David Grutman: The Career Advice Everyone Gets Wrong (#1 Key to Opening Doors That Lead to Success)

19:22And you might as well start being a professional right now. And I think by being a professional, everything, it's part of your DNA. It's not like, oh, once I become successful, then I'm going to start acting like that. That's like craziness.

19:45Jay Shetty:Every day around 3 p.m., I notice it, that dip in energy where I start craving something a little sweet, a little comforting. And for a long time, I thought discipline meant ignoring it. But I've learned that when you give yourself something intentional, it actually helps you stay consistent with your wellness long term. That's why I've been really excited about Cachava's new coffee flavor. It has this smooth, rich taste made with premium decaffeinated Brazilian beans, so it feels like a treat, but without the jitters. What I love is that it's more than just a flavor. It's an all-in-one shake with clean, high-quality ingredients, no artificial flavors, no fillers.

20:21Jay Shetty:Just two scoops give you plant-based protein, fiber, greens, and more, supporting steady energy and healthy digestion throughout the day. It's a simple shift, but one that really adds up. Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves. Go to cachava.com and use the code PURPOSE for 15 % off your first order. That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com, code PURPOSE. Hey, it's me Jay, and I just wanted to share this one phone call I had with a friend. It was when I just made one of the biggest decisions in my career, and I was nervous about how it would be received. Then my friend called me out of the blue just to check in and hearing their voice, their encouragement, completely changed my perspective.

21:05Jay Shetty:That moment reminded me how powerful a simple connection can be. And did you know that 2026 will mark 150 years since the first phone call, March 10th, 1876. From that one call, it all grew. The first long distance lines, the first call across America, the first across the Atlantic, the first commercial cell service, even the first 911 system, AT &T has been connecting people in so many ways for 150 years. I can't help but wonder how many lives were changed, how many important conversations happened, even how many lives were saved, all because people could reach each other. 150 years of connecting.

21:44Jay Shetty:That's not just history, that's a reminder. When technology brings people together, we can do incredible things. Connecting changes everything. AT &T. I've been seeing a lot more EVs lately. Parked in driveways, passing on the road, friends making the switch. And they all say the same thing. These cars are simpler, fewer parts, fewer repairs, fewer headaches. That's what makes EVs worth considering. Less to break, less to fix. Even if you haven't made the move yet, it's hard to ignore the shift. They're more affordable, more available, and honestly, just makes sense for everyday life. The way forward is electric.

22:24Jay Shetty:Learn more at electricforall.org

22:38Jay Shetty:You hit the nail on the head with the idea of if you don't have a title yet or you're not an owner, if you truly want to make everyone else's night or add value, then you don't feel scared. You only feel scared when you're like, what can I get from them? What can I extract from the relationship? What are they going to do for me? and I think when you walk into a space, obviously the person you want to network with is just going to walk away because they get a million people who want to take from them. And I talk about this in my book, you know, at these dinner tables with like a celebrity or a power of business, if I didn't talk to everyone at the table, I wouldn't be here.

23:10Jay Shetty:Yeah. If you just focus on that one person, you're never going to succeed. And I guess you're right. I guess, you know, coming at it where I'm just here to make you have a great time. I'm not trying to extract anything out of it. Your confidence level is a little bit different. Yeah, I remember you reminding me, I went to an event a few years back and it was for a particular individual and I won't get into the details, but the point was everyone was there for this one person and that's why everyone was invited to the event. It was at a friend's home, it was private. Maybe there were 30 people there, but the person who it was for only spent time with who they believed were the top five most important people in the room and they ignored 25 people.

23:49Jay Shetty:Now, granted, visually, those five people were the most important people in the room, but you don't know who the other 25 people are. Right. You have no clue. And the other 25 of us, who were not the most important people in the room, kind of just walked away just thinking like, well, if you can't give your attention to 30 people, how are you going to take care of like, you know, 300 million people at one point? So, you know, it's a fascinating idea that I think people underestimate. And making the whole table feel special is so important. And by the way, I want to know everyone's story. And those relationships from back then, I still have today.

24:22And what people don't realize is, oh, it's just the manager. Oh, that's the agent. Oh, yeah, that agent controls 10, 20 great people that they're going to send your way or that publicist, whatever. And it's just like, but knowing that even like, you know, some of these people have their best friends with them their whole lives. And they try hearing the best friend stories is always like, wow.

24:40Jay Shetty:Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get better stories out of them. Way better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's to me, it's always about people. Yeah. What's a rule about people that you've learned that you think people don't understand, that most people don't, that most people miss? they go into it with some kind of, I don't know, agenda. I go, don't have an agenda. Just see what's going to be and what you can add value to, how you can help that person. Because by being a key holder of Miami, people are coming to spend a few days and they want to have a great time and they want to enjoy, but it's also, I want them to know how great my city is.

25:15Miami is the best city I feel in America and I want to show that to them. So I would take people to the art district, to this district or this cool little restaurant that's not mine, but it has this insane whatever. And I love hosting people at my house.

25:30Jay Shetty:Why is that important? Because I feel like the relationship when you're in someone's, in fact, I do all my meetings, Jay, at my house. Like I have a great office and there's a lot of people working. I'd much rather meet with you in my house than in an office setting. Yeah. I'm the same. That's why you're here right now. By the way, not a bad house. No, but it's the same feeling of like, I love hearing that from you because, so when I first, when I moved to the States, I lived in New York. I was there for two years. And then we moved to LA eight years ago and we've been in the US for 10 years now.

