8 Reasons Why Traveling Alone is the Ultimate Path to Self-Discovery & Why You Should Take a Solo Trip

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1:21There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more present and self-aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss all these themes on the podcast but it's hard to actually be mindful in your day-to-day life. That's where Calm comes in. I've been working with Calm for a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness fun and easy. Calm has all sorts of content to help you build positive habits, shift your self-talk, reframe your negative thoughts and generally feel better in your daily life. So many incredible options from the most knowledgeable experts in the world along with renowned meditation teachers.

1:59You can also check out my seven-minute daily series to help you live more mindfully each and every day. Right now, listeners of On Purpose get 40 % off a subscription to Calm Premium at calm.com forward slash J. That's C-A-L-M dot com forward slash J-A-Y for 40 % off. Calm your mind, change your life. We're not really clear on what's important to us. And so when someone else tells us what's important to them, we import what's important to others into our own likes and dislikes. When you travel alone, you give yourself the opportunity. You give yourself the space. You give yourself the time to recognize what's important to you, what's meaningful to you, what's valuable to you, what's real to you.

2:50The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to listen, learn and grow. I'm so grateful that you're back here with me. And today's episode is all about why you need to take a solo trip at least once in your life. Now, before you turn away because you're too scared, before you're like, Jay, I don't want this, I don't want to go there, hear me out. I'm sure you've heard about your friends doing it. Maybe a family member do it. Maybe your kids said to you that they want to do it. Solo trips are becoming more and more normalized.

3:32They're becoming more and more prevalent. They're more and more in demand. So much so that Forbes actually made a list of the 10 most popular solo travel destinations for 2024. And the report went on to mention everything from Japan, Argentina, Colombia, Sri Lanka, Ecuador. You've got Jordan on that list, Thailand, Philippines, Bali, and maybe one more as well. But what's incredible about that list is that it's showing that there's this newfound interest in traveling alone. And I know what some of you are thinking, Jay, traveling's always better when you're with other people. Traveling's always more fun when you're with family or friends or whatever it might be.

4:19But hey, I think that we're all feeling like we don't always have enough time. A lot of us are feeling we don't have enough time alone. A lot of us can't get schedules to match. Or maybe you've just gone through a breakup recently. Maybe you've gone through a life event, whether it's you're taking a sabbatical. Maybe you've been working for too long or you want to get this in just before you start working and you're the only one of your friends who actually has that time and energy and intention to want to do it. Maybe you're curious to what it might be like. Well, today I want to give you some of the reasons maybe to reaffirm your curiosity or if you've never considered it at all to maybe think about why it could be really powerful for you and useful for you as well.

5:07And so I'm really excited that you're here with me and that you're taking a chance on this, because I do believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given. And the fact that today it's become simpler and easier than ever before is truly an amazing blessing that we all have in our lives. and I wanted to share one of my favorite quotes about travel that inspires this desire that we all have and it's this one it comes from Lisa Ling where she said the best education I have ever received was through travel I love that quote because I realized that there are so many ways to learn today, so many ways to grow, but travel definitely is one of the most special ways.

5:59So let's dive in to the reasons I think you should take a solo trip, some of my experiences, and also some of the best lessons I've learned along the way. Now, today there's a lot of talk about self-awareness. There's the need to understand who you are. And I think solo travel is by far the number one way to learn about yourself. You get to know yourself the quickest, fastest, most accelerated way when you choose to travel alone. Now, when you're traveling with others, you might be used to doing what everyone else does or going along with what everyone else chooses. Someone else chooses the dinner spot.

6:43Someone else chooses the bar. Someone else chooses today's adventure. today's activity, and you might have for a long time gone along with what's known as the bandwagon effect, or as we call it, herd mentality. The idea that if enough people want to do it on the trip, you're happy to go along. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. You can have some beautiful experiences because of it, and I've definitely had some of those. But I've also realized that it's so rare for us to know what we actually want to do. And one of the reasons we're indecisive, one of the reasons why we struggle to make choices is because often we've just avoided it for a long period of our life.

7:23Maybe we've never been asked. Maybe when we were asked, we just deferred to someone else. And maybe it's been so long that we've actually disconnected from who we are, what we want, and what's meaningful to us. I mean, think about it for a second. If someone said to you, you could do anything you wanted on vacation, you could go anywhere you wanted, what would you choose? Would you choose a city break? Or are you sure you'd want a beach? Now, would you want an active day at the beach? Or would you want a sightseeing day at the city? Or are you actually looking for a city break with a bit of history and art?

