No Such Thing As Sheep Number Five

0:04Hi everyone, Merry Christmas and welcome to this episode of No Such Thing As A Fish. we have something very special for you today it is our christmas special well it's kind of a 2025 special we've looked at this entire year and we found our favorite news stories do you remember when we used to do our own tv show called no such things the news well this is a kind of version of that where we don't have to do makeup i don't have to sit in front of the camera i really hope you enjoy it i really hope you had a great christmas i know not everyone has a great time this time of year but if you didn't i hope you can kind of just turn off for the next hour and listen to us be really silly if you would like some more fish in your life perhaps to help that time between christmas and new year go very very quickly uh then the place to go is definitely patreon it's patreon.com slash no such thing as a fish and there you can find everything about club fish all of our extra content that you can get with all of our different tiers not only will you get lots of extra stuff but you will be helping to support the podcast so do go there if you fancy yet?

1:06If not, then please stay here and listen to the podcast, which is free and which will always be free. Okay, on with the podcast.

1:29Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a very special Boxing Day edition. I hope you had a great Christmas. I hope you got all the presents you wanted. And here's an extra present for you. A sort of different No Such Thing as a Fish today because we are going to be going through not our favourite facts from the last seven days, but our favourite bits of news from the last 365 days. We are now presenting the podcast of the year in sort of tribute to our books, the book of the year and our TV show No Such Thing as the News. So this is the podcast of the book of the TV show of the podcast.

2:05Of the podcast. Of the TV show, because it came from QI. Yeah. So this is the podcast of the book of the TV show of the podcast of the TV show. And in no particular order, here we go. It's like the Blade Runner of podcasts. Yeah. So we're actually doing something different today, because as well as finding our favorite news stories, we have actually tracked down characters from the news to tell us their story. And so I'm going to go first. I'm going to play a little bit of audio now. And James and Andy, let's see if you can work out who this is from the news this year. Hi, no such thing as a fish.

2:40This is Mariel Burnett from the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. This year, along with my co-writer, Paul Sylvia, I published a scientific paper that set out to answer a very important question. So what do you think that question was? Okay, quite vague. Quite vague. University of Massachusetts, so Boston, perhaps. Yep. Something to do with the tea party Oh Something to do with the New England Patriots football team How many sugars were there in the Boston tea party? Or how many sandwiches? Yeah No, we're nowhere near close And yes, it is so vague that it's going to be virtually impossible Well, no, Dan's interests Veer to the cryptid His wife There's no way of talking about vanilla Sorry, I didn't hear what you said initially The cryptid Oh, sorry, yeah A hairy, mythical and terrifying beast.

3:34Fenella is much loved by everyone and not such a thing as a fish. Oh, thank God she doesn't listen to our show. So is it they've discovered why people believe all this rubbish? No, it's not to do with that sort of weird world. Psychologist, did she say? Yeah. So it's something to do with the way that people act, maybe? Why we cry? Why we cry in public. Why I cry in public. Right. Why we kiss, that's been a study this year. That has been a study. Well, because it's good for podcast team unity, isn't it? No, it just stops you crying. I think it's relevant to what ends up happening a lot on this show, when we...

4:14Tedious arguments about minor points of information. Banal jokes. Ooh, now we're getting into the zone. Bad jokes. It's not bad jokes. Let me give you the answer. Here's the answer from Mariel Burnett. The question we asked was, what's brown and sticky? And the answer, of course, is a stick. Actually, that was just the title of the paper. The thing we really wanted to know is who finds dad jokes funny? And after collecting over 32 ,000 jokes and putting them to a group of volunteers, we found our answer. And so my fact for your podcast of the year is this. The people who find dad jokes the funniest are, in fact, dads.

