Traitors, Truths & Tequila: Alan Carr & Lee Peart Unfiltered

7:22Olivia Attwood:No, not the same. Oh, look at you with your glasses. I know. Do you know what? They're lovely glasses and I lost them that night. No. I woke up in the morning and I went, where am I? I love that.

7:32Alan Carr:How pissed do you have to be to lose your glasses? Oh, no, I've lost my sight and you still don't realise. Do you need glasses or are they fashioned? Yeah, they had lenses.

7:39Olivia Attwood:I tossed them somewhere. Somewhere in so... Just being careful. I don't need sight. I'm above it. And then I said to my friend, Mark of Old Oats, I've lost my glasses. He goes, that's not the only thing you've lost, sweetheart. Your fucking dignity is somewhere and freedom on the dance floor as well. Yeah, my first impression of you, it's weird because when new people come into Loose Women, I don't like to be that person who's like, I'm going to be your best friend. And I also like people to settle in because Frankie Bridge said to me once at Christmas party, I didn't think you liked me when I first joined.

8:13Olivia Attwood:But such a Frankie thing to say. Yeah, and I loved her, but I didn't know her. You don't want to be all over her, out the gate. No, and I do remember you from Love Island, because it was like the only series I watched at the time, because it was like the peak one. Same for most people. But I just didn't know, I was just waiting. And then I can't remember, but I think you said something funny on the show, and I actually laughed, I wasn't just fake laughing. And I was like, oh, you're funny. and I always, I think I said this to my therapist once, I said, not about you. Oh, Jesus Christ. But I said, if someone's funny, I really connect with them if I like, if they get humour.

8:51But I also enjoy just watching you sometimes. One, trying to clap. You're not very good at clapping. Are you like Simon Cowell? She's like, and she's a bit like a cross between Simon Cowell and Nicole Kidman. Do you remember the Oscars?

9:05Alan Carr:How big's Nicole Kidman's hands? I know. Like shovels.

9:08Olivia Attwood:I know. No, that's what I'm, So I, for a woman who is surrounded...

9:12Alan Carr:Can I just say, I hate people at gigs when you do a comedy gig and you look out. That's doing fuck all. Make some noise. Make some noise. They've got you... Don't bother. Or, yeah, or... That's not doing my ego any good.

9:27Olivia Attwood:For a woman that's surrounded by gay men, I'm not... This is where I, you know, you guys... You're homophobic.

9:33Alan Carr:I can't stash you.

9:35Olivia Attwood:I'm the same. Is that where you take your glasses off? I can't look at you. I'm in freedom. Oh, these guys.

9:40Alan Carr:I'm in Soho. Get away from me! The last time I come to Soho, it's riddled with gays. She's always in Soho. She's basically...

9:48Olivia Attwood:Are you a gay man? Are you a gay man? She's a gay man. You are a gay man. Yeah, I'm a gay man. But having said that, I'm generalising massively here, but a lot of my gays hate me for it. I'm not a musical girl.

9:59Alan Carr:Who was that man you were with at least? Mark. Mark. He's a flight attendant. He made me look like Jason Statham. I mean, he was fucking camp. Hi, babes.

10:12Olivia Attwood:flight attendant chicken or beef no shit no shit he's liver puddley isn't he because I remember at your screening I hosted your screening of bad boyfriend seriously and he started and I said Cilla Black back from the dead you can't understand a word he said once he had a drink because it goes like eek eek I love them to death I did a show

10:31Alan Carr:with Cilla Black once you know we got the same teeth I went in for a kiss we nearly locked

10:36Olivia Attwood:no shut up you know when like dogs fuck in the street Was it like one of those things you get in a cracker and you have to undo the puzzle?

10:43Alan Carr:It was like that. Like the rings. I was like that. To the left. To the left.

10:49Olivia Attwood:But anyway, back to the point about the clapping. No, Cylumber's amazing. I don't like musicals. We did a musical interlude at Loose. Yes, we did. And I looked to the side and everyone's clapping along to the song. And he's like this. This is literally Lee since I said... Filming. Zooming in on me trying to clap. to the music like that and i was like oh no i'm like this what's your problem why can't you clap yeah can't catch a beat so i was out of time with all the audios and i just the fingers are long and it was just you were nearly i was trying to direct her but she didn't have her glasses on

11:30Alan Carr:you have got long fingers you give them a revoke oh she moans her up you're getting her name wrong We could hold our space. I don't think she'll be watching. Let's try and be optimistic.

11:43Olivia Attwood:How fucking dare you, actually? She might be watching this.

11:46Alan Carr:She might, she might.

11:46Olivia Attwood:Well, you'll be laughing when she's here next week with her...

11:49Alan Carr:Massive fingers. Oh, fingernails, isn't it? Yeah, fingernails.

11:53Olivia Attwood:Right, boys, here in the house, we have a house rule where I ask my guests to leave something at the door so it can be, you know, a headline, a fad, a person, just something you don't want in the house today. So I'm going to come to you first, Alan. What would you like to leave at the door? What are you sick of? What am I sick of? I don't like seeing this in the park when I'm with my two dogs.

12:19Alan Carr:People in suits with the old scooters.

12:22Olivia Attwood:What, you mean the scooter?

12:24Alan Carr:I'm not talking about Deliveroo. I mean, I'm talking about old scooters that you used to have. I don't like them. I don't know if I've seen that. Is it like they're doing it to get around? Yeah, like that. And they're in a suit and they look like they've got, I think it is doing it to get around. There's a lot of weird people who put on suits for a hobby and go on their scooters. Do you know what I mean? I don't actually like seeing men in suits, but they've put their trainers on to get home on the tube. They've gone out of their smart shoes. Yeah, I mean, how bad are your smart shoes?

12:55Olivia Attwood:But also, what about the women that do the trainers for the commute with the rucksack? I don't know. They need to get around, I understand, but it's not... We all need to get around. but there's ways of doing it. Okay.

13:07Alan Carr:Yeah, but I just think it's the mixed message. It's that. It's like, wow, I've got a business meeting to get to and a PowerPoint display. I know. I mean, how slow is the bus? Can I say... Is the bus any slower than that? I'm with you on this. I once saw an old man in a suit. I thought, you are a mover, a shaker, you're a CEO on the tube. I looked down, he was playing Candy Crush. I thought, that's not right. That's not right. No, listen. can I just say I was addicted to Candy Crush I mean I'm an addict I'm addicted to Candy Crush I went I took my mum because she'd not been well I took my mum on a safari no no you didn't miss a night I missed one of the big five because I was playing Candy Crush I was like that and I missed a white rhino

13:54Olivia Attwood:because you were playing did you even win

13:56Alan Carr:who wins do you not

13:58Olivia Attwood:how does it work

13:59Alan Carr:Candy Crush wins the developers yes I'm like that I'm like, wow, mum, because I'm behind her in the Jeep. Alan, look at that rhino. I'm like, wow, look at its tusk. Yes. Four toffees.

