7 Habits to Be Present When Everything Feels Like It’s Moving Too Quickly (Busy People Listen Now)

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0:54This episode of On Purpose is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. I believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given and Chase Sapphire Reserve has been my gateway to the world's most captivating destinations When I use my Chase Sapphire Reserve card I get 8 times the points on all the purchases I make through Chase Travel and even access to one-of-a-kind experiences experiences like music festivals and sporting events and that's not even mentioning how the card gets me into the Sapphire Lounge by the club at select airports nationwide Travel is more rewarding with Chase Sapphire Reserve.

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2:20Subject to change. And I've said this before, but I'll say it again. The challenge is we eat where we're meant to sleep, we sleep where we're meant to work, and we work where we're meant to eat, right? We'll work on the dinner table, we'll sleep on the couch, we'll be entertained watching a show in bed. And it's so confusing energetically, it's so confusing for the mind, it's so confusing for the space, and it's confusing for our brain because we're constantly glued to three devices in all different places. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

3:00Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so deeply grateful that you decided to tune in today. I want to thank you all for listening every day, every week, every month. It makes such a difference to know that our community is growing. I know so many of you are sharing episodes with friends, with family, with people that you're just meeting and coming across. And I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. And I want to thank the people I've bumped into this week, whether you met me at an airport, a street, a restaurant, wherever it was. Thank you for coming up and saying hello.

3:38Thank you for sharing your on-purpose story with me. I'm deeply touched and I appreciate it so much. Today's episode is all about speed, pace, time. How many of you feel like time is just getting faster and faster and faster? As we get older, it feels like time's flying like it never has before. The week goes by and you wonder, where did it go? The month goes by and you wonder where did it go? And right now you're thinking, how are we already in May of 2024? How are we already getting to June of 2024? How did this happen? Where did the time go? I find myself asking myself this question. I find myself talking to my friends about this.

4:31I find myself feeling like something happened four years ago, five years ago. And then I realized actually it was just last year. Time truly flies. Now there are so many theories for this. There's so many reasons for this. Some reasons suggest that when we're a child, a week or a month feels like a huge part of our life. Whereas now as we get older, a week or a month doesn't feel like any time at all, right? There's so many more things we have to process. Another theory suggests that when we were younger, we had more unique novel experiences that we could get immersed in. Whereas as adults, we have routines, we have checklists, we have things that we need to get done.

5:15And those experiences don't feel like they last as long. And so time flies. Now, whatever it may be, I think we've all had this experience where we wake up and we go, I don't know where the time's going. I don't know what's going on. Everything feels so fast. And Gandhi has a famous quote that says, there's more to life than increasing its speed. And I think we've all had that experience where our life has got faster, we're moving more, we're maybe even doing more, but we're being less. We're more active, but less present. We're more accelerated, and so our view is blurred. So what I want to share with you today is how to slow down and zoom out when things get too busy and too fast.

6:05If you've been feeling overwhelmed, stressed, feeling a lot of pressure lately, this episode is for you. If you feel like you're doing more than ever, you're moving faster than ever, this episode is for you. And if you're someone right now who's just feeling like everything is feeling really heavy and you're feeling like there just isn't any space, this episode is for you. Now, I'm going to be real with you because I think we can stay in this phase for years sometimes, right? This isn't just something that crept up on us. Sometimes we find that years have gone by feeling this way. So my first insight that I want to share with you is wake up 20 minutes before you actually have to.

6:52The experience of time begins from the moment when you wake up. So if your first thought when you wake up is, I'm late, I'm already late, I'm already behind, I'm already, you know, going to miss that meeting. Now you're already living in a feeling that you need to catch up with time. You're already feeling behind the clock. And so our relationship with time is really, really interesting because our language and our thoughts set how we feel. So if we say things like, oh, I'm already behind. I'm already late. I'm running late, right? I'm running out of time. And we wake up with that feeling, that thought tends to repeat itself for the rest of the day.

7:37And that's why waking up 20 minutes before you have to, just 20 minutes before you have to, and that time for you is to do three things. I call this the three C's. The first is to connect with yourself. Just take a moment to check in with how you feel and what you need today. What's the one thing you need to do for yourself today to make it a great day? The second C is your calendar. Take a look at your schedule for the day. What's the one thing you need to do today to make it a great day? And then the final thing, connect. Connect with someone else. It may be a family member, a loved one. Check in with someone.

