In short
Olivia’s House hosts Mark Johnson White, her best friend and flight attendant, for a chaotic catch-up mixing friendship history, celebrity/TV memories, party stories, and a “who’s more likely to” game. They also discuss dating patterns, loyalty, anxiety/trauma, and a few “expose” moments tied to yacht photos and tabloids.
Guest backgrounds
Mark Johnson White is a first-class flight attendant/jet setter. He’s appeared on TV including Desperate Scouse Wives and Crime Watch (per Olivia). They’ve been friends for about 13 years since meeting in Vegas through pageant circles.
Key claims
Mark convinced Olivia to go on Love Island; Olivia says she’s attracted to narcissists/cheats and has “Stockholm Syndrome” after a traumatic six months. They claim a famous Vegas encounter was with an assistant, not the rich person they thought. They say Daily Mail photos covered a topless friend with an absurdly tiny ink square.
Notable examples
Zero Gravity Beach Club/skydiving nostalgia; a concussion from a dunking incident on a yacht; Ibiza naked shower memories; Pasha/Sonny Fadera night where Olivia was mobbed; “Scream 7” mix-up (they thought it was funny, not horror).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOOlivia's Turbulent Past
0:00 to 0:32
Olivia reflects on a challenging six months and her decision to join Love Island.
“I saved chicken and beef getting the real world.”
Olivia's Turbulent Past
1:33 to 2:55
Olivia reflects on a challenging six months and her decision to join Love Island.
“But if I'm being honest, it's one of those things that's really easy to forget.”
Mark's Insights on Exes
3:30 to 5:04
Mark and Olivia share humorous anecdotes about their past relationships.
“That's all I say when I come to your house.”
Pageants and Fame
5:04 to 7:26
A nostalgic discussion about their past experiences in pageants and television.
“He used to steal my makeup and then gaslight me that I was going mad.”
Lessons from Each Other
7:26 to 10:40
Mark and Olivia delve into their friendship and lessons learned over the years.
“You're like, I'm not going to do anything.”
Celebrity Encounters and Mistakes
10:40 to 14:00
Olivia shares a memorable story about a celebrity encounter and its surprising outcome.
“Scarlet Folsom, you should put me arm up my back and was like, gum to my head.”
The Unexpected Assistant
14:00 to 15:00
Mark reveals the truth about a guy Olivia dated, highlighting the shallowness of their former social circle.
“It turns out what he told me about himself was a lie.”
Memorable Ibiza Memories
15:00 to 15:50
Mark reminisces about a memorable holiday in Ibiza, sharing funny anecdotes and the joy of being with friends.
“I just thought off the top of my head, maybe last year in Ibiza when we all naked showered together.”
The Yacht Incident
15:50 to 17:30
A humorous retelling of an incident on a yacht where Olivia was dunked in the water, leading to a wild night.
“No, it was when you got dunked under the water and you were crying.”
The Daily Mail Fiasco
17:30 to 19:10
Mark and Olivia discuss a hilarious photo incident that caught the attention of the media, including embarrassing moments.
“Well, there isn't a brain to concuss anyway.”
Show all 20 chapters
Night Out Stories
19:10 to 21:40
Mark shares tales from nights out with Olivia, highlighting her antics and their shared experiences in the club scene.
“It was like the prince had like splashed a little bit of ink over the nipple.”
Planning the 40th Birthday
21:40 to 24:10
The conversation shifts to Olivia's upcoming 40th birthday, discussing plans and the fun atmosphere expected.
“the gay No Liv Do you remember when we came out to Stringfellows the other week And there was them fellas like Trying to sush you up You know, had your bacon on you Do you remember that?”
Friendship Dynamics
24:10 to 27:40
Mark and Olivia delve into their friendship, discussing arguments, loyalty, and the quirks of their relationship.
“Do you remember when you had the pink hummer?”
Navigating Chaos: A Call for Help
28:01 to 30:45
Listen to a tense moment as Mark reaches out to Olivia during a significant shoot.
“You're one of the inconsistent motherfucker.”
Game Time: Who's More Likely To
31:14 to 39:27
Engage in a fun game where Olivia and Mark reveal their playful sides.
“I've had, every boyfriend I've ever had was meant to be a one night stand.”
The Roast Chicken Hack
39:28 to 42:00
Explore Olivia's unique routine of cooking chicken for meal prep.
“The other morning, I'd had the chicken from Whole Foods.”
A Hilarious Movie Mix-Up
42:00 to 45:14
Olivia recounts a comical experience at the movies when expectations for a horror film turned into confusion.
“She's getting mad, let's see what happens.”
Nail Salon Shenanigans
45:14 to 47:30
Mark shares a touching moment at the nail salon with Olivia, highlighting friendship and emotional vulnerability.
“You'd be the only nun with a bacon in the church.”
Future Aspirations and Miami Dreams
47:30 to 48:26
The hosts discuss their aspirations, including a potential future in Miami, and dream about living luxuriously.
Celebrity Guest Wishlist and Banter
48:26 to 50:40
Mark and Olivia chat about potential celebrity guests for the podcast while sharing humorous banter.
“Jesus of Nazareth give a Miami Mark before I let you go yeah And I let the edit and my PR have the horrendous job of editing this chat.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Olivia Attwood:I've had a traumatic six months. I saved chicken and beef getting the real world. Trauma. I'll show you trauma. You were the one who convinced me to go on Love Island. And I was like, I don't know. I'm not sure about it. And you're like, Olivia. Get your f***ing stupid skinny ass on there. Someone's got to make a Forders. Have you signed an NDA? Scarlet Force. You should put my arm up my back and was like, glum to my head. I'm going to tell this story. F*** it. I've never told it before. Okay, let's talk to my listeners about the yacht pictures with Pete. Tell the whole story. I could have made a massive mistake here.
0:31Olivia Attwood:This has been possibly the last episode of Olivia's House.
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1:27Olivia Attwood:This part of the podcast is brought to you by Tombola, who have teamed up with the charity Breast Cancer Now. Dolls, we talk a lot about checking our breasts. But if I'm being honest, it's one of those things that's really easy to forget. Checking your breasts can literally be something you do in those everyday moments. Like getting ready for a night out, putting on lotion after a shower, watching TV, or listening to a voice note that's just way too long. Just normal life. The more you make it a habit, the easier it is to find time to actually do it. Dolls, as you know, Olivia's house is always open for intimate, nothing off the table conversations.
