Ask Jay: How Do I Find My Purpose?

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2:03Jay Shetty:Some feelings are too big, too messy, too complicated to fit in a text. I know you know what I'm talking about. So you stop typing, hit record and just talk. That's what you sent me and I'm grateful for it. Today, we're opening up a conversation about purpose. We often treat purpose like a finish line. We think if he just reached that big goal, get that promotion, or finally find that one thing that makes everything click, we'll be satisfied. But purpose is not a trophy you collect at the end of a race. It is the fuel you use while you are running. Whether you're feeling stuck in the middle, burnt out by your own success, or searching for meaning that lasts longer than a single achievement, you are not lost.

2:44Jay Shetty:You're just learning how to build a mission that matters more than a milestone. What you're about to hear are real stories from real people who are part of this community. Maybe you could be one of them in the future. I can't wait to dive in.

3:02I'm in my mid-40s and within a pretty short period of time I've faced breast cancer at the end of a long marriage, and also a realization that the career path that I worked so hard to build no longer suits me or feels like what I want. For most of my life, I've been the reliable one for everyone else that worked, and personally, and appeared pretty capable of forming, even when I was feeling completely depleted. Those traits that helped me succeed, I became really good at meeting expectations, keeping everything together, but in that process, I lost touch with what I really wanted for myself. I kind of examined my life and where I want to go while recovering physically and emotionally.

3:44Sometimes I struggle to know whether the pull is genuine inner guidance or if it's simply another attempt to prove myself. So my question is, how do you tell the difference between your authentic inner voice and the survival patterns that you've been guiding your decisions for years?

3:59Jay Shetty:Well, thank you for that question. I want to start by just acknowledging the courage it takes to even ask this question. I find many people survive what you've survived, but they never stop to ask whether the life they're returning to is actually the one they want. And that's fine because sometimes the pain can be so overbearing, but you're doing something really hard. You're examining not just what happened to you, but who you've become because of it. Now, there was something you said that really stood out to me. You said, what I called strength was actually adaptation. And that's an incredibly profound reflection.

4:42Jay Shetty:Adaptation can keep us alive through difficult seasons. But the strategies that help us survive aren't always the ones that help us truly live. You can develop a tool or a habit because it helps you get to the top of the mountain. but that doesn't mean that same tool or habit will help you get to the core and the depths of yourself. And so I want you to think a bit broader about this. And this applies to everyone who's ever been in this position of finding, is this their authentic path? Is this their passion? Is this their purpose? The question isn't whether writing or speaking or coaching are the right path for you.

5:18The deeper question is, who is making the decision?

5:22Jay Shetty:Is it the part of you that believes your worth comes from being useful and productive? Or is it the part of you that feels most alive when you're helping people from a place of wholeness rather than expectation? I want to draw a bit of a difference for you between what survival patterns look like and what your authentic voice looks like. I found that survival patterns usually are a bit urgent. They're full of pressure. They're like, figure it out now. Do more. Become more valuable. Don't fall behind. Keep proving yourself. You've got more to show. And your authentic voice is often a little gentler.

6:01Jay Shetty:It's a little more quiet. It doesn't demand that you earn your worth. It's more of like an invite into, hey, I think this might be right for you. It's like a little nudge, like a gentle friend. And so the question I want you to ask yourself is, if no one ever praised me, paid me, or recognized me for this, would I still feel drawn to it? I remember in my own life when I was wondering what I wanted to do, I was doing this in rooms of three to five people. I would spend three hours a night, sometimes three nights a week, just helping people. I didn't get paid for it. I didn't get praised for it.

6:41Jay Shetty:Didn't have any followers, but it was beautiful. I loved it. And so I carried on doing it. So if for you, the answer is yes, I'd do this if I didn't get paid, praised, or recognized, you're probably getting closer to something genuine. Another clue is what happens when you're preparing to do the work and after you do it. Survival leaves you feeling like you have to keep running just to stay relevant, just to stay enough. Authentic work, it can still be difficult and challenging, but underneath the effort, there's a sense of peace, alignment. So you really have to observe yourself in the moment.

7:17Jay Shetty:I kind of think about it like, Like when you go to a restaurant, when you walk out, you know whether you like the ambience of the restaurant. You know whether you like the service or the food because you check in with yourself. So sometimes you have to do the act, not just think about it. You actually have to do it. Maybe you try some coaching, try some writing, and then you check in with yourself and ask, how did this feel? Did it feel authentic and real? Or did it just feel hard? Did it just feel fake or put on? And I want to share one more thing. You don't have to solve your identity in your head, right?

7:51Jay Shetty:Clarity doesn't come from thinking, it comes from living. So write before you become a writer. Coach before you become a coach. Speak before you become a speaker. Let the experience teach you what thinking can never do. Arthur Brooks' success trap is the exact mechanism you're naming. The reflex to reach for the next achievement as a way to feel like enough, mistaken for a calling. In his bestselling book, From Strength to Strength, Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, Arthur Brooks talks about how chasing external rewards raises your wants faster than your achievements, leaving you perpetually unsatisfied.

