What’s happening, Channing?

9:40Joanne McNally:How did they get the key? Sorry, can I just say, I was down at yours recently and we found him, we found Spencer kind of hovering at the car. It was like he was waiting for people to pass by and ask him about the car and it was very and I said I love your car and he actually smiled more than when I said congratulations on the child.

9:58Vogue Williams:What is the car? For context for anyone who cares what is the car and why does he care so much? Oh god is it an Audi an Audi an Audi RX8 or something RX5 is that what it's called? I don't know. It is slick looking now to be fair. It's a cool car and when I'm driving it I have people stop and say like oh wow nice car and I'm like, oh my God, didn't know it was this cool. Anyway, I'll tell you what happened. So then on Monday morning, Spenny rings the police and the police come over to the house. Very helpful, might I add, because I was like, why are you bothering? They're not going to do anything.

10:34Vogue Williams:Extremely helpful. Looked at the CCTV. Your man walks up to the car at quarter past two in the morning and clicks it open. No, and looks in it. The key is in the car. So Spenny left the key in his pride and joy. So your man opens the car. Yeah, took the key and then he left his little, he had this little like electric thing to try and whatever way they try and see and a drill, left them both in the car. So they're obviously in a really big rush. So try to steal the car. Svenny has the police over and they're just like, okay, well, this is what's happened. Someone's trying to steal your car. And then, because they still have the key, because I was like, well, they're hardly going to drop the key back.

11:10Vogue Williams:So then the next night, they do it again at quarter past two in the morning. 27 times they try to start the car because Svenny has this thing where he's watching it and now he has to yeah and now he has to disable the key and everything it's going to cost like two and a half grand to get the whole the whole thing has to now be changed because someone's just wandering around with that key trying to rob it whenever they want

11:29Joanne McNally:this is a great ad for the security of those cars this is similar to do you remember when your one had that Stanley Cup in the car and her car went on fire and the only thing left was the Stanley Cup and then Stanley like paid for a new car for her and stuff this is similar if that is it an Audi?

11:44Vogue Williams:an Audi yeah or X5 is that what it's called or or X6 Joe I don't know what it's called

11:48Joanne McNally:is that what it's called? I wouldn't know numbers now around them, but an Audi, that's, I think, a great advertising for an Audi that these professionals, like they've got drills and all this isn't like just like young lads. This isn't just like the lads, like coming back, coming by on an e-scooter and trying to rob the car. This was like a planned heist and they still couldn't get it. That's impressive. Two days running. And now that we've added that, if you want to gift us two Audis.

12:11Vogue Williams:Yeah, I'll take it. I'll have the QX7, the OREC7. What's it called? Q7.

12:17Joanne McNally:I'd get a license first if they could sort that that'd be fantastic

12:21Vogue Williams:Yeah and if you could also send over her pod equipment that would be really handy

12:25Joanne McNally:Oh yeah

12:26Vogue Williams:So anyway that was our week but the police said actually they're really stupid the thieves because I was like how do they not just like steal the car and he was like they're actually a lot they're a lot like dumber than you think that they are you think that because they have all these things they're going to be able to do it but actually nine times out of ten they're a bit stupid so we end up catching them anyway

12:44Joanne McNally:Well thank God they didn't it wasn't a case that they broke into the house and took the key. I know. Stop. That's terrible. We were thinking it might have been the delivery people. Is Spencer mortified that he left his key in the car? That's very something I would do. He's in disbelief.

12:58Vogue Williams:Now he does have ADD as well. Yeah.

13:01Joanne McNally:I'd say even if you showed him the CCT footage of him walking to the car and putting the key in, he'd say it was AI or something. The man is as stubborn as you. Two mules.

13:10Vogue Williams:There was a deep shock in the household when we realised that he had left the key to his pride and joy in his pride and joy and that's something that I will now have to bear the brunt of because every time I step foot in that bloody car I'll be told how to park and also to remember to take the key out when it wasn't me who never who left the key there in the first place.

