We’re All Going to Die, Rotisserie Chickens Fly Free

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0:46But the end is near and we are all going to die no matter how you look at it. I'm not trying to be morbid or depressing either, but just look around you. Everything on this planet is in a regular and constant state of decay. from our own bodies to the houses we live in and the cars we drive and the relationships that fall apart if we don't maintain them, the gardens that immediately surrender to the weeds the moment we stop tending them. It's always on the back of our minds whether we want to realize it and admit it or not. And the older one gets, the harder the pattern becomes to ignore as the end gets closer to us all.

1:21And we do everything that we can possibly imagine to stay distracted from these harsh realities by watching our phones and shopping and having picnics and playing guitar and sleeping, going for walks, riding bikes and horses and airplanes and any other widget we can get our hands in or sit inside of to pass the time and avoid that ever-present sinking feeling in your gut that the end is near and we are all going to die. I have been obsessed with death since my earliest memories as a little kid. Not so much a fixation or morbid fascination as it was and continues to be? The thought that one moment I will likely realize my last breath as it happens, and that's what I'm rarely able to shake.

2:05What's on the other side of all this madness? That's where the real fun begins for me. I mean, that's where the imagination has no end. What's so morbid about wanting to know what happens when we die? It's the only fundamental question about life as the equal and opposite reaction to whatever the hell we're experiencing right now. I mean, what is this place? Do you ever just stop to ask yourself, what the hell is any of this to begin with? A lot of folks believe that it's lights out when you die, and that we're not going to be aware of anything because everything we think we are lives and dies within the brain itself.

2:39I'm not dead! And that we're nothing more than a computer made out of meat, hallucinating a reality that's nothing more than a chemical reaction on our brains, and that we are nothing more than primates with anxiety that will cease to exist when our biological containers expire. Other people think you go to heaven or hell. Some people think you might come back to Earth as a goat or a cow. Simulation theory is more popular today than ever. The idea is that when you die, the virtual reality helmet comes off, you remember who you really are, and realize that this entire world that we think we all know was nothing more than God's idea of immersive VR with a bunch of souls who, well, to put it quite simply, got extremely bored sitting around eternity forever worshiping at his feet all day and night.

3:28Now, whatever your own personal beliefs are in this arena, that's great. I'm sure you're proud of them, that they are very much a part of who you think you are as an individual, and that they help you sleep better at night with the reassurance that you know precisely how and why our world and universe operates the way it does. Everyone has an answer these days, except for those of us who are willing to admit that we don't know. Because despite all the science and all the data and all the peer-reviewed studies and academic chest-thumping, one idea is just as good as the next. Because we don't know anything about the who or what or when or where or why we experience consciousness in the first place.

4:06And where does it go when we die? Well, you could start by asking the people who have died and come back to tell the tale, the internet is flooded with extremely detailed accounts from credible people of what happens to your consciousness when the body dies. And the strange thing is that despite widely different religions and cultures and personal beliefs, people who report near-death experiences tend to circle around a few very eerily similar themes again and again. Feelings of overwhelming peace and interconnectedness, separation from the body and expanded awareness, encounters with presences or beings and deceased loved ones.

4:44A lot of them come back profoundly changed, more focused on relationships and meaning and forgiveness and consciousness itself. The one constant piece of this crazy puzzle that appears across every conversation. Consciousness is the veil itself. I mean, just based on what I've seen over my lifetime, it's one of the more interesting conclusions I've reached thus far. And that's why I think it's interesting enough to talk about. Difficult subject to broach around the water cooler on a Monday afternoon for sure, but regardless if you're a skeptic or a believer in the afterlife, just assume for a minute that your consciousness does exist after your body dies.

5:23Only try to imagine it without all the trappings of religion or science for that matter. Because once you can imagine yourself on the other side without science or religion, you can start to look back at your time on Earth as something largely directed by the voices and opinions and interpretations of reality itself by other mortal human beings. When it was your voice and your opinion and your interpretation of reality that was guiding you along that path the entire way. There's a reason it takes people who've had near-death experiences a few minutes to realize that they've crossed over. because consciousness is the only thing that we do take with us.

6:06And it's the only thing we have now. It is the only thing there is. It is the gift you were given. It is the veil. It's the next shiny object that you can't live without. All the good, all the bad, and all the mediocre AI slop in between that's keeping us distracted from the ultimate reality that's coming. It's unavoidable. The end is near, and we are all going to die. In other news, a growing number of Americans are learning that while liquids over 3.4 ounces remain prohibited at airport security checkpoints, fully cooked rotisserie chickens are still permitted in unlimited quantities aboard commercial aircraft.

6:51TSA confirmed this week that passengers may travel with solid foods, including rotisserie chicken, in both checked and carry-on luggage, with no official quantity restrictions currently in place.

7:07The clarification sparked confusion online after travelers pointed out that protein shakes, peanut butter, soup, shampoo, toothpaste, and other semi-liquid substances remain heavily regulated under federal aviation guidelines, while entire roasted chickens continue moving freely through the nation's airports. The TSA has not indicated whether the policy will change moving forward, though officials continue encouraging travelers to separate poultry from other personal belongings before entering the security line. Did you know that poultry is the nation's third largest agricultural crop? A$3 billion business?

7:46Yes, chickens are raised in every county of the United States, mostly for egg production. Breeders have achieved great results in boosting the egg output of the average hen. Today's hen averages 154 eggs per year, and some birds produce over 300 annually. But with this emphasis on egg production, poultry meat has been more or less a byproduct of the industry. Relatively few poultrymen took steps to develop better meat-type chickens, suitable for roasting oven or frying pan. Say, that makes me hungry. Yes, sir. Make mine chicken. Chicken of tomorrow, that is.