3 Ways to Learn to Regulate Your Emotions in Stressful Times & Approaching Disagreements with Respect and Positivity in Your Relationship

29:02Or like sometimes when you get pregnant and then you like hate your husband. Yeah, a lot of my friends have been to it both ways. Yeah, definitely. You're like, can you stop breathing in my direction? What I also liked is you delved into how to fight well. And I don't think we talk about that ever. Yeah, we never do. Fighting is an art form. It's Kung Fu. It is. Or it's MMA. Or it's wrestling. Or it's something. And not knowing whether you're MMA or whether you're wrestling or whether you're Kung Fu is where the issue comes from. I do think in my relationship, once I understood them more and learned not to take things personally, it really helps.

29:41Because sometimes they'll say something and you're like, you don't even understand me. And then you realize like, oh, that's how, you know, his father spoke to him. That's all he knows. And then you decide, do I want to deal with this? And he's never had the chance to even reflect on that because he may not be aware or she may not, or they may not be aware. I think so many of us, if you've done a bit of work, you can see it. But the problem is when you've done a bit of self-work, you start judging everyone else. And you want to avoid that because it's a really unhealthy way to do it. You should go to therapy.

30:10No, you should go to therapy. Well, you go to therapy. Well, my therapist told me that. My therapist told me that my dad can beat up your dad. Like in the playground, that's what it was. It's like my dad would take out your dad. My therapist knows what's going on. Literally, but John and Julie Gottman, who have been married for God knows how many years, but they have an amazing study called the Gottman Institute, which looks at all of this amazing research. And they found that the number one thing that keeps couples together is not date nights, it's not walks on the beach it's not dinners it's not movie nights it's not holidays it's learning how to fight and when i saw that i was like wow like learning how to fight is a skill it's an art form and kind of like what you just said about taking things personally so when me and my wife first started dating and when we got married and when we first argue i want to talk about it now and figure it out right now that's the kind of fighter i am right and men can be very logical like well a plus b equals c so what are we doing and i and i'm very much like that yeah and i call that in the book venting it's like i want to figure out now and i want to do it right now my wife is what i call a hider she wants to go into a room she wants to like not talk to me she wants to think about it she wants to reflect on it she wants to figure it out at the beginning of our relationship i took that personally i was like oh wait you don't care as much as i do because i'm standing right here and you're like i want to fix it you're giving up exactly and then only to realize that that's just how she dealt with it because when she came back sometimes two days later it's a bit of a long 10 years later waiting outside but like two days later when she came back it's like i'm like oh she was actually in a place to process it and so what we found is you need two days i need one hour like now we're gonna meet in 12 hours a day like we're gonna meet in the middle and figure it out and then the third uh fight style i explained is exploding where it's like i want to talk about my emotions right now so you're not trying to fix it you're not trying to solve it but you need to be heard neither of these is good or bad it's recognizing that we're all different and we all deal with stress and conflict differently yes and if you saw your partner for just a style like you're like that's this that is so smart i actually my husband and i once he like upset me with something and i said that upset me i want you to apologize and he basically was like you're overreacting i'm not apologizing so we sat there and we just started dying laughing because like we were looking at it based on our styles where i was like you're being stubborn and I'm being triggered and you're, and we, instead of fighting about, I mean, the actual thing was very stupid.