13:31Joanne McNally:Well this is a win for you in a marital sense. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like this is something you can hold over his head till the day you both die. He'll go for it Stefan. I'm delighted for you.

13:47Vogue Williams:Tell me where you are, please.

13:49Joanne McNally:I'm in Seattle in America. First show looked good. First show was good. Now I went to, so you know the way this is the tour that time forgot. And when I say time, I mean myself. So I really, I like hold my hands up and say I didn't do a good job on promoting this tour. I kind of was like, oh, let the chips fall where they may. And the chips didn't fall that far. Right. So that's the issue now. But that's OK. I'm chugging along. And the big point of this roll up is to get the show down to an era for the Netflix special, which is on November 7th in New York. So that's kind of what I'm using it for.

14:19Joanne McNally:And to like write up some some fun American bits that I can throw in so that it makes more sense than I'm doing it in the States. So I was off to a good start last night in an hour and 30. And even though I was intentionally on the clock. So tonight now, because I feel like in the room, I'm like, oh, well, I don't want to hold back. You know, we're having a nice time. but of course like they're not having a nice time so tonight I'm in Portland, Oregon and it will be an hour bang bang bang bang but it's lucky I mean I did my long haul flight I obviously made a fucking pig of myself I've been trying to deflate myself since I landed the usual shit

14:55Vogue Williams:You've got to get your money's worth though

14:57Joanne McNally:Gotta get my money's worth

14:58Vogue Williams:So you're in Portland now where are you going next?

15:01Joanne McNally:I've got San Fran Sacramento Phoenix Phoenix, Arizona Cool though Denver Dallas, Texas, Houston, all over New York, everywhere Come, come, come, come, come The tour of the time forgot, come, come, come Bring your friends, tag your aunts I mean I enjoy the climb but not this much

15:25Joanne McNally:Like I'm all about a humbling experience to kind of reground you but not this much No, it's too much Las Vegas, I mean Jesus Christ Salt Lake City You know, it was like the ghost. Vogue, you know the deal. You have to plug your, you have to plug your wares. Yeah. You know, and I'm certainly not, I'm nowhere near the point, certainly in America where I don't have to plug my wares. Oh, well, I think it's. There's a lot of plugging and a lot of wearing to be done over here. But that's why I'm here. You're going to have a nice time. Doing God's work. Oh, yeah. Actually, I forgot. I think I questioned my resilience because I haven't done something like this in a while.

16:00Joanne McNally:And I was like, oh, no, it's going to be terrible. I'm actually having a really nice time.

16:03Vogue Williams:Yeah.

16:04Joanne McNally:I'm going to come home even more of a loner than I already am.

16:08Vogue Williams:You're not a loner. You're better than I am.

16:10Joanne McNally:You get used to being on your own and then suddenly outside interaction is too much work because you're just so used to just being mentally shut down all the time. It's a whole thing. I was reading about passive socializing.

16:23Vogue Williams:Because I've been spending quite a lot of time on my own. I feel bad saying that because obviously Remy's with me all the time, but like he's not giving much back, you know what I mean? So like I've spent a lot of time on my own. I'm like I don't I don't mind it too much but I can see how you would fall into like because then when I see things in the diary I'm like oh god I have to go out and like hang out with people now and it feels like a lot like like a big mental load to take it on but I've kind of like I've half gone I haven't half gone I'm dipping the toe in with some jobs this week so I did I did a Bear by Vogue shoot yesterday we did our Christmas shoot and I wore a jacket that you wore in the depths of the summer and I thought I was going to pass away and die.

