CARDI B: Overcoming Depression, Blocking Out the Hate & Owning Your Power

30:02This is LeVar Arrington from Two Pros and a Cup of Joe. Toyota is moving forward a more sustainable future by giving you the freedom to choose from an incredible lineup of trucks. Now available in both gas and hybrid models, including the legendary Tacoma and powerful Tundra. Both available with the iForce Max Hybrid powertrain and backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. More choices, less compromise. Visit BuyAToyota.com for a great deal on an efficient Toyota today. Toyota, let's go places. Residents at Brightview Senior Living Communities enjoy enhanced possibilities, independence, and choice.

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31:51talk to me about that depression for you as confident as you are as bold as you are to be so vulnerable and i'm so sorry you went through that but to be so honest and open about the fact that a year ago you were in this dark depression and it seems like the worst it had ever been. What got you there? Why were you feeling so low? It was just a lot of pressure from my career. And I also felt like my marriage, like I felt the love dying. From my end, from my end, from his end, I was very lonely because I chose to be lonely. I was saying like, you know what? I can't go through this anymore. I have to put a stop to it.

32:39But when I said I was going to put a stop to it, because you could say you're going to put a stop to it and you could, you could go a month without being around somebody. It's not when you say so. It's when your heart say so. I kept telling myself I will not contact this person for a month I will not give in I will not forgive this easy I will not go back I will not go to the pattern I will not go through it But I was crying every day I was hurt every day I was out here in LA In a mansion by myself I was thinking about it every single day And when your heart is not done Your heart is not done Then Then I told myself, I'm pregnant.

33:38I'm going to accept the, I'm going to accept my flaws, the flaws that I bring in this marriage. I'm going to apologize for it and I'm going to work on it. and when I take accountability and you take advantage of me taking accountability and you take that as a see I know she be back instead of me taking accountability and you taking advantage of that it really just killed everything and while it was dying I had a human groin in me and I just kept thinking like it's like, what's life going to be without this person? What's life going to be without raising my last child without this person? What's life going to be with that person not being my friend anymore without nothing?

34:35When you have those type of thoughts, it will make you sad. It will get you depressed. It will have you lost. but I overcame that and I am the strongest that I have ever been. I almost feel like, when was I ever my strongest? I felt my strongest when I was 22, 23, 24. That's when I felt like my strongest and I was living in a power. That's how I feel right now. I feel like I live in a power and it took months for the heart to say you're done instead of my mouth and my brain my heart had to be like you're done because you could say it and you could take actions but even if you take actions if you're not done you're not done like I kept asking like around that time I was working with Shakira and I was like how the did you over overcame this like how did you overcame this and And it's like, it's going to happen.

35:36And it's like, it will never happen. And it happened. It took some crying. It took some thoughts, scary thoughts. But I'm here, honey. Yeah. I'm here and I'm the strongest I've been. And I'm just. I love hearing that. But it was hard. I can tell. I can tell. I can see it as I'm speaking to you. It's not easy. And I think those moments in all of our lives are the most difficult moments. What did you do for your mental health at that time? What did you do? What actions did you take? What did you have to do to keep yourself together and come back the strongest you are right now? I think there are so many people who are listening, who have probably been through similar things, who feel broken, feel hurt, feel lost and confused.

36:28What worked for you that helped you come back the strongest you've ever been? I don't know if it was just time because I kind of did a little bit of everything. Like I did do therapy. I did saw a therapist. She's really good, by the way. It was like on Zoom. And it was like, I was telling myself like, it's like, I can't believe I'm telling a whole stranger my feelings, my thoughts, my personal business for three hours straight.

37:04I was just like what the fuck am I doing that just feels so weird I was in there I did therapy for I did a couple of sessions they didn't give me no nothing I was all spring all summer recording it just wasn't like enough I just felt like I just had to let it die on its own let things die on its own and the bad thing about it is that it's like not only am I dealing with that, that's my personal life. I was also dealing with fans putting pressure on me because they want, you know, they want an album, they want products for me. I had people that don't like me talking down on me. And then I had peers trying to start problems with me.

37:54And all of that, while I was going through a mental breakdown at home. So it was just a lot. It was like, I'm trying to work it. I'm trying to sleep it. After I gave birth to my daughter, my baby girl, I was just like, okay, take a break from work. And I was just going out every weekend with my friends. It was scary talking to somebody else and giving them a little piece of me. Not just my heart, just a little piece of me.

38:38But I overcame that. And that's why I feel like I just became a little bit more better, like just resetting. Yeah, it's a good reminder that time is the ultimate reset. And time does have a healing power that we, you know, the cliche of time heals all wounds. But it's the truth. But it's true. Yeah, it's a cliche because there's truth in it. Yeah. There's some reality in it that time and distance and being patient enough. I was working with a client recently who was going through a breakup. And when we would speak in the first month, she would tell me every single day that she couldn't stop thinking about the guy she was breaking up with that broke up with her.

39:25and then the second month she'd tell me every other day and then the third month she'd tell me once a week yeah and then the fourth month she was just telling me once a month and I was like you don't see it but I see yeah that it's affecting you less and less and less as time goes on but when it's you you feel like you're just still stuck there and so it's such a great reminder that time is the ultimate reset and time does heal and and just because time heal like in the meantime don't don't think that like you shouldn't like try to get help because it's like therapy didn't really help me like that it didn't work for you not as much well maybe because maybe because I didn't get to the part of where you get the help I mean I did do this like six sessions I don't know I don't know how long.

