One Bad Chicken Wing Away From the Presidency

0:28This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. One World Trade Center at Lower Manhattan. It's Newsweek Radio with your host, Jesse Edwards. What the hell? I thought I'd bring back the old open from Newsweek Radio of yesteryear. Wow, that's a blast from the past. Yeah, I've been doing this for about two years now. Coming up on two years this June and 12 million downloads later. That means on average, I've got 6 million a year. Divide that by 12 and roughly 500 ,000 of you hear this show every month. Divide that by 30 per month and roughly 16 ,000 people listen to the show every day, which is remarkable.

1:05I can't thank you enough. Please go over to Apple or Spotify and give us five stars and be sure to subscribe. Thank you. And here's a top trending headline at Newsweek.com right now. Republicans vote to dilute gas as prices above$4.50 a gallon. They're going to water it down with more ethanol, which is going to be terrible for your engine. House Republicans passed a bill on Wednesday that would allow nationwide year-round sales of E15. A blend of gasoline mixed with 15 % ethanol, also known as unleaded 88, a product that refiners and retailers normally cannot sell in and around half the country, at least during the summer months due to air pollution concerns.

1:43Yeah, unleaded 88 sounds a lot more sexy than E15, that's for sure. Not that they need my marketing advice, but... The Nationwide Consumer and Fuel Retailer Choice Act, H.R. 1346, passed the House by a 218-203 vote. but still thankfully faces an uncertain future in the Senate where it would need 60 votes to clear a filibuster and be sent to President Trump's desk. Lawmakers hope the measure could offer relief to drivers at the pump. Yeah, not starting a war with Iran would have been an even greater relief. Let's hope this doesn't get passed. Or you're going to want to switch up to that premium grade if you want to preserve the integritae of your vehicle.

2:21This would be fantastic for mechanics all over the country for repairing the damage that 15 % ethanol can do to your engine. This is the Republican response to increased gas prices because Trump started a war after running on a platform that specifically promised not to do exactly this. Our president will start a war with Iran because he has absolutely no ability to negotiate. He's weak and he's ineffective. Now, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind if the gas prices went up to$10 per gallon. In theory, if it meant fewer drivers on the road. Because nothing brings out my inner rage demons than driving around in traffic anywhere USA.

3:02From people who don't use their turn signals to somebody always in front of me going 10 miles under the speed limit, while at the same time always having some jackass tailgate me so much to the point where these hot-headed morons think that my need to use the brakes on occasion is somehow me brake checking them. You know exactly the kind of idiots I'm talking about here. And I could go on all day about how a lot of people in this country, I dare say half of us, should not be allowed to operate motor vehicles, let alone vote for that matter. Oh, I have a 100 % perfect driving score, by the way, and I'm 46.

3:38No speeding tickets, no parking tickets, nothing. But my insurance keeps going up because millions of other people who shouldn't be behind the wheel are allowed to do so.

3:52And I get the blessed privilege of covering the cost of this ineptitude every month. This isn't collectivism fun, kids? Oh, man, voting is very similar in my book. because half of the population votes, even though they have no idea who or what they're voting for. And you and I get to live with and pay for the consequences. Case in point, the kind of people who thought it would be a great idea to put Trump back in office, not realizing that he just needed that second term to cash out on his original investment, since there is no accountability to the people once you don't need them to vote for you again.

4:30Look, I can and do fully understand the mistake of putting this prolific ass clown into office the first time. But I will never understand how anyone could have possibly voted for him the second time. Other than the fact that Kamala Harris was just as vastly underqualified and intellectually stunted as he was at the time. No, she's probably a better candidate today. Only because his cheese continues to slide off the proverbial cracker as his mind and body begin to shut down because he's too old to serve as our president. And at this point, Trump kicking the KFC bucket is the only chance that J.D.

5:08Vance will ever have a chance at becoming the president himself. Another headline at Newsweek right now. Trump has letter ready for J.D. Vance if he dies or is killed. Yes, Trump keeps a letter in the Resolute Desk addressed to Vice President J.D. Vance in the event that Trump dies or is assassinated, according to a White House counterterrorism official named Sebastian Gorka, who revealed the existence of the letter during a podcast interview amid renewed focus on security threats facing the president during his trip to China. Yeah, thanks, Sebastian. Every president has a letter like this for their VP, but go back and watch National Treasure again.

5:44I do like National Treasure. It's a guilty pleasure. And an absolutely terrible movie. But you gotta know that being left home alone in the White House while Trump and everybody else, including Elon Musk, the very guy who insisted that Trump is in the Epstein files less than a year ago, back in June of 25? Yeah, they all took off to China without JD for some high-level talks with Xi Jinping Winnie the Pooh Ping. Xi Jinping Winnie the Pooh Ping. That's great. That's going to stick. That's what I call that guy on this show from now on. Xi Jinping Winnie the Pooh Ping. Apparently, he doesn't like being called Winnie the Pooh because he bears a striking resemblance to Winnie the Pooh.

6:22Bears a striking resemblance. No pun intended for Xi Jinping Winnie the Pooh Ping. I don't travel outside of the country with the president of the United States. So on days today, I sometimes feel like Macaulay Culkin and home alone. I walk into the White House and it's very quiet and no one's there. And it takes me a second to realize exactly what's going on. Wow. Yeah. That's going to be uncomfortable. But he's right, actually. It's not official protocol, but the Secret Service will not allow them to travel abroad together in case something does happen. There would still be somebody in charge back at home, which has got me thinking.

6:55sure. I mean, J.D. Vance is a total pud. But if I'm being honest with myself, I've got to admit that he's still better than Trump himself. I mean, a dirty mop would be better than Donald Trump. Now just go with me here for a second and put yourself in J.D.'s shoes. And just think about your one possible shot at being the President of the United States and how it all hinges on the one issue of being required by the situation you were given by life, to reach out for that brass ring is to support the one man that you publicly up until that point described as evil incarnate. J.D. Vance, former President Trump's VP pick, once called him a moral disaster and, quote, possibly America's Hitler.

7:42My current plan is to vote either third party or, as I joke to my wife, I might write in my dog because that's about as good as it seems.

7:56I couldn't do it myself personally, but everybody's different. Some people are willing to do extraordinary things to get what they want. And if J.D. Vance really wants to be our president, just look at him. I mean, he's one bad chicken wing away from it, which is a lot closer than most people with political aspirations ever get. And he's only 41 years old. Holy crap. I mean, come on, man. I knew he was young, but I didn't know he was five years younger than I am. And now I'm completely depressed. Anyway, I think the point is that as bad as J.D. Vance is, he still does not hold a candle to the flaming gas bag we currently have pilfering the petty cash.

8:36I'm sorry. Yeah, you better watch that candle around these vapors, J.D. Likely to blow up in your face. Anyway, that's it for this week. And until we can do it again, it's Newsweek Radio. I'm Jesse Edwards. Catch you next time. Bye. And we say bye-bye. Newsweek Radio is a member of the Trust Project. But, you know, I think there's a chance, if I feel like Trump has a really good chance of winning, that I might have to hold my nose and vote for Hillary Clinton.