8:00Or actually, are you looking for food and tourism? I think as we get older, we get a sense of this. But when you're on your own, you get really close and connected to what it is that stands out to you. I know that when I've traveled on my own, it's given me a sense of how for so many years, I might even have thought I liked what other people liked. I actually had this experience recently where me and a friend were traveling somewhere, actually, and their friend had already been to that place. Their friend was on the call with my friend and they were talking to each other. And the other friend was saying, I can't believe you're not doing anything.

8:41I can't believe you're not going to see any of the sights. I can't believe that you haven't rented a car. I can't believe that you're not going to go to this landmark or whatever else it may be. And I could see that it was really getting under my friend's skin. And my friend even mentioned to me like, Jay, are we not going to rent a car? Are we not going to do this? Are we not going to do that? And I could tell that they felt kind of uncomfortable and insecure. Now, at this time, I didn't know where that was coming from. So I asked them, where's this coming from? And they said, oh, no, nothing.

9:12And I said, no, no, no. Like, it feels like it's important to you. I'd love to know. And they were like, oh, when I was talking to a friend who was here a couple of months back and they made me feel like I was missing out. And I said, well, let's take a look at what they recommended. And so there were a couple of sites and we mapped it from where we were staying. And it was about one and a half hour car journey either way. And so I said to my friend, I said, is that what you want to do? Do you want to take a one and a half hour journey either way to see this site because we can definitely rent a car and do that if that's important to you.

9:43But I want to know if it's important to you. And I saw this look on my friend's face where they were reflecting. And then they said to me, they said, Jay, actually, I don't want to do that. We're in paradise. Why are we going to spend three hours in a car? And it was really interesting to me where just a few moments ago, that fear of missing out, that insecurity of I'm not doing enough, that feeling of, oh my gosh, they had all these amazing experiences. Am I wasting time? Did I get it wrong? Am I going to leave here feeling like I didn't make the most of it? We're creeping in. And so much of that happens.

10:20So much of that occurs because we haven't got to know ourselves. We're not really clear on what's important to us. And so when someone else tells us what's important to them, we import what's important to others into our own likes and dislikes, right? We literally extract and adopt what they find valuable to be valuable to us. When you travel alone, you give yourself the opportunity, you give yourself the space, you give yourself the time to recognize what's important to you, what's meaningful to you, what's valuable to you, what's real to you. And that's one of the reasons why I love working with Booking.com, because they have this filter where it's easy to narrow down your search to find the perfect match for your preferences.

11:18And what's really amazing is that they have this new AI-powered trip planner, which offers personalized recommendations to help you get exactly what you need. And that might even be a great way for you to discover what you might want. And when you're doing this, here's a tip that I'd love for you to practice. And it may feel weird at first, but give it a go. When you're thinking about what you want, don't try and make a choice. Just sit with it for a second and see how both experiences feel in your body at this time. So let's say you're trying to choose between a city break or a beach break. Just sit with that for a second and see how thinking about a city break feels in your body and see how thinking about a beach break feels in your body.

12:03What I love about this approach is that not only are you becoming more self-aware, you're actually gaining the ability to tune in to what you need. And what I'm trying to say here is that we often kind of label ourselves as beach people, city people, country people, whatever else it may be. And the truth is your body and mind may need something different right now. This is a great check-in system. I'd love for you to try it out. Number two, this is probably one of the favorite things I've learned about traveling alone. I travel alone fairly often, both for work and for pleasure. and I've found that it deeply grows your confidence.

12:43You know what it feels like to be in a random airport, which you've never been to, probably one of the smallest, maybe one of the biggest airports you've ever been to and navigate it. I remember years ago, I'd gone to a retreat in Europe, a meditation retreat, and I was on my way back and I was coming back before everyone else because I had to get to a different commitment, whatever it may have been, at the time. And I remember that I got late to the airport. I missed my flight. And at the time, I didn't have a lot of money. So I didn't really have enough money to book the next flight. I remember waiting at the airport for nearly, might have been like 12 to 18 hours overnight in an airport that I didn't feel fully comfortable in and didn't know anyone in and didn't know how to get by, didn't have enough money to book my next flight.

13:35And I got very, very lucky that I I got to come home because the airline was very kind. And it really built my confidence. Now, first of all, it taught me never to come late to an airport ever again. So now I'm that person who turns up to every flight three hours early. And it drives my wife crazy because she wants to have that adrenaline feeling of running onto the plane. Whoever you are, you're all weirdos, right? Like people who want to run onto the plane. I never want to be late again. I know what it feels like to sleep there without knowing what's going to happen and figuring it out. I don't want to be in that position again.

14:07And I find that traveling alone really builds your confidence. You choose your hotel, you book your hotel, you plan an itinerary, you develop so many skills in the process. And I know you're saying that sounds basic. Well, it doesn't. When you travel alone, you have to have the skill of mapping out your day, mapping out your journey. You're learning to trust yourself. You're learning to build the skills and habits you need to function in the real world. And I found so many people that I've recommended solo travel to, they come back and they say, I feel so much more confident. I feel so much more self-assured in my abilities and my skills.