2:00Olivia Attwood:Honestly, you could even check right now while you're listening to this. I dare you. That is what I really love about what Tombola and the charity Breast Cancer Now are doing. The Tombola community is built around chatting, checking in and supporting each other every day. And they're encouraging people to bring that same energy to breast checking too. Sometimes all it takes is a quick nudge from a friend sending this episode into the group chat or someone simply asking, have you checked recently? Those little reminders are often the thing that actually prompts us to do it, especially when over half of Tombola players have been affected by breast cancer in some way, either personally or through someone they love.
2:39Olivia Attwood:And if there's one thing to take away from this is that checking your breasts should feel regular. So head to the Tombola and Breast Cancer Now Hub. It's filled with a handy infographic on what to look out for and a whole lot of information and content. Then send it to a friend or your group chat as a little reminder to check in on each other too. Because the more we talk about it and encourage each other, the more it becomes a habit we can actually stick to.
3:06Olivia Attwood:Hi dolls, welcome back to Olivia's house. God, I could have made a massive mistake here, but let's see how this goes. By popular demand, I have in my house today. He's always in my other house, so I thought I'd bring him into this house. It's my best friend, Mark! Hey! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Get the fridge open, Liv. That's all I say when I come to your house. What's in the fridge? None of your business. What's normally in my fridge? Water, sparkle water, Diet Coke. No more a zempach. That wasn't yours. What else in there? Gourmet chicken, where we went to... An organic chicken always. An organic, not gourmet, an organic.
3:56Olivia Attwood:Yeah, and some cheese strings, baby bells. Yeah, and in the freezer, there's them big massive bones for the dogs, like ostrich and eggs or something like that. No, they're cow shins. Oh, cow shins. Mark, welcome to my house. Tell me, these sofas are so lovely. Gorgeous. What do you think of this? I love it this set it's like a nice chic little bar where you can have like a bed seat talk to your mate talk about like shit that's gone on in the week can we swear on this yeah babe I wouldn't have a show would I you stupid god you'll end up getting cancelled after this one well we I have told everyone that this is at their own risk shaking like a leaf okay Mark you're here you're in my house yeah may live to regret it you may get me cancelled so many things could happen you know the show I hope as my best friend yeah of course what would you like to leave at the door ex-boyfriends honey what about ex-husbands and may they rot in hell a plague on their houses Etsy case anyone watching wants to do an Etsy case link in bio and how long have you got because we've got a few exes between us I dated some rotters didn't I and you we're like we're worldies why was we allowing people to do this to us I don't know what it is with me I get attracted to like do you know what I think it is you know this what's it called your dad's intelligent like there's like that abandonment thing what's it called like someone's got like a attachment avoidance yeah because I didn't know you like chasing I chase them and I'm like look at myself and think you better fucking grow the fuck up and know who the fuck you are I attract these psychopaths I know and I've had a right mix I've had narcissists I've had cheats I've had things I have one that used to steal my makeup What?
5:44Olivia Attwood:He used to steal my makeup and then gaslight me that I was going mad. And not to steal it so I couldn't use it, just steal it so he could put it on his own face. Going up to the Surrey Hills putting lipstick on and looking himself in the mirror. Well, what have I flouted you about? You landed in from New York this morning. Oh yeah, Cosmopolitan. So those that you don't know, Mark is a flight attendant and he is one of the best. He's a jet setter. I'm a first class flight attendant, girls and boys. But our listeners may know you from somewhere else Not Crime Watch Don't put the Scouse voice and my face on Crime Watch You should be on Crime Watch But you're not You might know the show Desperate Scouse Wives If you are a TV connoisseur I was Mark was on TV before me Yeah, I was on the OJ, wasn't I?
6:30Olivia Attwood:Mark was on TV before me And he was on Desperate Scouse Wives with his ex-husband You had a little shop
6:38Olivia Attwood:a plague on his house. Get an Etsy case right now. Get an Etsy witch. I think they've stopped paying yours and paid mine because my love life's up the wall. It must be an Etsy witch. I'm tormented. I'm like Jesus of Nazareth. It's a cutis. Off the face of the earth. No one knows. But that's another story we'll get into. You was on telly. Yeah. You were the one who convinced me to go on Love Island. Yeah. Do you remember I was like, came out to Dubai to see you and I was like, I don't know, I'm not sure about it. You're like, Olivia, get your ass. You're like, I'm not on the telly anymore. One of us has to be on the telly.
7:12Olivia Attwood:You've got to pay my bills. My husband's too tight with money. But I remember we were in, what was that place where you bungee jumped over? Oh my God, no, it was Drift. It used to be The Club. Do you remember Drift? No, it wasn't Drift. It wasn't Drift. Where you had a skydive over there. Club Zero Gravity. Club, just Zero Gravity, no club. Oh God. How old are we? 76. That was really lame, wasn't it? It was. Zero Gravity Beach Club. You're like, I'm not going to do anything. Get your fucking stupid skinny ass on there. Someone's got to make it for us. And I was on the phone. God, this is like so nostalgia.
7:44Olivia Attwood:I was on the phone to Brad and I was going, I love this guy. And you were going, he'll still be there when you get out. And he was. And look at you now. Never look back. Oh, no. Look where he is. In the bin. In the strip. Where did he go? I'm joking. Brad don't kick me in shins. Never seen you. but I also remember don't give me a dick don't give me a dick I need these shun caps I remember going to the Armani lounge do you remember that day in the Armani lounge is that when that guy fell off the back of that chair yes a guy was wasted and he fell off the back of his chair I actually knew it was so embarrassing I was like Liv I'm so sorry he's with me do you remember my old nose Jesus ten nights we are going to attach some pictures guys for the edit we I mean if like they wouldn't find us now if those are the photos they use.
8:32Olivia Attwood:We have completely different faces. Truly, we could have robbed banks back then. You was like an anteater. An anteater? I was like faking off all of her twists. You were like Nancy. It was just... I looked rough as arseholes. How was I a model with that face? Do you know what, though? I remember first seeing you in Vegas and I used to be obsessed with Britney Spears and I remember you had this bleach blonde hair, these tits like rocks underneath your chin and I was like, Miss Surrey. You had Miss Surrey on the side. No, London, wasn't it? Oh, look, you were sorry and, you know, you're done too.
