An Interview with a Bum

0:00Good energy in. Good energy out.

0:08Storm, zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine and immunity support. Storm, energy for life. No jumper. Coolest podcast in the world. How do you want to be referred to on this episode? Oh, shit. Well, it depends how you think they'll know me. They'll respond to me. I go by IG Bum. I do like IG Bum. IG Bum? Yeah. Yeah. You know, because sometimes saying Bum makes people feel like. Yeah. You know, but if you say IG Bum. But do you resent Bum? Is Bum problematic? They're like unhoused now. Yeah, there's a lot of different terms right now, but I answer the Bum. yeah i mean all right so you guys pc everything now i know what is that latinx hey michael you're latinx sorry uh you didn't even know um but okay so should we go from the beginning like do you do you remember your childhood oh shit what about that that's uh yeah my childhood was uh Yeah, that's your prototypical.

1:19I was born in another country. What country? Panama. Panama, okay. What country, man? It's like Africa, but we speak Spanish. I always knew a dude from Panama who would adamantly defend not being black. He'd say, I'm Panamanian. But I mean, he looked 100 % black. And it was always kind of weird where I was like, I'll tell you. That happens when you first get here and they're like, yeah, no, Panama. But after you get hammered down with black, you're just like, all right, let it go. You're just going to get used to it, yeah. And let it go. I got you. Shout out, Elsa. But, okay, so what age did you leave Panama?

2:0012 years old. 13, yeah. Why'd you leave? Mother came to America. Did the old, I'm going to make it. So I stayed with my grandmother back for like seven, eight years. Okay. Yeah, so. They were going to make it as just in America doing anything? No specific plans? No, no. My mother snuck in the country. Oh, really? Yeah. From over the border down south? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? She was the first black Mexican to, well, she's not Mexican, but she escaped like a Mexican. Really? Wow, that's sick. She came in. And you guys posted up in what city and state? Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn, Brooklyn. How did you end up making your way all the way out there?

2:43Pretty far. sorry, could have posted up in Texas. Oh, no, but she just kept, because my grandmother was the first one to come here. Oh, okay. And then, like. Oh, that's where they met up. Yeah. So you, what was it like being, like, you know, a kid who's 12, 13 years old, you're freshly in Brooklyn from fucking Panama. You're in, like, the biggest city in the world. It must have been crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, yeah, it was crazy. You know, didn't know the language. Just having to, yeah, dealing with winter, you know, just. right yeah it's cold as shit yeah that was smoke coming out of my mouth still was mind-blowing because you know never experienced it and then snow like whoa were you were you like the weird thorn kid when you first showed up like you didn't know how to dress you didn't know how to act everybody looking at you like this guy's weird as fuck tripping me in class really yeah yeah yeah yeah i got my few few bullies here and there you'd I think that like New York is so diverse that it would be very accepting, but definitely that was my experience.

3:45Cause I was hanging out with all these younger dudes riding BMX, uh, throughout my twenties and stuff. And I would just get that vibe that like, if you were from another country fresh over here, that you were going to get ridiculed pretty hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you know, New York has like all these races and you know, like you try to fit in, you know, I was a, I was the point at one point I was Dominican. then Puerto Rican and then Jamaican and what like everybody thought you were those races uh yeah yeah because you just everybody's mixed up there yeah like you go to one bodega before you know you're coming out Dominican you get one you know so it's just and it's like it's like for years you know you just you know chameleon I guess you're like oh so you graduated um high school I did And what did you do after that?

4:38I joined the military, believe it or not. Really? Well, I had kids. A few kids. You already had kids? Yeah, right at high school. My graduation. So despite being fresh off the boat, you was clapping cheeks even in high school? I mean, you know, it was, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, enough to have one or more kids. Your boys can swim. One. One kid. One kid. One kid. I love you, Jonathan. Yeah. Sure. yeah who's the lucky woman uh it was a puerto rican chick uh elizabeth you still talk to her yeah it's not great it's not great it's not great but we talk okay we're civil how old is the son now uh oh he's in his 30s he's oh man that's crazy he's an old guy fully grown man yeah yeah yeah yeah he has kids so oh my god that's outrageous time flies holy shit um okay so but you had to joined the military because you wanted to provide for the family and stuff but were you with the woman for a sustained period of time or not really i was i was i was i was hugging in nine years nine years you know so even while you're in the military you're you're still yeah yeah getting letters from her she was the official you know um yeah because i i thought i had a plan like yeah the family uh get back and gi bill and the whole shebang and yeah how come you didn't have another kid i did with her with her did you just realize like this is a bad idea i gotta stop reproducing i gotta pull out no i messed up again one one more time with her with her yeah oh yeah no one okay yeah yeah yeah so i hung in here for two kids wow and then then we realized like we're not too good at this dad stuff oh really you didn't think you're a good dad yeah no well you go join in the military i mean you're kind of away from the family for a huge amount like how many years were you in the military uh not long at all oh really yeah it wasn't long i i had to get out of there you went a wall no no no no no no i just tried to like uh commit suicide and to get out wait that was your big plan you didn't want to kill yourself you wanted to just get out so you figured i'm gonna pretend or you really did it yeah yeah yeah no no no i drank like seven advils just to kind of like, all right, guys, I'm serious.

