The No Jumper Show Ep # 448 with Kraig Smith

33:20You got to take that out and chew it again. That's called spinning the block. A little snack for later. It was something I could get with my nail. Sure. But like, you know, there's pieces in there that you can't get. No, that's like the worst feeling. I can't think about anything else when something's stuck in my teeth. Like, it's just. I used to get in trouble at breakfast because I'd be like, what's for dinner? What's for dinner? I'd be like, shut the fuck up, Tony. Shut up, headquarters. How many back teeth are you missing? You still got all your back teeth? I got all the wisdoms out. I just got two wisdoms out on the top, but I still got the ones on the bottom.

33:55That's how you make money, selling back teeth during BT weekend. Niggas don't. Why do they want that? Because most niggas are missing at least one back tooth. The side tooth. They whistle when they talk. Missing the side tooth, especially when you're on camera. It's a black thing. It's like a black birthmark. It's like not eating eggs. Yeah. I think it's now later. Niggas are saying that niggas. We got to talk about that. Yeah, we got to talk about who said that. That was my segue. Great segue. This is a pro podcaster right here, guys. Tony Hinscliffe dropped his special last night. And what was it called?

34:28It was like a week or two. A week or two. Yeah, yeah. Last night. We watched it last night. To us, it dropped last night. What was the name of it again? Do we got the name? Gringo Poppy 2. I don't know what that shit was called. It was called Hossa. I literally just watched it today, too, and I don't remember what it was called. Shout out to Tony. He was dressed like a salsa legend. He had to tuck it in a black shirt with his ass buckle. is uh representing that he's from texas with the belt buckle and shirt and everything that was it's like a zesty texan vibe yeah it's definitely austin texas in a nutshell his first joke was zesty is fun it was about everyone thinking he's gay well he wanted to nip that in the bud because i i think i even did that when i interviewed him back in the day i said something like like i thought he was gay because like he's the kind of dude where like you could justifiably assume he's gay based on his voice and he's not and he's just got to live with that.

35:20That's interesting that the first thing he does in his special is basically says, not gay. That's the rules of cut. You got to talk about the obvious first. His special was called Man of the People. That's the name of the special. My thoughts on it, man. Listen, man, I rock with Tony, man. He's a good dude. But man, this wasn't it for me, brother. I just was... I just felt like he was it just felt like he just was just saying racist shit and then looking for a punchline to go with it like it didn't feel like it was thought out material I have never really seen his stand up I think he really thrives at the Kill Tony thing that's like an ensemble thing but like that being on stage by yourself is a different beast like Craig can tell you like it's just you and that microphone so and then just the fact that he was doing and how do you feel about this Craig I'm willing to get your opinion or everybody's opinion I feel like crowd work is killing stand-up comedy.

36:13I don't agree, but I understand why you say that. But let me tell you the reason why. Because I feel like, you know, back in the day when niggas would drop a special, that mean that shit was special. Like, you know what I'm saying? Nigga then created an hour based off two, three years of trial and error and working this out and polishing it up. And so now the crowd work has become so prevalent. Like, niggas is doing it in their specials. Like, niggas is doing whole specials. And I'm not mad at that because I know a lot of these niggas are great at what they do, but I just think for their original artist stand-up is making that suffer because now even if you go and do comedy now like people in the crowd start yelling shit out because it's such the culture they want the moment now so now fuck this hour that i wrote now i gotta sit there and go back and forth for 20 minutes because everybody is a part of the show now so right what are your thoughts on that craig like as another stand-up well his crowd work i mean was such a big part of the special that clearly he intended that to be the case right right i think it's more so the vibe of the the crowd work it's like the vibe was seeming like the jokes weren't hitting I'm finna get into this crowd work and hope this will save it that's the vibe that it was giving off to me I'm not gonna lie it just felt a little like off you know for me it just wasn't landing and he was even saying the crowd work wasn't working he was like you just messed up my joke I just explained this two minute joke and you're an Asian lady that drives well you know what I'm saying so this doesn't work let's move on I need to watch it a couple more times I know Kill Tony he's a talented guy um I don't know man the opening joke um was it was kind of weird And one of the punches in the joke was him and a guy were going 69.

37:44And that proved he wasn't gay because his dick wasn't hard or whatever. You know what I mean? Suck off. Whoever gay first. He was just challenging somebody to do that. Yeah, right, right, right, right. We'll do a 69 and then we'll see who gets the hardest. And I get it. Which I think makes a lot of sense. I get it. No, the joke was cool, was well written. But I don't know, man. I see like hypocrisies in that joke, man, where I feel like Tony could do better. The special was cool. I would watch it again. Maybe have to watch it a couple more times. But when I watched it, I got kind of disappointed in the gay community because I feel like they allow white guys to play with their lifestyle.

38:22The gay community? The gay community. I feel like white guys can play with the gay community. They can make gay jokes. They can talk about gay. They can say gay things, but there's never any backlash. If he was a black or brown comedian and he made that joke, I feel like it would be a bigger thing. like well I mean you should only be able to talk about getting your dick sucked if you've actually like by a man if you've actually done that that's not true a little pushback on it you remember back in living color remember back in living color they used to do that men on film shit right there was clearly two gay dudes you know what I'm saying doing a movie review so you're saying niggas let niggas get it off back then so I think that's pretty gay niggas let niggas get it off the idea that like that straight comics shouldn't be able to joke about gay people is absurd like It's just like unrealistic.

39:06Well, he also said the F word. He did. I think there's other aspects. You get what I'm saying? Like there's hypocrisies, right? Like when I look, I love Tony, but when I watched, I was like, wow, if I would say that, I would get blackballed. You really think you would? I feel like it's not that bad these days. I think it is true, but it's not because it's just like a random double standard. I think there are like societal like aspects that play into it with like, you know, there being a little bit more of standoffish from the black and even you could say Mexican community than the white community when it comes to gay people just in a general consensus kind of way like white boys I went to high school with a lot of white boys they play gay all the fucking time black dudes don't do that so it's like the jokes do come off differently because a lot of people have that in their mind white dudes are playing like this that kind of gives more of an acceptance when black dudes you play gay they might beat you up that shows it against them I'll give you guys another example of a talented white guy who did something similar and there was really no backlash andrew schultz dope ass comedian when he got into that back and forth with kendrick where kendrick said how uh it's law you should never let a white boy talk about black women what was andrew's response i will beat the fuck out of you i will rape you stop me right do you understand what i'm But that objectively probably is true.

40:25Because Andrew is an accomplished boxer, as I understand it. And he's a lot bigger than Kendrick Lamar. Size don't matter. But how is that? Yes, it does when it comes to raping. But accomplished boxing is crazy. I know, he's not accomplished boxing. It increases my chance. I believe he's been boxing his whole life. I just honestly believe, okay, if you can knock somebody out in a fight, like even if it means going to the ground or choking them out or whatever you can rape them then you can rape them and I do believe that if we locked Andrew Schultz and Kendrick Lamar in a room Kendrick's getting raped I don't know I don't know I disagree with that but okay who do you hate who's gonna save them so I have a what if he knows Jiu Jitsu I don't think it's gonna be a lock where it's just like they just both give up I think Andrew wants that butt and he gonna get it but here's what's weird about that certain personality types only hang around with people that if it went if they had to rape them they could do it Jesus Adam is not one of those people I employ many that I would never be able to Adam you're my boy and you're Andrew Schultz and you're gonna crack that joke I'm gonna tell you nah right nobody said nah right and that's probably cause it's a bunch of niggas around him that he could rape if he was into that type of shit there's no way that I would ever let you go on stage as a comedian and tell a joke about another male you're in conflict with that entails you right I just doubt you know but anyway I forget the context but yeah I would generally say that that's a weird thing to say like what Mike Tyson so that's what I'm saying I've never felt tempted to say that about another dude that I've been beefing with it just wouldn't really right wouldn't wouldn't really happen also like what kendrick said while i disagree with it is not nearly as offensive as like i'm gonna rape so tamed don't talk about black women i'm gonna rape you yeah right what it really kind of like proves kendrick's like overall point which is that you're a piece of shit shout out to andrew schultz he actually called me the other day but uh yeah like i i i felt like that was an outsized response in that instance right right right that's why it's not advantageous for rappers to be for comedians because rappers are limited by the bullshit.

42:38You know what I mean? A comedian can't take it. I was really worried about the Kendrick and Andrew thing because I know what Andrew's capable of and I know how complex it is to write jokes as compared to writing rhymes. And I was glad it didn't go further because I don't think a rapper, no matter how dope he is, has a real chance and a beef with a comedian of a similar stature. So we had this conversation not that long ago, which takes more skill being comedian or being a battle rapper. I said comedian and everybody at the table will disagree with me including Doughboy. I mean it just depends.

43:13I say comedian but it could be it's too different though. Have you done a battle rap before? I have but not like in that sense. I've done it like in crowds battling. When I was battling on the block in Harlem or something. Then they break dance. We used to battle to beats. which is a way different science. You know what I'm saying? I don't even think battle rapping should be considered, it should be considered its own element. You know, you got the, what is it, five or four elements in hip hop, breakdancing. I think battle rap should be its own element. It's like theater, you know what I'm saying?

43:48It's like a play almost. But nobody gives a fuck about it anymore, unfortunately. It feels like it's really kind of gone the way of the dodo. Yeah. It has its own community, but that community is so separate from hip hop. But I guess you could say that about everything because breakdancing is like an Olympic sport. It's its own fucking world that we don't know anything about. Most breakdancers probably aren't like. Filipinos are going crazy. Jabbawockeez. Most of the biggest breakdancers are like completely separated from fucking actual like hip hop and vice versa. Right, right, right. And then like graffiti, you know, like some people like, you know, if you do graffiti, there's probably a pretty good chance that you listen to rap.

44:22But the average rap fan is in no way educated about graffiti. No, they don't know artists or anything. And that shit is very difficult. It's crazy, but it's definitely just like a totally different thing. One hundred percent. One hundred percent. Wait. So Tony Hinchcliffe, my personal feeling was that it did just feel a little too long winded with just the racial thing. Like Andrew Schultz, sure, is someone who like pushes limits when it comes to race. but it just felt like this this special to me felt a little like one note of like let's just see what we can do to sort of push the limits of racial humor as a white guy to what seemed to be like a largely uh non-black audience who was like totally on board with like when he said like that he was going to say the n-word you know that they all like actually really wanted him to right for I don't know.