9:04You're done London and sorry for the two years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh my God, Miss Surrey is the model of Britney Spears. I've got to be her mate.
9:09Olivia Attwood:Okay, we'll give the guys the context now. Okay. We, I used to do pageants. Loved a pageant. Loved getting in my swimwear. Loved strutting it about. Loved any excuse not to do something proper. Just loved manipulating men for money and attention. Loved money. Loved attention. You shy? Never. And you and your ex-husband were, you... Etty kiss. plague were the head of hair and makeup for a particular pageant. Well, let's face it, my makeup, you walked out like RuPaul after that, don't you? You walked in a 10, walked out a 2. You've never met someone who gave less of a shit about their job, suppose a job, than you?
9:47I just turned off for the suntan.
9:49Olivia Attwood:Literally, these girls would be turning up to the hotel, so they'd be like, oh, I've got a 10am makeup. He'd be in the gym lifting weights, down the road getting Starbucks, outside by the pool frying himself. Do you know my mate Olivia? Do you want to give her money later to gamble? Because Olivia has never been tight. So when she used to get all the chips, she'd go, yeah, put them in yours. And I'd be like, are you sure? Spread the wealth. Spread the wealth. What a socialist I am. We met in Vegas and we basically, on the pageant, we've been inseparable ever since. We've been friends for, so I was 21, I'm 34 now.
10:22Olivia Attwood:How long was that? 13 years. Carol Vorderman, suck on that. Apparently, if your friendship lasts over 10 years, it will last a lifetime. I mean, we have had some fragile moments. Mark, if we weren't friends now, I'd have to kill you. I know, because I know too much. I'd have to kill you. I would have, like, a best-selling book. Like, I would have to kill you. The son would make a fortune off me. Have you signed an NDA? Scarlet Folsom, you should put me arm up my back and was like, gum to my head. You better fucking sign it. Scarlet, my agent. Could I be like that? Well, after we had a snake in the camp, I can't be.
10:56You were warned You were warned And you just didn't listen I can guide you But if you're not going to follow You'll fall off the cliff You're soft
11:05Olivia Attwood:So stupid I know I'm looking at you now So your first impressions of me Was that you thought I was Britney I was obsessed And I thought She's going to be So pretentious And facetious Because I remember You used to walk in And all the men would go Bing And everyone would just be like Look and I'd think Why aren't they like that with me? Fucking bitch Little slag and then when we met I was like oh my god you're really cool she's like yeah you too I think we got like a big king of the five guys or something did we? yeah you probably had sushi you know coming from to be fair though coming from the background I was councillor at McDonald's and you were having sushi I did used to be a lot of junk back then I could eat what I wanted I could eat I had a six pack you were like the George Selbun you just kept on going I know and I used to work out oh god like every day even when I was hungover if I'm hungover now I need 999 like I see the light I think I'm going to pass into the next life I mean when I stayed in yours the other week and you were just on the surface that's the first time I've ever seen you stop I had to rub you like a genie in the lamp you were alive I thought I was going to die you didn't wake up I was checking your pockets for a 50 checking the bags which one's the more expensive one I woke up from my nap and he was in the safe all you could see is his feet you indeed we were watching The Devil Wears Prada and where the phone goes off she went can you turn that off I've got anxiety
12:24I'm sorry It's on volume two.
12:26Olivia Attwood:This phone rang and I literally, my head in the ceiling. I'm a nervous wreck at the minute, though. What is wrong with you? I've had a traumatic six months. I saved chicken and beef, got in the real world. Trauma. I'll show you trauma. I've been in the Stockholm Syndrome for the last year. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I don't know whether I want to shit or vomit. My life's in turmoil. I'm persecuting. I'm going to have to have a sip. Right, I'm going to sip that. Go get us another beer. Guys, I knew this was going to happen. She said to my producer, get us another beer. You've tried that in two gulps.
13:01Olivia Attwood:This is a Wetherspoons, love. This is Olivia's house. I'm a growing lad. I'll be singing George Michael in a minute down this mic. Right. Let's try and get through some of these points. One of your... There's two made a name, but give... God, how can we even do this? Our funniest memory together. Funniest memory was probably... I can't say. about you teaching us not to fuck the help because they're not important.
13:32Oh my God,
13:33Olivia Attwood:my publicist is going to have a fit. Very famous guy in America. I'm going to tell this story. Fuck it. I've never told it before. I'm scared of what I'm going to say. So is anyone who's watched Sex and the City with the episode that Vince Vaughn is in and Carrie Bradshaw? I got Vince Vaughn'd. So if you've watched it, you have. If you haven't, you have it. we met a very, very famous guy at his mansion in the MGM mansions in Vegas. I met what I thought was one of his friends, who was also a big player. But hold on, let me just caveat this. I actually don't care. You guys made a big deal out of it.
14:08Olivia Attwood:Anyway, slept with the guy. It turns out what he told me about himself was a lie. He was, in fact, the guy's assistant. You know, didn't have a pot to piss him. He was wearing his watches and his clothes. And I was like, Liv, I don't think he's rich. She's like, I don't care, he's hot. And I was like, she went, he's got an AP watch on. I was like, an AP? What's an AP? She's like, oh, Mark, he won't understand. Anyway, she goes missing, comes back. And then it turns out, who do figure? But I don't actually care. Everyone else made a big deal. The group we were rolling with that time were very, like, it was like, who you know, like, who you've been with.
14:43Olivia Attwood:It was, everyone was so, like, shallow and money obsessed. It was a surprise. I've never been like that. I just thought he was hot. I didn't care. Okay, so you've just described everything that you was at that time. Money obsessed. Was he hung like a horse or not? Was this going to be a mistake? I don't know. I've been drinking for five days. Right. One of our funniest memories together. I just thought off the top of my head, maybe last year in Ibiza when we all naked showered together. That was the best. Do you know when they say when you die, you go to the best place? That holiday will be when I die.
15:19Not even like getting married. This IB for last year. It was sensational.