32:43We instead were like, okay, how do we long-term fix this? Cause I'm like, I just want to hear you say sorry. And he's like, well, I don't want to admit to something. I don't think I did wrong. And the next thing you know, you're like, oh, we are working on this long-term relationship. I think relationships are just, do you want to talk to this person for the rest of your life? Yeah. Yeah. And can you navigate that conversation? which is like what you said it's not about the fancy extravagant vacations it's about are you on the couch and can you tolerate basic conversation can you solve problems together and do you want to grow together i i read this research that that kind of goes exactly with what you just said it was saying that if you want to consider someone a casual friend you have to spend 40 hours with them if you want to consider someone a good friend you have to spend 100 quality hours with them and if you want to consider someone a great friend or a best friend you have to spend 200 hours with them of deep time and so when i think about being with someone or if you think about having a future with someone it's like do i want to spend 200 deep quality hours getting to know this person is a great way of knowing whether there's longevity here and i think nowadays we don't think like that we're like if i post him on instagram are the girlies gonna love it do we look good aesthetically and i learned from an i feel like everyone has that one relationship where you're with the person that society tells you you should be with i always i have i'm a stand-up comedian i joke about disney and how disney like who we should be attracted to like as a young girl it's like there's that one prince on a horse with this stupid hairdo and he's probably a narcissist and he takes up all the space in the room and you're like that's the one everyone wants me to marry and then you find that guy and he makes you feel horrible and you're unfulfilled and you're shell yourself and then you're like wait i don't even have anything in common with this man and just because you know so-and-so thinks it's cool you're dating a guy on the football team or something and i think we all have to overcome it's almost like an ego death with relationships 100 so well said how did you realize your wife was the kind of person that you could spend the rest of your life with deep deep question uh she's listening so don't yeah exactly so i was attracted to her from the first moment i saw her so that was easy that part that part was already taken care of if you asked her she'd be like yeah she wouldn't she wasn't she wasn't i I feel like guys are pretty black and white with that.

34:58Like they're either like, I want to be with her. Yeah, yeah. And then getting to know her, I think, I just found that she just made me laugh. Like she is hilarious. She's adorable. She does the funniest stuff. That makes me so happy that you say that. Yeah, it's like, ask any of my team. And she's like that with everyone. It's not like she's just like that with me. It's like, that's just who she is. And she radiates this like pure joy in anyone who's ever around her. It's almost like people become friends with me and they're like, oh, Jay, I really like you. And then they meet my wife and it's like, who's Jay?

35:27That happens every time. Like that is literally my life. Everyone's been in a relationship where like you're with someone and you're like, don't say that thing. Where like you can tolerate them alone. But then in a circle, you're like, oh, I just think he's tall. But socially, I actually don't like how he deals with people. So to be proud of how your partner exists in the world is huge. And I'm just jealous of her because she just steals my friends. but no I think she's very I think the thing about I love about my wife the most is I think she really knows me deeply and she accepts me for all that I am all my flaws all my mistakes so I feel like I've showed her as time's gone on more and more of myself and I don't feel that I've ever felt judged criticized or not been given compassion and grace at any of those points and I think that that's why I love her because I know that whether we had anything or didn't have anything I know that she'd be right there.

36:20She's been with me since day one as well. So as a monk, there's not a lot of monks who have become famous and you are putting yourself out there. You're putting all of your teachings and thoughts into the world to be judged. Do you have any, there's so much fame going on nowadays. Do you have any insight of how you deal with the public eye in a like peaceful way yeah that's a great question uh and obviously i always say like i'm not a monk anymore so i i teach from my practice that i lived as a monk for three years but now i'm married i'm a business person i have i have a have a podcast and books and everything else and so one of the biggest things for me and how i deal with the public eye is i am very open and at the same time i understand what needs to be kept private and confidential so i don't believe in living a life where everything's on show and everything's for display i think there are so many experiences that are more beautiful when they are truly between two people yes or a friend and a family member whatever it may be like i don't live in a world where everything needs to be out there at the same time i love being vulnerable and authentic and open with my community and my audience but certain things could be really tainted in the wrong way when you just do it for attention or the public eye grasp onto it yeah exactly and so i so i i feel like i try to create that healthy balance between what's truly for me and what is it that I want to share.

