays. I went on my staying at home holidays. Just, you know, a holiday from the grind. Well, I mean, home holidays feel like holidays sometimes. I don't want to be, I don't want to sound ungrateful but I because I'm in London now for the month of August I was like desperately during the heat rave I was like I'm going to book a hotel like for the weekend and me and the kids will go and we'll have a lovely time they've got a kids club they've got a swimming pool it's just like dragging your problems to another part of the country really isn't it the moaning the moaning is just and Otto do you remember do you remember hiding on your parents and not knowing why they got so annoyed Otto ran out of the changing rooms naked and I was like he's only just gone to the shower.

1:33Hid! We couldn't find him for 15 minutes. I was having a breakdown and having to go around people, have you seen a naked child in there? I'm a bad parent.

1:47Joanne McNally:I feel like we should have started this podcast Good Moaning.

1:53Good Moaning everybody.

1:55Joanne McNally:Do you want anything to add to this? I feel like this This is a moaning episode. I had a family barbecue yesterday. So I am quite... Hungover? I was going to say sensitive. But yeah. Yeah. Okay. We know you, don't we? Yeah. It'll get her the odd time. She doesn't get hangovers, but it does get her the odd time. I'm surprised it was a family barbecue that managed to tip her off. It was a shared event between my nephew's 16th birthday, 15th birthday, and my, I say 16 because my mum put 16 on the cake by accident, 15th birthday and my Netflix event. So she had happy birthday to my nephew and happy Netflix to Joanne.

2:47Joanne McNally:And then there was a big photo of me on it and my nephew didn't get a look in. It was fantastic.

2:57Joanne McNally:if that was me when I was younger I would have thrown an absolute stinker who is she yeah it was actually and I'm like the grown adult you know what I mean and I'm the one yay my face is on the cake he didn't get a look in anyway there was a drink if I was 15 and my auntie had a Netflix special I'd be thinking cha-ching and I know that she gave Vogue's four year old child a load of fivers I'm getting a load of 50 surely well as well as we know, kids these days and I'm not singling out anyone in particular but you could rev them a grand and they'd be like thanks, full stop the level of like appreciation I mean it's not off the charts now, I will say I actually asked somebody this morning when do kids start appreciating you and he was like, well mine are 16 and 17 so I'll let you know when it happens yeah I actually I said to one of the one of the children in my life who's again I'm keeping this very broad and do bearing in mind I have a lot of children in my life I said when are you going to throw in an exclamation point I would like an exclamation point after the thanks so it feels like so you didn't have to send it with your parents a gun with your mother holding a gun to your head thanks sounds lighter than thanks full stop okay the full stop is a bit aggressive isn't it?

4:23Well it depends how much it depends how much you sent

4:25Joanne McNally:This is what I mean It wouldn't make any difference How much did you send? I could send I could send a Lamborghini to any of these children Thanks Full stop Did you see her one driving to did you see her one driving to college in America in the Barbie car because she got her license taken over for a DUI It's very funny It's just a very visually funny thing She's Her legs don't fit and so they're up out in the bonnet and she's driving She can drive. She can hit the main roads. In the Barbie car. A Barbie car. Like, do you know the way kids have these? It's not like a car for a Barbie. Yeah. I mean, that would be ridiculous.

5:04Joanne McNally:No, I know what you mean. They don't go that fast. You can fit an adult ass in the seat and then she's her legs out on either side. And then she just buzzes along into college and people are now stopping her for photos and all. And this is not to lessen the crime of drink driving, but it looks really, really funny. and it really made me laugh and I thought I'd share it with you two moanbags. It tickled you. It tickled me. A quick Google suggests that it's not a way around it because in September 2025 a man was arrested in America for driving a similar Barbie Jeep whilst he was under the influence of alcohol and he was arrested.

5:44Joanne McNally:Oh yeah, well I suppose I remember him and he was driving that car because he had a DUI. And they arrested him for drunk driving a Barbie car. Yeah, the police said that it was a clear violation of the law. Are you allowed to drink, drive and cycle or no? I think you can't do that either. Definitely don't do that. You can't drink and cycle. Well, do you remember there was someone killed? Do you remember back in the day that's all the people used to do? All those lime bikes in London, Joe, they're all half cut. Remember they call it lime leg, the doctors in the AE, because they keep cycling into buses and breaking their legs open.