45:18Personally, I'm kind of like a stand-up hater. There's not that many stand-up comics that I could watch a special from and actually appreciate it, to be honest. I just usually find myself on the side of not loving it. And yeah, I didn't love it. I felt like it was a little... It don't give comedians time to really work jokes no more. It really takes like five years to come with a dope-ass hour. But most cats are doing it in like a year because they blow up via social media and they get a big following. but to get a fire ass fucking hour it's gonna take you like five but i feel like if i had criticism from me personally a lot of times when i was stand-up it just feels like formulated it feels like over rehearsed it just feels like kind of obvious to me i just feel like i you know and i and i feel like this sentiment is much larger now than it used to be a few years ago but i just feel like when i watch comedy like i remember seeing my girl got me joe rogan tickets six or seven years ago like for my birthday or something we went saw him do stand-up and i just remember watching him and just thinking like how is there not more being said publicly about how bad this is really and now i feel like that conversation is so loud and i'm like okay there it is because i just i was taken aback when i saw him so you don't really prefer like material and stuff you like the more like the freestyle stuff the crowd work like if you're in the audience i mean for me personally like consciously or not like i watch all these comics do podcasts and i just don't care about watching their stand-up for the most part i can see that though because it's way more interesting conversation is way more interesting to me yeah like and to a lot of comics probably have like just as big an audience uh or in some cases bigger for their podcasting stuff and i'm sure we can all like joe rogan's kind of an obvious example where he's like a expert tier podcaster and then like really like not that successful comedy wise and i think like a lot of comics would say that's the worst part about like comedy podcasts that's like you know it's elevated people that are funny on podcasts to have everybody thinking that they're the top stand-ups in the world as well you know i'm saying i think it is a way big different thing we should make a tier list of the best podcasting or stand-up podcasters out there right there will people on this for sure.

47:34And we're all toying with the idea of being podcasters turned comics which for some reason each allows the person to believe that they could do the other. Even though there's not that many examples of people who transition. They're closely related. They're closely related. They're cousins for sure. You know what you do well? When you read stuff and you almost turn into a character when you read stuff. It's a good skill to have. I think you'd be a good actor. For real. It's not a good voice actor. I feel like, I feel like cause you, cause you like, cause you did it when I did that standup joke and you read and then when you read other people's text messages and you put your personality on it.

48:11Like sarcastically reading something. Yeah. It's like, I think that there's a skill in that and you possess it. So I think you should lean into that. So yeah. But yeah, I like Tony Hinchcliffe. I just think like Adam was saying, I agree that it was like a little too on the nose. This is what I want to say. And let me see if you guys agree with this. I think we're at a fork in the road creatively in standup where now there should be a separation and split because they can both be great. I think if you go to a show and you want to see crowd work, like Grace, like Matt Rife, Nate Jackson, you know what I'm saying?

48:40Like that's a lane to go. You can see that. You can be a part of the show, whatever. But then on the other side, when you come in to just see material and just let your motherfucker get off for an hour, that's just stand up and then come to that. Because I think when you try to mix them too much, it's like then you're trying to make both of them be each other and they're two totally different skill sets, it's different audience. Like, you know, something like Richard Pryor would sit down, motherfuckers would sit down and shut up for an hour and a half and Dave Chappelle has done it like that's a different.

49:06But they can do both. Like all the greats do both really good. But I just think that when you blend them too much, because that's like it sucks now because I'm going to shoot a special in August when I'm starting to get back on stage and motherfuckers you can't get two minutes in without a motherfucker just saying something because they want you to roast their ass. That's not my skill necessarily is to be a roaster in the moment nigga but I wrote these jokes. Let me get the jokes off. So I just think there should be a split and I can see that you gotta overwhelm you gotta do battle with them you gotta like roast the motherfucker I got to but I just you gotta be ready to go with it you can't do some Kyle shit and just fucking sit there and get your boob jiggled I know man I haven't been the same since but I respect when they label it like this is my crowd work special because I see people do that he dropped a dope one you know what I'm saying niggas are also running when they say that what's that mean when they say this is a crowd work special it's because they know how tough stand up is so they don't want to put a stand up comedy standard on a crowd work special it's like this is a mixtape exactly it's all comedy if it ain't funny it ain't fucking funny stop hiding behind the fact that you didn't go out there and work like you should have I think another problem with comedy is there's no viable underground financially you know in hip hop You have the mainstream niggas and then you have the underground niggas.

50:29So there's a checks and balances and you have underground niggas that are just as rich as the mainstream cats. In comedy, it's a culture completely controlled by the establishment. It's controlled by agencies and fucking corporations. So there's no there's no grit. There's no intellectual integrity to it. Whoever is the most popular motherfucker is going to get the mic and the attention of the people. And that's why the craft sucks. Cause you can't like, if you say you don't like to kill Tony special, there's nothing to compare it to. Even though there's niggas out there that are monsters, there's nothing that you could buy to compare it to.

51:05So people could be like, nah, this is the shit. Okay. But not exactly, but there's like, you know, every big city in America has like comedy clubs where you could just go see random people do comedy. Right. Like there is like a, not like a middle class, but like a very, very low class existence that probably like a pretty, decent number of aspiring comics are able to cobble together through like youtube podcasts maybe with some ads on instagram reels tiktok whatever like plus doing some stand-up like i mean there's it's kind of like i feel like that's a valid path right i think i mean i feel like it's a little bit it's valid it's it's one of the we all come through there but there's like no fine this is what i mean like in the world of comedy is it's ran by drink sales and fucking food sales, right?

51:55That's how many clubs are in it for. So that's why the most popular motherfuckers get dates because people come there to see them and they buy food and alcohol. But doesn't that make an meritocracy and isn't that what we should like probably hope for for a subculture? I mean it's capitalism so it's free market so that's dope but hip hop is so dope because it doesn't really need the validation of anything outside of itself. But hip hop is the same thing because you gotta be popular. Like, you know, that's basically like what determines who's able to make a living. Right. Mitchie Slick record back there.

52:29Right. That doesn't really exist in comedy. Mitchie Slick is a legend on the underground. Right. But people like Mitchie Slick don't. I mean, I would probably be like a Mitchie Slick or, you know what I mean? But we don't exist in abundance in comedy. Like there's no way you can go buy and consume, you know, underground comedian on the same level as you can like somebody who's. But a rapper would say the same thing about the fact that especially now it used to be kind of dope in the sense that you would, you know, drive around and like sell CDs out your trunk. But now, you know, I bought a city off of E40 when I was 10 years old.

53:02But now all you can do is like to encourage people to stream your music, which is like really earns you so little money per stream that it's like kind of a joke compared to, you know, selling CDs for 10 bucks out of your trunk back in the day. Right, right, right. But Craig, you're saying like the comedian will always need like a club in that audience there to perform and do their thing. Right. A rapper could just go straight to the Internet. Check it out. Check it out. Like I'm a guy that could sell out clubs in probably every major urban area where there's Negroes and Spanish people. Right. But I'm not going to get the type of calls I should get because I'm not signed to any agency at the moment.

53:42so the way the agency game works is you know they'll say they'll have cats that are A tier signed to the agency like fucking Kevin Hart or any of those motherfuckers that were on the Kevin Hart roast and the way that they bully the club system is they'll say okay if you want Kevin Hart to come to Sandusky Ohio you gotta put my guy Doughboy that signed to us up or you can't deal with none of our A list artists you get what I'm saying but they'll get weekend spots Friday, Saturday, Sunday and then you got a little guy from Sandusky, a little 21 year old guy that's like the next Jim Carrey. He can do voices and impressions and he's fucking weird as fuck, but he's funny and people love him and he won't get the shot.

54:21They'll give him a show maybe Tuesday at five o 'clock when everybody's at work. You know what I mean? So he has to move to LA and try to get discovered in order to get into the system. You get what I'm saying? When rapping, you don't have to move to Hollywood if you're a rapper. You could be anywhere in the world and fucking go. Just hit upload. It's just being a rapper is You might die. So fucking hard. I would way... It's fucked up. It's like being a roach. Nigga, somebody gonna step on you. If I could be a rapper making 100 grand a year or a comic making 100 grand a year, I would say I would way rather be the comic.

54:58Because as the rapper, there's just so much bullshit that you have to deal with. Assuming you're not a fucking niche, peaceful type of rapper. and that you're like some sort of like street-coated rapper, which is probably like the average rapper that the fans out there think of. It's just so dangerous and controversial and like just a comic in comparison. Like the fact that like you will see a big comedy show and then you'll see the same comics from the comedy show hanging out with all the fans in the front of the club smoking cigarettes and drinking beers after. And that there's no security just kind of says it all.

55:37that like rappers have to move like kings in order to like avoid the constant threat on their life that they are you know sometimes imagining but you know sometimes it's a real thing like i don't know it's just i would weigh around but also i just feel like to make 100 grand a year as a comic is like way easier than to make 100 grand a year as a rapper i would agree these days for sure and even the audience is like people like you know if you get like rappers you get some aggressive audiences but like with comedians people are coming to laugh so it's just like it's gonna be a more chill environment and okay rap is seemingly like unproven as a thing that will continue to bring people out to go to live events it is so like it's not to say it's dead but it's just so much less prevalent than it was a couple years ago i feel like whereas like with stand-up like if there was an equivalent to stand-up with like people being willing to go to like random uh like a like pop club to like just see random rappers right that's like impossible to imagine but people will go to a comedy club just to see comedy and maybe they know like one guy on the bill and that's why they've never even heard of but they'll gladly sit there and watch five six guys before him for an hour or whatever but like in hip-hop like i mean you see how it is when you like go to a show and they have a random person opening for the fucking yeah if you can't do this and people don't know your shit people hate music that they have not heard before but in comparison people love seeing new comedy and most people would not go to see comedy that they had previously seen you know i think it's easier to stand out in comedy too like with rap like it's just tough like everybody's tough everybody's got a history in the background and you know all of that other shit but with comedy if as long as you funny it don't really matter it's like you could look however there's no really set look or shit that you have to talk about like if you funny this if this was to say 200 years ago most rappers would be in jail for violating sumptuary laws what's the sumptuary law is that there used to be these things called sumptuary laws where it was actually illegal to act like you were rich if you wore silk and you were a poor man they could put you in jail damn huh some three laws back for sure so faking until you make it had consequences No, because that was a classism.

