Marketing pitches to all 32 NFL teams

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2:10Welcome to NFL Daily, where none of us are watching The Dragon Show. It's cool if you are. We hear it rips. I'm your host, Jordan Rodrigue, filling in for Greg Rosenthal. As he's on vacation, I am joined by my friend and the leader of the Claibon Bonds, Patrick Claibon. How are you, Patrick?

2:30Patrick Claybon:I will not be charged as an accessory to anything that a group of people who have chosen for some reason to align themselves with me. I am innocent of all charges, but shout out to anybody that deals with me. The Claibon Vivants. Also joined by a longtime friend of mine, new friend of NFL Daily. He is the Athletics' senior Chicago Bears reporter and host of the Breaking In Sports Media podcast, my buddy Kevin Fishbane. Welcome, Kevin. Thank you so much for having me. I am a listener to this show. I'm an admirer of the two of you. So it's an honor to be here. Are you a Clay Bon Bon? Stop. I mean, I was trying to think of what Jordan's Hive would be called.

3:11Nope, we are not doing that.

3:12Patrick Claybon:We should absolutely do that. We're not doing that. Oh, man. The possibilities are flowing through my head right now. Yeah, don't. We're not going to use this at all. A whole ad campaign? No, Kev's on it. Kevin, I have to ask, are you at all nervous about your first appearance on NFL Daily? And follow-up, are you disappointed it's with me and not the main host, Greg Rosenthal? Yes, yes. All yes. I am nervous. When I got the email, I was looking for Greg in the CC. Didn't see him there. I thought he would zoom in from vacation. I'm a little offended, but, you know, you just got to we got to just adapt and roll with the punches.

3:52Yeah, you recently did get the Rosenthal follow on social media. So I know that was a big a big day for you. I'm just sort of blowing up our group chat here on the spot. So we are I feel like, Kevin, you're a perfect addition to this. I know you've been on paternity leave. Congratulations again. And we're actually at the peak of the quiet period of the NFL offseason just on the other side of this. It's all chaos and darkness and excitement and, you know, whatever happens. But we're starting to wonder, what are these teams actually going to be about this year? So if you will, imagine with me, folks.

4:35Patrick, Kevin, and myself are the three mid-level creatives at a very mediocre marketing firm desperate to get a couple of ideas to stick for some NFL teams. Whether it's a slogan or a catchphrase, an initiative, or a general theme. And we really, really need this, guys. Jobs are on the line here. Our last campaign was the catchphrase, why not us? And after that own goal, that one really flipped around on us. So, Patrick, no pressure. Lots of pressure. Let's go ahead and start with your pitch to the Buffalo Bills. Okay.

5:13Patrick Claybon:I am, for all of mine, I am so excited to talk to this coalition of billionaires representing every different team. And I thought, what more could groups of billionaires love than the thing that they are investing in the most and choosing our society to lean into? and that's plagiarism at the moment. Whoa. So I've decided to reach back and look at some famous ad campaigns and tie them to your team, Buffalo Bills. And almost 30 years ago, NBC had a problem. They had a mega lineup of must-see content that was literally branded as such. Will & Grace, Third Rock, News Radio, Mad About You. And yes, finally vanquished the show.

5:50Patrick Claybon:Having finally vanquished the show that provided its concept and basis, living single, Friends was at its peak. but they needed to promote a summer lineup. These are shows that almost everyone had seen. For years, it's before TiVo, VCR Plus wasn't widely accepted, so if you missed it, it was gone. So the summer return promotion proudly exclaimed, if you haven't seen it, it's new to you. That's the 2027 Buffalo Bills. Of course, there's a lot of carryover. Of course, the guy calling the plays is calling all the shots now, but that's our sell to the people. You've seen the Bills, but you haven't seen these bills.