37:47I'm always thinking about what I'm sharing. I'm like, how does this add value to someone's life? Like a vanity shot of me is not going to add value to anyone's life. Yes. And so I'm always trying to think like, how does this really impact someone? How will this make someone's day better? Like that's what I think about a lot. And I also made peace with it, with the idea that there is truth in people's commentary on something and there's also sting. Yes. And your job as a content creator, as a author, as a whatever you may be, is to figure that out, is to take the feedback, is to extract the parts that can help you and leave the rest.

38:22So it's almost like leave the sting and take the feedback. And so you're almost extracting the poison from the process. And there's a lot of good out there that can help you. There's a lot of even what you'd put as hate that could be very useful. I found I mean I'm going very deep here but I think we've been kind of oscillating in a good way between deep and silly which is fun the idea that I find that fame being imperfect in the fact that it comes with a lot of judgment or criticism is what detaches you from fame which is what keeps you humble grounded and also protects you from your inevitable irrelevance one day and so i think you can get so attached and fixated to fame and if fame didn't have those stings then you'd you'd think fame was the best thing in the world and you would think that it's the most amazing intoxicating you would lose touch with reality which is that you're a human exactly and i just had um and obviously what to speak of myself i just had kevin hart on the podcast and he was talking about this exact thing where like his fame he felt he was indestructible at this point he felt that nothing could get at him and he was like fame let him down like it was the same people that were and that's when the world's like oh you're ready to get exactly shown reality again yeah and so like he was saying like when he was popping the people that were popping bottles in the club were the same people that turned on him and so you know i think that that to me is that's why we get these little reminders and so i take them as a little reminder fame is imperfect fame is not the goal of life uh it's it's wonderful it's great but it's it isn't everything like that's so powerful because i wanted to hear from your perspective as someone who's like lived a life that was so anti that do you have any advice for social media usage also because you both of us live our lives on social media we make money from social media we spread our life try spread laughter and insight and wisdom and wisdom a ton of wisdom um do you how do you monitor social media and and living yeah i i think that it's it's really interesting when you've come from a world like for three years i didn't know who the prime minister of england was i didn't who won the world cup and i honestly sounds so relaxing yeah and so i've come for you know that was a long time ago now i left the monastery 10 years ago but for those three years i had no access it's like big brother but less drama yeah that's an interesting way of putting it i want a monk reality it's just them like this yeah just like that the whole time like we just don't move like you're you're trying to on a midnight to see something and nothing's changed like it's the same.

40:52But I find that for me, like social media is something that I have to be very intentional and conscious. So I always make sure that it's not the first thing I see every morning. So studies show we have 60 to 80 ,000 thoughts per day. Now, if I asked you to control 60 to 80 ,000 thoughts, you couldn't, it's impossible. And 80 % of those are negative and repetitive. And so most of us are saying the same negative thing. Like you look in the mirror in the morning, you go, I'm ugly. or I don't look great today. Get to lunchtime, you look at your phone, selfie. Oh God, I still look the same, right? You're like repeating a thought again and again and again.

41:28It's like comfortable. Exactly. And it's relatable and it's familiar. And so what I say to people is make sure that you choose intentionally your first thought of the day and your last thought of the day. You can control two thoughts per day. And so my first thought of the day, I don't want it to be based on news, negativity, notifications or noise, which is what my phone's gonna give me if I pick it up first thing in the morning. So even if you can create a seven minute gap between when you wake up and picking up your phone, a five minute gap to brush your teeth and like just get to that point of having a shower.

42:00Even if you can just do that, get there because I promise you it's going to give your time, your mind time to warm up. And one of the things I often mention is that waking up and looking at a phone is like letting a hundred people walk into your bedroom in the morning before you've got up. You would never let a hundred people walk into your bedroom. A literal nightmare. literal nightmare you'd be like wait i need to do my makeup you'd be like oh wait a minute let me just put on some clothes you'd be like oh wait let me whatever also like i don't want to know how everyone is doing like i can't take in all that energy you can't you just need to get your energy right but when you pick up your phone that's what it is a hundred people just walked into the bedroom of your mind and now you've set yourself up to be reactive to all their needs all their requests and so i find giving yourself that gap so for me one thing is giving myself that gap the second thing is i consider myself to be fairly present if i'm at lunch or dinner i Me and my wife had a rule that we set a while ago in the home, which was no technology homes and no technology times.

