In short
The hosts trade chaotic travel/work-trip mishaps, argue about “tire kickers” in art buying, and then pivot to an explicit listener email asking whether a man can be “coached” into being a better sexual partner. They also tease upcoming coverage of “trad wives.”
Guests
No guests appear; it’s a two-host conversation between Joanne and Vogue (with recurring references to “Spencer,” “Amanda Holden,” “James Haskell,” and others, but not as interview guests).
Key claims
Sex performance can’t always be fixed by coaching; bad sex may come from lack of desire, porn habits, or mismatched attraction. “Ride the ugly ones” is framed as a practical dating maxim.
Notable examples
Getting stuck in traffic and missing a plan; accidentally entering the wrong hotel room and taking a towel; discussing art buyers who “kick tires”; and the “Spencer was a terrible ride” storyline.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOTraffic Tales and Lies
0:45 to 3:00
The hosts recount a comedic story about delays and traffic lies.
“it was the phalange on the plane it was the phalange yeah were you on the same flight in the traffic?”
Art and Judgment
3:00 to 6:00
Discussion about art in hotels and personal experiences with art ownership.
“I said to Jamie today, I was like, how come you didn't put as many holidays in as Amanda?”
Shopping and Pricing
6:00 to 8:00
The hosts share humorous shopping experiences and reactions to pricing.
Work and Professionalism
8:00 to 10:00
Discussing work experiences and the balance of personal and professional life.
“I'm not going to ask them to leave I'll just nip in I'll just nip in Oh, God.”
Holiday and Work Dynamics
10:00 to 12:00
The hosts reflect on holidays and working while on vacation.
“is very identifiable Joanne I've seen your room you know it's your room Yeah but I think I was thrown because the housekeeping were in and I thought they were just doing a really good job, do you know?”
Upcoming Deep Dive
12:00 to 14:00
The hosts tease an upcoming discussion about 'trad wives' and related media.
“I'm so glad, by the way, this morning they had set something so nice up for me on hard breakfast.”
Discussion on Trad Wives and Influencer Culture
14:00 to 14:42
The hosts discuss trad wives, their portrayal in media, and the societal implications.
“Nara Smith was on Call Her Daddy podcast.”
Personal Financial Responsibilities
14:43 to 15:39
A humorous exchange about personal finances and contributions in relationships.
“oh God, I need to get my, I'll get my facts right.”
Email Discussion: A Bad Ride
15:40 to 18:48
A listener shares her frustrations about her partner's lackluster performance in bed.
“Come on, I ask the kids, I'm like, who's in charge?”
Coaching Partners for Better Intimacy
18:49 to 22:28
The hosts explore the possibility of improving sexual experiences through communication.
“it's literally like riding a fairground horse there's an up and down motion but it never changes rhythm it goes round and round and eventually just sort of stops.”
Show all 11 chapters
Joanne's Upcoming Performances and Closing Remarks
22:29 to 24:45
Joanne shares details about her upcoming performances and the hosts wrap up the episode.
“I'll be in the car park with my iPod Nano if anyone's around.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:02This is a global production.
0:04Joanne McNally:I've said this before and I'll say it again. Ride the ugly ones. People love me over here, I'm telling you. Huge. I used to came out and saw all these kitten heels in the bedroom and I was like, kitten heels?
0:24Joanne McNally:It's happening. It's happening. It's happening. Something's happening. Something's happening We're two professional women Doing something professional now And it's happening I'm sorry for the delay I was stuck in traffic
0:36Vogue Williams:This is where I see Emma She does this The lie unfolds She forgets it She's told a lie I thought it was a taxi My friend And then you told us That your friend was driving Yes
0:49Joanne McNally:My friend drove Into the traffic And then we were stuck In the traffic And we couldn't get a taxi
0:55Vogue Williams:Look I'm here now It wasn't the taxi It was the traffic
1:01Vogue Williams:you're the worst you're the worst liar I've ever met in my life because you forget like five minutes later
1:10Joanne McNally:unpacking the detail the bottom line is the train was delayed and but I'm here now that's the main thing
1:19Vogue Williams:was the phalange broken? it was the phalange on the plane
1:22Joanne McNally:it was the phalange yeah were you on the same flight in the traffic? yes that's what that was God damn Falange. Yeah. For God's sake. Are you pimping out that artist that you've got there literally taking over the whole screen? It's lovely, isn't it? I'm not actually, I don't even know who it is. Do you know what's, Joe makes me, I find curious about art. So I'll be in, so you know the kind of like lovely hotel, the kind of bougie hotels that have like gorgeous bits of art in the wall. Yeah. And you're kind of struggling to see the name. If I so much as drew a matchstick man and it was on display, I would have Joanne McAnally, like a really tacky brand.
