MTGM EXTRA! "Lesbian circularity..."

0:02This is a Global Player original podcast.

0:05Joanne McNally:I thought you were going to be a little more discreet, if I'm honest, folk. You know I'm not discreet. I don't know what you're expecting. And while it brings out the worst and the lowest in me, because I'm like, oh my God, who cares? Read a novel in the same breath. I care. Do you know the deets? Do you know the deets? Jo, do you know the deets? Do you know the deets? I'm not just going to randomly post about being married to Spencer in November. That is the month I post about my dead dad. Women calling each other mean on the internet is, I'm going to go so far as to say, pathetic.

0:41Joanne McNally:Hello, welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Jerome McNally, Vogue Williams. Vogue, I can see Spencer's... Spenny, we can see you're naked again. This is on YouTube. he knows this man knows exactly what he's doing just for the listeners I logged in I was logged in but there was something wrong with my camera and I hadn't kind of registered I was here yet and Spencer was bollock naked like basically pointing his penis at the camera in a kind of violent aggressive way it couldn't have been more in the camera and you said stop stop they're going to be on soon and I was like no no no I'm here I'm here blinded by the light blinded by the light poor Spano he's got running running penis which isn't his best no no no no I'm not gonna I'm not gonna cast judgment what I will say is there was a here he comes back here he goes he's delighted with himself a significant I'm sorry you had to see that okay I'll make sure that next time I've got at least a semi on alright thank you I wouldn't mind you're gonna wish you had a semi when this goes up on on YouTube because we're putting up the whole dick.

1:52Joanne McNally:To be fair, he was actually covering his dick. He was covering his dick. I don't mind. Oh, did you see any dick? No, he had his hand over it. Oh, he shouldn't see it. Trails it down, please. I think mine. Okay, we're recording now. I don't even know yours, darling. I think he'd his hand over it if he didn't. He's got a thumb for a penis. He's a shower. He's a shower. He is a shower. A significant tan line. That man has clearly been in St. Barthes for six months. I am not somebody to send an unsolicited dick pic I wouldn't do something like that So I'm just wondering Is it okay for me to send you A full on picture of Spennies When it's like On a semi Can I send you a semi pic Is that okay I'll be honest folk It's a while I like to receive post I'm traditional in that regard Something Like a physical picture Well yeah It'd be nice to get something through the post That isn't from the revenue So yes that would be sweet framed or unframed unframed if you wouldn't mind framing is quite expensive as you know the second that came out of your mouth I knew you were going to realise that was going to be an additional cost that you weren't willing to provide so I know I knew that I'd be framing it myself perhaps you could just get it laminated oh that's nice laminated or it turned into a key ring oh I could get you a key ring Joanne hello I could get it printed on a pillow you're welcome I have some news oh fantastic Yeah.

3:19Joanne McNally:I would like to announce to our listeners and any newspapers that I have a surrogate.

3:36Oh, yeah.

3:37Joanne McNally:Who's that? Well, it was supposed to be anonymous until she went like a fucking thirst trap on the beach and announced herself to try and get the traction back towards her. It's you, Vogue, as you know. I've paid you good money to have an anonymous child for me. And now you've just ripped it up in the Daily Mail with your own announcement, pushing your belly against Spencer's. It's not even his sperm, as you know. I got it from Denmark. It's nothing to do with him. It's nothing to do with either of us, actually. This is completely down to Joanne. I'm a mere carrier for her. You are a carrier for my egg.

4:12Joanne McNally:Magaluf, if anyone's been to the show, they know that I'm in the market to have a child called Magaluf McNally. and I thought you were going to be a little more discreet if I'm honest, folk. You know I'm not discreet. I don't know what you're expecting. I obviously was going to get a bit of traction for it myself before I handed it over. Yeah, I know. Well, I would like some of the money back because some of that money did go into some level of anonymity. I was going to try and pull off the French baby myself. Okay, well, you can forget about the Hello shoot. I'm not doing the Hello shoot for you.

4:39You can forget about it. We're not going to be holding hands on the cover of Hello anymore. So if you're going to take money back, I'm not having it okay

4:47Joanne McNally:what I want to be on the banner of the Daily Mail they're so brutal where they take people on and off that banner of the Daily Mail it's awful it's so mean congratulations Vogue is having a sixth child yes I am it's very exciting news I Joanne has thankfully forgotten many times I told Joanne when I was I think I was like minus a week pregnant and I told Joanne and she keeps forgetting which is just fantastic news for me I've had to tell Joan I've had to tell her this is four times I've had to remind you Spencer was still napping in the wet patch and you were like I'm pregnant and I was like oh my god amazing news amazing news and then I kept forgetting because I don't see you physically anymore which is so sad because we're travelling all the time and also I guess because it's not your first pregnancy I don't know why I just kept, and you don't really talk about it that much.