14:11Olivia Attwood:You were really addicted. Poor toffees. How did you get out of it? How did you?

14:16Alan Carr:Well, she knew I wasn't. She went, Alan, I'm in.

14:19Olivia Attwood:How did you get rid of your addiction?

14:21Alan Carr:Cold turkey? Cold turkey.

14:23Olivia Attwood:Deleted the app. Rehab.

14:24Alan Carr:Rehab went to the priory. They snapped my fingers.

14:29Olivia Attwood:But you were in the Candy Crush ward.

14:31Alan Carr:I was.

14:31Olivia Attwood:You weren't allowed to get lemons or blueberries.

14:34Alan Carr:I was allowed to do it for like 12 hours, then 11 hours, 10 hours, 9. Maybe that's why Cynthia Erivo has such long fingernails to stop her swiping on Candy Crush. You should try it. You're bad addicted. No, but I was addicted to Candy Crush, so it's no laughing matter, and I've lost friends to Candy Crush. Me, have you ever played? I don't think I've ever played Candy Crush. But it's not me, is it? You know me. Candy Crush isn't me, is it? It's not your brand. But... Brand? It's not. No, but I once had a dinner party.

15:03Olivia Attwood:What game would be Alan's brand?

15:06Alan Carr:Um... I think you'd quite like Snake. Snake? Do you remember Snake? Oh wow, because I was in Celebrity Traitors. Yeah, I was in a bit of a snake.

15:13Olivia Attwood:I thought that was a Nokia reference, thought you'd been ageist. Well, no, I remember Snake. Oh yeah, yeah, fuck you! But I remember Snake, it's not that old.

15:21Alan Carr:Snake? That's the crappiest game ever. What would yours be? I don't know. Do you like backgammon? No, you're good at scrabble. You're scrabble because you like words. Why have I been tasked with this? I don't know.

15:37Olivia Attwood:I like the one where you put your debit card in, the money comes out. An ATM. Yes. Oh, I love that game. I always lose at that game. They always see me there at Soham 4am. 40. Glasses are gone. Is that your pin? 69, 69. No glasses. as everybody chucked those in the gutter. So we're just trying to see where the pin goes.

15:59Alan Carr:You know, you said you can keep something at the door. You said headline. There is a headline I would like.

16:03Olivia Attwood:Go on, tell us.

16:04Alan Carr:I dressed up as Gemma Collins once for Halloween.

16:06Olivia Attwood:If you haven't seen it in the peach dress.

16:09Alan Carr:Yeah, peach dress. And then the Daily Star went for me. Sick Alan mocks our Gemma by donning fat suit. It wasn't a fat suit. It was my own body. So I was like, yes, sick Alan, sick.

16:32Olivia Attwood:You're in recovery from Candy Crush. He's still got that. Poor bastard. He's still got that suit. It's in his dressing up box. I've got a dressing up box. It was the same dress.

16:40Alan Carr:What? It was the same dress, right? Well, I got it made especially. Yeah, no, he didn't contact Gemma and say Gemma. Gemma, I want to take the piss out of you at Halloween. Could you lend me that dress? Could you courier it over to me? Can you imagine how fucking big your ball's got to be? I'm going to take the piss out of you can you send me that dress?

16:58Olivia Attwood:Thanks It's a great dress Controversial but I think being dressed up as Halloween means you've made it She's iconic It's iconic It's iconic

17:04Alan Carr:Think of like Christina Aguilera

17:06Olivia Attwood:I've done a sketch with you

17:08Alan Carr:dressed as Gemma Collins

17:09Olivia Attwood:Yes of course Oh my god With the black thing and the thing In the house Yes Guys So I was thinking I've got the photo I showed in the photo No Alan I'm so ashamed because I was thinking we've got into how I know Lee through Loose and I was like I did meet you on a job and I could not think. We did a Love Island sketch at a house, 2018 maybe.

17:29Alan Carr:It was freezing, wasn't it? We were in, I was dressed as Gemma.

17:32Olivia Attwood:We were in swimwear.

17:33Alan Carr:Still in my fat suit.

17:37Alan Carr:And then we were freezing in the garden. I was like, oh, you know, all the Love Island, you're on paper and like.

17:45Olivia Attwood:Yeah, yeah, eggs in a basket, all that crap, yeah. Oh my God, that was good. What was that even for?

17:51Alan Carr:I just fucking knows. I can't remember either. I go through my camera roll and I'm like, am I having a breakdown? I'm like, what? Oh my God, I had a whole different place then. And you're when the Apple goes, oh, a little memory. Remember this? You're like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah, yeah.

18:03Olivia Attwood:Here's a picture of you and your ex.

18:04Alan Carr:But I saw something on Instagram. Someone said, memories of your weekend in Austin, Texas. And she'd been in a car accident. And she's like, Apple's going, remember?

18:16Olivia Attwood:She's like, no, I was on a ketamine drip. I don't remember anything, you stupid s***. but they need to be dangerous

18:23Alan Carr:because it is triggering

18:25Olivia Attwood:it's a jump scare yeah

18:27Alan Carr:we've all been in relationship or things and then their face pops up and especially you know I love my dogs I mean fucking your furry friends well they're dead now fucking dogs looking up at you you're like if you're having a bad day you're in bits

18:41Olivia Attwood:tip you off the edge I know okay so we've cleared up how I know you two where we've met how do you two know each other and how did you meet?

18:51Alan Carr:Well, you're not going to believe this.

18:52Olivia Attwood:I'm sure.

18:53Alan Carr:No, you're not. She's not. Three words.

18:56Olivia Attwood:Go on.

18:56Alan Carr:Barry's boot camp. I think that's two words. Boot camp. Boot camp is one word. Then it, Barry's boot camp. No. Boot camp is like, ooh, boot camp. Boot camp is one word. But let's, you know, I don't know. I've turned it to Susie.

19:14Olivia Attwood:Barry's boot camp. Which one, can I ask? West. West. Okay. And you know who got me into Barry's boot camp?

19:21Alan Carr:Who? Gemma Collins, the Daily Star.

19:27Alan Carr:Once I read that headline, Barry's, I need you.

19:31Olivia Attwood:You bought the 12-pack obsessions. I did them all in what, in two weeks? No, well, I was always...

19:39Alan Carr:I didn't know this until the last week that I'd actually spoken to you while you were on the treadmill. Yes, so I...