2:00Joanne McNally:I'm like, you wouldn't have to look for my name is what I'm saying. I'd put a nanny cam in all of them and if anyone like moved past the photo and there was any motion, I'd immediately pop up via Zoom and be like, hey, it's Jerome McNally. This is my process. This is how much it is. Buy me. These people are too casual.
2:17Vogue Williams:Yeah, but I think it might get rid of the riffraff because if you're really serious about buying a piece of art, you're going to find out who has created the art and art can sometimes be very expensive.
2:27Joanne McNally:I think, well, riffraff is the wrong term. I think what you're looking for is tire kickers.
2:32Vogue Williams:Tire kickers. That's a great one, yeah.
2:34Joanne McNally:It comes from the old Latin term where if you're selling a car on Facebook market. Don't deal. Don't deal. They would come around and just, and they'll pretend they're buying the car and they'll just kick the tires and walk off. I walked past a shop the other day. Yeah. And there was a gorgeous set of bed, lovely bedding in the window. And obviously I'm in my 40s now. This shit turns me on. so I went in and I said hey which is the bedding and he said it's a grand and I went oh perfect no he didn't he said a grand he did so it's a grand so I said of course because I didn't want to I went oh my god yeah that's actually quite reasonable for a pillow and a sheet
3:14Vogue Williams:I'm just going I'm just going for my lunch but I will be back
3:18Joanne McNally:well instead of just immediately backtracking out of the shop I obviously kicked tires for a while and started asking the cost of
3:30Joanne McNally:my bad measurements and like it was a good 40 minutes of talking
3:35Vogue Williams:now I'd need three sets have you got have you got three sets in stock I don't even know
3:40Joanne McNally:you have the stock how many sheets I'm gonna need at that point
3:47Vogue Williams:I can't I can't hold it if something is like like I literally if it takes my breath away price wise I'm like
3:54Joanne McNally:Jesus I'm like no you're alright
3:56Vogue Williams:yeah
3:58Joanne McNally:Vogue how now that you are the face of breakfast radio how was it
4:03Vogue Williams:I have a two week stint I'm only borrowing the reins from the amazing Amanda Holden and like she is
4:11Joanne McNally:is she in your basement
4:12Vogue Williams:nah she's never letting go of that job I'm gonna have to put her in the basement if there's any chance of me taking that job she's gotta go in the basement it's the best job say the word
4:21Joanne McNally:say the word and I will put on my velour track suit and I'll get rid of her. Say the word.
4:29Vogue Williams:You do have that shed. No, I quite like Amanda, I have to say. Say the word. I do like her. She's got loads of holidays. She's nailed this thing. I said to Jamie today, I was like, how come you didn't put as many holidays in as Amanda? I was like, that wasn't clever, was it? Amanda gets a lovely amount of holliers. I've got a lot of mousetraps at hand that haven't been used. Say the word. Do you want to get rid of Amanda? Is it you? Say the word. A bit of Britain's Got Talent for Joanne, is it?
5:01Joanne McNally:It's time I slipped into that ball gown myself. She needs to step aside.
