Emma Grede: #1 Trick Successful People Use Every Day (THIS Will Open Doors You Didn’t Know Existed!)

25:40And I have a work ethic like you wouldn't believe. It's just, I can work and work and go and go and go. And I've needed those three things. But there's an enormous amount of things that I'm just horrendous. Like not just a little bit bad, like really bad. I am super impatient. Like I have no patience. And so I have to surround myself with people that have the things that I don't have. And I think that it's again, so important to understand like who you are not, like where are your weaknesses? What are you not good at? And again, we always go around going, you know, what do I need? Who am I? Like me, me, me, me, me.

26:20And it's like, it's so important in your life to surround yourself with friends, with business partners, with colleagues that have all the things that you don't have. And I think that that is one of the reasons I've been really successful. I surround myself with the right people constantly.

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29:31As I'm listening to you, I'm just thinking about how this self-awareness principle for everyone sitting here is so powerful. And we're so told in society to get better at what we're bad at. And I remember, and this is real for me, when I became a consultant after I left the monastery, finally got a job, I was lucky to get a job. I was rejected by 40 companies before I got it. And when I finally got that job, they were telling me, you've got to be good at Excel. You've got to be good at PowerPoint. You've got to be good at this. You've got to be good at. And I was like, I do not want to be good at Microsoft Excel.

30:08I still don't know how to do a VLOOKUP, right? For any of you geeks out there. This is the wrong town to admit that. Let me tell you, they're like so past that here. I know. They're like, bro, seriously, we're like AI in over here. But it's that kind of idea of like, you're so, you're told to get good at things that aren't your thing. And you constantly are wasting all this time and energy, focus, talking about focus. You've got a finite amount of focus. And if you're spending it on all the things you're not that great at, maybe you'll get average at those. But if you put it in the things, as Emma's saying, in the things you're good at, you can become phenomenal at those.

30:48And that's what we need to encourage people to do. Yes, it's really true. Yeah. Emma, I wanted to ask you, you have four adorable children. Adorable. Like the cutest, like truly the cutest. you post about them all the time as well you have an amazing husband as well who I love Jens like what a great man lucky girl yeah and it's it's just beautiful to see what you've been able to create and what did you say I said I'm a lucky girl uh he's a lucky guy I think so too and and when I when I look at I was wondering if if we asked your kids what does mum do how would they explain it oh my goodness so my um my kids like this is like a big like graduation week for everybody, right?

31:28So I have an 11-year-old and eight and twin three-year-olds. And the three-year-olds had like one of those projects where it was like, you know, what's your mom's name, your dad's name, da-da-da-da. And my kid said, our mom goes to work all the time. And I was like, you know, it's one of those things. I'm like, what are you going to do? You know? And there was a part of me that I was like, do I feel shame about that? Am I comfortable with that? But, you know, I've really made it a point to tell my kids how much I love work because I felt that with my first two, I was constantly in some cycle of apologies.

32:06I'm sorry that I'm leaving. I'm sorry that I'm going to New York. I'm sorry that I'll be back late tonight. And what I realized is that I created a narrative that I didn't really like what I was doing. And I had this conversation with my daughter as I was going to New York, like, you know, a few months ago. and she said, I'm so sorry you've got to go on this trip. And I said, Lo, when I go to New York, I have an amazing time. I sleep diagonally. I go out with my friends. I drink too much wine. I have the best time. And she said to me, oh, okay, have an amazing time. I'll see you in three days.

32:39And I thought, wow, I did that. So I'm working really hard to let my kids know, yeah, I'm not the mom that is at every drop-off. I'm not the mom that is volunteering at the school. But guess what? There are all of these other amazing things that I do that I enjoy. And I'm not trying to make you guys feel guilty about it. I'm not trying to play a martyr. These are things that I really love and enjoy. And I kind of feel like my kids are cool with it because they've been raised like that and they know that they can go after their dreams unashamedly. And I feel like if we start to shift that narrative with our children, it will make everything so much easier because nobody wants mum guilt.