15:23Olivia Attwood:Was the best holiday of my life. It was their best time. And we've been on so many holidays. There was just the group of us, like there wasn't one person that was a problem or a dick or like, you know, there wasn't one disagreement. We just had the best time. And like you'd look out and it looked like it was a move. You'd like to be like that summer haze on the yacht. We laughed. We laughed. We got naked, showered together. we got dressed together we got ready together it was so we shared beds together I broke the beds if you remember this is my life I threw himself onto the bed at Ockham and broke the bloody spindles because he's built like a bison I was on the steroids my fucking neck was the size of a house snapped the bed in two do you know what Mark let's actually talk okay let's talk to my listeners about the yacht pictures with Pete because this is a there's a funny story here just as a subtext okay I was obviously leaning back on him like on the yacht but nothing happened tell the whole story but the pictures the actual hat came back was funny right so I'm like leant back on him and whatever our friend Megan but let's go first when that woman dunked her do you remember Rebecca is the name she dunked do you remember she slipped drunk and dunked her do you remember Grace no she took me in the head what the hell you were getting out off the board you know like that board where you jump do you not remember where was you did she give me a concussion because I don't remember she kicked me in the head she dunked her she waterboarded her what do you mean dunked me like push me in was she even in this wait what Olivia was you even there so when you were getting out of the water you know when you get in that like bawdy bit you're getting out and she was rotten fell down the stairs slid and dunked her so she waterboarded her and you were upset do you remember this no is that why someone got her doctor in here wait so is that why he was cuddling me yeah so when you got out you were crying and I was laughing I remember hitting my head, but I thought I hit it inside.
17:21No, it was when you got dunked under the water and you were crying. And I don't see you cry at all, so I thought it was funny.
17:27Olivia Attwood:Now you're saying, I remember hitting my head, but I don't remember how it happened. I had a concussion. Guys, you shouldn't have let me drink. Well, there isn't a brain to concuss anyway.
17:38It went...
17:39Olivia Attwood:Okay, so then basically we're on the boat and our friend Megan, Megan Elliot, who we love, we adore her. She's my second sister. She's my blood, my family. But Lover, sometimes she, a couple of sandwiches short of the whole picnic. So sometimes she comes out of things and we go, oh, shut up, Megan. So anyway, she goes, we're in the middle of the ocean, right? And not posted anything for days. There's a catamaran. So like, if you don't have a catamaran, it's one of those boats that has like two bits and then the middle bit is like, it's a weird boat. It's just a random ass boat. And she goes, it was quite far away.
18:14Olivia Attwood:She goes, someone's taking pictures of us off that boat. I saw a flash it was massive and we go shut up Megan we were all taking the piss shut up Megan someone's taking pictures of us who do you think you are fucking Jennifer Aniston like we were actually mocking her for it and then she was like no I swear and I carried on about our business next day we're at the pool I'm so hungover again I think I'm going to die I'm on the bed I'm on the bed and she comes in and she goes told you told you didn't I everyone laughed at me look at you now and then she was getting all like I told you told you anyway she's getting shut up megan shut up megan she's she's scrolling through and she's going oh i knew it i knew i saw him and she's like shut her tits out so let's put this into contextual form she's like this i've got bigger tits i'm getting ganamasty done in a couple of weeks i've got bigger tits than megan and we were laughing because the daily mail put it up and literally this is no exaggeration for the effect of the story i went why have they even wasted the ink trying to cover your nipple.
19:16It was like the prince had like splashed a little bit of ink over the nipple.
19:20Olivia Attwood:They put a square over her nipple that I'm not joking was half a millimetre by half. It was so offensive because they really wanted the readers to understand she was topless. She hasn't had a boob job. Mark told us she needed one. I told her she did not. She's got boobs like a supermodel. She needs them. Okay. So that was funny. We have a lot. We hang out. We have chill time. We have real time. Let's go back to the picture with Pete. That was it? Yeah, and then everyone kept on coming over to me going, what's going on? I was like, what's going on? What's it like with... I know what you're going to say.
19:53What's it like with people knowing that I knew you?
19:55Olivia Attwood:Yeah. Persecuted. I'm like, I am a being as well. I have a heart and soul. They're like, oh my God, what's Olivia like? Is she really nice? I'm like, she's a c***. She can rot in hell. And she can get a job. And she can ram it up her ass. Okay. Mark what's the drunkest you've ever seen me oh my god the drunkest was when we went to Sonny Fadera in Pasha I couldn't even recognise her like I don't suffer from anxiety but that night I've seen you in the worst states of my whole life but that night in Pasha like I thought she's not going to come back from this you was destroyed and you had these like red romper knickers on and everyone was going Olivia Olivia and Sonny Fadera wasn't even getting it no one was even interested they just wanted pictures with you and I was like no pictures no pictures I was loving the limelight and I remember thinking I was going to grab my fucking arm and stand up you stupid bastard and I had a hold of it lean it up and then I didn't think they were going to let us in do you remember?
21:00Olivia Attwood:Yeah and they made me wear these massive sunglasses they were like this big they were so dark you were like Posh Spice I couldn't see anything it was like I was going skiing I was like and then we got in and I thought she's not coming out of this but do you know what one thing and I always say to everyone you always take the time can we have a picture can I picture I'm like no you're like no come on get a picture because they're my huns I don't want to ever like reject one of my huns in the wild I love that I know you're always like wipe the slobber off your mouth you stupid dirty cow I'm like she's not with me I'm just the security guard why do you do it to me I've got street cred I know like what do you think the gay No Liv Do you remember when we came out to Stringfellows the other week And there was them fellas like Trying to sush you up You know, had your bacon on you Do you remember that?
Read the full transcript
21:49Olivia Attwood:No You do when I acted dead straight What, have I got amnesia? I don't remember anything Today on Mark's house We're going to be interviewing Olivia Who was once a former host of here Do you remember? And he was like talking And I was like Get your bag And you were like Why am I going to try and rob you? And you were like Get your watch I can hold me on And all my dishes, my bed Do you remember now? Yes I do This is my beard. I'm going to put it in a taxi, all right? He said, no, no, no, I want a picture of the beard. Back off, mate. I'll snap your jaw if you carry on. Walked away. I was like that.
22:21Oh, my God, Olivia, quick. Call you, but we're going to get murdered.
