177. My Birth Story! Baby #4, Having a VBAC, Homeschooling, and Balancing Career

0:00Natalie Palmer:Hello, welcome, and thanks for checking in today to No Vacancy, the podcast. I'm your host, Natalie Palmer. I'm an Airbnb ambassador and 17-time superhost, and I've hosted over 1 ,000 reservations. I'm a stay-at-home mom of two and manage my eight listings remotely. My mission is to help new and experienced vacation rental hosts turn their listings into fully booked, profitable properties that can be managed from anywhere so you too can have no vacancies. If that sounds good to you, let's get right into the show.

0:51Natalie Palmer:Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of No Vacancy, the podcast. I'm your host, Natalie Palmer. Today I have a solo episode for you and this one's going to be on the shorter side and not really STR or real estate education. Tune back in next week for regularly scheduled programming. But for today, I wanted to jump on and just give you guys a personal update that I just had my baby last week. So I thought I would jump on and share about the birth story and everything and then just sort of how we're adjusting to life with four kids. And I'll sprinkle in a little bit about how I'm balancing work and real estate with being a mom of four now and also trying to homeschool all of them and what life is going to look like now.

1:37So let's jump into it.

1:39Natalie Palmer:This pregnancy was overall pretty easy, but towards the end, I mean, I was uncomfortable, but like who's not uncomfortable at 37 weeks and beyond. So I was definitely like ready for baby to come. What's funny is with this pregnancy, actually, we wanted a fourth. We were open to a fourth. And my husband and I were talking about timing it that I would have, that I would deliver end of May, early June. Like when this was on our radar that we wanted a fourth because my husband's a teacher. So he's off then. And we were like, perfect. Like he'll have the whole summer off to help. While we were having that conversation, little did I know I was already pregnant with this baby.

2:24And when I ended up finding out I was pregnant, I counted it out. And I was like, oh, sweet. It's like a casual eight weeks before Level Up Your Listing Summit. That's my due date.

2:35Natalie Palmer:Only the most stressful time of the entire year for me planning this summit. So that was not convenient. Luckily, Tatiana and the rest of our team has been incredible. And I'm like getting to take a little bit of a maternity leave. I mean, I still am actively engaged on like our team texts and stuff, but luckily like Zoom calls have slowed down for me and everything, and Tatiana and the team has been handling it. So that's been great. But yeah, it's just funny when you try to plan stuff like that, not knowing you're literally already pregnant. But yeah, anyway, this pregnancy overall was pretty easy until those last few weeks where you're just so uncomfortable.

3:12Natalie Palmer:I could not wait for the baby to come. And because with my second, I had, if you guys know my history here, I've talked about this on the podcast before. I had a very, very traumatic birth with my second. I had a placental abruption at 37 weeks, and it was a complete placental abruption, lost two liters of blood. It was bad. My daughter was born not breathing, had to be resuscitated. Very, very traumatic situation. We were probably both like minutes from life or death. So ever since that one, like with my third pregnancy and now this one, I just get so, I'm not an anxious person. Like I'm pretty much go with the flow with everything.

3:58Natalie Palmer:I really don't stress or worry about things that are out of my control. but with my third and fourth pregnancy as soon as I hit 37 weeks which is when I had the placental abruption with my second every day is like so anxiety inducing because I just it literally happened in the most random thing I was at the dining table doing a puzzle when I had that placental abruption like there was no impact I wasn't lifting anything like it happened so out of the blue and I'm not kidding if we had gotten to the hospital like three minutes later there's a very good chance both me and my daughter would not be here.

4:34Natalie Palmer:So yeah, with my third and fourth pregnancy, like as soon as I hit that 37 week mark, I just every, every minute of every day, like I feel like a little contraction, like the Braxton Hicks or whatever they are, or like sciatica. And I'm just like, is that it? Oh my God, am I about to bleed? It's so anxiety inducing for me, but I don't know. And then I had other kids to take care of too. And just the constant thought, like every day my husband went to work, it was like, okay, what's the plan? Like if I start bleeding or go into labor while you're at work, like you need to find a period sub. And how quickly can you get home?

5:14Natalie Palmer:And your parents live right over the hill. Like how do we get me to the hospital as quickly as possible? Obviously, I could call an ambulance. But it was like then I have to deal with child care while they take me. So the last like three weeks of pregnancy was just like very hard for me with my third and my fourth, just with like all the thoughts of like, what if this happens again? So all that to say, once I got to the 37 week mark with this baby, I was just so uncomfortable, so anxious every day. I like could not wait for for baby to come. So with my doctor, we had scheduled a C-section. I had my first vaginally second two were both c-sections both emergency c-sections and I just assumed like okay I'm gonna have a c-section again with this one but my doctor told me like I could try for a v-back v-back for those who don't know vaginal birth after cesarean and in my mind I was like you know that'd be great if I could like the recovery was so much easier with my first delivery compared to my two C-sections.