17:05Vogue Williams:Like how anyone The pink fluffy thing from Saviour. Jesus Christ I couldn't it's so hot and sweaty and that's from a not hot sweaty person and I just thought of you walking around your garden in 36 degrees in that yoke. Honestly I couldn't but it's nice to be back amongst people and to be allowed to bring the baby with me like I did I did a little job today this morning as well and then I have something tomorrow so three days of work this week and everyone's let me bring the baby look at you you're letting me bring the baby to work he just comes everywhere with me I know, I'm sure I had no choice so for people telling me to enjoy him I am enjoying him and I know that the days are long but the years are short stop saying that to every new mother when we're completely wrecked

17:58Joanne McNally:the years are days are long oh yeah they're saying enjoy the sleep deprivation and the the tit must diet us now because they'll be we'll all be dead soon yeah fair

18:07Vogue Williams:yeah enjoy feeding for 10 hours a day so yeah it's just it's like there's so like I can't believe the comments haven't changed either it's like Jesus Christ can we come up with something new please we are enjoying them we're enjoying them as much as we humanly possibly can but you also have to enjoy yourself too

18:26Joanne McNally:As someone who's had to lie my whole life and tell a million mothers that the baby is the image of them. When I see no resemblance at all. I feel that there's a lot of space to be filled conversationally when people have babies and people are just throwing shit at the wall.

18:43Vogue Williams:Yeah, maybe. Can't see anything. No, no one says that about me and my kids. I'm like, well, I'll show you a picture of me as a baby. Image.

18:51Joanne McNally:Did I tell you about that when I went down to Vos to meet the new child? The artist previously known as Elvis is now known as Remy.

19:03Vogue Williams:Someone actually, someone said to me today, were you a big Elvis fan? I was like, no, I should have said, if I had said that. You're like, who's Elvis? I wasn't a big Elvis fan. But my friend Joe is a big Elvis fan.

19:19Joanne McNally:It's like I was wearing a t-shirt recently with a band name on it. Actually, I think I spoke about this before. and some guy was like, bet you can't even name one of their songs. And I was like, how dare you comment on a woman's clothes? You don't know what music I like. I haven't a fucking clue. This is a, this is, do you know what? This is a real red thread of men with like kind of Man United flags. You should take a test before you can wear, do you know one of those? Like you should have to name six Ramones songs. Like, I'm sorry, it's not my fault Ramones have sold their logo to Topshop. That's not my problem.

19:53Joanne McNally:Huh? should I tell you my interesting news I mean it's not as interesting as having a baby but now I'm talking about getting a hair transplant because my hair was slightly receding that comes with just the age that I am in my life I don't see it but yes well I went in and I was diagnosed with female pattern baldness excuse you excuse you yeah I mean I'm not big on labels but like give me that okay you can have it And it's interesting enough to have an allergy or anything like that. So all I have is female pattern baldness, which I will be putting in my bio stat. So I went in to the hair restoration clinic in Black Rock because they messaged me and they're like, would you like to come in?

20:33Joanne McNally:And we'll chat you through this because we don't want to see you just nipping off to Turkey and doing something stupid. So I went in for a consultation about this hair transplant that I would like. Now, I just would like kind of, it was really interesting actually chatting. I went into, his name was, I'm going to give you his name. I know somebody who got a transplant in there and it was really good. I spoke to a doctor, Dr. Dimitri Wall. And anyway, he was examining my hair and he's like, you'd actually be a really good candidate because you've got I've got like a lot. My hair is quite strong.

21:03And so he was examining me with one of these kind of like, you know, microscopic camera things and kind of pinning my hair back and taking photos.

21:13Joanne McNally:It was great. It was great. Lots of attention for the day. It was lovely. And then he goes, oh, and he goes, oh, my God, you've got alopecia ariana. And I was like, excuse me? What the hell is that? Exactly what I said. I said, excuse me, what the fuck is that? And he went, oh, it's alopecia. But so I'll read out the, because I've so much hair no one ever noticed before. Yeah. I was like loving the drama, but also I was like, what's the diagnosis here? He's like, it's actually quite a light case. He's like, but it's an autoimmune disease. And I was like, well, this explains why my nails are so shit.

21:49Joanne McNally:okay it's not the constant acrylics and abuse i have alopecia areata where your hair basically your immune system thinks the hair is attacking your body and it like fights back and you have i've tiny little bolt patches all over my head but why did you chuck the nails in there because i googled it then and it said it has a it has a direct effect on your nails your nails are really brittle with it. So I've been, I was like, wow, I came in for hair transplant and I've come out with an autoimmune disease. I know. I was like, what causes it? And he was like, stress. And I was like, well, that can't be me.