40:16Like sometimes when I give advice to girls, I be like, bitch, boss up. Boss up. Go to work. Get pretty. But even when I was doing that, I had like a pain in my heart. And sometimes when I was going out with my friends and I was having a good time, it will always be like around 4.30 a.m. When it's time to go home. And I'm drunk. And I'm thinking to myself. I am alone. I don't have nobody to talk to. And it feels really weird and it feels very lonely, especially when you're used to that. However, don't avoid that. Don't avoid that. But it will be time that will heal it. It will be time. Time just heals everything.

41:05When you said again last week you were saying when you put new music out it was kind of the lowest you'd felt in another year what's the hardest part for you to take that criticism because like you said you're quick with it you've got responses you've lived in a place where you had people coming at you why is it so hard to put out something you love it seems like you really put your heart into your work yeah and so when you put that out is is that why the criticism hurts the most because you put so much heart and soul into your work? Yes, because I put like a lot. I always, I don't like what, like I'm not a lazy person and I do understand my flaws.

41:45Well, it's not really my flaws because a lot of people will say something about my accent, right? But it's funny because my accent to some people might be my flaw, but it's also my superpower and what makes me unique. Some people say that I have a Spanish accent, but I really don't really have a Spanish accent. I have a very unique accent. I talk very unique. When you try your best to perfect your accent, perfect your flows, perfect everything. I always try to perfect everything that I'm doing at the time. I always try to perfect it. Even when I was a stripper, it's like, okay, I'm a stripper, but I'm going to be the best pole dancer in here.

42:27and I'm going to bust my ass, bust my knees, practice every day and to like be the best at it. That's the same with music. I'm going to perfect it. That's the same with my marketing. I'm going to perfect it. That's the same with my business. I'm going to perfect it. I like to perfect things. And if it's not the best things, if I'm not the best at it, I can say that I tried to be and I worked my ass off to be and I didn't make it easy. for myself. So when people just throw it in your face and then make other narratives on top of it with that, it's like, that is so mean. And it's also like different narratives of you.

43:11Like, it's like, wow, you don't even know me. You don't even know me. And you're making all these stories, scenarios, all this, this over one song. Like, for example, when I did this song and people didn't like this song, so many people was like, they just, Cardi never deserved to be a rapper. They just made it so easy for her. And it's funny because it's like, this shit was not given to me. I worked my ass off for me and I planned it. Just like you see when I was a little girl, I used to plan everything. I planned every step, every single step. and I might even be inspirational to other artists coming up because for a long time since I have such a big personality people just felt like she's funny she's funny she's funny so it was really hard for labels to take me serious and some labels were trying to give me scraps to do a slavering record deal and even when I was on TV and I thought it was gonna be my big break for people to recognize me as an artist.

44:22It wasn't. I was doing good numbers on my mix tape. It wasn't enough. So the money that I was getting for partying and hostings, I took that money. I made my own concerts. And the best thing about it is that everything is documented. I did my own concerts. For 500 to 400 people in New York, 800 people came out singing my songs. And I went to a label and I was like, this is why you need to sign me. It's not just Instagram. It is real life. And the$15 ,000 that I used to get for hosting parties, I used it to rent cars, rent buses. ran venues to perform my songs to show these labels like it's like I'm the one this shit ain't fake this shit ain't a personality thing this ain't a love and hip hop thing this is this is what my music is doing this is the people singing it and doing all of that and not being this far after you plan everything and people will tell you that you don't deserve it and you got it because of this, this, and that, that pisses me the fuck off.

45:42Yeah. Because everything that I did is documented. This shit wasn't given to me. I didn't open my legs for it neither. So that's the type of shit that be getting me angry. Like, it's like, don't tell me that I didn't put the fucking work in when I put the work in. There's days that I miss. I miss birthdays. I miss birthdays. I miss family events. this shit has gotten in the way of like my my my personal relationships marriage and everything just for somebody to tell me somebody that never did shit in their motherfucking life told me that i don't deserve it get the fuck out of here absolutely i mean you know what though i also find that instagram and tiktok or whatever platform it is the comments that are negative are just loud because you can literally go to someone's comment section and see negativity or whatever.

46:36But then, like you said, you go to an arena and everyone in the arena is screaming their name and singing their songs. And so it is this really weird thing that happens for the mind where you're watching your page or you're watching yourself on someone else's page and there's criticism, but then actually there's all these other people that love you. The negativity and the hate is just so loud. And people say stuff. Whereas the people that love you, they just press to heart. Right? So it's always like that weird thing where I'm like, the mind just overvalues negative feedback and undervalues the positive feedback because the negative feedback is just so critical and loud and heavy.

47:13When you reflect on it and after you think about it for a week, do you think I want to prove them wrong? Or do you go, actually, who cares about them? Where do you end up after a week of reflecting on it? Like last week, right? I was in tears. and I was telling myself, I was telling myself, like, it's like, not only myself, I told this to my friend, actually. I told this to my friend. I was like, sometimes people say, don't let the devil win. But what happens if you let the devil win? Maybe I need to let the devil win so I can have a peace of mind. And then I'm like thinking to myself, like, why the fuck would I ever say, let the devil win?