6:57I want to leave here. Seven Advils will do it? I feel like you would need to do way, like, if you're going to do Advil. I mean, I didn't know. You're talking about a 19-year-old kid that is, I just want to go back to Brooklyn. I feel like there's been days where I took seven Advils just because I had a headache. Or at least, like, maybe throughout the day, like, actually. Okay. So you just want to go back to Brooklyn at that point? Yeah, yeah, back in the 90s. I thought it was more lethal than that. What did you want to do in Brooklyn in the 90s? Were you, like, into hip-hop, hustling? What was drawing you back?

7:30Yeah, the life. The life of, like, just, you know, where the girls at, you know, just, yeah, party hardy. New York was intoxicating. It was addictive. Yeah, yeah, compared to, like, the life that I was leading. And then in the military, I was a cook. I didn't want to be a cook. So that was, like, a major, like, oh, that's what you guys talked me into? Oh, a cook. yeah yeah i didn't want to be a cook it was better than being a sniper right well yeah yeah i mean that's exciting in its own way yeah yeah yeah now you know you know looking at it now i wish i would have yeah i would have won the sniper route so you didn't kill anybody in the military no no vlad's always interviewing some dude who's got like 100 plus kills and he seems super fried yeah just like that i was in the kitchen when they were killing yeah yeah so that's kind of tight uh yeah yeah i fed him i fed him and they you know they shot him i mean you'd probably be a way different dude right now if you had 100 bodies yeah i think so like i would like to think that i'm the kind of person who could catch 100 bodies in the military and just be chilling yeah but historically it seems like people get pretty fucked up from that no no no no i i currently live in a military uh shelter like you know they're getting me a place where, you know.

8:47Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I get to see like the effects of like you know, these dudes going through it in wars and you know. I just can't, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know gangbangers are kind of like that. Yeah, yeah. You know who Crip Mac is? He gives you PTSD. Yeah. Crip Mac? No. West Coast? Yeah, he's like schizophrenic. He's got a little bit of that. but i think it's all natural oh okay wow yeah i know it's a it's a real thing the ptsd that some of these guys have like yeah it was a rough fourth of july because it's like you know firecrackers and things like that like oh that freaks you out that though not me in particular like like a group you have a few that are sweating at night and my dogs are like that too yeah fireworks freak them out yeah I thought they had PTSD no bodies I know but maybe you know we don't really we didn't scream them for that so okay you were in the military for what a year or two and then back to Brooklyn and then back to Brooklyn to you know reset life and go back to jobs no interest in going back to Panama no no no no I was committed to like the American life to partying and it's a good life yeah a lot of people want to get out of here but yeah whenever we start kicking people out they get pretty mad they do they do what's that all um yeah love it or leave it baby yeah but you are a legal immigrant so you know I mean they worry about oh yeah yeah I don't know I you know I could drink with ice you know I have have a drink you know you'd have a drink with the think of the mass song yeah yeah it's tough to have a drink yeah yeah i mean yeah yeah we're we're good were you ever involved in crime when you were living in new york were you ever getting into any shady business i mean i mean the only the only flaw i have on my record was like yeah saying when i had those kids and it was like it was a period where i had no job and it was like you know that guy standing in the stoop just like how am I going to feed these kids now?

11:02And then, yeah, just not knowing about the crime pretty much. I just tied along with this guy. Like, hey, want to make some money with me? Doing what? Ah, the old what? Yeah, pretty much just stealing, just going around stores. Oh, shoplifting. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Batteries and, you know. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know he had a drug problem. You know, I didn't have a drug problem, so it just became anything he'd get his hands on. It was like, whoa. Okay, got it. That was like when my criminal life started. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Do you, okay, but you never joined a gang? No, no, no.

11:43That wasn't really that much of a thing in New York at the time. It was really around me. It was all around you. The Latin Kings were like Bushwick, where I was raised, was heavy influence, you know. We have a lot of different gangs, like the Decepticons, you know. Yeah. Voltron. Back in the days when I was that age where I was like, oh. That's crazy that gangbanging used to be so lighthearted that you could name your hood after, like, a transformer. Because when they come together they're... Yeah. But what is that? Not so much. Not so much. You'd never be taking that serious, but back in the day you feared to hear someone was a Volt from Voltron.

