In short
Podcast Episode Summary: Little Fish: Full Body Botox
Podcast Title
No Such Thing As A Fish
- Description: A show where four hosts discuss amazing facts they've learned over the last week.
- Hosts: Dan Schreiber, James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Ptaszynski.
Episode Details
- Episode Title: Little Fish: Full Body Botox
- Episode Description: Dan, James, and Andy discuss audience-submitted facts, including topics on geese, the Kentucky Derby, almonds, and Grace Kelly. They also introduce new "Friend of the Podcast" fact custodians.
Episode Highlights
Introduction
- The hosts welcome listeners to their weekly audience fact show and prepare to discuss audience-submitted facts.
Audience Facts Discussion
- China's Guard Geese
- Fact: China hired 500 geese to guard its border with Vietnam during the pandemic to prevent illegal crossings.
- Discussion:
- Geese are efficient as guards due to their territorial nature.
- Historical use of geese as guards dating back to the Romans.
- Humorous anecdotes about robbing police stations while dressed as officers to bypass guard geese.
- Kentucky Derby Fact
- Fact: The winner of the 1896 Kentucky Derby actually came in seventh due to post-race disqualifications.
- Discussion:
- The horse's name was "The Winner."
- A series of amusing horse names from different Kentucky Derby years.
- Almond Extract Composition
- Fact: Almond extract is primarily made from peaches, not almonds.
- Discussion:
- The biology of almond and peach stones and their relation to flavor compounds.
- Avocado Preparation
- Fact: There’s a simpler method to remove avocado stones by pushing from the back.
- Discussion:
- Anecdotes about preparation methods and their humorous outcomes.
- Regatta Roulette
- Fact: In St. John's, Newfoundland, a holiday is contingent on nice weather for the Royal St. John's Regatta.
- Discussion:
- The tradition of "regatta roulette" where locals party the night before, hoping for a day off.
- Martha Stewart's Overstay Tactic
- Fact: Martha Stewart tells guests who overstayed, "I'm going to bed, I'll see you," suggesting they turn off the lights.
- Discussion:
- The credibility of Martha Stewart's outlandish claims, including being struck by lightning.
- Medical Use of Salmon Sperm
- Fact: Doctors use salmon sperm (protamine) to stop bleeding after heart surgery.
- Discussion:
- The scientific basis for this and humorous takes on medical practices.
- Full Body Botox
- Discussion: The ethics of claiming Botox as a business expense and the absurdity of being a "living statue" with Botox.
New Friend of the Podcast Introductions
- The hosts introduce eight new "Friends of the Podcast," sharing their unique facts, including:
- Jennifer Stankati: Fact about Halloween's original date.
- Jeff Spencer: Medieval witches and broomsticks.
- Elaine Teenan: A climber who fears heights.
Key Takeaways
- The episode showcases the humorous dynamics among the hosts while discussing intriguing facts.
- Facts are often tied to history, science, and personal anecdotes, making for a lively discussion.
- The humor in the conversations highlights the absurdity of some topics while educating the audience.
Conclusion The episode blends educational content with humor, featuring a variety of surprising facts that spark engaging discussions among the hosts. The light-hearted nature and amusing interactions exemplify the charm of "No Such Thing As A Fish."
Next Episode Teaser: The hosts mention they will return with another "big fish" episode in a few days.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOGeese as Guards
1:01 to 1:42
Discover how China uses geese as border guards and their efficiency compared to dogs.
“This is from Stephen Corcoran, and his fact is China defends its border partly with geese.”
The Kentucky Derby Mystery
1:42 to 3:38
Explore the surprising fact about the 1896 Kentucky Derby winner and horse names.
“There's been examples in Brazil where they have used them in place of dogs because they have incredible eyesight.”
Almond Extract Origins
3:38 to 6:05
Learn about the surprising ingredients in almond extract and its origins.
“The world's oldest lady, Jean Calmon, actually had all of the Olympic medals from 1896 by the end.”
Avocado Stone Facts
6:05 to 8:31
Uncover the fascinating history of avocados and their propagation.
“Yep Oh, but they're members of the almond family, aren't they?”
Henley Regatta History
8:31 to 12:30
Explore the intriguing history of the Henley Regatta and its notable figures.
“So when you're caught squatting in the park, you're just doing some farming.”