57:57This country was established based on feudalism. And that's classism. Knights, nobility, poor. So they really took the class shit fucking serious. You can't say you're this if you're not this. Yeah, that's the first thing that popped in my head, is just the difference in image. You could be bummy as hell as a comedian. You come out bummy as hell as a rapper, it's like that overhead got to be right, and that kind of cake will go quick. If you're a comic, can you pay other comics to interview you? I think you have to be on comedy podcasts is that have you heard of it I've never done it I've never had I've had people pay me to be on my podcast but they had like products barbecue spot fucking whatever you know I mean but I've never taken money from a comedian to be no you can't really I mean pay to play yeah you could but it's just like we're you know rappers charging each other for features like they don't do it for the money like you know I'm saying if you fuck with somebody you'll you know but I'm just saying like rap is weird in that sense because like think about the fact that like rappers largely expect to get paid for interviews at this point really oh yeah yeah or like especially somebody like boosie who's like got a consistent fan base everybody knows that if you get a boosie interview you might make 10 or 20 grand or whatever it is so what does he charge 30 he was charging vlad 25k for an interview and vlad was estimating that he would make about 35k off of the interview so vlad was like making 10 grand and boosie was getting 25k and then basically boosie started trying to ask for more vlad said he couldn't do it that's why they had their fallout but then aries spears saw that dynamic playing out online and this is why us as hip-hop interviewers if we were a gang and comics were the other gang we upped the score on y 'all because vlad when aries spears tried to demand more money because he was paying aries Spears like 4k about every month to do an interview and then Aries when he saw that Boosie was getting 25 he hit up Vlad tripping trying to increase his rate and Vlad basically was like listen like I guess they had increased it multiple times he started at 1k and then with the 2, 3 they had just gotten to 4k and Aries Spears tried to ask for more Vlad didn't appreciate how he came at him they had a whole little disagreement about it and now they are currently not on speaking terms.

1:00:19I think God gave Aries Spears his black eyes. Because them motherfuckers have never won away. How do you have a permanent raccoon face? Aries Spears is a very interesting individual. Another podcast that I'm on, he came on there and got into a fight on there. He always looked like he just woke up. Did you just wake up? I can tell that he does, he figures out a way to make people upset because some of the shit he says I know he doesn't believe it I fuck with Ares Spears but for the record as bad as he may look on camera he actually looks worse because that was part of what Vlad was upset about was when Vlad was describing how accommodating he was being to Ares he included the fact that Ares asked for there to be a makeup artist on set for every episode which cost Vlad whatever like a couple hundred bucks and That's crazy.

1:01:16We get hemorrhoids and hemorrhoids get airyroids. Airyroids. Airyroids. He asked for a makeup artist though? Yes. Every single one. He had to get them eyes. That's some funny shit. And then he needed a budget for paper towels to wipe his forehead too, right? Yeah, apparently. He's a big sweater. Yeah. And he got napkins one day and he threw a fit like, I can't use napkins. I need some residue. One time Doughboy was eating and he got some food on his napkin and he ate the napkin. It's all a part of the shit. I wonder if you just ate napkins, if you could fool your body into thinking that you were full.

1:01:57Soak it in chicken broth or something. Let me see if y 'all ever did this. Have y 'all ever did this fast shit? Have you ever ate a cupcake? And then chewed the wrapper? I never chewed the wrapper of a cupcake. You ever seen a wrapper of a cupcake? Hell no. That's funny. I've done some shit like that. But you like chewed it so all the residue breaks off. Man, it's like a whole nother cupcake in that motherfucker, man. You out of pocket. All right. Y 'all ain't never put peanut butter in a cup, put it in a microwave, melt it in, dip toast in it. I didn't even know peanut butter could be melted.

1:02:32I didn't even know it melted. I thought it was already peanut butter. At this viscous point. I put y 'all on this fat boy shit. I'm going to start making that shit. Fat boy chemist over there with the peanut butter. Paper has zero calories. See? Aren't there different types of paper? It did say that they're like rice paper. Cupcake paper. Y 'all ain't never chewed. I mean, are y 'all just flexing for the camera? Why would I chew it? Flexing for the cupcake in there. You chew it until you get all of the icing and stuff off of it, and then you spit it out. You don't eat it, right? You eat it? You eat it?

1:03:06Oh, no. I don't even believe it. I don't even believe it. Your intestines. He's 15 pounds of shit. I didn't swallow it, but I ate it. I'll tell you what I have done with peanut butter. This shit is fucking fire. You have to try this shit. Oh, shit. Pancakes, waffles, fucking French toast, peanut butter, and then the syrup. No, for sure. That shit is fucking fire. With the Eggo waffle? You bust it down. Tell them how incredible this shit is. That shit's fire. No, I know how good putting peanut butter on pastries tastes for sure. Oh, yeah, for sure. Hey, that's another thing that Tony Henscliffe tried to say on his special, that niggas don't eat eggs.

1:03:39Ain't that some bullshit? Nigga, we eat eggs like a motherfucker. I looked it up because I had never heard that before, and I guess it's like a meme on the internet. Cheese eggs. Yeah, my black homies all eat cheese eggs for sure. I'm going to ask Tony, though, when I see him, because, look, I don't feel like he really had black friends growing up. I feel like he may have had a friend or maybe like, you know, he said he did did he okay well in the special he said he grew up with black friends oh well there we go my bad I gotta watch the whole special yeah but uh yeah the jokes he did have some funny stuff he had some funny moments for sure yeah that group chat text the group the group text chat joke that he had I won't go into it and spoil it that wasn't my favorite but I thought that shit was hilarious I was like yeah I'm trying to think of one of the jokes that I like from him but honestly it was a little rough I'm not gonna lie in the future like the one thing that I will remember from this comedy special was that one like vaguely asian looking dude that he was roasting who like really looked like a killer who was just sitting there with just a terrible look on his face like i don't think i'm ever gonna forget about that yeah he looked like he was not enjoying his time same with the the dad and son he's like have you ever fucked a girl together i'm like what the fuck no he's like i'm good bro like oh no it was not hitting at all it's just like what are we talking about yeah Yeah.

1:04:55Yo, I know. I was thinking, I was feeling out about that Asian lady that he was bugging. I'm like, is she going to like have a job next week? Or is this like serious enough that I could like fuck her whole life up? Which one was this? Nah, he was just talking to her about driving. Yeah, yeah. He was saying she ruined the bit because she said she's never been in an accident. Oh, okay. That was the whole thing. He's like, I wasted my time. Yeah. That fell flat on his face as well. I'm not going to lie. Damn. But I like Tony. I like Kill Tony. You know what I'm saying? he's better on the roast than that stand-up for sure and that's okay because you know he might spin back and have a good one but that just won't that was everybody can't do everything yeah yeah yeah he has one of the biggest podcasts will be okay i mean some people say the same thing about joe rogan like he's a really good podcaster but his stand-up ain't bad yeah some people say that sometimes that nigga just said it on this podcast some people have it that's offensive um yeah the Joe Rogan thing like I just I feel like he seems like such a good guy and it's just so hard to separate that from what his comedy is like it's hard to fathom how somebody could be a seemingly good person and seemingly so unfunny stand up is hard though bro for sure trying to relate to different crowd like you go to an audience this is a couple thousand people that you've never met and And the only common denominator they got is that they're watching you and expecting you to be funny.

1:06:20Yo, when you guys said that you were going to watch that special again, that is mind-blowing to me. I can never fathom watching stand-up. I'm just a fan of the sport. I'm a fan of the sport. So, you know, I'll go back and look and just, you know, because, you know, it's always tough to learn from. So, you know what I'm saying? And plus, maybe I missed a couple of the jokes or maybe they're over my head or, you know, but I'll give it a second. I could barely finish that first one. That's what I'm saying, yeah. I couldn't do the last 10 minutes. I just gave up. it was late it was like you know you just get that feeling like this is not how I want to end my night I kind of just felt like I got the gist of this I feel like it's going to be more of the same type of stuff racial shit just felt like it was just like are we over entertained though for sure if it was 1980 and this was the only stand up special of the year I would probably think it was great yeah because it would be so like shocking like but there's been like a hundred comics that have came out and said, oh, black people this, you know, Mexicans this.

1:07:18It's like, you gotta be a little more creative and thoughtful, I think. Right. Black people eat chicken, it's like, okay, bro. Do you wish he said the end work? You probably do. That whole crowd. I don't wish he said it, but I wouldn't have been pissed if he did. Like, you know, whatever. It just feels like a line that it's hard to imagine how a white comic would cross that line at this point, but it just feels like sooner or later one of these guys is gonna do it. I think it's coming. It's definitely it's gonna happen I seen a video online the other day and it was two different cholo gangs and nigga I beat your ass nigga I fuck and I was like god that's crazy and neither one of these Spanish people yeah these are real essays these are like play around these are essays that like should be respected but you know Jordans black R &B singer lineup you know nigga I'll fuck you up to another fucking essay you know what I mean so that's the time we live in where things are changed the thing ain't changed that's been regular my whole life how do you say nigger in sign language uh i don't know

1:08:27that's dumb as fuck that's so funny because you think it's like something else before you realize what's happening that was great yeah that was funny um oh shit no i've seen a video or two like of like a Mexican gangster dude and he's like spitting out a black dude through a gate and he just says fuck hard R's and I'm just like wow that is just like the most LA thing ever when you hear a Mexican gang dude saying that shit it just sounded so crazy but then hop in the car and turn on Smokey Robinson and then go watch Kobe and Shaq do their thing he probably wasn't a lefty gun player these days Tommy Guns Tommy Guns with the shell on his head yeah that was hard yeah no idea what that means i don't know what it means i was trying to figure it out and decipher it but i'm just like that's hard why why a shell logo any popular logo on your face or head is just cool as a gang member for sure i love that yeah that's what i would do if i fucking get a face tat yeah we're gonna go one yeah steak steak wait what that's what it means i mean okay yeah i guess i would assume that okay it's like you know shells like a gun it has shells in it have you ever shot at somebody no have you

1:09:49but my shit wasn't like on no gangster shit I was scared well sometimes you gotta oh so like you shot at somebody who was like confronting you somebody came to where I lived at shooting oh you shot back but it wasn't like you know what I mean you didn't hit him nah but that feeling for a couple days not knowing did somebody get hit? I don't see how you can live like that. That shit is fucking... Was this back in the day before they had cameras everywhere and shit? So you weren't as worried about it? 2002. That was a good time to shoot somebody. Nowadays. What a time. You're getting locked up. To unalive.

1:10:26It's all fucked up. What a time to unalive. New parody just dropped. New parody alert. If guns made different sounds, I don't think people would shoot as much. What sounds you mean? Right now it's pop. It's really loud. But if it was like a moaning sound or something embarrassing. Like a gay moan. Yeah, I think if we changed the sounds that guns made, I think it would lessen gun violence. No, but that's why the switches took over the planet is because they sound cooler. It's not just that they're better at killing people, but it sounds like an 808. It's like, you know, that shit is like way harder.