8:34Jay Shetty:And so I don't think you sound like that at all. I think you're somebody who wants to work from a place of purpose and fulfillment, but that's the way to know. Are you simply chasing a version of how you want people to see you? Or are you pursuing how you want to see yourself? This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda. Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them. That's the philosophy behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings.

9:10Jay Shetty:It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit mazdausa.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

9:41Hi. I recently left my corporate career to put focus on my mental health. I've been a creative director working in corporate marketing for over 10 years, and I started feeling like I really lost my personal and unique creative perspective. And so I left my job. When I did that, I decided that I should give myself six months of working on a passion project. And so I started a podcast. It's been really, really fulfilling. It has allowed me to express my creativity in the way that I want to. But I am approaching that six-month mark pretty soon. And I know that things take time. And the podcast has developed this, like, small, very loyal fan base that seems to be growing.

10:31But I have also never had this level of financial instability before. I'm wrestling with looking for a corporate job and just, like, diving back into that world, letting the podcast be a beautiful way for me to find my creative voice again. So my question is, what are the things that I need to ask myself in order to make the right move here?

10:52Jay Shetty:Thank you so much for that question. I can relate to so much of what you said, so I'll be sharing some of my personal reflections as well. But I want to start by saying, well done for having the foresight and the vision to pull away from your work. because when you've been doing something for 10 years, it's really, really hard to step away. And so the fact that you had the courage to actually say, I wanna protect my mental health, I want to pursue creative things, I want to follow my instinct and my intuition is an incredible step forward. It isn't a step behind. So well done for taking that step, truly.

11:30Jay Shetty:I see so many people who keep pushing themselves, maybe reach burnout or close enough and only take time when they break to do it proactively is a phenomenal step in self-awareness and moving forward. Now, what I'll say to you is you initially did this knowing you wanted six months out. And what's beautiful is that it sounds like it's been beneficial. I feel like you sound, like you feel good about this decision. You also have discovered the podcast, which I'm so happy you're building a small, loyal following. It means you're really having an impact on people. And I'm so glad that you're getting to see the value you have to bring others as well.

12:11Jay Shetty:And the questions I'd be asking are actually not so much about, do you go back into your job? Do you work on the podcast? Do you have to choose either or? The question I'd actually be asking yourself is, how do I do both in a way that allows me to feel good about myself and what I'm doing? How do I allow myself to not experience financial instability, but also not experience creative breakdown? Right? Before this moment, you had financial stability, but you didn't have a creative outlet. You didn't have that sense of balance and calm that I assume you're experiencing right now. And what you don't want now is that you have the calm, you have the outlet, but you don't have the financial stability.

12:54Jay Shetty:We want to live in a world where these two can coexist because both of them have an impact on your mental health. Right? I think often we live in a time right now that says, work's really stressful and I just need a break for my mental health. Not realizing that not having work, the financial stability, the routine, the rhythm, the colleagues, some sort of pattern, that can also be hard for our mental health. And so what we have to look at it and say is, what type of work? How many hours could you work a week? What type of colleagues do you need to be around? What type of workplace environment do you want to function in, in order to not feel that desire to run away, get away and escape?

13:33What does that look like?

13:35Jay Shetty:What are your new standards that you're going back to the world of work with, where you won't settle for less, where you won't compromise on your needs? Those are the types of questions I'd be asking yourself. That job exists, that work exists, you being clear about that exists, and you knowing what you won't settle for is going to make all the difference. At the same time, you have to choose some work that doesn't stop you from doing this podcast. You found a sense of purpose, you found meaning, you found value and fulfillment in it and you don't want to give it up. You've created patterns and rhythms and habits right now that seem like they're suiting you.

14:14Jay Shetty:How can you prioritize them in your life so that you don't forget to incorporate them when you go back? This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with Wi-Fi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a cellar or Northeast Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit Amtrak.com to plan your next trip. This episode is brought to you by Mazda.

14:53Jay Shetty:The best habits are the ones we hardly notice, the ones that quietly shape the way we move through life, giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with your drive, so you can stay present behind the wheel. That commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.IIHS.org to learn more.

15:30Jay Shetty:A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Mazda, more of what matters to you. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. Back into work. Don't make your purpose responsible for your paycheck. Don't put pressure on your passion to become your paycheck right now. It's okay to work a job that pays the bills. A job is what funds your life. It doesn't have to be the place where your soul does its best work. It can do good work, wonderful work, but it doesn't have to be the thing you dream of doing. I remember when I was in a similar position to you, where I was working a corporate job, and at the same time, I was creating videos online.