47:54Imagine praying to God on your knees every single night asking God, God, please bless me with this. God, please give me that. God, please give me this. Please give me that. Please bless me with this. Please bless me with that. Just so you could like everything that God gave you, tell the devil here you could have it. Because he's sending. sometimes the devil sends evil in human forms and human mouths and you and human's tongue just so you could tell the devil to have it like imagine how God feels imagine God be like all right baby all right girl here you here here here have this you wanted this here here's what you get and then like it's like it's like he's giving you something and then you go to school and they'd be like that's ugly and that's something that you've been asking him for a long time and now you don't like it because somebody told you that it's ugly.

48:53Yeah, well said. And it's like, how I almost let the devil win? And I was telling myself that, I was telling myself that and like I said, I was telling it but sometimes you gotta believe it from the heart because your mind could tell you it, your mouth could say it but you gotta believe it from the heart. This week though, I feel so much better and I feel so much confident and I was like, I'm not gonna let the devil win. I'm not gonna be like, you know what? I was telling my team, like, you know what? I just need some days off. And it's like, how the f*** are you going to take some days off when your team been planning all of these things that you had to do before your album rollout because of these people that are spewing things that the devil wants you to think of yourself?

49:36I almost let this motherf***er win. Don't let the devil win. Because how do you think I feel? How do you think I feel, Cardi? gave you all this shit you've been asking for forever, just so you could say that. That really pissed me off about myself because I can't believe I said that. Well, no, I think it's human. I mean, even as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking everyone will be relieved because when someone is confident and as bold as you are and as outspoken as you are, which are all amazing qualities, the truth is, though, that we all have these human moments. Yeah. And it's not a weakness.

50:14It's natural for all of us to feel pain, to experience sadness, to experience. And it humanizes you in a good way. It makes me feel like, oh, wow, if Cardi feels that, then, hey, I can feel that too, you know? If she goes through those days and she gets out of them and a week later she's feeling better and a year ago she was in a real mess and she's feeling better, then maybe I can take something from that as well. I'm not a perfect person. You know what I'm saying? I'm not a perfect person. And sometimes I'm a little bit misunderstood. How do you think you're misunderstood? I don't even want to bring this up again, but it's like, I could tell you how I'm misunderstood.

50:52I actually got dragged for weeks because of this. So I made, this, I think I'm just a little misunderstood. Sometimes I could be, I don't have a, I'm not a dark humor person. I'm not a dark humor person, but sometimes like my humor could be a little rough. And I feel like my humor could be a little rough because like, You know, like I said, like boys in the Bronx, they will make really tough jokes on you. And then on top of that, like it's like a family like mine, we're always cracking jokes on each other. Like it's like being Caribbean. Caribbean people, like if you're too skinny, they'll be like, girl, you're shaped like candle.

51:33Like you're shaped like a f***ing candle, just small like a f***ing candle, like a white candle. Or like the Americans, like when you're shaped like big from the top and small in the bottom, they'll be like, What does that mean? It's a certain type of yam. Okay, okay. And it's like, it's rude, but it's like, it's just something that is like people just joke around that it's just so naturally. So sometimes my jokes might be a little bit not for everybody. And when I make certain jokes, like, like I made a joke the other day with my fans because they literally started the joke. And then I continue the joke.

52:08And because of the joke and I refuse to apologize for it. People was just saying that I'm just such a mean person, that I was trying to bully people, that I'm hurtful to people. But it's like I wasn't even trying to hurt nobody. My intent wasn't to hurt nobody. It's just like everybody naturally jokes with their friends. Everybody naturally jokes with their peers. Everybody just might say not the most nicest jokes or stuff like that. However, like I'm not trying to hurt nobody. I don't want to hurt nobody. and so many people criticize me because of that or like judge my character because of that but it's like I'm not this evil mean person that people think that that I am I'm very actually compassionate I'm too compassionate that's why I cry for there's something that might be going on in the other side of the world I'm crying for it and it's like why am I crying for this like this is crazy I'm very compassionate and I'm very understanding and I'm a Libra so I see always two sides of the scale I always have sympathy Just a little I even have sympathy for For bitches I have sympathy for bitches That My man And they have taken a family loss I'm like damn I feel bad for her That's how Sympathetic I am Why do you feel sympathy for them?

53:26Like where does that come from? Or what do you feel? I don't know It's just It's just how you're made It's just how I'm That's just how I'm made And stuff like That's just how I am However However, people just have this thought of me, and that's because my mouth is so rough. Like, I'm a little rough, and I curse like a sailor. And I give advice very strong. But everybody in my family give advice, like, very strong. And I don't have yes-mans neither. So my friends will give me advice in the most rudest way. That is like, damn, bitch, do you like me? But it's the truth. And that's just how I am.

54:08That's how I'm going to talk to you. And that's just how I am because it's the truth. And you're like that with everyone. It doesn't change for anyone. And I'm like that with everyone. How about the kids? Oh, I'm like that. I'm like that with my kids too. Like, you little f***. God damn it, I'm tired. But you can tell me I'm a bad mom. I'm a great mom. If I'm good at something, it's being a mom. But sometimes I'll be like, get the f***. You little f***. Get the f***. God damn it, I'm sick of you. But that's just how I talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that make me a bad mom? I don't think I'm a bad mom.

