The Price is Wrong, Mitch. Go To Bed.

0:28This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. and completely out of it, unquote, when he tried to stop McConnell from ending a hearing because several senators had questions remaining. Take a listen to this disaster of a train wreck on top of a head-on collision. Okay, here's where we are. The vote is about over. Secretary has to... I'm sorry, but oh my God. Start that over again. Okay, here's where we are. The vote is about over. the secretary has to get with the president. I can't understand him. On the China trip, I'm going to ask Senator Murkowski to wrap up. I understood that. And thank you all for being here.

1:12Baldwin, Shaheen, and Kennedy. Baldwin, Shaheen, and Kennedy still have questions. Oh, wow. Wrap up after. Yeah. Obviously, there's not a whole lot of time for a second round, So we'll get through everybody. And Senator McGowan, I appreciate you taking over. Okay. Yeah, how dare this person remind Mitch McConnell that his meeting wasn't over yet. Okay, here's where we are. Mines. Mines. Yes, I think that Mitch McConnell has gone from turtle to toad status officially. Nobody even likes Mitch McConnell. Not the Republicans and certainly not the Democrats. but suddenly our diaper-clad dunce of a president has a flicker of empathy for a fellow dementia patient and fires the staffer who dared to remind our drooling holy dignitary that keeps falling down I've fallen and I can't get up!

2:07that the meeting wasn't quite over yet there, Grandpa Pants. No, don't get me wrong, I cannot blame Mitch McConnell for one second for wanting to bail in a way that suggests he needed to take a monster emergency dump. People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once. But these meetings are absolute death, and I would rather sit on the toilet for an hour than to sit and listen to a raw dog senate hearing like this. Thank you all for being here. Baldwin, Shaheen, and Kennedy. Baldwin, Shaheen, and Kennedy still have questions. I've been paid for a very long time for my ability to digest and regurgitate the news publicly.

2:44And even I wouldn't be able to get through one of these hearings in real time without jamming the sharp end of two pencils into each ear just to avoid the dull pain of listening to these dinosaurs try to communicate with each other. Mitch McConnell is 84 years old and he can barely talk, walk, or eat a sandwich without half of it ending up on his face. He should be on bed rest with a saline drip, a nurse, and never-ending reruns of The Price is Right.

3:14Senator Mitch McConnell, come on down. You're the next contestant on... The price is wrong, bitch. Speaking of the price is wrong, here's some audio of our dumbass president talking in front of a roaring jet engine saying that he doesn't care about the cost of living for Americans. He's just interested in those weapons of mass destruction hiding in Iran. What extent are American financial situations motivating you to make a deal? Not even a little bit. The only thing that matters when I'm talking about Iran, they can't have a nuclear weapon. I don't think about America's financial situation. I don't think about anybody.

3:51I think about one thing. We cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon. That's all. Well, if that was difficult for you to hear, that's because most people on this planet, including the media, are absolute morons who think that it's perfectly acceptable to record audio and video of the president of the United States in front of a roaring jet engine. Now, the executive branch is just as stupid for allowing these trash recordings to begin with. I'm guessing Trump does it on purpose, just to piss people like me off. Oh yes, I do have a much cleaner take of Trump saying virtually the same exact thing indoors without the sound of a Sikorsky Patriot helicopter blasting like a hot furnace in the background.

4:30How do we fix this country? How do we come back together? I'll tell you something that's going to get me in trouble, but I couldn't care less. And I appreciate that soundbite more than most because it's probably the only time I've heard any physical evidence of Trump being honest. And that's it. That's all. Trump doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about us. He doesn't care about the real people who fund this country or the struggles we face on a daily basis. All Trump has ever cared about is Trump. You already know this. And that's why I think so many of you listen to this show because you just want to hear somebody else say it once in a while so you don't feel crazy for feeling and thinking the same things multiple times during your day as you try to scrape by after what little our corrupt and incompetent government allows you to keep after they take their big bite out of it.

5:14Why, yes, I've thought about leaving the country multiple times. Thanks for asking. Anybody want to go with me? No, you little bastards have to stay here. How did you even get in here? Where are your parents for crying out loud? Top trending headline at Newsweek, From Taxes to Trump. Why Americans are Renouncing Their Citizenship Nearly 5 ,000 people called it quits with the United States in 2024, according to data from Boundless, which provides immigration services to individuals and families. That was up from 2 ,426 in 2021, and from the roughly 2 to 400 reported every year before 2009. Newsweek spoke with three former Americans who have renounced their citizenship to understand what is fueling the recent increase and what is driving people to face a lengthy, complex process and waiting in line for months.

6:03Oh boy, that sounds like a lot of fun. Americans living abroad can renounce U.S. citizenship in front of a diplomat or a consular office of the United States in a foreign state. You have to fill out some forms, which are reviewed by the State Department, and attend two interviews with a U.S. diplomat or consular office abroad, one of which has to be in person, and then you have to take the oath of renunciation in person. Any request must be reviewed, approved, and acknowledged by the State Department. Forget all that. I mean, because I'm not doing any of your silly paperwork or bizarre oath of renunciation rituals.

6:35I'm out. And I'm not going to play along with your state religion game. The request might make you stateless, the department warns. Oh, please don't throw me into the briar patch. And may result in an applicant being barred from the country if the reason for renouncing is found to be to avoid U.S. taxes. And it turns out this is one of the main reasons why many Americans renounced their citizenship in the first place. Big shocker there, right? Now, don't get me started on taxes too late. You won't even have income tax to pay because the money we're taking in is so great. It's so enormous that you're not going to have income tax to pay.

7:09Yeah, many of you already know that there's only one thing on this earth that I detest more than Donald Trump as a conservative never Trumper. And that is the IRS. S. And as I've said many times before, and I'll say many times again, if, and it's a big if, Trump were ever to somehow eliminate the income tax for the middle class and the lower class fine, it would be the one and only thing that could ever convince me that his existence was worth all of the hassle. That's how strongly I feel about our government's ability to pinch from my wallet and charge me for existing and being productive in the first place.

7:46It's enough to make me want to leave the country a hundred times over, to be honest with you. The problem is that I'll just end up getting taxed by somewhere else anywhere I wind up. So unless I just wander off into the forest, never to be heard from or seen again, I'm just going to be trading one failed human system for the next. I mean, the allure of walking off into the forest is real for a lot of us, I know, but I just can't help but wonder if there's a more healthy and productive way to channel that specific energy. I don't know, maybe if enough of us can collectively start living as expats within the confines of the United States border, we could create, I don't know, a sort of fantasy league politics where we act out and build a better way of living.

8:30A United States 2.0 where the middle class is not taxed to death. And we hold our multiple felon wannabe dictators accountable for the things that they've done instead of re-electing them to the highest office in the land. But there I go, daydreaming like an idiot again. I know, shame on me, right? For thinking that a country this rich and this loud and this self-worshipping and this addicted to congratulating itself should somehow be better than this. Okay, here's where we are. The vote is about over. Baldwin, Sheehan, and Kennedy still have questions. Yeah.