14:49And one thing I've found is that your confidence also grows because you're getting to talk to people from different backgrounds, different walks of life. You have to navigate things not working out. And I'll get back to that in a second. Reason number three and lesson number three is it truly expands your worldview. I find that often we can live in such a cocoon. And it's easy when you travel to notice different sceneries. It's easy to notice different architecture. It's easy to notice different, you know, like the obvious things of whether there's a Starbucks there or not. But really what travel does is it shows you what a society, what a community, what a town values.

15:36It shows you what a place believes in. The way I'd like to think about this is think about what's at the center of a town. When you travel to certain cities, certain towns, certain countries, focus on what's at the center of it. It gives you an idea of the values of that place. It gives you an idea of the essence of that place. Think about what the tallest tourist attraction is there. What's the highest building, monument? What is it? It tells you a bit about what that city sees as powerful and as an important thing in that city. So think about what's at the center. Think about what's highest.

16:16And think about what what the country represents in terms of figuring out what's the biggest festival that happens there. You learn so much about a city or a town or a country by the festivities. And ultimately, you learn the most by speaking to the people there, which I'll get onto in a second as well. And so I really feel that there are certain methods, and those being my favorite ones, what's at the center of a city? What's the highest monument building part of a city? What is that? And how do they preserve nature? That's the third thing. How do they look after nature in that place? What does the nature say about that city, that town?

16:57And of course, if you're in the countryside, what experience do you get of nature? What are the festivals? What are the key events that that city, town or country hosts? This gives you a real sense of what that place is all about. And often we can miss it. We can just kind of get caught in, you know, going out to a restaurant, hitting a tourist attraction and not really getting to the essence, the roots of what defines that country. But it's a really beautiful, simple exercise to give that a go. And, you know, traveling pushes you to adapt and grow in ways you might not expect. And one of the things I love about Booking.com is that you can book the experiences that let you experience and explore different sides of yourself and the place.

17:41So whether you want to relax or venture into a new territory, Booker.com helps you plan for whoever you want to be on your trip. And I think that's a really important part of this idea of expanding your worldview. Are you trying to expand it historically, culturally, socially, food-wise, language-wise? It's a beautiful way to think about travel. It took me years to think about traveling that way. I used to think about travel as I've been there and I've been there, done that. And then I started to realize what a, you know, what a not great way to travel that was. Parking shouldn't slow you down.

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18:53Discover more at brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal housing opportunity. I'm Radhi Devlukia, and I'm the host of a Really Good Cry podcast, and I have the opportunity to talk to Logan Ury. Logan is a dating expert, a behavioral scientist, a best-selling author and someone who is seriously changing the way we think about love and dating. In our conversation we talk all things dating that Logan has studied and tested from what to put in your dating profile, the pictures you should and shouldn't be using to the conversation starters that actually work and the huge no-nos that people probably do not realize are reducing their chances of success on apps.

19:28Whether you're single, dating or just trying to be more intentional in love, Logan offers the kind of clarity we all need. Relationships do require work and the best relationships are people who really work on them together. They're so focused on if I find the perfect person, then I'll have the perfect relationship instead of understanding really that they can choose someone great and then build that relationship together. They don't need to keep searching for perfection. Listen to A Really Good Cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Number four comes from the confidence piece, but an important one nevertheless, self-reliance and problem solving.

20:08This one's probably my favorite. I'm sure if you've ever tried traveling on your own or even with a small group of friends, you're bound to encounter some challenges. Now, this is not including safety challenges and I want to make sure that you're traveling safely. I want to make sure that you're traveling in a place and in a way that is protecting you from any harm. But what I mean is you may have to problem solve. You may have a flight get canceled. You may need to jump on a train. You may need to learn how to use the local system. I remember some really horrifying experiences as a kid where I saw my parents problem solving and actually watching them problem solve gave me a sense of self-reliance in seeing how they navigated very difficult things.

20:51I remember once in a city, we didn't know how to take their subway system. And my parents maybe didn't get something stamped or whatever it was. And I remember like being separated from my parents and being held in a separate room. And I could see my parents being shouted at and they took our passports. And it was a really uncomfortable, nerve wracking experience for my parents and for me and my sister who were very young at the time. And that isn't an experience I'd want anyone to have. but watching my parents problem solve even I mean back in the day I used to see my parents pull out a map and navigate it or ask for help and I think all of those skills are really powerful in today's world where of course we become reliant on Google Maps we don't we don't need to ask for directions anymore we don't need to learn how to read a map but I think there are a lot of other aspects that you grow in when you travel alone of self-reliance and problem solving and I think that a lot of us today are looking for that.