54:48Shit, I give them too much to be a bad mom. It's funny you say that. I was talking to a parenting expert on the podcast a few weeks ago, and she was saying that parenting is the most inconvenient thing. She goes, you love them, but they're inconvenient. Like, it's hard, like, if you're honest about it. Oh, yeah. there's a real feeling about how tough being a mom is. How do you balance being a superstar and being a mom? Like how do you, you said it yourself, you want to be the best at everything. When you do something, you want to be the best at it. So I assume that applies to being a mom too. Yeah.

55:22And so it's like, how do you do that? What is it to you? What makes you a great mom? What are the parts that you focus on and how do you balance those two crazy worlds? I think that what makes me, I think that what makes me like a good mom, I don't give my kids it's not that I give my kids everything but they just think I'm so funny like even when I curse at them they just think I'm so funny and it's like I'm being serious with y 'all but they just love me I don't know why they I mean of course I know why they love me but it's like why y 'all love me so much I guess I'm a good mom because they love me so much they just think I'm so entertaining they think I'm so fun even when we just laying in bed they just want to lay in bed with me ain't no Target We ain't going to the goddamn Target yet.

56:05We ain't going to the fucking Target. Don't ask me for no motherfucking goddamn Roblox. That's exactly how. Don't come in here asking me for no goddamn Roblox. You ask me one more time for an iPad for one of your cousins, we're going to have a problem. This is exactly how I talk to my kids. And they still love me. They just love me. I don't know. They love me for who I am. They love me. I don't even know how to explain it. I do give them everything, though. but not giving them everything doesn't always make you the greatest mom because it's like you've seen you've seen cases where like the parents work so hard they give their kids everything and it's not enough like them two brothers what's they call again?

56:44Oh yeah the Menendez brother Yeah you could give them everything but if they don't love you they just don't love you I don't know they just they just love me I just always remind them that I love them but I will curse them out though

56:59Thank you.

57:33This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. 5 million people find their match. A short questionnaire pairs you with someone who fits your needs and if it's not the right fit, you can switch anytime. This World Mental Health Day, let's celebrate the therapists who have helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10 % off their first month at betterhelp.com forward slash jaystop3. That's Better, H-E-L-P, dot com forward slash JaysTop3. This is LeVar Arrington from Two Pros and a Cup of Joe.

58:11Toyota is moving forward a more sustainable future by giving you the freedom to choose from an incredible lineup of trucks. Now available in both gas and hybrid models, including the legendary Tacoma and powerful Tundra. Both available with the iForce Max Hybrid powertrain and backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. More choices, less compromise. Visit BuyAToyota.com for a great deal on an efficient Toyota today. Toyota, let's go places. Residents at Brightview Senior Living Communities enjoy enhanced possibilities, independence, and choice. Brightview Dulles Corner and Great Falls offer vibrant senior independent living, assisted living, and memory care services through various daily programs, chef-prepared meals, safety and security, transportation, resort-style amenities, and high-quality care.

59:09Take financial possession of your apartment by December 31, 2025 and save. Discover more at brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal housing opportunity.

59:28What's a quality or a skill that you have that you really want them to learn and develop and grow as they get older? I know they're young right now, but... Please don't be a bum. Please don't be a bum. Please don't be lazy. Some people are... Some people have the look, the intelligent, the talent. Some people really have that. but they don't go nowhere because they're lazy. Don't be lazy. Don't just be, oh, your parents are this and that. No, be your own person. Be your own human. Be something. Be something. Be something that you could be proud of. My mom, she was not, she was a lunch lady practically, but I am very proud of my mom because she used to work her ass off.

1:00:21She could have went to my grandma like, I'm going through a tough time right now. Can you raise my kids for a year or two? She never did that. My grandmothers as well, one of them got 10 kids. The other one got 13 kids. They work every day. My grandma from my dad's side, she gave birth to all her kids in her wooden house. And then a couple of days later, she working back in the farm. And she brought all her kids to America one by one, different time. Same with my grandma. For my mom's house, she had 13 kids. She used to cook, cook, cook, cook, sell food, sell food, sell food. She brought all her 13 kids over here.

1:01:02Like, there's no excuse. But I could say that because they did that. And you're going to be able to say that about me. Like, it's like, my mom worked every day. I seen my mom work every day. Be that. Be that. One day you're going to have kids one day, and you want your kids to say that about you. That you worked hard every day. that everything you got, you deserved it, that you made it. Nobody gave it to you. You don't want to be like, oh, you're just successful because you're a home man. Like I have a son. You don't want nobody to say that you fly and you fire because you're somebody's son. No, I'm fly because I'm my own man.

1:01:41I made myself a man. I work my ass off. You're going to have a bitch one day. You don't want your bitch to be like, oh, he a mama boy. he a daddy's no I'm a hard-working man baby girl you can come on same with my daughters you know they're gonna roll you over because you got your own shit you're more than just a pretty face be a boss be something please I don't give a fuck what they do whatever just just do not have that lazy bone on you like the ain't no way that I'm busting my ass for you motherfuckers just so you could end up not being shit. I'm giving y 'all everything. Even when they're 18 and stuff like that and it's time to leave, if you want an apartment, if you want a car, I'll give it to you.