22:24Olivia Attwood:So Mark does, like, code switching when he's drunk to protect us. He does, like, he goes mask straight. Mask to mask. Rough scouser. And, like, because you're a big guy, people fucking back the fuck off. And I can fight. Oh, can I? I've seen it my hands like shovels who gets more attention in the gay bar me or you? you you I said to you last time because we always go to this club called Freedom and it's like shout out Freedom it's like shout out Freebottle but like when she goes we goes in a couple of weeks ago and there's like this like cabaret thing and Olivia walks in and the obsessor and she goes I want to sit on this table it's really fun so the security comes over and goes to the whole table they're like the talent singers you remember they were all the people singing and he's like no no no Olivia wants to sit in oh no I don't want to impose we sit there you get on the pole she's upside down she's inside out okay so talking of parties and celebrations which one of my parties or events has been your favourite um did love your 30th that was amazing remember in Manchester yeah that was amazing the dress code was whack it was amazing but then this party I proper loved because this year was the best I think it was the right crowd and it it was an amazing like set everyone was looked after it was like a proper boss vibe the DJ was amazing the hotel was amazing we did it at Broadwick and Soho it was smaller than I normally do it's like what 30, 40 people maybe oh heaven forbid I'll be lucky in me 40 that we got 10 so your 40th is coming up oh my god your big 4-0 and I'm not going to spoil the surprise but we are probably going to do we're going to do a few things but we are going to go back to Ibiza and we are going to have a day that's dedicated to the birthday Can I please have the pink hummer that you had?
24:11Do you remember when you had the pink hummer?
24:13Olivia Attwood:My hen do. I thought you meant a real one. They held me above an ocean. Yeah, I want the pink hummer. I was so frightened for my life. Mark, how are they going to lift you? You were so, what the fuck are you trying to say? I'm very delicate. I'm just big bones. They had me on my hen do in this hummer above the crowd. They go, hey, hey, hey, and I'm in the thing. But it went on for too long. She looked like... So it went on. I'm not joking. went on for about seven, eight minutes. The crowd started to lose it. Everyone started to lose interest. My own friends and family had just gone back to their drinks and their food and I was still getting, hey, hey, hey, hey.
24:47Olivia Attwood:Still getting castred around the pool on the third lap. Like the Formula 1. I was going, I can get out now. It's fine. They go, hey, hey. I was like, sorry, hi, hi. I can get out. That's the most. I've ever seen you embarrassed in your whole life. I was like, I was getting a whiplash. Hey, hey, hey. She's like, Barbie, tell you how to do your biceps after they're working out. Oh my God. coming round like... Okay, people want to know if we've ever had an argument. Semi. Like I googled us the other day. How weird is this? I googled us. I googled us saying, who is Mark Johnson White, or whatever that was, and said, someone googled it, says something like, friends for many years, but have had copious amounts of spats.
25:30I was like, I've had one.
25:31Olivia Attwood:I think that we've not fell out. No, we haven't fell out. We've never fell out. But do you remember the wedding dress story? well there's okay i've got a lot i've got a few gay friends in my life and one thing you all have in common is you're all evil and what happens is when a story gets leaked about me they all start winding each up going live thinks it's you live thinks it's you so someone had leaked what was my wedding dress a specific someone and someone told Mark that I thought it was him I never did so he had the um thinking that I thought but I never thought it was you I was in a terrible mood but why didn't you ask me I think it was the steroids I must have been like all pumped up and I thought I'm going to end up snapping a jaw on a wedding day she'd be walking in and getting waltzed out in a wheelchair with a wire stuck to a chair I need to lay off them steroids what's my best traits you are loyal to the death and I always say like I broke up my boyfriend not so long ago it's a few emotional times and he was like if you ever need anything I love you so much fuck off you can always reach out to him whatever you earn me maintain sometimes so if I need it I'll ask it alright so he's like that with an etsy case now but be like Jack and Rose was on my 40th on a boat.
27:01The Etsy case in full swing.
27:04Olivia Attwood:What was my worst trait? Fucking not answering a WhatsApp. Oh. I'm not going to go into specifics because it's personal information. It's the ADHD. Your worst trait is when I really need you to do something and you're like, Mark, I'm on the biggest shoot of my life. Is this necessary? I was like, I'm on death's door. Mark calls me and he I'm on a big shoot I'm on actually I can say I was on the Garnier shoot Sweaty Palms I'm not going to say what it is what he called me to tell me was so ridiculous and bear in mind as you guys have probably worked out Mark is a wind-up merchant like I could message Mark and be like oh how's blah blah and he'd go oh my god Liv did not tell you he's been fired like he but he's always winding me up so I never know so if he rings me around on this photo shoot and he's like Liv blah blah blah blah it's something quite unbelievable I'm not going to say what it is and I'm at a garden issue I'm not joking there's a hundred people on this set like a biggest my exact words were Mark I'm on the biggest shoot of my life I don't have time for this put the phone down there's a message going Liv I'm being fucking serious I need your help you're the only person I can change you and she's like you're lying stop winding me up I'm like ah fuck off that's what happens to the boy that cried wolf never again I didn't believe him until like later that night.
28:25Olivia Attwood:Never. And you were like in tears. And I was like, wait, is this real? And you're like, Liv, it's real. I was like, do you know you? You're one of the inconsistent motherfucker. I can't believe you. Okay, your best trait, you're loyal as well. Loyal to the death. That's why we've been friends so long. And like you can just light up a space. Like you're the only person that can get me out of a bad mood. Oh God. genuinely I'll agree to disagree last week you were in a terrible mood I was like I was scared to ask you would you like a drink no I felt like I was watching The Devil Wears Prada I had no sound I can lip read now it's a new skill of a quiet and your worst trait is the boy who cries wolf your dating life me dating life is horrendous like watching a car crash you can't even let me like get my attention for my divorce without trying to have a million traumas.
29:23Olivia Attwood:I was divorced first. I was on TV first, you get on TV. I was divorced first, you get divorced. I get a new boyfriend, but you're still to find one. I'm doing a good job though. Well, are you? What dating advice would you give me? I'd say, stop being so masculine, being independent, because you always want it like, no, I'll get this. You need to let people look after you. Stop being so manly. Yeah, you're being mannered. I'll pay the bill mate let the man do the work you need to give them a bit of testosterone in the body and then I'd say don't talk about yourself we all know what you're about fuck off you've got to like you've got to swallow that pride and just be like tell me about you and when he starts saying he's a banker or something you should be like we all know about you I don't talk about myself do I?