Tax Deductions for Professionals
12:30 to 14:01
Understand the peculiarities of tax deductions for barristers and performers.
Podcasting and Awkward Hats
14:01 to 14:48
Discussion about the absurdity of wearing hats in podcasting and their implications.
The Case of Gemma vs HMRC
14:49 to 15:35
Exploration of a unique tax case involving an exotic dancer and allowable expenses.
“botox if i wasn't on tv so it is because of that but in actual fact you get an advantage in your home life as well.”
Martha Stewart's Wild Claims
15:36 to 18:10
A humorous analysis of unbelievable stories and claims made by Martha Stewart.
“I don't know how he got up on that pedestal.”
Consequences of Celebrity Legal Issues
18:11 to 19:39
Discussion on the repercussions of Martha Stewart's legal troubles and their effects on her career.
“she was unable to participate in the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta in Windsor, Nova Scotia.”
Show all 17 chapters
Doctors and Unusual Treatments
19:40 to 20:48
An exploration of the surprising use of salmon sperm in medical treatments.
“Jan Goodens says to stop patients from bleeding to death after heart surgery, doctors inject them with salmon sperm.”
Halloween's Historical Context
21:07 to 22:48
Discussion about the origins of Halloween and its evolution over time.
“He was well dead by 835 AD Yes, yes, you're right But he was inventing new months and mucking around So I think he might have started this whole process Do you remember what it was?”
Medieval Witches and Hallucinogens
22:49 to 24:11
Humorous exploration of the myth involving witches and hallucinogenic drugs.
“It's scary I'm going dressed as a sexy mosquito This year Lovely, great fact Okay, this one is going out To Jeff Spencer Jeff, your fact is medieval witches used broomsticks to put hallucinogenic drugs up their bums.”
Surprising Facts About Everest Climbers
24:12 to 26:00
Discussion about the quirks and facts regarding climbers of Mount Everest.
“And now if you were that height, you wouldn't be able to reach the lockers.”
Steven Seagal's Unusual Claims
26:01 to 27:58
A humorous take on the bizarre claims surrounding Steven Seagal and his actions.
“You had to be under 5 '2 for the first flights, I thought.”
Viking Names and Comedic Facts
28:00 to 29:20
Discover quirky Viking names and the humor surrounding them.
“This is a fact that is now under the custodianship of Aaron I, Officer.”
Book Festival and Audience Interaction
29:20 to 30:32
Learn about a book festival event and listener engagement.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Andy Williams:The sun's shining, birds are singing, and all feels right in the world.
0:05Dan Schreiber:Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year. At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all.
0:21Andy Williams:Because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round.
0:26Dan Schreiber:Please visit MentallyHealthyNation.org to learn more.
0:43Dan Schreiber:Hi everybody, welcome to Little Fish. This is our weekly audience fact show. We've done all of our facts. We've run out. And while we wait and think of some more, you've sent some in to podcast.qi.com. My name is Andrew Hunter-Murray. I'm here with James Harkin and Dan Schreiber. Let's get into it.
1:00James Harkin:Who's got an audience fact? Shall I open with one? Here we go. This is from Stephen Corcoran, and his fact is China defends its border partly with geese. Okay, that's good. Yeah, so this is a pandemic thing. China's border with Vietnam, they were worried that people with COVID were going to come in through the border illegally, and so they hired a gaggle of geese, 500 of them, to stand guard and honk and bite at anyone who was coming They don't bite, they have teeth. Well, they've probably got a strong snap on their own. They've got a nasty nip on them, though. Yeah, exactly. The Romans used guard geese.
1:35James Harkin:Well, this is the thing, guard geese. They're apparently way more efficient than most animals that we would use, like a guard dog. Police often use them in their stations. No. They do. They do. There's been examples in Brazil where they have used them in place of dogs because they have incredible eyesight. They have incredible hearing. They're extraordinarily territorial. therefore if a stranger comes in they immediately sound the alarm unlike a dog who might you know if you're a burglar and you come in with a big old steak and you throw the steak they get distracted with it right you know the classic way what if you throw a golden egg or something or something that distracts a goose that's true well that's the thing because there's a question of how come then they don't sound the alarm if a police officer comes in they say well they recognize
2:17Andy Williams:the outfits and they see them all the police dress as geese yeah yes but that's the thing
2:24James Harkin:if you're going to rob a police station, which is ballsy anyway. Yeah, they don't keep large amounts of cash in there normally. No, but they do keep a lot of confiscated items that they've taken. So someone tried to break in to repossess their motorbike that was in there. So dress as a police officer though and you'll get past the geese.