1:02:30But please, please become something. Please don't be nothing. That would be the worst disappointment they could ever do. Don't disappoint me like that. Whatever the fuck y 'all do, Just don't be a nothing If you give it to them though Don't you think they'll be lazy then? Because if you give them an apartment And you give them a car Then they'll feel like Well I don't need to work Because mom's got me No because it's like Like alright for example I went to college right? But I had to drop by to college Because I had to work To just feed myself If you got a crib And if you could maneuver To college Or you probably want to open up a business or something, if you can maneuver and you don't got to worry about a bill, then it becomes easier for you.

1:03:21But don't make me give you an apartment or a fucking car and you just out here not doing shit. I better every single time I FaceTime you, you better be motherfucking doing something. If you in bed at fucking 12 p.m., yeah. Ain't that car under my name? Oh, it's coming with me. You need the real world. Yeah I'm gonna have to And don't go to your daddy You know Let me go to your Fucking daddy I will take the shit away I don't play that You ain't gonna be nothing Yeah You're clear about that You got two feet You got two hands You got a brain You better do some shit Yeah For sure I found like I started working When I was 14 I used to deliver Newspapers at the time And then I started Working at a grocery store I used to work at the back And stack the shelves pick up all the pallets, bring all the goods in, work back of house.

1:04:15And then I worked and sold jeans at some jeans shop. It's like I found working since I was 14 is what made me realize the value of work. And I've been working hard ever since. And if I didn't start working hard at 14, I feel like my parents didn't have anything to give me either. But I feel like that work ethic has to start early. It do have to start early. And that's why it's like sometimes when my parents, here comes my parents sometimes. My parents, they be getting on my nerves sometimes. Like, they be getting on my nerves sometimes because, like, my kids, they have school till 3 p.m., right?

1:04:47And after school, I don't care. And I don't want y 'all at home talking about, like, I'm a little tough and shit. I don't give a f***. This is what I work hard for. After school, my kids, four times a week, they have tutoring, reading, math, whatever the f***. They have tutoring mandatory in my house. Then, coach will have piano or she got gym class. wave. He got sports class and he still got to do the tutoring. And I don't, I'm sleepy. I don't want to hear that shit. I don't want to hear that shit. It's discipline. It got to be in you and you have to be better than me. I want you to be better than me.

1:05:25There's things that I cannot do that I want my kids to do. I don't know how to swim. I would love to swim. But the one time I went to a pool in Highbridge, there was a crazy fight that broke out. People was getting cut left to right. So I couldn't go swimming because I had no pool. If I have a pool, you're going to learn how to swim. You're going to take your swimming classes. I'm not really good with my feet. So you're going to take dance classes because if you want to, if you ever want to be a superstar, that shit going to be in you, then you are the answer. I want you to be smarter than me.

1:06:03Like I could read down, but my grandma's not that great. I want you to be not perfect because you cannot make your kids perfect and you don't want you to put pressure on your kids perfect. But I want you to be a hundred times better version than me. And I'm going to install that in you. And you're going to be mad and you're going to be crying, but you're going to appreciate that one day. Because I wish the things that I put on my kids that somebody put in me when I was younger. But they couldn't put that in me when I was younger because they couldn't afford it. And they couldn't really have time to be like, current, Buckleys, Buckleys, Buckleys, Hennessy, Hennessy, Hennessy, because they had to work.

1:06:44I have to work, but I'm going to give you classes for it. Grab me something, boy. Grab me something, girl. I'm playing with y 'all. I love it. I love it. Success is so much of who you are. It's who you breathe. It's what you do. What makes Cardi B happy? It's like little elements. Like my kids make me very happy. They're just so cute and funny. Like, it's just. And they say stupid stuff. Like, it's like. What do they say? Just things that is like, girl, what? It's funny. And it's funny seeing your kids grow and develop a little character. And I'm like, well, my baby, she be hitting her brother, her sister.

1:07:29It'd be so funny to me because it's like a baby. And she's. And they're just there taking it. So to me, little things like that is funny. and makes me happy. Romance, you know what I'm saying? When I'm in love and when we're having a good, you know, when we're having a good week, when you're showing that you care, that makes me happy. You know, actually, when I did saw a piece of an interview with Selena Gomez and you, when she said, I might have a 14-hour day and just one phone call and knowing somebody's there for you, it's a good feeling. That's a good feeling as well. What else is a good feeling for me?

1:08:13When I'm with my cousins, when I'm with my family and we were just cracking jokes and it just feels, it feels like, it feels like childhood. It makes me happy. Music make me very happy. I love music. When me and my team, we plan something, we put in so much work and it goes good, that makes me happy. That makes me happy, the team happy, and it motivates me and it motivates my team. And it's just like, we did it. So stuff like that, stuff like that makes me happy. Seeing all the work that you do and the time that you put, the process, the progress that you put, and it's like, it hits, it's successful.

1:08:57That makes you really happy. Like, it's like, thank God, thank you, Jesus. It makes me want to keep going. That's a good list. Yeah. That's a good list. I like it. It's all connection. It's all real. It's human. It's love. It's family. It's friends. It's intimacy. It is all the most beautiful things that we're all looking for. How do you see love now? How do you define love? effort it's not gonna always be perfect effort is like a lot to me it means a lot to me like calling me studying me personality as well I love me a joke I love me a he he he you know what I'm saying like if you if I come to you and I'm in tears when was it last week I saw I saw my little boyfriend I saw my boyfriend and I was in tears i was like it's so much pressure on me like it's so much pressure on me and just one little joke it made i like i'm in tears i kind of forgot the joke but it was so funny that's good and like snot coming out of my nose and it's like it made me laugh it just made me feel good and it's just like you know what things are gonna be okay yeah someone you can someone you can someone who can make you laugh cry and someone who can be there for you when you're crying real hard tears yeah I like that.