8:19So connect with yourself, look at your calendar, and check in with someone else. Those three things in that first 20 minutes can give you the boost. And that check-in at the end could be sharing gratitude with someone. Could just be a message that you send to someone. Wake up 20 minutes before you have to, because what you'll find is if you start your day slower, mentally and physically, you can maintain that momentum as it speeds up. Often we think, oh, I need to slow down my whole day. I need to cancel things. That's not sustainable. We got a lot to do. I get it. I've got a lot to do. But I find that waking up earlier just by 20 minutes can start that process.

9:02So for me, I'm really focused and always working on how much I can wake up three hours before my day starts. And that's something I've built up towards. I didn't always have that. That wasn't always something that I've practiced. And I completely understand with different people's travel schedules. And if you have kids, this is much, much harder. And I completely empathize with that. But I'm sharing this as an idea of if you could wake up 20 minutes before you have to, before you need to, so that you actually have 20 minutes of slow time. See, most of us find that all of our time is fast time because we have to be somewhere.

9:40We had to be there yesterday. We had to solve that now. And so we almost need to create more time where it doesn't matter where we are. Now, I find that you can extend this into the weekend. I think if you could have one Saturday a month that didn't have a schedule, right? I remember my mom having to take me to swimming lessons and then having to take me off to play sport or whatever it may have been. And I find that we're often always on a schedule. And if you think about what it was when we were kids, the reason why time felt the way it did is because we had so much playtime, right? There's this beautiful quote from George Bernard Shaw, where he said that we don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing.

10:30And to me, playtime means time without time. It means having no time limit It means having no schedule It means not feeling like you have to be somewhere at a certain time Now, that may not be possible on the weekdays But imagine if you had one Saturday a month One Sunday a month One day a month Where that day time didn't matter So waking up 20 minutes before you have to And finding a day a month Where time doesn't matter Will help you slow time right down The second principle I want to talk about is one device at a time. One of the reasons why time feels like it's so fast is more often than not, we're engaged with three screens, three devices.

11:18So check this out. You have the TV on, then you and your partner both have your laptops out doing some work, and then you both have your phones next to you. So there's five screens in total, and you're looking at three screens each. You've got your phone, you've got your laptop and you've got the screen on the wall. So now you've got three devices. Imagine how much information that is to process. Imagine how fast that is. So you've got the movement of the characters on screen. You've got the movement of the spreadsheet or the presentation in front of you on your laptop. And you've got the movement of TikTok or whatever you're scrolling through on your phone.

11:55You've got three different things moving at the same time and you're trying to make sense of all of those, or even if you're not, your brain is. This is one of the things I realized that you may be saying, oh, well, it's just in the background. Your brain is processing background noise, background sound, and I'll get onto that in a second. But it's really important that if you wanna slow time down, one device at a time. One device at a time. Either your laptop, your phone, or the screen. Don't do all three at the same time. you're asking for too much from your brain. You're asking for too much to be processed, too much to be thought about, too much to be reflected on, too much to be made sense of.

12:37So make a commitment with your partner that if you're both watching something, you're going to watch something. And the best way to do this is just to create spaces. I call it no technology zones and no technology times in your home. So I believe that the dining room and the bedroom should be free of technology forever. We should eat and sleep in those spaces. And I've said this before, but I'll say it again. The challenge is we eat where we're meant to sleep, we sleep where we're meant to work, and we work where we're meant to eat, right? We'll work on the dinner table, we'll sleep on the couch, we'll be entertained watching a show in bed.

13:16And it's so confusing energetically, it's so confusing for the mind, it's so confusing for the space, and it's confusing for our brain because we're constantly glued to three devices in all different places. So making rules with your partner and saying, look, the dining table, no technology allowed, right? The couch, only the TV screen. Okay, in bed, we're going to have no technology there, right? Setting these rules. Now you are going to break these rules. You are going to make mistakes. I do all the time. But I find that having the rule is healthier than not having the boundary, right having the boundary even if you break it even if you make mistakes is a healthier place to be hey everyone it's Jay here my wife and I have had so much fun creating our own sparkling tea Junie and I've got big news for you it's at Target and we'd love your support if you can go out grab a Junie you'll be adding adaptogens and nootropics into your life with mood boosting properties aimed at promoting a balanced and happy mind.

14:20Through our commitment to our wellness journey and striving to fuel our bodies with the healthiest ingredients, it's been our purpose to make healthy choices accessible for all, which is why Junie is now on shelves at Target. So head to our store locator at drinkjunie.com and find Junie at a Target near you. This segment is sponsored by State Farm. Life moves at such a fast pace that we often don't take the proper time to celebrate it. We get so caught up in everyday tasks, work and personal issues that we forget to pause and take a second to breathe and celebrate life. I recommend taking at least five minutes each day and reminding yourself of your accomplishments.