2:39Andy Williams:Yeah, so can they recognize the police then? That's supposedly what they can. The geese police. Have they ever been used in warfare? Geese. Oh, great question. Good question. I imagine they have as guards. We did a question on QI, which is what use is a goose for the g-series and i remember we we talked about the guard geese and also that rabelais said you could wipe your bum with a goose's neck of course well that's brilliant okay shall i do one yeah yeah this is from jeff kennedy and jeff says that in the 1896 kentucky derby horse race the winner came in seventh place riddle me this
3:16James Harkin:Okay, so it has to be a post-match six disqualifications for whatever. Six deaths.
3:24Dan Schreiber:Six horses died after the race.
3:27James Harkin:Yeah, but you still win. They don't take an Olympian's gold medal back if they've died years later. Well, he's gone now. Who's remaining? You're now first. Okay.
3:38Andy Williams:The world's oldest lady, Jean Calmon, actually had all of the Olympic medals from 1896 by the end. Okay.
3:46Dan Schreiber:Okay. Well done, Sinestro, then. Disqualifications.
3:51Andy Williams:Yeah, there must have been, you know, dope. I'm afraid, dopes, you are wrong. The answer is, the winner was the name of the horse. The winner was the name? He was called the winner. Oh. And he came seven. Anyway, so I've read through every single competitor in every single Kentucky Derby since they began in the mid-19th century. Wonderful. The 17th place horse in the 2016 Kentucky Derby was Oscar nominated. Is that the name? Yeah. Okay, great. The winner in 1999 was Charismatic. Sixth place in 1914 was Surprising. Surprising was the name of the horse. The ninth place horse in 2021 was Highly Motivated.
4:36Andy Williams:Doesn't sound like it. And the fifth place horse in 1971 was Unconscious. wild horses came last in the kentucky derby in 2002 and once again came third in 1889 once again is the name of the horse don't get mad was the name of the horse that came forth in 2005
4:58James Harkin:oh my god you've invented your own who's on first sketch i'm a wild and crazy guy
5:03Dan Schreiber:came forth in 2007 james this is your palladium show you have to tour the country with this it's Just a good hour of comedy You've got there Amazing
5:16Andy Williams:That's it, that's my whole week So when we do the show later, the actual show I have no research I can't tell if this Oh that's stunning
5:29Dan Schreiber:Alright Shall I do one? This is a fact from Harry and Charlotte A joint fact
5:37Andy Williams:Pretty cool Well I think one of them will have taken the lead Probably And the other one's just going on a bit of a ride
5:43Dan Schreiber:In fact it begins with My wife told me a fact So here's the fact What is almond extract made of? Is it almonds? It's not almonds Is it Mark Almond? From Soft Cell It's Mark Almond Very very little almond extract is made with actual almonds Is that true? It's crazy, it's made of peaches Peaches? Yep
6:05Andy Williams:Oh, but they're members of the almond family, aren't they? Or is it the way round almonds are part of the peach family?
6:11Dan Schreiber:Well, basically, there's a stone in a peach. Yeah. And inside that stone, there is a thing that looks like an almond. And apparently that's what they use to make almond extract rather than actual almonds, says Harry. And I have some almond stuff in my home and I looked at it and it says bitter almond oil, the vast majority of which comes from peaches and other fruits that are not almonds. But they have a bitter almond in it.
6:32Andy Williams:A bitter almond. No. Very good Should have quit on the horse race
6:37Dan Schreiber:Yeah, basically almonds all start as a fruit And so the thing which we think of as an almond nut Is the seed of it But actually, all droop seeds This droop family of fruits Which are flesh on the outside And then a single pit inside Which has a seed All droop seeds contain this chemical Bansaldehyde Which is for almond extract Tastes like Coleman's Very cool
7:00James Harkin:I discovered the other day That rather than having to dig out the stone of an avocado. Oh, no. You just push it from the other side. Oh, right. It just comes right out. No, you don't. You swallow it whole.
