MTGM EXTRA! "It's the small things, isn't it?"

0:02This is a Global Player original podcast.

0:05Joanne McNally:I want it on the record now. I'd like to be, I'd like to donate myself, all of myself. I've got a degree from Harvard. Do you? You were never an issue, not once. Once you close the bedroom door, when do you answer? Exactly. I struggle to contribute here because I'm gross.

0:32Well, we just did the pod without her. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with Mevo Williams, Jo Attawell and Joanna somewhere around her room. And a vacant microphone somewhere in Australia. She's putting on a lip. She's still got the shades on, don't worry. She hasn't completely lost her mind. Shades are glued to the face.

0:52Joanne McNally:Just putting a little lippy on there. Just putting a lip on. Just putting a lip on there. That has made a big difference I have to say What a diff Do you know why I put a lip on? Because you like my lipstick Well Because Well Yes of course Sure Let's make it about you But otherwise As I was waiting to log on I heard Jo Say Vogue Your hair looks nice today And I Felt A couple of things Disgust Jealousy Yeah Pettiness Remorse Sorry Jo I'm not finished with all my feelings. So sorry. Legally threatened. Yeah, fair. Yeah, and I said, I'm going to do two things. I'm going to put on a lip so I get a compliment and I'm also going to ring HR.

1:42So what are you after me saying? Your lips look nice today.

1:46Joanne McNally:Oh, I'm sorry. Would that be such a stretch, Jo? I think that that's a bit much. It's a bit sexual. The lips are just, they're just a sexual part. They're my face lips. I'm not rubbing my crotch down the camera Jesus Joanne just gone and pulled her trousers in and put some lip gloss on now we know it's your face lips but it's the same kind of thing I'm not going full Katy Perry and Rose what's her face I mean can we just can we discuss that for a second I don't know what we can discuss because obviously it's a legal case but I think you're one Ruby Rose I don't make you feel weird because I'm actually starting to give context to things and it's really freaking Joanna It's upsetting me It worries her, that's her job, I read the emails Yeah, I've had to up my meds I'm very disturbed by the whole thing I'm unsettled with the sudden context that Vogue is giving stories, I'm like what's my role?

2:45Joanne McNally:Who am I? Who am I now? I don't exist I don't exist She reads the emails, now she gives context I don't understand. What's the point of me? I've only started realizing maybe I don't know where. I don't even have, Joe doesn't even notice my lips. My hair hasn't been done, by the way. Tadley did my hair two days ago. No, I've noticed people and I said, I text Ben and I was like, Ben, I need your psychologist who did your ADHD test, which Spenny has. And I was like, I just need to do it now because I've started noticing people are like, what? Because I'm like going in and out of conversation so much.

3:21I think they think that there's something wrong with me, which there is. But that's why I'm trying my best to be like, OK, let people understand what you're talking about. Oh, sorry.

3:32Joanne McNally:Oh, I understand. Yeah, fair enough. And I do think it is useful and helpful because there is nothing worse than listening to two people talk an absolute shit without any, when they've no respect for the fact that you, you know, you don't know what they're talking about. Also, you know, fills the time, doesn't it? I feel like I don't get a head start though now anymore. Because I've always been ahead of everyone in the conversation and I don't care about where they are in it. But now I feel like we're starting at the same place and I don't like it as much. We need to catch you on the TBC. No, not the TBC.

4:07Joanne McNally:That's to be confirmed. What's the word there? TCB. TCB, that's the one. So, a couple of things. Now, a couple of things are going on this week and me and Vogue, we've always been very clear. we stay in our lane and our lane is furry rainbows and fiddly sticks. However Oh, here we go. Be weird if she was ever in a hotel. It's like she times it. That like it will be delivered when we are only online. Oh my God. Dinner's here.

4:41She's got a crate of something. What the hell is in there? That's like an entire case of wine. she's just had pushed through the door. We don't know how long she's in Sydney for. Oh God, I just, I wish I liked wine. Well, do you know what? No offence, Joanne or Jo. I used to associate wine with like billionaires on yachts. Joanne, sorry, I'm just, I want to caveat no offence just before I say this. I used to think of wine like as billionaires on yachts, like sipping like glasses of red wine and stuff. And I always used to think it was super fun.

