Trump Is the Conservative I Refuse to Become

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0:33It's Newsweek Radio. I'm Jesse Edwards. Yeah. I guess if I was going to put on my optimism glasses for just a minute, I would have to say that I am thankful for Donald Trump in the sense that he has shown me everything that I do not want to be as a human being or as somebody who identifies as a conservative, even if I am an extremist libertarian, which is kind of a contradiction in terms. It's like an extremist centrist. Doesn't make a lot of sense on paper, but I say it so you get the point. Yes, I wear Birkenstocks and I even voted for Obama twice. But I also carry a.357 revolver with me everywhere I go because I'm also a proud Second Amendment gun nut.

1:11I'm also pro-life and pro-choice, and so incredibly anti-racist that I openly and aggressively promote a colorblind and genderblind philosophy that treats everyone like equals, God forbid. Us libertarians are kind of like political hermaphrodites, excuse the expression, and we kind of like it both ways. The basic rule is do not hurt people and do not take their stuff, which just so happens to be the exact opposite ethos of somebody like our man-child of a president, Donald Trump. My favorite meme of the week that I saw floating out there on the internets is this mom figure scolding Trump that he can't have his Greenland because he hasn't finished his Venezuela yet.

1:51And look, it's cute, but it's not what Republicans or independents voted for. and his supporters are either dropping like flies or grabbing onto Trump's empty trademark facade even harder. But this ridiculous person, this pathetic excuse for a human being, who got to be president twice because he knew how to buy and bully his way in, has taught me everything that I will ever need to know about exactly where I stand politically between these left and right wings that so often work against each other rather than for each other. And that kind of clarity is priceless. So thank you, President Trump, for that, at least.

2:26We spend so much time focusing on what each side wants that we've completely ignored what the entire bird, the body politic, needs to survive. We can't even manage to fly straight for any amount of time. Because every four to eight years, we trail off in one extreme direction or the other, as power shifts from the left to the right and back again in a never-ending tailspin. And people are getting wise to it, thankfully. And look, I'm not a Twitter-never-gonna-call-it-X guy, but I do take a peek over there on occasion just to see what the right wing is chattering about. Between the good, bad, and the ugly on Twitter, never gonna call it X, I just don't like the way it makes me feel like I've just opened the Ark of the Covenant and my face starts melting.

3:04It's just gross. It's a conspiracy wonderland on the right for the most part. But it also has superior memes to Facebook, which is where us old farts spend a lot of our time. Yeah, we can go through my phone and see which memes I'm looking at this week. Like this one, for example. Apologies to my audio-only listeners of about 100 ,000 strong. You'll have to watch the YouTube version of this to see what I'm talking about, but it's a picture of Clinton, Bush, and Obama who look like good, honest men next to Donald Trump who's flipping off that auto worker at the Ford factory the other day. Yeah, Trump flipped him off and said, F you for calling him a pedo protector.

3:39So Ford suspended the guy, but it looks like his GoFundMe as of this recording is approaching a million dollars. Dude's name is TJ Sabula. And good for that guy. That's one hell of a payday for uttering a couple of accurate words against a scumbag. Congratulations, TJ Sabula, and thank you for making the worst American in American history angry with your comments, sir. We applaud you. I'll even give you an honorary golf clap. Thank you. That's fantastic, and own that middle finger that he sent your way. What other memes do I have on my phone? Should we go through them? Yeah, why not? Who cares?

4:11Oh, I love this one. In 2020, it was the purple-haired liberals who were telling us to comply with government over COVID orders, otherwise we would die. And now it's the conservatives saying virtually the same thing about ICE raids. Comply or die. Oh, what's that we hear over the last 24 hours? ICE shot somebody else? And a flashbang seriously injured an infant? And now Trump is threatening the Insurrection Act and suggesting that we shouldn't have a midterm election in 2026. He's officially at war with Iran and Venezuela and Greenland and now Minnesota as well. Well, not officially at war, but it's about as official as things get with this idiot because he does not follow protocol.

4:48And we've decided to find it charming. I know, bad optics, right? Well, it doesn't seem to matter to Donald Trump because he's got nothing to lose. Nobody knows how to stop him from doing whatever he wants. So much for checks and balances, huh? Thank you very much. This toad figured out how to squirm around every single one of them. Ha! Ha! Ha! What else do I got on my plate today? Ah, yes, here's another meme. Trump not realizing that he was the one to appoint the Fed chair, Jerome Powell. Terrible Fed chair. I was surprised he was appointed. I was surprised, frankly, that Biden put him in. It's kind of sad to watch this corrupt idiot suffering from dementia on top of all of it.