19:44Olivia Attwood:So you're both at Barry's, you don't know each other. No, so I was obviously a fan of Alan. and we've had this conversation Hello and I always have been a fan and I did comedy and you know a lot of his you know stuff shapes He's stolen Yeah shapes A lot of his material I've recycled

20:03Alan Carr:No but I was recycled when I said it Good luck But I was at Barrett's boot camp and I was in the changing rooms and it was just before we were starting and I hear how the fuck do I work these fucking lockers? And I thought that's Alan Carr. So I turned and I went oh here you go thanks love. Oh it was like a four digit thing he didn't know how to do it. So I then said to him I said oh I do stand up as well and I said that I think you were on tour at the time and it was Susie Ruffell was your tour support and I think I said oh I know blah blah blah blah. And then every time I would see him at Barry's but I was always on the treadmill next to him and he said to me once, he's, because, have you ever done Barry's?

20:47Olivia Attwood:I used to be a real addicted to Barry's. Yeah, you're either in the cult or you're out. It's all or nothing. Yeah, yeah. I was really addicted at one point. And the leaderboard.

20:56Alan Carr:Oh, get a ride for Jesus. But they'd go, they were leaderboard. Yeah, you didn't see that. Sorry to bring it up. They'd hide it from you as you'd arrive.

21:08Olivia Attwood:Don't obsess him. And I, so do you know where they'd go, right, 10 seconds when they got to about six, I'd just press stop. And he turned, stop cheating.

21:20Alan Carr:Cheating? And then, yeah. No, because he was good. I've always said this. He was good at Paris. I've got good stamina. Hey, lads, where's the camera?

21:32And then, yeah, but then we met through mutual friends and kind of, and I used to bump into a lot of television center, didn't I? Who's doing like this morning? So that, and then we just, we lived around the corner from each other. but everyone thinks we're in a relationship. Well, I was going to ask,

21:45Olivia Attwood:because I was speaking to Rob and Ryland about this the other week and everyone thinks they're dating. But it's like, so do you get that? People think you're a couple or something's going on. We don't help ourselves. We went to Cape Town together and ended up bumming.

22:00Alan Carr:I fell awkwardly. These rumours still happen.

22:05Olivia Attwood:Leave us alone. I'm so grim. Yeah, so, yeah, they always ask. Okay, so he was on Cape Town.

22:15Alan Carr:We had two single beds, didn't we? We did. What am I talking about? Nobody thought we were.

22:20Olivia Attwood:Now you're protesting too hard. I know, now.

22:22Alan Carr:I never touched him.

22:23Olivia Attwood:And was it that South Africa holiday where you came up with the idea for your pod? Yes.

22:27Alan Carr:Yeah.

22:28Olivia Attwood:Talked me through how it came to, sort of the idea came to fruition.

22:32Alan Carr:Well, we love wine. He's, I don't know if you've got a friend like this, but he's dangerously close. I love wine. I love wine. and so, you know, maybe on a Sunday morning I might be hungover and ping, do you want a bloody Mary? Go on, we live so close to each other and then we pop round there and we end up having a laugh and a nice roast and a bottle of red and I know people, well, yeah, you love wine but we do actually love wine. It's an infusion. So we went to South Africa and went wine tasting.

23:02Olivia Attwood:Oh, that must have been amazing. It was at South Cape Town school. Because what people do, we were going to Cape Town, right? Yeah. For anyone thinking of going to Cape Town, they'd go, oh my God, have the best time. My friend got shot out there. You hear a lot of that. Yeah, and you'd be like, oh, enjoy, but just make sure you get cabs. You'll be held up at gunpoint a lot, but you'll have a great time, and it's so sunny. And I was like, thinking, one said pack a bulletproof vest. Well, I had a bulletproof vest over my Gemma Collins fat suit. Yeah. The only vest I had was mesh. nipples point you fruit that'll help it hits the thread no but we felt like we got taxes didn't we and we felt safe we weren't going out at night on our own or whatever but um we had the best time and it was so nice and we went to the vineyards we had a tour and as we were doing the tour we were tasting it and they would do like pairings with food and we were just like this has blown

23:59Alan Carr:our mind oh here we go i know what it's gonna be oh no what's gone because there's certain wines i I don't lie. I've gone off why I love rosé now.

24:08Olivia Attwood:I was going to ask you about this. Yes.

24:10Alan Carr:And then he goes, there's a chard now and all the wine like this. We're in this gorgeous, all these barrels of wine. Babylon store. Babylon store. And then I'm like, oh, I like that. And then you have a bit of melon with it. Oh, my God. I know. And then you have a little bit of cheese, then a little bit of beef. To change the taste. Yeah. And it is honestly, and I said, well, we both said we should do a podcast about this. But him, have you seen When Harry Met Sally?

24:36Olivia Attwood:Yeah. No, stop it, Lee.

24:40Alan Carr:Lee. He wasn't that bad. And I had to say, can you stop?

24:47Olivia Attwood:Well, that was you tasting.

24:48Alan Carr:He was so horny. I was trying to show.

24:51Olivia Attwood:But you were enjoying the experience. Enjoyment. Okay. But it got a bit, because I was like, yeah. And he turned to me at one point and was like, can you please stop? Because people were looking. It was a group one. But the group were leaving. Yeah, and some were being sick in their mouth. And can I ask a stupid, it feels like a stupid question. Do you spit or do you swallow?

25:10Alan Carr:Always swallow. Yeah. Don't waste it.

25:13Olivia Attwood:No, I don't really like spitting in buckets like camels. They don't even give us like camels.

25:17Alan Carr:What camel spits in a bucket? Well, they just spit. Yeah, they spit.

25:21Olivia Attwood:It just feels very like uncouth. I'd rather just knock it back. But they didn't even give us spittoons. Oh, did they not? It was a swallowing trip. No, they knew. This is not helping your boyfriend.

25:31Alan Carr:Swallow morning, noon and night But listen Do you know what I like Me and him We love a red wine And I think What do you like Are you a rose?

25:39Olivia Attwood:I'm a rose white I never Can't drink red Why? Just don't like the texture of it Don't like how it feels on my teeth I've just Gives me a headache Yeah

25:48Alan Carr:But also I'm a

25:50Olivia Attwood:Brad calls rose bitch juice Because I turn into The fucking antichrist After a bottle of whispering age Are you a white wine witch? I mean Do you know what It's not even I'm a witch to him I mean, we went out one day and shared like a magnum of whispering angel and I joined a stag do. I forgot I was with him. I was on the table and he was like, I can't with the rosé.

26:10Alan Carr:Because you know what they say about whispering angel, whispering angel, screaming demon.