4:48Oh, well, I beg to differ. My daughter finds my jokes hilarious. I agree with you. If our kids were involved in this. Now, this is Mariel Burnett. And she wrote a paper this year called What's Brown and Sticky? Peering into the electable comedic mystery of dad humor with a handful of machine learning models, hundreds of humans and tens of thousands of dad jokes. And so they collected 32 ,000 different dad jokes, which can all now be found on one PDF online, by the way, if anyone wants to get their hands on that. So they came out with multiple different conclusions But the main one being that Dads definitely found the dad jokes The funniest of any group I think that makes sense because you wouldn't tell the joke If you didn't think it was funny So you automatically think It's funny when you say it I'm not sure I always do I'm just trying to get a laugh And I'm pretty dead behind the eyes When I'm telling any joke actually We're not talking about dad jokes here are we We're talking about your stand up set Just anything I do Yeah, yeah, yeah.

5:47I'm trying to get a laugh, but that's the only calculation I make is will the audience laugh? Okay, fair enough. And they often don't. Interesting, because I'm so self-centered. All I care about is whether I find it funny or not. I think this says a lot about us. Yeah, yeah. What about Dan? You just do long Stuart Lee style monologues to your kids, don't you? Yes. They don't usually hear the end of the punchline because they've gone to school by that time. Stuart Lee, there is no punchline. That's what I mean Stuart slightly different I try to swing a punchline in About the 25 minute mark Yeah, it's an interesting study I asked her actually, by the way About what her least favourite dad joke was Because, you know, she must have her favourites And the ones she doesn't like She said, these are the two, it's a tie Why is a fish my best friend?

6:35Because He's with me single swim? Oh, really good It's really nice, yeah I don't know, Dan He always keeps it real with me now she hates that because she says uh real is obviously a fishing term and real sounds like real yeah which would make it keep it real a proper sentence but keeps it real makes no sense she just hates the logic that that doesn't apply it real what does that mean keeps a real keeps it real keeps itself on the end of the real yeah yeah yeah i see what doesn't work so she hates it for the lack of logic um she says contrast this with justice is a dish best served cold if it were served warm it would be called just water because it's just ice yeah very nice that works better in the boston accent and it works as well i think as a sentence rather than as a spoken out thing i actually think the first one isn't a dad joke like to me a dad joke is something you say repeatedly whenever something happens yes like if your kid says i'm thirsty you say hello thursday i'm friday yes and this is my friend robinson crusoe like and but they do it all the time yeah every single Or like Anna's mum Who whenever Anna said Can you turn on the lights She would go over and start flirting with the lights I think that is a proper dad joke That's proper dad jokes And I don't think a bad joke is a dad joke Personally Yeah that's a good point I say a dad joke virtually every day in our house It's the same one At the end of the day Fenella will say Can you draw the curtains And I always say well I'd love to But I don't have a pen The kids have gone to bed hours ago

8:10She's rumpaging across the Tibetan highlands

8:16So anyway, thank you so much, Mariel Burnett Yeah, great work But this brings us into the world of science Science news Yeah, do you know There was a study this year That found that cat poo Might be the cause of the decline of fertility around the world Okay, so more people have cats More cats means more cat poo Yeah Cat poo is horrible Yeah The more you're exposed to cat poo, the less likely you are to think, I'm in the mood for love. Actually, didn't we say in one of our earlier podcasts that the more disgusted you are... Oh, the more aroused you are. Or is it the other way around? I can't remember.

8:48It's the more aroused you are, the more you're willing to do disgusting things. Okay, so maybe it's like every time someone gets a bit horny, instead of having sex and having children, they go and take the cat poo out. Yes, yes, exactly. um no what this is is it's toxoplasma gondii which is a parasite that you find in cat poo there's been studies about this for a while like if they give it to mice it makes them more brave and stuff like that yeah but they found this year that if you put human sperm in cat poo then the sperm gets decapitated okay and so they wonder if there might be something in the cat poo that could be a natural spermicide.