15:02Here are a few ways you can celebrate life every day. Be kind to others. It can be as small as a compliment, opening the door for someone, or even covering someone's bill at the grocery store if you're really feeling generous. Express gratitude toward others. It will always go a long way. Be more meaningful than you ever imagined. Highlight other people's achievements. It can be your boss, your team, colleagues, significant other, or a family member. And do something you love every day, whether it's playing video games, going on a walk outside, taking time for yourself. This year, I've made a commitment to myself to slow down and celebrate all that is happening in my life, both personally and professionally.

15:40In my professional life, it's easy for me to quickly move from one thing to the next. So I've been mindful of taking a second to pause and celebrate accomplishments with my team. Every week, we do a weekly win session where we go around the team and everyone shares what they've done that week, what they've achieved. And it could be something everyone knows about or something no one knows about. But I've found that it makes a real difference to everyone's morale and energy. In my personal life, my focus has been on celebrating others, whether that be around someone's birthday, life achievement, or simply connecting and celebrating their presence in my life.

16:15I've found myself even more fulfilled when I focus on celebrating others than when I celebrate things that are happening. I have found myself even more fulfilled when I focus on celebrating others. There is a saying that talks about how when you give love to others, you feel love. And celebrating others has proven to me that this couldn't be more true. State Farm is also here to help you celebrate life's wins. The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

16:50Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Step number three is to take a moment, take 30 seconds when you enter a new room, when you enter a new space, when you enter a new part of your day to engage all five senses. So most of us are purely relying on our eyes to see. We're quite visually oriented and we don't really engage all of our senses. But how many times have you been walking past something and you smell something incredible and all of a sudden you're present?

17:33How many times are you walking about something and you hear something and you go, oh, that's interesting, I wanna know more about that. Imagine if you engaged all five senses in a room you want to be in. So if you're feeling distracted, you're running from meeting to meeting, even if you're running from Zoom meeting to Zoom meeting and you're feeling quite disconnected, you're feeling kind of flustered, take a moment to practice this technique. It's known as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique Five things you can see Look around the room And look at five colors Shades Shapes Just look around right now What are five things?

18:10Look at the colors, the shades, the shapes, the design And look at them more consciously than you normally would Now, four things you can touch Maybe the clothes you're wearing the desk you're at, the texture, feel it, notice it, closer than you usually would. Now, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Notice how quickly you become physically present, mentally present, when your senses are all engaged. And notice how usually when we walk into a room, we might be listening to the person in front of us and we might be looking at them. But our sense of smell is not engaged.

19:00We don't feel that we're engaged through a sense of touch and not through a sense of taste. Engage all five senses. Now, this next one's really, really important. And I'll tell you why. And it's about safety, but on a mindfulness level, on a slowing down level, it's about being present and conscious. Obey the speed limit. If you have to drive, one of the ways we feel the most rush, one of the ways we feel the most out of time is when we're driving. So most of us who are driving faster, we're not only causing, of course, potential risk for others and ourselves. but what we don't realize is that's where we feel it.

19:44We're like, I'm going to shave off two minutes. Is it worth taking the risk that two people may lose their lives if we shaved off two minutes? And I know we feel it, by the way. I feel really proud, right? When you feel like, oh, it was going to take me 30 minutes to get there. I did it in 26. Are those four minutes worth the risk of what you may have to experience because of those four minutes. Will those four minutes change your life? They won't. But will those four minutes potentially cost someone else their life? Yes. And you. There was this amazing video that I saw years ago on social media.

20:28And it was a video where they interviewed teens about how many of them are able to text and drive. And all these texters and drivers were like, yep, I can text and drive. Sometimes I have one phone in one hand. And the interviewer was encouraging them to be like, wow, that's pretty impressive and tell us more stories. they then brought in an individual who shared their story their story was they lost a family member because of someone who is texting and driving and all of a sudden all these texas and drivers most of them teens early 20s started to you know i mean a lot of them were crying a lot of them were feeling terrible a lot of them were you know a little bit shocked and i think it's so important for us to realize that shaving four minutes off isn't going to change our life, but it could change someone else's.