12:22Okay, so you're just kind of living in New York at this time? What are you what are you doing what are you aspiring for uh at this time just steady job to feed the kids man like you know i'm family oriented you know so i always wanted to like oh yeah i'll get it then you know got a job with the cable company and that was kind of like the last hang on to like yeah the nine to five here we go then it was just started doing comedy and then oh okay so when when did the comedy thing start to kick in? The comedy in 2002? It was right, yeah, like right after 9-11, I think. Okay. Right after 9-11. Where were you during 9-11?

13:03I had the cable job. Okay. I had the cable job. Just working? Yeah, just working. And you just hear an explosion? Or you just start hearing about it from people? Oh, when 9-11 happened, I was actually one of the drivers. So I was on way to picking up equipment, and I got stuck on the bridge. Going into the city or out? Coming back. I was like running. I was rushing to try to get back to the Bronx, and I got stuck on the bridge. Because of all the traffic just got fucked? Yeah, everything just stopped. The city just stopped on its track. It's crazy that we had like Y2K and then 9-11 back to back.

13:45Ain't that something? yeah i remember y2k when everything was supposed to end yeah yeah and then right after that because y2k was a dud nothing happened nothing happened no and then you have 9-11 like a year later yeah and that's actually fucked yeah y2k hurt me because you know when you believe in it you spend your money like yeah fuck i'm not gonna take this with me let's spend yeah because i was the other gambler at the time and oh you were yeah yeah how are you gambling dice uh little dice heavily heavily poker underground games and yeah yeah hood shit you know nice i'm sure we got hustle but you know yeah who hasn't yeah well that was the poker boom yeah early 2000s going crazy oh yeah oh yeah anybody with a house and uh you know drinks and a poker table yeah there's a lot of money to be made at that time um okay so you get into comedy how how did I get into comedy a cousin of mine put me to do it I never knew because I barely was mastering the English language so it was like what do what in front of people but I was always a clown so during this wedding for my cousin I was filming it I guess I was high out of my mind on what weed yeah smoking weed right yeah it was we and um and everything that i was saying was just hilarious to him to the point that you know he was like you got to do comedy and took me to a show and i've been hooked ever since so you get to work writing jokes and working on a routine at that time uh at that time it was just more natural it was just kind of character it's just like hey I'm the porn star guy.

15:34I will be on stage with a thong. It was very, yeah, it was very, this guy doesn't know what he's doing, very shocking, but it was like kind of the peak of like. It was that era? That was an era where you could just kind of go on stage and just play a character and just say a bunch of crazy stuff? I mean, I think so. There were a lot of characters that I'd be aware. Right. they compared me to Andy Kaufman it was weird Panama's answer to that now people are listening anyone who's ever listened to Joe Rogan has heard extremely in-depth explanations of what comedy is like you're on the road and you spend years working on this set and you film a special or you put together a routine and they make it sound very serious and that's kind of different than just getting on stage and just saying hey play a character do a bunch of crazy shit but i mean when you go back you think about like ace ventura you think about billy madison you think about all these movies it's like really these movies would like barely have made a blip on our radar if it wasn't for just having a really really strong lead who played an outrageous character when you go back and you look at ace ventura it's like what is this like like why did we all believe that this guy was a real yeah and he's just making all these crazy voices and stuff like why do we go for this but he was just really good yeah he pulled it off that's that's that's the day with again you pull it off and people want it keep doing it you know uh and that's that's what it was for me it was just like the response was amazing at the time it was like i will do something different every time out so i didn't have a set and then you know came that time when i oh you need a set in this and i had to work on words and definitely so so you're kind of just freestyling it for a while and then you started working i was off the gate my first seven shows you know headliners be careful you know because i was i was yeah i was really you know uh-huh didn't know what i was doing it was just commitment but did you fall into that that you know lifestyle of like really sitting down and writing jokes every day i had to yeah one day one day i had to like a uh i was in my underwear with a dildo in my pants and boots on not in your ass no no no i just in my in my pants and it was like look like you had a big old dick yeah got it yeah and it it wasn't funny just having the you were getting up on stage with the dildo in your pants yeah yeah like the street was over yeah like where do you take that at a certain point you can only do so many crazy stuff yeah yeah so i was just literally on the stage like what do we do now yeah and i had to like you know create a set for okay put the dildo away and um and so you're just grinding away doing this because this is about 23 years ago yes and how long do you do that and at what point does this get disrupted like uh it was seven shows in so i think it was uh yeah it was my first year in it was my first year in yeah i i a year a year i figured it out okay yeah like okay you can't do that okay i got it but so then you're just all throughout the early 2000s you're just like doing this comedy thing yes yes uh committed to the porno star uh yeah committed to like a a he battle character that i used to go on stage and so you never actually done porn uh no no no no no it was just i do porn really which like to me is no big deal but i realized to a lot of people that would probably be pretty interesting yeah yeah wow so what would you what would you do as the the porn guy maybe i can tell you what it's really like were you a thinner man at this time i wasn't there well i still always had my little boobies but you know i've always had a funny body okay because at porn it's kind of the depressing part about being a guy in the porn game you kind of got to be in shape yeah i'm kind of like on the far end of like not being in shape for porn like i really need to lose 20 30 pounds probably okay so i have no chance in the real world of porn not really a market for like fat male porn stars yeah all right because like it's all about having a big dick and being fat as i'm sure you know you're kind of making your dick look smaller by getting fat all right can we cut for a second is it yeah like the biggest male porn star in the world if he gained 100 pounds like i feel like it's over yeah i mean or at the very least you're gonna look like a fucking idiot out there you know yeah yeah i guess okay yeah sorry i know i know a porn dude who started wearing a shirt during his scenes like a 12 jeremy did that did he really yeah at the end of his i didn't even know that yeah he was just all penis and shirt and i never well that's yeah that was a different time but i i because like i know a female porn star who was making fun of this guy for the fact that he started shooting scenes with his shirt on, but then he got on Ozempic, and now he's skinny.