22:27Vogue Williams:You are the least stressed person I know. I don't think you're stressed. Yeah, I mean, you know yourself now.

22:35Joanne McNally:You know, it's stressful. There's stressful parts to, you know. So tell me, what could be done? I had to have steroid injections in my head. Pat was like, it's the drinking oh god obviously I was like mum you'd say that if I got a cataract do you know what I mean yeah leave me off anyway so I have an autoimmune disease just what I bring teeny tiny bald patches all over my head

22:59Vogue Williams:and tell me so what's happening with the hair transplant like

23:03Joanne McNally:little crop circles all over my head with bald crop circles

23:08Vogue Williams:you'd never bloody know

23:10Joanne McNally:because you've so much hair you're like a sweet that's it he was like it's just has gone undiagnosed so then I had to get steroid injections and do you know what he said it was in Ireland obviously and he's like oh he said do you know who else has it the hiking woman Roxanne and I was like what he goes yeah the hiking woman Roxanne something and I said do you mean Roz Purcell

23:32Vogue Williams:oh does she

23:33Joanne McNally:he's like yes yes she has it yeah apparently so

23:37Vogue Williams:and she's loads of hair as well yeah

23:40Joanne McNally:I hate to say this but apparently it's quite common really it's disappointing of course because I wanted something special. Do you know when you're a kid and you want to wear glasses and braces because you want to stick out? I had a touch of that. I was like, well, this sounds interesting. And then he was like, no, it's quite common, actually. Anyway, yeah, teeny tiny crop circle ball patches all over my head. I have an autoimmune disease, so I've applied for benefits. What?

24:01Vogue Williams:Did you get your car, your car pass? I was just going to say. Can I borrow it until you get your car? I'm joking. Hang on, are you getting a hair transplant? Are you getting a hair transplant or no?

24:13Joanne McNally:My mother was like, oh, would you not, like, would you be public about it or would you not do it on the, on privately? And I was like, I can't do it. I can't, I do it a visual podcast twice a week. If I'm doing it, I can't hide it.

24:27Vogue Williams:Didn't, like, didn't Jamie Lang, will you just fact check this, Jo? Didn't Jamie Lang, like, I think, I'm pretty sure he paid for one and told Sven and I about it and, like, said he didn't want anyone to know, so he paid for it and then he ended up, like, harping on about it to everybody so he was offered a free one and he was like no I'd rather pay and keep it private and then he ended up just talking about something anyway.

24:50Joanne McNally:I'd say post-op then you're I'd say you're so thrilled with the result that you are going to speak about it but I think you wouldn't want to be doing it like minute by minute as in do you know the way because it's one of those things that a lot of companies reach out because since I spoke about it in the pod there was companies that reached out because it is something that makes sense for them to have documented like the journey of it but that is a bit invasive but so you see my hairline there it's kind of become I won't say my obsession it's not an obsession it's not I'm not that shallow but I'm sorry my phone it does bother me so I don't know he was like look you're a great candidate for it so we'll see I would just get like literally like a couple I just get like a meter there

25:35Vogue Williams:where's Joanne's forehead gone Is that a fringe or what is that? Just get a meter there. I'd go right to the brows. If you're going to do it, go right down to the brows for sure. Yeah. And he could like pant the brows in with the hair. Yeah.

25:49Joanne McNally:Yeah.

25:49Vogue Williams:All the donor hair, all the way down to the brows. I remember in school, a girl got diagnosed with diabetes and I was like, I have never wanted something more. And like, it's a really, really tough thing to live with. But at the time, obviously, I didn't know it. I just saw her getting loads of attention and having those dextro energy suits. And I was like, I want in on that.