26:00Jay Shetty:So the two years in New York, I found that I spend a lot of time meeting people in restaurants, bars, things like that. As soon as I came to LA, I met someone at their house and I was at their house for like eight hours. And I was like, gosh, I would never have spent eight hours. And it wasn't like the people were better. It was that spending time with someone in their home. felt so much more intimate and deep than spending time in a bar for one and a half hours. I couldn't agree more. When you spend time with people in your house, it's kind of like why they built the White House. You want them to feel like, and I feel like it's an edge too.

26:33Listen, once you have a personal relationship with somebody, it's much harder to say no to that person. Do you try and make your places feel like home? I really care about people's hospitality from the moment they walk into my house to the end. I mean, we have great food, great drink. I'm always caring about what can I get you to drink? What can we get you to eat? And knowing what their likes are too before they even get there.

26:54Jay Shetty:Do you think that you think about a good restaurant and a good club as also feeling like a home or it's a different mindset? Different mindset. I think - How would you, yeah? I think your home is your home. But restaurant, people want to be serviced, but I don't want them to feel like they're over-serviced where the person's on top of them, they can't have their own experience. I think that's where some people think great hospitality, great service is just every second. I think people want seamless service and they want to create their own experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can agree with you more.

27:23Jay Shetty:You've partnered with so many massive names. I mean, I know you launched with Bad Bunny. Sure. And that's incredible. Talk to me about how that partnership came around. Again, long ball, long ball. I just love like long-term relationships. and you know uh we started a reggaeton night at live when it was just starting to bubble and this guy bad bunny had so much engagement back then it was to me i never the only other time i saw that is when abel first came on the scene and we started doing stuff with the weekend yeah yeah the engagement that people this is before he was like people were like 3 000 people would show up for this guy the weekend at the club and same thing with bad bunny when we first i'm like there's a guy named Bad Bunny and they became friendly with them Drake comes down to film his to record his album Scorpios I'm having dinner with him and he goes who's the number one reggaeton guy I'm like dude this guy Bad Bunny he goes I DM him he doesn't respond to me I'm like you sure you have the right Instagram for this guy I get his manager on the phone manager puts him on the phone with Drake they he says listen either you're gonna come here or I'm gonna go there Bunny comes the next day with the whole team.

28:32They don't believe it's real. Everyone has promised him Drake. I'm like, listen, man, I'm not, I'm just trying to help. That's it. They come to my house waiting for Drake to call. Drake's manager calls and says, listen, he's not going to see him tonight. He has to go do something else. I go, what are you talking about? They're all in my backyard, man. They don't believe it's real. They might kill me. He goes, no, tomorrow. They get up, they leave. a couple minutes later the other manager calls the day-to-day says listen drake wants to have dinner with him at komodo that night they all come they go to komodo lounge and they record mia

29:06Jay Shetty:no so mia yeah of course yeah it's a great song drake's album comes out no me on the album i go oh no they did the song he's not good they go don't worry david bunny's gonna release it not Drake and they want to release in the summer. They released the songs, a huge hit. They do the music video in Miami when he's Drake supposed to do like three days in Miami. It rains. Drake gets sick, cancels his show. Anyway, the song, they get the video. The song comes out. It's huge. Later on, Drake has to make up those shows, comes back to Miami. I go, why is bad bunny not coming out with you at one of your shows?

29:43He goes, he should come out again. I get the bunny and Noah saw his manager on the phone and I go, Noah, listen, Drake wants Bunny to come out with him at his show. I think he should do it. He goes, no, no, no. His manager already told me he doesn't want him to come out. He doesn't want to sing Spanish or anything like that. Drake, here you go. Can you guys come? They just landed in Vegas for the Grammys. They get back on the plane and come and go out with him on his show. So fast forward, Live Nation, Michael Rapinoe, who runs, is the greatest human being partner ever, goes, I want to make Latin like I did with hip hop, with Roc Nation.

30:18I want to do that with Latin. I go, well, let's start with the top. So he does this deal with Noah Sade at JV about bringing Latin acts to Live Nation. Bunny moves over and does a stadium tour with Live Nation. And he puts in his contract. He says, okay, one other condition for me to do this is David Grutman does a restaurant with me. So Michael Rapinoe calls me and I go, come on. Are you like... Because you were just hooking them up anyway. Yeah, I'm like, I'm so happy. I'm so happy that you guys are... this is great. He goes, no, no, no. I need you to do this restaurant. I go, okay. Meanwhile, it's been the greatest experience in relationship between also.

30:54So there's Bad Bunny, but there's a guy named Noah Saad, who's his manager, who I just, I love them both so much. And it's such a

31:00Jay Shetty:family. And talk to me about the timeframe between you connecting him to Drake and that happening to the restaurant. Probably like three years. Yeah. Just, but constantly. Yeah. And that's the thing. You were setting them up when there was no benefit. You're not, you're not in on the deal. you're not making music. I'm not an executive producer of the song. In fact, nobody even really knows. I don't get a shout out in the song. I'm like, can I get a shout out? Like nothing. And in fact, the music video was, I didn't even get to be in the music video, but it's okay because we're long game. We're long game here.

31:32Fast forward. And now just again with the Casita at the Super Bowl, which was incredible.