1:11:04I feel like that's part of like why the switch took over America for a while there. Yeah, we should get switches. for sure switches switches never like made it to LA seemingly I like never hear about people using them out here I'm sure they do every time you hear about somebody getting caught with a gun in Chicago, Philly always got a switch I think they just don't talk about it how many people are you trying to shoot where you need a mini machine gun a lot bro it's a lot of ops and they did that shooting outside of the fucking Mellow Bucks concert in Chicago and they had a switch they killed like 5 people or that Stockton shooting at the 40 they have switches in that motherfucker I mean if you really want to like mow down a fucking group of people and you only have a handgun with a 30 round clip on it thank god the mass shooters haven't got the switches yet like the school shooters don't give them any ideas because that's your audience yeah edit this out guys that is your audience that is my audience you know what's fucked up lefties what is is putting rubber bullets in the gun of somebody that's trying to kill themselves boom Point blank range.

1:12:09The rubber bullet is still doing you in. Put it in their mouth. Will it? Will it? I don't know. It's going to be goofy as a motherfucker. You keep knocking yourself out. Is this heaven? You remember that girl who like, they put the Bible over the kid's chest and she shot through the Bible, right? I thought that was a real bullet though. Yeah, but it killed him. And then she got hit with the murder charge. I think so. I think that's how it works. And they did it like as a show. It was like people there, audience and everything. No, I'm talking about some random shit. She got hit with a murder charge.

1:12:38This wasn't the thing they were doing on some YouTube shit? I don't know. Did they? I thought that. I think they were doing it for a YouTube video or something. I don't think they dropped that one, though. They didn't drop that upload. But there were people there that witnessed it. Oh, okay. You know what I'm saying? Oh, this really happened. Yeah. Yeah, it was an audience of people. They were like, oh, he all right. He all right. You're probably talking about a fucking David Blaine special or something. No, I'm not saying that. He probably did something like that. No, it was something that really didn't happen.

1:13:02I thought it was the same thing you were talking about. figure it out let's figure it out research research obviously people love shot through bible okay bro you seen that that 10 year old killed that kid they found a gun and like shot a little cousin or something on accident but the dad's getting charged with murder for that so it's kind of the same oh that's fucked up if i'm gonna google something you guys can't all stare at the tv yeah oh my gosh you guys you guys a gun through a bible or was it a fucking phone book i'm pretty I'm pretty sure it was a Bible. This was a viral real-life incident.

1:13:35Told you. No, yeah. No, this is what I'm talking about. A 19-year-old man named Pedro convinced his 22-year-old girlfriend, Monica, to shoot him with a.50 caliber Desert Eagle handgun while he held a hardcover book, often misremembered as a Bible against his chest. He believed that the book would stop the Bible. The couple was attempting to film a dangerous stunt to post on their YouTube channel. No, you were acting like it was on a TV show. No, I'm not. I was saying that it was. He said YouTube. He said YouTube. It was somebody who was filming it. Yeah, it was just like, it was just two random bits.

1:14:04A 50-cal? Come on. That's going through anything. It's going through a car door. Like, what do you mean a bypass? She got hit with second degree manslaughter. Right. That's all I was saying, that it was for a video and that they had an audience. That's not fair to her. I don't think there was an audience. That's not. Do you know who Dr. Kevorkian is? Nah. He's a legend. He's a legend. He basically would, people would pay him when they had terminal limits. Oh, she got 180 days? Well, yeah, she got six months in jail followed by 10 years of supervised probation. I would do that if she has a teardrop something else is going on she can never have a gun that seems fair and no YouTube channel that should be in there she should not be allowed on social media clearly she's got decision making fatigue oh you got a meme somebody said I'm always right is that a meme Craig Smith is always right oh no Staggered jail time.

1:15:02What's going on with this window? She looks like the girl who crashed the car into the brick wall and killed her boyfriend. Oh yeah, what about her? She's crazy. Is that okay? There's a girl from a few years ago. She was mad at her boyfriend. She drove 100 miles per hour into a brick wall. Killed him and his friend. You're talking about the girl on the break? Oh, that's a different one. No, a different one. I remember that. She went 100 miles per hour. Think about how fast that is. And killed everybody. The fastest you've ever gone. She lived. The other two dudes died. There was a documentary about her.

1:15:35They check like the black box of a car because they have that now. And it's like she never attempted to hit the brake. She just went straight into a brick wall. Doing like over 100. But how was that her plan to kill him and not herself? I think it was like I'm killing everybody. And she just survived. She survived. And the homie and her man died. Yeah, they died. But she was like on the documentary in prison. and she's like, I'm so sorry for what I did. And then the camera keeps rolling. She goes, is that good? Did that sound sympathetic? Did that seem real? She's like a psycho. No, I need to watch this.

1:16:05She's like a psychopath. Some of these documentaries are too interesting. I think they're doing some shade. I think they're acting like some of these things are docs and they're really not. What do you mean? Like, because some of the - They just make up the story? Yeah, because some of this shit is like incredible shit. What was the name of the - I don't remember the exact name of this documentary, but it was about a guy who fucking lived next door to a family. It was like an Iowa, and he fucked everybody in the family. He fucked up next door, I think, as well. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He convinced the dad to suck him off.

1:16:41The mom to give him a hand job. It was crazy. No, that was legendary when I forgot about him. I think Adam could do that if he moved next to a family. To fuck a family? Yeah. i think that's above my pay grade man i can't even imagine seducing a woman anymore like i'm just like that that's what's weird about being like the porn guys that's like i can't my riz is that like all time low i just don't even a guy though yeah that's that would be a an option it's always an option yeah nah but you're doubtful of that story like you think they might have just re-rocked it here's the thing i really i'm not it's just very interesting you know what I mean so like sometimes I watch National Geographic and they have these scenes where it's like just perfect setup like hyena lion walks up like really how long did you stay there for this shot at some point like this has to be this has to be a setup like to get these two animals to interact that can smell each other from miles away in no danger but somehow they walk in front of your camera just outside of the camera they're opening a cage and letting them out so I think there's a little bit of that going on like some extra like you know going out there type shit like movie magic would it bother you if you found out that the documentary you were watching was ai and it wasn't it was like a fake murder story yeah i would bother i would be bothered yeah i hate when it's like a lemon woman and a strawberry man and i'm watching and i'm like this is ai what the hell well yeah they give me every time they give me on the uh i just realized it those videos where people go and like take a box from somebody's porch and they take it to their car then it boom it explodes they got ai versions of that now yeah and i'll be watching all of them The chick was like, you know that's AI, right?

1:18:20I was like, fuck. That's how you know you're an old, though, boy, for sure. That's how you know you're 48 or whatever. 46. 49. Two of August. Damn. 50's going to be nuts. Man. Yeah, I got to go cray cray. Yeah, is that the lesson that you've learned? Is that cray cray? In order to turn 50? I've heard cray cray in so long. You got to go cray cray? Or is the lesson like, let's have a family? Not cray cray. Yeah, I mean, I'm open to it. But if it don't happen, I'm not attaching my anchor of happiness to that. If it happens, cool. But if not, cool. Settling down at 50 is comedy. It's not fair for the kids.

1:18:58You're going to be dead by junior high. They don't want to fucking. I want to hang out with dad. I don't want to. 60 at their graduation. Lauren Hill got rubber bands in her mouth at 55. Rubber bands? On the braces? Yeah, okay. She was singing yesterday. Why the fuck does she. That's like a barbaric style of braces at this point. And especially when you sing. Yeah. You're a public figure. Everybody's got Invisalign. Right. Or just fucking veneers. What do the rubber bands do? They just restrict how much you can open your mouth? Yeah. They pull it into place or whatever. That's crazy. I mean, it felt normal in 1998 when I got braces, but I feel like that was just like primitive now.

1:19:39You guys all have braces? Huh? No. No. I feel like if you're getting braces after 50, that speaks more to procrastination than dental alignment. What are you waiting for? There's so many things that seem X'd out after 50. Exactly. That's just you now. I'm still too far away from 50 that to me, 50 feels like you're knocking on death's door. Right. But that's because that's eight years away for me. Yeah. I've been thinking about that too, because I've been like going with this bald shit. Like I can't grow my hair back. Like every time I try, like it don't grow right here, man. You just have a bald spot?

1:20:12Because your hairline looks kind of My hairline can be cool But this shit grows so fucked up now Everybody got hair in this motherfucker This nigga used to be bald for years How'd you get hair from being bald? I just grew it out So you chose to be bald What made you go bald? I just fucking got tired of getting a regular haircut You want to be like DMX? Wait yo You have a lot of hair for someone your age That's no hair transplant? He's on his Jay-Z tip Yeah. It's T.I. You look crazy with a baldy, huh? Like this kind of baldy. I started No Jumper with a baldy. This is white supremacist vibe. It does, yeah.

1:20:48Honestly, it looks weird. But now I'm like bald with a beard. Like when I started No Jumper, I was bald with no facial hair, which was really gross. Now you're like Wes Watson kind of if you went baldy. Have you ever gone balbles? Nah, I never went bald. I'd go so far. It might be all SA edition. It's crazy. I'm going to be getting banged on. Bald head is just so aggressive. It's a lot. It's a lot of upkeep too. And I feel like that, okay, bald head with an athletic body type, you can pull it off because bald head is a logical hairstyle for an athlete. If you're a bald head dude and then you're like kind of out of shape, it just comes off like you're like a gang member or like a racist or like, as a white guy, you come off like, you're always like kind of on the spectrum of looking like a skinhead, even though like the skinhead style is not really popular anymore.