5:08Vogue Williams:I don't want to sound like a bad mother, okay? I don't want to sound like that. Then don't speak! Wait. Don't speak then. I couldn't wait to go back to work. holidays were hard it was hard it was tough going have you had the baby? no but I'm back in work now I'm fitting off more than I could chew today because I had hard breakfast I was up at five into hard breakfast then I went off and I did a shoot with my mum for something else and then I spotted this in the diary and I was like
5:39Joanne McNally:oh good god I was ready for bed spotted this in the diary wow I've been looking forward to this all day Vogue really? spotted this that's why you got yourself home in your social calendar spotted this and I at least one of us spotted it huh and I got stuck in the traffic yeah I forgot about the plan sorry I don't have time for this James Haskell is DJing at my pool
6:09for free okay
6:12Vogue Williams:he's not he's not doing that for free he's not doing that for free this was spotted in the diary this means a lot to me oh god her again hey James James James James John McNally James James met your class to me James
6:35Joanne McNally:oh god do you know what I did earlier so we were I was down by the pool Brandon was out hiking we were like let's go for lunch Grant we were like we'll both run up have a shower separately we've separate rooms and I ran into my room on house keeping right side so I didn't have to use my key so I just went in and I was like Grant oh yeah they're cleaning the room hello hello because I didn't want to you know freak them out no one replied Grant hopped to the shower having a wash got out of the shower hello hello still no answering fine and I was like oh they've moved my suitcases into the bedroom oh no please no
7:15Vogue Williams:no Oh ,했어요.
7:35Someone else's room.
7:43Vogue Williams:The fact that you gave such little shits Hello, hello Oh no, it's not true Fuck it, I'll have a shower Wash myself No, it was because I didn't want to disturb them I was like, they're clean
7:55Joanne McNally:In my mind, I was like, they can stay So what happened after them? I'm not going to ask them to leave I'll just nip in I'll just nip in
8:13Oh, God. I just came out and saw all these kitten heels in the bedroom and I was like, kitten heels? I don't wear kitten heels.
Read the full transcript
8:25Vogue Williams:Did you just scamper away or did you at least tell? I'm scumpered. Scumpered. So you nick the towels. And the girls with the kitten heels are going to be like, They're going to ring down and say they didn't clean our room. I had very little dignity left. I had to take the towel.
8:50Joanne McNally:I'd say they just settled in because there was no products in the bathroom, which I just assumed because they were cleaning the room that they're taking all my products off the shelf to give it a real scrub down.
9:06the occupants were probably just on the balcony I wouldn't mind I was like I'm going to have an everything shower I swear
9:14Joanne McNally:use my razor don't remember buying that oh god yeah but nothing came of it because by the time I got out of the shower I realised it wasn't my room it was someone else's and I was still saying hello, hello like I would have fessed up if someone had been in the room but the housekeeping had obviously been interrupted and they'd gone to something else so I just I just shuffled back to my own room and said the less that I thought now the better Got a free towel out of it as well Yeah, as I'm pulling the cameras off the walls do you know what I mean, the security cameras
9:53Vogue Williams:Can you imagine? No, I actually can't imagine ever doing something like that and particularly you, like your room is very identifiable Joanne I've seen your room
10:03Joanne McNally:you know it's your room Yeah but I think I was thrown because the housekeeping were in and I thought they were just doing a really good job, do you know?
10:14Vogue Williams:I didn't see her hanging anxious preoccupied bags Joanne went through her room the other day and how she cleaned it and she had all her handbags hanging up with all of her clothes she's like I don't know what to do with them, they just have to stay in the suitcase How about you put your clothes on the hangers and the anxious preoccupied bags just in front of them?
10:32Joanne McNally:Well, so thank you for asking, folks, because you weren't alone in wanting to know that. Clothes, there's no point hanging clothes.
10:42Vogue Williams:Okay, I'm interested to hear why.
10:44Joanne McNally:There's no point hanging them because there's an ironing board in the room. So if you hang them all, you have to put them back in. Whereas if you just shake out the little bit that you want to wear from the suitcase, then you iron it and then it's fine. The hanging of the bags was because I have promised Nikki that I will do content with all the bags. Just to flag, this is very much a work trip.
11:10Vogue Williams:Oh, 100%. I forgot.
11:12Joanne McNally:This is very much a professional endeavor. Any photos taken, you will notice there was a handbag in all the photos, including Brendan's photos of him in the pool. You can see me trying to throw in a barrel and I just preoccupied a barrel in the background. Very much a professional project. She's feeling bad now because she's over holidaying.