31:38Jay Shetty:Yeah, that was awesome. And just so happy to see him win, man. Yeah, it was great to see you out there. I was like, this is amazing. It's awesome, man. No, but I'm glad that the lesson is the long game because I think people underestimate the power of that. I think there's such a transactional quick win mentality now, believing that you've got to, you know, and also even pretending for amounts of time to see what happens. Even that is not long game. Long game is just building loyal relationships. By the way, that's it. And you know, people say to me, oh, I want to go network. I'm like, what the f*** is networking, man?

32:11I go, networking is the worst thing. I want to go have authentic relationships with people. And you're right. I see it today all the time. They just want to like, what's the quick hit to do? And I'm just like, man, take the journey with people. Go the distance. You never know. I never thought in a million years I'd be a cameo in a Super Bowl or I have a restaurant or that the guy that just partnered with me is trying to get Latin I'm able to. Now Live Nation's the biggest in Latin.

32:36Jay Shetty:Yeah. And I'm so happy. It's like. Yeah. And that was all just stuff that was fun. It was just. By the way, And that's what I've also learned from Michael Rapinoe is, you know, listen, let's just go about it and things might come out. And by the way, sometimes nothing comes about it and that's okay too, but you have these stories with people. Yeah, totally, totally. Like it doesn't always have to be about a monetary situation. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't agree with you more. I remember when I was just starting out my career and I became friendly with this guy who was around, at that time, he was like 70 years old.

33:11Jay Shetty:he was a jewelry designer and his dad used to play harmonica for frank sinatra wow so he had loads of great stories of being in the car with his dad and frank and wow they would travel across the world and you know be in the back of a you know a bus tour bus i guess and then he'd have all these stories he designed jewelry and the jewelry would end up on the front cover of like vogue and victoria's secrets and all that kind of stuff that was his career and he'd have all these stones he'd find from africa and he'd tell me stories about where he just went in africa and found this like, and I would watch him and I was probably like 26 at that time.

33:45Jay Shetty:And this guy's like 70. And I would just be like, God, this guy's got so many great stories. And I used to just sit there and watch him and go like, God, when I get older, I hope I have lots of stories. Cause I thought what a cool life to live. Yeah. I mean, I mean, and I love that my kids now get to have these relationships, these people to the next generation. Like my kids have no idea that this is so-and-so and this is so-and-so but they're getting to meet some of the most amazing people that's changed our world and and you know whether it's not just celebrities also business and it's and from and my wife too like to for us to be around these kind of people is is great and yeah i love it what was what was your childhood like difficult i was my parents got divorced when i was six uh i was the only child left alone a lot by my mom when she'd be in real estate and stuff like that.

34:36And my father instantly remarried. She had a kid from another marriage. So for me, I'm like, my dad moved on with a new family. I'm here left alone by myself a lot. I grew up with like silver spoons and family ties and different strokes and facts of life and Charles in charge. That's kind of like how I was raised. So it's a little weird. And then when I got older, I was kind of like the stovetop kid. I'm like, what time are you having dinner? What time are you having dinner? But I grew up in Naples, Florida. It's a really beautiful space to place to grow up. A lot of retired people. So a lot of my friends, you know, they're dead.

35:08They were 90 years old back then. No, I'm joking. But also, no, but you know what is by being an only child, you're able to have conversations with adults because you're around more adults than you are children. And I kind of love that about my childhood. It's one thing I will never like, I love being able to learn from just being able to be in the room with older people at the time.

35:30Jay Shetty:Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more. I think it's a huge one. It's probably the hardest thing right now where people are spending less and less time with people older? Because my daughters are 18 months apart, so they have each other and they're always around each other. But I was the guy that was the kid that was in the room with like all the adults and hearing the adult stories and stuff like that. And it still fascinates me today. What are the lessons that you learned from your parents that you're trying to pass on to your kids? And what are the lessons you're trying to avoid? So I know because I was, I probably blame my mom and my father, but I'm not as connected with my family as I want my kids to be connected with me.

36:07And I like make sure I have that connection with them. And I want them to grow up in a loving, loving family. Not that my mom didn't love me. I just never felt super connected because I saw her late and I didn't understand why these other kids were able to have these families and all that. And I probably blamed somebody for it.

36:25Jay Shetty:Yeah. Yeah. And that, when did you feel like you stopped blaming or you stopped connecting to that? I don't know if I ever, I just feel like I never want my girls to grow up like that. I want them to always feel love and a presence around them all the time. And again, my mom loves me, but I didn't get to see her much, but I want my girls to always see me. We take them with us everywhere. How do you manage that with the crazy lifestyle you have? and we manage it we make it a priority and like that's part of our life like that's kind of the deal if you have us our kids are coming too yeah i mean there's things for everything but you know taking my kids to saudi arabia taking my kids to israel taking my kids to japan it's like it's the coolest thing in the world and seeing them how excited they get yeah how do you how have you pivoted because i feel like you're also brilliant at knowing when to start something new so last few years, I knew investing in brands and working with young entrepreneurs, young founders that I could make a big difference in has been really the next stage of my life.

37:30And I love it. And how can I take those brands and put them into my ecosystem and grow them then? Give me an example, El. Skinny Dipped, it's probably the best, better for you. My wife loves them. They're the greatest a skinny dip. So I have a skinny dip dessert at some of my restaurants, uh, daring plant-based chicken. I would have, you know, at my places I do collaboration dishes with fly by Jing or all these different things. And I think that's one way of adding value. I've done Googles, mac and cheese help, you know, better for you, mac and cheese balls and all sorts of stuff. And brunches all cater to these brands or events just cater to these brands to grow them.