6:22Joanne McNally:But there was someone killed by two girls on an e-scooter. Do you remember this? And they had been drinking. Now, I don't know if the drinking thing had anything to do with it, but they were arrested and all because it was dangerous driving. They were up on the path and they absolutely annihilated this person and they died. So, yeah. I have to say, I cannot stand those e-scooters. I know, I think this shows my age, but like I do I think that they're so dangerous and like I just can't understand how people are just whizzing around I saw a man with a baby in a papoose is that what it's called? The thing that you attach the baby to your body and the baby is just in it and he's flying along in this e-scooter I'm like oh I just don't know We've all seen those videos with like 20 kids in the back of a motorbike with no helmet and all Listen I don't get involved not my circus not my monkeys It's illegal under the Road Traffic Act to be drunk in charge of a bicycle, you are also not allowed to be drunk in charge of a horse.

7:22Drunk in charge of a horse? Can't do that, no. Never heard of that before in my life. Wow. What about rollerblades? Rollerblades, is it anything that gets you around? Or just... I'm just wondering how I'm going to get home from the hospital after I have the baby because I'm definitely getting drunk immediately. Generally not illegal by specific law. So just a horse. Probably not advisable, though. You definitely can't ride a horse. I think you might be able to drive a boat, but don't do that.

7:53Joanne McNally:No, there's no... I mean, it's illegal to be caught dead in rollerblades anyway. There's no way you can drive a boat drunk, Joe. Should look at the Murdochs. No, what I just said is not true. You can't drive a boat. We had to fact... Well, do you know what I've started watching? Just don't drink and leave the house. I watched the and I text you to try and get you to watch it as well there's a BBC kind of thing on Jared Leto which I would like to talk about more in the main but oh not like but do you know we'll get more into it in the main but it's basically about Jared Leto and like him going for teenage girls and it's this big like they uncover all this stuff about him and he's just creepy he's not allegedly creepy he's creepy yeah I mean at this stage I mean I don't even know like honestly Joe if there was an expose on you next week I'd be like yeah Grant I mean I just don't trust anyone anymore I'd be quite surprised if there was to be honest with you I wouldn't Joe I'd be like yeah I'd sell a story but Jared Leto if you watch it you have to watch it I will I will.

9:12Joanne McNally:I'm just saying, Jo, don't expect any loyalty from us, okay? If you're a weird, if you're a secret perv, yeah. Anything weird. A hot potato. We'll let you away with most things, but pervs are not allowed. We don't, we just don't accept pervs. Do you know who else I find really disappointing? Hasn't broken the law, but really disappointing because I really like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anthony Kiedis. And he's like 54 or something and he's going out with a 19-year-old and it's like, dude, what are you talking about? I've seen this. I just accept now that most men, most all men, are drawn to, I'm going to be very careful how you say this, significantly younger women.

10:01Joanne McNally:That's all. That's all I'm going to say. It is what it is. I don't think there's any getting away from it. We judge it, but it's not going away. it's not gonna it's not gonna change I would say I would have to say it's not all men because I do think that for that it's a very specific thing especially like I mean I just like with things like that I just I don't understand like what am I gonna talk to let's say a 16 year old about how was school like did you have fun in school with your friends I know and like what did you get your new pencil case September's coming up like who's covering your books for you.

10:39Joanne McNally:There's nothing. What are you talking about? It's not all men. You're right. It's not all men. However, it seems to be a lot of them. A large amount. It's quite the number out there. And of course, people like him, like rock stars like him, can get away with it because no 19-year-old girl wants to be going out with some L lad who's like driving a Toyota Corolla around town. Do you know what I mean? They want to be going out with a millionaire rock star who's going to treat them like a princess and they're going to have a gorgeous life and he's cool he's in the Red Hot Chili Peppers do you know what I mean I'd ride him I'm too old I actually think that I wouldn't ride him anymore because I think that he is now I do think people look at it and they're like ugh like it's just like even Spenny loves the Red Hot Chili Peppers and I told him and he was like ugh it is just like just because you you can doesn't mean you should where I feel like we talk about this like it's just It's the same with Tobey Maguire.