1:21:35Or you're sickly. I feel like white guys that are bald give like, is he sick? you know is he dying it's like chemo patients yeah because chemo patients and skinheads fucked up being a bald like that that's crazy facts yeah i think bald and fat sucks yeah i'm living that horrible truth that is way better than balding and fat though balding and fat is probably worst case you just gotta give up the ghost sometimes man i wasn't gonna be trying to do all that shit like you know i was just like fuck it i had a good run let me just cut somebody like you know you get super cracking in the podcast space a doctor from turkey reaches out hey we'll sponsor you for free we'll re-rock the back of your head we'll we'll go crazy as long as it ain't too much maintenance i i would have no going to turkey i ain't fucking with it i'll get my teeth done but i'm just sent out there too i just went out there and got his shit done by my doctor his lorry look pretty cool oh it's your doctor dinner so is it is that your hair grows again what the fuck do you think is going on on my head right now i don't know it's a little it's a little it's a little it just stays the same so wait so let me ask you this so what is it that they did to make it grow again okay since you're asking me instead of going on fucking google and asking you go they go into the back of your head they removed hair follicles one by one then they move them all to the front of your head and then the hair in the front now grows just like the hair from the back of your head but you have a shitload of hair in the back of your head so you don't really need it all and then like when i was out there i seen like arab dudes that didn't have that much hair in the back of there so they're having the chest hair taken out and put in the front and notably even if your chest hair is gray i have hella gray chest hair i could move that hair to the front of my head and it would grow brown because it matches the pigmentation of the area not the original hair fall jesus that's one fact of the day damn i had no idea it was that deep and complex.

1:23:27You should have pubes and get them in the back. That would be fire. I'd be happy to shake it. I'm a quarter Mexican, so I'm not I have. If I just grew my chest out, you wouldn't even see my chest. Don't blame that on us. You're a quarter Mexican. I don't know what part, but I know it's 25%. My mom's half. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. I never knew that. This is for La Raza. You said this shit wrong. You done this for our people. If he was from a Mexican hood, That would be so good. Like if he was Rich Rabbit? Yeah, Rich Doughboy. That'd be so hard. I told him that earlier. We were watching Rich Rabbit.

1:24:00I go, you should join a Mexican gang. You should. And does your doctor know a mouth doctor there? A mouth doctor? You looking for some top? A dentist. Oh. I came to Turkey for some hands. I'm sure he knows. Like, I'm sure he's tapped in. There has to be a place. They all got to hang out. All the fun. And this is the thing is that, okay, A, the hair transplant, way cheaper than you would expect. I didn't pay for it. but the guy that i'm sitting next to on the fucking shuttle i'm talking to him about it and i'm realizing that he did like the same number of hair follicles as me 2500 bucks that's not bad i'm like that is a fucking dream come true right there bro that is cheap as fuck because the same number of hair follicles in la rough math maybe like 20k or some shit it's like way more more than that honestly but like 200 haircuts me and vlad have both like done it in america and done it in turkey and we both agreed turkey by a mile but basically like anyone who has like a decent social media presence can probably talk their way into getting that shit for free too because they're pretty competitive with like trying to get influencers and shit you know hey turkey i might look into it one of you motherfuckers out there i need to get my teeth done come on i need to get my hair done getting the xl joints i'm coming back i was just with ti son i couldn't stop staring at the veneers i'm bringing the hair back man fuck it i'm gonna I'm going to do it.

1:25:21Let's do it. Yeah, because I ain't got the face for a bald head. You should just have a full-on afro, like big-ass afro. The afros are so underutilized by the black community. Jay-Z looks good with the afro. You call that an afro? They took the locks out. I like a solid, thick, shrub-style afro. Yeah, you want it to have some bone in it, not a boneless one. Just a boneless afro. A boneless afro is crazy. I know what you're talking about. Afro man. No, when it's perfectly groomed, like round. I spent upwards of like an hour on Google looking into this, but I'm completely 100 % convinced that Afro man's hair is fake.

1:26:04You're such a, I don't want to be the one telling the world, but he just wants a Turkey. If you look at it, it's like, it's actually like really poorly hidden because like there's clips of him with like the most solid, perfect, dark black Afro. afro and then there's clips of him where it looks like what it actually looks like and it's yeah how much was the pussy in turkey did you buy pussy i did not buy pussy how do you travel and not buy pussy that is so irresponsible so while my head was bleeding and i had fucking you know my your your head gets so swollen when you do it like nobody ever gets to see this part but you look like an alien because your head is swollen as fuck for like two days and so for sure the last thing i was thinking about was having sex with a prostitute did it hurt did it hurt while he was doing that did you say vlad went to turkey too i just did it that's brave that's my guy i sent him there what hurts more a tattoo or that i interviewed my doctor if you want to really watch that that exists how do you say his name dr akar okay that's not bad he's not an actual car not a van but a car no it's dr a car what hurts more a tattoo or the hair thing

1:27:15probably a tattoo honestly okay yeah i done got a bunch of tattoos actually yeah it's like tattoos a lot worse especially like on the back of your head like on your head where you do the hair transplant it's like that's the worst place to get tattooed from my experience is the head but it takes a few months for it to like look normal you do look like a little crazy at first that's why you see Vlad wearing a fucking Louis Bucket hat doing interviews right now I thought you were supposed to rock the hat you were just supposed to rock it out and let the air breathe you're not really supposed to but if you wear it at the right angle so it's not sitting on top of the fucking patch that you did honestly I mean if you want to see me like right after getting it big deal no jumper interview this is me I'm gonna say five days after I got it done oh yeah oh shit I just remember I was so motivated the shit on C-Rail that I did this interview like when I really did not want to do an interview because I was yeah but if it was closer you'd be able to see that like this shit looks fucked up it's like a bunch of little dots I look way skinnier what the fuck am I doing yeah you're hella fat yeah look at this guy I seen myself in a full length mirror the other day I didn't like what I saw Was it one of those carnival ones?

1:28:36No it was one like on the closet The bed was super high I just looked over I was just like Imagine how other people feel I didn't like it This is a good fit though I wanted to give you credit He always rocks that jacket He's got like solid pants on He's got some good mid forces on That are clean the mids the mids where you might change that where'd you get the foolery it's the middle of the mall I like fake chains though I have a couple real chains the fake chains actually look a little better in the light they're better for fucking entertainment moist tonight nigga man moist tonight we're all not wearing chains that's what the dynamic was I noticed at Vlad's a dinner party was that some people are wearing nice like button-up shirts and shit and then you've got a lot of other people like glad me etc who are just wearing like plain t-shirts and stuff but every single person who was wearing a plain t-shirt had jewelry on besides me i was the only one that opted out of the jewelry i've just like long since decided i've never had any chains no i refuse didn't you have the 22 chain i did lennon bought me that i wore it to go i wore it for a You gave it away or what?

1:29:57Honestly, it's in the safe that I can't remember the code for. So at some point, I'm going to have to deal with that. You forgot. You didn't put it in the phone or nothing? Damn. I felt like I wrote it down. But honestly, I haven't even tried it in like five years. You should bury it. And just try it in 20 years. I lock myself out of my Apple thing all the time. I have to always reset my password. No, that's crazy. The iCloud. They have the face one. Just badger face. No, but sometimes you got to put it in for the purchase. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, what did I do? Because I didn't change this so much.

1:30:24The iCloud password, yeah, definitely gets tricky. I changed that motherfucker. I remember I went to Faze Banks' house back in the day, and he was sawing through a safe. And I remember thinking, like, wow, what a retard. Like, such a stupid thing to have to do. And now I've had the same problem for, like, seven years. But I actually haven't, like, you just made me think about it for the first time in, like, probably a couple years. Do numbers ever pop in your head? You'd be like, oh, shit. No, I don't remember anything. Ever. Rain Man. It's autistic numbers running through his mind. He's got to bury his shit next time.

1:30:53That's the old school way. put it in a bag buried in the yard escobar not good it could work out for you like i feel like if you do that then it's gonna get eaten by some sort of like unidentified bug under the ground yeah for sure bacteria and shit you just gotta wrap it you know i mean how long are you gonna keep it in the dirt for you know a couple years 20 years yeah you know james brown buried a million dollars and came back and the fucking bacteria ate it up yeah escobar same thing they said all the money was all moldy and like breaking up. You can't spend that shit when they start breaking up.

1:31:26No. You got to use some kind of like weird container for it or something, right? Yeah. Air seal it or something. I don't know. Craig, you only buying coochie overseas or are you a domestic coochie buyer as well? You got to support the economy. Yeah, American prostitution is a little bit overpriced. I go to places where you can get a J-Lo for 30 bucks, 40 bucks. Define a J-Lo. So, JLo is a very attractive Latino woman who's been kidnapped from her family. Oh, shit. That's great. You made a dark turn. All the guays, Paraguays. What are some other guays? You got to love a third world country. All those.

1:32:06Because when I went to Cuba, you realize pretty quickly you got two types of people. women who are prostitutes and then men who are cab drivers. It's like the only things that each person can do. It's fucking surreal how... Everybody sells pussy in Cuba. It's got to be the highest percentage of anywhere on earth. I bought pussy from a judge in Cuba. Are you fucking serious? A judge? Everybody sells pussy in Cuba. I didn't know that. I never heard that. Yo, you gotta be careful when you go to Amsterdam because when you go to the red light district, they got different color lights and different lights mean different things so you gotta like pay attention.

1:32:47What's the banana out the pussy light? What color is that? Yellow? It's a trans light. But no I think the red was like a chick. I think if it was like blue it might be that and it's like a different color light. So just stick to the red. Did you do it? You banged prostitutes in Amsterdam? Huh? You did? He has headphones on that's feeding your words right into his ear. But you know But if I remember correctly, I think I couldn't even perform. I think it was just, I just ended up talking for like 15 minutes. You got gummy worm? I got gummy worm. Did you just talk to her? I mean, I'd already pay.

1:33:22My memory of when I went to Amsterdam when I was like 19 or whatever is that the pussy was like 60 bucks. And I didn't do it, but a couple of my friends did. That's reasonable. Aren't they standing in a window and shit there? Yeah. And I would assume it's probably more now because this was 20 years ago. But honestly,$60 for pussy is so cheap that that's basically free as far as I'm concerned. That's outrageously cheap. That's like taking a girl to Applebee's and fucking Applebee's. And even like, let's say with inflation and whatnot, it's like$1.50. I was going to say$120,$150 probably. $150 for sex is basically free.

1:34:04Right. For shit. But also sex with a condom, I'm just so uninterested in it. That's why I think I had the gummy worm. Because I had to wear the condom, but my dick was just like, nah, fam. That's tough. DR, Dominican Republic, they're ahead of their time with BBL. They got the BBLs that float in the Dominican Republic now. For real? I bought pussy from a bitch that was sitting Indian style on top of the water. She had a float in BBL. What the fuck? They got BBLs that fucking float. What patient advice? No, I just like BBLs to me is like the greatest invention ever. Yeah. This is like ever when dudes say they don't like it.