21:22And I think on a deeper level, from a mindfulness point of view, when we're driving at the speed limit, we're actually really present. We have to be focused. We have to be there. And that slows things down because we're no longer trying to rush. We're no longer trying to achieve that shaving off of time. And cars are a place where I know a lot of you listen to the podcast. And I think that's amazing that you're using that time to feel like you're growing and learning. And hopefully not feeling like, oh, I need to rush out of this situation scenario right now. The next step I want to share with you is being present with your breath.

22:04and one of my favorite practices, I do this throughout the day, is breathing in for four and out for four. What I find is that most of our stress and tension is experienced when our mind is ahead of our body or our body's ahead of our mind. How many of you have ever woken up in the morning and your mind is racing so many thoughts and your body's like, oh, I just wanna be in bed? Or you experience the opposite. Your body's running around, but your mind is saying, I can't do this right now. And so when we breathe in for four and out for four, we count one, two, three, four as we inhale. And we count one, two, three, four as we exhale.

22:46Try it with me right now. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. In, two, three, four. out, two, three, four. The simple act of inhaling and exhaling for the same count, the mind is counting and our breath is moving with it. So we're aligning the body and the mind through this simple practice. Anytime you feel tension, it's because your body or mind is ahead or behind one or the other. And this simple activity just brings them back into alignment. I do this when I walk into a meeting. I do this before a phone call. I do this before I read or send a stressful email. I do this before the workday and after the workday.

23:40This is a simple practice that we can do throughout the day to be reconnected with our breath and our body, to be present once again in our breath and our body. Having the right people in your corner to support you is a great form of self-care. Just like the friend who shows up to a housewarming party when you get that dream home, celebrates your big promotion, or goes with you on a walk to clear your mind, State Farm is there to help you feel supported. They have different coverage options, whether it be for your home, car, motorcycle, boat, or even RV. With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help protect what's important.

24:21And with so many coverage options, it's nice knowing you have help finding what fits for you so you can continue to celebrate all of life's biggest milestones. Go online at statefarm.com or use the award-winning app to get help from one of their local agents. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

24:44This episode of On Purpose is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. I believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given and Chase Sapphire Reserve has been my gateway to the world's most captivating destinations. Every time I travel, I find a part of myself I didn't know was missing. I remember being in this small town, completely unplugged, and for the first time in a while, I felt still. Travel does that. It grounds you, expands you, and connects you to something deeper. That's why I'm always looking for experiences that go beyond the typical. Chase Sapphire Reserve makes traveling a breeze, earning eight times points on all purchases through Chase Travel and granting access to Sapphire Lounge by the club at select airports nationwide.

25:33No matter my destination, travel is more rewarding with Chase Sapphire Reserve. Discover more with Chase Sapphire Reserve at chase.com forward slash sapphire reserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank, NA, member FDIC, subject to credit approval, terms apply. Okay, I'm going to assume that everybody messages their friends. I'm also going to assume you've run into some issues when messaging, especially during group chats. I know I have. One time I sent a message way too fast, full of typos, and everyone had to guess what I was even trying to say. WhatsApp can help. First, you can message privately with everyone, even if you're all using totally different phones.

26:22It just works. Sent a message too fast and instantly regretted it? No problem, just edit it. And when the chat gets a little too intense, you can switch to a group video call and actually talk it out. Photos and videos come through super clear and messages get delivered without weird gaps or delays. Plus, WhatsApp has so many great features like polls, pinned messages, and even event invites with RSVPs so planning stuff doesn't just turn into a mess. I mean, it just makes a lot of sense. It's time for WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone. Step number four. This one is one that I learned many years ago now.

27:07It was when I moved to New York. So I moved to New York in 2016, and I used to find that by the end of the day, I was exhausted. Now I've worked in London. I grew up in London. And so I've been in a busy city. During my monk years, I spent time in Mumbai and Mumbai is a very busy city. But there was something about New York where I would feel exhausted at the end of the day. And I didn't have the energy really to go out. And there were a lot of things related to that for sure. Maybe I wasn't on the right vitamins and supplements, which I think make a huge difference. There were many reasons. But one of the things that I looked into, which I saw made a big difference to me, was that I didn't spend any time in silence.

27:51Now, I did my meditation, but I didn't really prioritize silence throughout the day. Now, research has shown that when you're in longer periods, extended periods of silence, it increases your brain cells and therefore helps you be more focused and productive and it helps you relax and slow down and what happens is that our brains experience something known as cognitive load so cognitive load is the amount your brain has to process and when i was in new york i realized that my brain was constantly processing the roadworks the cars the sirens the horns the noise, the people, everything. So what happened was that my brain was always active, because even if you don't think you're consciously trying to make sense of it, your brain is.