7:12Andy Williams:Well, no, there was a trend a while ago that you would hold the half of avocado in your palm. Yeah. And then you would get a big knife and you would sort of smack the big stone with the knife and then the knife would embed into the stone. You twist it and pull it out. All right. Pretty cool. I think it was before TikTok, but it was an internet trend. But like people said, you shouldn't do it because people are going to A &E, having missed the avocado. Yeah.
7:37James Harkin:Andy, pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty. It is pretty cool. I mean, it would look pretty cool. Yeah. You're right. Well, it turns out it's really simple. You just pop it out. Yeah, that's how I do it. Pop it out. I've never knew that. I've always been digging away like an archaeologist. You guys are not eating bits of the avocado?
7:53Dan Schreiber:The stone? The stone, yeah. And the skin. The yummiest bit. Give that a miss, usually. After the skin, of course. Well, if you've never had it,
7:59Andy Williams:it's like an everlasting middle-class gobstopper. You know, you just... Right. Do you know that story that there was like megafauna in South America that was eating the avocados and then pooing out the stones? And we know they must have existed because avocados existed and they must have been propagated somehow. And there was no humans to plant them. So we know that this megafauna existed. So they were the farmers. They were the farmers. Yeah, essentially. But now we know that Andy's eating the stones and presumably pooing them out as well. You are the megafauna of the 21st century. It's a struggle sometimes.
8:33James Harkin:So when you're caught squatting in the park, you're just doing some farming. Anyone got a goose? Let's have another. Let's have another. Okay, this is from Jennifer Rowley. She says, I listened, I recently listened to the Little Fish episode where you talked about the Henley on Todd regatta in Australia. So this is the one where it's dry and it was cooled off because it rained and so it flooded. So it's like a dry river, isn't it? It's a dry river.
9:04Dan Schreiber:You run around in the bottom of it.
9:05James Harkin:Exactly. And it got called off because of water, basically. And it reminded me of another weather-related regatta fact that you might like. So the Canadian city of St. John's in Newfoundland and Labrador has a public holiday that only happens if the weather is nice. Regatta Day is the day of the Royal St. John's Regatta, which is scheduled for the first Wednesday in August. However, if the weather isn't good enough for rowing, then the regatta has to be postponed. And if it's postponed, the public holiday itself is cancelled. So this has led to a tradition called regatta roulette, where people stay out late partying the night before, gambling that they will have the next day off work.
9:46James Harkin:That's funny. Yeah, they love the regattas, by the way. That's really good. In Canada, there's the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta. That's where everyone hollows out a giant pumpkin. We've spoken about that. We have spoken about it. Like 10 years ago, we spoke about it. That's right. It's very exciting. Someone did the record largest pumpkin, I believe it was, that we spoke about. By the way, this is about a 200-year-old festival, this regatta. So as far as I can tell, COVID obviously knocked it out, but that doesn't really count because that knocked out everything. So 1940, it seems to be the last time that they actually had to sort of lose the regatta roulette.
10:20James Harkin:Because of the weather? No, the war.
10:23Andy Williams:Oh, so does that mean since then it's always been sunny enough yeah that's nice yeah so apparently the roulette is not that risky oh
10:31James Harkin:i'd play roulette with those odds yeah exactly could be wrong because like in the uk if you have any holiday it's guaranteed to be pissing it down yeah that's the way it works um i got i found a really interesting regatta story about the henley regatta can i quickly tell you yeah
10:46Andy Williams:let's see if this works sorry can i just say is this the henley henley on thames or henley in
Read the full transcript
10:52James Harkin:penly on thames in the uk so um there used to be a guy called john brendan kelly and he applied to be part of the regatta he was an american and it's it's quite a posh event the regatta and he wasn't allowed in despite being a multi-millionaire in america because he was a bricklayer that was seen as a labor job and he was not allowed to compete in it yeah so this really infuriated him and so he decided to enter the olympics uh to row and he won gold in fact he won it three times the first time first person to win a triple uh goal and was it all due to the pent-up anger he must have had a bit of fury to to make a point uh to them um and so you know they they were very apologetic and things changed for him he was allowed to be part of why rules is rules
11:40Andy Williams:well yeah but you can bend the rules when you have a three-time olympian yeah i suppose yeah It's like Steve Redgrave's allowed to wear trainers in a Ritzian Bolton.