1:10:18And I like effort. I like what you said, study you. Yeah. That was really interesting. I've never heard that before, but I like it. The idea that if someone loves you, they study you. What does that mean to you? Tell me about that. I like that one a lot. Certain things are just the obvious. You know what I'm saying? Like certain things is like, are you really studying me or it's just the obvious? Like, for example, if you get me a purse, if you get me a Birkin or a Kelly, right? It makes me happy, of course. Like, who don't? Which woman don't a bag make them happy? but you know that that's what I like.

1:10:50So it's not like you study it. It's like you see it on my page. But like when you do things that you don't normally do, but you're doing it because you heard me talk about this. Like, like when you rent a castle and I know you don't want to be in this old ass castle that you literally got to go up and down the stairs just so you could pee and it's hot and there's no air conditioner. when you rent a castle out just so you could, just because you keep saying like, oh, I can't wait to have a day off in Paris so I could go to Versailles. I'm obsessed with castles. I'm obsessed with kings. I'm obsessed with queens.

1:11:31And it's like you listen to that and you like do your best to make it happen. It's like little things like that. Yeah. So you always leaving clues. It's not even like leaving clues. It's just like me talking about my - It's just you talking. It's me talking. It's like, it means stuff to me and stuff like that. When you get to know my personality too and get to study me, it's like, okay. Because I think I'm a hard person to figure out. Some people just see me and think certain things until you really get to figure me out and crack me. Because I might give you what I want to give you. You haven't cracked me yet.

1:12:15Will anyone ever crack you? Is it possible? Yeah. Little by little I open up and I show more of myself, my real self. Yeah. It's been seven years since you released new music and you've talked to me about releasing it, the hard work that went into it, the journey that got you there, why you waited. What finally made you feel confident that you had the right piece of work? What did you put into it? How did you know that now was the right time and the work was ready? Because it feels good. It feels good. It's like, I feel like people are missing this. It feels good. I feel good. I feel confident about it.

1:13:02I feel very confident about it, to be honest with you. So that's why I'm like, it's time. Yeah. Where did the name Am I the Drama, what inspired that? What's the subtext? What's the hidden meanings behind it? I don't want to keep saying when I was a little girl But it's funny Say it, I love knowing that you manifested this It's beautiful No, because it's like Ever since I was a little girl I always get in trouble And it don't really be me Like it's like If we're having a sleepover Me and my cousins I will be the one that the aunt is pulling their ears because it's like, yeah, I know this was your idea.

1:13:44But it wasn't even my idea. Sometimes when I used to go to school and I used to fight, my mom used to be like, did I tell you to avoid the fight? And it's like, mom, I swear to God, it's not me. It's these girls. They keep trying me. That's why I keep getting into fights. And when I was in school too, like it's like when I do get in trouble just because I'm being mischievous, it's like my friends' moms used to be like, it's because of her. It's because of Belcalis. I know it's her. And it's like, it don't really be me. It really don't be me. And that's just how it is with my life. Like, it's like, yo, I'm always in a scandal.

1:14:22I'm always in some bullshit. I'm always in some beef. And it's like, no matter how much I avoid it, it comes to me. Am I the f***ing drama? Is it me, Jesus? Is it me? no matter how much I avoid it no matter how much I think I'm in a bubble and it's like nope that bubble's always gonna pop something's always gonna find you girl but that's why I like am I the drama why am I always in some shit whether it's good or bad why am I always in some shit what's the answer am I that's the that's the answer is still the question am I? Am I? Only one person can answer that and that's Jesus. Because God, why the f*** am I always in some s***?

1:15:20When is the f***ing boat going to start smooth sailing? Why are we always in the ocean, in the middle of the ocean, in the roughest? We in the Pacific Ocean all the time. I love that. It's a great question. It's a great question It lines up for a great album It's such a great name It's such a great energy Even just hearing you talk about it It's such a great vibe What's the I mean How does it feel When that drama gets televised And then it's all over TikTok How does that feel? Nope Sometimes it's good Sometimes it's bad You always show up looking fabulous But I'm like How does that feel When like You know Well I try to come in here Having eyes like you but one of one of the contacts wasn't cooperating so I'm like I'm not taking this other contact off so that's why we have the yeah that's why we got three blue eyes on set I love it I love it I love it so how does it feel when your drama is televised like when that is televised how does that feel it just feels sometimes it feels okay because there's going to be people that's going to cheer for you and sometimes it's going to be very overwhelming like and very stressful, very annoying.

1:16:37And then it's like, unlike other celebrities, you know, a lot of people be wanting me to be like certain celebrities and stuff like that. Oh, really? Like who? Like they just want me to be like the type of person that just don't respond, that don't tell my feelings. And they be thinking that some of these celebrities, like they're perfect, which there are amazing, but don't think they're not going through what I'm going through. Don't think they don't feel like what the pressure that I go through. Don't think they're not saying, yeah, I hate you motherfuckers. Who the fuck you think you are to tell me that I'm this, this, who the fuck you think you're this and that?