21:03So that's over. Wow. There's hope. There is hope, for sure. I mean, he could have just died at the regular, but, you know. Actually, that's kind of impressive, because this guy shoots, like, every day. He does, like, a porn every day. How old is he? Probably 38, 36, 37, something like that, maybe, if I had to guess. impressive yeah that's good but um so okay you're that was just one of your main characters yeah yeah yeah what i would do i would just kind of like hump the floor and just do the snake and you know like yeah yeah yeah it wasn't very thought out you know i didn't have any friends in comedy it was just kind of hey guys this is funny right right i'm doing the snake with a thong yeah so throughout this whole time of you doing this comedy pursuit did you have any like high points any like moments that seemed like you were really gaining traction or that things were gonna blow up um in comedy not so much i've i've never turned the corner of like doing specials and being past that clubs regularly i've always had to like work for like i work for a new york the comedy club, the Broadway.

22:18So you got to sell tickets? I sold tickets, you know, took care of the trash, T-tails, you know, bar back. Right. You know, just the things you do today at stage time. You ever get frustrated and almost quit?

22:38Not quit, but just kind of like, all right, what else are we going to do, huh? Yeah. You know, because, yeah, there was a time where, like, Like one of the owners, you know, Martin, Mr. Martin, Al Martin, you know, he offered me to become a manager and all of that. Maybe I guess this will be the state side, manager state side. Yeah. But I always still wanted to be that guy. Like, no, I could be a name somewhere. And as long as I keep doing it, I'll be that headliner guy. And, you know, I hung on to it. Like, I don't know if it's too long, but I still hung to it. Definitely. You're working at the cable company this whole time?

23:20That was, like, kind of the last job that I had, the last, like, real job. Everything else has been the hustles just to keep comedy alive. Excuse me. Got it. Just to keep comedy alive. So when do you start? When was the first time that you ever played a bump? Oh, that was, well, being that I'm a late bloomer in comedy, when my comedy friends would always do, like, when they started doing video, They're like, you play the bum. Yeah. You play the bum. My name is Estema. So they're like, that's the bum. You be that's the bum. Yeah. Yeah. So that's where, like, the roots of just hearing bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

24:01And then it just. What year is this? My first bum was, well, like, I think in 2013. Okay. 2014 with Alex Carabano. as a comedian. And then it took full bloom. The bum, bum, bum came out during the pandemic when we had the lockdown. And then, like, it was just, I was in, yeah, just shooting stuff in the basement for a year. And then when I came out, it was just. When you were, when social media really started to blow up, did you kind of realize that this was going to be a big deal right away? No. Took a while? Huh? It took a little while? Well, for me, it went really quickly. Because, I mean, it was just kind of like, oh, man, new people, and they love me.

24:52And, you know, it was like, yo, jump the train, shit on this bucket. And it was just like coming off of, like, being alone for a year in a basement. It was like, yeah, whatever, friends. Whatever. Whatever you guys want me to do. Because I was always the older guy, so I was like sugar daddy. I was, you know. And then when the struggle became real, then the bump. I mean, I think part of the funny thing about you being able to play the bum character so effectively is just the fact that in the black community. Taking care of your hair is very important. And so you see a black guy and he's got a lot of grays.

25:35Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't give a shit about the fact that his hairline is pushed back to the people. it's very easy to believe that this is an actual bum because it's just not like like okay remember when like uh when covid hit and all of a sudden we see diddy right and he's like unkept he doesn't have his beard dyed he's got all the gray and it's like we're all looking at him like yo he looks like a crack like what is that like what the fuck is that but it's just a guy who didn't get a haircut and his beard died but i mean that that's like one thing that i always notice because myself I get my haircut like once a month.