38:10and I talk about them a lot and we rebrand and we do collaborations and other brands I invest in like Symbiotic and Coconut Cult I had them do collaborations all different stuff but by being this great connector for these brands and young founders it's been the most rewarding thing I've ever done

38:27Jay Shetty:That seems to be like with all these stories you're telling me there's a pattern in who you are which is like this super connector Correct Right? It feels like that's your superpower I love that I'm able to get anyone that I really need to get on the phone on the phone and put them with somebody else and they know that there's no, I just want to help. And that's why people take the call and do whatever they want. And they do great things together. And I'm not the guy where, oh, can I get 10 %? Like, I hate those people. But it pays off 10 times over. So like, don't be so hungry for that one. If your friends do a great deal, be so happy, cheer your friends on.

39:03I'm like everyone's biggest cheerleader.

39:05Jay Shetty:Yeah. It's fascinating, isn't it? Like we've, so many people are living in that scarcity mindset of being scared that if I connect you to you and then you guys do business together. I'm going to get cut out. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. You know what? Maybe you do get cut out, but that's okay because your friends are growing and you're going to keep going. Like that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. If that's how you live your life and be a gatekeeper and say, you know what? I'm going to text that person. And then I want to be the person that like, don't do it without me. Make sure I'm CC'd or I'm part of who could live like that, man.

39:37like I'm so happy to, and if they want me to come in the deal, I'll come in the deal. If they don't, no problem. But there'll be a deal later on that I might need that person for, and they're going to remember that I connected them back then.

39:48Jay Shetty:Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a huge lesson as well. The coupon system is the best system. Would you explain that? Listen, when somebody does something special for me, I'm like, you have a coupon. And anytime you ask something of me, I'm going to, of course, be there. It's an untold situation that I really live my life by. Yeah. I have a lot of coupons out there and a lot of people have done so much for me that I owe people so much that they could ask me to do anything and I'm doing it. And I think that's the way you live your life. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I love that. And it's like, it's almost like a constant state of gratitude and a constant state of giving.

40:24That's at the end of the key is the gratitude, right? When you give someone, let's say a coupon, that's just a way of gratitude, let's say. gratitude really changes everything. The way you look at things, the way you feel, the way you, you, you come across.

40:37Jay Shetty:Yeah. I feel that way. I feel like people are always like, why do you live here? I'm like, this city has given me so much, like so much. Oh no, you living here is crazy. You should be in Miami. But now I know who to call. Yeah, of course. Yeah. But no, it's, it's, my point is that you can either look at it as like, oh, look what I've done. Look what's happened. And it's like, no, but look, look what people have done for me. Right. Like, look what, look what people have done. I know people love to say like, I'm a great connector, but people have done so much for me my whole life. And they continue to do so much for me.

41:04Like, look, Kim did the forward. She didn't have to do that. Johnny did the cover again. The fact that people still do great things for me, it's great. And I'm so grateful and appreciative.

41:16Jay Shetty:I feel like you're at a place in your life where you're passing it on, hence the book. Like you're passing on these lessons. You're telling these stories. You're sharing the advice. I remember that one of the first times I came across you was when you were doing this course at the university in Florida. Right, FIU. FIU. And I'd see these clips coming up, and I was like, who's this guy literally taking everyone to a group of students? You're giving these students the best experience. Talk to me a bit about that, because I think that feels like what it's led into the book, right? By the way, the book is based on that.

41:45So five years ago, FIU came to me, and they said, hey, listen, we're the biggest hospitality school that nobody knows about. And I'm like, would you let me teach a course? And they go, what do you mean? Come and just tell your story. I go, no, no, I want to teach a course. I want them to get credits for it. They go, okay, it's going to be, you're going to have to present us, you know, a syllabus. I go, okay, let's go. And they're like, but I'm like, we got to compress it. So five classes once a week for five weeks, three hours of class. And can I tell you what's so easy that you go through your day and you do without even thinking about it, to break it down with such a process.

42:21Like, how do you break down relationships? How do you break down all the points that they don't teach you in school that you do so easily in your life? It was such a great process for me to go through that, just to break it down. And I was so grateful to be able to teach it. And of course, some of the biggest people in the world would come and surprise them each week. But to see the look on their faces, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but by far the most rewarding.

42:48Jay Shetty:What was your favorite thing to teach there? What resonated the most with the students? Well, the fact that they know who I am and where I'm at. And I started off bartending at a restaurant in the mall up the street from the school. So if I could go from a bartender at a restaurant in the mall, one block from the school, a couple blocks from the school, then think what you could do. And that for me was always the perfect setting for what I did. And the fact that they were so special that I cared about them so much, knowing how busy I was, that I took the time to spend on making this class great for them.

43:23Hopefully they knew how special they were in life.

43:25Jay Shetty:I mean, I don't think anyone, you literally, I think you took Hayley, Kendall, Rick Ross, Bad Bunny. David Beckham, Black Coffee, Ben Gorham, Alex Earl, John Summit. But like, I mean, the greatest people ever, Drake, on the day he's releasing his album. I was like, wow. But anyway, forget about those people. It was just great. And they would, I'd be like, okay, guys, we're going to end class a little early. and then Bad Bunny would walk in and they would be like, what the fuck? Yeah. But they always had a lesson to teach. It wasn't just, hey, there's some celebrity showing up. Talk about your brand.