1:17:23I'm just the person that tells it. So, it's a blessing and a curse because sometimes I feel like I speak for them and that's why when a lot of celebrities see me, they be like, yo, you be saying what I want to say. That's cool. But then sometimes it's like a curse because sometimes people be like, it's like, oh, you're the only one that do that. You're the only one that do that. And it's like, well, I'll be the one that do that. I can't do it all the time though because then people are going to think I'm just crazy. But I'll be the one that do that. Y 'all need to leave f***ing people alone. Y 'all think because us celebrities, we make a little money and we make a little this.

1:17:59Like, it's like, bitch, I have feelings too, hoe. I ain't no chopped liver.

1:18:08So, maybe that's why I'm sometimes like the punching bags. And sometimes people be like, you need to stop doing that. You need to stop being this. You need to be more like them. And it's like, they feel the same way I feel too. They want to tell these people, f*** you. You ain't your mom. And your dad. And your whole bloodline. How the fuck are you talking on me? Fuck you. Trust me. They want to say that. They want to say that. Yeah, I think everyone does. Yeah. But I'll be the one to say it. But that's because sometimes it do feel good to say it. Fuck you.

1:18:46Bitch, fuck you. I'll be the one. Yeah. Not all the time, but I'll be the one. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that from all the clips that I've seen. Like, you're always yourself. Like, you're never not yourself. Wherever you are. The glam, the looks, the fashion, the wigs, everything that comes out of your mouth. It's like you're never filtering yourself, no matter the environment you're in. Trust me, I filter myself a lot. Oh, you do? Sometimes I feel like, who the f*** am I? Who the f*** have I become? Because I used to have no filter. Now it's just like, I'm like, all right. But still, f*** you though Where do you feel to yourself?

1:19:27If you ever do Where do you feel to yourself?

1:19:35This mouth I could be a piranha What are we today? A shark? No, today's No, today I'm a goldfish Okay, today you're a goldfish I said nothing bad today Today I'm a goldfish No, no, no I'm really nice today You have been wonderful. But it's like sometimes I be seeing people and I be like, I could get really nasty. Just all facts, I could get really nasty. But you hold back sometimes. But I hold back so much. I hold back so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much. I really, you know what? I really did change a lot. I don't know what changed me. Maybe the age. Maybe the kids. Maybe life.

1:20:18You softened up a bit. I've always been soft But I could really give it to you And I won't stop But I stopped Just for Is it the age? Is it the kids? Which one is it? All of them All of the above It's a combination Age really wising you Wising you and make you afraid Yeah Got more to lose I think that plays a big part when you're young and you're dreaming and you want all these things no one ever tells you the cost that it comes at yeah and how much it tests you and brings all sorts of other challenges into your life yeah yeah you you've talked about how money doesn't fix everything and success doesn't solve everything and and it almost feels like when you don't have those things you think it will yeah and then when you get it you realize oh wait there's all this other stuff that we haven't figured out yet

1:21:26this is lavar errington from two pros and a cup of joe toyota is moving forward a more sustainable future by giving you the freedom to choose from an incredible lineup of trucks now available in both gas and hybrid models, including the legendary Tacoma and powerful Tundra, both available with the iForce Max hybrid powertrain and backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. More choices, less compromise. Visit BuyAToyota.com for a great deal on an efficient Toyota today. Toyota, let's go places. Residents at Brightview Senior Living Communities enjoy enhanced possibilities, independence, and choice.

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1:23:24what is something that you're still trying to figure out learn solve in your own life what's what's the part of your life you like working on dreaming envisioning imagining to be better and different i mean life in general all of it all of it to be honest with you life just doesn't get, I wonder when life is going to start getting easier. Because life is just hard. No matter if you have money or not. You got problems when you're poor. You got problems when you're rich.

1:23:57You're just always just trying to figure it. Every single day, I feel like people is just trying to figure it out. Trying to figure themselves out. Trying to figure life out. And it just will never stop. It will never stop, I think. When would it stop? When you're 60? But even when you're 60 you're gonna start having other problems like back problems it's like another thing another problem that you got to figure out you know what i'm saying like it's like it's just will never stop yeah the older you get the more people you lose more kids you have the more things you have to worry about the more money you have the the more you have to learn about managing you have a partner or you don't have a partner you got to figure out how you if you want to how you want to deal with being alone when you have a partner is that how you got to figure out how to be their piece and everything and i really don't want people thinking either that is like just because you have money like is that you live the easy life everybody that they have money that are successful that are good how what they do if you notice a pattern they work their asses off think that beyonce got a boat in a mansion and this and that because she's just Beyonce?

1:25:10No, she work her ass off. She's one of the most hardest people ever. Why people cannot go to her level? Why people cannot this and that? Because they just she just have an insane work ethic. Insane time. And my partner, he wakes up every day at 5.30, 6 a.m. and leave work at 7 p.m. And then you got people that hate on him and it's like, well, why he's so good? Because he works hard. why am I here after seven years because I'm every day every day working every day what we doing next hello what y 'all doing wake up I got a certain plan I just I just thought of something I just had a dream of something we got to make it happen and working hard you could say working hard and it sounds like working hard but it's like it's hours and hours it's hours it's time it's body his brain.