33:17Nobody wants any parental guilt. And we all know it's there, but we don't need that. Yeah, it's, you know, I can only speak about it from being a son to a mum that I love. And I've told you this before, like my mum was the breadwinner of the house. She'd wake up in the morning, make me and my sister lunch to take with us to school, make us breakfast. She'd drop us to school, go to work. we'd get picked up by a nanny from school. We'd wait there for a couple of hours. My mom would come back from work, pick us up, make us dinner, help us with our homework and then go back to work in the evening.

33:54And I really believe that my work ethic is because of watching my mom work. Yes. And here's the interesting thing. I didn't have a lot of time with my mom growing up, but I never felt unloved. And I've started to realize that time doesn't equal love, but that's what we've all convinced ourselves we're like if I'm there for you all the time then that means I love you and actually that's not the case because if I'm there all the time but I'm not happy I'm not really present I'm on my phone I'm distracted I'm over entertaining you you don't get time to be bored you don't get time to be disconnect time doesn't equal love and I feel like today we put a lot of pressure on parents to have to be everything at home and perform at work and be amazing partners.

34:38When I look around, it's really hard on my friends that I see having that pressure to be a perfect parent, a perfect professional, a perfect partner, a perfect everything. Yeah. Because it wasn't like that. But we also have to figure out where does that pressure come from, right? Because oftentimes it's coming from some outside source or we're putting it on ourselves. And I did an exercise for myself when I first had Grace, so like 11 years ago. and I wrote down what was important to me because you know what? There are certain non-negotiables. Like if my kid's in a play, if they're, you know, like we had a big graduation thing today, like I am there, but I don't know that I think it's important to make like Instagrammable lunch boxes.

35:22Like that's not something I need to do, you know? And so I don't do that, but you know, it's like, it's, so it's really important to figure out like, are these my standards or are these somebody else's standards and what are my non-negotiables? And so I feel like once you get there, everything suddenly falls into place. And that's the important thing like in all parts of our life. Like where are my standards? Where are the places that I feel that I will absolutely not be happy if these things are happening in my life? Where are the places that I feel like I would be making a sacrifice versus what is everybody else thinking of me?

35:59What did I see that I feel like I need to be keeping up with? What do the school tell me, you know, I need to do? Because half the time, if you know, if you can level with things in your own life, like you'll be okay. So I think it's really important. And I constantly have those conversations with myself because life that you're, you're in this constant change mode, hopefully, right? Like what worked for my kids when they were five doesn't work for them at 11. And so I try to reassess constantly, like, how do I really feel about these things? And I write it down. I'm like, it's really important for me to have a girls trip once a year.

36:34And I do that every single year without fail. Like, I don't negotiate. I don't say to my husband, oh, I can't figure out the dates. It's like, it is happening. That is one of the things that makes me happy because those connections, those relationships are something that I find absolutely precious. And so I just have a bunch of things that I feel are non-negotiable in my life, but they're mine. It's my list. I own it. It doesn't belong to anyone else and it doesn't come from anywhere else. And the rest, I just say, like, I'm not doing it. So good. So good. Honestly, like, I love the standard piece because maybe someone's standard is to make Instagrammable lunches.

37:14Yes. And that's beautiful. I'm good for them. I love watching those videos. I watch the video. I just don't want to make the lunch. And that's what's so beautiful. And that's, that's kind of where we're struggling. I feel where we're making someone else's standards, our standards, as you said, and that's where everything goes wrong. You know, and again, I want to go back to a point you made earlier about this. Women get this, ask this question, especially as CEOs, especially as business builders, far more disproportionately than men. To be honest, I don't think men even get asked this. And so when I'm asking this, I'm asking it self-aware and want to make that point that women always get asked, how do you balance it all?