42:56Sorry, let me take that again. No technology zones and no technology times. So, for example, the dining table and the bedroom are no technology zones. Oh, wow. Because I'd rather eat with you and I'd rather sleep with you. I don't want to be like, you know, in this in between. Yes. And then no technology times, like after 9 p.m., let's not be on our phones. you know before we finish our meditation in the morning which is something we do together we're not going to look at our phones and so i find that even and we're not perfect we break those rules all the time like yes do i have my phone out you guys are wild yeah exactly yeah like 10 30 p.m i'm on my phone oh my god yeah but you know i'm not saying we follow those rules perfectly but even having those yeah just sets better barriers and boundaries so i but i think the biggest thing is please create a five to seven minute gap between waking up and looking at your phone because your phone's just gonna bombard you with negativity noise notifications and news and now you start your day on a minus four and your whole day you're just climbing up the ladder trying to get back to zero yes when you could have set yourself up one thing i've been reflecting on lately is how even the smallest choices can create a big impact over time whether it's choosing to spend a quiet night in to recharge or making a decision that brings you closer to a long-term goal.

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45:56No matter my destination, travel is more rewarding with Chase Sapphire Reserve. Discover more with Chase Sapphire Reserve at chase.com forward slash sapphire reserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank, NA, member FDIC, subject to credit approval, terms apply. Yeah, it's like immediately getting a punch in the gut that you're kind of doing to yourself because you didn't have to look at the phone. I'm talking to myself as I look at my phone. Wait, okay, we're going to get a little darker. We're going to play a final game. But actually, I've added this new question that I think is fun. What is like your version of hell?

46:41Ooh, I think to know that everyone you loved had like a terminal illness or like everyone you loved is like to disappear in the same way. like if everyone of your family was traveling on a plane and then you never saw them again like to me like that's the worst thing that could happen because you you know even with the you know you yeah that would be the that would be hell because i just watched the last of us is that what it's called the last of us on hbo is that yeah it's the oh my god it's so good i highly recommend it's it's very apocalyptic right um fungi anyway but did you mean more like casually hell no that was hell's a strong word that was the first time i've ever asked this on the spot it's like a new thing i'm throwing in it's deep it's i mean yeah you see what people like immediately go to of like what they value and what they don't want to lose time to play the seven deadly sins okay yes what are you greedy about oh what am i greedy about uh i'm gonna ask my team in a second but what am i greedy about um and it could be something physical and it could be something emotional well greedy which i've had to work on a lot is sugar i love sugar i'm greedy about good chocolate like i'm addicted oh yes before i met my wife so yeah chocolates she gets you onto like the dark no my wife's kept me away from the darkness because she's like extremely focused dark chocolate no she's kept me away from dark and old chocolates but yeah probably chocolates oh yeah i looked at her page i mean oh she looks very healthy and knowledgeable.

48:12Who are you envious of? Oh, that is such a good question. Okay, who am I envious of? No, I'm going to be honest. I'm envious of Cristiano Ronaldo because I think he's amazing. I'm going to be straight up. If I could have been a football player, I was never good enough. He deals with a lot, though. He does, he does. And that's what you realize, right? Like, even the people you look up to the most are dealing with so much. I mean, yeah, he deals with way too much more, you know, and... I mean, that's why I came up with the concept of burning in hell because I started to meet these people I looked up to.