44:02Talk about building relationships. Talk about, everyone thinks everyone was an overnight success too. That's the most important thing. Everyone thinks these people just did it in one day. I'm like, no, no, no. Tell them how long you were in the trenches for. Because that's where I think people, they go, I'm going to graduate school. I'm going to open my own nightclub. I'm going to open my own restaurant. I'm like, no, no, no. I was a bartender. I was a server. I was a manager. I go, and that part of the journey was where the magic was. That's what I loved.

44:31Jay Shetty:Yeah. Yeah. That's what also makes the climb special is all those lessons you gained on the front lines that then helped you build the real thing.

44:51Jay Shetty:I've been seeing a lot more EVs lately. Parked in driveways, passing on the road, friends making the switch. And they all say the same thing. These cars are simpler, fewer parts, fewer repairs, fewer headaches. That's what makes EVs worth considering. Less to break, less to fix. Even if you haven't made the move yet, it's hard to ignore the shift. They're more affordable, more available, and honestly, just make sense for everyday life. The way forward is electric. Learn more at electricforall.org. When we talk about well-being, we often focus on what we eat, how we move, or how we manage our thoughts.

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47:00Jay Shetty:one of my favorite lessons in the book you talk about this you say check your ego before your ego will check you right and i wanted to know how your relationship with egos changed because at the start you were saying hey there was a bit of ego and like i wanted to do the big thing talk to me about when you realized you had to check your ego well the first time i ever had to check my ego was my friend, Wayne Boyce, that has reserve paddle. I had open live and it was on fire, the craziest thing ever. And he said to me, he goes, listen, man, you're not saving lives. You're not a doctor. You're not doing heart surgery.

47:32So why don't you just take, and it resonated with me so hard when somebody that you care about knows you, knows you for who you are and says, you're, you're kind of like your ego's getting a little bit big. Why don't you bring it down a little bit? That's when I knew that it wasn't endearing to people for me to be like this super cool club guy. And that's why I've always just stayed who I am because I've had great friends that like when there's times when you start to drink your own Kool-Aid, as you know, as you get bigger and bigger and bigger, and that's when you're also afraid to ask for help and you think you know it all and that you're untouchable.

48:05To be honest, I've had more problems with success than I've had with failure. Failure, okay, we move on, you forget about it the next day. But as success gets your ego so big, that's where the issues happen. Talk to me about that. Cause I agree. That's where you think you're untouchable and you think, you know, I think you have to stay in control. And I think by keeping your ego down during those times is when you could grow the most.

48:33Jay Shetty:How do you do that? How have you, because you are winning, you are on top, you're working with the best. How have you in those moments? I have an amazing wife, Isabel. Let's start there, right? So she's just like, too, she's like, ah. Of course she wants me to win. She wants us to win. And she's fighting just as hard as I am. But also, you know, she keeps me in line, too. But also at this point in my life, I know it's just way more powerful to be not so cocky, not so this, not so, just be so grateful. And that's, again, where gratitude comes into place, too, right? Yeah. Yeah, for sure, for sure.

49:06Because if you're grateful and you're serving others, then your head's not going to get that big.

49:10Jay Shetty:Yeah. No, but I think you raised a good point. In our case, a good wife is a game changer. My wife has checked my ego plenty of times. And she does it. When my wife does it, she goes right for the jugular, too. My wife does not play games. Same. I thought you said you loved me. Yeah, yeah. My wife is so direct and she like cuts it right there and she does not. And it's the best thing ever because I love her and I know she loves me. So I can trust it's coming from a good place. You know what's so special is to have someone that you never have to question whether they have your back or not. Yeah.

49:49And having a wife like my wife Isabella, what she's given me. I know that I never have to worry about if she doesn't have my best interest in mind. Always. I never have to worry about it. And for me, just the confident level that that's given me has given me the strength to get through anything. It's one thing that I think people kind of miss, just trying to be out there and don't care about really love and relationships. And it's so important.

50:17Jay Shetty:How have you allowed yourself as a man to allow for that? Because I feel like a lot of men can kind of get carried away and just feel like, yeah, I'm the shit. And, you know, you just move on and then, you know. But going through that kind of stuff when I was younger has put me in a better place to be married. That's for sure. And I love that my wife is an entrepreneur and that she's out and I could see her fighting. And I love that my daughters see their mother get up every day, go to her store, build her brands, invest, do all this. She could have easily gone for lunches and done nothing. Instead, is a Grutman jewelry.

50:51She's killing it. And she doesn't stop. and I think it's such a motivation for my daughters to see that not just me but the family do it yeah

50:59Jay Shetty:yeah for sure I think it's a set in a wonderful example for them and and me she inspires me yeah this girl's like dealing with it all I'm like wow okay let's go yeah and what does it look like when you kind of knew who you were for a long time right it sounds like you know who you are and that's why I'm okay being a plus one because I know I'm not really ever a plus one like I wanted to shine, but I know like, come on. Like I'm so happy that she's doing this. And I'm like, I'm like her guests now at places. That's kind of the coolest thing ever. What's, what's something in hospitality that you've seen that blew your mind?