26:08And even that feels like a lot. Yeah. And they look at you funny like, God, is he... Yeah, like right now I'm kind of woof. You know, I'm kind of not looking that good. But like, you know, in the black community, it's like, you got to get a haircut like every week or they're going to clown your ass. And I think that's where it started. The bump started from because haircuts in New York City just kept... You know, like, I don't fucking need a haircut. I see people talk about how much they pay for a haircut sometimes and it's nuts. especially like if they'll come to you oh yeah yeah yeah easily like you can go to a shop now in new york is uh yeah if you don't have a hundred bucks just yeah come back next week you know i feel like when i lived in new york it was 20 bucks maybe yeah that's 20 years ago that's a tip now yeah no literally yeah that's like that's crazy yeah and that is always something i felt is like that that shit holds people back from blossoming as you know financially independent people like if you're if you're spending 400 bucks a month on haircuts i mean what are we talking about this is just that's like you know a big chunk of your rent that's like you know that's food for that's how people are on food staff that they're welfare they gotta like get the haircut money yeah but that's why i like there was this rapper tjx6 that came out at one point and he had like his whole thing was he didn't get a haircut and he would go like months without getting a haircut wow and it was like kind of jarring you'd look at him and just be like you don't seem like a rapper and then you'd be like all right it's because you don't have a haircut and that's just part of it yeah but um have you always just like the only one you're not no not at all have you always just embraced your baldness i i did i did i yeah i've never been very yeah like dressy typey kind of guy.

27:58I let myself go easily because, you know, once I, like, I was, like, had kids that were like, fuck, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't care so much to, like, oh, let me get another woman so I could, you know, not grow up and have another child. And, yeah, you know. Do you think you're done dating? No, not dating. Not dating. No, no. But, you know. You're still interested in women? Very much so. Just not enough to... I mean, come on. Yeah, you're out there. But not enough to get a haircut, which is part of getting a woman for a lot of people. And that's not that. It's fucked up, yeah. This is like therapy here.

28:36I'm just trying to figure you out. Yeah, yeah. You want that thing, but then you want to keep this thing as like. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. You wish that you could just be as bummy as possible and the girls would love you for it, but it feels like that's just not usually how it works. Yeah, they use me and I know it. Okay. But, you know, use me right. Was there a moment throughout these, you know, COVID era where you're doing skits and stuff? Was there any of them that just, like, really broke out and just, like, changed the game? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was one where the aforementioned shitting in the bucket.

29:12Yes, that was a huge one. Remind me of exactly how it went. My little two was pretty huge. Wait, what? My turn was pretty huge. Oh, but you didn't really shit in the bucket, right? I mean, you know. Oh my God. Wait, so remind... I have to do anything for my new friends. We can insert a chunk of it on here. Probably going to have to definitely blur the actual shitting in the bucket. What's this guy doing bad? What's this guy doing? What he doing? Hey! Hey, he's shitting in the bucket! He's shitting in your bucket, man! Mom! Call the police! Call the cops! Hey, break it up, air coach! Don't do it again.