48:41And then you start to realize everyone's living through their own. I even was thinking like, why did LeBron, like LeBron James, is he that much happier than all of us? And then I realized like, everyone has the cards they're dealt and their own experience. And he doesn't have some like karmic thing that made him like, his hell is as painful as our hell. It just might be in a mansion. Yeah. Yeah. And the thing with Cristiano Ronaldo is I don't, and obviously I'm half joking, but I think it's I think he inspires me and sometimes I look at envy as not that I want what they have or what he has it's almost like that's what I aspire for and he's great in something he inspires me by his mindset he inspires me by his dedication like his hair I want to his hair I mean I mean maybe I could I could you can make some edit no no I mean I think my hair's good like um but uh I think I think for me it's more like I aspire in so many ways to carry that spirit for what he does for his love that I can do that for my love so that's what I mean by anything in that context did you manifest this life for yourself oh wow um I would say that when I started I had no idea that it would ever get to this point and stage I love that I would say no oh I love because I didn't really ever believe that this many people would care about well-being mindfulness meditation health so I'm so grateful and humbled every day that I get to live this life I love that because i almost think that if you manifested like i want to be like have millions and millions of followers on instagram you wouldn't have gotten there you manifested i want to fully understand these teachings and be able to teach people yeah i think what i manifested was i want to do what i love every day and what i love is learning teaching sharing experimenting and living and i'm going to find a way to make that relevant accessible and helpful to people and practical to people and that you love the journey of it absolutely and if you don't love the journey you're not going to get anywhere absolutely powerful these are great questions oh my god thank you when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger oh that's a really tough one oh gosh i i so i've never been i grew up in a house where there was a lot of anger and so i very early on was like yeah i'm not gonna be angry and even when i met my wife we were like we're never gonna raise our voices even if we argue even if we fight it's never abusive it's never so so anger is like a rare rare rare emotion for me like irritable yes from a man that's powerful i feel like a lot of men well because my dad scared me when he was angry right like it's like if you've seen anger at like its peak and extreme yeah you don't want to go near that you know so i can't i really can't and that's not me being insincere i just genuinely cannot remember the last time i was angry oh i can but it wasn't wrath it wasn't right this is me being slight half silly again yeah when my wife for my birthday bought me a tablet that was an asus not an ipad right asus like no offense to asus but when i said i wanted an ipad it had to be an ipad but it was not it was an asus so you just threw it across the room no no no that's what i mean it wasn't right i was so polite i was like i was like you got me an asus i was like really like an asus um can you and she was like no but my family.

51:55You're like, are we also Android users now? Yeah. She was like, my family told me it's like really good technologically and it's like better. You're like, well, your family hates me. And I was like, well, your family doesn't know I wanted an iPad. I honestly can't remember the last time I was angry. But that's, it's also the fact that you meditate every day is probably very helpful. Yes. Yeah. Um, cause I joke that a lot of men, whenever they experience anything besides anger, they like don't know what to do. So it's nice to have men feeling other emotions than just immediately making it like the most masculine.

