Uncle Sam Automated the Draft, Palantir Enters the Room

0:00Irreverent news talk, opinion, satire. It's Newsweek Radio. I'm Jesse Edwards. A major U.S. technology company ignited controversy after urging the federal government to adopt a system of universal national service, a move that critics say edges toward endorsing a military draft. Palantir shared a number of bizarre rules on social media recently reminiscent of the Ten Commandments and then some, including one that read, quote, National service should be a universal duty we should, as a society, seriously consider moving away from an all-volunteer force and only fight the next war if everyone shares in the risk and cost.

0:39Ah, yes, and doesn't that sound nice? How incredibly altruistic from our friends at Palantir. Palantir Technologies is a U.S.-based data analytics and software company, that's one way to put it, founded in 2003. You see, Planeteer builds platforms, platforms that allow governments, intelligence agencies, militaries, and private companies to analyze extremely large and complex data sets. Some advocacy groups have criticized Palantir for providing software used by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, also known as ICE. So let me get this straight. Palantir wants to use their technology to round up our young men, and presumably women, just like they were illegal immigrants by tracking them with a big money contract from the U.S.

1:27government? At least they're being upfront about their agenda this time. And here I thought the war of the future was going to be fought with robots. It very much is. But we're not there yet. We still need real humans to service the robots for at least our lifetimes, or until the robots are able to manufacture and service themselves, whichever comes first. Perhaps the greatest achievement of my life is achieving self-satisfaction. On one hand, I do not think a national draft of any kind would do well unless you turned it into a video game with a large portion of today's youth who never look up from their phones.

1:58On the other hand, a draft might be exactly what these soft kids need to snap them out of this tech-induced coma that many of them seem to be in. Generally speaking, of course, because I know there are a lot of bright, sharp young folks out there who do not fit into this stereotype, and we shouldn't dump on any single generation, or worship them for that matter, because it's just like George Carlin said about the old and young alike. Couple of winners and a whole lot of losers wherever you go. And the same should be said about any large group of people in my not-so-humble opinion. I myself am thankfully too old for any sort of draft unless they decide to move the goalposts.

2:34Cut off ages 42 and I turn 46 this year, so thank God that's never gonna happen. No, I am not the kind of person who would go to war for my country if it ordered me to. But you know what? I just might do it if they were willing to ask nicely. That's all. I know it's a pretty tall order, right? The United States military doesn't ask nicely for anything. And thankfully, I'm too old for them to demand anything either. But still, I'm just saying asking nicely can go a long way with people like me. And I know my way around an AR-15, thank you very much. Otherwise, it's a hard pass. But you know, maybe it wouldn't be the dumbest thing in the world for the military to increase that age limit.

3:11I mean, I know some dudes in their 60s who could put up one hell of a fight. I'm talking about people I wouldn't want to meet up on the wrong side of a bar fight. Still raising hell in their late 40s, 50s, and early 60s even easy. You give some of us good old boys an M16 and watch us send it to the Taliban. I'm just saying, I know war is hell, but so is suburban life for oceans of American men facing midlife crises who just want to stand up for something real once in their lifetimes and fight like warriors. Don't tell me that's not a thing that people want on some sort of primal level. We are cavemen with iPhones, and we're not adapting well.

3:48If the military really does need more recruits for these never-ending wars brought to us by the omnipotent Uniparty Deep State, then I'm guessing they might already be thinking along these lines as well. Beginning December 18th of 2026, eligible men will automatically be registered via federal databases, which means that if you can be automatically registered, you can be automatically drafted. And if we ever do have a universal national service like these defense contractors are floating, it usually means requiring all young adults to spend a period of time, often one or two years, serving their country in some structured way.

4:24They do it in South Korea, they do it in Israel, and there's other options that don't necessarily require military enlistment, but instead use participation in civil service work like infrastructure projects or environmental conservation or disaster response or public health work and education support. Yes, and that also happens to get them pretty ripe for the picking on behalf of the U.S. Military Industrial Complex for the automatic draft that they just installed, but in theory, I don't really even have the slightest problem with it. Looking back, a program like this might have kept me from getting into podcasting.

4:54I'm kidding, of course, sort of. But I think all young people could benefit from some sort of compulsory real-world work to get them ready for the workforce and to learn some real skills that they're not getting in public education learning about gender studies. Because yes, I would rather have my high school kids learning about the logistics of, I don't know, providing clean water to impoverished communities or how to build a bridge rather than being taught that all white people are secretly racist or how to identify with which one of the 72 gender identities there currently are mapped. And yes, that's a real thing.

5:27Go look it up if you don't believe me. Yes, the right has absolutely lost its collective mind under Trumpism, but that was only an equal and opposite reaction of the ineptitude coming out of the left. What the hell are we doing here, people? And where are all the grown-ups? One side wants to send our young boys into the meat grinder for wars over oil in the Middle East, while the other side wants to play the victim card so often that it starts to lose all meaning, like the boy who cried wolf again and again. Can we just figure out a way to start over somehow? I like to propose getting rid of Congress and replacing with the direct vote of a vetted people who are licensed to vote, even though it's never going to happen.

6:04I'm going to keep talking about it until I'm blue in the face because that's my calling in life. Abolish Congress. Halfway kidding, halfway serious. And look, they say that hard times create strong men and that strong men create good times and good times create weak men and weak men create hard times. And you know what? That sounds great. Lord knows we've all seen that meme at least a thousand times. But is it really true? Do hard times create strong men or destroyed ones? And do strong men really create good times or is what we mistake for strength really just anger issues? Because if weak men do create hard times that lead to strong men, then what exactly is the problem?

6:47By that logic, we would have more strong men by breeding the weak ones. And what sense does that make it makes absolutely none and with that i'm out so until we can do it again it's newsweek radio i'm jesse edwards catch you next time bye