11:40Fucking hell. Who? I just find it so grim. Spider-Man. Spidey. Oh, what's he? Oh, God. He's not the current Spider-Man. That's very much... He's gone. Timothy Chalamet. Tom Holland. Tom Holland since then.

11:56Joanne McNally:Spider-People, John. You're just saying... Spider-People. Yeah. Beg your pardon. Yeah. Yeah. Got cancelled. Done. What did Tobey Maguire do? Tobey Maguire's going out with somebody who is extremely young and he's in his 50s as well. And it's just like, I don't know, there's just... But even like your mates, right? You're taking your significant other out to hang out with your mates and they're like, oh great, he's bringing this 19-year-old bird. Like, what the fuck are we going to talk about? I know. I'd literally be like a backstone sitting beside her. I know. I do that. I have a friend that brings people out and I'm like, you know when you know it's a very fleeting romance and it's happened so many times that I'm like I know I don't want to invest my time in this I know it's going nowhere I don't want to invest my time I know I was out at the weekend and one of my friends is seeing somebody and I like that I invested a lot of time in that person on the night and when I was leaving I said to my friend if you fucking fuck this up I said I've put in four hours here do not make this a waste of my time do you know what I mean she said bring her back if you're bringing her out and we're putting in the hours you put in the work if we're putting in the work as well I want to see her again

13:21I had a really embarrassing moment this week so we have a lovely lady who helps us with the kids and I Amber Yeah, so anyway, so... She act out! She's just been on holidays with them. I haven't really heard much from her since we got back. She's healing somewhere.

13:51She's cancelling next year's blinds is what she's doing. It's full on. It is so full on. But I ordered this thing. I don't remember if I told you last time, right? When you're having a baby, my doctor told me to get this thing. it's called the epi-no so I bought a new epi-no because I've lost the old epi-no and it's this thing that you put up you're meant to do a perennial massage have you heard of that Joe? Yes. He knows he remembers right so a perennial massage is like to prepare you for childbirth and it's the bit between your bum and your vagina you know that bit?

14:26Joanne McNally:Yes your verse is the technical term between your vagina and your arse It's like a little patio area. Yeah, yeah. Joe, are you telling me about a woman's peridium?

14:46Joanne McNally:I think you might have forgotten yourself. You can't mansplain a verse to me. It wasn't an explanation for you. It was by way of imagery for someone who's listening who might not have experience of that. Well, men have it, but they call it the gooch. It's called the gooch for a man. It's called the bars, Vogue. It's called the bars. Between the bollocks and the arse. Hello? Is that between the balls and the arse? These are magical terms, guys. It's the gooch. It's absolutely not the gooch. Okay, hold on. I'm going to ask Claude. Did you make up Boris or is that real? That's a medical term. No, it's fucking not.

15:44Joanne McNally:Okay, fine. It's not like in the books, but I'm pretty sure it's used in the hallway. Hold on. What is gooch? on a man. I hate the Boris. I know, it's gross. Listen, you brought it up with your perineal massages. Now that I know the name of it, I'm going to ask my masseuse to give it me. I never wanted to ask him to do the Boris because I felt it was... I'm in for a virus massage. I can give it a medical term, a proper term. I mean, I'd like a perineal massage, please. He's like, but you're not pregnant. That's none of your business. I dare you. Fuck off.

16:27Joanne McNally:did you look it up did you have the gooch there what is gooch on a man

16:35Joanne McNally:oh yeah oh my god here we go gooch is a slant my chat should be to say ooh that's an interesting question anymore because it just wants nothing to do with me usually it's really nice at the start mine just this scumbag is back

16:54Joanne McNally:I wonder what setting I've hit because it's very rude to me now anyway gooch is a slang term for the perineum the area of skin and tissue between the genitals and the anus for a man the gooch is the area between the scrotums and the anus it's a normal part of the anatomy and contains muscles so I bought this thing and you basically, it's like a balloon and you put it into your vagina and you do your kegels on it and it gets you ready for childbirth in the hope that you won't then tear your perineum. But before I got that, it was suggested that you got your partner to help you with a perineum massage.