5:46No, because I feel like it's the fourth pregnancy and there's not as many people care. That's sad, that's sad for the baby. It's not really sad because I had my time. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm going on to my fourth child. I get this. It's not my first rodeo and I'm really happy about it. But I also, like I have this thing where I just, like I have my own reasons for not wanting to, to like, I just wanted to keep it for as long as I could before coming out and saying it. Firstly, because I don't really think anyone cares that much. And secondly, because I just have reasonings for wanting, just making sure that everything's okay.

6:22Joanne McNally:You know what I mean? Of course. And also there's a lot of drama when people announce pregnancies and you don't want to go too soon and it's all in your own time and when you feel safe and ready, you know. Although I did say... I didn't really feel that ready. I didn't really want to I was going to try and hold it for a little while longer but it was the boobs probably gave me away a lot Well I want to say that I acknowledge that I'm part of the problem because now when I say I forgot, I kept forgetting she was pregnant just to make me not sound like an absolute sociopath it was that she told me she was pregnant I obviously knew you were pregnant but then we'd make plans and I'd be like oh my god yeah we'll go for pre-drinks here and blah blah blah and she's like do you want to be pregnant?

7:07I was like fuck!

7:08Joanne McNally:so it wasn't that like she had to keep telling me it wasn't like she had to keep announcing it to me like your mom from Memento or like it's not like I've got a seven second memory 50 first dates where she has to keep bringing me to the beach you're not going to even notice but it just kept slipping my mind I would say it just kept slipping my mind but in the same breath you were away somewhere where were you I assume in St. Parts and you were wearing something a little revealing and I was like oh my god she looks pregnant straight to tattle she's pregnant she's pregnant she's pregnant I would have I would have been I would have been screen grabbing and sending it to friends for out of nosiness I would have been like she looks I don't know how you got away with it she looks to me you look pregnant because you're always quite small and I was like the rack is the rack is back the rack is back the rack is back the rack is back yeah I nearly was going to take the rack into a surgeon and be like, this is the rack I want.

8:12Just make this happen at this stage because I'm quite happy. It's so strange to have boobs. It's such a weird feeling, but I kind of like it.

8:20Joanne McNally:Yeah, of course. It's empowering. It's like me with my hair extensions. Somebody was like, how many sunflower seeds are you eating?

8:29I was like, bucket loads. I'm like a bird. It's all I eat.

8:32Joanne McNally:Yeah, I'm on a drip. So during the night I'm still having Forest fed Sunflower seeds Obviously Now you're pregnant This is huge news Two questions Yeah Am I finally Going to get The maternity leave That I deserve I'm sorry Joan It's actually probably Going to be worse than before Because I really Am trying to prove a point That pregnant people Aren't in Incapacitated In any way But you are Vogue You are incapacitated I'm incapacitated And I don't even Have any children Listen, I've invited you to the labour That's enough for you You're getting gas and air I'm giving you a treat this time around Because it is most definitely the last time So you can come in I've already asked the doctor She said, yeah, you can have your friend come in And I haven't mentioned the gas and air, obviously But you're allowed in Well, that was my next question Well, yes, I have you You're already on the list My two great hopes for this pregnancy No, three, obviously Healthy baby, healthy baby Ten fingers, ten toes Healthy baby, exactly Blah, blah, blah so we know it's not AI because if it's got more than that then people will know it's AI and the other thing is I would like you to incapacitate yourself for a couple of weeks so me and Joe can enjoy whenever the baby's due some time off and also I do want a little toke on the gas in there I'll tell you what if the baby comes early and it's at a time where not as many people are listening I'll consider two weeks off but if not I'm afraid I shall be recording from my husband.

10:01Jesus Christ.

10:03Joanne McNally:Here we fucking go again. She's going to be cutting the placenta on YouTube. Me and Jara are going to be sitting there in the horrors. We're booked in to record a bonus episode between contractions. Perfect. Perfect. I'm like, no, Vogue, you always read the emails.

10:22Joanne McNally:It's not my job. It's not my job. Anyway, listen, congratulations. And I'm not going to say what gender I want it to be because what I know. You know what that is. No, no. Do you not remember what it is? I told you what it was. I do remember. I'm just saying, to be diplomatic, I would be happy with a hybrid baby. Bit of both. Okay, well, I will work on that hybrid for you. The great thing about Joanne forgetting and her being away is that like she won't find me boring. And you know the way people are like, oh, she's still pregnant. So I've held it in long enough that I feel like I won't be annoying.