6:26Patrick Claybon:A redemption arc for Keon Colbin. Bradley Chubb is here. CJ GJ does nothing but pick winners, and that's what we're doing here. They haven't seen it. It's new to them. I mean, coming out of the gate strong for the Buffalo Bills. On the other hand, I am speaking to the Miami Dolphins today, and I have a slogan idea. Trust us, bro. Kevin, how about the New England Patriots? You guys remember the movie Wizard of Oz, right? Absolutely. So my Patriots slogan, and I'm pitching New England, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Because as Jordan mentioned, I've been on paternity leave for most of the off season.

7:08So I had to catch up a lot on what's going on in New England. So I'm reading about Drake made a shoulder. I'm reading about a second round pick who's unsigned. I'm reading about the Super Bowl runner up curse that we're all aware of. So when I'm thinking about all those things, just like, no, don't worry about the things behind the current. Focus on all the good. This is a Patriots team that went to the Super Bowl. We've got this, guys. Ignore all those things. Don't worry about it. We're good. I'm talking to the New York Jets. Always a risky move. Yeah. Embracing myself to do so, I sort of embraced a little bit of the darkness.

7:46But I think I can convince some people in the building here on this potential slogan or catchphrase or even like just ethos to exist with for the New York Jets. Babe, please stay with me. If I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't have to hurt you like this. Oh, no. Okay, Patrick, Baltimore Ravens.

8:08Patrick Claybon:The Jets is an abuser. All right. Oh, it's so great to see all of you in Owings Mills today. I am excited to be here. Imagine this. You're new, practically a startup, and people are familiar with your product and what it does, but you haven't been able to communicate the essence of what it just is yet. So you gather the flock to discuss and come up with the fact that it energizes the body and mind. That doesn't resonate with you guys? Well, that makes sense because that was the initial brand pitch idea behind Red Bull before they decided that it gives you wings. And what do wings do? They liberate you from the treasury of the old times.

8:43Patrick Claybon:Greg Roman is in East Rutherford, by the way. You remind people of the change that was actually provided by a generational talent at a key position, the 2027 Baltimore Ravens. It gives you wings because wings not only come with the possibility of flight, they come with the hope of it, the audacity to challenge gravity itself. You don't do that with the weight of history. You do that by uplifting what remains with something new. I'm in. Listen, I'm all in. I'm ready to run through a wall. Good for the Ravens, the PR champions of the 2026. It all went great. Offseason so far. Don't worry about anything else.

9:18Let's go on to the Cincinnati Bengals with Kevin. How many marketing executives have walked into the Cincinnati Bengals facility and been handed a bowl of Skyline chili and kind of paused? And they kind of look at him and go, what are we going to do with this? Well, you know what? Here's your slogan, guys. Let's make Skyline chili sexy again. because every year there's that one team that is the sexy pick to take over the league, go from last place to first place, worst to first. Everyone's jumping on the Bengals hype train. And when the Bengals are good, people are talking about Skyline. People are excited about Skyline.

9:56So let's take some pressure off the players and coaches and let's put it on the chili and feel good about this and these expectations that are back for Joey B and the Bengals. Yeah. De-center the roster, de-center the injuries, de-center the quarterback malcontent nature by the end of the season. Instead, place everything, the burden of an entire city, like some shredded cheese on top of the chili.

10:24Patrick Claybon:Yeah. You've already acquired a player who literally goes by sexy, right? And you have him and Joe and Jamar in a campaign where there's chili dribbling. I mean, come on. It sells itself. I'm all about it. The Cleveland Browns, you know. Who? Listen, I know I've been charged with a tall task here, but I think I've got something that all of you and you're still here, huh? And you and you're still here. And wow. Oh, you're still here, too. Oh, my gosh. Anyway, my slogan idea is let's get ready for 2027. Maybe 2028. Pittsburgh Steelers, Patrick. Oh, the Pittsburgh Steelers. You know, guys, ending things.