52:27Yeah. And I think doing certain things that can express emotions that are healthy. I mean, I played a lot of rugby growing up and I feel like as a young man, if you did have any anger or frustration, like you had an outlet where it was welcome to be physical. And so like even today, if it's like, I know a lot of my friends like we'll lift or do tough workouts or we'll go on a hike or like something that's challenging is often where you can channel that anger. And I find like if you don't channel your anger towards something that's challenging you take it out on someone you care about yes and i think that's what hurts me the most is that the people that matter to us most get the worst of us and the people that we say that are first in our lives get the worst of us and i would never want that to be the case and i don't want to live in a world where i just treat my wife with anger and then i'm like i'm sorry i didn't mean it and i think once you've said something you don't mean it never goes from someone's memory it's always there and so I kind of take that very seriously that I don't want to say something that I don't truly believe yeah I was a tennis player and I definitely like hitting a ball I would just go to sleep after the ball doesn't have feelings do you have a physical regimen too do you do yoga or you run what do you do for your body I've oscillated between a bunch of things right now it's hiking every day I hike every single day for about an hour uh it's really beautiful i love it also gives me the sunlight in the morning gets my circadian rhythm moving yes uh there's enough of an incline where it's challenging it's it's great cardiovascular health i played tennis during the pandemic oh cool that was really fun but i realized when you take up a sport when you're older you're good while you're practicing i didn't play for a year i am terrible so i was like i was like i could play some tournaments now and then i didn't play for a year and now i'm like guys tennis is so like skill and timing and feel but i loved it so i I play tennis I I've broken I've been sometimes I'll be at the gym sometimes I'll be hiking sometimes I'll be playing tennis so I'll mix it up it's good I mean I live a similar life to you and where like sometimes you're touring sometimes you're on the road so sometimes I have trouble with that like consistency that I used to have as a kid when I was like just training um but it is important to move your body I'm trying to tell myself that it is so important oh speaking of when's the last time you were a sloth so like had like a real lazy day oh probably like last weekend um or maybe yeah yeah maybe a couple of weekends ago i try and have a sloth i try to have a sloth evening once a week where i could like order all the food that my wife would never condone oh hell yeah go all out uh when she's not around what's your like guilty pleasure like your least monk-like thing about you that people would be surprised to know ah least monk-like probably like addiction to like fried food sugar chocolate fudge cake with extra chocolate toppings like it has to be food related because yes i have such a like yeah i have such a big sweet tooth it's like burgers fries pizza pasta with a ton of yeah like i had i used to go to a place here in new york called terry's and i invented a shake there it wasn't named after me or anything cool like that i just used to go there i'll be like i love the usual and they'll be like what do you want to explain it but i'd get them to grind up a brownie into their milkshake oh for that texture and i was like i was like can you grind it just perfect so i can still taste the brownie pieces like it needs to come up the straws and it's like and so yeah yeah you're getting like too many emotions with it yeah i get too connected talk about love yeah exactly um okay this is the hard one when was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something oh my god i I mean, every time I talk to my wife, like, so I, uh, it's hard.

56:06It's hard. This interview is so good, by the way, you're killing it. The person you love the most is, is the person who gets that side of you. Like, yeah. And they know you so easily to like know exactly your triggers or like things that piss you off. Yeah. I, um, I officiated Jen and Ben's wedding last year and I've been asked about it a lot. Oh yeah. That's on my mind. So I officiated this wedding last year. Jen and Ben, casual. And I was practicing to my wife the day before. And she saw me practice. I had my notes. I rehearsed it for her. And she goes, that's terrible. She was just like, that's really bad.

56:42She was like, you got to change that. And I was like, and my whole ego, I was like, do you know who I am? I was like, I've been asked, don't you realize? And it was just really interesting because I was like, and then I was like, all right, I didn't obviously. I said to her I was like no no no it's really good I mean I thought about this she was like no no you need to change the whole thing and it was just really interesting because all my ego wanted to do was defend myself but then I'm like but she just wants me to be good tomorrow that's all she wants she's being honest with me when no one else would be honest with me true everyone else would literally be like that's the greatest thing I've ever heard Jay you're amazing totally she just wants me to be good tomorrow and she knows what you're capable of exactly and so I rewrote it and it went really well and she was really happy with it and I think that for me is a perfect example of how every part of me was just defending myself.