30:13no but we all know about you so you can't talk about yourself because you're like yeah I already never watch you
30:22Olivia Attwood:good sleep is everything that's why ollie's science back support is made with a blend of melatonin and l-theanine for both kiddos and grown-ups so when your mind won't switch off you've got something that can help erasing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance find ollie's sleep solutions for the whole family at ollie.com that's o-l-l-y.com so good so good so good new summer arrivals are at nordstrom rack stores now get ready to save big with up to 60 off brands like rag and bone levi's adidas and free people join the nordy club to unlock exclusive discounts shop new arrivals first and more plus buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free great brands great prices that's why you rack right we're gonna play a game we're gonna play no dildos please for god's sake i haven't had sex in five weeks we're gonna play who's more likely to right i'll read the statement and then we'll well we'll point each other but we'll also say the name because if someone's listening to not watching right are you ready who's more likely to shag the sheets
31:44shag the sheets yeah oh well if you're i'll tell you not fair i feel ashamed of you what's it mean means like when you what's it mean i'll tell you when you're 18 okay who's more likely to have a one night stand three two one you're gonna get me meters from the stocking syndrome
32:08Olivia Attwood:this is bible truth right i'm going on record can we all just say a moment of peace to my publicist because there's no way for this episode to go out without it causing murders and i actually don't care anymore i have had two one night stands in my life do you know why because i've tried to have many more, they don't leave. Oh. I've had, every boyfriend I've ever had was meant to be a one night stand. Every boyfriend? But you kept them there. They just didn't leave. They refused to leave. Do you blame them when you're paying the bills, being all masculine? I've got this, Derek. That's on me. But do you know what it is?
32:49You're giving the good pee. The good
32:52Olivia Attwood:brrrr. Once you taste it, you don't want to go anywhere else. I've never had a complaint. Well, I never did. lying in the bed like that in the next room. What's it like being in the next door room? I'm like, shag on the sheets. Now you know what it means. Who's more likely to send a risky text? Me. Mark. Me. I say, I type things and then like, it comes back historical two years later. I'm like, why the fuck did I even say that? He was having a text, you know, discussion with someone the other week and he was texting so furiously the vein in his neck I literally I looked across the table I said Mark you're going to give yourself a stroke no you didn't so I'm like texting she goes Mark and I'm like what in she you're going to give yourself a stroke I went my anxiety's through the roof can we just take it down a notch I was shaking like a leaf wasn't I who's more likely to snog a stranger you yeah to be fair I'm lip-synch everyone when I've had a drink man, woman, cat, dog owl goat horse, pig I am everyone's getting a snog two Sambucas and your anyone's the amount of times I've tried to snog you and he's had to face plant me onto the floor is amazing I've just I love kissing people also just what's a kiss when we're all friends well you know I mean we've had Nika Chavez together well I know everyone goes have you got pictures I'm like yes and it's not for your the picture of us naked in the shower he's on top of me I I can't really survive bear in mind at the time she was like five stone went through I was about 18 what am I now like five and a half went through you go in the gym it's muscle mass you've got a bum and I'm like crushing her she's like a tomato red roll who's more likely to have a secret kink me because I'm quite I've got a kink what is it?
34:39Olivia Attwood:being taken the piss out of in bed by men in life oh yeah literally taking you for a ride taking the piss out of you except the gays the gays can't get a look in but yeah yeah you oh my god what is yours Mark? Can't tell you. I feel ashamed. The national now. Why is it freaky? Yeah. Like, no, how bad? Like, oh no, I can't. I feel ashamed. Oh no, is it something that get you in trouble? Yeah. What? It's kinky. It's PG-13. I don't need to know this about my friends. Who's more likely to be able to talk themselves out of a parking ticket? You. You. That's what fake titties are for. Although, No, I, tell me how I say that.
35:26Olivia Attwood:Nothing works on them. I've never, once maybe in my life, I've caught him and I've managed to stop him halfway. What's like the other week? You got away with three parking tickets. Do you remember when we went to that garden centre? That was just luck. Who's, we went to a garden centre, yeah, believe it or not. I don't think we can answer this. Go, say it. Who's more likely to date two people at once?
35:52Today on Olivia's House,
35:54Olivia Attwood:Oh God, sorry guys, we had a connection problem there. The answer's both. We'll just take one for the team. Who's more likely to send a sexy picture? Me. Do you remember Christmas? You're running like a photo studio in that house. Oh, he actually said that, didn't he? I could do with one of these lights in my house because this really shows my skin tone off. I'm terrible for them. But do you know what? like I'm not a slut or like slaggy with it but I'll actually look at myself and go damn I'm hung like a horse I love that you know I've felt it against my thigh for the men and women listening what is the key to a good nude selfie?
36:37you've got to for a man you've got to turn your hips slightly out so your shoulders look dead broad you've got to like pull your balls down so you because we love like saggy I love a saggy ball
36:47Olivia Attwood:give them a bit of a tug so they're hanging yeah pull them down like do you find saggy balls sexy? I can't say that I do oh god no but I wouldn't want them to be like well not fucking by your ankles like a pair of fucking tennis balls I guess maybe yeah I wouldn't want them to be like so tight like you know like like they're talking like a D minor high pitch tone now I love like a saggy ball and like when you're hung like a horse it just really accentuates your body and I love like a big thigh and what sort of lighting? fucking doesn't matter because you're not looking at the lighting are you?
37:17Olivia Attwood:oh so lighting is do you do it selfie in the mirror? how do you do it yeah I wouldn't take like one like that on myself I'd probably like pose them because a lot of the boys on Grindr they love the like above like that like MySpace if someone sent me that I'd smash the face clean in I'd be like what the fuck is that by the way I don't use Grindr for the record I'm far too classy I'm a friend with a celebrity who's more likely to go skinny dipping both of us we love getting naked we'd fucking strip each other off and be jumping in hand in hand like Thelma and Louise ball sacking your hand nipple in mine hand in hand somersaulting in who's more likely to get arrested both of us I actually have nearly been arrested before who's more likely to have a secret admirer well obviously it's going to be you I mean we went to Moxon Spencer through the weekend do you remember that woman in the aisle do you remember Mark have I got like something wrong with me listen I'm going to do a Britney Spears with you I'm going to take the power of attorney give me your bank account your car your flat and I'll look after you.