1:26:01I mean, I'm exhausted. I'm really exhausted right now. Back hurt, butt hurt. I'm sleepy as shit. I got a headache on the right side of my head when I'm working. After this, I got to do a promo shoot and then I'm going to the studio and then tomorrow I got to do something else. Every single day. Every single day. Every single day. If you want it, you got to do it. No complaining, no crying and shit. In this conversation, you've talked about Jesus. You talked about the devil. Do you talk to God a lot? Do you pray? Every day. Every day? Mm-hmm. I feel like I have a very deep spiritual connection with God.

1:26:41And it's not even like about praying. It's like talking. Like even when I talk to God, I talk to him just like I'm talking to you. I be cursing. I love that. Crying. Because people be like, oh, cursing is bad. But it's like God knows who I am. God knows how I be. It's almost like I'm talking to a friend. And I really do believe in my weird mind, in my weird universe that I made, I have angels. I really do believe that God gave me angels. And I believe in them. I feel like God is here and I feel like you got your angels here, then you got your other religions here. I believe in God so much. It's not even funny.

1:27:27And, you know, some people might not believe in God, but it's like, don't try. Like, it's like, I'm not going to convince nobody to believe in what I believe in. But how do you expect me not to believe on the person that I've been praying to my whole life and gave me what I wanted? So that little girl was talking to God in that dream. Always, all the time. It's like the imaginary friend, the voice in your head that you think is your friend, that you think is your voice. that was just you talking to God the whole time. That was just you talking to God the whole time. I love him. I believe in him.

1:28:05I always tell this to somebody. It's like the most I could give you, the most powerful thing that I could give you is me praying on you. If I pray on you, for you, it's because I love you. It's the most powerful thing. And I do feel like when you pray together, miracles happen. I love him. I love you so much. Why do you love me so much? Why do you love me so much? Tell everybody, I'm like one of your favorite kids. Tell them. Jesus, Lord, tell these people. I'm one of your favorites. I love them. I love them. That's beautiful. Cardi, you've been so generous with your time, your energy, your heart.

1:28:49I really felt this surpassed every one of my expectations that I had of meeting you and getting to interview you. I knew there was so much spirit. I knew there was so much soul. I knew there was just this energy inside that I'm really grateful you let share today. And people get to know you a bit more deeply. We end every episode with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. So Cardi B, these are your final five. You know I talk a lot. I know. You can. You can. You think I'll get the answer with one word? I'm giving you permission. You can. Okay. All right.

1:29:25So question number one We ask these to every guest Who's been on the show What is the best advice You've ever heard or received? Well I'm going to go With one advice That I heard today No I didn't hear it today I heard it yesterday Ask the difficult questions The difficult questions Make the relationship stronger It could break it It could make it But you still have An understanding if you become that understanding then you might become stronger you said it better whoever said it, you said it better question number two what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? I think you've heard it a lot sometimes when somebody told me to wear a certain outfit or when somebody told me to drop a certain song you never know you could go from here to that question number three finish the sentence.

1:30:25One thing I'll never apologize for is. My mouth.

1:30:32Well, sometimes I'm apologizing for my mouth. Sometimes I might, maybe I'm a little too hard. I don't know. I apologize for my mouth sometimes, but not all the time. Question number four, what's something that you used to value that you don't value anymore? I have to have like the streets. I value it a lot and I don't. I value it because it made me and it gave me a certain mentality. But I wouldn't want to advise that to people that I love, people that I care, or to young kids, to young boys, to young girls. Because it don't always lead you to where you think it's going to lead you. It's very grimy Don't love you back Ever And fifth and final question We ask this to every guest Who's been on the show If you could create one law That everyone in the world Had to follow What would it be?

1:31:30If I was Kim Young-myo What law? I'm not sure I gotta come back to that Yeah, think about it Matter of fact If you hurt children You gotta get What's that thing When they clip you? castricize whatever it's called yeah you just gotta be clipped and if you're a woman they need to burn it oh wow if you hurt kids wow yeah that should be a mandatory thing all over the world wow cause kids are so precious they're so precious they so innocent well some of them some of them are kinda evil they're born with the devil inside you see documentaries some of them it's like you was born to die you was born to be a devil Jesus Jesus upon you child Cardi B everyone the album is called Am I the Drama I'm so excited for everyone to hear it love your energy love your spirit so grateful to have spent this time together thank you and all the best God bless and I hope that you continue to succeed and win at life and keep being the energy and force that you are so thank you so much thank you thank you if you love this episode you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

1:32:49My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that. This episode of On Purpose is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. I believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given, and Chase Sapphire Reserve has been my gateway to the world's most captivating destinations. When I use my Chase Sapphire Reserve card, I get eight times the points on all the purchases I make through Chase Travel and even access to one-of-a-kind experiences, experiences like music festivals and sporting events.

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1:34:20And a sense of clarity stayed long after the trip. With Delta, fly and live better. Explore the whole journey on Delta's YouTube channel. This is LeVar Arrington from Two Pros and a Cup of Joe. Toyota is moving forward a more sustainable future by giving you the freedom to choose from an incredible lineup of trucks. Now available in both gas and hybrid models, including the legendary Tacoma and powerful Tundra. Both available with the iForce Max Hybrid powertrain and backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. More choices, less compromise. Visit BuyAToyota.com for a great deal on an efficient Toyota today.

1:35:08Toyota, let's go places. This is an iHeart Podcast.