57:28And I think we do that with our partners with everything. We defend ourselves because we want them to love us. Yes. We care so much about what they think. We care so much about what they think, but we don't realize what they think is love. Like that is care. Them saying, Hey, I think you can be better at this. I think I know you can do better. I know how great you can be. That is the deepest form of love and care. Not someone pretending that you don't have something in your teeth. you're so right find the person that tells you there's something in your teeth someone came up to me the other day and told me i was just about a film actually i was doing an interview last week on my podcast and my videographer said to me bro you've got like chia seeds all up in your teeth and i was like all right all right i'm gonna get them out it's the most la i've ever heard there you go i'm so la i'm so la i'll take it i'm so la okay final question what advice would you give to the listeners on how to cope with your hell when you're going through it you're in your darkness whether it's in a relationship your job what are some go-to things that you like to turn to the first thing that i've always said to myself is this only makes the story better one day you're going to tell your story one day you're going to share it it may just be with a family friend it may just be it may be with your child it may be with a brother a sister a parent and when you tell that story your hell is what's going to make the story really connect and impact and help people and so don't lose that part of how amazing this will make your story people will be able to relate to your hell far more than your heaven uh because your hell is is something everyone can connect to everyone's been there uh the second thing i'd say is what is this telling me i need to develop as a skill not what do i need to learn what's the skill that i need to develop in order to break through this right maybe you're holding um a blunt sword and you can't cut what's down in front of you so it's like okay let me learn to sharpen the sword that's the skill i need right now and i think often when we're struggling we're like why is this happening to me i wish this wasn't happening rather than going wait wait wait what skill do i need to learn maybe the skill is mindfulness maybe the skill is resilience maybe the skill is learning how to fight and if you focus on learning a skill now you've got amazing ammunition for the rest of your life you can pull it out of your toolkit whenever you need it yeah so i'd say that's the second thing and the third thing that i say to myself when i'm going through a tough time or or walking through hell is actually it's the opposite reminding myself when i'm in heaven that hell is just around the corner and reminding myself in hell that heaven is just around the corner and both have to work together that when things i always say to people when things are bad work hard but when things are good work harder because we get so complacent when things are good.

1:00:05And when you get complacent, when things are good, the hell feels much worse. And so just, just, just live in this equanimity of, I'm just doing my purpose, whether it's hell or heaven. Yes. Instead of being so extreme with the light and dark, it's like you're existing. Yeah. I'm existing. I'm, I'm, I know what I'm doing, whether it's hell or heaven, I'm going to wake up and do the same thing anyway, whether it's hell or heaven, I'm going to wake up and meditate, whether it's hell or heaven, I'm going to wake up and work out whether it's hell or heaven i'm gonna try and serve and impact people because that's what i was born to do anyway wow jay shetty just served it up in hell this is so fun that was amazing that was i was like i want to push him i want to challenge him and you knocked everything out of the park tell everyone where they can get your book where they can follow you where they can see you live give me all the tea absolutely so if you want to read the book or listen to the audiobook version which i read out myself gorgeous eight rules of love.com the number eight rules of love.com and if you'd like to see me on tour i'm going on my first world tour ever very excited uh to a city near you head over to jsheddy tour.com and you can get tickets for the international tour that is so exciting thank you for coming to hell we'll talk to you guys later bye thank you so much

1:01:26Imagine the Lord of the Rings if Frodo never had to leave the Shire. How about the Wizard of Oz with no tornado? Or picture Black Panther if T 'Challa never had to battle a challenger for the throne. They'd be totally boring, right? That's because every epic journey includes obstacles to overcome, mountains to climb, and magical rings to destroy. Okay, maybe not that, but you get the idea. The next seven minutes are about your story and how struggle makes you stronger. I'm Jay Shetty. Welcome to The Daily Jay. Now, before we embark on this great adventure, let's get centered by taking three deep breaths.

1:02:17Inhaling. And exhaling.

1:02:25arriving and settling, connecting with this moment and tuning in. So I'm going to let you in on the world's worst kept secret. I love the Dark Knight trilogy. I think Christopher Nolan's reboot of the Batman saga is absolutely epic. The characters are incredible, the story rich and engaging. One of the things I love most about Batman, aside from the fact that he gets the coolest gear ever, is that unlike many other superheroes, he wasn't born with special powers. He didn't acquire them as a result of some freak laboratory accident or insect bite. Bruce Wayne is a regular human, just like you and me.

