MTGM EXTRA! "Should I...?"

6:36Joanne McNally:but I'm not going to bring I'm not going to bring up that ladder rope but would you like to go to Japan here's a business class ticket for Japan babe yeah that's exactly that's all you're getting out of me I apologise yeah I'm sorry but you did leave the house for an hour Spencer So what was a girl to do? Yeah, precisely. I actually think apologising. Remember I was telling you my... I was actually talking about this, about you and me in an interview I did the other week about the Estelle, Esther... Sorry, I just woke up, but I was in late last night for Michelle. Esther Perel. Yeah. One of my favourite kind of...

7:10Joanne McNally:Is she the left them? No, that's Mel Robbins. Esther Perel, you'd love her. She is a sexual psychologist, I guess. oh you've sent me

7:20Vogue Williams:stuff of hers before yes

7:21Joanne McNally:and she's very much one of her best books ever is called Mating and Captivity and it's actually about kind of how monogamy probably doesn't suit us anymore because we live so long and all this kind of jazz but she has a theory on relationships which we we are a relationship we're not a romantic relationship we're a friendship and a business relationship and she

7:45Joanne McNally:you're dead right

7:46Vogue Williams:well you're on change your mind. When you're ovulating

7:49Joanne McNally:you'd fucking climb a bin. I've seen that.

7:52Vogue Williams:I'm about to start ovulating. That's why when I saw the 8th Apollo I was like

7:55Joanne McNally:Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. I'm a little wet. Am I? When we're ovulating women that's apparently women swing their hips more when they're ovulating and everything because they want to get knocked up. Anyway Esther's theory is rip and repair. She said actually disagreements or kind of tension or like sorry no disagreements and kind of having it out with each other but then repairing really quickly actually makes a relationship stronger like if you never rip you never have the chance to repair and all the every time you you know this as well you fall out with someone and then when you when you get it back together and you kind of say you both say your bits and then you're at peace again you do feel closer because you've come back to each other

8:40Vogue Williams:you do and you also feel more like everything is kind of back to square one and empty and everything's put on the table, things that you would have let slide for ages. And I think even that, who was saying that they never fight with their wife? George Clooney. But now I don't think he fights with her because she is an amazing human rights lawyer. So I just don't think he'd be able to win anyway. So it would seem futile to fight with her. I'd say they don't fight because she's never around. I was going to say, I'd say they don't fight because she's so amazing. I'd say they scrap over the Nesca.

9:13Vogue Williams:They must, they scrap over the Nesca. an espresso because she probably wants to get a sage and he's got the deal with an espresso and like they're scrapping over the sage and the nespresso.

9:22Joanne McNally:She does seem like an espresso gal but you know what as well and I don't know, look I've no kids which is something I'm saying a lot at the moment because I'm doing a lot of press at the moment. There's a lot of chat about bulimia adoption and children at the moment. There's a lot. I look forward to shutting the fuck up once these shows are sold. That's great.

9:40Vogue Williams:Well that's what you can ask. That's not too bad. I can ask when I'm going to have another child and and like mom guilt to you that's all I get that's all well sorry just to clarify

9:54Joanne McNally:just to clarify I have no problem talking about those things they're all part of the kind of story of how I got to be doing the torch you know what I mean but yeah mom guilt yeah Lily Allen gets asked a lot about that sorry I did wait to bring her up and I just also want you to know I've moved on from Lily now I'm over it you're done with it I'm kind of

10:12Vogue Williams:now I'm getting and served up loads of stuff like that though because obviously we've been talking about it and now I'm finding myself getting more and more interested but there's a lot of I've seen a lot of backlash-y articles now I have to say

10:22Joanne McNally:Well, do you know what's interesting? I remember we actually when we spoke about it on the podcast you were talking about the fact that well David Harbour was hanging out with kids which is nice was it you who was saying it or maybe it wasn't maybe it wasn't you maybe someone else was saying to me like well she cheated on previous partners and she gave a dog back and she doesn't remember how many abortions she had and all this stuff so like she's not perfect No, no, no. No one's saying she's, I'm not saying she's perfect. I'm saying I just think it's an excellent album. I don't need to kind of understand or forgive her outside of that album.

10:53Joanne McNally:It doesn't matter to me what other things she has done in her life. I can still enjoy the album. Do you know what I mean? She said she gave her

11:00Vogue Williams:She said she gave her puppy back because it ate her password. It's like, just don't say anything. Just don't say anything.

11:06Joanne McNally:I know, that was quite the reveal, Lily. I probably would have kept that to myself. I mean, I think she got more shit for that for saying she doesn't know how many abortions she had. People don't like people giving back dogs or children.