21:51We've become so over-reliant and dependent on others. We crowdsource everything from what outfit should I wear tonight all the way through to is this job right for me or do you think I'm going to get picked, right? We crowdsource everything. When you travel alone, you get the opportunity to problem solve and be reliant on yourself. And one way to keep things stress-free is by bookingwithbooking.com because what I've loved is that they offer 24-7 customer service and helpful guides so you can follow your itinerary with ease no matter how complex it gets. So you can actually take the stress out of travel by planning ahead so you can focus on the experience and take care of yourself throughout the journey.

22:35And I think that's a really important touch and a part of travel, especially when you're learning to travel alone. And sometimes we underestimate these things when we're traveling with friends. You know, you always kind of figure it out with friends. But, you know, when you're on your own, there's a deep sense of self-reliance and problem solving that gets filled. Now, number five is mastering your mind. So this is the one I wanted to get to because I know a lot of you will be thinking right now, I have no idea how I do this. And I don't want to lie to you and tell you it's easy or I'm not going to just say to you, yeah, get on with it.

23:11I actually empathize with it. We're living at a time where we're so used to being surrounded by people. We're so used to having noise and clutter in our mind, in our space, wherever we are. And I feel traveling alone actually helps you master your mind. The first few days, it's uncomfortable. The noise and the chatter. Oh my gosh, I'm bored. Oh my gosh, why did I do this? Why did I come here on my own? What am I doing to myself? What is this? This is not right. I'm scared. I'm fearful. I'm insecure. Whatever it is, right? You're going to hear all of that. And day two will get a little quieter.

23:48And day three, it will get a little quieter. You're actually learning to master the mind, to still the mind, to experience the mind in its most extreme sense of fear, and then allowing it to dissipate and noticing that you have the ability to calm and still your mind when you travel alone. Yes, there will be anxiety. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Yes, it is taking you out of your comfort zone, for sure. It's doing all of that, right? It's doing all of that. But it's also just giving you space to say, I can actually acknowledge the voice in my head. I don't have to listen to it. I don't have to follow it.

24:29I don't have to be totally set of course for it. I can listen to it. I can hear it. and then I can choose what I want to do with it. Letting your mind slowly get quieter really allows you to build mindfulness. It really allows you to build that sense of I don't always have to listen to the voice in my head. I don't always have to follow the loudest shout in my mind. I can learn to allow it to come and go and then listen to what remains. Number six, you really challenge yourself to beat boredom and distractions. I'm sure you have a long list of podcasts you wanna listen to, a long list of books.

25:09I'm taking a three-day solo trip this week. And I am so excited because there are so many books that have been sitting on my desk, in my bag, and I really haven't managed to open up. And I am so looking forward to diving deep. And I know that in three days, I can do some serious damage onto my reading list. And I know just being present with that is gonna be so powerful for me. Now, I'm obviously reading a lot of growth, a lot of personal development, nonfiction. But even if you've been waiting to escape into a book, I feel like when you solo travel, you get to almost feel like you're a part of that story.

25:45You get to feel like you're a part of that experience. And so challenge yourself to beat boredom, to beat distractions, to always be on your phone when you're in another country, another space, another environment, another energy, another city or town. You don't have to travel to another country. It's incredible what you can achieve in terms of productivity, creativity, and just being able to disconnect from what you're used to, disconnect from what you're usually surrounded by. It's super powerful. for. Number seven is vigilance. I think this is a really powerful trait. And I think some of us have it.

26:24Some of us don't. And a lot of us need to develop it. What I mean by this is, can you read a room? I find that when you're surrounded by people you're used to being surrounded by, you're no longer reading the room, you're predicting the room, right? It's like Google where it's predicting your search. It's not reading it in the sense of it's not feeling it, It's not experiencing it. You are, but you're predicting it. You know how your dad's going to behave. You know how your friend behaves in a certain situation. What happens with that is we lose our ability to be hypervigilant. Now, when you're in new surroundings, in new spaces, you're actually just getting a sense of the temperaments of the people, you're getting a sense of the energy in the space.

27:05You're actually heightening your ability to tune in to your intuition, the energy around you, and how you feel about it. Now, you may say, Jay, that sounds like anxiety to me. It can be anxiety inducing, but it can also be a really powerful skill if seen in that way. You're learning how to navigate conversations with different people from different backgrounds. You're learning how to navigate a conversation with someone in a different language. You're learning to be vigilant in certain spaces. I remember getting lost in a town I was in a couple of, a few years back now, and I wanted to find a way out and I had to be extra vigilant about my surroundings to make sure I felt safe.