MTGM EXTRA! "THIS should be Vogue's new baby's name..."

8:01I know.

8:02Joanne McNally:Especially when they're on lilos in the sea. Two, they love to be buried. Yes, they do. It's like a fucking construction site. I was going to bring a cement mixer down today. And parents loved them being buried. And the kids just want to be buried. And then they sit there and they're just delighted to be buried. And they can't go anywhere. And then the parents wet the sand. It makes it heavier. And it's actually been really, really lovely. And digging holes.

8:30Vogue Williams:I know, but digging holes is really good exercise. For your arms. And when you're out there digging holes, no one ever really lies in their stomach to sunbed. They just don't. So when you're digging the hole, your back's getting tanned so you're actually they're enjoying it you're enjoying it we're all

8:43Joanne McNally:happy but i had to be careful because i tend to take things a little too far so when the kid was like bury me bury me and i i didn't want the parents to come back and they'd just be like six straws coming out of the sand you know like six straws and i've just like buried them up and they're like trying to breathe through the sand through like scuba gear so i was very respectful i just put them into their necks but then they're just happy sitting there in mounds it's gas anyway go on are you gonna say something about beach life sorry i was gonna go grief gazetti

9:06Vogue Williams:but I'm not going to tell you that story. Continue. It's much happier what we're talking about.

9:11Joanne McNally:Is it about someone getting buried alive?

9:13Vogue Williams:Good morning. Morning. Good morning. An accident that occurred. Once you're far away from the shoreline, it doesn't matter. You're far away from the shoreline. It's okay. What do you mean? Well, the sea, if the sea comes in, it's a real issue. Oh, sorry, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

9:29Joanne McNally:No, I had an eye. I had an eye. I was, you know, I was parenting like I have been all summer. All summer, yeah. all summer but the other thing I was going to say was I have been and Vogue you'll know this bitten alive by mosquitoes like I look like braille like my entire back stomach legs places I don't even know how they got in there like I look like pebble dash right and because I woke up one night and I heard this on my ear and I thought it was a blue bottle because I'm from Ireland and so I was just like starting to swatting it away and I didn't realise I was an all-for-one like all-you-can-eat buffet for the entire night.

10:13Joanne McNally:I'd say they were bringing in friends and family they're like this bitch won't wake up. So I went to the chemist and I mean like it's actually kind of bad and I said to the chemist like what's the crack like why am I getting eaten and he's like oh well it's usually to do with alcohol or scent

10:33Vogue Williams:Alcohol but if you have gin and tonic the quinine in the tonic is meant to stop them so you should switch drinks to gin and tonic that's what Gina says

10:42Joanne McNally:It's not the drink I'm wearing Victoria Beckham that's what it is it's nothing to do with the booze I was like the fucking booze everyone drinks on holidays they're just like I'd say they're all pissed also it's only the women in the bite and then they use the blood to lay eggs. So I am basically like that Dutch guy who fucking had 2 ,000 kids on. Remember the sperm downer guy?

11:04Vogue Williams:No, I think he was from Germany. Copenhagen now? Once they get one bite out of you they kind of go back for more and more and more. Are you leaving your window open or something?

11:16Joanne McNally:They're on the tip of my nose. They're like, they're up my ass. They're on my ass cheek. I mean, I was being spun around like a spit-rowed pig.

11:25Vogue Williams:I think that's something else.

11:28Joanne McNally:Well, they're not like, you know what I mean? They're just like on the cheeks, I would say. On the cheeks.

11:33Vogue Williams:Oh, no.

11:34Joanne McNally:There's nothing worse than being a spot dog. I'm scratching like a child with a mumps. It's so sore.

11:42Vogue Williams:I wouldn't like that myself now.

11:43Joanne McNally:No, and I'm worried it's going to scar now.

11:46Vogue Williams:Do you know what's worse than mosquito bites? Imagine you had bed bugs or something. oh they are like they are torturous I got them once in Paris oh yeah but not the time not the time that there was an outbreak in Paris another time in Paris it's like crabs if you get crabs but crabs are not they're not really you don't hear much about crabs anymore and it's because of our grooming I think so like everyone's grooming so much that the crabs have nowhere to live so you we're dying out I haven't heard of a case of crabs in well I suppose nobody would tell you really would they I've got craps I like the name Gary that's my baby name we're having a boy I said it on my vlog we're having a boy and his name is going to be Gary Gary Gary Keith Neil no Battersea I meant

12:35Joanne McNally:Gary Keith no scratch cooker

12:41Vogue Williams:Gary Gary Keith no what was that when you said cooking videos yeah