26:14Olivia Attwood:Yeah. What are you two like to go on holiday together? What are you, each of you like as a holiday buddy? We were a bit nervous, weren't we? Yeah, because it was your first holiday. And that's kind of made or made a friendship. It was meant to be three of us. And then it was like the other person couldn't come. So we were like, we'll just go. but we're going again but there's three of us this time we're going to Mexico aren't we who someone the other day we're like and I'm like I can't hear any more bad stories about holidays or just places I've decided to go because who are you going on holiday with you need to be on the same vibe I've actually don't

26:46Alan Carr:there's two people I don't speak to anymore because of a holiday because of a holiday and people go but holidays are you're in the same room you've got bodily functions you've got what they want to do he's so easy we had the same rhythm, you know what I mean?

27:01Olivia Attwood:So he's just very natural because you like... People would think I give off the, like, high maintenance, but I'm actually quite... Excuse me? I'm actually quite chill.

27:10Alan Carr:No one looks at you and goes, high maintenance.

27:17Alan Carr:Wow. High, yes. But the maintenance is silent. Wow, I bet he's... What? No, people have said to me before, I bet you're quite tricky, like, in a relationship.

27:31Olivia Attwood:I would say that you, I can't imagine you chilling. Oh, I love it. I can imagine you being quite like, like, you want to be busy. Like, you know.

27:39Alan Carr:He complains, he complains, not complains, complains, but we were at this hotel and have you ever bought a house, you know, with the old fisheye lens? You're the estate agent and the room looks bigger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We actually got the pool up on our phones. where is this pool in the hotel? We stood by it. And he goes and he points to a bird bath where he's gone like that. If I'd go like that, I'd say, wait, and the website looked like a massive fucking pool. There were rubber ducks waiting to get in one by one. It was, and we were like, this isn't right.

28:17Olivia Attwood:And now for a special part of the show, trust no one, But I look at your real-life suspect situations, like when you think someone's behavior is slightly off in a relationship, dating or at work, and then I'll decide whether I think it's harmless or sus. Because you know what? How much do you really know someone? Trust No One is brought to you by The Housemaid, the must-see film arriving in cinemas this Christmas. That's all about hidden motives, suspicion and shocking revelations. So on that note, let's get into it. Okay, first one. My boyfriend of six years was married before and never told me.

28:54Olivia Attwood:He still works for his ex. What do I do? Honey, this is very sus. I mean, not revealing our whole marriage. I don't know how long you guys have been dating, but I would say this is a big red flag. And the fact he works with her, don't like it. I saw my friend's fiance at a bar with another woman. he told me it was a work event they looked pretty cozy should I say something yes you should say something in the time that it took you to text this to me you should have already spoken to your friend because you don't need to fly in there making accusations but better safe than sorry just be like oh you know I happened to see your fella with this girl I think that was on a work thing let her unpack it if she feels the need to a guy I've been dating for a few weeks has the same profile picture on every social media platform, but he's never posted anything else and no one tags him in photos.

29:46Olivia Attwood:It's like he doesn't exist online. What do you think? Now, a few years ago, I would have thought this was really creepy, but actually, I'm really into someone that is not chronically online. And, you know, if he's not vain, and he's not taking loads of pictures, he maybe only has one photo of himself that he likes. But I would just be, how do I say this, without being too dramatic. Just be on high alert that he's not got a double life. My team is supposed to collaborate on a project. My co-worker keeps excluding me from meetings and then accidentally forgets to share crucial updates. Am I being excluded or sabotage?

30:26Olivia Attwood:Well, I mean, aren't they the same thing technically? I think it sounds like your co-worker is intentionally leaving you out, which could be a type of sabotage. You need to kind of, you need to fight for your place in this team because you don't want your teammate getting all the glory and then you looking like you've underperformed. But in reality, I think you've got a snake in your camp. I was on a date with a guy. It went really well. But then in the morning, I noticed a woman's shampoo, conditioner and shower gel in his bathroom. Leftover from an ex, weirdly overprepared or secret girlfriend.

31:01Olivia Attwood:I mean, honey, you went on a date with a guy. So I don't know if any of the above is really a problem for you. I think if you were dating, you could ask. But I think this early on, I don't think you should be overthinking it because it could be from an ex-girlfriend and he's just not chucked it away. And you've only been on one date with him. So I would just take a deep breath and be grateful that there's some shower gel there you can use. Right, final question. I've been dating this guy for a while, but I just found out he's still on dating apps and active on them. When I asked him about it, he just said he forgot to delete them.

31:35Olivia Attwood:Should I believe him? uh no to be honest no you shouldn't because if he's active on them and i you know i don't know what qualifies as active but if the profile is being updated or he's interacting with people then he hasn't forgotten anything he's very much um using those profiles and i don't know how long you've been dating but that's up to you to set those boundaries of when you know when you're going to be exclusive when you feel that those sort of things should be deleted so i think you need to decide your boundaries and then enforce them. You are definitely right to question some things there and speaking of questioning things, The Housemaid is the must-see film in cinemas this Christmas.

32:14Olivia Attwood:It's based on the worldwide bestseller by Frieda McFadden and it has an all-star cast starring people like Sidney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried. This film will have you trying to guess what's going to happen next but I won't say anymore, you're going to have to wait and watch for yourself. The Housemaid is in cinemas everywhere from Boxing Day with previews happening from the 22nd December so don't miss it.

32:39Olivia Attwood:We love the party. We all love the party. I love a party. I was over the moon to learn that you love Ibiza as well.

32:45Alan Carr:Yes. And was it last summer

32:47Olivia Attwood:that you were there and someone stopped you on the stairs in Glitterbox and said, good for you. Was that you? As if you're a pensioner who said, good for you. I read this. I don't know if it was fake news or not. No, no, it was true.

33:00Alan Carr:It was true. I went to a glitter box and I was so excited going there. And then I, all you youngsters here, I'm going to sound like an old person now, but you don't realise you're getting old. You're getting old. And I still feel young. So I went to a glitter box like that. Woo! With all these people. Good for you. I remember someone saying to me in the supermarket back home, like I grew up and she's like an older woman. and she goes, what you up to these days? You still doing your drama? Oh, drama! And it was like so full of subtext, like good for you. You still doing your drama? And I went, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm working in like TV.

33:42And she went, you always loved it, didn't you? Oh, God! And I thought, oh.

33:46Alan Carr:Someone said to me the other day, you still going? Like I'm COVID. I'm a new strain of COVID. They can't contain me. I know. But you don't realise, but then, you know, you've still got, like, you still want to go out and have fun. But, you know, anyway, yeah, but it was really fun.