38:20It's going into conservatorship, whatever it's called. I'm hanging me wings up and I'm going to look after you 24-7. If you piss yourself, I'll change your nappy, okay?
38:30Olivia Attwood:I, Mark, I can't remember a thing. This is petrifying. When was there being M &S? What were we doing in there? When we went the other day, you had me carrying all the bags like an owl donkey. Waitrose. Heaven forbid it was jolly. you bought that organic goose and I looked at it it was like an emuch it was like horrendous thought if you're putting that near your mouth you need to stick your head in the bin this is the weirdest thing guys okay and the other morning I don't know Grace we said one I didn't film this on social media why did I do it every morning every day no what was I saying once a week I cook I live on my own I cook a full size roast chicken in the oven okay and this will change your life if you're not vegetarian and I cook it in the oven and then I cut it all off and I put it on a plate with cling film and then me and the girls me and my dog's loaded in stitch we eat the chicken over the coming days so it's always I always have fresh chicken in the oven so it's like if I'm hungry rather than going eating some crap I'll eat some chicken a bit of salt on it a bit of mayo or I'll put it in a salad but I've always got some protein and the girls they love a bit of organic chicken in with their biscuits, everybody wins.
39:46Olivia Attwood:The other morning, I'd had the chicken from Whole Foods. The chicken cost like fucking 35 quid and I hadn't cooked it and it was going to be the day it goes out of date. So I got up in the morning, it was 5am and I put the chicken in the oven, took the dogs for a walk because it was like the heat wave so I had to get them out at 5. And I came back and there was a chicken roast in the oven and I was like, I'm a freak. It's half 5 in the morning and I'm roasting a chicken. Let me just put this into context. The chicken that you bought the other day looked like I'd been on a Zemper for five years.
40:13I thought you're just literally buying bone and skin.
40:16Olivia Attwood:Mark. Why have you just paid£35 for that chicken? It's because it's organic. I couldn't give a fuck whether it was coming from Mars. It looked unhealthy. But why do you think the organic ones are so much skinnier than the big, the normal ones? Because they're full of chemicals. Just put a GMO in your body, you'll be fine. You'll put waste in there full of Botox and collagen and fillers. That chicken looked unhealthy. It was organic. And it was free range. So they get skinny because they run around. they had a good life oh yeah so that's what that's what I do anyway it's a good hack if you're not vegetarian just eat the chicken the exempted chicken I love it but when we were in the wait what was it waitrose waitrose like people just look and I love the attention I'm like I'll pick up she's looking at me and then realise she's got her head like a base couch and a big scruffy bun like a big jumper on she looks homeless I'm dressed to kill like I'm the celebrity and people are looking I'm like look she's looking she's like she's not looking at you she's looking at me alright Right.
41:13Sit the fuck down.
41:15Olivia Attwood:I walk around in some states, don't I? Do you remember when we went to the Odeon to watch James Scream 7? Oh, my God. Guys, so if I'm not working, and when people ask me for selfies, if any of you are listening that have had a selfie with me, I feel ashamed because I think, oh, they're going to show their pals that. But I'll never say no, but I walk around like a scruff when I'm not working. I really do. She literally looked like she was homeless. So he goes to watch Scream 7. Wait, hold on, Mark. tell the story about going to see Scream. So Liv goes, I'm going to take us all to go and see Scream 7 so we have these big like comfy beds.
41:47Olivia Attwood:And the reason I said that is because I wanted a laugh. A laugh. So we're sitting, this woman's getting her head slit off and stabbed in the breast and she's like getting, putting her full Nelson on the floor while she's getting her head smashed against the sides. And we're all going, oh! All in shock. And she turns around and she goes, oi! And I go, oh shh. She's getting mad, let's see what happens. And she's going, oi! And I went, what? let me watch it, will you? And she goes, where's the spoofs? And I went, what? She went, the funny bits. And I went, fuck are you on about the funny bits? It screams heaven.
42:20People are getting massacred, do you? And she goes, I thought it was supposed to be funny. And I thought it was like some sadistic centre human. She thought it was a scary movie. She actually thought we went to see a scary movie.
42:31Olivia Attwood:I got it mixed up. So she went, let's go for a nice blast outside. No, we had to leave because he was laughing so much because he couldn't believe that I thought, because he said to me in dinner before I was going do you know what I need to watch a silly film that makes you laugh and I was wondering why no one was really I think they're thinking are you a freak like it's a horror film I thought this came I thought this would be funny so then obviously he's laughing wheezing so much me and him had to walk out I fell up the stairs going out made this big commotion everyone's like that shh so as we go out there's this girl who's taking like an episode she sat down I don't know if she was like hung over or she was a really pale bless her and she was like she looked like she was going to be sick.
43:11Olivia Attwood:She was sat with a bag. I don't know. I did check on her. So Liv goes... She looked really ill. I said, are you okay? I said, can I get anything for you? And then she looks at me and she goes, are you off Love Island? And I was like, no. And she went, he's not, but I am. So she went, oh yeah, can I get a picture? And I'm looking at Liv thinking, you cannot get a picture with this girl. You've got like, your hair looks like it's got 16 animals living in it. It was just like a big hibernation nest. like a scrap of makeup on a hairband a big oversized hoodie and she's sitting there bold as punch smiling every veneer hanging on to her but this girl was so funny because it was like she was passing away but then when she saw us it's like she made an instant recovery she was like oh she resurrected from the dead have I got healing powers?