29:57Mom! He's shitting in the fucking mom! Yeah, it comes right... Michael Rappaport did the voiceover? Was he actually there? No, he just took it and quadrupled the viral. Was there any degree of you being a nerd? Was there any sign that this was going to be a big one? uh because i for sure saw this and thought it was real and it took me a while to be like wait a minute maybe that's not real donnie i'm gonna i'm gonna send it to you um uh or was that just another day at work and you just happened to hit gold i just happened to hit gold because it was like new yeah that was like the first like oh whoa because like right off the bat i was getting world star like oh shit they love me as the sugar daddy of these young women and but then the other guys are like you know what else you should do you know and you know once you join a crew it's just like kind of everyone is just kind of like do this do this do this jump on us out you know you know wait you joined a crew formally or just sort of people that you just happen to be friends with yeah yeah because i was like they were like the new influence i was with they had so many followers i was like just yeah i was just the comedian yeah yeah so like the combination went great and uh shit in the bucket is the first one that i woo like we know who you are yeah but it's got to be kind of weird because it's like on one hand you're getting significantly more exposure and more fame yeah but then on the other hand you're getting fame for pretending to be homeless and shitting in a bucket yeah which has got to be kind of weird because like probably a lot of people can't really tell the difference between like if i was your neighbor yeah and i saw that i might think like oh this motherfucker really be doing crack and getting on the train and shitting in a bucket you know not everybody's gonna like figure it out and ask and you probably don't get girls like if you if you go viral for like being funny you probably get girls for that if you go viral for shitting in a bucket probably like not really no no no no there was there was definitely no sex appeal to it it was just straight up it just shocked the world and just uh yeah it went everywhere and uh yeah and at that time with the during the pandemic with everything just everybody kind of lost their mind a little bit it was it was it was very real to people the people that were there and yeah because i didn't know the people out behind me or anything i was just like all right the train is coming let's go i think i remember a lot of people like conservative accounts using that clip as proof of like look how fucked up new york is yeah and look how fucked up black people are which is kind of a shame that everything gets utilized like that situation it was the whole shebang it was it was everything it was in there it was just yeah yeah i i was blamed for a lot of uh america's uh problems uh during that time which is a shame fox they were using it on yeah social media from asia and because really i felt bad the acts of one solitary black bum does not really say anything about every other black person in america let's be real it should nearly all of them were unaware that this was happening yeah yeah yeah yeah but uh okay so did that change anything for you like all of a sudden find a way a way to like because it's going super viral but it's like it's not like you're tagged in the shit you know yeah yeah yes and that's the that's the the machine the machine lets you like get the fame but like oh you want to get tagged especially when it's like you're not supposed to even be exactly anyone you're supposed to be a random bum right nobody wants to tag you nobody thinks you have an instagram yeah yeah yeah yeah that's why i have humble followers because it's like to tag me is to kind of like kind of ruin yeah to ruin uh yeah like you know it goes further when it's like no no what do you mean right what do you mean this guy could think and you know but then so from there you kind of just go nuts doing more and more subway content because that was just going real good for you at the time yeah yeah you get the rush you get the like oh shit you got and then you lose pages when you lose pages because of the subway because it's yeah dangerous it's illegal yeah my crack sometimes like it's a little bit too much see i was thinking that is that on instagram i would probably never show my butt crack like the way you do because i would just think that i would get yeah deleted even though i know that you know if i were to do a skit with my ass crack out that that's gonna be pretty fucking funny right that's like it worked for me people will probably love it yeah it will go viral more just because like butt crack is funny but then also probably against terms of service yeah yeah i mean it's very natural i don't go like hey guy here's the crack yeah it just looks like it's just natural whatever movement happens and and sometimes my my clothing have been through the wars of like bumming and well you have like a whole bum uh ensemble like your your closet has like a bum section i would assume no no because you have to have normal clothes that aren't like ripped sweatpants right oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i get to because i won't be let yeah i won't be able to make it a burbank like that yeah there's cops all over the station like even if you got on the plane yeah i mean what are you they're probably not gonna let you get on the plane looking like the way you look right now with no well definitely you need a shirt but yeah yeah yeah yeah they you know but they let me take my pictures with the pilot but if people just have like if you have like ripped sweatpants oh no no everyone's just gonna be looking at you like you're filthy just like i can only imagine how many assumptions people must have about you in that environment yeah yeah yeah yeah it's missing my flight is not fun because it's like what the fuck wait that that's happened so you don't like dress nice ever uh well i do but because of the bum head i have a bum head okay so it already makes people like what the fuck but you can put on a hat huh yeah put on a hat yeah but but the struggle it always comes across like struggle but okay friday night you're with a lady friend you want to go get dinner you're not wearing the ripped sweatpants no no yeah okay just want to make sure yeah yeah no no right i yeah i'm a regular guy that wants the day to end good and yeah okay gotcha you still live in new york uh i just moved out here six oh out here yeah oh wow okay yeah i've been here six months.

36:24Wow. Yes. So acclimated to... And I met you because of all people, Alex Stein. Da-da-da-da-da-da! Yeah, that Alex Stein, the right-wing provocateur, as they might say. He actually messaged me. I've actually never even met him, but we've talked a few times online. You've never met Alex Stein? Not IRL, no. No. Wow, he's amazing. I would like to do some content. We can go scope some big booty Latinas maybe. Yeah. there you go yeah that was my first time i became familiar with him and i was like oh my god what a horrible person i was like i want to he's a lovable horrible person right but i i you know not not like a huge aoc fan but he called her a big booty latina yeah yeah he's taking me to our office i was so wait really he brought you in on some of this oh yeah i've been to the capitol building oh shit you stormed the capitol oh yeah shut up i mean we have to run for our lives well it would make sense that you would be free now since they all did get partnered.

37:23Yeah. Wait, but you weren't there on January 6th. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Were you there on October 7th? When was it that we were there that, uh, yeah, he'll be, yeah, yeah. I just go with where, where he got, I don't think it was the, nevermind. Um, but okay. So how'd you meet Alex? Oh, Alex, uh, man, uh, he was doing content in New York and reached out to me like, Hey, hey, let's do something. He saw the vision. He saw the vision. Got it. And we went to Barstool's headquarters. That's where our first date. Oh. And it was classic. We didn't know what was going to happen. Really? Yeah.