34:03Olivia Attwood:But I was on the podium dancing. Yeah, as you should, though. But I feel like, I'm in my 30s, but I feel like I'm a teenager. Brad will look at me and go, Brad will go, you know, we're talking about starting a family. I'm like, I'm a teenager. You're sick. You want to impregnate a teenager? He's like, you're not a teenager. You're actually a 33-year-old woman. 33. But I'm like, you know, I'm like, my God, I'd be a teen bride. This is disgusting. It catches up on you.

34:25Alan Carr:It really does. It's so funny.

34:27Olivia Attwood:But I think as long as you act as young as you feel, just keep staying young.

34:31Alan Carr:You are young at heart.

34:32Olivia Attwood:Yeah. And you look old, Alan.

34:34Alan Carr:I want young in the fucking front bit. At heart. I want young at face.

34:39Olivia Attwood:Would you ever do anything, Alan? Would you ever do a facelift or anything?

34:42Alan Carr:Oh, come on, that fucking ship's sailed. Can you imagine me? What air transplant? But this, have you seen this? Looks like a Brazilian.

34:54Alan Carr:I mean, I would like to have nice teeth I'd like to have Can I just say something Maybe controversial Well, not controversial I think you've got nice teeth Yeah They're straight

35:06Olivia Attwood:But also, don't you think your teeth are so Yeah, they're straight

35:08Alan Carr:They just point in the fucking wrong direction I don't think your teeth are so inherently part of you I know, I know But it'd be nice just to have a I don't know You know, like when the wind goes And it plays a tune Are we thinking like Rylan Like big white

35:23Olivia Attwood:Piano keys I mean I can't fucking talk I think there's a balance So do I I think yeah There's right Something in the middle Somewhere in the middle Somewhere in the middle Baby steps Why has he gone for Why has he gone for the big ones No but he's gone smaller He's got a second set Oh that's good In recent years They're slightly more natural Well the first time

35:41Alan Carr:I was like Whoa you're going to get poached I think he even scared himself

35:46Olivia Attwood:Of those ones

35:46Alan Carr:Yeah but They're nice now. I love Rylan, though. I love him. Do you know who I went to his house for a party? I bet he throws. Skinny dips. Yeah, I bet he throws a party. Now, that's tequila. Tequila, my clothes come off with tequila.

35:59Olivia Attwood:Nice.

36:00Alan Carr:What does drink do to you? Oh, yeah. Whiskey makes me angry. I can drink vodka like it's going out of fashion, doesn't do anything.

36:08Olivia Attwood:Yeah.

36:09Alan Carr:But tequila, clothes come off. Honestly, this would be, if I had tequila, this would be like Naked Attraction, celebrity version.

36:16Olivia Attwood:Someone gets some tequila.

36:18Alan Carr:Oh, really?

36:19Olivia Attwood:Like, you know what's...

36:19Alan Carr:Really? Because you like a tequila, don't you? I like tequila. You like a vodka.

36:23Olivia Attwood:I'm a vodka girl. But I, apart from the rosé, which I had, you know, I can go a little bit bitch juice on that. Really, I'm just a good time when I drink. I'm not, I don't really do sad. I don't really do angry. I'm just, wine, I get a little bit more away from myself than I like.

36:39Alan Carr:Yeah, that's an interesting word, away from yourself.

36:42Olivia Attwood:Yeah, like, I can watch myself in the corner of the room thinking, you shouldn't be doing that. But I'm doing it.

36:46Alan Carr:Yeah.

36:46Olivia Attwood:But like, if I wanted to get drunk and be in control of myself, vodka, a clear spirit is the way for me to go. I had a period when I was going through a breakup when I was drunk all the time. Like, and I was not, I was not a good drunk. You were like, you'd start crying, start an argument. Because you're not happy. It all comes out. I'd start a fight. No, I do. Because I am from Grimmsville. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd get like angry. But it doesn't, because everyone goes, oh, do you cry when you drink gin? Mother's ruined. that's a bit brumor isn't it they say wine in

37:19Alan Carr:truth out isn't it that's the true vin vin I don't think any of us

37:23Olivia Attwood:need alcohol to get the truth out I know

37:25Alan Carr:I mean listen look

37:26Olivia Attwood:speaking of the truth that's a lovely segue oh traitors can't have you here without discussing traitors just briefly traitors what's that just a little little digital show oh that's oh that flop I mean I guess having you here together as friends when did you You knew, obviously, that Alan was going on. I'm having so many people say to me. I want to know, like, what did you know about... All right. Okay, yeah. I knew he was going in because I gave him a seminar on the shields. I didn't understand. What, as in how does it explain the shields? And I had seen the show, but I don't understand the shields.

38:02Well, when people said to me, they'd go, Oh, God, he's fucked it, hasn't he? Because he forgot he had a shield. That proves he's a traitor. I said, guys, if he was a faithful, he would have forgotten he had a shield. He doesn't know what shields are. I don't know what the shields are. I was like, honestly, and I think people think he's this like strategic Machiavellian person. He's just a bit dopey. Like, you know, in a bad way. And in a bad way. Murder and banishment. He's the most, right, he's one of the most intelligent people I know. Yeah. But he's also like flappy and kind of, you know, so his intelligence is in different realms, I will say.

38:40So, and it's not a strategy necessarily. So I knew he was going in. I didn't know. And so many people are like, you knew. I didn't know the outcome. And he...

38:50Olivia Attwood:So you didn't know he'd won? Didn't know he'd won. And we got pissed a lot. Didn't even know he was a traitor. How the hell did you keep that in? Because there's quite a big gap between filming and airing. I know, I know.

38:59Alan Carr:We filmed it in April. So I didn't know. When was it? November out? Was it November? September. But then I got... People were so into it. They didn't want spoilers. I didn't want to know. People didn't want spoilers. They wanted to watch it in real time.

39:11Olivia Attwood:Yeah. Yeah, and I think people were so into it. He said, oh, at one point, we were just recruiting left, right and centre. We were recruiting traitors. So you did a double bluff. I'm sat there and it's episode seven of eight and I'm like, there hasn't been a single recruitment.

39:25Alan Carr:Like, when's this going to happen? But lying is so, I really got into lying. There was someone on another show and they went, they said, what's the lie? I said, well, when you get banished, they take you to a really fancy hotel and they pamper you. And ah, so you're out. oh, you get out, then you get out. And I was like...

39:46Alan Carr:And I really was like, fuck.

39:49Olivia Attwood:Really enjoyed... I enjoyed the lie.

39:51Alan Carr:I'm not a liar. Am I a liar? But you enjoyed the... You're looking great today, by the way.