51:38Jay Shetty:Something that you went, wow, that was impressive. Thomas Keller, of course, at surf club, even it's just the way his butter comes out for the bread. I'm always so blown away by even these, the classic guys that really set the tone for what I do today and their mentality on how they do things. Becoming friendly with Thomas Keller has been one of the greatest gifts ever because he really gets the guest experience from the second you walk in to the second you leave. And what he does is the oysters and pearls, he gives you right away because, and it's something that my friend Jeff at Major Food Group does with Carbone.

52:12They bring the garlic bread and all the little fun pickings. Once you get, as soon as they sit down and you get them there, you've won them over and that winning them over moment, the rest doesn't even really matter. As long as you win them over right away, it's watching great guys like that really win.

52:28Jay Shetty:Yeah. It's hard as well. Like you feel like it's not easy. I mean, I'm constantly trying to evolve the menus and see what the, you know, trying to set new trends and sometimes it works and sometimes it just doesn't. What have you noticed about a good idea? Like how do you, when do you, do you feel like the The only way to know is obviously to test it or do you kind of feel it in your bones and you go, no. I feel my bones. And listen, there's things where I think, okay, this is the greatest idea ever, but then the data just shows otherwise. Like I had a Gretman pastrami egg roll at Komodo and I'm like, this is the greatest egg roll of all time.

53:00It's a Gretman pastrami egg roll. My team comes to me and they go, we need to go over something with you. And I go, what's that? They go, the Gretman pastrami egg roll is the second least selling item on our menu. I go, second least. I go, there's a conspiracy. are you sure they go yeah it's heavy the servers don't like to sell i go but it's my namesake how do they not want to sell it the the guests i go what's the number one selling item they go the lobster dynamite i go you mean the grutman lobster dynamite so let's just change it right there uh but you know i think it's the greatest idea it doesn't work and now learning with chefs that i know that i don't know it all is food i let the chefs put items on the menu and we let it we let the data speak.

53:42If it sells, it sells. If it doesn't, but that's taken great chefs to come and push me into that kind of role. And to let other people, and it's been a great way for chefs to feel that they have ownership in your place.

53:55Jay Shetty:Yeah, for sure. How do you, how do you decide who to bet on as people? Now that you're working with people and brands and you bring in chefs, you bring in, you work with so many people across the board. What do you look for? I look for artists. I know I'm not the most creative guy in the room, but I love having creative people around me. It's what feeds my energy, like to be able to help enable an artist to do something special. And I'm part of that. It's a great reward for me. And what do you look for in them, in their creativity that... Come on, Jay. We know when somebody's special, when somebody's not.

54:27Jay Shetty:I want to know your formula because I'm like... It's if they move me, if they make me emotional, if I feel connected to what their thing is. And let me tell you, I'm one of those guys, the last conversation I had with somebody, It's kind of like, I'm like blown away by people. So if you could move me and I see something special in you and I'm your friend, I'm going to push you so hard. But if you're bad to me, you know. Well, what happens then? No, no. I'm like the best friend, but the worst enemy. Yeah? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't know you had that side. Oh yeah, there's that side.

55:02Jay Shetty:Okay. What does that look like? No, I'm joking. No, it's fine. We want everybody, you know, it's like a monk. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, yeah. And that side, yeah. That, I mean, yeah, the monks are equal to all for sure. Right. But yeah, you, you, you act how you want to act according to your values, no matter how anyone acts. Correct. Exactly. According to their values. Exactly. Even if their values are lower. You always want to be, listen, when people come in there, like, I always try to be above that. Like when people from other restaurants and stuff come to my place, I go overboard to treat them well.

55:34I love when someone's in my nightclub from another nightclub. What a compliment. where people are like, oh, they're from another nightclub, get them out. I'm like, are you crazy? What a compliment to have these people here where you take extra care of them.

55:45Jay Shetty:Yeah, yeah. And I think it also changes, it makes you look stronger than weaker. Yeah, yeah. And that's where people miss out too. Who's moved you the most recently, creatively, artistically, someone that has had that impact on you where you've bet on them? So there's a guy named Ben Gorham, and he's the founder of Byredo, which is a fragrance company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was homeless when he started the brand. And he sold for a big number a couple of years ago. He moved from Sweden to Miami. And he's just so thoughtful on what he's doing for people. He's helped many people with fragrance and stuff like that now, just as their friend.

56:23And he's really taught me to take that moment to really figure out what's the story, what's the meaning behind things. Instead of just going, going, going, going, be really thoughtful with what you're doing. And I think that's been really impressive. Also, yeah, just my girls have kind of impressed me a lot too on how they see the world and how they're evolving. It makes me like inspired again to see the world differently.

56:50Jay Shetty:What do they see that you don't see? They see so much good and so much. They get so excited about just the dolphin or the bird or their rabbit or, you know, and the fact that they're so content just being with that. And I just want to learn that kind of practice again, just being so happy and content and my wife by far has just been blowing me away she's very special what's the biggest impact she's had on you for her to realize why i get so because you know when she launches her brand the website goes down this happens at work this you know and to see how she's handling those same frustrations but she found her way like she never thought she was going to be a jewelry designer she started off making her clothes and then she met some great jewelry designers and she started her own brand and she found what her passion was and it wasn't what she what she thought she was going to do and i love when it just hits you and then you take it a lot of people it hits them but they don't take advantage of it she took it she took it and ran with it yeah yeah yeah and i love what you're saying about the presence with your seeing the presence of your girls like that being something you want to get is that something you feel like you're getting to at this point yeah listen i feel like my childhood was a little bit different than everyone else's.