11:54James Harkin:So he was this bricklayer, even though he was rich, and then you had this kind of royal regatta, which felt quite posh. Anyway, he has a few kids. One of them is called Grace. Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly becomes an actress and then goes on to become Princess Grace of Monaco. So he is the father of Princess Grace Interesting And as a kind of way of saying sorry If you now go to the regatta in Henley There is a Princess Grace challenge cup As a way of apologising So he went from being not allowed to compete To now having his daughter be the name Of one of the regatta
12:31Dan Schreiber:Interesting Shove that in your boats
12:37Andy Williams:Okay Here is a fact from Pav And Pav wanted to share A fun UK tax fact and as a former accountant i think andy you thought i might be interested in this uh pav writes that the 1982 case of maya leu versus drummond established that while barristers are allowed to claim costs of wigs and collars they cannot claim the cost of purchasing or cleaning suits as they fail the wholly and exclusively test because they have the dual purpose of providing warmth and decency so in like if let's say you have an expense you can only claim it as an expense if it's just for your job yeah so if it's for something else as well if you're going on holiday and you're like i'm going to do a tiktok video while i'm on holiday you can't claim that because you're also on holiday what oh dear like good joke james but it's fine right like for instance to to pull another idea out of the hat if you were to have a hair transplant you can't claim it even if you're in a front-facing podcast are you kidding me videoed you can't claim it because it's also you need that hair in real life to keep your head warm as well
13:46Dan Schreiber:right and provide decency but if i was to but my special podcasting hat that i wear every time that
13:51Andy Williams:you guys are looking at now yes but if you as long as you don't wear that when you're out clubbing
13:55Dan Schreiber:how could i wear this out this is a ridiculous hat maybe if you win three gold medals at the olympics they might let you but like this hat is so stupid that obviously it's only for podcasting
14:05Andy Williams:of this yeah yeah like i would say like the racist elements as well probably is why you wouldn't wear
14:10James Harkin:it outside yeah right it does feel awkward every time we make the pod that we have to look at that well we should make podcasting great again so there is no hat people at home in 2018 there was
14:23Andy Williams:a case called gemma versus hmrc where an exotic dancer successfully argued that the cost of her outfits and shoes should be allowable because they provide neither warmth nor decency that's great it's a great fact it's really good in fact yeah quite often the tax offices they tell you about claims that people have tried to make and whether they're allowed or not so what do you think about botox because you might say well you know i'm on tv and i wouldn't have had botox if i wasn't on tv so it is because of that but in actual fact you get an advantage in your home life as well.
14:58Dan Schreiber:What about I'm a living statue and I've had full body Botox to allow me to do my work every day? You know what I'm saying?
15:05Andy Williams:I suppose like if it has no advantage in your day-to-day life at all which I can't imagine it would.
15:11Dan Schreiber:Not at all. I've given myself full body freezing. Yeah. Just to do my work.
15:17Andy Williams:You're aware that that's not exactly how they work. What, living statues?
15:20Dan Schreiber:Yeah. Sometimes they just paint themselves silver. Yeah, but those guys are hacks.
15:28Dan Schreiber:No, the really good ones, you know, there's a guy just outside the Houses of Parliament dressed as Oliver Cromwell who's unbelievable. Every day I've gone past him for years. Pitching shits on him. Pitching shitting on him. I don't know how he got up on that pedestal. He's bloody good.
15:42James Harkin:I wonder if any living statues got thrown into the rivers during that whole period.
15:49Andy Williams:Guys, I'm a living statue of Colston, guys.
15:58James Harkin:Okay, I've got another one here. This is from Dan Paul Heskins, who says, My fact is that the lifestyle guru, Martha Stewart, says that when guests have overstayed their welcome, she tells them, I'm going to bed, I'll see you. If clueless guests stick around after that, Martha tells them, well, just turn off the lights and don't set off the fire alarm. Now, this doesn't read as true to me. I feel like Martha Stewart is someone who embellishes stories and just... I was just saying you've investigated this, Dan. Have you disproved it? No, I just don't know. I looked in to see just what other things that she said quite randomly, anecdotally, to see whether or not it's true.
16:33James Harkin:So I'll give you my findings. One is that she claims to have been struck by lightning three times. Okay. Which she said in an interview. She said, once it came out of my water faucet, I was leaning against it. We know that that's not true. That's like a government assassination attempt or something.
16:48Dan Schreiber:It is.