11:10Patrick Claybon:I'm so glad. This is great. It's great to be here. There's three rivers out there. This is incredible. Ending things is never easy, but ending an entire concept can sometimes feel impossible. That's the task that we face here. Three coaches total since 1969. Now it's four. There probably won't be 19 years of Mike McCarthy, but here's one thing. A similar circumstance was faced by Volkswagen in 2019 when they initially decided to conclude the run of the beetle, a platform that had seen untold success since it was initially produced in December of 1945. Side note, we will not discuss the actions of Volkswagen prior to that on this edition of the podcast.

11:44Patrick Claybon:That's coming on another podcast. Another edition of this will eventually come. And how did Volkswagen do that? By announcing the last mile. That's what this is. That's what I think of driving that last mile away from that mountain over those rivers and looking at this beautiful city. And that's what we have here. to sell to people the last mile of this version of the Steelers. Was it difficult for you to pitch both the Ravens and the Steelers with similar enthusiasm? No, because I feel like Steelers fans are probably used to a particular attitude, but they're probably used to the actions of their football team as well.

12:23You know, it's like hypothermia. You just slowly go numb, right? And then you're gone. All right. So I've got the Houston Texans. It's not a lot of work for me to do here, folks. I just think we got to keep it really, really simple. Slogan for 2026, face meet fist. Kevin, you got the Colts. I like the idea of a billboard. Okay. And in blue Colts writing, the blue Colts font at the top, it says, this time it'll work. With a big picture of Daniel Jones with a very forced smile and he's surrounded by bubble wrap. So you get a local brand sponsor too? Some Indianapolis manufacturer of bubble wrap?

13:12Patrick Claybon:I'm sure there's somebody close. Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I like it. I think that is a winner. Jacksonville Jaguars, Patrick. I'm so glad to be back here in Duval to talk to all of you. You know, sometimes things work. You assemble what's available and it looks great. You make a midseason deal for Jacoby Myers, efficiency explodes, and you go head-to-head with a perennial AFC power, but only a debilitating circumstance at corner that you tried to address in the draft, but injuries ruined that, doomed the outcomes. So now we have to make a financial decision that will fundamentally change our product.

13:44Patrick Claybon:That's having the courage to change. Devin Lloyd and Travis Etienne were great pieces on both sides of the ball, in the same way the 3.5mm headphone jack was a great piece on the iPhone, But marketing was put in a position where they needed to justify a decision to not only sell lightning splitter adapters, but AirPods in perpetuity as well. We need people in the ecosystem. That's the courage to change. That's what Apple said. And that's what we're going to sell to the people here in Jacksonville. Sometimes I just sit and stare at Patrick as he's talking because the things that your brain comes up with.

14:21And as far as I'm aware, no gummy involved.

14:24Patrick Claybon:you know like it's just it's incredible this is just doing insiders five days a week at this point your boy yearns for creativity creative outlet I love it uh speaking of some type of outlet the Tennessee Titans that's you Kevin the 2026 Tennessee Titans how can it be worse

14:49you know what hard to argue really hard to argue uh that takes us to the broncos that's you again

14:55Patrick Claybon:patrick okay um a loss in a heartbreaking season uh where a quarterback was literally broken and one of the more pyrrhic victories that we've seen in the last 20 years of the nfl playoffs but bo is back the team didn't subtract and they just waited for his return they've improved they've not just stopped there that they've added with the ultimate confidence in a quarterback. And I am reminded gentlemen and lady of a brand that was in a funk. Just the one there's, there's always one and that's Kentucky fried chicken in 2010. When they asked us to unthink the conventional nature of a sandwich and trust in the double down by telling its customers, we don't have room for the bun.

15:36Patrick Claybon:And that's what we tell Denver Broncos fans, Two pieces of fried chicken, bacon, and a sauce. We're doubling down on the talents and abilities of Bo Nix. We've added Jalen Waddle. We don't have room for a bun. This is epic. I think that will really resonate with them. They've kept a lot of things the same over the last couple of off seasons. So you double down. Double down. You add on. Add on. More chicken. I've got the Kansas City Chiefs. Actually, we could probably skip these guys. They're doing okay as a brand these days. Kevin, you got the Raiders. That counts as doubt and disrespect, by the way.