26:05Joanne McNally:we're such thirsty we're so thirsty as children in particular we just love attention attention seekers anything that's kind of a point of difference

26:18Joanne McNally:speaking of thirsty bastards Channing Tatum

26:22Vogue Williams:and his burner I okay I mean so Channing Tatum is supposed to have a burner account on Instagram and a burner account is basically an account that you use to kind of troll other people and like you You hide behind it. You don't use your real name. And you use it to do things that you wouldn't want people knowing that you're doing. And people have come to the conclusion that Channing Tatum has a burner account. But this burner account only follows Channing Tatum. And I think that, like, when it first came out, I was like, there's no way he's been stung. Like, it'd be too hard to try and catch somebody if they had a burner account.

26:59Vogue Williams:And he's not going to follow himself, only himself. Channing Tatum has a burner account. By the way I have one too

27:05Joanne McNally:It's called Vogue Williams Just brazenly Vogue Williams won

27:09Vogue Williams:The avoidance of legal doubt Channing Tatum denies That this is his burner account Not allegedly he denies it He doesn't allegedly deny it

27:20Joanne McNally:He allegedly denies it But allegedly it's real

27:23Vogue Williams:No I believe him

27:26Joanne McNally:Of course he's going to deny it He So I will fact check you there, Vogue. He follows the account. Now, please don't piss on my cornflakes because I just love, I live for this shit. I don't want to be, I don't want to hear anything apart from complete agreeance.

27:44Vogue Williams:I just can't though.

27:46Joanne McNally:We've known. Celebrities obviously have burner accounts. I mean, I have a public account and a burner account so I can go in and have a little look around to see things that I wouldn't necessarily want people to know that I'm looking at, you know what I mean? I don't use it to comment or anything like that but like you know my mother has a burner account for God's sake

28:04Vogue Williams:I used to use my mum's account to look at people there you go

28:08Joanne McNally:I mean that's not that discreet really Vogue

28:11Vogue Williams:no I realised that so then I stopped doing it because it wasn't discreet at all actually and people that I'd be watching their stories gleefully being like and then I'd be like oh wait hang on a second they're going to be like why is Vogue's mum looking at my stories

28:23Joanne McNally:well Channing Tatum has a burner account called Nunya Business

28:28Vogue Williams:he denies that he has it legally speaking he denies yeah because he's been stung

28:32Joanne McNally:no no surveillance operation has ever been this badly managed by a celebrity in my personal opinion well he's whistleblown himself he's his own whistleblower

28:43Vogue Williams:there's a post that he commented on about Zoe and Harry on that De Moi page and it said just here for the hate with popcorn I know he's probably raging that he broke up with his girlfriend and she went out with Harry Styles because there is nothing worse, I think. There's no one else, like there's no one I'd hate less as a man that my girlfriend would go out with Harry Styles. He'd be like, God, anyone but him. But I just, I just, I can't believe he would be that stupid.

29:10Joanne McNally:I'm not being bad, but it's, it's Magic Mike. Like I'm not being, I'm sorry, I'm not being bad, but like it's, it's, it's Magic Mike. No offense, Channing. I'm sure you have, you know, a normal level of intelligence, but this is real like if this was a woman now there would be no breadstones back, there would be no there would be no evidence do you know what I mean, the thing would be wiped clean, there would be no fingerprints on the burner like it would be done and dusted it would be high end security but lads are, when it comes to surveillance of your ex, thick as shit I mean, bearing in mind lest we remember remember the guy who got stung with a makeup brush in his car and he said it was because his car was broken into when the police came and used it to try and get fingerprints.

29:56Joanne McNally:This is what we're dealing with. This account, none of your business, has exclusively shaded Zoe Kravitz, who's his ex, his ex-wife, whose name I can't remember. Well, he also called J-Lo pathetic and also bigged him up. Jenna Dewan. Yes. Some people think it might be his mother if it's not him. It just goes to show money, success, abs, cannot buy emotional maturity and I am here for it. I have I've never been more moved by a celebrity story. I just think. This is the equivalent of one of them saying they know how much a pint of milk is. They're just so relatable. This is just so relatable.