9:26And that could be the cause for the fact that male fertility is going down all over the world at the moment, which it is. If men are exposed to cat poo, somehow the thing gets inside them and is already acting away inside their bodies. I hate the thought of it. It's like a little sort of French revolution for all your sperm. They're all being guillotined. Yeah. Yes. That's horrible. I don't have a cat and I have three kids and you've got a cat and you've got one kid. well that's that is a data point um on the other hand my child came maybe a year and a half after we got our cat so yes with us it didn't quite work out but this is the thing about science our two tiny bits of data that isn't science you have to take in hundreds of thousands of data yes yeah agreed hence why my papers always get rejected

10:20I did really think about Something that's going wrong with scientific papers this year Which is so interesting Basically There is this phrase that is starting to turn up In papers right Vegetative electron microscopy Okay well I know what Electron microscopy is I've done scanning tunneling electron microscopy At university Have you? Yeah I've used a scanning tunneling microscope it's another episode of the thousand lives of james harkin it is i think that my lives are so less i mean they're way more interesting than yours andy but like yeah you can't say oh like oh my landscape is more mountainous than norfolk it's just like who cares yeah but compared to dan dan has lived a billion lives oh dan's had an interesting life do you two are both look i just look up at both your lives and i'm really impressed anyway okay vegetative electron microscopy you're right james it means nothing it's not a meaningful phrase okay um but it has become what scientists are calling a digital fossil this is so cool it's a mistake um there was a there were some scientific papers printed in the 50s and 60s which were written on columns you know like long tall columns of print yeah and when these papers were being digitized the two things got bolted onto each other so the words are not next to each other in the original text but the digitizing machine just bolted them together.

11:42This has now started turning up in lots of papers because it somehow got into the knowledge base of AI models and people are starting to use AI to generate science papers. And this is disastrous, you know. This is proof that there's real brain rot going on at the heart of lots of the AI models that are being used. And lots of science papers are being found which contain phrases like I am an AI model or I am a large language model. Oh, right. Wow. Breakthroughs this year? First gonorrhea vaccine Oh what a treat Good news It's only got a performance rate of 30 or 40 % But that's better than nothing That's terrific First successful bladder transplant One has never been done until this year Really?

12:26And I think it's in China Some scientists have invented contact lenses Which give you infrared vision And let you see things even if your eyes are closed Now How cool is that? What if you want to close your eyes because you don't want it like you're watching a scary movie yeah and you think oh i don't want to see what's happening here so i close my eyes but then you can still see it yeah yeah yeah yeah you you walk into your parents bedroom and they're shagging

12:55i want to give a quick shout out to an amazing person who passed away this year uh an australian called james harrison uh he was 88 years old when he passed this year and he is one of the most prolific blood donors that we've ever known. So he was known in Australia as the man with the golden arm. His blood contained a rare antibody, anti-D, which is used in medication that's given to pregnant mothers and it's blood plasma basically that he's handing over. Now, he has been doing this since he was 18 years old, donating his blood every two weeks until he was 81 years old crazy yeah i'll get a sticker every time and a lollipop and a lollipop it was morbidly obese by the end um i talked about cats earlier there's been some dog studies oh yeah this year uh the epidemiology and clinical management of acute diarrhea in dogs under primary veterinary care in the uk was a study that i read uh and it's very very technical call lots of lists of dogs lots of reasons why they get diarrhea very complicated but what i took out of it is that cockapoo's are 25 more likely to suffer from diarrhea than shih tzus brilliant and why they didn't put that as their headline i don't know why they gave it that wordy thing i feel like most science reports should just send you a quick email before the story breaks just for a quick rewrite on the headline just in case there's a dad joke i can slip in there Yeah, exactly.

14:28All right, it's time for fact number two, and that is Andy's fact. Okay, here is my guest introducing him or herself. Yeah. See what you make of it, okay? Okay, all them. All them? Right. Hi, Fish. My name is Lee Durrant. I'm a radio presenter in the Lake District. Can you guess what I did this year that made a few headlines? Okay. Very nice. In the Lake District. In the Lake District. He's got that DJ voice, hasn't he? He's got a great voice. He's on Lake District Radio. Maybe he launched a load of Sabrina Carpenter CDs into the water. Oh, yes. That's what he did. Submarina Carpenter. Take a drink.