11:35Vogue Williams:She's actually, she's coming from my crown. She's coming from my crown. Joanna, sorry, I'm back in the UK. I'm working like a dog over here. I'm really busy, okay?
11:44Joanne McNally:I have no idea why you would think this isn't a work trip that I'm on.
11:53Vogue Williams:Sorry, actually, there's another thing.
11:55Joanne McNally:It's because of the James Haskell thing. I'm not going out there. I'm in here. I'm in here photographing my handbags.
12:08Vogue Williams:I'm so glad, by the way, this morning they had set something so nice up for me on hard breakfast. They're like, oh, we've got a surprise for you. We've got a surprise. Your friend is calling in. And I was like, who's my friend? He's calling. And they're like, oh, your friend isn't answering. I was like, is my friend, Joanne? I was like, yeah. I was like, she texted me at half three this morning, wishing me the best of luck. I was like, and that's half for her time because she was working really hard.
12:38Joanne McNally:Exactly. Exactly, folk. And I don't know what monsters are running this show that you're on, but let me tell you, they are out of touch with reality.
12:46Vogue Williams:Jamie tried to ring again. I was like, Jamie, this is futile. Let it go. I'm stuck in traffic. I'm stuck in traffic I'm always stuck in traffic She is on set It's half four in the morning She's on set
13:02Joanne McNally:And the new crowd cocks I'm out here with my iPod Nano It's fucking blown up That's why I'm so worried About the Wi-Fi being so sick I'm like how am I going to DJ out here If I can't get my Spotify list going Do you know When are you coming home I'm on two bars I'm not coming home I think you
13:19Vogue Williams:You have another couple of weeks In you there She said that to me. She's like, I actually love being on holidays. I was like, thank you. Who doesn't love being on holidays?
13:28Joanne McNally:It's me. It's Dua Lipa. And it's great to see you working for once, Vogue. I'll be honest.
13:38Joanne McNally:I was like, that fucking lazy bitch. She's finally taken the finger out and got herself a job.
13:50Vogue Williams:thank god if you're not careful I'm going to start taking family time I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm taking time away with the family okay
14:00Joanne McNally:this trad wife over in Battersea I'm sick of her shit by the way for Wednesday no this is going out Wednesday for Friday's episode we need to do we're doing a deep dive into the trad wives I've been looking at that
14:13Vogue Williams:on the Call Her Daddy podcast
14:15Joanne McNally:Yes. Now let's get her name.
14:17Vogue Williams:Nara Smith was on Call Her Daddy podcast.
14:21Joanne McNally:Yeah. We're doing a deep dive on that. I'm about 20 minutes away from finishing Yesteryear. I don't think it's a coincidence that Nara is now doing all this press. Let's get into it.
14:31Vogue Williams:But Yesteryear is also based on another woman who was also, she's also a trad wife, but she works and she's got nine children or something. but she married the heir of some like really, oh God, I need to get my, I'll get my facts right. I will fact check all of this, but I do think it is an interesting watch because you remember the way we were like, oh God, like.
14:53Joanne McNally:They're cosplaying oppression.
14:56Vogue Williams:Yeah. They're not even, they don't even like their husbands.
15:01Joanne McNally:They're fucking paying for their husbands. This is the point. It's all the bollocks. Anyway. At least I admit paying fucking half
15:08Vogue Williams:and I don't want to pay half. You don't want to.
15:11Joanne McNally:No, I know.
15:12Vogue Williams:I don't want to. I don't want to pay even, I don't want to pay nothing. I want to pay nothing. I saw Tommy Fury came out and said, no, I want to pay nothing. No, I want to pay nothing.
15:23Joanne McNally:You say that. You say that, but I don't. I feel like I've contributed enough. I do actually believe you there. Your eyes went really hard there. I do believe you.
15:32Vogue Williams:Contributed enough. Yeah, Tommy Fury said, Molly Mae hasn't paid for a single meal since they've been together and I applaud you, Molly May. I intend on doing the same. What about, where's your power then? I don't care. You have no power. Ah, listen, I'll always have the power. Come on, I ask the kids, I'm like, who's in charge? They're like, mama. You've got the pussy power,
15:52Joanne McNally:is that what you're saying? Yeah, but I think that also comes from your income.