12:45Joanne McNally:Gary Keith scratch cooking videos yeah that's his name would you not just fuck it up and call him Brendan do you know what I mean or like Kevin what's wrong with Gary I'm trying to bring Gary back sorry you're such an activist

13:06Vogue Williams:would you like to do an email sure dear Joanna Vogue I'm looking for a bit of big sister advice from both of you I'm a 35 year old female chronically single with the ongoing misfortune of being attracted to the male species. I don't know. I'm currently feeling the onset of a bit of a midlife crisis because although I know I've been successful in life, I have a good career, my own house, my own car, I'm financially independent, etc., I somehow still feel like I've failed at achieving the one thing that actually matters to me, human connection. Somehow, oh, somehow I have managed to maintain the grand total of zero friends, which when written down, I know that's really sad, which when written down feels slightly more concerning than when I say it out loud.

13:50Vogue Williams:I do have an amazing family who I love dearly but they're all on a completely different life trajectory to me. They've settled down, have young families and very busy lives. I love spending time with them but I also quite enjoy going back to my own house afterwards and enjoying the peace and quiet. So it's not that I'm sitting in a dark room crying into a glass of wine every night. I actually really enjoy my own company. But then there's this horrible little thought that creeps in. What if I end up being a lonely old woman? No friends, no kids, no husband. Nobody calling around for a cup of tea.

14:21Vogue Williams:Nobody to take me to hospital. Nobody to wipe my arse when I'm 87. And I've finally reached the stage where dignity has left the building. And that thought genuinely scares me. I've been pretty certain that children weren't for me. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews. I'm very happy being the cool, fun auntie who can return them when they become annoying. In fact, they've probably been the best form of contraception I've ever needed. Cross my legs, time I choose, absolutely no thank you. But recently, I've found myself thinking about it a little more. I've even considered the surrogacy route because the thought of actually being pregnant terrifies me.

14:57Vogue Williams:But there is this tiny part of me that wonders what a little mini me would be like. And Joanne, I swear, some of the jokes you make in the pod feel like I'm somehow climbed inside, you've somehow climbed inside my brain and started reading out my inner monologue.

15:09Joanne McNally:I was going to say I could have literally written this email myself.

15:13Vogue Williams:This is word for, this is like, this is exactly how I feel. Okay, I'll finish it and then we'll see what we can say. Okay, because beneath all the jokes there is a genuine sadness that I've spent so much of my life missing out on things I'd love to experience simply because they're more enjoyable or sometimes just more socially acceptable with two people. Holidays, concerts, nice dinner, nice dinners, random weekends away. I've been dying to go to the peanut file tour, for example, but then I think, who am I going to go with? And the reality is, if I want to experience these things, I'm probably going to have to go by myself.

15:45Vogue Williams:And perhaps that's what I'm struggling with most. I don't want to spend the next 35 years waiting for a partner or a friendship group to arrive before I allow myself to actually live my life. If I want to go somewhere, I need to go. If I want to see something, I need to see it. If I want to go on holiday, I need to book the bloody holiday. But here's the voice in my head saying, going alone is a bit sad, isn't it? So, Joanna Vogue, I don't think so. I suppose the advice I'm looking for is, am I a weirdo? Or more importantly, how do I make peace with the fact that my life doesn't currently look anything like I thought it would at 35, without convincing myself that I've somehow failed at life?

16:19Vogue Williams:How do I stop waiting for the husband, the friendship group, the two-person life to arrive before I give myself permission to enjoy the one I've actually got? And please tell me I'm not the only 35-year-old woman contemplating going to a paenophile tour alone and wondering, is this where my life has gone? love a chronically single woman let me try and get this I don't think that's any reflection on you no I'm not

16:42Joanne McNally:the way it sounded there was like could I get any lower

16:47Vogue Williams:and here I am

16:48Joanne McNally:wanted to go to be in a file on my own

16:52Vogue Williams:I obviously I'm coming from a different position because I have a family and a husband and all those kind of things but if I'm really honest with you sometimes I feel like other people are out living their life and doing all these amazing things like i even look at you joanne and i'm like god she's always doing so many fun things she's always got so many people around her she's always i'm like and i just don't have that because like and with my friends i'm always like are you guys just always hanging out with each other like do you see each other all the time because they're in ireland and they're like no we don't see each other all the time and the reality is that not everybody is spending these huge amounts of time together that you think they are and you always think that you're missing out on something like I feel like sometimes I'm missing out on stuff because I have so much stuff around the kids and everything like that that they just kind of take up my whole life and sometimes I worry that when they grow up or when like who am I going to ring that's why I always say to you who am I going to ring I look at my phone I ring Amber all the time I ring my mom all the time you can't ring me I started I answer calls now I know you do but when you come back but it's not even just that it's because like you're busy though like you've got work I just need a heads up