30:34Vogue Williams:I just feel that there is like. He's now unfollowed the account. There's no bigger shame than being caught having a burner account, especially one where you're abusing people. It was like when all that stuff came out about Tatl and everyone kind of shat their pants because they've been on Tatl abusing everyone for years and they thought that they get. because there's literally no bigger shame than that. But I think that some celebs do have burner accounts. Like Jennifer Lawrence came out and said that she has a burner account and she just likes to go on to TikTok and start fights with people. I mean, if that's what you want to do in your free time, but like I just can't imagine Channing Tatum is going on and like trying to slag off his ex-wife.

31:10Joanne McNally:Vogue, are you saying that in your spare time you wouldn't enjoy going online anonymously and picking fights with people? Because that is not the Vogue I know, if you're going to deny that publicly.

31:19Vogue Williams:I never ever I genuinely think that if I was going to slag someone off online I'd just slag them off as myself because I find the shade behind like it's so cowardly to hide behind if you're going to do it just do it do it right like slag me to my face with your actual account or just don't bother

31:38Joanne McNally:I'll go through my finsta please but there is there is an other kind of conspiracy or there is another suggested story which obviously I don't want to engage with that it was originally a Channing Tatum fan account that he followed because he does engage with fan accounts he does he's engaged with like Zoe's fan account and his ex's fan account and that then they kind of rebranded the page and they didn't delete him as a follower because you know he's a juicy follower and that he's been kind of stung off the back of it because there was a tweet or there was a post they made a while ago saying they're a Gemini and he's not a Gemini blah blah blah but like that's what that's that's what a celebrity troll would say I'm desperate to think it's real so my own reality

32:22Vogue Williams:what was that account in Ireland remember that one went around and it was basically calling loads of people out for stuff what was it called Blogger Unveiled yes Blogger Unveiled that was like it was like the Gossip Girl era of our time where there was an account called Blogger Unveiled and it was like literally just finding out all these information of different bloggers and outing them basically. God, that was thrilling for the moment that happened.

32:50Joanne McNally:But when you see yourself getting slagged off relentlessly, like it would turn you into a lunatic. Do you remember your one, and we've spoken about her loads, but like, hey ho, that's the nature of it. Your one, she was a mother and she ended up slagging off all her mates and stuff on top of it because she was trying to... Mothers and daughters or something like that. She was trying to defend herself. So she ended up kind of going too dark down the hall and she was like, to make this look legit, I have to slag off everyone I love and she ended up calling her husband like a useless bastard like she really fell down the hole I can see how it would happen I can see it, the internet sends you a loony like someone was saying I think Harry Styles' mother has a finsta and she goes around kind of defending him on threads and stuff, I have no doubt Pat, my mother, is engaged in warfare on some sort of thread somewhere defending me, I have no doubt in my mind we just don't talk about it because it's like there's no point bringing it into the light because we don't want to acknowledge it but I've no doubt she is

33:49Vogue Williams:My mum and Gina because they are daily mail readers and they get really upset about the comments that they read about me they're like I nearly posted something myself I'm like please don't engage in any of that because I genuinely think and if you are one of those people I just think if you're commenting on the daily mail it's like uh oh and they're obviously not people that I'd be hanging around with. So those kind of comments just don't even touch the sides of me. And that's what I try and say to my mom. I'm like, mom, if any of them say anything nice about me, that's when you should start getting worried.

34:25Vogue Williams:Like, leave them to it.

34:26Joanne McNally:I will say, I agree. There's slagging people off online. There's kind of throwing out shady comments. But the Daily Mail, I mean, it's a real low. Like, if you're engaging in the Daily Mail, if you're writing Daily Mail comments, you need to like up your game a bit come on. Just don't check for Joanna McNulty 3 Creative Insta Did you see the kind of open letter digital post that Chloe Ormond made who is Brian Ormond's daughter and Pip O 'Connor's stepdaughter this week

35:04Vogue Williams:So Brian Ormond and Pippa O 'Connor. Pippa owns a lovely makeup brand. I've known her quite a long time. I don't know her well, to be honest, but I used to work with her back in the day. And they're kind of like, for the Brits listening, or anyone outside of Ireland, they're kind of like, they're well-known people in Ireland. Pippa's stepdaughter and Brian's daughter came out with a very, very, very big statement, basically saying that she wasn't part of the family.