1:34:44I'm just like, you are so gay. It's pandering to the natural women. It's pandering. Like, yeah, no, I like natural women. You know, so all the natural and being like, yeah, there's no surgery that yields that high of an increase in potential revenue than the BBL. But I get a bad one. Everything. Yeah. even a bad one but the bad ones obviously are horrible and i hate them but like a good bbl will basically like rocket you into stardom for sure regardless of your face like there's girls who are just doing their thing getting so many likes every day making hella money off only fans and a they're using filters even in the videos to make their asses look bigger no but then like when you really get a look at their face they're not even hot right they're not like to be whooped it's not a face that would really elicit any attention in any prior generation but they got a good bbl yeah let me ask you this what are the bullet points to know you're looking at a bbl because i don't i can't just eyeball and know like oh that's a bbl rounder than shape could be uh sculpted by a human being like perfect like god made it perfectly higher i don't think god made that higher rounder um and and really you just have to like think about like what women looked like before the advent of the bbl and like would this have been attainable in 1995 i don't understand women that get bbls that don't sell sex like the nurse that got a bbl they're out there man i know them it's crazy yeah it feels fucked up there's cleaning ladies with bbls yeah but that's like in the 90s if you had fake boobs like 100 chance you did porn or a stripper or whatever and now you know little timmy at the skate park's mom has fake boobs Don't get mad when I ask you how much, you know what I mean?

1:36:26Like, what's up? Like, I'm trying to fucking box with me. Don't get mad. This is your advertising. Yeah. Y 'all taking the botched BBL or complete flat pancakes? Like, terrible botched BBL or just flat ass nothing? Nah, I'll take the botched. It's like almost dipping inward, like backwards. I need something back there. Okay. I think I've, like, accomplished enough in life that I just can't go for either. It's just not. Those are both just sound like monster movies to me. A monster mash. I can't consider a flat ass or a fucking disgusting BBL. And you got to have a threesome with both of them for plug talk, Adam.

1:37:03No, I have definitely done this on plug talk for sure. But there's a lot worse out there. No, for sure. It could be worse. I haven't probably had to encounter on a personal level. What else you got? What do you got for topics? BET Awards. How y 'all feeling? We didn't really go into it in the news, so we're clear to talk about some things. I got a pretty strong take on one individual Lauren Hill she got the Icon Award and while I think that she is a dope artist and she did deliver a classic album Once Upon a Time I feel like she's really overrated I feel like she's one of the most overrated artists ever like bro she did one album Miss Education it was a fire album but they rank her up there as like the top woman lyricist put her over people like Nicki and stuff I'll be like yo that's just so crazy and just for her to get an icon for one album and then one group album.

1:37:56Anybody else feel me on this? I actually completely agree with you, but I also feel like this is kind of like your thing is that you always go anti-black. You always go anti-black woman. No, I'm not. No, I'm raising a black woman. I got nothing against black women. I feel like you kind of like low-key do. No, not at all. I don't think you fuck with our black queens like you said. I fuck with our black queens. I fuck with our black queens but I just can call a ball a ball and strike a strike you know what I'm saying in that situation I just feel like just think about it who else in music could say that you would call them an icon off one solo album and one group album yeah she's kind of like the J Electronica but both of those albums were so good the Fuji's album I used to actually bang as a child over and over and over the Laurinella album I didn't really care about as much but But from what I see, people worship that project.

1:38:54So, you know, I mean, that's two albums, like, pretty legendary, even though I agree. Like, I mean, it's kind of like a D, I think, that's even in the conversation about that being, like, a legendary run. That's like, it's just not really. She's the most complete hip-hop artist ever. You think so? Most complete. She's a high-level rhymer, and she's a high-level singer. I heard she was jacking material, though. No, a lot of that shit was, I mean, look, if you let, what's his name that plays the piano fucking Scott Storch nah legendary jazz pianist Pulse fucking John Legend nah jazz dude bald head awkward looking fucking when I think of his name you're gonna be like oh okay Robert Glasper Robert Glasper was a part of the production team on that he said all the songs were stolen and these were other people's music and he was mad cause she wasn't giving people their credit from her album from that miseducation a lot of that yeah a lot of it that's why it's fire it's because she stole it all well I don't think it's fire because of that but I mean that would be the I could see that being a reason why not to like her you know what I'm saying if I'm Doughboy but the actual music is fire right no and I give her that she's doing the right stuff for sure she went crazy no but she's super talented but I get what you're saying like she's highly touted as like one of the goats like you know Craig just said and you don't agree the body of work ain't there to justify that but just personal opinion So I feel like you got to like, if you're going to have a take you like that, like you got to like think of like more shit that you're going to say about it.

1:40:27And then like maybe try to like deliver it in like a notable or funny way. Just, just my, my advice. Cause I know that was like a big thing that you were cooking up there. Yeah. I think the Lauren award kind of coincides with like Kendrick winning the artist of the year and he hasn't dropped in two years. It's kind of just, there are, it's kind of the, what are the metrics? The normie answer. It's just like if you ask some random person off the street, like who should get this award? They'd say all the people that BET gave the award. But you're saying she's overrated because she doesn't have enough work?

1:40:57Yeah, I feel like those two bodies of work don't justify you being an icon in this game. It's like them albums came out like over 20, 25 years ago. It's like, and I get that they were good then, but we didn't get no work from her later and we didn't see her evolve as an artist. So we could just go back to these two projects, which is fine. They are goaded projects, but I just don't feel like they spring her into the level of you are a icon. Okay, this is why. It's because the culture wants to celebrate notable, important black female artists in particular. And realistically in hip hop, not that many, realistically, going back.

1:41:35It's like now we're in the age of the female rapper, but you rewind the clock to the 90s. just like a very like limited list that they're working from and despite her not putting out as much music she has like maintained this aura and this mystique and really her not dropping music for this outlandishly long period of time is like that's her that kind of like bolsters her image the same reason why cardi b was able to coast for eight years without putting an album out you know if you put if your last album was really really really dope then you could kind of just like get by without dropping anything ever again you know rihanna obviously another example of that Lauren Hill has not fucked up her image which she could have and that would probably make her less of a legend but she is a legend because as weird of a life choice as not dropping an album for 20 years is she left on a high note and she didn't fuck up her image she never did like a you know rainbed deal or whatever it kind of has an impact on your life but there's a bigger point that Adam is making you know is it is this an indictment on women because women love whores.

1:42:40Yeah, and that's another reason why she's notable. She didn't do the sex appeal thing. You know? Women love whores. Look at fucking Cardi B. She's not a great rapper. By girl standards, she's pretty competent. I'm not going to lie. She's willing to work with writers. She's a dope artist. She's not a dope writer. We live in an era where nobody gives a fuck about like you know who's who's a great lyricist when it comes to girls we don't care at all especially and the girls are the number one women have to be whores in order to make it there's no female rapper and maybe i'm maybe you could educate me i can't think of a a rich popular female rapper that isn't naked titties done ass done talking about being in the strip club getting fucked fucking a guy with money she don't fuck with broke niggas and she'll be homosexual sometimes and lick pussy.

1:43:34There's no women like Lauryn Hill that are just dope as fuck that are popular. I mean, there are. It's just the culture doesn't give a fuck about them. Rhapsody exists. Fucking No Name exists. Rhapsody is fire. Right. They're pretty niche phenomenons. I have never watched an entire Cardi B video without beating off. I always end up jacking off. Fire. and this is the issue i mean i want that problem a lot with all kinds of content as well her at the bt awards cardi looked no she's outrageously high yeah i mean but let's be real like women they're just like having like like female hip-hop as its own genre has just like not evolved to the point of there being artists like what you're describing in the mainstream right right you know and lauren hill realistically is kind of like the best example of somebody who was on some politically minded smart whatever vibed it coded shit and then also was really high up making hit records whatever was in the public eye like crazy i mean i i have to believe that she would have put another album out if she felt like she had it in her right and then the business did she never dropped anything she did no i don't i'm not sure yeah definitely not a project but the business business of hip-hop was trash back then anyway so a lot of times an artist not dropping it's not like the artists it's the deals they're in they used to do trash deals back in the day but if she had a dope album in her i feel like somebody would have dropped it it'd be super beneficial drop it like cardi b like does she want to take an eight-year break i mean maybe some part of her wanted to take an eight-year break but realistically if she had a because then when she finally dropped the album it was good but it's not does it sound like eight years of work no it sounds like a pretty regular ass album but I think that she dropped a classic album and then had a hard time recreating that and it sort of I don't think she wanted to drop that album as it was I think she felt like she kind of had to at a certain point you know somebody said her but her is an R &B singer right I'm not talking about R &B because you got dope at like Sizzins she's pretty dope that's R &B that's not rap really don't she really like stands to be the benefactor of like that sort of category of Lauryn Hill going forward even though she's sexy too She'd be half naked and shit.

1:45:53That's true. She does that more than. She looks good as fuck. She looks good as hell for sure. So why do. Why are women so. Why are women who support hip hop so into the sexual shit. Is it because that's like control for them. But you can say that about pop. Like the girl pop shit too. Like Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift. They're all very much like, you know, hot chicks. I think at least from the perspective of like women, you know, we might not name them as like our favorite babes, but they're all pretty hot, you know, and it's like. You know, I think somebody like Chapel Rhone, like, feels kind of like maybe her not being as attractive kind of like throttles her success in some way with women.

1:46:30I feel like, you know, I feel like women want hot women just as much as we do, even though it makes no fucking sense. No, they would say it's because society is set up, you know, led by men. So obviously the standards and all the practices on what we see is like the most desirable is probably going to be the status quo of like the society. I also think like it's so easy to be hot as a woman that any woman can become hot with like a fair amount of work. Like if you're skinny and you are willing to get fake tits and like fake hair. I mean, that's pretty much like almost any woman. Like we've seen girls go from legitimately ugly as fuck to hot in the public eye through surgery and weight loss.

1:47:15Respectfully. Glorilla is the first one that pops up. The same way that if we were all R &B singers, we could all dramatically increase our appeal by getting on testosterone and getting six-packs, right? Yeah. And getting the ab etching. But that's every woman. Every woman does that, pretty much. So when it comes to music and stuff. I mean, I don't give a fuck about us personally, like as a podcast. We got to get six-packs. We got to get fake six-packs and all go to Turkey and get our hair done. But like when it comes to women, it's just like get being hot is like not that. Like every woman is like basically trying to like beauty maximize their whole life.

1:47:55Right. As opposed to most of us have done nearly nothing. Besides like because most people don't care about how we look. But women, that's going to be the first thing that everyone cares about you. You know what I'm saying? So they got to. Interesting. They're sick. I can't believe what happened to this. But that's so much weed that you just wasted. I wrote it all fucked up. You can't roll blood. He shaved that weed. It's like a half a butt right there. Bro, he's balling. He came in here and said, I got more. You need weed, Moose? I got you. Where are you going to get money from? Oh, my God. He just came with a pack.