39:56Olivia Attwood:When you got the call, your agent got the call, what was going for your head?

40:00Alan Carr:Well, I do love the show, even though I don't understand the things. And I just... You see, listen, I grew up... I love murder mysteries. I love Agatha Christie. I love all that. Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple. I love that. Jessica Fletcher. So for me, I was channeling my...

40:19Olivia Attwood:Living it out.

40:20Alan Carr:13-year-old, 14-year-old, stuck in a castle filled with celebrities and they're being murdered one by one. Oh, my God. That is my... And you do love celebrity as well. You look like...

40:30Olivia Attwood:So you're meeting all the other celebrities and seeing what they're like and getting to interact with them. What about you and Paloma? did you actually have a little fallout? We didn't have a fallout.

40:42Alan Carr:I get it. I get it.

40:44Olivia Attwood:She was pissed off that you killed her.

40:45Alan Carr:She was pissed off and I would be pissed off. Yeah. And in between, we're both right and we are back to... And do you know what the really nice thing is? You know, we were showbiz friends, but since it's all come out, we're on the phone all the time when we just...

40:58Olivia Attwood:So it's actually made you closer. Yeah, we're closer.

41:00Alan Carr:We had some really funny sketches. I, and when I cried at the end, I felt so bad as a person. And when she came through, when I'd murdered her with the lily and she came down for breakfast, I was so excited. I went, oh, it hasn't worked. She's alive. She's like, oh, thank God, because we're going to have the best time. Half an hour later, we're shoving her in a fucking coffin. I'm like... Can I say one of my favourite bits of that was when Jonathan Ross throws him under the bus and goes, Alan, maybe you could say a few words. No, he... Oh, that was brilliant. And he goes like this. How are they doing, Clark?

41:33He goes...

41:35Alan Carr:One minute she's there, then she's gone. And then I get it, I get it. And then she said a few things. I'm stabbed in the back. It was a betrayal. And it was. It was. But it's a show, you know. It's a game show. But she knew that. I also think people forget it is for charity. So it's like, you know, when I play Monopoly, if my mum lands on Mayfair and I've got a hotel on there, I'm like, pop up, bitch. I'm not saying like, oh, you're my mum. I'm like, no, you're out. And in real life. You're second in a beauty. Second in a beauty contest Third more like

42:09Olivia Attwood:Talking of things that went viral That clip where you're talking to Celia And you go, you can trust me Have you seen the memes? With the snakes on the face You can trust me But we've got this far And she goes, oh but can I? It's so brilliant

42:24Alan Carr:Well on Uncloak she called me an arsehole Or a bastard And we're all in the Traitor's WhatsApp group and I said, oh, I'm a bastard, am I? Well, you are. She's iconic. I met her. I was like starstruck. She's like, I love her. She is so funny. She's a true thespian. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? Can I just say, it was like, yeah, I'll never, it's really bittersweet, the whole thing, because I'll never ever, you can say, oh, yeah, yeah, but I'm never ever going to be in anything. So iconic, so zeitgeist. It was amazing. Everyone, everyone was talking about it. Yeah, huge. I could walk down the street before I'm not being a dick, but you were there with me.

43:05Alan Carr:People. Alan, Alan. What's it like? Oh, my God. Who are you going to murder next? We went to see the producers. There was a queue, like, at Disneyland queuing for Mickey Mouse, of him in the interval of people queuing. And the ushers were like, we do need to start the show. And they were like, please, please. It was mental. But it's like, I'll never, ever, I don't ever be in anything that big.

43:26Olivia Attwood:And also, I think that for shows, especially reality shows, that to capture people in this like this climate when there's so much telly it happens once in like a blue moon where it really one in four people were watching it that's unheard that's unheard of and I said I do think as well you got a glimpse into Alan as a person and you don't always get to see that and that is because he's the best and that is where like oh god he'll cry he hates our I don't hate a compliment I will cry no but like I said

43:57Alan Carr:and I've had brine whenever I I'm Brian, I get emotional. I'm an old mermaid.

44:08No, but I think you've got a glimpse into him as a person. And I think that's what the nation did. And also a new generation of people. Because I'm old.

44:18Olivia Attwood:As we've made you feel today. How old are you, Lee? I'm 35. God, we are just a couple of kids, aren't we? Yeah, we are. Let's go out after this. What do you say? We'll drop you off at the nursing home. He lasts longer than anyone. Oh, I believe it. What? You two. Candy crush, down. I'm actually slightly afraid of Olivia in that sense. I don't have enough thoughts. If we're going out, I'm like... Me and him. I'll hydrate before. Last year's Christmas. Oh, it's the loose women class. Last year's Christmas. Loose women Christmas, too. But a perfectly lovely evening. done drinks, dinner. It was what time?

45:00Olivia Attwood:It was, come on, it was fucking early. It was like, what, 11 o 'clock? Yeah. Me and him are going, calling it on, going, let's go out, let's go out. We're trying to gather the troops. No one's on our vibe. No. We're like, come on.

45:10Alan Carr:What star sign are you? Taurus. Oh. Are you fussy about food and stuff?

45:15Olivia Attwood:Yeah, I just, I eat, I'm boring. Very plain. Yeah, that's Taurian, isn't it? Yeah, very plain. I could eat the same thing every day. Yeah, that's classic Taurian. Like my nice things.

45:25Alan Carr:Stubborn.

45:25Olivia Attwood:Stubborn. Stubborn. loyal to a fault though if you're in you're in if you're out dead to me

45:30Alan Carr:yeah yeah

45:32Olivia Attwood:I devised a game here but I've just realised with the company that we're in it's probably not really going to work so basically the game is before you leave we're going to do sip or spill I'm just going to throw some questions at you if you want to answer we answer if you don't want to answer just knock the drink back so we are going to need another top up this day is going to go off the rails real fucking quick I'll have a top up

45:53Alan Carr:you're having a top up and then we'll just

45:54Olivia Attwood:throw through Throw some questions. Throw some questions.

46:03Olivia Attwood:Oh, that. Who? No, go on, go on. Who has made that? Who did that to Alan? Is it all Brian?

46:13Alan Carr:Who? Stand up. Who has made that? That. Come on. My neck just fucking snapped. He went back like Voldemort.

46:31Olivia Attwood:Fucking hell.

46:33Alan Carr:What is that? That is fucking...

46:36Olivia Attwood:What is it, girls?

46:37Alan Carr:It's like I've licked out a mermaid. Oh, it stinks. I can't even put it in my mouth. I can smell the brine. There's too much brine in that. They're fucking emptied. That's brine with a hint of vodka. It's how they treat my guests. Get a passion fruit one. It'll be nicer. Can I get a passion fruit, please? I'm not being a dick. That is like someone's emptied a fucking John West can.