38:04And we were, you know, we was calling out Dave, and that was the first time I got manhandled and working. Oh. You were doing content there, and they manhandled you? yeah we just showed up just for the record throughout this episode Josh came in and took photos then Nathan came in and took photos and then Mikey came in and it's all because this morning I was like yo we gotta get more snapchat content and they all took it upon themselves to do the exact same behind the scenes content that's pretty funny wow I don't know who I don't know but awesome you might have thought it was a setup or something yeah yeah yeah um like did you did you like intentionally get fat or like because it's funnier if you were in good shape it wouldn't be as funny uh yeah i mean i didn't intentionally get fat i gotta blame that on like just poor eating you know i've been a mama's boy most of my life and yeah rice and pork chops and i've been there my friend yeah i mean it's very easy to like well for me it's kind of like i'll eat like absolute shit for six months yeah and then like i'll be like okay you gotta chill eat good for like a month two months forget that i was getting fat all of a sudden you start getting weight against because it's kind of back and forth okay yeah yeah well uh i'm a big sweet guy and yeah sweets uh you know because i smoke so like Like it's just.

39:41Weed or cigarettes? I don't know. Weed. Okay. No cigarettes? No cigarettes. Okay. So it gives me the munchies before I know it. What's your smoking apparatus of choice? I just, Swishers. Okay. I'm a basic Swishers guy. Classic. If I get a roll up, I'm like in heaven, you know? All right. It's not going to kill me. Yeah. But yeah, being that I've been smoking for 30 years, it's just the blood habit, you know? Oh, yeah. my tobacco, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's a great combo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm down with everything, the oils, the... Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like a weed smugger who's just down to do any type of weed.

40:23Yeah, bring it to me. Bring it on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got some edibles right there, fucking 250 milligrams per piece. Oh, whoa. I took one, I was on my ass. Oh, shit. The next day, I was kind of still high as shit. Alright, we might have to... Everything 420 shoutouts to them oh wow yeah shoutouts to them wow definitely um job like that wow you ever done content with damn homie the one that got away no no no no i just i just love her oh yeah yeah but you've never connected with her oh no no i put i've i have videos where oh you have done videos yeah i went to uh miami and got the honor of working with her there oh wow she we did a skate where she flew a bum out and brought me to her beautiful place.

41:14Oh, that is funny. I wish I had told my wife to come into this so I could have done something like that. Gifting my wife a bum. That would have been fire. Tell her there's a new cuck in town. That's what I'm saying. Wait. No, I would be the cuck. I'm not going to be like, here's this guy. He's going to watch us for it. even from the Instagram real perspective I don't know if people would think that that made that much sense sorry that's your feel oh you know what's funny though we gotta get a picture of me and him on the plug talk couch

41:53because I do porn we have the porn set on the other side and if me and you are on the couch together then it'll look like we're gonna fuck I realize that's gay but also funny hey if it's funny and more than gay and you know what it's Hollywood it's fine yeah for sure no it's real you're in Hollywood now yeah I'm thinking about giving in to the gay guys really have you thought about doing anything gay while you're out here not willingly what's the gayest thing you ever did the gayest thing by choice or via force yeah if anyone forced you to do a gay thing I mean we should probably talk about it this is the place yeah no no no no because i mean you know i've had a finger in my ass whoa that was damn homie no oh come on my bad my bad she's a friend no she's she's frisky but um who did that to you uh it was in the military it was like you know that was the consequence of like getting out of there when i threw myself down a flight of stairs it's with the triage and before i knew it was like oh yeah so it wasn't like in a freaky way but uh oh that's it was by a doctor by a doctor oh that's not totally no oh okay we've all done that yeah nearly all of us all right so i'm straight no i did the way gayer version i had to uh i had um a sexy no but no but it was um i had like an something was wrong with my prostate basically i had an infection on my prostate which is very random hasn't happened since i don't know how it happened but the doctor basically like knew that i had something messed up with my prostate but they needed to do a test and so they basically like need to stimulate your prostate so he bends me over puts on a rubber glove and jams a finger on my ass and is moving it around and so what this is supposed to do is it's supposed to make come come out of your penis i'm sure you've heard about this that guys come from having their prostate uh touched right i've heard it but not i never did it before but then all but it was barely anything it was like the tiniest little dribble on the end of my penis oh and he had to actually capture that and test it to like confirm that i had this infection that he thought that i had and he gave me antibiotics went right away oh wow but that was really weird it felt yeah yeah you know i mean i guess you probably prepared me but yeah yeah no it was definitely because there was liquids coming out of you a tiny droplet it wasn't like a load oh but isn't that weird to think that like my dick wasn't hard this guy puts a finger in my ass and i get a dribble like couldn't he have said like beat off yeah yeah but like because i would have way rather just like sat there and jerked off in a cup which i've also done in my life but just contributing you know okay you donated sperm uh me and my wife basically wanted to like put aside eggs and sperm so that we can in the future if we don't want to do it now yeah okay okay so your eggs are frozen somewhere well her eggs but yeah oh her eggs okay okay okay what about yours i don't have eggs well oh sorry i ate six eggs this morning but in terms of all right inside my body so you know what's the finger thing i've been thrown off so do you make any money from comedy or from social media or is it kind of rough uh it's been kind of rough because like youtube don't do it really yeah yeah like you either got it or you don't in these things you know these platforms and and i've been banned or flagged so much on instagram that i think i owe them money so it's just kind of like you know takes out to anytime there's like money coming they're like no the crack of your ass is we can see it again and then it sets me back tiktok for sure yeah yeah yeah tiktok is just a wash you can't show booty crack on there yeah yeah yeah so yes it's one of those things when i'm about to be in the clear they just like Ah, we see something.