43:57it was amazing but not but me you haven't I'm like that Liv touched me give me a rub
44:01Olivia Attwood:that's one thing I can't bear can I cuddle him? well as well I broke up my boyfriend and Liv goes look come and see me I'm getting my nails done so goes to see you in this nail salon I can't say for shit can I no you're blind to that this woman's about 70 sitting again hair like a bird's nest over thoughts and was Olivia from behind she goes Mark she's getting this one nail fixed and I sits there feeling sorry wasn't that heartbreaking to be honest yeah I hate seeing you I hate seeing any of my friends is that the worst you've ever seen me yeah he was tearful and upset and then I sat there and this one tear come down and she looked at me and goes she doesn't know to like really give emotion she's like looking at me like I just shit my hands and clapped it and she's going so she's like are you okay and I'm like I'm just happy I don't know what I'm going to do and she goes with her hands and things she goes one second you'll be alright is that the same colour and I'm like are you for fucking real no I held your hand for a minute like the Pope you're like snatched away she snatched it away but it was healing I felt better and then you took me the ivy for dinner okay there you go and then you made me carry rocks from the garden centre I needed some rocks from the garden centre for my balcony I love when Mark does the heavy lifting for me it's like having a boyfriend who's more likely to get married again next oh god Mark is it for our 30s and we'll be on our second marriages I'll be in my fucking 40s at this rate but we're there who do you think just doing my psychic reading it's you is it me do you want to know something go on it's to a woman her name's Brenda she's got three sovereigns on and she pulls pints at the local pub
45:55no I actually think it's you because if my love life continues the way it is I'll be in the fucking convent
46:02Olivia Attwood:okay who's more likely to give up their life to religion Yeah, because it pays well. People give that charity money in. You'd be the only nun with a bacon in the church. Empty in the 50s. I'll be like, I always thought myself a bit of a cult leader. I'd be like, what's his name from the Top Gun movies? The Scientologist. No, Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. No, you'd be like, I think you'd be like a Sarah Jessica Parker as the chief nun. Like the sexy, stylish one. You're not thinking of nuns, you're thinking of Hocus Pocus. They're witches. Oh yeah, she's a witch, isn't she? Who's more likely to move to another country?
46:38You.
46:39Olivia Attwood:Do you think? I think you're going to go to like LA or something next. Do you reckon? Yeah. Do you know what? I've always said it and I'm dead good with my intuition. I feel like you're going to go to like, you know, when you go to like the Met Gala or like the red carpet of the Oscars, I think that'll be you next. Really? Yeah. And do you know, if you fucking don't take me next year, there's going to be fucking ructions. Do you know, it'll piss you off. I had an invite to the Golden Globes. I couldn't even fucking go. In February? Yeah. why because the film in the show they would not because you've got to think it's LA I'd have to fly that's like at 12 hours doing it and getting back I'd have lost like three days minimum three days it's the golden globes you stupid car I was in contract and I could not not be on location for filming we did try would you not say you'd have to shits and just take three days off I'd have done that for some other event if it comes up again we'll gather yeah now I'm going to plan better in advance but yeah do you know where this is so random I don't know career wise if I still want to be on telly I don't know how it'd work but I could see myself more than I think LA has gone really weird and I think it's gone it's just a bit of a mess and the vibe has changed I could see myself living in Miami oh I'm obsessed wouldn't you see me living in South Beach no you'd be in like Bal Harbour oh my god wouldn't I a yacht at the end of your garden oh my god we'd be having lunches I'd be the cool boy called Juan okay I'm going to change my name to Juan Juan Juan I'll do like your pools and clean it you're just paying me allowing to live in the beach I love Miami there's no place in the world like obsessed with it but everyone's moving there because it's tax free or something oh well I didn't want to mention but that was half the reason so I tried but I love Miami absolutely obsessed oh my god okay yeah manifest that for us come on Jesus of Nazareth give a Miami Mark before I let you go yeah And I let the edit and my PR have the horrendous job of editing this chat.
48:39Olivia Attwood:Who should I have next? Who should I have a membership? In this house. Yeah, this house. Do you know who I actually really want you to get in? Who? Nicole Scherzinger. That's a good one. I'm obsessed with her and her husband, maybe. And the dolls are back. You need to get them on. They're such a vibe. If anyone knows, Nikki Scherzinger. I've seen you outside that's all you want and you're so hot it's unbelievable when I grow up I want to be famous like you when I grow up I want to be famous I want to be in movies Nicole I can show you a video of me pole dancing to that song in a strip club in freedom as well in freedom upside down back to front who do you want to ban who's going to ban from Olivia's house I'm scared guys this could be anything who's going to ban do you know who I'm going to ban who is to get right on my areola who gets on my tits Susan Boyle Babe That bleach day Ain't gonna save your career Give it up She gets on my tits And she's trying to make a comeback I've seen the Daily Mail today I scramble that paper up Like it was last week's papers Get her out my eye Get out my eye What has Susie B ever done to you?
49:49Why am I serving chicken and beef And Susie B's in a Bentley? What has the whale come to? No more Susie B stay on your working tax credits you've made your money be happy with the life you're living stop trying to make a comeback it's not happening
50:09keep Susie B off while we're done I'm drawing a line Susie B not in personal
50:17Olivia Attwood:no I don't sound much my tits ain't talking about it change the subject my blood pressure's rocketing your neck's gone dead rest what has she done to you she just really gets on my toes I have a dream don't I have a dream poor Susie B this has been possibly the last episode of Olivia's house more more so if you liked it please share it subscribe send it to a mate because I'm going to be having to live off this one for a long time this one is going to skyrocket I can feel it it's going to be like an email guys this has to write well or he's going to end up on a Susan Ball tribute act. I dreamed a dream of days gone by.
51:03Olivia Attwood:Everyone, the reason I'm not ugly and boring, my best friend, Mark. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I dreamed a dream of days gone by.
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51:52Olivia Attwood:Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for$15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made$15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. See terms.
From the publisher
This week, Olivia is joined by none other than her best friend of over 13 years, Mark Johnson White, for an unfiltered conversation that with hilarious stories, outrageous moments and the kind of intimacy that makes you feel like you're sitting in the House with them.
From the moment Mark convinced Olivia to say yes to Love Island, to the wild Vegas stories, infamous yacht photos, disastrous dating experiences and the moments that never made the headlines, nothing is off limits.
Together, they revisit the highs, heartbreaks and hilarious memories that have shaped their friendship, sharing untold stories, celebrity encounters, life after divorce, and the chaos that comes with living life in the public eye.
Expect plenty of laughs, brutal honesty and more than a few revelations as Mark finally exposes the stories they've never told before.
Podcast Description:
Welcome to Olivia's House - Olivia Attwood’s stylish, intimate podcast blends sharp humour with unfiltered, heartfelt conversation. From New York to London, Olivia invites bold guests to explore love, fame, family, and everything in between- no topic is off-limits. Expect scandalous stories, laugh-out-loud chaos, and the honest, messy moments that make us human. So… are you coming in?
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