11:17Vogue Williams:They're very against us. No. Oh my God. I'll never forget that YouTube couple who adopted a child and then gave them back like two years ago. It's like, fucking hell.

11:25Joanne McNally:And again, I would have kept that to myself. Maybe I got a cardboard cut out of the kid for Christmas cards or something to kind of keep them in the mix. I think they tried. They tried to keep it themselves.

11:34Vogue Williams:People were like, where's the dog? Where's the child? Like people were always asking me about Winston because he wasn't always in my content but he wasn't really arsed with it and now he's just not out.

11:45Joanne McNally:Well, also, Winston was, you could see he wasn't buzzing off the content creation. No, he didn't want to be in the first time. He wasn't the thirsty bitch the other one is. Bertie is absolutely bloody mad for it.

12:08Joanne McNally:This is one for you, Vogue Okay I would assume that if you are a very wealthy parent Yeah So I think a lot of couples they argue over because they're tired and it's about childcare and about if they're struggling to make ends meet blah blah blah all that shit right and they can't do their they don't get nights out that often because they have to pay for babysitter and cost a living and all that. But if you're loaded, and I'm not saying, I'm actually not saying this about you and Spencer, I'm asking about the George and Amal. If you're absolutely loaded, so you have no financial problems and you have, you can afford to have childcare 24 hours a day, seven days a week, what do you argue about?

12:51Joanne McNally:Do you reckon? Sex, money, no. Sex.

12:54Vogue Williams:I don't, I don't really know because, because like, we do have child care and I do say that but like also having child care like it's still like I'd say that like the running of the house and everything but maybe they're not running their house like I kind of look after the running of the house and I like spend a lot of time with the kids and also with nannies like to try and we got our nanny and we like to try and get somebody who's essentially home help so because when you're there all the time some nannies don't like that and they won't take the job so trying to find somebody who doesn't mind that you're around quite a lot because we have one because I work from home a lot and if I want to do something with them.

13:30Vogue Williams:But I don't know what you would look at me. I'm making excuses for having a nanny. I don't feel like I need to make excuses.

13:35Joanne McNally:No, you don't. And you know what as well? People, I know people, the term nanny really annoys people. It's just childcare really, isn't it?

13:43Vogue Williams:But just, I should just start saying, I should just start saying childcare. Yeah. But I don't know. I think you, I think you fight over just like, no, there's always somebody who's doing more than the other. And regardless of like, I mean, I don't know. Kim Kardashian has a chef and everything like that. that and like but like they're her kids at the end of the day so they want to spend most of their time with her so it is yeah that's the kind of stuff that becomes stressful because like obviously you want to spend all your time with them but then you feel like you're doing more and more and more and it can be it can be quite full on like sometimes I feel like my day is just so hectic until until the kids go to bed and I'd say that like Svenny of course he helps and does stuff but they just kind of want to be with me a lot of the time that's the big that's the big lie sell to me

14:25Joanne McNally:about nannying. I'm assuming if I had a nanny, I wouldn't have to do anything. I'd just be waving at them from my apartment while they're all out in the common enjoying themselves. Like I wouldn't. I'm assuming. I didn't realise. You're not looking for home help then. No. I'd like the nanny to collect them at 7am from the room next door to me.

14:49Vogue Williams:You won't though. And then take them back into her own room. That's the problem. You won't. If you have a child, which I think you actually will, I think that you'll have the baby and you'll think that you want to do that but you'll become so obsessed that you'll just want to spend all your free time with them and then you'll be like hang on a second I have no free time anymore and then that can get quite stressful you need to try and like carve out a little bit of time on your own sometimes like I went that's why I go get up and go walking early in the morning or running that's my own time

15:17Joanne McNally:I love I like getting parents I think you're a really good mum you know

15:21Vogue Williams:thanks Joanne I love it I love it I actually do do you know what worries me and it's so long away but I love it so much and I love the chaos of all of it. I want to have, when we get our like forever home in London, I want to have I want our house to be the house that everybody comes to so that they can all just hang out there and they have a nice time and they've got their own area because I want it, like I love having people over and then maybe when they grow up they'll just be like oh we might as well just live at mum till we're 30.

15:51Joanne McNally:You're going to be that parent who they're all going to be all your kids friends are going to be drinking in that in the downstairs area of the house one of my mates we had a Lucy Goosey house and everyone stayed the night there because we could get away with coming in late we could get away with drinking and then eventually Pat copped on and she was always trying to ring her mother to make sure I was there and Pat ruined the party but yeah she ruined the Lucy Goosey

16:14Vogue Williams:now the only thing is I would be like more I'd be more strict than Spencer like I wouldn't really I just want them to be there and have a nice time I don't want them taking the piss out of me and like getting pissed and stuff like that I don't want to have to deal with that crap.

16:25Joanne McNally:Kids do it though, don't they? They always find a way.

16:28Vogue Williams:They always find a way. Well, you always wanted somewhere to hang out because you're hanging out on walls so much. Like this, it's Halloween now here today. And I just remember being so excited for Halloween to just go and stand outside, do nothing. Not trick-or-treating when I was older, just standing there, just standing. Like waiting to score somebody. I can still.

16:46Joanne McNally:I was waiting quite a long time. No, no. Halloween was a gamey night. Halloween was. It was a sexy time If you were a teenager It could be a sexy gamey time

16:56Vogue Williams:But not for all of us Who haven't grown Into our mates yet So Halloween was only For a second Wow

17:03Joanne McNally:It's true I remember I can still feel The ice The wind Blowing through my skin When I think of Going out on Halloween Because you want to be You want to score You're out to score a lot Which is why So you're not wearing Any clothes You're wearing There might be a zip up Maybe but doubtful Yeah you're trying to be cute You're trying to be you're trying to be like a sexy 15 year old which is weird and so you'd be out in your you'd be skirts like a sheer tight a boot maybe a crop top

17:34Vogue Williams:oh you were on the sheer tights oh no I don't I used to have like a skirt like a belt I mean they were a regular size and everyone else but they'd be like a belt on me I loved them and then the jeans down to like yeah partially showing your yeah your front bum and your back bum yeah your front bum

17:55Vogue Williams:We have to do an email Yes

17:56Joanne McNally:Go for it

17:58Vogue Williams:This is called Should I Okay without reading it I'm going to say Go for it What are you going to say?

18:06Joanne McNally:I'll take the opposing Argument and say Don't do it Just for Balance Okay

18:11Vogue Williams:Hi Joanne Vouges Vogue Whatever you prefer And Jo I'm 32 years old I'm single and childless And live in Copenhagen In a nice apartment with a great group of friends and a nice job. Glorious. Yeah, they're all rides in Copenhagen. You can't live there unless you're a ride. So you must be a ride. Still, I can't shake the feeling that something is missing and always has been. I'm not talking about having a man and children. Absolutely fuck that. But my heart yearns for London.

18:40Joanne McNally:Oh, oh.

18:42Vogue Williams:I lived there a few years ago for a semester abroad and it was the best time ever. I still visit a few times a year and I'm at my happiest there. I've now landed a job in marketing and seeing as I happen to have Irish nationality it's fairly easy and visa free move but I'm scared shitless starting over at 32 is a lot and moving away from aging parents, friends having children and the very stable life I have is scary I currently live alone in my big flat but I know that I'll have to pay twice the price in London for a mouldy room with a thousand flatmates and no heat during the winter is it worth it?

19:17Vogue Williams:I know you two both made the move in your 30s and while your careers are way more impressive than mine well we don't know we don't know that I'm not sure how did you overcome all the scary emotions the not having friends and family around the loneliness the expenses the cultural differences the having to start socially from scratch all of it I've been offered my dream but something is holding me back and I'm not sure it's anything other than my very comfortable comfort zone that is screaming to me I must be an utter gobshite should I make the move should I not what would you do in my situation mandatory but truthful love the pod oh do it I think that you're overthinking it I didn't even really think about it I kind of was just like oh I'm moving to London now and like You were young though, what age were you when you came over?

20:03Vogue Williams:No I was probably like 29, 30 and I'd come back from Australia and I just feel like one of my friends gave me, I don't know if James O 'Neill told you this, we have a friend James O 'Neill he said to me when I was moving there I must have been nervous for him to have said this to me and he was like you have to work for London or London won't work for you. So you can't just move to London and just expect everything to be brilliant and you're going to have a great time and stuff like that. It's like any city, you have to immerse yourself in stuff. You have to like get out and about and do stuff and make some friends.

20:31Vogue Williams:You'll make friends and work. Make sure you go out with them. Make an effort. Go and see all the different things to see in London. Get involved in, sorry to say, run clubs. Sorry. I was all about it until you said that. I'm sorry. They do this running club. I forget what it's called. You'd know it. Park Run. Park Run. Oh, yeah. I haven't gotten involved yet. And they do it on a Saturday morning in Battersea. And there's so many people. And everyone just seems to have a really, really fun, nice time. And I see people clogging up the coffee shops because I can't go when they finish their run club.

21:05Vogue Williams:And it just seems like, so it's doing little bits and bobs like that. But you're 32. If you don't do it now, like, when are you going to do it? Like, is this opportunity going to come when you're 36 again? Just do it now when you can. 100 % 100 %

21:18Joanne McNally:One of the best things About being A single child free person Is You can change up your life Like that Am I clicking my Can you hear me clicking my fingers Like that You're not locked To Copenhagen Now the elderly The aging parents That is That is something to be considered But like It's not far London is In my opinion One of the best cities in the world It completely changed my life I was gagging to get over here I just had to wait Until I had A bit of a job I think I waited to go no no because even when I got signed by Curb I think I was still living in Dublin coming back and forth but I was in a relationship at the time in Dublin and I hadn't a pot to piss in because I had no job I was just doing open spots for free the second I got over here I'll be honest it was lonely at the start and also lockdown and all that shit but like some of the friends I have over here now are like they're so close to me it's like I've known them all my life do you know what I mean and it's one of the best things I've ever done we're very pro London we're very pro London

22:17Vogue Williams:I think London is such a like cultural hub as well there's just everyone's quite inclusive like and I don't find that people are like they don't say hello or anything like that I find it quite a friendly city and I think that everyone's happy for everyone to get involved I really I just and you don't have to live in a complete shithole like I have lived in a couple of shitholes in London but I think it is good to share like if you can find a flat share I think for the first year treat it like like uni where you're like you'd rather it be in uni accommodation where you're going to find some friends and people that like you could possibly move out with after that i would i definitely do a flat show you could get a nicer place and just be clear my only thing is find out where your job is and make sure you don't live too far away from that because you actually you won't understand how big london is until you're here i once got a job i was living in stockwell and i was working in lewisham it took me i had to get two tubes a train and a bus to work because i didn't know that it was so far and that that will be a nightmare if you do that.

23:16Vogue Williams:Yeah. I'm moving from South West London

23:19Joanne McNally:to East London. Well, we haven't fully decided that yet. I'm going to look at houses next week. Well, I don't care. But it's like... Disgusting. It's like I'm moving... I feel like I'm moving country. It's only over the other side of the city. But yeah, London is huge, but that's the crack of it. And you can literally go in and watch Le Miserable tomorrow if you want, or you can go... There's so much to do. I mean, Le Miserable is probably a kind of a wild example. That's depressing. I mean, just go to something more fun. I love the Mr. Rapp.

23:48Vogue Williams:Go to Hamilton. I've never seen it.

23:50Joanne McNally:The Tina Turner musical.

23:52Vogue Williams:That's finished, I think, Joanne. No! Yeah, I think so. Cassie, can we fact-check that? I'm sure that was brilliant. Did you see that? I went to see it. Yeah, it was great. Tina Turner's like my icon. I loved Hamilton. It's so good. I haven't seen it yet. Oh, I'll go with you. Let's do a date. I'd love to. That's our Christmas present to each other. I'll get you a ticket to Hamilton. You get me a ticket. Yours will just be up in the back stalls. with a restricted view.

24:16Joanne McNally:I was going to say, folk.

24:20Joanne McNally:Sorry, Joanne, you're asking you up there. Yeah. I thought we were going to sit together now.

24:25Vogue Williams:No, you've got a restricted view.

24:28Joanne McNally:Yeah. While you're in the wings. Doing content. But do, do it now. Like, honestly, because the thing is, you can sit on something for years and not do it. And then like, you're better off doing it. If you don't like it, move home. and also the great thing about being in London is you're so close to Europe you can just get the Euro dart the Euro train over to the continent and have a ball over there

24:53Vogue Williams:there's loads of fun stuff to do if you do move let us know Vogue will introduce you to a run club well I'm not actually in the run club I just watch it oh yeah let us know your movements yeah

25:03Joanne McNally:that's it okay I enjoyed that morning chat

25:06Vogue Williams:that was a nice morning chat thanks everyone for listening and please keep sending in your emails to hello at mtgmpod.com

25:16Joanne McNally:There was a girl came up to me after one of the shows and she was talking about the Bear by Vogue loop story. Oh yeah. And she was like more emails and I was like I know, I know we do ask for them.

25:28Vogue Williams:We do get them we only ever do one because we shied on so much but that was a great email. I'm clipping that up now for the Bear by Vogue page.

25:36Joanne McNally:I'm you should I'm always about I'm always about changing shit up change shit up as much as you can. That's why I'm moving east because I feel like I'm in a bit of a rush. I'm like, I need to change shit up. Life comes at you fast. You've been to Clapham for years.

25:47Vogue Williams:It's just really handy that I'm going to move to Clapham in the next couple of years and you're going to move somewhere else for fuck's sake.

25:51Joanne McNally:I'm like, this neighbourhood's going to the dogs. The William Matthews are moving in. I'm out. Run, everyone. Run while you can.

26:08Vogue Williams:This has been a Global Player original production.