58:02I didn't think I was able to be a kid because I was around the time. And just to see like the feeling they get with the simplest thing, it doesn't have to be the most expensive or elaborate thing. Just they like, and just by being, spending time with me to them is just so precious. I'm like, they make me feel like the biggest man in the world.

58:21Jay Shetty:That's beautiful, man. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. At this point in your career, when you could be doing anything, you're going into production and TV. Yeah. And I know you're, because I know you're also working with Full World too, who I'm working with. I'm good friends with Ben Winston. Ben Winston is great. By the way, how much do we love Ben Winston? Let's do that. Ben, we love you. He's going to love this one. I know you love the shout out, so I'm giving you the big shout out, Ben Winston. I had to convince this guy for years. I'm like, Alex Earl. I'm telling you, Ben. How did you have to convince him about Alex Earl?

58:51Jay Shetty:He had no idea who he was. Ben, we need to talk. But think, Like, you know, listen, but Ben trusted in me finally. And Alex trusted. And by putting them all together and the father and the mother and the stepmother. And it's just, I come across so many interesting characters in my life. Their story has to be told. It's why I'm doing Black Coffee's documentary right now. Because Black Coffee has a story that crosses the ocean. And I want to keep doing that. And I think by being able to give people a platform to tell their stories, it's going to be very powerful for me. The reason I love that is because I'm sure there's people going, well, Dave, what do you know about film and TV?

59:31I'm a producer.

59:32Jay Shetty:Yeah. I mean, listen. No, but I love that. And listen, I'll learn as I go, but also it's fixing issues and problems, right? And that's what I do for a living. Most of producing is like, uh-oh, we have an issue. Can you get that handled? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, you produce Bad Bunny and Drake. But no, no, the reason why I like it, I mean, we're in the same place. We just launched our production company a month back. And it was the same thing. Like I've sat for years in meetings where people are like, Jay, well, you get podcasting and you get social media and you know, what does this mean? And you know, now we have three projects on Netflix and it's like, everyone's excited.

1:00:07Jay Shetty:But it's the same thing of like, everyone's always going to try to put you in your box and put you in your lane. I tried pushing, you know, pitching so many shows with me on, with me not on, the whole thing. And they didn't fly. And this one, you know, obviously having Ben as a partner and Alex Earle is like the hottest thing in the world right now helps. and again, everyone thinks it happens overnight and they don't know what to think. They're like, this hospitality guy is doing a show. Thank God that this is the one. Now everyone's coming out of the woodwork and saying, Dave, can we do a show together?

1:00:39Great, let's do it.

1:00:40Jay Shetty:I think it'll be a home run, man. I'm really excited. I think, listen, Alex is amazing, but the rest of the family is on another level. And I think that's what people don't realize is that they think they're just going to get Alex, but there's a whole cast of characters of the family that you're going to love. Yeah. Yeah. Dave, I'm so glad you wrote this book because I feel like it's going to help a lot of people realize just how you can start early, start humbly, start small, go on to build something pretty incredible and still do it with the joy. You look like you're having fun. Oh, no, it's the best thing of my life.

1:01:12Jay Shetty:When I'm watching you and when I've seen you about whenever we've been at the same places, I'm like, you always look like you're having fun. And I think that says a lot about someone. And even when Kim says you have the most contagious smile in the world, I'm like, you know, that's a lot. I still can't believe I'm here, Jay, to be honest with you. I'm a kid from Naples, Florida. Like, you know, I'm just so grateful to be here, man. What did you think you would be when you were a kid? I thought I was, I don't know, like a fireman or whatever. That being said, once I got older, I'm like, am I going to do title insurance?

1:01:40What am I going to do? Like what? And the fact that this is what I get to do with my life and be here with you. It's, it's amazing. Thank you for having me.

1:01:47Jay Shetty:No, thank you. We, we end every episode with a final five. You got to answer these questions in one sentence maximum. Uh, we ask these to every guest. Oh, I know. So, so you're already prepared. All right. You came prepared. So, so Dave, these are your final five. Uh, the first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Take it personal. Of course. Good answer. Second question. What is the worst advice you ever heard or received? you should definitely take that space oh someone promoting the wrong yeah yeah that's funny that's funny do you have an example of that yeah i opened a diner in an old firestone gas station i failed so badly after three months i had to close it after three months how many how many things have you had to close down two restaurants and the nightclub the nightclub the city closed me down meaning there was high-end buildings that came around the nightclub but uh it's definitely not going to be my last restaurant I close.

1:02:42I'm going to have to close others at some point in my life. And I'm going to have to open new ones as well.

1:02:46Jay Shetty:When something closes down or fails, how do you go back out there and raise more money and raise energy? How does that work? Because thank God you have the emotional bank account. You've done some successful things and you know, not everything's going to work, Jay. And I think people kind of - So people don't write you off. You don't feel like the world writes you off when you've had - No, but you try to make good on it too, like later on in life as well. But But no, people want to still come to my experiences. Yeah. No, because I feel people scared about that. Not just you, but I feel like a lot of people are scared of having a big failure.

1:03:17Jay Shetty:By the way, it's the scariest thing in the world. But guess what you realize? It's scarier to you than the rest of the people out there. No one's thinking about it. Okay. They think about it for a day or two. That's fair. And then you open another hit and guess what? They don't even remember what that's. Yeah. I always say that to people. If you think of your favorite actor or actress in movies, they've all made bad movies. and you've forgotten about them because they made the iconic ones that you remember. Same with music too. Your favorite musicians have made so many bad songs. And I promise you, your favorite restaurateurs have had some of the dumbest restaurants you could ever imagine.