11:00Also, do you know what? I don't know. There's headlines that are being written about us like before I announced the baby. Not about you, me. About me and Sven. Oh God. The breakup shit is still there. Oh, there's... You say us, Wauk. I assume it's us. Not you and him. It's the other. It's the less important us. It's the other us. It's not you and I. But all the breakup stuff is still there. It's like any headline that's written about Spenny and I, it's like, oh, they're trying to get through marital. And it's like, sorry. And I figured out. So I know where it's arisen from because I've read it.

11:45So they've said the rumors have come from when Vogue forgot to mark her anniversary, her seventh anniversary with Spencer in November. First of all, we didn't get married in November, nor did we get together in November. So I'm not just going to randomly post about being married to Spencer in November. That is the month I post about my dead dad. Exactly.

12:14Joanne McNally:November is sacred. It's called social strategy, okay? Okay. It's called social media strategy. Vogue, can I just say... I can't post about it because my mom even hates my dad in death. I'm like, Jesus, mom, he's paid the ultimate price. Can I not post?

12:34Joanne McNally:Nope. Now that is how you hold a grudge. She's offline for nine days. Poor Freddie spinning in his grave. Listen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Sandra knows how to hold a grudge. It's one of the most impressive things about her. But you know the way you're always, the breakup accusations, et cetera. would you not like do you know what I'd love because I love any sort my algorithm I've said this before my Insta algorithm is very much set to public statements and apologies so it could be I could I could I could I could come across somebody they're like I just want to say like officially here I've read the rumours I've heard the accusations and they'll have seven followers but I'm in I'm like I don't know what this is but I'm in and then I'll try and go down and find out what the drama was So I should use it to my advantage.

13:27Joanne McNally:I'm saying there's all that stuff going on at the moment about Alex Cooper, Alex Earl. Have we heard? Have we heard? Of course we've heard, but we're waiting. We're waiting. Do you know the deets? Do you know the deets? Joe, do you know the deets? Do you know the deets? Give me the deets. Alex Cooper hosts Call Her Daddy. Alex Earl, big TikTok person. Alex Cooper had a fallout with her previous podcast wife, who's now got a book coming out, a memoir about the whole thing. They've all worked for Barstool. Alex Cooper hired Alex Earl on her podcast channel there's been a fallout it's all real girl on girl crime very American everyone looks the same they're all these blonde kind of high titted women they're all stunning and gorgeous they're all kind of scrapping online and while it brings out the worst and the lowest in me because I'm like oh my god who cares read a novel in the same breath I can't so badly exactly in the same breath you're in and you want to find out what's going on and everyone's issuing statements and apologies and I just feel like Vogue, you could get us a little bit of that traction because their Instas and TikToks are popping like it's fucking hot.

14:28Do you know what I could do? I could just say, yeah, you know what, you're right. We're broken up. We have broken up. And then the headlines would be like, oh, they're the most amicable couple ever. And we're just there like scoring each other on the street, like snogging away. And everyone's like, oh, they're broken up. How amicable of them. So I might as well actually just join in on it and be like, yeah, actually, you're right. We have broken up.

14:48Joanne McNally:If you ever do break up, I want the exclusive.

14:56Joanne McNally:On the Alex Cooper, Alex Earl of it, I think we should do a bit of a deep dive, even though there's a part of me that's like, this is below me, but there's a bigger part that's like, stick it to my veins. Joanne, I've already done a massive deep dive on this. I am knee deep in that situation. I'm ankle deep. I'm toe deep. You're only deep. Oh my God. Well, I'm only at the knees. I'm ready to go in more, but there's a I'm waiting I can't go full I can't go full in until I know what Alex Earle is going to come back and say because she hasn't brought the receipts back and where are the receipts we need to see it Alex Cooper has some receipts about this other girl who's now waded in on the war I mean I want to get involved like the publicity surrounding it is just incredible Sorry I've just realised that I presented ankle deep as deeper than knee deep when actually it's Oh I thought you were well no because I was working on the assumption that you had gone in head first.

15:52No, I was. And it was only the toes left. That's how I was working out there. So I thought that you were deeper than I was.

15:58Joanne McNally:While you were talking there, I was like, Joanne, no, no, no. That made no sense what you said there. It made total sense to me because I thought you had dove in. So I thought you only had the toes left to go in. Whereas you're saying you stepped in. So, okay. Well, I am eye deep. There's nothing left. Scalp, cup of grace. She's up to the neck. Up the greys. A couple of greys at the top. That's what I can see. I am immersed. Immersed. And chicken stir fries involved now. That's your one, yeah. I can't remember her. Chicken shop? Brianna. No, Brianna chicken stir fries involved now. She went out with that country western singer.