37:50Right? Which men don't get asked. Like if I'm sitting with a male CEO, no one goes, Hey, wait a minute. How do you balance it all? Yeah. Yo, Elon, how's the balance going with your 17 kids?

38:10So I ask it for that reaction, right? And you get asked it and all the rest of it. And then how have you been able to and and this is true for me too and i think about it but you've done it with you do have beautiful we were just literally when i saw you this today you were facetiming your daughter and she was building a crown she'd made a magnetile yeah yeah it was so happy with it so happy with it it's beautiful and we were talking to her and then and then jen's your husband who i know too and he's like having dinner while you're getting ready and you're chatting and it's so beautiful to see, right?

38:43And like you're finding time for all of these really important relationships, even though you've been so kind to come out and help me out with this. And so when I see that happening, I'm like, what does it take? What does it take to be the power house CEO, to be a present wife, to be a connected mom? Like, what is that taking? And I know you, I know you don't believe in perfection. I don't. What does that, what does it take? so at the risk of sounding and saying things that I've said a lot I do talk about the ideas of trade-offs all the time I talk about the idea of an unbelievable amount of help but I think the most important thing to talk about in the context of where we are today is really thinking about ourselves, really thinking about ourselves.

39:34Because if the standard, and if people look at me and think, well, you know, her hair's done and the husband's nice and the kids look perfect and that house is good and she's running all these companies, you would have missed the entire point of me. Because what I do well is what works for me. That's what works for me. And I think that if we think for one second that we have to emulate and we have to take pieces of everybody's life, like that's where we start to go wrong. So for me, I have nannies. I have other people that do things in the house. I have like so much help, but I've never had a problem my whole life in asking for help.

40:14It's something that I do all the time. If I have a problem in my business, I call a competitor. If I can't figure something out, like I'm on the phone trying to work it through. And that becomes a pattern in your life, like asking for help, not comparing yourself. And so what I say to not just women, to everyone who's trying to figure out how to do all their stuff is work it out for yourself. Don't let the standards of what you see around you impede on how you feel. Because the idea that anyone's got it all down is just fake. And I don't. That's the truth. Every single day, if you see me here, it means that my kids didn't have me at dinner tonight.

41:00If you see me here right now, it means that I'm giving something else up. And so my life is this series of trade-offs. It is this series of I'm doing one thing, but I made this decision today because I was like, I want to go to Jay Shetty and talk to all the people. And that's fine, but I don't feel bad about that. I'm not going to torture myself about it, but I think that we have to really look into ourselves and decide what's right for us and stop trying to chase this idea of balance and also stop lying. You know, I just stopped lying about it. I started to say, this is really hard. I really have to make difficult choices.

41:39And when I made choices that were seemingly selfish or about me, I stopped hiding them because I thought that was doing a disservice to other women. So when I'm out, I'm going to say I'm out. When I'm not with my kids, I'm going to say I'm not with my kids. When I say I only do school drop-off twice a week, that's on a good week. So I'm just going to stop lying and everyone else can follow suit.

42:04You're changing the game. Like you're actually changing the game. And that's why I was so excited. By the way, I was so excited because literally just a couple of weeks ago, Emma launched her own podcast, Aspire with Emma Greed. And I want everyone in here to go on their Spotify or their Apple app or whatever app you use when you leave tonight. And I want you to go subscribe to Aspire by Emma Greed. You're so lovely. If you're not already, I mean it. Because I really feel like your voice in this space is so refreshing. It's so revolutionary. It's totally redefining what women can think about of what's possible, what's expected of them, what's perfect, what's not, what's real.

42:46And I feel like you just being real and honest is genuinely what's needed in this space. I don't know anyone else who's doing it. And it's something I love about you. I'm in awe of you and I admire it so, so deeply. I mean it. Oh, I love you. Thanks, Jay. I'll pay you later. No, I mean it. I love you, but I have to tell everyone that on my first day of filming, I filmed with Jay. And I wanted to die. I was like, why are you the first person that I'm filming with? You know, you work because, and I tell you why, because this is, and it speaks so much to who you are. You know, I thought about my dream guests.