15:14You've earned that sip. Very good. Okay, so is it related to music? It is related to music. He did something in the course of his job, which was... Hmm. Okay. But also related to the Lake District. Oh, okay. Interesting. Oh, no. What? I've just thought of something that's in the Lake District. Oh, yeah. Something that's very special to Andy's heart. Is it anything to do with the Pencil Museum? I wish it were, James. No, it's not. It's not the Keswick Pencil Museum. Okay. So is it related to people who are from there? So Wordsworth or... No, it's a modern thing. He's drawing attention to a problem in the Lake District That's going on right now There's a nuclear power plant up in Cumbria He's very happy with that No, I don't want to put words in his mouth We had a couple of chats We didn't talk about everything in the Lake District Is it to do with water pollution?

16:06Because we have a lot of problem with that in the UK Yes, it is Okay Did he do a poo in Lake Windermere? What's the goal of that, James? I didn't know whether he's pro or against he's just pointing out it exists guys you know um well shall i shall i tell you what it is because i think you've got so close now okay i'm the presenter on lake district radio who played a marathon 24 hour show of number two records to highlight the real number two problem sewage in our lakes and waterways very good how good is that good i love it he did a he did a dirty protest He played 24 hours straight of number two songs Great It was so good So all songs that peaked at number two in the charts And there is lots of sewage going into Lake Windermere And the utilities companies, you know, they pay their bosses a lot In my chat with him, he said this phrase, which I just absolutely love He said, what's more sickening?

17:01The fact that these water firms are paying themselves millions While failing to fix the sewage problem Or that Oasis never got to number one due to Robson and Jerome So Unchained Melody for Robson and Jerome, presumably and, I don't know, just a very, very funny idea. Yeah, really good. Good for him. And has it solved the problem? Yep. I think it's embarrassed United Utilities who do run the water up there. Unfortunately, number ones are also a problem if you put too much of them in the water. Very good point. Yes. Very good point. Wow, amazing. That's the second marathon of songs that happened this year.

17:37One just happened with Alex Horn. Oh, yeah. They played one song. on repeat for, I think it was 24 hours as well. Which song? I'm going off the top of my head here, so I can't quite remember. It was something apt. It was like, don't stop me singing. I know that isn't a song, but it was like that kind of like... Right. Yeah. And they had the guests nonstop flooding in to sort of do a version of it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Those marathons are very... I was part of a marathon this year, by the way. Yeah. I mean, it only lasted for 365 minutes, but it was the 31st anniversary of Agadou this year. Oh yeah, by Black Lace.

18:16Yeah, exactly. So you pushed a pineapple for 300 hours. No, to celebrate it, the Crab Museum guys who live down where I live, they put the song on on 41 different devices and played them at the same time. And it was wild. It was a cacophony of sound because it all goes out of sync very quickly. Does it? Yeah. That's interesting. On different devices, you're at different bit rates, I think. And so it just slowly goes off. Nice. Let's get back to actual news. No, that's really good. So a couple of other sewagey protests this year. Oh, yeah. There was this month, actually, this December, there was a Santa's against sewage swim in Falmouth in Cornwall.

18:59Had to be called off. Can you guess why? Because all the reindeers drowned That's it

19:08Too much sewage in the water For them to do a Santa's against sewage swim This is the second year out of three It's had to be cancelled due to the sheer volume of sewage in the water Oh no It's bad, it is bad, bad, bad Do they sort of hope it's going to be cancelled? Is that the whole point of it? Does that get the press? Is it annoying if they actually have to do the swim? Don't know, I think these people are all They like their beach They love the swim surfing swimming so i think that i think they probably are up for it yeah there's been a big protest in france this year oh isn't every year very very strange for the french to to cut up rough um well they're kicking off about it's the most french protest the length of baguettes has shortened that's it's the second most french protest it's um there's a there's a campaign at the moment to raise the retirement age in france oh yeah the ungodly age of 64 And I can't stand the thought of that What is it currently?