16:39Joanne McNally:Like, the whole thing is, it's so toxic. And do you know what? I will actually say, it's fucking pathetic. Like, I would never, in my wildest dreams, air my dirty laundry. You like that? I think it's awful I think it's the lowest of the low and women they're literally professional women calling each other mean who cares who cares I know but it's it's kind of it's kind of childish use a better word you're so mean women are mean sometimes women are mean sometimes women are mean you think that women can never be mean sometimes or never prioritize their business it's so it's so juvenile but in the same breath we're all over it we're all over like a rat up a fucking drain pipe hopefully for next week's record we'll have the receipts from Alec Daryl and then we can do our proper deep dive on it.

17:22Not that we care. We don't care. We don't care. But we're going to spend

17:26Joanne McNally:an entire episode on it. I'll have a PowerPoint presentation. But we don't care. And that's why I know we are part of the problem. But in the same breath, calling women mean, it's, it's, we're not, it's, it's, it doesn't bode well for anyone. Do you know? No. It just doesn't. Women are allowed to be mean. You never hear men calling it, you never hear Russell Crowe. outing doing a smack talk against Brad Pitt for being mean like you just would never hear it where the fuck did Russell Crowe come from I don't know Australia did you ever been to him is he New Zealand where is he from he's Australian he's Australian he used to live in my apartment block do you not remember he lived in my apartment block dear friend I do remember dear friend of mine it's your dinner party story of course I remember I don't know I remember I'm into him all the time close as anything there was a vibe that was just the point I wanted to make and we will do a deeper dive on it that I think women calling each other mean on the internet is I'm going to go so far as to say pathetic I've no idea why I care I don't know why I know all of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kids names I don't know why I know these things but I do and I find myself just being interested in things that like I wish I'd just like read a book about World War 2 or something but I just find some of these stuff more interesting well I'm sorry now if you had any information on the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie you would know it was bigger than World War II there was a whole vineyard they had to split up and it was toxic as fuck I even know what the wine was called from the vineyard and I don't like wine that's how invested I was okay hey girls and Jo I think it's time we lesbian community let Vogue, Joanne and Jo in on just how chaotic the lesbian world can be I would like to say I'm very involved in the lesbian world already I know lots about it I have a lesbian sister you were always saying how much easier you both think it would be to navigate the lesbian world as opposed to the world of straight men.

19:21But let me tell you something. It's horror.

19:25Joanne McNally:I'll interrupt you there. Just because you have a lesbian sister, my brother's an accountant and I am numerically dyslexic, so it doesn't give you any expertise. Carry on, please. I would disagree. I know. We're very close. Not that close. Sorry, I got to work with him. Yeah, I know exactly. You got to work with him, do you? Yeah. Bring in his lunchboxes. She absolutely loves her timeslables. cannot get enough of them. Absolutely adores it. Wants to take on her own taxes next year, so she says. This is a concept I like to call lesbian circularity. Basically, we all share each other. I knew that, Joanne.

20:01So did I. I've said this a million times. I've said it. I'm from Hoth. We all share each other there too. If all of my friends, we used to, it just was like a circular thing. The boys would, we'd wait until somebody broke up with somebody, then you'd go out with them. it was just the circle numbers game

20:18Joanne McNally:how should have that app that Iceland has to see are you riding anyone who's actually DNA connected to you do you know Iceland has that app how should have yeah there's an app in Iceland yes Jo Jo yes Jo Jo yeah I can see her little doubt in BDIs I'm just amused by it I didn't know it was a thing yeah there's an app there because it's very tiny I think it's Iceland and Iceland is small when you meet someone you can put your bits and bobs into this app and it'll tell you if you are genetically related and basically are you going to have weird kids. It includes genealogical data for over 95 % of the population helping users avoid accidentally dating relatives by bumping phones together to check.

21:05I can't stand when you date a relative by accident. It's so embarrassing, isn't it? It's all very black mirror. This is what it's going to be like on Mars. Okay. So this is a concept we call lesbian circularity. Basically, we all share each other. I think the easiest way to describe to be would to use Vogue's many ex-husbands as an example. When Vogue... Okay. When Vogue... I'm listening. I'm in. When Vogue divorced husband one and got with husband two, she didn't have to do her research to see if one and two had been together before. Or so I'd hope.

21:41Joanne McNally:Oh, I didn't think about that part. Mm-hmm. I think that's like, you're just, maybe I did have to do my research. You don't know. You don't know what they're into. But that's what us lesbians have to do all the time. See, in the lesbian world, it goes full circle. Number one got with Vogue, who then got with number two. But as far as it goes, it's linear. But in the gay world, circular. So imagine Vogue gets with number one and with number two, but number two could also get with number one. do you see the predicament? And given the fact the pool is so much smaller, this tends to happen a lot. It does.