6:23Natalie Palmer:But I pretty much in my mind had like written it off. I was like, there's no way I'm going to get to have a VBAC. Like, you know, after two, the risk of rupture is higher. And I've just like had so many complications with my second and third delivery. So I really didn't think that that was even like a possibility. But I really wanted to give myself the most amount of time. So the plan we came up with with the doctor was we would schedule a C-section for my due date if I didn't go into labor by then. And if I happened to go into labor earlier, we would try for me to labor and get to 10 centimeters and be able to push.

7:07Natalie Palmer:But if anything happened in the moment, like umbilical cord is wrapped or like D cells or risk of rupture, then obviously we're just going to go to C-section. And again, in my mind, I was like, I almost didn't even entertain the idea of VBAC because I was like, it's going to end up being a C-section. Like, I just know that that's where we're headed. So like I said, we had this scheduled at the 40-week mark, like on baby's due date. And I was so miserable and so stressed and so anxious towards the end that I really considered moving up the C-section date. and you know by 37 weeks baby's full term you can technically move it up and my doctor was like do you want to do it at 39 weeks like what what's your plan here and the one thing that I really didn't want was to like rush the baby like that was the one thing I was kind of like okay if I end up having a c-section whatever I've made peace with that but I did not want to get induced and I really was hoping I would have my baby before my due date I just wanted to know that like I let it cook as long as possible and that the baby came when they were ready and I was like you know if my water breaks and contractions start and I'm at the hospital trying for a v-back and then they tell me I need a c-section I'm okay with that but I want to know that like babies baby sent signals and like contractions started on their own or my water broke on its own like baby was ready to come so I was just really hoping that I would not reach my due date because I didn't like the idea of like just showing up and like picking the baby's birthday felt so weird I don't know why if anyone's had like a scheduled induction or c-section like tell me how that was for you for some reason in my head it just felt so weird to like show up and like no I'm having my baby that day like I feel like I don't know it was like my my job to like let the baby come when they wanted so I was really hoping that we would not reach that date and that baby would come on its own.

9:19Natalie Palmer:So my due date was January 23rd and I had a scheduled C-section for that day. And once I hit 38 weeks, so two weeks before that scheduled C-section date, my husband started saying like, hey, I think maybe you should consider moving up the C-section date. And like it wasn't like peer pressure or anything. Like he was very comfortable letting me go to my due date. But I think he just saw like the toll it was taking on me, like watching three others being that pregnant and the stress of not knowing that like at any moment I could start bleeding and like be stuck at home with three kids I think he saw that weighing on me and he was like look baby's full term I know you want it to go as long as possible but like the doctors have told you it is safe to deliver now like are you sure you don't want to move up the date and like trust me I wanted to I was so miserable and it was so tempting but I just kept telling myself like I gotta I gotta I gotta let the baby cook like I just like that was really the one thing that I felt like the most convicted in with this baby like just let them come on their own time so it was tempting but I was like no I need to just like hang on and let baby come when they're ready so at 39 weeks I still hadn't delivered.

10:41Natalie Palmer:This would have been Friday the 16th, so a week before. And once again, Eric was like, are you sure? You don't just want to move it up one week, 39 weeks. You really want to go one more week of every minute not knowing. And again, so tempted. But at the time, I was raising money for a flip that we're doing with Maddie and Skylar with For the Love of Upstate. and my goal was to get the flip fully funded by January 31st by end of the month. And I had secured one investor, but we were 100K shy of what we needed. And that was the one thing in my mind that was like almost also like holding me back from wanting to have the baby is I was like, I want this deal funded.

11:30Like I want to round this one out, finish this one off and have the money.

11:34Natalie Palmer:Like technically I have till the 31st. Yeah, I think I had till the end of January and my due date was January 23rd. So I was like, I still have a little bit of time like afterwards, but I don't want this hanging over my head once I have the baby. Like it would be so nice to get this thing fully funded before I go into labor. Friday, January 16th, I found one investor to come in for that like part of the final 100k and then Saturday January 17th found the final investor to round out that final amount so I'm in my room talking to her we finish up on the phone call she signs the agreement and everything and says she's gonna wire right after the weekend and I literally hooked out of the room and I tell Eric like I think it was about 5 p.m.

12:20on Saturday and I was like all right just fully funded the flip that we were doing

12:26Natalie Palmer:I'm like completely at peace I had also been like nesting for the previous week and I had done so much decluttering like taken multiple donation bags and I just felt oh I had been like deep cleaning the house and stuff we had stocked up on groceries like I fully felt in that moment like house is ready fridge is ready baby's set up like house is decluttered and now I got this deal funded. And I walked out of the room after getting that last investor. And I just like look at Eric and I was like, all right, like I'm ready for this baby to come like officially. Like I know I've been saying I'm ready and I want the baby out, but like I'm ready.