1:48:25Whoa, big pack. That came in. I'll roll one. I'm not even saying, oh, we got to get higher. I'm just saying. No, it's all good. You seem very comfortable financially. Sometimes I wonder what you guys want. I mean, I've worked hard. I've saved some money here and there. I mean, I ain't up, up, but I'm working towards it. Okay. You see them brand new mid-forces on there? Come on. You pay me a little something, man. You throw me a couple dollars, man. That's funny. Look at this. They call this the Unk Cast. Cantaloupe Kush. Shout out to all my melons. I need to get a platinum card at Burlington Co-Factory, man.

1:49:01I'm the don of that shit. I've called it for ages. I'm no fat drip. You know what I'm saying? As a fellow fat boy, it's Burlington. So they have fat guy clothes. It goes up to like 6X at Burlington. I remember that. Where I grew up, like within biking distance, Burlington Coat Factory was pretty much like the only spot to get clothes. So I'm intimately familiar with their game. And just being a big dude that's dealt with different layers of big and what it takes. At my biggest, I still was able to shop at Burlington and get like shirts and pants. The Polo Rass assassination shirt. They were there for you.

1:49:37But nobody else was. At my biggest, my waist size was 60, 60 inches. What's the most you ever weighed? 486. How much? 486. You remember, nigga? You was that big? When we did that, you let him get that big, Craig? I mean, one time I heard his stomach growling. I thought DMX was standing behind me. It was his stomach. What does it feel like to be 486? Bruh, it's heavy. How are you fucking bitches? You should have done a documentary. From the back with my stomach on their back. You lifted up? You lifted up, set it on them? I did, oh yeah. It's like a problematic viewpoint, but like, when I see a 500 pound guy walking on the street i pretty much just sit there just repulsed i thought you would have looked at me just like what is wrong with you how did you do it's and the the the comparison is like how you feel when you see like a dude strung out on fucking fent on the corner that's what you compare it to i would say it's equally self-destructive yeah i saw somebody walking out of mcdonald's today and they were huge and it looked like they're out of but i just got us walking out and i felt kind of bad being 300 pounds is not fentanyl junkie level but being but being 500 pounds is like oh you have so little self-control that you have done something to yourself that is going to dramatically shorten your lifespan by decades and your quality of life is going to be dog shit and i know it's wrong to feel that way and judgmental or whatever like but that's how i feel and i'm not talking about you right now Right now, obviously, you are less hideous than you were at a certain time.

1:51:10Less hideous. You have decreased your hideousness factor, but you remain hideous. But what I'm saying is how a person can get up to that weight is if people are emotionally eating their feelings, man. Because, you know what I'm saying, it's never enough. I'm not denying you that. So that's where it can come from. A lot of times it can be more emotional based. You know what I'm saying? And then you can just deal with the tricky stuff. like once I got the weight loss surgery then I still was addicted to something then it went to alcohol which is why I'm celebrating 23 days now so it's just but that same exact thing to the fentanyl addict is you look at him and you think you could if you sat there and thought about him long enough and got past how disgusting and hideous his lifestyle is you would probably think damn that motherfucker probably came from some terribly dramatic situation that caused him to get into that although obviously we also know that that's not true and plenty of bums and junkies are coming from like pretty decent but that's what we would assume through like soft white underbelly interviews it's like usually most of these people have horrible lives and that's why they're like on skid row and stuff so yeah but i know like the son of a billionaire who was a fucking heroin addict for a while there used to hang out then the girl that voiced stitch and lilo and stitch she died of aids on skid row and she was like 16 or 18 and she was on drugs since she was 13 they said and she was like famous she did a bunch of movies and ended up on drugs That's fucked up, man.

1:52:34That's crazy. That's some wild shit. I just fucked up a girl on Pug Talk who's from Finland, and she was talking to me about how she just went and drove around all through Skid Row just to get a taste of what was going on down there. I'm like, you didn't roll the windows down, right? She's like, no. I'm like, the smell. They'll jump through it. The smell. That was the point that I was going to make, too. I forgot it, but then I remembered it. So the difficult part about food and people that suffer with, like, body dysmorphia or just, like, food addiction is that with drugs and alcohol and other substances, anybody could not do that.

1:53:06If you don't want to do snow, you don't got to do snow. If you don't want to do weed, you don't have to do weed. That is a decision that you can make. Everybody got to eat. So uncoded to call it snow.

1:53:20You're talking about whipped cream. But you got to eat. You got to eat. And they set up life to where you eat at every occasion. You eat when stuff is good. You eat when it's bad. you eat at celebrations, you eat at death. You can't have an event without food. And you know how hard it was. We started a weight loss competition and then acted like we never did it. I like that we did that. Still struggling with that. Till this day. That's a point of shame for me. Whenever I get sober, I gain weight. So I didn't gain like seven pounds. I'm like, fuck. Fuck. But, you know, sometimes you got to pick your poison.

1:53:56Like, I'd rather be sober and more dialed in than 486 how did you keep drinking again how did you keep water in the bathtub at 486 I couldn't take bath the bathtub is like a bowl he fills it up this much and then lays it and it goes to the top you know what one of my favorite things to do as a kid was ride roller coasters I ain't been able to ride one for 25 years because I'm too big still no way I gotta get down to like 250 I hate roller coasters that should be like a whole YouTube you know I'm saying I want to go to Six Flags I'm gonna lose weight until I can I really want to do it man So why did you get off the Ozempic?

1:54:30It felt like that was probably like the code, right? I was forgetting the eating shit. Like I was getting a case of the shits real bad. I feel like you got to take less. That was the 15 pounds of shit coming out of you. You got to have that. Everybody has it. Everybody does have it. Yep, everybody has it. But yeah, I just think it's a slippery slope when you can get fat off of eating your fillings because it's just like, you know. See, I'm thinking dental fillings. I'm like, that's some fucking, that's a crazy diet. Making it out with a toothpick. What does a skinny person that doesn't eat their feelings do when you are sad or have feelings?

1:55:03Smoked weed. Okay. You know? Jerk off. Yeah. Jerk off for 13 hours like Terry Crews. He said he jerked off for 13 hours. He was addicted. He used to get off work at 10 a.m. and jerk off until like 1 in the morning. We all been. He's a weirdo. That's insane. Bro, I would have never even known that was possible as a young man. I'm glad that nobody ever introduced me to the idea of gooning. Yeah. Because. Marathon. I loved to beat off as a teenager, but never did it even cross my mind to do it more than maybe max twice in a day. Never even occurred to me. Oh, those are rookie numbers. Come on. The marathon continues.

1:55:40I never did it. You ever heard that? No, that is what that refers to, for sure. What's the most time you guys have ever jacked off in one day and ejaculated? Probably four times. As a teenager. Yeah, as a teenager. Four or five. That's crazy. That's a lot. I never did that. Five, six. Five, six. Yeah. He said he beat off for 13 hours. I know. That's crazy. But have you guys ever, like, not been able to find the right video? Maybe it was that type of thing. Maybe he was just searching. We got too many options now. There's way too many options. You sit there for 30 minutes looking for the perfect set.

1:56:14It's on page, like, 19 ,000. Like, it has to be in here somewhere. Maybe that's telling him something, is that you got to switch out of the girls section, go to the guys. I bet you'll not like that, Terry. I'm sorry, man. I feel like that's all that's all that's autism bro it has to be I think that's chalked up to autism masturbation addiction how do you keep your dick hard for 13 hours never have I even considered in my life I feel like that would be hard no pun intended a special feather I just feel like you'll be chafing at some point sign your contract for a while there I was going to bang 100 girls in a day.

1:56:57What? Like a stream. Adam Blue. Just a couple strokes in one, a couple strokes in the other one. You know, hit them each for like five minutes or something. Just do like a long ass stream like that. And like, I just, I don't know. It feels like maybe I shouldn't do that with my life. You should eat them all out too. Oh, God. I don't think you can get past 10. That's a lot to be doing, 100. You're not going to pound. It's not like I'm fiending for this experience. It's like, no, I'd be doing it. What about just do 20? 20's cool. Do a 20v1. Nobody can give a fuck about 20. 20's stupid. If Bonnie Blue did 20, nobody would give a fuck.

1:57:34No, 20v1 where you just fuck them all, that is kind of a good idea. I'm not going to lie. That's what I'm saying. For sure, when you fuck 100 girls, if you DM 100 girls, you fuck 100 girls, you got to do a 20 versus 1 or five 20 versus 1s with that. For sure. really I feel like every important time in a person's life should be marked by a 20 versus 1 like you should do one at your wedding at your graduation at a funeral you should always pop the balloon at the funeral 20 versus 1 meet me and all my family members at a funeral trying to figure out who I'm going to have to have sex with could you fuck in front of a dead body like they put a dead body in the bed sure no I could fuck in front of a dead body I mean, would I choose to?

1:58:23No, I would probably address the dead body. At least roll it off the bed. But I think I could. Why is the dead body there? Yeah, did I kill them? How long has the dead body been there? Is it stinking? Because they'll decompose at some point. It's not stinking. It's cold, though. Oh, okay. It's cold. You got like at least eight hours before. You watching they soul leave they body? Nah. I'll put it like this. If the dog shit on the ground, I wouldn't be able to have sex. Right. I'd have to clean up the dog shit. Right, right. A body is way worse. So unless you're like incentivizing me in some way, like, Hey, if you could fuck next to this dead body, I'm going to give you a hundred grand.

1:58:55You could do it. But a body doesn't stink right away. It's going to take like a couple of days. And even if it stinks, it's like, I'm still going to be able to like, no, like that's a simulation of having sex. It's not that good. You got a nut on a dead body. Oh, I have to. I was just going to do it anyway. No, I can't do that shit. You can't do it. You're not meant for the porn game. I'm not meant for that. That's how you get in. That's a lot going on. Did you know that our No Jumper relationship started with him being like deeply offended that I refused to hear him out about his plan to do porn?