15:58Vogue Williams:No, I don't think so. No. Listen, I don't, I've always been. I'm not paying, okay?
16:04Joanne McNally:Yeah, fine. And I'm stuck in traffic. these are two things that will always be true
16:10Vogue Williams:why don't you ring your bank and say you're not paying for my mortgage anymore what are they going to do? I'm not paying
16:16Joanne McNally:sadly I don't have a
16:22Joanne McNally:Spencer Matthews Spencer Matthews I pay my own mortgage
16:25Vogue Williams:sorry I pay my house and house I tried to bring my stepdad as you know Neil looks after my finances and I was like Neil is there any way now I know it's after the facts that we can cut Spencer out of Hoth. And he was like, no. I told Spenny I was doing it. I was like, Spenny, you don't even, you always go on about not wanting anything to do at Hoth. He doesn't even like it. He doesn't want it. So I said, I'm cutting you out. And I rang Neil and he was like, oh, you can't do that.
16:51Joanne McNally:I was like, you do that. You get your eggs in a row. You cut that prick. Get your eggs in a row.
16:59Vogue Williams:Okay, we're meant to be doing an email here. We're meant to be doing, if I don't do the email, you don't get to go see James. is that what you call him now or do you call him Haskell Jimmy Jam Jimmy Jam Haskell
17:12Joanne McNally:I'm doing the I'm doing the foot pedals he's doing the desks foot pedals
17:17Vogue Williams:like you're on piano are you a penis
17:19Joanne McNally:so if you see me under the desk of Jimmy Jam Haskell trust me it's very innocent I'm doing the foot bits I'm doing the gears down the bottom the brakes and the acceleration and he's doing the plates up the top
17:31Vogue Williams:okay hot guy terrible ride Dear Joanne and Vogue I'm currently seeing the hottest guy I've ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. He's literally an Adonis. So far out of my league that it's not even shitting on myself. Genuinely he's out of this world. He's decent in conversation Sorry, hang on. We don't have long left of this listeners, I promise.
17:58Joanne McNally:What's the crack? Does the baby just punch up your throat every now and again? I did a little wee on the floor today when I was getting in the shower.
18:12Vogue Williams:Whatever the baby wants to do.
18:18Vogue Williams:Is decent in conversation as well. Funny and has a good job.
18:22Joanne McNally:I've assumed you squatting down at the gym. Spence is like, darling. You're like, listen, if the baby wants to take a shit on the floor, there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I can do about it. sleep when the baby sleeps oh my god that's so funny go on sorry go on
18:40Vogue Williams:okay girls he's a shit ride not average not too quick and it's not a case of learning what I like because I've had that conversation it's literally like riding a fairground horse there's an up and down motion but it never changes rhythm it goes round and round and eventually just sort of stops. And the silence. Good God, the silence.
19:08Joanne McNally:Oh, come on, he's stuck in traffic.
19:12Vogue Williams:We were in bed on Saturday and literally while he's inside me, I actually realised I was thinking about emails I needed to send on Monday. Emails, girls! I don't even like my job! Basically, I'm asking if you think it's possible to coach a man into being a better ride or if they're all just born with whatever ability they're born with and there's no changing it. I'd love to think he could be better at it, but it's honestly so bad that it ruins everything else. Spencer was a terrible ride when I first... He's in the room. Oh, okay. You're always lying on this show. Same. Yeah, yeah. Joanna, yeah.
19:56Joanne McNally:Maybe this is now the time to tell you I've also had a go on Spencer and I agree it wasn't great.
20:01Vogue Williams:I know, I know. And we've taught him well together. Together we united and he is now.
20:06Joanne McNally:Yeah, he said, dude, up your game. Do you know what I'm saying though? I've been in this situation. I'm going to say this. Now she might be at home clawing her ears out and be like, you're full of shit. They don't fancy each other. Like there's, I understand sex is very subjective but when you desire each other, when lust just takes you both through that's when sex is good it's like you have to if you can have good sex with somebody you don't fancy they're very very good at sex I just think he's don't fancy each other I don't know about that
20:39Vogue Williams:because I think that there is times where you like people like it different kinds of ways and everything like that and like you have to like kind of explain to somebody the certain way that you like it so maybe it's just about talking to him a little bit more and if he's that good looking I mean that's why he should surely he's had loads of rides. Why is he not?