5:14Joanne McNally:I can see where this is going and I'll tell you now, Offense taken. Offense taken. But I was. I can smell right as I'm going. Offense taken. I always wanted to be like one of those like glamorous people in like those clubs and Saint-Tropez. I've never been to Saint-Tropez, but like with a chilled glass of wine. And then you two fucking yobbs the way you drink pints of wine in front of me. I'm like, I don't know how classy this is. Sorry, that is not a pint. it is a that's like that's a that's one of those glasses you put your mouthwash in at the sink in a hotel

5:52it actually is there's no wine glasses in this room yeah but you guys think that I'm a loser because I want to order milk at the table like the state of you two with your pints of wine sitting there thinking you're classy well you're not you look like trash

6:06Joanne McNally:I don't think I don't think well in fairness now you can say what you want about myself and Joe Atty Wells but I don't think either of us have ever claimed to be classy, have we Jo? Not once, no thank you. Not a crustacean between us. Anyway. Before I did this podcast, people actually did have the perception that there was a bit of class to me, by the way. I'll have you know. And thank God. We fixed that for you, you're welcome. Not people I knew, obviously. But strangers thought she might be classy. Me and Jo work night and day to make you relatable. It is a full-time job. We work through the night.

6:47Joanne McNally:Dragging down. PowerPoint presentations, plans. We're like pushing little boats around maps to make you relatable. You're welcome. Someone mailed me and they were like, oh my God, I just saw you on my flight and you were flying economy. I was really taking a break. I was like, we fly it often. I should post-abate that more. Yeah, you should. You should. You should. you should be checking into the dart more the dart is our kind of train system in Ireland Joanne I've been on the dart more recently than you've been on the dart when was the last time you were on the dart how many years this isn't a competition I am in Australia on a tour excuse you I don't have time to get the dart what public transport system do they have in Australia do you even know yeah it's a long black car with blackout windows and the driver wears a little hat and it's called Charles That's all I know

7:47Okay So Ruby Rose and Katy Perry Ruby Rose is an Australian She was, she started out as a DJ She's beautiful She's this Australian DJ And then she went into acting And she was doing quite a lot of acting And she was doing Orange is the New Black And like really big shows But from what I gather She was quite difficult to work with and then ended up stopping doing stuff like that because of the difficulties. I don't actually know too much about it other than she used to be Catwoman and then she kind of lost the job as Catwoman because she was very difficult to work with. Anyway, she has come out and claimed that Katy Perry sexually assaulted her years ago in a nightclub by rubbing her vagina in her face.

8:34Joanne McNally:I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say this now. and now look I am not a solicitor I am not a psychiatrist Are you not? I know I know I know I actually I meant to say that to you a couple of years ago because I know you think that I am those things but I'm not Yeah I just bought the paperwork online in Abu Dhabi but I'm not actually qualified but I actually I had a degree from Harvard Do you? sorry yeah you wouldn't know actually but you don't remember I did that like weekend course about cholera from Harvard have these online courses yeah you're sorry you brought it up now aren't you yeah remember now I have a degree in cholera it took me two days anyway that's not the point what a useful degree actually well it actually is really useful because I really enjoyed it I find it quite pleasant Theodore would love for you to talk to him about cholera because he has a Tony that tells about all these olden day diseases oh really yeah he loves it I actually picked up a book I was sauntering around a bookshop the other day looking for a Louise O 'Neill's new book Whatever Happened to Madeleine's Town which isn't hasn't quite made it to Australia yet it is out but it hasn't made it to Australia yet although then I rang Louise I was like where's the fucking book and she was like it is there somewhere I was like well it's not in Boffin's bookshop in Perth anyway I was walking around killing time and there was a book on the book title was everything leads to tuberculosis.

10:08Joanne McNally:So obviously I picked it up, had a read of the back and I was like, this is a bit of me now. And I look forward to, I didn't buy it in the end, it was about the fact that like we'll never get rid of tuberculosis and the history of tuberculosis. But I look forward to when Theodore is old enough that we can discuss Medi-Eval. He is old enough. He absolutely, because you know Adam Kay, who wrote This Is Gonna Hurt and he's a comedian as well. He's absolutely brilliant. He basically, He writes some kids books that are really, really funny. Yeah. But then he does these Tonys. And on the Tonys, like usually I go into T's room and I take the Tony down.

10:43It's a box of play stories. Thank you. And he has.

10:46Joanne McNally:I raised my, for the listener, I raised my hand there, which I do now for her to explain herself. A Tony. I thought it was like an award. I thought, yeah. He's looking at a play. It's like, it's like K. Theatrical award. Okay. He's a few and one is like K's Marvel of Medicines. And like, I usually go in because some of them are very childish. And like, there's a Peppa Pig one and I'll just take it off and put the Tony away when they fall asleep. I go in to get to ease and sometimes I stop and I'm standing there for ages listening to Adam Gray. He's talking about like, he's telling them about grave robbers.

11:15So like back in the day when people used to rob graves for medical science. So like, and they had to like try and like stop. It was so, like it was happening so often that they had to try and find ways. Honestly, I was standing there for 15 minutes. I was like, oh, get out. Come on.