1:03:48Jay Shetty:Yeah, and I'd probably put out some bad content. It's the way it is. It's the way it is. And it's good to remember that because otherwise you get in your head and you keep thinking, oh, I don't want to put that out because if I go out bad in a big way, then it won't work out. You got to try. Yeah, you got to try. If someone wanted to change their life in the next 12 months, what skills should they invest in? In themselves. I think investing in yourself and growing you as an individual, like don't be afraid to grow as an individual. Go seek out as much guidance and beliefs and ethics and stuff like that just to grow your own self because the stronger I think I am emotionally and confident is the better I am out there.

1:04:29Question number four, what makes the best business partner? Someone that's going to add so much value that it's going to pour over the glass. Someone who's really willing to go there. You've got to be in the trenches.

1:04:43Jay Shetty:Yeah. We wanted to try this with you. I don't think you've ever, have you ever seen this meme where you get$50 to spend? Have you seen this before? No. Okay. So you get$50 to spend. As you can see, everything costs something different. I'm going to hand this to you in a second. And you've got to choose. If you could only spend$50, what would you spend it on from these four options? They've all got a different dollar amount. If you were starting a new business today. mentor who's built three successful businesses, an amazing launch party. You can only spend$50. This is$1? Yeah. Startup capital, mentor who's built, a mentor who's built three successful businesses.

1:05:19Jay Shetty:That's the most important thing. I think so. I think you need to have, with anything, people think it's just about the top one. It's the base that really builds business and builds your brand. If you're just building something on the top level and you don't have that good base, just in life too, as you know, like we just talked about our wonderful wives i have a great base at home i could do anything yeah but you need that base so the mentor for a business of course the most valuable piece of course that's 49 and so then i mean the celebrity business partner is not bad but listen you want the startup capital as well yeah i think those two are the best okay but you don't get the startup capital because you only you spent 45 25 oh 25 25 oh you got both okay you did it I could do math, Joe.

1:06:03Jay Shetty:Dave, you win. You win. That's good. All right. So those are the two most important things. It's an interesting one because you name so many mentors you've had, so many partners you've had in your career. And I think right now, everyone thinks they have to network to find a mentor. And I'm sure there's a million people like, Dave, will you be my mentor? And I'm sure you can't. I don't have the time. Exactly. So how does someone, what does that even look like? So listen, you could still study stuff about people, but you'd still find people that you admire. doesn't mean that you're going to, everything that you take away from them, you don't have to think is the gospel.

1:06:33I take different things from people all the time and I kind of make them my own. And even the person I admire the most, there's qualities of that person that I don't admire, right? And you try to extract the best you can out of everybody. That's why asking people what their story is will breed that.

1:06:50Jay Shetty:Yeah, I agree with you. And I was going to say that I feel like I had the most amazing group of mentors in people I never met because I read their books. So read that book. Take it personal. I'm just setting you up. This is a layup. No, but I mean it. No, I'm not just, I'm being serious. Like I never met Steve Jobs. I feel mentored by Steve Jobs. Never met Martin Luther King. I feel mentored by Martin Luther King because I've read their books and I've read their words and I thought about how did they act in that position? What decisions did they make? Like all of that kind of stuff. So I think we undervalue just how much wisdom's out there right now.

1:07:22And especially with all the platforms now, you don't even have to read the book. You could see the shorts, the whatever. on these people. I think I love going through social media and seeing people's stories. Yeah. I love, and like the ones I admire and even people I don't even know, I'm just like, wow, okay.

1:07:36Jay Shetty:Yeah, yeah, for sure. Dave, fifth and final question we ask is to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Just be good. Just do good. I think, yeah. To anyone and everyone. Everyone. And how can we do that on a daily basis? What does that look like? By having gratitude, like you said, for sure. But by trying to add value to people is what I find good. It's as simple as that. Boom. Yeah. Add value. And don't worry about being remembered. You'll always be remembered if you add value. By the way, even if you're not remembered, it's okay.

1:08:08Because you do it for yourself and not for the recognition. That being said, Jay, I'm so happy I made it through without crying. I'm very happy that I was, because I thought for sure I was going to have to cry. What did you think you were going to cry about? No, I'm just joking. My wife's like, you know, Dave, the deepness, you're not used to the deepness. And I'm like, I know. I think he's going to make me cry. I've got to be strong. I can't cry.

1:08:34Jay Shetty:No, my thing is like, I want people to be themselves. I know. But there's a lot of crying with that. No worries. No worries. There's a lot of, but I did make it through no crying. I didn't make you cry then. I thought for a little bit during the childhood, there could have been a moment, but it's okay. So we've got to go back there then. We've got to make you cry now. Now it's a challenge. Let's get the book out, Jay. Dave, you're a great time, man. Thank you so much for having me. That's what I wanted to do is having a great time. You're the best. Great. That's awesome. If you love this episode, you'll love my conversation with Airbnb founder Brian Chesky on how to tap into your creative potential and the number one thing people get wrong about success.

1:09:14The best people in your life will be people who see potential in you that you didn't see in yourself. And I often wonder.

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1:11:05Jay Shetty:This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.