1:59:26Adam called it carny porn. He didn't even help me out, man. I think that was like his introduction to me being a callous fuckhead who was not willing to like pander to your feelings was him realizing that I wasn't willing to take him seriously in his dreams. You got to have a clap monitor when he fucks to dole down all the clapping from his body. if Doughboy ass clap in Porto ass clap, stomach clap, lower back clap I'm going to get in good shape and then take that industry over I'm telling you watch I'm going to get down to 225 if Adam got you a bitch you don't just have to lose weight you have to get everything sewed up and even then the extra skin's got to get taken care of you need to get on testosterone tomorrow that's what we should do for the Spoddy fight just get you on a bunch of gear just a bunch of roids and you just come in like the russian and rocky and just pack them out oh you guys are still gonna fight yeah he's still he's still i ain't ducking shit you heard processing that you heard him you heard we gotta get down check the mathematics i'm ready with it like you know i'm saying porn doesn't pay like it used to is it even worth it everybody's losing money in the porn well the companies are fucked up but the OnlyFans is like better for most girls I think than what they were getting from the companies you know.

2:00:45It's like an independent girl. I think it's a better time to be a porn star as a random girl now. If you really want to, you gotta up the risk. Go to Nigeria and film yourself fucking Nigerian prostitutes without a condo. They have to get it tested. No, don't test them. This is the part that makes it I feel like that is a brilliant idea. Bro, go there. You just don't show the testing. You just make it seem like you just for sure yeah no that's a cool idea yeah that's how brian pumper got canceled though he was faking tests well oh he actually had some shit well i don't think he like necessarily had shit but he would like meet a girl fuck her on a friday take her to the clinic to get tested for scd saturday oh which i respect but that's why he got canceled i was watching a matt and shane episode and they were talking about you your connection to brian pumper and you and you were interviewing another porn star who was talking about how Brian Pumper put him on and they were discussing that.

2:01:43That was pretty funny. It was Nat Turner. That's your boy, Brian Pumper. I was shocked by that. I've never met him. I don't think I've spoke to him. I think I've spoke to fake accounts pretending to be him. I made a documentary about him that I think got over a million views. For sure, it's pretty much like the bane of his existence that this documentary is out there that makes him seem like a real weirdo. That's probably why he hates you. He's been free for probably like... He went to jail. He was locked up for maybe five years. We don't really know what for. I think that the charges in the system were of a sexual nature, I think.

2:02:17But now he's free. Seemingly, I don't want to say homeless, but like approaching homeless. Like he's at the bus stop. He's outside walking around with a duffel bag and he's at the bus stop a lot. i would assume that maybe his like court ordered probation says that he can't do porn or something maybe because otherwise like why wouldn't he how do you stop somebody from fucking like well i mean you could just say like hey you can't have an only fans or something which i you know if he had fucked up charges which i'm not 100 sure on that but like that were related to that industry you know like you can't work in that industry because it just seems like for him you know we're in the golden age of being an independent porn star why the fuck would he not have like he could probably make bare minimum $10 ,000 a month if he started to OnlyFans right and like what would be holding him back unless he got AIDS or some shit or he can't have an OnlyFans account or maybe he's just such a J-cat at this point that he's just not capable of even getting his shit in order because he seems kind of just sick in the head but you said he was also like kind of banned from the industry from the industry yes but that's what i'm saying like you don't need the industry you could just do independent just find random girls random girls these girls are gonna fuck brian pumper just for the meme of it you know probably all of them ecuador is some shit yeah but they all do it like they'll actually like all do it like he's like you know probably 80 percent of the girls out there would do content with brian pumper if he was viral which is kind of an indictment come back to the game brian pumper if you're able the game needs you bring the eggs back hey do we got the list of the other topics that we had on there we have a few more you seem kind of doped up today I'm not gonna lie what do you feel like you're like extra medicated today so they got me on you wanna know yeah well be you trend I'm fucking Abilify, Trazodone.

2:04:19That's how you prevent a tragedy. Now, Vex-Tate. That helps with alcohol withdrawals. What the fuck? So, yeah. I apologize if I'm a little... No, that's good. I used to give out a lot of Trazodone at my job. Your eyes are like close. Working in the pharmacy. Yeah. I mean, smoking a lot of weed, too. We're smoking before the pod. But no, they just, you know, that's the one thing that, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just, that's the reason why I go back and forth and want to be on this shit. because sometimes they just have you feeling like lights on nobody's home. It's just like your energy just kind of spikes.

2:04:46Sometimes I just want to get tired. Couldn't you be on like one thing and not like a combo of four things? That's a lot of shit. Well, the Wellbutin was for it. They said I was depressed. Yeah. And then the bilifiers for the bipolar shit told us to keep the mood stabilized. And then the Nalvex Trace so I don't drink. That helps with cravings. And then the Trazodones will help me go to sleep. Shit, I used to be on Seroquel. Bro, that shit was like a horse trickle. I used to give that out a lot, too, when I worked at the pharmacy. And that shit makes you gain weight, so now I'm just eating everything that ain't nailed to the floor, bro.

2:05:20I've been, man. You gain like a quick 20 as soon as you get this stuff. Bro, I've been eating shit. Adams? Adams. Yeah, I know. I see that. I just fucking wanted to call attention to it. Yeah, but, you know, I just, you know, go through it. I think as I'm starting to work out more, getting ready for this fight, my energy should be better, so, yeah. Are you going to be medicated during the fight? yeah I'm not getting off that shit doesn't it affect your ability to exercise nah it just makes you feel just just groggy all the time just like this it feels like that would be pretty bad I've seen Adrian Broner saying that like when it comes to boxing dudes don't really smoke weed because it's fucking really bad for your reaction time a lot of the UFC fighters are on that shit all the UFC fighters be smoking weed that is a good point but anyway AB said that I feel like probably you could say the same thing about the anti-presence for sure.

2:06:13Right, but yeah. I had added some shit. It was Dick Van Dyke, David Attenborough, and now Mel Brooks all turned 100 and are still actively working. If y 'all make it to 100, are you still going to be doing comedy, podcasts, interviews? Fuck no, 100. And people are still looking for you to do it. David Attenborough is still narrating all the fucking National Geographic documentaries. I'm going to the wheels fall off, man. Doing what I love. As long as I can do it at a high level, why not? What else am I going to do? Just sit there and be old? That's what it seems like. They're able-bodied. Health permits it.

2:06:47You're healthy. You're good. If it made sense. Right, right, right. Because, I mean, are you going to do it until you're dead in the ground and you're not making any money? I mean, I feel like at a certain point, the game's just going to tell you when you need to bow out. I get that. But now we got three guys that are 100 and still getting fucking booked for shit, which is crazy. Yeah. I feel like it's probably a lot different once you're 100. I mean, think about most of the 80 or 90-year-old dudes that you know, and then imagine them doing a podcast. Think about how many dogs you've owned in your life at 100.

2:07:23I'm sounding like my first round of dogs right now. Yeah. I mean, you could have at least 10, you know, 20 dogs. You've watched the species evolve, like, and become a whole different dog. You know what I mean? That's crazy. 100 years man i hope i'm working at 100 years your dad was in world war one right it's like i think a lot of people are optimistic about what they're going to be capable of doing that late in life right and i want to know is that like do y 'all think that's jeans because none of those guys when i was looking at them like they're not all super skinny and in shape they're just kind of look like regular guys and they're 100 and doing it up like is that just jeans or like do you think like it's just kind of random do you should we just live however and it just doesn't matter i think i think it's a lot as well i think it's a lot of luck bro you know i mean because there's probably a lot of people that were capable of living to 100 that died in world war ii you know what i'm saying a lot of luck so you know i mean but and i think it's mindset jews have extra long life powers because i agree yeah they're doing something there's a there's some scientists or island somewhere and they're doing things to make sure that you know certain people live a lot longer i think so you should go fight this eyelid yeah it's hard though because jewish people once they turn like 65 they look 100 so it's kind of hard to tell you know that dude ryan johnson said that he thinks that like we now are post death like now you're you're so capable of being so healthy that he doesn't feel like he's gonna have to die what does that even like what's telling him that what do you think still i don't know it's just like but i do feel like lifespans are probably going to be capable of being dramatically uh lengthened as we go by and through time but i don't know how much like people are gonna want to do that like most people who are like a hundred fucking want to die do yeah for sure yeah all the hundred year old people i've ever seen they're always just kind of chilling and not really talking much maybe they have a walker they're probably in a wheelchair right you know it's it's usually not pretty right smoking crack but hopefully by the time we're 100 you can get like robot legs robot dick just going crazy live life yeah fuck just live live with my robot i got my robot dick man clive davis you guys talk about that clive davis guy clive davis did die uh rest in peace yeah peace man he did a lot of positive things.

2:09:51I love General Doughboy. What's the Illuminati gonna do now? That don't exist. They say he's the head of it. Ain't no Illuminati man. Urban legend. You don't know. It's because we ain't let you in yet. Alright. I'm good. You guys good? I'm good man. Doughboy about to take a nap right here. Shout out Moose Man. Shout out Craig Smith. Shout out Doughboy. We had a contact. Y 'all got me. Oh, did we get any donos? Let me address that. Yeah, read the donos. Any what? Yo, go check out my YouTube, Moose Man 916. I'm almost to 2 ,000 subs. Thank you, guys. Love you guys. Adam, please replace Doughboy with Craig on behalf of the community.

2:10:34Damn, why can't we both be here? You regret requesting the donations now? There could only be one license. Jay Chase and Baggs said, part two worth nine months guaranteed. I don't even know what the fuck it means, but shout out to him. Big Mike says shout out to Zen Moose Zeus if you will the homies up next Lush the goat Dogway I just don't know if this is for you gang keep it gangsta chat damn fam I've been on a Zen tip where I don't respond to negativity Dragonite Gormax Good Goy 22 did you know one of the dancing Jews of 9-11 said in an interview that they were only warning the Jew underground in the tunnels.

2:11:20Stop noticing. I've heard that conspiracy. Very thankful to take money to read such a theory. Wave Gretzky said, this pod went from a way large journey to begging for donations towards the four hosts mastectomies. What is a mastectomy? I was just about to say that. I think it's a, some of your boobs or something. Yo, you know what I did a deep dive on recently? What? there's this uh this fan theory that the jetsons and the flintstones happened at the same time and that like the jetsons was like that's that world ended up getting destroyed and so then the same people without the flintstones and that's why like that's why they knew certain stuff that they couldn't have known like they had like tvs and phones and shit so they knew a bunch of shit from like the civilization from the past but it was a reset but it was a reset but it was happening in a parallel universe at the same time.

2:12:11It's a cool little deep dive, so you all should look it up. That's crazy. We love you, Chad. This has been the Monday show, man. I love y 'all, man. I wanna hear what people think about. Shout out to Craig Smith, man, Doughboy, Adam22. No, Jumper, you know what it is. It's Doughboy, man.