35:39Joanne McNally:So I'm saying this and we're discussing this very tentatively because like it's without throwing more fuel on the fire. So the daughters come out and basically said like I was never made feel welcome in the house and you are she was presenting this kind of very curated wholesome mumsy vibe online and the daughters basically coming out saying like I never felt that way and I'm sick of I was never given kindness and all this stuff. I I'm being very careful here because I don't want to say anything mad because we don't know the full details yet. But there's a part of me that is like really do we need to air this stuff?

36:18Joanne McNally:Do we need to air this private stuff?

36:21Vogue Williams:I kind of feel the exact same. I just don't know what the point of airing. She's come out with another couple of statements. My friend sent it to me last night because if anything happens in Ireland everyone sends it to everyone. But like she's come out now and said another thing last night as to why she posted it online. But I just think it's the same when Brooklyn Beckham did it. I just felt like, no, like you cannot. That's what I mean. Like it's your family at the end of the day. You cannot do that to your family.

36:50Joanne McNally:Just do it at home. I don't think they'll be the first stepdaughter, stepmother in the world to have a kind of a tense relationship. I think that's kind of almost like a trope at this point, that it's always a kind of a tricky dynamic. and your family it's like Ed Sheeran's cousin did you see him? came out Ed's been put through the ringer at the moment and his cousin came out and was like I told you he was a dick I thought he was a dick our whole lives he's a dickhead I was like wow wow wow it's going to make Christmas difficult isn't it? I mean

37:22Vogue Williams:my god fucking hell Jesus

37:25Joanne McNally:I think Ed has made some questionable choices of late for sure I don't think he's like you know being the best version of himself or made the smartest, soundest decisions, but your cousin coming out, annihilating you online.

37:38Vogue Williams:Ah, your cousin's far enough away they can fuck with you.

37:41Joanne McNally:Can a family not internally fall apart and have lots of family trauma without everyone knowing about it?

37:49Vogue Williams:Please. This is normal family shit. Yeah. Can we just all start, please can we just start bitching about each other behind our backs, please, preferably. And can we... Yes! Scrap with your family behind closed doors. and then tell everyone about it but you can't put it out there. You have to just, it takes longer but you just got to spread it around yourself. Yeah, it's called manners. Like,

38:12Joanne McNally:if anything, you know, set up a fake Instagram account. Slag your family off on Tattl if they're in the public eye. But like, I just think taking it all to a public Insta story, I just don't know. I think we're, I think we're a bit tired of it from the Beckham thing and unless there's serious abuse happening and then that's a different thing. But I don't know. I'm like, she's, well, she's entitled to feel how she feels. I'm not saying that. But going public with it like that, I'm just like, I don't know.

38:42Vogue Williams:But Pippa hasn't said anything about it and I don't think that she will. I mean, what are you going to say?

38:47Joanne McNally:What's the point?

38:54Vogue Williams:Did you see, and this is a really sad news story, but just kind of a mad story. did you see the man who killed someone over a sunbed but it was an 82 year old man he got in a scrap with a man in his 70s over a sun lounger on a beach in greece and they basically were fighting over who owned the sunbed and the 70 the man in the 70s ended up killing the man who's 82 so now your man who's about to live out his last final years in his 70s i mean he probably has 15 20 years left is now going to end up in prison and this other 82 year old man is dead and it's over like the sunbed wars that are going on i don't like you see people sleeping on them overnight so that they can save the best sunbeds for the next day so when they're in a hotel they're all waiting and throwing their towels on them but they're not allowed to do that anymore can we not just get more sunbeds like why don't have hotels have enough sunbeds this is why men need

39:51Joanne McNally:therapy because without going full wax on, wax off, my gut says this isn't to do with the sunbed per se. The call is coming from inside the house. These men are very frustrated. They have anger issues. They have severe tempers and it turned into some sort of masculine sunbed off. And now one of them is going to prison to do hard time. He's going to be eating grill for the last couple of years, which probably suits him because he's probably got no teeth. He's and 70s. Yeah. The stories that I've read about people trying to keep their sun loungers is, to be honest, like hotels need to cop the fuck on.