16:17Jay Shetty:And at the same time, I was coaching people offline. And at the same time, I was doing keynote speeches, all on top of my work. And my work allowed me to explore all these other avenues. And I also brought my passions into work. I remember becoming a mental health ambassador at work. I remember teaching mindfulness and meditation at work, which made work more meaningful. Take your passion into the workplace. Find your purpose in the workplace as well. Take this mental health podcast and make it useful to wherever you go so that you get to integrate your life, not disconnect it. What's really fascinating to me is that if you try and make your podcast your paycheck right now, it can put so much pressure on the creativity.

17:05Jay Shetty:The thing that currently brings you so much joy can very quickly turn into a source of pain. I've seen this time and time and time again, that when someone quits their job, they're doing their passion that brings them joy. And all of a sudden, their passion isn't paying the bills. And now their passion becomes a pain and a source of pressure. You want to allow it to continue to be a passion, continue to grow organically, continue to develop and keep building a beautiful fan base. And at the same time, have a source of income that doesn't cause you too much stress, that isn't causing you too much imbalance.

17:37Jay Shetty:Now, now you're thinking, Jay, that sounds like a perfect scenario. Of course, I'd take that. And you're right. There is not going to be a job that gives you the perfect amount of stress and the passion that keeps being possible to do all the time. There's going to be a little bit of a give and take. There's going to be a little bit of a compromise. But what you want to do is go in with your eyes wide open. You want to go into a workplace and be really clear about the questions you ask. Be really confident about what you bring. And you want to go and continue to do your passion, recognizing that you get to do it with your full creativity.

18:09Jay Shetty:This isn't an either or issue. I think what the mind does is it creates tension by saying you have to do this or you have to do this. And in effect, what the healthiest answer is, is to find the middle path. The path that balances both, the path that allows both to coexist, the path that allows both to be important parts of your lives. So this is more of a syncing up issue than it is a either or issue. And don't let the mind trick you into believing there's one right path or wrong path or there's a straight trade. There is a way of creating a collaborative opportunity for being financially stable and continuing to pursue your passion.

18:50Jay Shetty:Wishing you all the best. Move to this next chapter not with fear that work will be overwhelming again, but that your standards have been raised so that you know what aligns with you. This episode is brought to you by Walden University. Balancing work, life and big goals isn't easy. That's why Walden University helps working professionals get the W with tempo learning, so you can earn your degree at your own pace while gaining practical skills through real-life scenarios. You'll also learn from faculty with real-world experience and have support start to finish. Walden University, set a course for change.

19:28Jay Shetty:Ready to start? Visit waldenu.edu today. Certified to operate by Shev, Tempo Learning, available in select programs.

19:42Right now I'm in the middle of running a new business that opened up back in November. I will give a little bit of a backstory of myself. I am finishing my bachelor's degree right now. I also opened up a care business where it's in demand of services of pet sitting, babysitting, tutoring, and home sitting. I am now under the pressure of many things in terms of it's affecting my work life, my study life, my family life, and my relationship life. I have in my head that it's going to succeed, it's going to do great, everything's going well. but I also feel the challenges and that burden on myself that if I do any wrong move that my relationship's going to fall apart or my family's going to be disappointed.

20:25I mean I have in the back of my head right now that I would like to close the business because I also want to focus on my career but I'm also at the standstill of I need to move my apartment. I need to to find my new career as soon as I get my degree. My question is, what is the right decision to make in terms of priorities? Because there, of course, are the five priorities in life. But what is the one that matters most? And how can one not feel overwhelmed and burdened by just little decisions in terms of work life, relationship life, and family life?

21:05Jay Shetty:I want to say that what you've built is something to be proud of. You're finishing a degree, you start a business, and you're trying to show up for the people you love. I mean, you're winning right now. Like, that's unbelievable. Congrats. Like, that's truly brilliant. And the fact that you feel overwhelmed doesn't mean you're failing. It just means you're doing a lot. You're carrying a lot, right? And the biggest advice I would give you is this. don't make a permanent decision while you're in a temporary state of exhaustion. Right now, it sounds like you're asking, like, do I keep the business or do I give it up?

21:42Jay Shetty:But the real question might actually be, what version can I sustain right now with everything I've got going on? And it's important to remember, of course, that a business is supposed to serve your life, not consume it for sure. And you don't have to prove your worth by keeping something alive at the cost of your health, your relationships or your future. But you also don't have to abandon something you created just because this season feels difficult. And that's the important word there, season. There are seasons of life. Think about nature. You have spring, you have summer, you have autumn and you have winter.

22:18Jay Shetty:Nature is doing something entirely different in each season. does it mean that it doesn't prioritize growth in winter when the trees are bare? Does it mean that it doesn't prioritize beauty in certain seasons because it's going through a state of regeneration? No, we recognize that nature needs to do different things at different times in order to stay in sync, to stay coordinated. And so there will be seasons in your life where you focus more on your business than everything else. And there will be seasons in your life you focus more on your family than everything else. And there'll be seasons in your life that you focus more on your career than everything else.

22:57That's how life functions.