20:01I think it's 62 at the moment Right And every French president for the last 40 years Has been saying, look, we really need to raise the retirement age Just a bit to make the money add up And every time they do it, people set fire to cars Pretty much, yeah Absolutely And a French group of artists this year They launched a campaign encouraging the French To make up for the extra two years By being systematically late for work For the entirety of their working life Really? They've put together an official calendar and you plug in your age and it says, right, this is how late you need to be for work every single day of your life from now on in order to get those two years back.

20:37That's interesting because I was 10 minutes late for this today. Yeah. Just embracing my French side. I met a man who was in his 40s when I was living in Angoulême in the south of France and he told me... Another chapter. Another chapter in the book of Dan. I honestly did not know that you used to live in Anglia Yeah just for like It was like three months, four months I was living with my grandmother That's a long time That's a long time to live somewhere that we've never heard of In our 11 years making a weekend If I had ever been to Anglia on holiday You guys would know all about it Was that when you opened that patisserie That was based on Marcel Marceau

21:20All the baked goods on the other side of an imaginary pane of glass so no one can ever get any fucking bread. Yeah, this guy said that he was now on his pension because he worked in the army as... Which guy? The French man who was in his 40s who I met. Sorry, yes. There was the bit connected to this. You met a guy? I met a guy and he was retired. He was on his French pension and it's because he was in the army and he was a parachuter, a paratrooper. and there was a little blip i guess in the in the wording which meant that if you'd done a number of jumps you could retire and go into your pension okay right so he did something like in the space of a year something like 500 jumps he literally got up got in a plane jumped out got down got back up and would just continuously do it and now he was just living a life just free on a pension in his 40s that is amazing yeah yeah i mean the chance of one of the jumps going wrong is very low but obviously the more you do yeah and then presumably the idea of the government is if enough people die in jumps and they'll have less of a pension bill that's possible yeah the last hundred you have to do over volcanoes over the mounds of snapping alligators yeah um there was a big problem in america this year with the budget wasn't there do you remember that no so basically the republicans tried to pass a budget and the democrats decided to put the whole country into lockdown which you know every time that a president tries to do that the other side tries to do that so it's not a republican democrat thing it is just a thing but um in charlotte in north carolina they were trying to pass a budget and protesters stopped the meeting by releasing an unknown number of crickets in the room that's an interesting way of stopping something because actually it causes an enormous amount of tumult but crickets you think that's just like silence and quietness don't you it's like a bad joke is cricket yes but actually it caused an absolutely amazing amount of craziness because people were running around trying to get rid of these crickets not because they were very noisy no it wasn't it was just that people don't have you ever watched i'm a celebrity get me out of here no well if you do watch that you'll know that celebrities at least but you can extend it to the general public don't like insects jumping on them yeah celebrities aren't different in that respect no they're they're better than those in many respects absolutely yeah yeah um yeah that's an unknown number is a good thing that's like the old joke of you release five sheep somewhere and you paint on their sides one two three four and six yeah And then you can reduce the city to chaos for days as they try and find cheap number five, which doesn't exist.

24:05They all fall asleep every time they start looking for it, don't they? I've got one more music thing to add, seeing this was a musical protest fact that you opened up with. Which is that, so one of the other big things going on in the world right now is how people are responding to AI coming in and destroying certain fields. In the creative arts, it's a big deal. And in music, it's been a big thing. So earlier this year, a thousand musicians got together to release an album called, Is This What We Want? Question mark. Oh, yeah. And it went to 38 in the album charts. And it was an entirely silent album.