43:20I was like, who do I want to talk to? And so I text Jay and I thought, you know what? He'll want to see the show and he'll watch a couple of episodes. And maybe if I'm super lucky in like six or nine months, he'll come on the pod. But of course you were like, yeah, when should I come? And I was like, oh, I can't believe it. So you were the first person, which was so crazy. But, you know, I'm really happy to be doing this thing because I've spent my entire career building businesses. And after a while, you start to realize that as much of a solution you are, you're also part of the problem, right?

43:53You're part of the problem of what people look to and see sometimes as unattainable. And so what I wanted to do with this podcast was A, start telling the truth, B, to really talk about like what it takes, because I feel like there's so much toxic positivity out there and it's totally unhelpful for all of us. So I was like, I'm going to tell the truth. I'm going to, you know, be me from East London, which means I really tell the truth. And, you know, I'm going to get the people that I have worked so hard to get to know because they will come on and they will speak to me in a way that perhaps they wouldn't to somebody else.

44:32And it's been amazing because I really look at, you know we're all in some way trying to build the life of our dreams we're all trying to live out this idea of what we find aspiring but it's different for different people and we all have different opportunities and the more I would go around this country I get constantly stopped by people that would say to me I've got two kids and I'm like 35 and I just want to change and could you give me some advice and I thought wouldn't it be amazing if you could figure out how you could scale mentorship. And so for me, the idea was just that simple. Just have conversations, be really honest, talk to the people that I aspire to the most and give people the tools so that they can make and build the life of their dreams.

45:17And it's honestly been like the biggest privilege because I feel like when you come at something with a really good intention, like unbelievable things happen. And it's only been, I don't know, it's been like a couple of months of filming but I feel like it's been pretty magical and people are doing exactly that they're coming there they're telling the truth and it's actually helping people what more do you need I love it I love it all right I want to take you up on that I want to take you up on that Emma I'm going to give someone a really special opportunity today and therefore I want you to really honor it if you raise your hand I want it to be because you have something really valuable and something really thought through and something really mature in your idea because I believe it's such a special opportunity.

46:04Tonight's been all about doing things, not caring about what people think, to take your moment, to make sure that you don't miss out, to say, I'll do that, as Emma taught us earlier. I want to give someone the opportunity in a moment to come up here and have 60 seconds to elevate a pitch, their idea, to the one and only Emma Green. So if anyone has a business idea, a dream for a business idea, a company, AI, whatever it is, I want you to raise your hand. I'm taking a look around. Raise your hand, raise your hand. I'm seeing a lot of people. This is great. I'm looking up there up the top. I see the light as well.

46:46I see the light as well. Let me go. Let me go do it. I'm going to come out and talk to a few people. Oh, my God. He's a Roman reporter. That's it. I'm going to get up in the audience. Give it up for Kay, everyone. Well done. I love it. So nice to meet you. Hello. Congratulations. Well done for standing. I chose you because you stood up. I'm very excited. Kay, I'm going to ask you to come over here on our spot. This is for you. Thank you. We're going to give you 60 seconds to share your elevator pitch to the one and only Emma Creed and the audience. Hello. My name is Kate Wood. I'm from Redding, California.

47:27In 2020, I had twins as well. About eight months later, I opened my first restaurant. About six weeks ago, I opened my second restaurant. But I've always had this dream to have a YouTube show and take it to the Food Network. My dream is to start a show called Staj and where you can either take celebrities or other people, influencers, and each season would be that person and you put them in different spaces for an episode. So each episode would have an adventure challenge. It would have like a high end challenge and it would also have something really like heartwarming. All in the food industry, we expose, you can expose meat packaging places.