46:57Olivia Attwood:Sip or spill?

46:59Alan Carr:Okay.

46:59Olivia Attwood:Alan, you're up first.

47:01Alan Carr:Okay.

47:01Olivia Attwood:Who irritated you the most on traitors? Oh. Oh, my God. So if you don't want to answer, do you sit?

47:12Alan Carr:I feel like I'm being a wuss, but everyone was fine. I'm going to sip, sorry. He did say that to me as well, because I have asked that, and he was like, it's not a get out.

47:21Olivia Attwood:You're about to spill. Why? Lee, because I know to the way you're holding it. Oh, literally, spill. Lee, which celebrity friend that Alan has could you live without? Oh, who gets on your nerves? Oh, God. Hey, when they're there, are you like, oh, God. Who when they're there? Oh, have I hung out with a lot of your celebrity friends? Wait, I would say, I'm going to have to sit. Oh, these questions, come on. Me! Who's the biggest diva on Loose Women? And don't say me. Oh, the biggest diva. Oh, my God. Janet Stray-Pol. No, I wish you could tell your story about the, you don't laugh as much from it.

48:06Olivia Attwood:Do the, you know that one. You don't clap as much. Yeah, you don't. Oh. Oh, Gloria. I watch at home and I've noticed you get the audience clapping. And I went, yes, I've been doing it for eight years. It's my job. She went, and I've just noticed, you don't get them clapping as much when I say something. What do you do with Brenda? And I was like, I said, Gloria, I don't have faith. You do. Don't mess with Gloria. She dropped a line and then looked to you to see that you were going to... Gloria had a line. That's an exclusive. Oh, yes. Christmas party. She then looked at me at one point. Oh, she doesn't miss a trick.

48:46She doesn't miss a trick. Doesn't miss a trick.

48:48Olivia Attwood:Oh, Gloria. and she once felt my nipple in the lift. True fact. But you know what? She's earned the right to be a diva. No, she's not a diva, actually. She's not. Who's the biggest diva? Probably me. He can't bear how I am at Loose Women.

49:02Alan Carr:I can't believe how he talks to the talent. He just slags people up. When I was at Walmart for John and for Ross, I would just stand there in the corner like this. Yes, sir. Very good, sir. But he just has a go. Yeah. I just like to treat everyone equally.

49:18Olivia Attwood:Alan who's your celebrity crush oh I know this oh who is this I bet it's someone really random it's the current one Vito

49:27Alan Carr:oh Vito Coppola is that strictly Coppola Coppola seem to be car oh my god he knows what he's doing that calendar if you want to get me something for Christmas get me that calendar have you seen the calendar oh has he got a calendar

49:42Olivia Attwood:oh my god Candy Crush he is fucking fit

49:45Alan Carr:And he's given him a massage. I'm so jealous. He gave me a massage. Well, I used to do Strictly. So he massaged me once.

49:54Olivia Attwood:Who's your celebrity crush? It's often been Zac Efron. Old school. Jonathan Bailey, I feel like that's an obvious choice. Everyone fancies Jonathan Bailey. I met Jonathan Bailey years ago when he was in Broadchurch. And I didn't know he was gay. And we were chatting for ages. And I remember being like, this guy is very attentive.

50:11Alan Carr:Yeah, where was you chatting to him? Ballons. Ballons on Old Compton Street.

50:19Alan Carr:And I didn't realise. I was with Christopher Biggins in Chariots the other day. Is that still going, Chariots? I said, does your wife know you're out? Oh, dear.

50:32Olivia Attwood:Alan, have you ever had a diva meltdown? And if so, what prompted it? Diva meltdown. That's interesting. Have you ever had a little kick-off and then you've caught yourself and gone? He doesn't kick off. Do you not? It's sometimes annoying. Because I'm like, you need to put your foot down more. And be more. Did you see this? He's just been drinking the most hideous drink for 40 minutes. He couldn't bear to change it. He's been drinking bright.

50:54Alan Carr:I don't say, there's not a specific thing. I don't say anything, but I'm a classic Gemini. And I keep it all in. And then one little thing. And I'll go, I'm out of fucking mouth! Yeah, he does. And I'll pick that up and throw it in. And go, oh my God, Alan. I do apologise. Yeah, anyway. But yeah, no, I do. And I'm not trying to avoid it. I can be a fucking arsehole, but the thing is I ring him up and I moan. And you vent. And I'm nice, nice, nice. And then something will really piss me off. And I take so much shit. And then you always snap at the one. There's nothing.

51:33Olivia Attwood:It's actually because it's because your cup's already like open. I know, and then people think you're mental. You look like the psycho because the coaster's broke. You're like, you fucking broke my coaster. But it's not that. It's all the other things that have compiled. Yeah. Lee, I bet you can throw your weight around when you need to. I'm wet. Yeah, I can put my foot down. Eat some Grimsby. I like to think I'm assertive. My friend says I do the duck thing with my hands. So if I start going in and I go, do you know what? I will tell you this right now and my hands start becoming a duck's mouth.

52:07Alan Carr:Because he's got that short man energy. You know chihuahuas in the park or scotty dogs. I'm one inch shorter than him. And you go... One inch is quite a lot. Oh, wow.

52:21Alan Carr:No, but you know, he's like, you know, like a chihuahua.

52:25Olivia Attwood:Oh, hello, you're tiny. Each other's worst traits. What he just said. No, worst traits. His height.

52:47Alan Carr:You're such a twat. Like mine.

52:50Olivia Attwood:Oh, fuck's sake.

52:52Alan Carr:National traitor, is that a bad traitor? Adored by all. Yes, if that's a crime. Arrest me. Arrest me. What's your worst trait? Go on, you're going to be really hot for my hump or something. No, no, maybe sometimes you're a bit forgetful. Or a bit, like, flappy, like, you don't always listen. Oh no, this is it, right? It's all the brothels. No, I'll tell you what his worst trait is. I know what his worst. If you're telling, if you're just talking, sometimes you're talking, if it's not like the height of conversation or if it's not like the most engaging thing. Get on with it, Lee. He's like, oh, he's like, this is boring.

53:27Boring, boring, boring. And if you also say, if I say something like wrong or I might go, oh yeah, I'll say something, it then becomes the thing for the rest of life. So you know when you're like, oh, it's a thing now. It's a thing now that I'm short. He's made it a thing.