24:40Oh, considering that's actually pretty good. Exactly. So like it included Kate Bush, Annie Lennox, Damon Albarn from Blur, Ed O 'Brien from Radiohead, Dan Smith from Bastille, the Mystery Jets. Did they all have to pay royalties to John Cage? Which interestingly, I haven't heard whether or not that's the case. That's a really good question. But they all contributed bits of silence to it. I managed to track down one of the musicians to get an exclusive outtake from the album. Oh, wow. Yeah, so here we go. This is something that didn't make it to the album. Hello, No Such Thing as a Fish. It's Dan Smith here from a band called Bastille.

25:16I wanted to send you an exclusive outtake from my contribution to Is This What We Want, the album from this year. this is my favorite bit and I was pretty gutted that it didn't make the cut but I'm just really happy to have the opportunity to share it with you now so here we go

25:39wasn't that beautiful anyway have a good show and have a great break bye that's amazing that was great so that's Bastille that was an outtake from their contribution to this album and you can get it on vinyl It's a pre-order right now if anyone's listening But very cool protest Very dangerous thing that's going on for a lot of artists I did find, okay guys I'm really sorry, I found something from It's just over a year ago I was going to put money on Andy bringing a 2024 story To the table Last December, I'm so annoyed this guy just missed this year But it was a brilliant Windermere protest, that's all Have you heard of the Chain of Supermarkets booths?

26:18Oh yeah, I used to live up there They're like the Waitrose of North Lancashire and Cumbria. Exactly. And that's their slogan, isn't it? Yeah. There was a guy called Michael Moody who got a parking ticket, I believe in the booths in Windermere, which is the only reason I bring it up, Windermere in the Lake District. And he didn't pay it because according to him, he didn't notice that he got the letters saying you've got a parking ticket. Okay, yeah, yeah. And then he got handed a county court judgment for not paying his parking ticket. And at that point, that meant that he could no longer get a mortgage.

26:50So he decided to launch a protest Against Booths of Windermere He travelled from his home in Skegness Oh my god, that's a long way Quite a way, a couple of hundred miles It's like Skegness for non-British Listeners is on the opposite coast Of the UK He went to the car park of Booths of Windermere He went back to the scene of the crime Or non-crime, whatever The alleged crime Where he got the ticket, certainly And he moved his entire living room into the car park Which was his sofa some bookshelves some coffee tables his pet goldfish that he just moved into a parking space wow at Booth's window bear what a hero that's amazing and what happened I haven't been able to find an update ah so I suspect they've had him quietly taken care of John Wilts Booths

27:44okay it's time for our next fact and that is James okay here is my voice note from someone that was sent to me just last night hi guys my name's shivan mccutcheon and this year i achieved something with the help of my three brothers he did something with his three brothers with his three brothers and we are in the realm of sport and i want to just say thank you so much to shivan for sending me that because he is really sick okay he's got the illness that's going around at the moment so he came out of his sick bed to record that but But yeah, with three of his brothers, he did something this year.

28:19Three, so it requires four people. Okay, so I think it's, and it's in the world of sport. Yeah. It's a four-person sporting team. Actually, there are four of eight in the squad and five in the team. Rowing? Very close. Unbelievably close for a first guess. Right. Actually. I just think eight is... Yeah, eight. You don't get many eights in sports. Is it curling? No, further away. I mean, rowing was unbelievably close, so I don't know why curling would be... Well, you were just close in the number, I thought. Curling, it's quite a big team. You've got the guy who throws the curl, you've got the guy with the broom, you've got, there's like four people yelling from behind.