1:03:17He needed to battle those villains, along with his own doubts and fears, in order to become Batman. The point is, there's a reason that we're captivated by the Batman movies and countless other epic tales. It's because they take us on a rollercoaster ride. First, the main character is up, then they're down. They win sometimes, but they also lose. Their final victory doesn't come without significant struggle. And it's that wild ride that makes the triumph all the more inspiring. But here's the thing. While we love to read or watch a great story, we're sometimes afraid to live one. We've somehow been trained to believe that only good times are worth living.

1:04:10that happiness and joy are what life is all about. We've made an enemy of so-called bad times. We don't see their value and so we try to run away from them or erase them from our memories. But tough moments are there to give something to us. If Bruce Wayne had just gone about his regular life, if he'd never risen to the challenges set before him, He would have never become the person he is by the end of the story He would have never become capable of saving Gotham City He would have never become a hero There's a Zen proverb that says Obstacles don't block the path, they are the path I've gone through some really hard times I'm sure you have too And when I find myself resisting what's happening Or I start to question why I have a trick that helps me adjust my mindset.

1:05:08I pause, take a breath, and tell myself, this only makes the story better. So instead of resisting challenges, think of them as brilliant plot points that make your life richer and you stronger. Maybe even a hero. On that note, let's do a visualization exercise together to provide you with motivation for your journey. Begin by getting a little more comfortable wherever you are, landing in the here and now and letting distractions fade into the background.

1:05:55Taking a couple energizing breaths and grounding in the present.

1:06:05feeling your feet on the floor or your seat in the chair, solid and connected.

1:06:22Now bring to mind a superhero that inspires you. Picture them in your mind's eye.

1:06:36think about their traits, the heroic qualities that have helped them become who they are and really connect with that source of inspiration.

1:06:55Now look inside of you and see if you can find any seeds of the heroic. It could be something as simple as feeling the stable power of your feet on the floor. Or maybe a memory of a time you felt courageous. Whatever it is, start to cultivate this quality within yourself.

1:07:28If you're feeling some self-doubt or uncertainty, that's natural. Bruce Wayne didn't become Batman overnight. I just hope you don't give up on the greatness within.

1:07:50And let's open this up How do you generally view tough times or roadblocks that get in your way? Can you reframe your outlook on challenges?

1:08:07Finally, can you think of your personal story as a hero's journey?

1:08:18I hope you feel inspired by today's message. And if so, make sure to pass it along to an everyday hero that you know. In the words of Superman, you are much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. I'll see you tomorrow.

1:08:40This episode of On Purpose is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. I believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given and Chase Sapphire Reserve has been my gateway to the world's most captivating destinations When I use my Chase Sapphire Reserve card I get 8 times the points on all the purchases I make through Chase Travel and even access to one-of-a-kind experiences experiences like music festivals and sporting events and that's not even mentioning how the card gets me into the Sapphire Lounge by the club at select airports nationwide Travel is more rewarding with Chase Sapphire Reserve.

1:09:17Trust me. Discover more at chase.com forward slash sapphire reserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank, NA. Member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. Terms apply. This is Mario Lopez with one with Mario Lopez daily podcast. Toyota is moving toward a more sustainable future by giving you the freedom to choose from a full lineup of hybrids, plug-in hybrids, regular gas, and 100 % electric vehicles, including stylish cars like the Camry and Corolla, as well as efficient and spacious SUVs like the RAV4 and Grand Highlander, all backed by Toyota's reputation for reliability. No pressure, just possibilities.

1:09:58Visit buyatoyota.com for a great deal on an efficient Toyota today. Toyota, let's go places. Hey, audiobook lovers. I'm Cal Penn. I'm Ed Helms. Ed and I are inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with our new podcast, Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Each week, we sit down with your favorite iHeart podcast hosts and some very special guests to discuss the latest and greatest audiobooks from Audible. Listen to Earsay on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow Earsay and start listening on the free iHeart radio app today. This is an iHeart podcast.

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