18:03Joanne McNally:just need a heads up because you were getting I'll be calling I'll be calling you 15 you were just raw dogging it regularly and I said I just need a little warning

18:10Vogue Williams:this bitch has got to back up but I'm just trying to say that like you probably think that you're doing like missing out on things and doing less than other people when actually people are doing less than you think that they're doing because everyone's life is so full of other things and work and different things that they have going on, whether it be family or friends or anything like that, that you're actually not. And people aren't doing as much as you think that they're doing. Yeah.

18:37Joanne McNally:Well, I, having been away, even where I am at the moment, with my friends, you've got kids and stuff. So obviously this email, I mean, like I said, I could have written on myself. Now I am, I am lucky in the sense that I have managed to keep friendships, but that hasn't, that hasn't always been easy. Like I've had to kind of work at friendships I've had to try and bring people back in who I feel have drifted people have brought me back in that think that I've drifted there's a very much an intentional what would I say work going into friendships now about nourishing friendships and keeping friendships and all that kind of stuff because I was actually speaking to someone about this the other day when I first moved to the UK my friends from home felt a little bit abandoned and I was like I totally understand that but like when you're in a new city you kind of have to put your time into making new friends like you can't be relying on your community with people who live in Dublin do you know 100 % the friendship thing I do think the friendship thing is easily fixed you obviously are a sound intelligent fun smart woman because you sound like you are want to go to Penafel and you're a ghost a gal and you want to go to Penafel so you've obviously you've got that going for you I think there is there comes a stage in your life you're like okay I have to actively pursue friendships and as wanky as this sounds genuinely like it's as simple as even I am like I need more friends friends in my local area so I'm going to you know that ceramics course that I did sign up to but then I couldn't go to the class because I was away.

20:01Joanne McNally:I don't want any judgment for that because I didn't even get the money back.

20:05Vogue Williams:We wouldn't have even known Joanne. I assumed it would have been after you'd done the tour. When I realised when those words were coming out of my mouth

20:13Joanne McNally:I was like fuck balls bollocks. You still got the DIY course

20:16Vogue Williams:that we were going to sign you up for as well. You were going to go on. DIY. DIY.

20:21Joanne McNally:why there was also another dinner app that came up. This kind of app came up before and I signed up where you go for dinner in your local area with five people you don't know. And I was like, that's a great idea. I signed up for that. I couldn't go in the end. Something came up. I had to work.

20:36Vogue Williams:But it is, there is. And you know what? And I know this sounds ridiculous. But it is a different kind of thing to do. Like park run and things like that to get involved in. Because having friends is great. But also don't think that like when you have a group of friends that your life is automatically going to be stuffed to the brim full of loads of different things to do because nobody does anything. Everybody is so busy all the time as well.

20:59Joanne McNally:I think it comes down, as a 43-year-old woman, I think purpose plays a big part in everyone's life at this stage. And you feel like when you don't have a partner of kids, you feel like people with partners and kids, that they have a bigger sense of purpose or a stronger sense of community or a bigger sense of belonging and they're not as lonely. In the same breath, shit goes wrong in families all the time. And there's that saying, which I'm a big believer in, where if you can find out a way to fill your own cup and then you won't feel, you have to fill your own cup and then whatever comes in around that is a bonus and a benefit.

21:40Joanne McNally:But it's not easy. You have to do the fucking work. You have to sign up for the fucking pottery class. You have to do the park run. You have to go and hang out with your mates and their kids on the beach and bury them in the sand and do all that stuff. So you do have a community and belonging, but it doesn't just happen organically anymore. We're not living in little stone villages anymore. And apparently we're lonelier and more isolated than ever before in human history. So you have to make a really concerted effort.

22:05Vogue Williams:Yeah, you've got to get yourself out there. But as well as the thing that you were saying about doing things in couples and how they should be done in couples. like my auntie used to feel like that like oh well I'm not in a couple so I shouldn't do like but my aunties two of my aunties are single they come away at me all the time they're always out for dinner like it's just no one thinks like that it doesn't matter if you're in a couple or not like it's you who people want to hang out with it's not like oh no we need a two we need a two no one needs a two I'm past that I'd rather not have a two

22:34Joanne McNally:please I used to have that feeling of like oh I you know if I'm on my own I felt with spare because it does feel like the world is wired for pairs. I've moved past that now. I had to because otherwise I would just sit in my house the whole time. Now I take great pride in it. I'm like, you can sit me in the middle of the restaurant. I don't actually give a shit anymore. Before I'd go to the restaurant, but I'd like sit me at the wall. Do you know what I mean? Or like sit me in a corner. Now I'm like, you can sit me on the counter if you want. I'll fucking strip. Do you know what I mean? Now I don't care anymore.