11:30Joanne McNally:No one would donate their bodies because no one cared about science and they were so religious at the time that it was sacrosanct, they wouldn't do it. So the doctors and scientists would just hire people to go out and rob the bodies. Thank God! That's how you will one day be treated for your syphilis. If it wasn't for these people. Like, once you're dead, you're dead. After I listened to that podcast, Jo? Please don't say you don't believe in the afterlife. Jo, what was the podcast I listened to? What was it about? It says you're one giving out about my context. what podcast did I listen to Jo?

12:04Oh hang on a second

12:05Joanne McNally:till I climb inside your brain. After I listened to the podcast Noble which I have spoken about on here before and recommended on Insta which was the story true story podcast about a funeral home which basically this guy inherited the funeral home from his father. Oh yeah. Do you not remember this? I remember that. And then things got out of control he didn't keep up with the business he couldn't cope with it ultimately I think he just didn't he didn't want the business but he didn't want to let his father down and then it transpired that he hadn't been taking care of the bodies the way you're supposed to and it went to court and it was all about like the legalities of you know what is it if you don't treat a body well kind of thing like you know because they're already dead so like what are the legalities behind it where was why am I talking about this so sorry yeah so to circle back around after I listened to Noble I was like yeah I don't think I care what they do with my body like I don't think I I think when you're gone you're gone the soul is gone I know somebody though who works within medicine and has worked on medical bodies and I've seen pictures and it's not what you think it's going to be some of these bodies are like 30-40 years old just keep pulling them back out because no one will donate and I want it on the record now I'd like to be I'd like to donate myself all of myself Okay well we'll watch Joanne get shot out of the car and see how far it goes I swear to God and I know it's very undignified some of the stuff they do it's like proper it's not the stuff you want but then imagine but imagine you're part of the cure for cataracts Listen I'm happy I'm happy to donate my organs and all that stuff Yeah I don't actually have a card but I think if you don't have a card it just assumes that you will donate your organ so I am going to donate my organs but I just I want I just want to have a resting place but you also have to die in a very specific way to be able to donate your organs you have to be and I plan to and I plan to okay anyway stunning so we've all Jo you haven't suggested you're going to donate anything oh yeah no that's they can have the lot I don't care the whole bod just do what you need fire it into space whatever yeah oh god I wouldn't like to be in space on my own oh no no you're grand folks I'm not I'm not being bad but that's not that's not your future

14:34Joanne McNally:so I'm gonna say this I don't say and I look I could be wrong we don't have the inside scoop we're just consuming the same shit on the internet as everyone else but I I feel very very I have a lot of sympathy for Katy Perry I think Katy Perry has been put through the ringer of late between the tour show that didn't go well everyone was slagging her off between her ex Russell Brand who's now come out admittedly rolled a 16 year old like blah blah blah whatever like whatever whatever way that goes we'll watch that play out it's not a great connection and now Ruby Rose has come out and said she was sexually also she's broken up with your man Orlando Bloom and she is randomly going out with the fucking French what was your man's McCrown Justin Trudeau not McCrown who's McCrown French presence Justin Trudeau Canadian Prime Minister am I correct?

15:28Joanne McNally:Yeah Is he still is he still acting Prime Minister or is he retired? Retired Anyway that's a wild set up who set that up? Anyway and now she's been accused of sexual assault by your one Ruby Rose Now we believe all women blah blah blah but in the same breath you have to unpack this shit if someone goes large with an accusation online you're like this ruins people's lives and the little bit that I've read around it I'm like it sounds like they're all locked and acting the bollocks in a nightclub that's what it sounds like to me Ruby Rhodes has a history of kind of very fatalistic behaviour I would say but Vogue you know you know and I know what it's like when there's an article now more so you my articles are like thank God touch wood few and far between imagine articles going around you're accused of sexual assault that is a big fucking swing that is a massive massive swing I feel like there is going to be a little turn for Katy Perry because I do feel like did you see Hayley Bieber as well the space thing the space thing didn't help her I know but I think I think though that like even with Hayley Bieber Hayley Bieber went through loads of shit and then she's come out and she said oh I don't need your apologies I've done the therapy thank you I think with Katy Perry I'm not really sure I know it's a terrible article obviously to go out about you and just something so insane but like sexual assault it's kind of the worst It's up there with murder Really But I think with the Russell Brand stuff I think that her association with him is less now Because He treated her like such shit But Russell Brand Coming on And basically trying to say Well I was a very young 30 year old Sleeping with a 16 year old So it was okay It's like hang on Okay So they're young and 16 But you're 30 And should not Just because you can Sleep with a 16 year old Doesn't mean as a 30 year old man You should be sleeping with a 16 year old What I will say is there are so many men, there are so many 30 year olds who are riding 16 year olds.