48:16You could go into prisons. You could go to high-end Michelin star restaurants. But each episode, that celebrity or that person would be a stage, and you'd have to take on those challenges. You'd have to step into that risk. You would have to expose different parts of this industry. And it's sort of this meeting between Triple D and dirty jobs. but all in the food industry because it's such a huge industry that I love so much and it takes so much every day for us to make this happen and we all just love creating food and feeding people and so I just thought it'd be a really lovely TV show idea and I would have to take that first step to be a stodge and so that's my idea good up for Kay everyone thank you it's amazing Emma, over to you.

49:10Insight, advice. Here we go. Ready? Advice. So the first thing I want to say is I love that you stood because you were the first person that I saw. And that's why I was like, I'm going for you there because you just stood up. So the idea that you would even put yourself out there in that way is a really big and important first step. Also, on restaurant number two, congratulations to you. That's like insane. Insane. It really is. I think the beauty about the media climate and where we are right now is that you can do things in a really big, shiny, Netflix, big budget, beautiful way. Or you can scale ideas down and you can test into them.

49:47And I think that one of the most amazing things that I've seen really, really work in my career is when we've taken things that we thought had potential to be really big and really global. and we've tested them on smaller platforms, like figuring something out on YouTube or figuring out like an Instagram version of what you're trying to do. Your idea is to take something, you know, like a whole industry and to go into somewhere, you know, like the prisons that you mentioned or whatever it might be. But why would you not test that instead of with an influencer, with one of your friends in a more localized situation and figure out how it works?

50:26Because there's some beauty to this idea of test and learn. One of the things that I 1000 % know as an entrepreneur is that you've just got to start. Like if you have figured it all out and you've written a big presentation and you're waiting for the one magical day that you're going to meet Ted Sarandos and pitch it to Netflix, like that day might never come. But you could get out of the starting block and just try something. And then the beauty of that is that you get to test and learn and you fail and you iterate and you start again. So I would take this idea that you've got and extrapolate the best pieces of it and try it in some really little small way, whatever you can.

51:03I would do it tomorrow. Tomorrow. Give it up for Kay, everyone.

51:11Thank you, my love. You're awesome. It's very nice to meet you. Bye. Give it up for Kay, everyone. I can't believe we did that. What's that? I can't believe we did that. I know. That was perfect. It was so much fun. It's like that. It's what you said. Like someone saying, I'll do that. Raising a hand. Kate's courage. And also just having a great idea, having a great thought. And that advice you gave was spot on. I love the advice you gave. I think it's so valuable to hear that. It's interesting you said that. When I first wanted this show to exist, I actually started on purpose because I pitched a TV show that got rejected.

51:53no seven years ago no yeah i had a tv show idea i actually had the opportunity to pitch at netflix and pitch at abc and pitch at mtv was still around then and did they turn you down and i got rejected they rejected my tv show idea oh they must be and so i started a podcast yes yes so you know like Just hearing that gave me goosebumps because that was exactly what happened to me. Emma, you have been phenomenal tonight. You are truly one of my favorite people in the world. Everyone, make sure you go and subscribe to Aspire with Emma Greed. Apple, Spotify, YouTube, all the platforms. Follow Emma on Instagram if you don't already.

52:41Give it up for Emma Greed. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the best. I love you. Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort is the key to growth and the strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If you know you want to be more and achieve more this year, go check it out right now. You set a goal today, you achieve it in six months. And then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief. There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of expected it and you would have been disappointed if it didn't happen.

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54:33Listen to Earsay on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow Earsay and start listening on the free iHeart Radio app today. What a matchup we got, y 'all. This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non-stop action, the band is rocking, and the crowd lit. Chance echoing, drumbeat, everybody showing that school pride. A game like this? Yeah, it calls for an ice-cold Coca-Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game-changer right there. Mmm, yeah. That taste always hits the right note, just like a band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere, and an ice cold Coca-Cola.

55:17That's a winning combo. No matter the sport, no matter the yard, everybody knows. Fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca-Cola and keep that HBCU pride going. This is an iHeart Podcast.