17:31And I couldn't think of anything I would like fucking less than spending going there and massaging my perineum. I just would rather, I'd rather just deal with the consequences. Then I came across the Epineau. Anyway, I bought the Epineau and you have to buy lube to go with it, which is separate. So I bought the lube and I had said to this girl, I was like, don't open the Amazon packages because obviously I knew the lube was in there and I was like, I can't then explain what the lube was for. And it wasn't just a small thing of lube because obviously I'm trying to get the best money for what I'm buying and the one that I bought was like 500 milliliters.

18:06Now I don't need it.

18:08Joanne McNally:You are a working woman. You do not need to bulk buy lube. But I don't want to run out and it was on offer. the large one was on offer beep beep truck backing up to the house beep beep beep anyway I got home I got home after my weekend away and there is the huge enormous and it actually has a little like squeezy thing because it's got so much it's so big that you just like do it like a shower gel squeeze squeeze squeeze the big thing of lube just sitting on the table and like what can I do I just had to take it and just walk away and say nothing other than nature things that I have. With your head held high.

18:55With my gooch intact and happy.

18:59Joanne McNally:But also, you know that I was recommended to use lube to take out my hair extensions. So if push comes to shove, you can always, if you were in an eye-to-eye situation, you did feel you needed to explain yourself and you were a bit embarrassed about having that dry a vagina, you could say you were using it for your hair extensions. Life hack. By the way, can I just say on the gooch thing in medical settings, healthcare providers usually call it the perineum rather than the gooch. Not always, you'll notice I said. Usually. Usually, but no one's saying the Boris. That's literally a Joanne McNally phrase.

19:37Joanne McNally:Sorry. Listeners, please get in touch if you're familiar with the medical terms. Because I'm telling you now, they will be. They will be. Okay. Yeah. I've got emails for you. Oh, do you? Okay, fine. Hey girls and Joe, I'm a huge fan. Was listening to the pod and the story about the guy being good looking and a shit ride and it reminded me about someone I hooked up with. To give you some context, I'm a 22-year-old lesbian from Dublin and I was going through a bad breakup last year when I met the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. A few drinks later, we're flirting and touching like we're the only people in the world.

20:18I thought she was 30-ish, but as I said before, the most beautiful woman ever, and I'm known to date older people, so I didn't care. After having the best night and sex of my life, there was one fault, which was our age. She was 52 and I was 21. We both decided because it was amazing that we couldn't give a shit. But with the age difference, it didn't last long. I think about her every day. She was amazing and funny. Honestly, she was everything I was looking for. But that one fault ruined it. So I hope that girl who's seen that guy worked it out with him. Thanks to all the laughs for the last few years.

20:54You guys are amazing.

20:55Joanne McNally:I will acknowledge my hypocrisy in this situation. And that is, your man from Red Hot Chili Peppers and his nine-year-old girlfriend, I'm like, disgusting, hideous, inappropriate. when it's two women, I'm like, adorable. We support. I pray it works. Because it just feels different. I still feel the same. I still feel like the reason that this didn't happen is because she was 52 and she kind of knew that it's just 22 is a bit young. It is. It's a bit full on. And I think that, yeah, I would feel the same. it's more just here this isn't going to work it's less about what people would think I think with two women and also obviously if they didn't cop there was such a big an age difference that physically obviously doesn't look like there's such a big age difference but it does come down to lifestyle and where you are in your life and like 22 I mean my god I think I was still living at home at 22 no I think I was in Australia anyway my point is I was no way in a position to build a life with a woman in her 50s or a man I could have really because they're easier.

22:12I just feel like just that there's just such a, it's just too, I was saying this to Sven yesterday because I was again talking about Anthony Kiedis to Sven, but I was like, it's just, if it's like a 35 year old going out with like a 75 year old, it's just different because at least when you're 35, like you've kind of got to a point in your life where you've like, you've been through so much, But when you're 22, you're just starting out. You're just getting going.