28:58Harder brushing! Yeah, okay. Thanks for the explanation of what curling is, Dan. I think James was saying rowing was close. Is it like yachting? Further away. Okay. It's on a boat? It's on a small boat. Oh, small boat. Sailing the English Channel. it's small boat small boat migration they're all in separate boats oh they're all in separate boats is this one of those sort of historical reenactments where they're all sitting in tiny ships it's like the battle of Trafalgar yeah that sport I love that I actually would watch that I've watched the heck out of that sport Dan you've created a really good sport I gotta say especially for the english and the british like because we we're gonna go to the world cup next year and probably won't win it but i reckon in the annual battle of trafalgar competition we're gonna thrash them every year in the bars they'll be throwing pints everywhere singing sweet caroline okay what are we saying small boats it's canoe a kayak canoe canoe yeah uh so they were four canoes in the team gb canoe polo team canoe polo that won bronze at the world games this year that's amazing polo but everyone's in a boat absolutely fantastic wow um so we won uh bronze this year and shivan mccutcheon suryan mccutcheon santan mccutcheon and katek mccutcheon were all in the team together fantastic that's so good and were they were they raised to be in boats well did they did they have a parent like the you know like the williams sister's dad who just like from birth to be canoe polo i think what it is is there are not so many canoe polo teams in the uk right uh but there is one amazing one in liverpool called the friends of allenby and they're all part of this canoe polo team and in total 13 of the canoe polo players from the male and females teams came from this one club so it's like they're all the the liverpool or the arsenal of yeah of canoe polo and you're going to have a obviously a variety of ages between them so it begs the question what is an ideal age to be a canoe poloist yeah they're all in the 20s i think apologies apologies if any of in their late teens or early 30s but yeah they're all about that age and this was the world games which is uh it's like the olympic games but it's for sports that are not in the olympics i read that i'd never heard of it before and i found a list of sports that are in there which are not sports i know well at all i don't know anything about finn swimming yeah i don't know anything about fistball fistball i'm surprised fistball is like volleyball but the balls allowed to bounce oh okay uh and the amazing thing about fistball is it was written about in 1786 by friend of the podcast johan wolfgang von goethe oh he wrote about going to a fistball game between four noblemen from verona and four venetians amazing snooker is in the world games because it's not in the olympics yeah right uh and snooker was won by xiao gu dong who is the world's number eight snooker player and with the greatest respect to all the other players he was the only professional there right so he was like he really wanted to compete and win a medal for china because he's very patriotic but he is at the time he was the eighth best player in the world and everyone else was an amateur oh my god can you imagine that yeah he just absolutely in fact he actually lost one of his group games but yeah he basically smashed everyone because he he is one of the world's best funny yeah so uh congratulations to shivan let me um playing the reveal oh yeah oh yeah the answer is we're part of the british canoe polo team who won bronze at this year's world games in chengdu yeah we know that mate and of course just wants to say merry christmas and happy new year to dan andy james and everyone tuning in to the pod oh don't you feel bad he said her merry christmas to us yep gotten prematurely i apologize to all the brothers That's really cool.

33:18Thanks for sending us that. That's amazing. Yeah, that's really cool. Never heard of that game. Do you think it's going to make its way to the Olympics one day? I'd love it to. I think it's quite exciting. I've seen some videos of it. It's really cool. It does sound good. There is another, this isn't a proper campaign running at the moment, but I did read a piece recently about paintball players who are campaigning for it to be eventually an Olympic sport. I can see that. It's a fun game. I think it'd be fun for spectators. I mean, it's fun to do, for sure But it's not even recognised as a sport yet, I think So that's probably the first hurdle to clear Before you get into the Olympics It would be remarkable if it went straight From not a sport to in the Olympics Here is a cool thing That has been revealed There are a lot of track and field records being broken Are there?

34:11Yeah Because a lot of them have Have stagnated for decades Because basically everyone took drugs Right And we didn't know about it And now people are taking fewer drugs or less good drugs And they can't beat the records anymore But there is a thing you can take Oh Which helps you run a bit faster Interesting Consistently helps you run a bit faster All athletes are taking it now All athletes are taking it Yeah And it makes you run faster You'll both have some in your pantry I'm going to say I don't have a pantry But let's say is it kind of Is it like nutmeg? You would use it in your baking cupboard Oh My baking cupboard I'm learning a lot about Andy's kitchen here He's got a pantry, a baking cupboard Turn left after the second pantry And that's the baking cupboard Ask the butler to retrieve it for you Wheel the cheese fridge over to one side Okay, what would be in your baking cupboard?