23:02Joanne McNally:But like I had to work through that to get to this point because otherwise life is going to pass you by. And like, think of the people that spot you in a restaurant and even if they are like oh that woman's on a restaurant they're never going to think about you again for the rest of their lives and you're going to waste time I'd never walk into a restaurant

23:18Vogue Williams:and see somebody on their own and think oh they're on their own

23:20Joanne McNally:I'd never consider that it's all about the confidence of it all you know and as well like you said Vogue there's people looking at this woman's life going god she's all the freedom that she has like I have that those conversations with friends of mine my kids I've had them with you Vogue and it's like everything always like it's like choose your heart it's hard being it's hard being in a relationship it's hard having kids it's hard not being in a relationship it's hard not having kids you just choose your heart and make the most of it it sounds like you will

23:47Vogue Williams:it sounds like you will make the most of it though

23:49Joanne McNally:I also have I've said this for so long and also I have I do struggle with actually getting stuff across the line that I wanted to set up a single section of tour shows where and we should do for our tour as well and Pinafile where we sit I love this idea there's like a single section we won't call it that because that has a kind of a depressing brand but it's like solo goer. Now that's a bit lame. You know what I mean. Look, I'm brainstorming. We're working on the name. Mingle section.

24:17Vogue Williams:The Mingles. The Minglers. It sounds like the Mingers. It sounds a bit like the Mingers. Mingle pringles. Single Mingers. Yeah. The Mingers.

24:29Joanne McNally:No, you're right Jo. Something like that. Because I do get a lot of people asking about going to shows on their own and while I have no bother doing it I know that a lot of people do feel self-conscious. You feel self-conscious. But like without being really depressing about it, we're all going to be dead really fucking soon. Don't worry, that wasn't depressing.

24:47Vogue Williams:That actually wasn't depressing at all. Thanks, Joanne. Thank you.

24:49Joanne McNally:Lovely thought. Thank you.

24:50Vogue Williams:I said it with light. You did say it with light.

24:56Joanne McNally:Like try not to reduce your life experience because you're worried what other people will think about what you're doing with your life. Because they'll all be dead soon as well. And all those couples you're seeing, they're probably have an affair dead

25:08Vogue Williams:all of them dead

25:09Joanne McNally:yeah dead

25:10Vogue Williams:dead lonely or dead okay well everyone thank you so much for listening that was fantastic

25:18Joanne McNally:also are we going to leave her again on her own

25:22Vogue Williams:for a while

25:23Joanne McNally:oh yeah you've had a I've had a third three reena reena start putting the shit up fucking cheetah

25:29Vogue Williams:joe fucking cheek her who does she think she is I don't know now joanne I'm going to be coming in I'm coming in I'm coming in to ask for my tickets it's happening soon I'm just going to pick a date

25:41Joanne McNally:you can fuck off with tickets you're doing the lights at this point if you think you're getting tickets for all three gigs I don't I only want one no you'll be you'll be pumping me out of the can because I'm going to get I'm going to get I'm going to get shot out at the end it's going to be you with the foot pedal oh she goes woo

25:59Vogue Williams:oh so exciting sorry

26:01Joanne McNally:they're on sale now

26:02Vogue Williams:they went on sale on I think it's the

26:06Joanne McNally:So, 3rd Arena, 4th December, 2026. Tickets on general sale now. When does this come out, Jo?

26:12Vogue Williams:On Wednesday the 19th of August. Yeah, they're on sale now. They are on sale on Thursday the 20th of August. I'll be selling the merch out front. You'll be doing that.

26:23Joanne McNally:There is no merch.

26:24Vogue Williams:She's right now. Well, I'll be selling the bags. You're selling your tan. I'll be selling bags and bear out front. It's called the bags and bear stand. I'll see you there. doing a tanning display on Gigi.

26:39Vogue Williams:I'm just going to come up on stage and just try and get my tan in somehow. You just need a little bit of hydrating mist. Just pop up like Katy Perry in the middle. For fuck's sake.

26:49Joanne McNally:I can have nothing. Whack-a-mole, just like whacking her back down.

26:55Vogue Williams:I just want a bit of time by myself. Oh, okay. Goodbye, everybody.

27:04Vogue Williams:This has been a global production.