46:09And I get a violation. So I've not been able to make money. And in New York, even though I was popular as hell, a lot of people that offered me work were from the hood. Yeah, yeah, pull up and we got you. And then the game afterwards, yo, where you was, we're trying to give you the money, and you left. Went to get a coffee. So they used you for a skit. yeah they would use me for skits and then not not pay yeah damn that's grimy as far as work alone it was like it's you know i'm my own everything that's crazy i felt like the instagram skit game should have like an honor protocol yes amen i mean yes yeah like you know if we're gonna do this you gotta respect and that's why i always thought it was interesting when i would see fat boy back in the day and he'd be going around doing skits in the hood a million different neighborhoods and i'd be watching it just like damn bro like how the fuck are you not getting robbed and beaten harassed like i mean i just you go to somebody's neighborhood yeah even if you got three homies i mean you got one guy with a gun hey sorry you're doing whatever we say like you just go bad so easily you know yeah yeah i don't know and and that's why i take the losses because i'm i'm lone ranger out there yeah all right oh yeah i'm gonna block you that's it don't ever talk to me again we didn't want to talk to you anyway i just wanted to scam you scammer and on to the next but so um what what are you doing out here in la like what's what's the game plan yeah the game plan is like trying to land that movie to change my life so yeah so i'm just kind of like yeah dabbling in comedy dabbling and you know like landing a few roles here and there just so you've been going on auditions and shit like that auditions yeah yeah What kind of auditions do you respond to?

48:04What is the description that you're answering? Well, my go-to, which I thought was going to be like, I thought Bum Homeless was going to be like, I'm a wheel out. Yeah. But out here, it's a serious competition. I've not been able to. Even to be a bum. To be a bum. Yeah, out here. Yeah. Well, that's just crazy is that they're going to take like a regular dude and they're gonna like shave some hair off and make them look fucked up boom we've got our bum you're like no I come fully loaded you are gonna save so much money on a makeup artist and everything else like I'm ready brah and it doesn't yeah so so now I'm just submitting for like you know other roles Frederick Douglass had to take a stab at that you know you know okay I just my wheelhouse is no longer my goats.

49:02I'm scared actually because it's like, guys, this is what I'm here for. How are you paying the bills? Paying the bills and that's why I'm a vet so I'm staying at a veteran's. They're taking care of me. Not sure for how much longer but I'm about to get settled in with them. They're not required to take care of you for life as a vet? They kind of are. They look out for us. Yeah. This is the first time I've taken advantage of it. So I'm just, hey. Because I'm supposed to be, I'm service connected. I mean, I'm not service connected. I'm supposed to apply for that. But I've always been like, I'm going to make it as an artist.

49:45I don't need nothing from the government. But here in LA, I'm like, all right, guys. Give me a place to stay to crack things. Okay. Yeah. So they're working on that. about to get keys hopefully in a week or so so thank you America there it is yeah shout out to the troops cheers I'll feed you when you get back guys I promise so now I'm starting to realize it's time I'm going to do this fucking skit this is going to be crazy so I mean I guess I'm going to try to like move the mic over here a little bit so it's a little bit like out of the way okay okay and then like this thing would be great to not hit so i guess i'm gonna dip this down here okay yeah and even my headphones i guess i'm just gonna put those to the side yeah what's the magic word what about this so basically like i would say let's let's loosen the top on this hands oh man this is gonna be like uh Andrew Wilson Does it still have the plastic?

50:55Oh yeah, you're right Oh, okay, that's why I was going to say it was going to be like Andrew Wilson and the can of pickles or whatever that was The plastic now is my problem Yeah Okay, there we go Much better now I'm trying to think about what I'm going to say To make me just To make you want to assault me with the cappuccino You know? I guess you don't even have to. The fake bum always gets me. Like, you're fucking, you're fraud to, you're frauding people out there. That's what you're doing, huh? But what if I'm more like, what if I'm just, like, calling you fat? Huh? Like, if I'm. That's what you're getting me, too.