5:29It is my pleasure and my honor to announce my nomination of Jerome Powell to be the next chairman of the Federal Reserve. Somebody needs to take the keys away from Grandpa before he hurts somebody. I'm guessing it's going to happen shortly after Republicans get their asses handed to them in the midterms. Then J.D. Vance will try to step in to take over so Donnie can, quote, spend some more time with his family. You know, that's what they always say when they're asked to step aside. Politicians, that is. By then, the Epstein files will hopefully get leaked. Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein?

6:04And we'll all finally know what he's been hiding from this entire time. No, he's not going to see the inside of a jail cell. But he won't be able to show his face in public anymore with any luck. All right, one more meme from my phone today. Here it is. When MAGAs are calling me a liberal for criticizing Trump. And I'm just sitting here like, I'm more conservative than you are, punk. That's true, almost in every way for me. Because one thing I know about Trump, if I know anything, is that he's not a conservative. He's just an opportunist who will do and say anything for a buck. It's a Democrat hoax.

6:37That's it. An absolute charlatan. A pedophile protector. An ignoramus with the instincts of a feral honey badger that is often mistaken by his followers for intelligence. Conservatives love to forget the fact that this clown sat next to none other than Dianne Feinstein during his first administration, saying that he would get rid of due process regarding the Second Amendment by implementing red flag gun laws. His vice president at the time, Mike Pence, just happened to be the only person in the room with the avocados to push back, even though Trump went on just to steamroll right over the top of him anyway.

7:15Yes, go ahead, Mike. Well, in the category, you spoke about it, Mr. President, gun violence restraining orders. They're called, California actually has a version of this. And I think you're meeting with governors earlier this week individually and as a group, we spoke about states taking steps, but the focus is to literally give families and give local law enforcement additional tools if an individual is reported to be a potential danger to themselves or others. Allow due process, so no one's rights are trampled, but the ability to go to court, obtain an order, and then collect not only the firearms, but any weapons in the possession of that individual.

7:57Take the firearms first and then go to court because that's another system. Because a lot of times by the time you go to court, it takes so long to go to court to get the due process procedures. I like taking the guns early, like in this crazy man's case that just took place in Florida. He had a lot of firearms. They saw everything. To go to court would have taken a long time. So you could do exactly what you're saying, but take the guns first, go through due process second. I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am more conservative when it comes to gun rights in America than Donald Trump.

8:30No, Obama didn't take your guns after all, did he? Just don't be surprised when Trump tries to do it to protect his ICE agents under the Insurrection Act. Don't think it could happen? He floated the idea just a few months ago that trans people shouldn't have guns. He would do that to anybody who doesn't worship him if he thought he could get away with it. That is not conservative. That is just stupid. Trump is stupid. in the purest sense of the word. It's important what that brain is getting during the development. Is it getting soda or is it getting milk? So milk would help your cognitive ability.

9:06Absolutely. You can tell who's been drinking. Taking cognitive tests? I've taken a lot of them. I've aced every one of them because I drink milk. It's good for you and it shows. All that is to say that this has been a look at the world through my optimist glasses. So at least Trump has taught me a lot about myself and where I actually sit in the political spectrum. Because I want to be the kind of libertarian conservative that is the antithesis of everything that Trump has allowed himself to be. And he's shown me that I do actually have some form of reverence for our institutions in our constitutional republic when I thought I had very little, if any.

9:48He's shown me through all of his embarrassing blunders and General Asshattery how truly difficult it is to be commander-in-chief without ruining people's lives and upsetting the natural balance and compromise that keeps civilization civil. So thank you, Donald Trump. Thank you for being the physical embodiment of everything I would choose not to be for the rest of my time on this planet. You are truly both a prolific grifter and a gifted teacher of the highest order, and I genuinely hope that you accomplish everything that your heart desires over the next three years. If only just to remind people of the giant mistake that we all made in letting this dog back into the hen house.

10:29Because I drink milk. That's it for today. And until we can do it again, it's Newsweek Radio. I'm Jesse Edwards. Catch you next time. Bye. And we say bye-bye. Newsweek Radio is a member of the Trust Project. In the possession of that individual. Take the firearms first and then go to court.