16:48James Harkin:She says, I was leaning against an iron sink. I saw the lightning go down the pipe out in my garden. and then it came back through the water and hit me right in the stomach, threw me on the floor, and my husband found me. I was alive, but not very comfortable. So that was one. She says that one came through the skylight in her house. And then she didn't mention in that interview the third time, but in an interview and chat with Snoop Dogg in 2016, she said another time it was while she was on the phone. Wow. Okay. Well, she's clearly pitching for the Would I Lie to You gig.
17:18Dan Schreiber:Yeah, absolutely. Or the Dan Shriver memorial anecdote. Yeah.
17:22James Harkin:Well, she also, she also, as we know, went to jail. That's kind of what she's very famous for in the States. She served time.
17:27Dan Schreiber:It's not what she's famous for.
17:28James Harkin:She's very famous for going to jail. I think that's a defining moment of her career.
17:32Dan Schreiber:She wouldn't have been famous for going to jail unless she'd already been famous for something else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's famous. The headlines would just be, random lady goes to jail. No, she was a famous person who went to jail, which amplified her
17:42James Harkin:fame globally, I would say. And she went to jail because she was charged with full counts of obstruction of justice and lying to investigators about insider trading. So she served her time, she did home arrest and so on, was very punctual to always call in if she was a minute late. Maybe that's why she was having these parties and saying, oh, I'm going to bed. It's because the ankle tag is beeping. Yes, it could be. But she has had consequences of going up to jail. One is she's not allowed to come to Britain. That's one of the consequences. The second one is that as a result of it, she was unable to participate in the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta in Windsor, Nova Scotia.
18:19Andy Williams:Okay, but did she want to?
18:21James Harkin:She did.
18:22Andy Williams:She was going.
18:24Dan Schreiber:They have really strict criteria for entry. Anyone who's been involved in insider trading is just not allowed in those pumpkins. If you've been struck by lightning twice, you're fine.
18:33James Harkin:Three strikes and you're out. Yeah. She announced her intention to be part of the regatta. She was flying over there And then there was problems with her passports And being able to get there Eventually she was allowed to make it But it wasn't in time to be part of the regatta Because there's a saying, three strikes and you're out
18:50Andy Williams:Andy, we got it She was charged four times, wasn't she? Three times by the lightning And then once by the police
19:00Dan Schreiber:What a Martha Stewart roast this episode has turned into
19:03Andy Williams:I'm staggered
19:03James Harkin:I actually quite like her
19:06Andy Williams:But you had to get us all the way to that regatta story. Yeah, yeah.
19:11Dan Schreiber:You can't leave that on the tape. Once you find it, you're like, I will drag these two across hell and high water.
19:17Andy Williams:Yeah. It's funny, because Andy, when you did your three strikes and your out joke, I was already in the frame of mind of Dan has a bit that he's trying to get to here, so I'm just going to let him get to it. I see. You should have seen we're crawling towards the finish line.
19:35James Harkin:Absolutely should have spotted it.
19:37Andy Williams:I'm juggling over here. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. Jan Goodens says to stop patients from bleeding to death after heart surgery, doctors inject them with salmon sperm. Oof. Oh. Hmm. It's a drug. It's called protamine. And it's the specific antidote to reverse heparin, which is a blood thinner. Right. And, yeah, they make it from milt, which is salmon and trout sperm. Because it's a protein. If you're in the wild.
20:05James Harkin:Can you get us? Can a doctor sort of just be? No. masturbating a salmon over you as you lay dying.
20:15Andy Williams:Is that in your night's chance? I'm just trying to work out if it would work. I think you have to isolate the protein. Okay.
20:23Dan Schreiber:You can do that inside. Your body will sort that out. It's not going to hurt. It won't make things worse. It will for the salmon.
20:34Andy Williams:Imagine the story that salmon has when it gets back to his flock.
20:39Dan Schreiber:Wait till the guys upriver just past that bear hear about this.
20:46Dan Schreiber:OK, that's enough of your facts. Now it's time for you to receive our facts. If you join our wonderful members club, Club Fish, you will not only get ab-free episodes and lots and lots of bonus material, but at the highest tier, friend of the podcast, we will give you a shout out on the show and custodianship of your very own headline fact from Fish. Let's do a few of those now. Let's have one of our ceremonies Let's have one of our ceremonies James
21:14Andy Williams:Give us a fact Just gonna take the tiny Curtain off this fact because now It belongs to Jennifer Stankati And Jennifer your fact is That until 835 AD Halloween Was on the 12th of May Mmm A spooky date It's a weird one though I don't really remember the fact I must admit but One thing about Halloween is like the nights are getting much shorter So it does have a kind of spooky feel to it Oh yeah, it's a spooky time of year The leaves are dropping May is not spooky It's lovely
21:48Dan Schreiber:Yeah, you're right This feels like probably Julius Caesar was to blame Oh yeah I just have a hunch, you know?