53:41Alan Carr:I do get bored

53:43Olivia Attwood:easily he gets so bored you see the shutters come down it's like boring he's just leaving the building he's just thinking of you in a pool

53:49Alan Carr:I've had to add me lot what what no actually you know the man from Bannams because I had me front door I forgot my keys I forgot my key I forgot my key again so I've had to have all my keys done and he was saying right this is the code and he actually went to me stay in the room

54:09Olivia Attwood:look at me

54:09Alan Carr:because I'm like this is boring, the code. Because he's telling me the code to my own house. I'm like, this is so boring. Can you make the numbers a bit more exciting? And I'll be telling him something. Yeah, yeah, great, yeah. And I'm like, he hasn't taken any of that in, so I will text him the details. Text me, that's it. Text me, then it's there. Or, listen, boring.

54:31Olivia Attwood:Okay, what's the height?

54:33Alan Carr:The height. Right. I just wish it'd be taller. No, sometimes I'm not. I found him under a beer mat the other day. I was like, what are you doing here? I'm not the most tactful, you would say, is it? I'm sometimes not socially tactful. Oh, no, no, yeah. He says things to people. Go on. We had a guest on the podcast and they told a story. And, you know, it was about...

55:01Olivia Attwood:Was it something serious?

55:03Alan Carr:Oh, no, she just, how do you meet your husband? Oh, my sister was dating him. and she went, I sort of went in and got him like that, la, la, la. Normal people would go, okay, do, do, do, anecdote reversing. Yeah, yeah. He goes even deeper. So, oh, tell us more. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's it like at Christmas? Do you still speak to the sister?

55:29Olivia Attwood:Just keep digging. Yeah, just dig in. This isn't. Do you remember Mariah Carey in Brighton and the organiser was there and I walked up to him and he was like, hello, I'm there. And I went, go on. How much is she getting paid? I know. You're like, oh, he doesn't get out now. And he was like, this is a random person I've just met, Lee. He was like, out of there. Yeah, I mean. So maybe it's that. Yeah, you are brash. Right. What we do is Olivia's house. Yeah. As I'm about to evict you from the house. Sorry. Please, could you wipe that off my mic? I have to play the place sponged down. off to you too, Leigh.

56:09Olivia Attwood:I would like you to tell me who I should put on the list. Who would you like me to invite into the house next? It can be someone fictional. It can be a friend. It can be someone in the industry. Who would you like me to have on the guest list for Olivia's house? Or because someone you want me to interview. Who do you think I should have on? Do you know who I'm into at the minute? I've just thought of him. Zach Polanski, that guy from the Green Party who's like... Oh, political, yeah? Yes, political. Oh, political, okay. Yeah, and gay as well. He's gay. Green party.

56:41Alan Carr:That's one tick. Your mum's not a big fan. Oh, yeah. My mum has this thing where she'll read things and just... Believe them. Oh, I don't like that, Zach Polanski. Oh, God, he can hypnotise women and make their breasts bigger. Not for me. I read that too. Yeah.

56:54Olivia Attwood:And I've already got the silicone, so I don't need it. What have you been looking into? Don't do, can't help me.

56:59Alan Carr:Is it, can he look at women's tits? He did used to be a... Well, anyone can look at women's tits. I can't. That vomiting.

57:09Olivia Attwood:Okay, so Zach Palanski. He just seems a bit fun. I quite like him, yeah. Is that boring? He's got fucked up teeth as well.

57:15Alan Carr:Yeah, well.

57:17Olivia Attwood:Alan, who do you think I should have on the list?

57:19Alan Carr:I think you should have...

57:24Alan Carr:David Dickinson.

57:25Olivia Attwood:Oh, I'd love.

57:27Alan Carr:He would be amazing.

57:28Olivia Attwood:Oh, I'd actually love. Yeah. He's kind of an icon. He is iconic. He's a legend. Yeah, I had a selfie with him at the NTAs one year. My mum loves Antiques Roadshow.

57:38Alan Carr:It's not on Antiques Roadshow. It's Dickinson's Real Deal.

57:41Olivia Attwood:Is that all the same thing?

57:43Alan Carr:No. Have you said that to him? Oh, my God. You didn't say I love you on Antiques Roadshow. The show is called Dickinson's Real Deal. But is it about... His name is in the title.

57:51Olivia Attwood:Is it about antiques?

57:52Alan Carr:Yeah, but it's not Antiques Roadshow.

57:55Olivia Attwood:I'm sure I said Antiques Roadshow.

57:56Alan Carr:Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. No, you say I want to jump in a bin.

58:00Olivia Attwood:Homes under the hammer?

58:01Alan Carr:Is there a window?

58:02Olivia Attwood:Homes under the hammer? No! That's not even antiques.

58:05Alan Carr:That's Holmes Under the Hammer. You know when they give the title to the show, it's to help the viewers have an idea of what it's about.

58:16Olivia Attwood:Oh, I knew it was antiques. He was fine with it. He loved it anyway.

58:19Alan Carr:Oh, I bet he was like, ooh, yes.

58:21Olivia Attwood:Yeah, he loved it.

58:23Alan Carr:I haven't even got them.

58:23Olivia Attwood:Okay, who should we blacklist?

58:26Alan Carr:Alan Carr. I won't be coming back. Well, we have no brine left anyway. I'm out of brine. I'm out of brine. Oh, that Alana Alana-stasia I'm out of brine Alana-stasia Oh, Alana I thought you were doing across Anastasia Yeah But Alana You too I mean, it's called words Look it up Well, no You said Alana-stasia Was it a play on words? She's called Anastasia What do you think this is? Alana-stasia I'm out of brine Oh, yeah It's not the best joke It's even shitter When you've got to explain it

59:01Olivia Attwood:Your podcast is available Where everyone gets their podcast and you're going on tour in 2027. Yes. Have I said too much?

59:10Alan Carr:You've said more than enough. No, yes, I'm going on tour, back to my first love. It's how it all started back in 2000 when I started doing warm-up like Lee and everything. So, yeah, I'm ready to go. I love it on stage. It's free. No, it's not free. It's freeing. Freeing. But not free to get in.

59:28Olivia Attwood:They can buy tickets now.

59:29Alan Carr:They can buy tickets. Well, they're selling like hot cakes. You heard it here first, guys. Yes, yes.

59:34Olivia Attwood:Run, don't walk. Well, it's been an absolute pleasure. You've drunk me dry. Thank you for visiting Olivia's house. We love you. I've had the best time. I don't want you to go. I want to do a lock-in. Shall we? Let's do a lock-in. Let's do a lock-in. More brine, please. Like, subscribe, follow. Love you. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

1:00:03Olivia Attwood:Woo! Woo! You can't say drinking Storm makes you smarter and more focused. But with zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine and immunity support, you're smarter and more focused for drinking Storm. Storm. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.