13:02Like I've done everything

13:03Natalie Palmer:I've needed to do before this baby comes. That was at 5 p.m. on Saturday. We go to mass that evening, come home. I had we had a gift card to Cheesecake Factory. We like never eat there. But Eric was like, should we just like splurge and like go to Cheesecake Factory or like go pick it up because we have the gift card that we haven't used. So he like goes and picks up cheesecake and everything. Like we had like a great dinner, like watched a movie that night. Like it was like the perfect like last Saturday to just like unwind and be at home. Like all the kids went to bed super easy. Like nobody called us back in after bedtime.

13:38So easy. We go to bed 5 a.m. So 12 hours later, I wake up with this like super intense contraction and I was like, oh like, okay, it's starting like I'm getting contractions

13:50Natalie Palmer:And I was like, okay, let me wait for this one to pass and then i'm gonna grab my little contraction timer app And as i'm reaching over to get my phone I feel a huge gush and I was like, all right either i'm bleeding or my water just broke Looked down luckily no blood. It was just my water had broke But I like wake up eric and I was like it's time and so he called his parents. They were amazing They came over within 15 minutes at 5 a.m. God bless them. The kids hadn't even woken up. They were still in bed. And we were at the hospital within 15 minutes of his parents coming. So I think in total, I was at the hospital 27 minutes after my water broke.

14:29Natalie Palmer:So it was like the whole time on the drive. I was like, this is like, I already feel so relieved about this. Like my husband was home. That was like my biggest fear that something was going to happen while he was gone. And I was like stuck alone with the three kids. So he was home. It was a Sunday morning, 5 a.m. There was no traffic on the way to the hospital. We were the only ones checking in. The floor was like completely empty. There was nobody there. I got in so quickly. Like it was just the best experience driving up. I mean, minus the fact that I was in pain and like having contractions and trying to time them.

15:03Minus that whole part. It was like just the most like peaceful time that it could have happened. I was so relieved and like his parents were just like over so quickly. So everything was going so smoothly. I get to the hospital and stuff and they're like, okay, yeah, we can confirm your water broke and everything. So what do you want to do? Do you want to try and labor?

15:22Natalie Palmer:We see that you have a scheduled C-section in five days because it's now the 18th and my C-section was for the 23rd. So they're like, do you want to just go for a C-section or do you want to try and labor? and the what I was like you know what would be the worst is if I try and labor for all this time and then baby's having d-cells when I'm at like eight centimeters or something and they're like okay time for a c-section which is what happened with my third I had gotten to like five or six centimeters and then baby was in distress and having decelerations so they were like with your prior c-section we gotta we gotta just like do this and then he was out within 11 minutes of the doctor making that call.

16:02Natalie Palmer:So I was like, I don't want to go through like labor again, just to end up in a C-section. So I had the doctor come in and talk to him. And credit to this doctor, he ended up not being the one who delivered for me because his shift was about to end. This was now at like 7am and they do change over at 730. So he ended up not being the one who delivered, but he really convinced me to try to go for vaginal. And I honestly think this doctor was like an angel because I feel like we hear a lot lately as moms how much you're pushed to C-section, right? Doctors prefer it. It's more predictable. They can kind of control the variables.

16:45Natalie Palmer:They can fit it into their schedule better. We all know that you're heavily pushed today towards C-section. So the fact that the doctor, when he was talking to me, I was pretty 50-50. And the fact that he pushed me and was like, hey, I really think that baby looks good. They're on the monitors. There's no distress. You went into labor naturally. You've had a vaginal delivery before. I really think you can do this. And we'll monitor the whole time. And if there's any sign of rupture or distress, we will immediately do a C-section. But I think you're the perfect candidate to try for a VBAC. So just hearing it from him, like really encouraged me to be like, okay, let's do this.

17:26And then they also said that they will give me an epidural right away, because if they do want to rush me into C-section, they wanted to make sure that I already had

17:34Natalie Palmer:a needle in there so they could give me all the anesthesia, which was really my biggest concern at that point. I wanted that epidural ASAP. So they gave me the epidural and everything. And I was like, let's do this. Like, I'm going to try to do a VBAC. And after about when I got admitted to the hospital, I was three centimeters. And they came back and checked that was at like, 6am 630 ish seven, I forget. But I was about three centimeters. And then they came back at 11, or 1130 and checked me again. And I was at four centimeters. And I was like, dude, it's been like five hours and I've progressed one centimeter.