16:18Chip watch.

16:19Patrick Claybon:They're going to try. Finally, the Raiders have an easy marketing pitch. You have the most likable quarterback who has never taken an NFL snap. And it's just a picture of smiling Mendoza all over Vegas. and says, who does not love our quarterback? And just look over here as we fix all the rest of this. And then Tom Brady seethes in the corner because he's not the one on the billboards. I can see it coming right now. A great smile. Yeah. I've got the Los Angeles Chargers. I have a merch idea, ladies and gentlemen, in the boardroom here. What if we manufactured a drawstring Jim Harbaugh doll and a drawstring Mike McDaniel doll.

17:09And we put them for sale in the team shop. And every time you pull the string, they say something funny. And also it's really weird that the Harbaugh dolls eyes follow you everywhere.

17:23Patrick Claybon:They never stop. Cowboys, Patrick. The 2027 Dallas Cowboys. Joneses, I am so glad to be in your presence. It's an honor. I want to look back at all the history, but just a part of it, jumps out to me in seasons where Dak Prescott was a leading passer for the Dallas Cowboys. Here's the final offensive ranking in terms of scoring 14th, 22nd, 6th, 5th, 5th, 4st, 4st, 4th, 1st, 1st. The defensive rankings, I'm not going to talk to you about because they weren't necessarily that great. That's why I would like to adopt the ad campaign that was utilized by Wells Fargo in 2018, earning back your trust.

18:05Patrick Claybon:Yes. While the company was opening accounts on behalf of customers that they never asked for, they needed to come back and have a statement that they were earning back the trust. And after trading away your best defensive player, that trust was eroded, but not now. The 2027 Dallas Cowboys are earning back your trust. i love that one uh yeah when you can when you can align yourself with uh often questionable financial giant corporations uh mega corporations in fact you simply must do it um kevin you've got the new york giants my new york giant slogan does have some fine print so listen carefully because there is a parenthetical here.

18:50Who's got it better than Jackson Dart? Don't answer that. Possibilities.

18:59See, Patrick, I told you he would bail.

19:01Patrick Claybon:Yeah, no. Any and all possible Greg Roman shade is always appreciated. Okay, I've got the Philadelphia Eagles now. Tough building to walk into, you know. There are still people tailgating in the parking lot. And, you know, it's a rule that you do not wear the opposing team's jerseys or colors when you walk in. But hear me out. Speaking of jerseys, guys, a jersey buyback program wherein fans can turn in their old A.J. Brown jerseys. And in addition to proper financial compensation equal to the cost of the jersey, they will receive a case of youngling and a pack of batteries. What do we think? Yeah.

19:43Patrick Claybon:Yeah, the batteries, of course, speak to a community in a moment. It really brings people together. Yeah, it's united one way or the other. Yes. Washington Commanders. Ah, yes, the Washington Commanders. Hey, guys. I'm glad the other guy isn't here anymore and I could talk to you. He probably wouldn't want to be in here with me. But I think about a brand that wants to return to some success. And there was so much recent success and that success is linked to McDonald's and the annual return of the McRib. Most recently utilizing the slogan, it can only mean one thing. Well, now Jaden's back. Hope is back.

20:26Patrick Claybon:Dan Quinn has fired almost everybody. There is change. And that change can only mean one thing. The commanders. I love this. one thing about uh patrick's marketing initiatives too that i think are really precious to the listener is they're often contained some important subtext and it's so go back and listen a couple of times i think similar to his famous uh one-man play featuring the jones family and cowboys earlier this season uh really there's some easter eggs in there easter eggs everywhere. Um, and Kevin, is it still the Chicago bears or have they moved yet? Or what's the, what's the situation here?