40:30Joanne McNally:It's like overbooking flights. If I paid a couple of grand for a holiday and then was in a situation where I had to go full Bear Grylls like squid game in the morning to get a seat or I'm lounging on the grass, it's a disgrace. And look, I know first world problems, but like we only know our own problems. that's all we can talk about. It's ridiculous. They need to do every hotel room needs to get a sun lounger when you arrive to the hotel. Yeah. This is your sun lounger, Jo, Attywell, you are 56. Fogue Williams, you are 73. That's your sun lounger for the four days you're here or whatever you're here.

41:07Joanne McNally:That's the end of it. The fact that you need some sort of security team now walking around sun lounging areas to try and keep the peace is ridiculous. I'm expecting armed guards at this point.

41:18Vogue Williams:I feel like maybe people are just taking more sunbeds than they're allowed to take and maybe letting their young kids sit in a sun lounge. You know when you get in a bus at the airport or something and you see all these little kids just sitting on the seats on the bus and there's all these really old people who are trying not to fall over and die as the bus careers around the airport and these little kids are like, there's a limit. Kids, like three year olds shouldn't get their own sunbeds if everyone's scrapping over sunbeds.

41:46Joanne McNally:Who would have thought doing UV these sunbeds would be better for you than actually trying to get a sun lounger beside a pool. I mean, have you seen the videos of them? Have you seen those apocalyptic clips of people running? It's like they've been let out of a, like a kind of a fritzel basement and they're running for freedom and they're running across, jumping across trying to get sun loungers. Like, I mean, I don't know what the solution is. It seems so utterly bizarre. It'd be like, it'd be like paying thousands of quid for a cruise ship and then you've no dinghy, seat, bed. It's very Titanic coded, I would say.

42:27Yeah, I agree.

42:29Joanne McNally:It's like Lord of the Flies vibes and it's literally just an all-inclusive in fucking Fangarola. And now it's like an Olympic sport. Like you're up training in the morning to see can you get down and get your sunlanger. And then do you remember the sunlanger vigilante woman who ended up on this morning because she literally did one TikTok where she took a towel off of bed

42:47Vogue Williams:and everyone was like, yes! I've seen some sunbed fights on TikTok and I'm like, Jesus Christ, like going mental over sunbeds. You know, you can get a pop-up sunbed in the shop and it would cost you about nine euro. Bring your own to the pool, I say. I'm so sorry, I'm so shocked. We never finish stories with solutions.

43:07Joanne McNally:I didn't, this is mind-blowing.

43:10Vogue Williams:Did you know that? That's actual consumer advice. That's real. Well, only because Auntie Gina has a special, we rent sunbeds on the beach, but then she brings her own seat that she likes to sit down at the shore sometimes if the mood may take her because she doesn't like swimming in the sea. So she'll sit and get her little bum wet and that's about it.

43:31Joanne McNally:Sunlounge Awards bring out the worst in us. It's like a soup kitchen. It's like there's a serious shortage of something that's massively important for the human condition and human survival. And it sends people crazy.

43:44Vogue Williams:Yeah, well I'm glad to say I've never had a fight everyone.

43:47Joanne McNally:Thank God. Anyway, God rest his soul. Hope we went out with a tan and no tan lines. And I hope that guy who killed him gets tan lines. That's what I hope for him. As revenge. I'd say he's got worse coming his way. That's ridiculous.

44:01Vogue Williams:Everyone, thank you so much for listening. Ah, look at the baby. Baby on the pod. He loves pouting. He's like his Auntie Joanne. Are you mad about him? Mad about him. I don't know how I'll ever leave him behind. Just let my little... come in my little pocket everywhere. I love bringing him everywhere. He comes everywhere. Oh.

44:28Vogue Williams:This has been a Global Production.

44:34Vogue Williams:Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.

44:41Joanne McNally:My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast. An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees may apply.