17:36Joanne McNally:There are so many 30 year old men who want to ride 16 year olds. Like there's no point pretending he's like a once off. There's no point. It doesn't help anyone. And the fact that he has a following the way he does and people actually are like, oh, you're right. It's like, how do we live in this world that it's okay to be? He's gone through the Christianity pipeline now, which means he's in a safe space. He can go through the Christianity pipeline. I'm just saying he is not an unusual version of a man. No, of course he isn't. Of course he isn't. No, that's all I say. That's all I say. Allegedly, blah, blah, blah.

18:10Joanne McNally:The way Jo likes us to say all the time. Emails. Would you like an email? There you go. Okay, right. I'm going to read Petty. Perfect. Let's go back to her. Back to Petty. Petty. Yes. Hi, love the pod. Thought I would let you know my latest Petty move since I haven't heard any in a while. Please keep me in on. Do people still email us, Jo? We must do a shout out. I mean, there are more than we could ever get through. Thank you very much. Really? Oh, thank God. That's great news. Sorry that we don't get to all of them. But I do read all of them. And I should say, actually, as well, for those of you, and this does happen quite often, who send an email and then 12 hours later, you send another email saying, actually, please don't read this out because I've decided against it.

18:57I always see that email and don't worry, your email will never go in.

19:03Joanne McNally:No, we don't even we don't even get to read it. No, we don't read that. No. And Joe, in fairness, Joe is. Yeah, he's a he's a safe guy. He's a he's a he's a good guy. Yeah. Me and my ex broke up as among many reasons. I saw him trying to meet up with someone he used to sleep with on a field on a work trip. Apparently that was only a dick move if I don't trust him. When we lived together, he used to drop. So it meant she didn't. He was like, oh, you don't trust me. Oh, wow. Okay. We're gaslighting. When we. The gas is lit. Let's go. There's a fire. Yeah. When we lived together, he used to drop his daily contact lenses on the floor by the bed, leaving a mountain of crusty tiny bowls, which was inevitably spread around the house.

19:52And he never hoovered them up. That's disgusting. We agreed he would put them in a little gross box by the bed. Why he couldn't put them in a bin, I still don't understand. In a bid to be helpful as he was moving out, I collected some of his stuff into bags. In an instinctively petty move, I emptied the box of crusty used contact lenses into one of the bags of clothes for him to pick apart from his clothes for months to come. It's the small things, isn't it?

20:20Joanne McNally:Sorry, can I say, and this says more about me than this person, I thought that was going to a much darker place. We're used to people like sewing fish into curtains. I thought she was putting cyanide in the contact lenses or a toilet duck and she was going to blind him he's to fish them out good enough for him good enough for him he seems a bit grim that I don't even think he'll probably notice that they are on the clothes I think you were very restrained and he's sounding a very kind person and he was absolutely going to try and ride that woman so you've done the right thing fair play I also think that sometimes when you like people that you have to like living with somebody is really difficult and like I remember I used to be kind of dating this guy I might have said it before and he used to smoke rollies and he would just leave shit everywhere it was just like everywhere all over the place and I was like it's just the dirtiest habit to be going around and like leaving crusty contact lenses I know I couldn't live with someone like that I've yeah I I struggle to contribute here because I'm gross you're not that you're not that gross you're not crusty I don't know actually maybe you are are you?

21:41I like

21:41Joanne McNally:to do what I like to do and that's why I find living with people difficult because when traditionally the men that I've lived with have been kind of more domestic than me and then they give out to me and then I can't bear being given out to by them and then I want to move out and then we start fighting and it just goes around and around in circles. Well, can I be honest? When you used to live downstairs, never a problem with you downstairs. You were never an issue. Not once. Once you close the bedroom door, when Joanne said it, it's fine. It disappears. Gone. Dora, just set fire to that wing. Don't bother, Dora.

22:20That place is gone. We had one of Spenny's friends staying and he stayed for a couple of weeks when we were away and we were getting update pictures of how bad the entire apartment was looking like every single it was like it was like he had just I didn't even know he owned that much stuff it was so bad so you were like a little I was fine

22:39Joanne McNally:I do think there's a switch there's something it's it's it's a chromosome you either have it or you don't and I for me to look like I'm kind of low level organized or tidy takes serious work. It just does. And I just accept that about myself now. I just do. Yeah. But I think this woman was very restrained. You could have done a lot worse with his contact lenses. And you know what? At least he's fucking half blind. Fuck him. Thanks for listening, everybody.

23:13This has been a Global Player original production.