18:15Like,

18:16Natalie Palmer:I'm probably going to end up with a C-section again, or they're going to have to start giving me Pitocin in my IV to like induce contractions. And I just was like getting kind of demoralized at that time. But at least I was comfortable. I had the epidural. I was watching SVU on the hospital TV. And I was like, all right, like, you know, I can tolerate this. So I was just waiting it out and they come back in or I started to feel contractions like through my epidural and I just started getting like really uncomfortable over the next hour like I was on my left side and then I was like oh I feel like I need to shift to my right like every position I was in I was kind of uncomfortable even through the epidural and one of the doctors or nurses comes back in about an hour later it was like 12 or 12 30 and she goes to check again how dilated I am and she's like you're at 10.

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19:37So I literally went from like it took me five hours to get one centimeter from three to four. And then it took me one hour to get from four to ten. Like it was so fast. So no wonder I was feeling contractions like through the epidural because damn it ramped up quick when it was go time. So yeah, the nurse was like, you're at ten. Like it's time to push. And I was just like, oh, OK. Like in my mind, I thought I had like literally six more hours. Like it was just moving so slowly. But she's like, let me get the doctor. And like, it's time to push. And that was the first moment that I actually let myself think like, oh my gosh, I might have a vaginal delivery right now.

20:15Like,

20:15Natalie Palmer:I might not have to have a C-section because the whole time I was like, any moment they're going to tell me baby's in distress or there's like risk of rupture and I'm going to be wheeled off to a C-section. So that was the first moment I actually let myself think like, I might be able to pull off vaginal delivery. So the doctor came in and I started pushing at like 1242 or something. Baby was born at 1247. I literally did three rounds of pushes. It was like the easiest delivery ever. Like so smooth. I had a freaking V-back after two cesareans. Like I was just in complete shock. Like I had so written off that that was even a possibility.

21:00I think I just don't want to get too hopeful. So this whole time I was like, yeah, I'm probably going to have a C-section, but like I couldn't believe it. Like I actually had a V-back after two. I was so happy and just like on cloud nine in that moment. Literally easiest delivery of all four. Like it just, the timing, like the fact that it was like 5 a.m. on a Sunday when Eric was home, his parents were able to come up so quick. The kids were all in bed, so we didn't have to deal with them. No traffic on the way to the hospital. The amazing doctor who was on duty and talked me into it, and then getting from four to 10 centimeters in the last hour and then being able to push in three pushes, it was just perfect.

21:43It was the most perfect, smoothest, easiest delivery of all four. I was so happy, but then came the complete shock because all of my kids have been surprises. We never found out the gender with any of them, but I've guessed the gender correctly with all three. This baby, I was so completely convinced was a boy. This was the most certain I've been of the gender out of all four. Lo and behold, doctor picks her up after I push her out. And like, I look and I'm like, there's no penis. Like, oh my God, it's a girl. I was shocked, you guys. because I with my other three I would say that like my first I guessed correctly it was a girl and I was like 80 20 confident my second I also guessed correctly it was a girl but I was like 60 40 like a little less confident on that one and then with my third who was a boy I was like 70 30 like somewhere in between that I was like leaning towards a boy but not quite sure this baby I was so convinced it was a boy I was literally telling like all our family like yeah I don't know the gender but I do know the gender it's it's a boy you know I was like 99 to one I was I would have put money on this one this is the most confident I've been and I was like oh if I've gotten the other three right when I was even less confident in the genders those times this one's definitely a boy and literally when the doctor held her up I was like where's the penis Like I was completely shocked.

23:13So it was just a day full of surprises. Like I could not believe that I had had a VBAC, could not believe I had had a girl. And then both my baby number two and baby number three both ended up in the NICU. Baby number one was for a week or my second was for a week. And then my third, you guys may remember, was in the NICU for three months. So that was another thing that I was like, we're probably going to end up. I'm probably going to end up with a C-section with my son and having some sort of NICU stay. Like those were like three things in my mind that I was like, yeah, those are givens. And literally had a V-back with a girl and she was perfectly healthy.

23:49Like no NICU, no NICU visit. Like I just, I couldn't believe it. I'm still in shock, but I'm so freaking proud of myself because the temptation that I had felt to just move up the c-section date even though I knew I wanted to give the baby all the time. I was so tempted you guys I was so miserable but I just waited and I let her come on her own time on God's time and I am like so grateful that I just like put my faith in in God honestly. I I don't know even though the doctors and like even Eric was like are you sure you don't want to move it up like you've been so stressed with this and everything but I was able to get the house completely ready able to finish funding our flip that was like such a relief and then like from the moment I felt like I had everything in place my water broke 12 hours later and had had her vaginally like I just I don't know I'm like just so grateful that I did not rush things or get like too many interventions like I really that was like the one thing I wanted was just to like wait for her to come on her own time and it all worked out perfectly I'm still shocked I had a feedback you guys like I could have really written it off like basically from the moment I took the pregnancy test it was like yeah I'm probably gonna end up with another c-section like it is what it is now but gosh I've recovered so quickly easiest delivery easiest recovery and she's been our easiest baby.

25:31She only cries when she's hungry. The only downside