21:54Andy Williams:He was well dead by 835 AD
21:56Dan Schreiber:Yes, yes, you're right But he was inventing new months and mucking around So I think he might have started this whole process
22:03Andy Williams:Do you remember what it was? It was your fact, Andy Was it?
22:07Dan Schreiber:It was a Roman thing. Okay. And this was the All Hallowtide Festival, and it was in May. And then the church, it actually wasn't a spooky thing.
22:18Andy Williams:Yeah, so All Hallows Day is basically All Saints Day. So it's a special day where you commemorate the saints. So Halloween would be the evening before that, but not necessarily pumpkin races. It was not a spooky thing.
22:34Dan Schreiber:No one had invented the idea of dressing as a sexy cat On All Hallows Eve It just wasn't a thing And then there was a theory that it was moved to autumn Because in May Everyone went to Rome and then got malaria Which is spooky
22:48Andy Williams:It can be, yeah It's scary I'm going dressed as a sexy mosquito This year
22:57James Harkin:Lovely, great fact Okay, this one is going out To Jeff Spencer Jeff, your fact is medieval witches used broomsticks to put hallucinogenic drugs up their bums. Gosh. Yeah. So this was, I got this. This was my fact. I got this from a Wade Davis book. Wade Davis is a anthropologist and he wrote a lot about this subject. And he -
23:23Andy Williams:I think it's controversial. Absolutely. Yeah. Is it all in with that kind of witches were actually people taking mushrooms and stuff? That's what this is.
23:33James Harkin:Absolutely. And I think we talked about this in the show, that this is a sort of controversial interpretation. But it is a big theory of what happened. Oh, but you're not really flying. You're not really flying. You just think you're flying because you've put the broomstick up your bone? Yeah, so you need an applicator for the hallucinogenic. The hallucinogenic is used on the end of a broom. The broom goes up because the best way of getting the best of a drug is...
23:54Andy Williams:Is there room on a broom for a sexy cat like me? Oh dear.
23:58Dan Schreiber:Oh dear.
23:58James Harkin:That's a joke that pre-parenthood you wouldn't have known to make No So the broom wasn't for flying on The drugs were hallucinogenic Flights of the mind Is the idea
24:11Dan Schreiber:Here's another fact This one is now forever and a day In the ownership of Ula Wu And it's that the Rosetta probe Analyzing a comet's smell Has discovered it smells like rotten eggs Cat urine and bitter almonds So when we say almonds Now But I do of course mean bitter peaches Yes Yeah Yeah
24:32Andy Williams:That's amazing Good Just a good space smell there Yeah Okay here's one more This one is now under the custodianship of Elaine Teenan Elaine your fact is that Serrano finds the oldest Briton to climb Everest Fears heights so much that he asks his wife to clear the gutters for him What a convenient lie He's also afraid of filling the dishwasher Taking his pants in the basket
25:01Dan Schreiber:Not near the basket, in the basket Yeah, he's a crazy guy, isn't he, Ranulf Fiennes? Mad, bad and dangerous to know
25:12James Harkin:That's Lord Byron Yeah, but that was his first wife I believe this is when she introduced Ranulf to her dad That is how he was described So it's the name of the sort of biography I don't want you ending up with mad bad and always leaves the remote control in a place where you don't expect it to be okay this is a fact that is going to michelle hagen that is a ryan air crew member recruited today could not possibly be the same height as one from the first cabin crew yeah do you remember this i do this was anna's fact and i remember the uh fact that you you had to be a certain height for the original flights.
25:51James Harkin:I think it was quite a smaller height. 5 '2". 5 '2", yeah.
25:56Andy Williams:And now if you were that height, you wouldn't be able to reach the lockers. Yes. I thought you had to be under 5 '2".
26:00James Harkin:You'd need Ranulph Fiennes' wife to come in and...