21:00Joanne McNally:Because he's never had to try. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Ride the ugly ones. They are workhorses.
21:10Vogue Williams:It's funny. We can't all be legends. You've had enough practice. I'd be shocked if you weren't good.
21:21Joanne McNally:Yeah, you've run out of Labia. There's no Labia left. If he was bad, there'd be serious problems. So he could ride a Martian up there. Fucking.
21:37Vogue Williams:I do. I think that this, maybe, maybe he is too good looking. Maybe he's so good looking that he just couldn't be arsed.
21:44Joanne McNally:This is what I'll say. Of every lad I've been with, the more attractive he was, there is a direct pipeline from attractive guy to shit sex. Now, I rode the last once. I was like, I actually said to him after, I said, you ride me like you wish I was dead. There's no desire here. There's nothing happening. We are just functionally, you might as well be taking the bins out. You rode me like you were cracking open a can of tuna. No interest. But I just,
22:14Vogue Williams:I just thought of something. I just thought of something, right? So, I'm not really a one night Sandy person. It has happened. Well, I'd hope not. You're married.
22:27but there comes a time you just have you just have to call it a day it doesn't it doesn't
22:34Vogue Williams:it doesn't always it's not always brilliant now I have to say it's always been pretty decent with Spenny but like it's not always brilliant and you do have to like have chats about certain parts of it so why couldn't you have chats about the sex part of it like you know like foreplay you're always chatting through things and like this guy sounds hopeless I don't know why
22:56Joanne McNally:I just get a really hopeless vibe off this email I don't think this guy I think if you got her on a better day
23:01Vogue Williams:if you got her on a better day when she's not in a rush to see James Haskell she might have a different opinion
23:05Joanne McNally:yeah we've got to wrap this up okay
23:08Vogue Williams:I wouldn't chuck him away I wouldn't chuck him in the bin if he's on the ride he's got great conversation I would put in the effort I would do the hard graft and I would maybe he watches too much porn maybe he watches too much porn
23:24Joanne McNally:maybe oh yeah actually yeah that's probably it yeah
23:27Vogue Williams:could be that I mean speaking of I really have to wrap this up
23:34Vogue Williams:she's a busy girl she's got a place to be everyone thank you so much for listening and also tomorrow night because this goes out Wednesday tomorrow night second episode I will be playing in universe
23:43Joanne McNally:oh sorry
23:48I will be playing in passion is that
23:50Vogue Williams:sorry yes you can see Joanne in passion she's actually on at 2 o 'clock in the afternoon when nobody is there. Yeah. The doors aren't even open. Right after Postman Pass.
24:01Joanne McNally:I'll be in the car park with my iPod Nano if anyone's around.
24:07Vogue Williams:Thank you, everyone. And please do tune in to Renovation Rescue and your show on TLC. You don't even know the name of it, do you? That could be anything. It's called Unacceptable. I'm trying to sell your tour I can't take I can't take on your TV career and your tour and your bags I can't take them all on
24:35Joanne McNally:well the fact that you pushed my passion gig actually means a lot to me so we'll leave it on that's the one that needs the bump at the moment because it's a pivot for me
24:45Vogue Williams:will we pop off and just leave her here or hold on I got a sound level
25:00Joanne McNally:People love me over here I'm telling you I'm huge
25:08Joanne McNally:It's not right But it's okay You didn't wear a piece at? Make it every Is that what that is? Okay I'm going now I have to eat Yeah I have to perform They're about to open the car park.
25:34This has been a global production.
From the publisher
Joanne is late (stuck in traffic/a taxi/a train... who's to say?!), she's showered in a complete stranger's hotel room without noticing, and she's got approximately four minutes before she has to leave to DJ with James Haskell poolside. Vogue is back from Spain, surviving Heart Breakfast, and did a little wee on the floor this morning. Can you tell Joe's still on holiday? It's fine. We're all fine.
My Therapist Ghosted Me is a Global Production.
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This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.