26:03Dan Schreiber:You had to be under 5 '2 for the first flights, I thought. And you have to be over 5 '2 now. Got it, got it, got it. Yeah. Here's another one that goes out to Alexander Schwenk, and it's that Steven Seagal is the only private citizen to dismantle a nuclear bomb. And when we say dismantle, I think he paid for the... Should we explain to younger listeners what a Steven Seagal is? I think we should, yeah. Action.
26:29James Harkin:He was a mega action hero. Cut price Sylvester Stallone. Yeah, but he probably... I think his movies did bring in box office, like Under Siege and so on. Like there were big blockbusters and then he became a sort of direct to VHS kind of actor. And then he became a stooge of Vladimir Putin. Yes. And I think he's also a reincarnation of a llama. he's a Buddhist lama no one spits in your face
26:56Dan Schreiber:well Putin won't like that
27:00James Harkin:well why is he getting a nuclear weapon dismantled then? so this was listed on his website and then when you looked into it it was that he funded for one to be dismantled
27:10Andy Williams:but I think he is like he's friends with Putin oh very much so yeah
27:14James Harkin:yeah yeah very much so
27:16Andy Williams:does he live in Russia now?
27:17Dan Schreiber:he moved to Moscow
27:17James Harkin:I think he lives in Russia yeah does he
27:19Andy Williams:yeah like Gérard Depardieu well Gérard Depardieu did it for tax reasons I think mostly did he because it's flat rate tax in Russia not that I've ever looked into it
27:32Dan Schreiber:there's a certain kind of actor who when their career is a bit on the skids they think I'll just go to Russia that's the future it's very like I think Depardieu and Seagal are in a slightly birds of a feather there are you
27:44Andy Williams:I think okay it's a bit odd guddly Which current day actor do you think is next on the line?
27:51Dan Schreiber:Oh, what a great...
27:52Andy Williams:I can't think of any more actors. Okay. Who won't sue us. That's right. Okay. Here is one more from me today. This is a fact that is now under the custodianship of Aaron I, Officer. Your fact is that Viking names included Desirous of Beer, Squat Wiggle, Lust Hostage, Short Penis, Able to fill a bay with fish by magic The man who mixes his drinks And the man without trousers Wow Bit of a long one Well, not if you're short penis This might have been a live show Was it for the book festival? It was, we did it in the Comedy book festival Somewhere in Camden
28:37James Harkin:It was in the Irish centre In Camden, that's right
28:41Dan Schreiber:Yes, and we should say If you join as a friend of the podcast you get a certificate with your fact on it. And I just want to say we're really stretching the bounds of what the certificate can hold with your fact, Aaron. So I hope it's fit on there or we've used the right font. Yeah, sorry about that. I mean, guys, let's pick our Vikings. Who do you want to be? I love the man without trousers. Oh, yeah. I will go for able to fill a bay with fish by magic. I feel like that's me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm definitely squat wiggle.
29:15James Harkin:no one picked your penis i see shall we have one more okay maddie chandler this is for you you only live once is the fourth autobiography by katie price wow has she done any since do you think i think she has has she yeah i
29:34Andy Williams:think she has because when would we have done this episode 35 so that would have been still 2014
29:38James Harkin:2014 yeah yeah um yeah so we were doing the book festival and this was a fact taken directly from one of the qi fact books i think that was what we did oh is that what we were pushing yeah we were all taking one fact from that and of that book which had something like a thousand two hundred facts this was the one fact of mine that made it into that book well done dude Are you still living off those royalties? I am
30:07Andy Williams:One 1 ,339th Of the royalties goes to you
30:12Dan Schreiber:Okay that's it Those are our facts going out to you So congratulations to all Eight friends of the podcast we've just covered That's Maddy, Aaron, Alexander, Michelle, Elaine Ula, Jeff and Jennifer If you would like to get your own fact Or just to join Clubfish and get ad free episodes And bonus stuff and so much more It's so much fun on there You can do that by going to patreon.com slash no such thing as a fish. That's it for this little fish. We'll be back in a few days with another big fish. But until then, it's bye from these guys. See you guys. Bye, guys. And it's goodbye from me. Bye.
From the publisher
Dan, James and Andy discuss YOUR facts, including avocado, almonds, Geese and Grace Kelly. James takes us on a hell of a Kentucky Derby ride. And we name eight more Friend of the Podcast fact custodians.
Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon
